The Cancer Caregiver

Emma is from Victoria Australia and the author of "The Blind Side of Caregivers". She became a full-time caregiver for a close friend who had terminal liver cancer. He passed away in August 2019. When he passed she became the primary caregiver to his mother who also had terminal liver cancer who passed in December 2020. You can find more about Emma and her book at https://emmacrooke-author.godaddysites.com. Listen to how she coped with caring for someone with terminal cancer.

Managing your loved one’s medication can be a royal pain in the butt! No matter if you do it all the time or only after surgeries it’s a big responsibility when you’re already overloaded with responsibilities. I’ve done it all. I’ve taped labels to the pill bottles to check off when they were given. I’ve listed everything out on a pad of paper to make sure I have a way to verify that I gave the right medicine at the right time. I’ve made it overly complicated and way too simple. SO I think I have it all figured out for now. Listen to today’s episode to hear how I manage. I would love to hear your tips and tricks. Send them by simply leaving a message for me at the website www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

It’s difficult, as a caregiver, to find someone you can talk to about the things you feel while caregiving. Someone who won’t judge you and if you don’t have that person you feel lonely and misunderstood. There are a lot of different issues that we come across that really can’t be fully understood if the other person hasn’t experienced them. But if I have someone who cares for me or loves me enough to want to support me and understand that they might not always get what I’m talking about but will be there to listen and try not to judge that is a really good start. Listen to today’s Episode and hear more on how to find people to confide in.

Caregivers and resentment. It’s there but we never talk about it. You experience it but never say anything because you don’t want to be judged. You've given up so much… A job, Sanity Sleep That carefree life you used to have. It’s ok. It’s a normal thing for you to feel. Listen to this episode to hear how every caregiver can handle resentment. While you're listening come over to www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com to download more caregiver tools and resources.

“When you start to reconsider your assumptions about your life and start to look at caregiving differently you start to find the rewards of caregiving.” Today’s podcast episode is the second of a two part conversation with Dr Aaron Blight. Dr Blight is the author of the new book, When Caregiving Calls: Guidance as You Care for a Parent, Spouse or Aging Relative. Today Dr Blight and I continue our conversation on caregiving. In this episode we talk about accepting the role of caregiver and how to make it fit in with all the other roles you hold. We also discuss being present with our loved one and taking care of ourselves. Listen more on fully stepping into your caregiver role. You can find Dr Blight at https://caregivingkinetics.com More podcast episodes can be found at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

“The wife may start to ask herself, Who am I now? Am I more of a caregiver than a wife? Today’s podcast episode is the first of a two part conversation with Dr Aaron Blight Dr Blight is the author of the new book, When Caregiving Calls: Guidance as You Care for a Parent, Spouse or Aging Relative. In this episode Dr Blight speaks with me on the issues we have in identifying as caregivers. Usually we are thrust into helping a loved one and we become a caregiver without even realizing it. Once we realize we are caregivers, we have some decisions to make on how we will go forward into that role. Listen more on how we create an identity as a caregiver and how that process is one of the most important things to do in order to accept the life we live. You can find Dr Blight at https://caregivingkinetics.com More podcast episodes can be found at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

Does it ever surprise you when you realize the amount of time and energy you put into taking care of your spouse? All of these things you do for them. All the time. All the energy it takes to be you right now so that you can be there for them. Does it surprise you that you can do all of this for one human being? Does it ever surprise you when you realize the amount of time and energy you NEVER give yourself? Listen now and then head over to www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

I know it might not feel like a time to celebrate for you. As a caregiver the beginning of the year can be annoying. Everyone talking about resolutions and how they are going to change their lives. While you’re just trying to keep up with how to get your spouse to doctors appointments during covid. But, even if for just a quick second, congratulate yourself for making it through. Take a moment to look back at what you survived, fought for and learned. Want this year to feel better? Where do you start? Listen more on today’s podcast. After listening, head over to the podcast website to find support, downloads and other episodes. www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

Hope. Sometimes it fuels you and other times it’s a four letter word. I know how it feels to really have hope and the crushing feeling when you realize it isn’t going to happen. Life may feel like it’s harder for us but it isn’t impossible and if we can find a way to hope we can stay connected with what fuels us and helps us to continue as caregivers in this world. Find more caregiver resources as www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

Have you been able to let go of the person you were right before you became a caregiver? Of course parts of you are the same but if you look back you know you aren't the same person. When we grieve the loss of another person were have rituals and ceremonies that we follow to help us process the loss. What have you done to process the loss of the old you and the life you lived before caregiving? Listen to Episode 40 and hear more about letting go of yourself. Then head over to www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

I love looking at pictures! I can sit and look through photo albums and photo feeds all day. When we take pictures it's usually to record a happy moment, a beautiful landscape or something weird someone is doing. We don't usually take pictures of the dirty hair, tear streaked faces or moments filled with sadness. In episode 39 I talk about missed moments, the power of a picture and capturing the moment no matter what. Listen now and then come over to www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

Holidays are hard when you aren't a caregiver! Adding on the additional stress of going through a time you feel pressure to be happy when someone you care for is seriously ill is a difficult task to take on. The hardest part is being available to experience the moments with your loved one. Maybe things aren't extremely bad and your loved one had the energy to enjoy the season. During those happy moments you find yourself pulled away by sadness, stress, exhaustion or maybe your brain just won't stop winding through all the things and you can't just be there. Listen more to not being able to let go over the holidays in Episode 38 and then head over the www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com.

When you feel sad is it also followed by shame? When being sad around someone have they told you that there is nothing to be sad about because you aren't the one who is sick? Were you the one that told yourself that? No one should tell you if you deserve to feel sad or not. Especially yourself. Feeling any emotion is valid and you have a lot of them coming through at any time, don't you? Trying to care for a loved one while handling the crazy world you live in plus the holidays? Listen to Episode 37 and hear more about owning your feelings and allowing yourself to feel them and then find more at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

Listen to Kyle Woody, Executive Director of Jack’s Caregiver Coalition, and Charlotte Bayala talk about what it means to be a male caregiver on the Caregiver Connection Podcast Episode 36. Kyle explains what Jack’s Caregiver Coalition is, as well as how they help create a space for caregivers to connect. Kyle and Charlotte also talk about things that are universal to all caregivers especially how they should seriously consider creating a care team for themselves. Find Jack's at https://www.jackscaregiverco.org Find more support from Charlotte at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

You're too tired to care about decorating for the holidays let alone celebrate them. So many reasons not to celebrate this year and if you are in the thick of caregiving maybe lack energy is one of them. I completely get it. But celebrating doesn't have to be big. Find that one thing that will light up your light for at least that day. Find a way to let go and enjoy the time with your loved one. If they can't get out of bed take the celebration to them. Decorate around the room they are in most of the time and enjoy just being beside them. Watch that movie you used to always watch together this time of year. Order the food you usually ate and listen to the songs you both love. Sure it's different. Of course it's emotional but a lot can change in a year. Find a way to celebrate life, love, hope, and miracles. Listen and then go to www.caregiverconnection.com to share how you celebrate.

Did you know you can have a mentor that will walk beside you on this caregiving path?Someone who has also been a cancer caregiver? Listen to Jackie Herigodt, Direction of Programs and Outreach, and Charlotte Bayala on Episode 34 of the Caregiver Connection Podcast. Jackie and Charlotte discuss the importance of connecting with other caregivers, the importance of finding support and ways to take care of yourself. Jackie shares some of her caregiver story and how helpful it was to have a mentor she could lean on as she cared for different people in her family. Listen about how we all feel at times like we don’t deserve the help we need or experience the emotions we have and the resources that may be available for us. Learn more about Imerman Angels at www.imermanangels.org and find more support from Charlotte at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

We all go through life living a story we have either created for us, by others or a combination of both. Sometimes we feel we are living in harmony with who we believe we should be and other times we are actually not following the story at all. When we don't change the script and our world has already caused us to evolve it's hard to find happiness. Listen to Episode 33 and then head over to www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com to share your story.

Today’s episode is a conversation with Janet Salo, a family support specialist for Lutheran Social Service’s Kinship Family Support Service. Kinship caregivers are people who are caring for children of other family members or friends who’s parents aren’t able to care for them. This episode is important not only for people who have stepped in to care for a child but for family members and friends of these caregivers so they can understand the needs of their loved one that they might not have been aware of. It’s also very interesting to see the caregiving experience from a different perspective. As a cancer caregiver I was able to see my own experience in a different light and learned a lot about myself while learning about kinship caregivers from Janet. If you would like to find more information on Kinship Support Services go to www.kinshipcaregivers.org. I'd love to hear your caregiver story. Go to Share on www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com.

Does Caregiving wear you out? Do you dream of naps, not having to worry or needing to cook? I’m with ya! Listen to this weeks podcast and if you have some napping tips please share on the podcast FB group page or directly with me. Find the info at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

As if life weren’t difficult enough for us caregivers now we are doing it with the additional stress of living in a pandemic. It’s as life was like - nope things aren’t difficult enough for you - let’s through another roadblock in there and see how you do!! Your loved one has cancer and you’r already worried about them living a long life so let's throw something else at ya and see if you can survive it. Right? What have you had to change in the way you care for your loved one during this time? Have any Covid tips? I'd love to hear. Connect with me at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

Caring Bridge is the perfect way to let everyone know how things are going for your loved one. It helps take the burden off you, the caregiver, because the last thing you have energy for is re-telling updates all day. But doesn’t a part of you want to make that journal update all about you? Sometimes I do and this episode is what my version of that would be. No filters. All Snark and Sarcasm! What would you put in your post about just you? Come to the podcast FB group or share with me directly at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

Do you remember the moment you felt like running away? That second where you had that brief pause and it all hit you that this was it, at least for now. You know that thought that made you feel the heaviness of the situation and sucked the breath out of your lungs. And for at least a moment (if not more) you wanted to run, leave, or wave a wand and come out of the bad movie you just realized you were in? It’s ok to feel this. How lonely it feels to have these things inside us that we feel we can’t talk about to anyone. If you are caring for someone right now it means that you are not living a lifestyle that is carefree. You are probably distracted from life. Not doing much for yourself and when you do you feel like you shouldn’t be. Your life IS hard. It is difficult to give so much of yourself to another person. Talking about it helps. If you'd like to share, I would like to listen. Set up a call or leave a message at www.caregiverconnection.com

What would happen if you didn’t hold back the tears when someone asks you if you are ok? Maybe I cry because I know how lonely it makes us feel to keep all of these things inside. I feel sad because I get the chance to say things out loud that most caregivers will never say and I know that makes you feel alone. I'd love to hear what you feel about crying or maybe you'd like to share your caregiver story with me. Set up a call at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

Think back to a time when you learned something profound from and encounter from a complete stranger. Does anything come to mind? Maybe it was something they did that made you rethink the way you do something. Or possibly it was the way they gave you a smile on a horrible day. Throughout my life there have been people that have just appeared, for maybe just minutes, that left a lasting impression on me. This podcast episode is about one such encounter. I hope this episode makes you stop and think for at moment at least. Has something similar happened to you? I'd love to hear. Visit www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com and share your story with me. You can also sign up for my newsletter and receive free PDF downloads of a Medical Visit organizer and Connection sheet.

It took a lot to keep this one clean. Hearing people say that Thyroid cancer is th good one makes me angry. So many people suffer from this disease. Yes some are able to live with it but living with this cancer takes it’s toll on the life of the person who has it and their families. Listen to Episode 25 to hear more. How do you react when people try to console you with this false statement? I’d love to know. Share in the comments or send me a private message via the podcast website. www.caregiverconncetionpodcast.com

On our way to meet with a surgeon something happened that made me realize that I have the ability to do something to create a bright or dark moments in someone’s day. Helping my husband through cancer sometimes makes me short sighted but I know that I love when someone unexpectedly lightens up my day and I should do my best at all times to at least be aware of the potential that I can do the same. Listen to this week’s episode (EP 24) and hear what happened to make more realize this. I would love to hear about a time someone made your day. Share in the comments or head over to the podcast website and click on “Share Your Story” and share. www.caregiverconncetionpodcast.com

“When life become complicated the last thing you even think of doing is checking in with how you feel and - let’s face it. Not a lot of people will ask you that question” I feel that as a caregiver there is always the potential that big things can happen quickly. Caregiver stress can become overwhelming if you don’t understand how your body reacts to it. Listen to this week’s episode (EP 24) to hear how I react to being stressed and what I do when I see the signs that I need to take a break. I would love to hear how stress affects you as a caregiver. Share in the comments or head over to the podcast website and click on “Share Your Story” and share. www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

“You are not the person you were at the beginning of this caregiver experience and you don’t like whoever it is you are now. “ This is when you become bitter. You look around and you don’t recognize who you are anymore. The emotions you feel are real. Your anger, frustration and sadness are valid emotions. You don’t need permission to feel them and you don’t need to explain them. It is difficult to navigate through all the pressure, work, disappointment and overwhelm that comes with being a caregiver. Listen to this week’s Podcast (EP22) to hear more. I would love to hear how your life has changed as a caregiver. Share in the comments or head over to the podcast website and click on “Share Your Story” and share. www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

I find myself coming back to the caregiver vs loved one role often. How can you be a caregiver but still enjoy your loved one at the same time? How do you take on the responsibility to care for them but still find the energy to connect with them? In this episode I talk about how I sometimes fall into the trap of being 100% caregiver and how I realized that I also needed to be able to be a wife. I share how I spend so much energy to find ways to keep him alive by advocating for him but once I get him home it shifts in to me caring for him and not fully enjoying moments with him. I also share what I did after his first surgery when needing to find different ways to connect. For more caregiver support and podcast information go to www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

What would be the perfect setting to come home to after being in the hospital with your loved one as they recovered from surgery? Imagine the first step into the house, what do you see? Who is there? I find that when I get back home with my husband after surgery we are both exhausted. Too tired to cook, to take showers all we want to do is collapse into bed. This episode is just what my wish list would be for us when we come home from the hospital. Find more caregiver support and information at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

This week's episode is about the LID diet and Radioactive Iodine Treatment. When you have to have injest a pill that is radioactive but have to starve your body of iodine before you do it you can find yourself in a three week struggle of helping your loved one prepare and then endure the isolation of the quarantine. If you haven’t been through this then you don’t know quarantine the way thyroid cancer survivors do. Listen to how I helped my husband prepare for his treatment and hear about the wins and the struggles we both survived those three weeks. Find more support and podcast information at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

My husband has his six month check up this week? How do you feel in the days leading up to these appointments? What do you do to cope? There is always so much anxiety coming into the week of an appointment. Listen to today’s episode to find out what we do to prepare for his day of thyroid cancer scans and doctors appointments at Mayo Clinic. Find more information and support at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

I am not a nurse! Yet I still had to do things I consider better suited for a trained health professional to do. I had to flip the caregiver switch in order to stomach having to strip drains and help take care of wound sites. Listen today to hear how I handled helping my husband heal after his thyroidectomy. Episode 16 is ready for you. Just make sure you aren’t eating while you listen to it.

Once you get your loved one back home from the hospital you realize life is very different. You begin to navigate through the days to figure out what your are normal is. One of the important things while doing this is to never lose sight of your why. Why did you fall in love with this person? Why are you caring for them? Being reminded of your why will help give you focus through the difficult moments and will allow you to remember the love you have for this person. Listen to how I had to adjust and figure out how to live in my new role of caregiver in Episode 15 now.

We all have the moments as caregivers where we are overwhelmed with emotions. We feel like we just can’t take more. We feel lonely, misunderstood and left behind by everyone else we know. It isn’t fair. You aren’t alone. There are so many of us that understand how you feel. Listen to Episode 14 now.

Going to appointments is stressful enough with out the addition of Pandemic protocols and meeting new doctors. However, you need to continue to go to your appointments for scans and Dr’s visits if they feel it is important for you to go. Listen to Episode 18 today to hear how it all went. Reach out and let me know how your visits have been during this Covid-19 pandemic. Send me a message at www.caregiverconnection.com

“Take care of yourself”. You’ve heard those words before. “Take care of yourself so you can continue to care for your loved one” What do you feel when you hear that? Anger? Frustration? Acceptance? Usually someone you love tells you this because they sense you need it. Or maybe they’ve said it because they’ve heard it somewhere. It’s not the reason why someone says it but the mood you are in when you hear it being said. When you are stressed out, tired and frustrated with life the last thing you want to hear is that on top of it all you have to care for yourself! With what time? With what energy? How? Listen to this episode to hear about how I felt when I was told to take care of myself and a tool I found to use. Find more on www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com

Do you remember that feeling you got when you were told you could bring your loved one home from the hospital? Did you feel relieved and anxious at the same time? Leaving the hospital, after my husbands thyroidectomy, and going back into the “real world” can be unsettling to say the least. You are exhausted and under a lot of stress and then you have to go back home and take care of this person all the time WITHOUT THE ASSISTANCE OF NURSES ???? What?!? Listen to today’s podcast #12 here and learn what I experienced when my husband was released after his cancer surgery. Find more information for the Caregiver Connection Podcast at www.charlottebayala.com Join a positive caregiving community at https://www.facebook.com/groups/612474642869329/

Do you let kids come to the hospital to see your loved one after surgery? That’s a loaded question. These are the types of decision you have to make that completely suck! There isn’t one right answer and it’s not the type of question your doctor would be able to help you out with because it’s a personal decision. You probably don’t have a lot of other caregivers to give you their ideas and maybe don’t have access to family members that can help without making you feel bad about it. Listen to today’s episode #11 and listen to see if we decided to let our daughter visit the hospital and how we, as caregivers, really need to support each other in a way that we can feel safe to ask for advice. Find me at www.charlottebayala.com and join our FB group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/612474642869329/

In this episode I will talk about how I find that sitting in the hospital room with your loved one is the initiation to your life as a caregiver. That uncomfortable chair is the metaphor for all the things you are going to try to deal with by sidestepping your own needs and over riding your need to find comfort and moments of rest. Find more at www.caregiverconnectionpodcast.com Join our supportive caregiver group on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/612474642869329/

Today in Episode 9 of the Caregiver Connection Podcast, I explain how important I felt it was to be by my husband's side while he was in the hospital recovering from his cancer surgery. Listen in to the end for hospital tips and tricks

Remember sitting in the waiting room while your loved one was in surgery? Am I the only one that felt going to the bathroom meant missing a call down from the nurse? Find out how I dealt (or didn't) with waiting over 6 hours for my husband's cancer surgery to end in today's episode

When my husband was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer our lives were forever changed without warning. I didn't have a moment to look back and have one last look at my old world and life. I was thrust into this new normal that was uncomfortable and difficult to manage. Listen to the episode and learn how I coped with this unforeseeable change as I was thrust into the role of a cancer caregiver.

You can chose to see the silver linings or not. As a caregiver I found that I needed to work hard to keep the atmosphere in the house a positive one. Sure, for many cancer=death but we can die so many other ways in-between now and then. My husband wasn’t on death’s door so I refused to have people act like he was. It wasn’t helping either one of us to have to console other people when he was the one with cancer. So we found ways to find moments where we could laugh and enjoy being together even when it felt like the world was too heavy to stand up to. Listen to how we did this in today’s episode.

I don’t know how other people prepared for their loved ones Dr’s appointments but I spent a lot of time studying and researching all I could find on thyroid cancer just so I could make sure I understood what the Doctor would tell us and the options we would be given. That didn’t change how hard it was to go into the office and wait in a room feeling that in a mere sentence your life could be changed.

Isn't it interesting how people react when you give them bad news? As a caregiver, when you first find out about a diagnosis the next thing you have to do is tell your loved ones and then continue down the line of people you feel you should tell. Each time you have to do that you lose a little bit more of the energy you need to continue sharing the news and then answering the subsequent questions you usually don’t have the answers to. Listen to today’s episode to hear about my experiences in having to tell people about my husband's thyroid cancer diagnosis and the emotional toll some of those conversations took.

Information is an overwhelming commodity in the world of a caregiver. Sometimes you want to know more and other times you feel you know too much. People want more of it from you and you don’t always have the energy to give it out. In a time where you feel you can find out about anything from your computer you soon find that what you can find and what you can understand are two different things in the world of cancer. Today’s podcast episode explains how I had to deal with information while coming to terms with my husband's diagnosis. Find more episode information and support for Caregivers at www.charlottebayala.com.

There is always an origin story for us as caregivers. Most times we don’t even see it coming and then it sweeps us up takes us along on this ride we never asked to go on. In today’s episode I will share how I became a caregiver. Find more podcast episodes and content for caregivers at www.charlottebayala.com

Get to know Charlotte and her experiences as a Caregiver for her husband, who has thyroid cancer. In this episode, you will get a little background information and what you can expect from the podcast.