TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke and Andrew open up the ol' (well, actually newish) TBTL P.O.box to find out what the Tens of Listeners have sent in.

Luke reports on two incidents of amazing customer service from the same NW tire chain. Plus, people in Canada can't seem to stop accidentally eating bugs on television. Photo by mbtrama on Flickr via Creative Commons license

Luke thinks it's odd that so many people are celebrating the end of Leonardo DiCaprio's relationship. Meanwhile, Andrew still can't tell the difference between Leo and Matt Damon for some reason? Plus, France is using robots to nab people with off-the-books pools in their backyards.

Luke is ready to make some real changes in his life, and Andrew thinks he should start with a Battery Daddy. Plus, a crypto company accidentally sent a woman a million bucks, and now they want it back.

There's a lot of news coming out of Detroit these days, including the re-opening of a slide that is bruising the heck out of people. HBO's Hard Knocks is documenting the Detroit Lions' preseason, leaving Luke and Andrew to try to figure out what the heck their coach is trying to say as he pumps-up his team.

Luke spent the past two weeks building scissor trusses, digging concrete trenches and inventing something he's calling "Cat Camping." Meanwhile, Andrew has a visitor staying with him for a couple of weeks, and that visitor keeps crawling up his legs while he tries to record TBTL.

Luke and Andrew reminisce over their experiences with murder mystery parties, escape rooms, and the game of Clue. Plus, listener Susan tests Andrew's knowledge of St. Paul, MN, as the 2022 TBTL Summer Games come to a close.

Andrew recalls a time when a trip to a downtown diner changed the course of his life. Maybe. Plus, Bill in Toronto put together a quiz for Luke challenging his knowledge of Mad Magazine movie spoofs.

Andrew found a bunch of old Mariners baseball cards from the early '90s at a garage sale, and he asks Luke to give him the backstory on some of the players. Plus TBTL's "Perfect Daddy" has a quiz for Luke to see how well he remembers former TBTL guests.

Andrew accidentally orders a pizza from a very unusual source, and now that he knows where it came from, he might be a changed man. He and Luke also test their knowledge of fast food menu items with a flavor-blasted quiz from listener Mike!

Luke is wielding a concrete saw this week, so look out! Plus, his garage renovation project leads Andrew to realize he has some structural issues of his own. And the TBTL Summer Games continue with a quiz that seriously challenges Andrew's knowledge of Latin phrases.

Luke and Andrew consider their own future now that podcasting's *other* famous duo has broken up. They also find out how much Luke knows about America's ballparks as the TBTL Summer Games continue!

Therapist and TBTL Friendo Kirk Honda returns to the show for Day 4 of the TBTL Summer Games, in which we finally find out if Luke is ready to "open the doors of perception and get his Lizard King on."

Family therapist and TBTL Ten Dr. Kirk Honda joins the show to quiz Luke and Andrew and get a sense of their mental health. And Luke reminisces about the time he stormed out of couples therapy to prove a point. (Unfortunately, it was the wrong point.)

Andrew stumbles on a historic artifact that finally answers the question, "Do computers like gum?" Meanwhile, Luke has "a lot to say about Barry Corbin." Then the 2022 TBTL Summer Games continue with a handcrafted quiz challenging Luke and Andrew's spelling skills.

The TBTL Summer Games begin with a Summer Sound Quiz from Reverend Chris! Can Luke and Andrew identify a popular, trademarked brand using only their ears? There's only one way to find out! (It's by listening to this episode. That's the only way.)

Luke drops by the studios of Walsh, Walsh, and Doormat for a rare in-person installment of What's In The Box, where he and Andrew open letters and packages sent to the TBTL PO Box.

Luke had his first run-in with Stinking Willy yesterday, and he learned a few lessons. Meanwhile, Andrew picks a fight with the internet's favorite child. And Luke has a correction to make…but not an apology!

Luke and Andrew debate the advantages and disadvantages of duvets versus bedspreads, then they move on to discuss yesterday's historic Mariner's game. Plus, a listener's adventures at Lowe's teaches us all a valuable lesson. It's just unclear what that lesson is.

Luke goes full Rear Window as he watches dog poop drama unfold in the neighborhood outside his window. Plus, a cringy TikTok video/SNL audition tape draws the ire of the internet, which confuses Andrew, since everything is cringy to him.

Tens of Listeners step-up to help Luke and Andrew remember some details of TBTL's past. Plus, a French scientist sent out a funny tweet and now he's forced to pretend he did it for some educational purpose.

You've got questions, we have…answers? Sort of? Luke and Andrew go through letters from listeners who want to know the origins of jokes, audio drops, and other references regularly heard on TBTL

Andrew has been eating a lot of bologna lately, and no matter how hard he tries to avoid the topic, Luke insists on hearing the details. Luke also recalls the day he broke out of his own bedroom and got his socks all wet.

Luke reveals more details about his childhood dresser, which contained illicit football stickers and the rough-hewn lyrics of an '80's banger. He and Andrew also pay respects to Vin Scully and revel in the latest word salad from the Detroit Lions' head coach.

Pickle flavoring is really having a moment, but pickle-loving Luke isn't into it. He and Andrew also discuss the best and worst tools on a Swiss Army Knife.

TBTL Friendo and Fancy Hollywood Director Cat Solen hops on the show to explain why Muppets and puppets never break character on set. Plus, a big weekend project leaves Andrew more dim-witted than usual on a Monday. And Luke tries to figure out the difference between wingdings and webdings.

Luke immediately regrets his decision to sit in a massage chair in the middle of the Bismarck airport, although he did make a new friend while being publicly gyrated. Plus, a chain of chicken restaurants bought $100,000 worth of Mega Millions lottery tickets and intends to share the potential winnings with its employees.

Luke has a moral conundrum regarding his rental car in Bismarck, ND, and he reluctantly asks Andrew for advice. Plus, people in France are freaking out over a mustard shortage. And something peculiar has caught Luke's eye in a video of Julia Louis-Dreyfus on the set of Sesame Street.

Luke joins the show from the Olive Garden District of Bismarck, ND, where he's been unironically enjoying the bottomless breadsticks and salad. Plus, Andrew has a few things he needs to clear up about yesterday's "What's In The Box" segment. Meanwhile, the nation is in mourning over the death of the Choco Taco.

Luke joins the show from Bismarck, ND, where he's learning the lay of the land. Meanwhile, Andrew made his first trip to the new TBTL PO Box and found it overflowing with correspondence from Tens of Listeners.

Andrew is upset that his submission to the New Yorker cartoon caption contest didn't win after seeing the finalists. Speaking of the New Yorker, Luke is fascinated by a piece about the VW minibus, which was apparently somewhat inspired by something called "The Chicken Wars." Photo of VW minibus by OrangeChallenger, licensed under Creative Commons.

Luke does something really, really terrible during the show involving [trigger warning] coffee and mayonnaise. Plus, Dr. Oz's social media team continues to get completely roasted by his opponent's campaign. And Andrew tries to tackle the age-old question: What's worse, listening to someone talk about their dreams or listening to someone talk about their fantasy baseball team?

Luke has introduced spray bottles into his relationship with his cat, and it's changed everything. Plus, a woman earned a job interview after responding to a rejection letter with a goofy meme.

Andrew is working to change the way he talks to his cat -- and all pets in general. Plus, a minor league baseball GM gets a prostate exam while singing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame", although it's not entirely clear why. And Luke and Andrew try to figure out why they are completely uninterested in the Game of Thrones sequel.

Luke has thoughts on the new, buzzy Nathan Fielder show, The Rehearsal. He and Andrew also come up with a new segment idea for TBTL.

Luke just got back from Austin, where he gathered with friends to pay tribute to the late, great Drew McFrizz. Meanwhile, Andrew was almost denied an opportunity to clean a big mess in peace. Plus, something very interesting happened at an Omaha airport over the weekend.

The CEO of Costco has made it clear that the store will NOT be raising prices on its cheap hot dogs, even if it is a money-losing venture. This gives Andrew the opportunity to ask Luke a very important question about the way he consumes soda pop.

Andrew learns something shocking about his own past. And an article in the New York Times helps Luke understand how he became a pathological liar (JUST KIDDING).

Luke runs into some problems in his quest to reprint an Andre The Giant photo, and it's making Andrew feeling a little panicky. They also talk about the time Ray Kroc commandeered a stadium PA system to call his own ballplayers "stupid." And Andrew accidentally entered a humor contest while on the toilet.

Luke returns to the bar that has his favorite, mysterious Andre The Giant photo hanging on the wall, and he asks the owner if he can borrow it. Plus, a stolen Olympic medal is discovered in an old McDonald's bag. And Andrew is excited that TBTL finally has a P.O. Box!

Luke has finally found true happiness, and he has video to prove it. Plus, a listener sheds some important light on Luke's recent adventures at The Home Depot. And a drunk newscaster gives it her all in Albany.

Luke joins the show from Port Townsend, where he's falling in love with the small maritime village all over again. Meanwhile, Andrew (and his camera) got teased on the bus recently. And two Oregon cities are battling over a claim to "the world's smallest park."

Andrew does some old-fashioned, shoe-leather reporting at his local Subway shop to find out what's really going on with the restaurant's menu changes. He and Luke also offer a somewhat delayed review of No Country For Old Men. And they discuss the rise of "GentleMinions", who are disrupting screenings of the new Minions movie.

Andrew is very agitated about upcoming changes to the sandwich menu at Subway. Luke had a real scare with his cat, Bubbles, this morning. And a listener needs help navigating a small-ish issue with his neighbor.

Luke and Andrew began their 4th of July Weekend hoping to get a lawnmower and a dog, respectively. Today they report back on their adventures.

Luke's attempts to get his hands on a lawnmower continue throughout the show, as he receives many updates and mixed messages from hardware stores around the Pacific Northwest. Plus, the internet is desperately trying to find the woman who won almost all the cooking prizes at a Virginia-Kentucky district fair.

Andrew's dog-ological clock is ticking again, Luke runs into issues buying a new lawnmower, and the Marsupial Gurgle website is entering a new phase of life.

Bubbles the Cat got up to a lot of trouble in Luke's studio yesterday, almost completely sabotaging today's show. Plus, employees at Medieval Times want to unionize, Bed, Bath and Beyond stores may be cutting air conditioning to save money, and AirBNB says "no more parties!"

Andrew went to the dump yesterday, where he hoped to avoid getting "hollered at." Results were mixed. Plus, Luke is in email hell. And a drunk man in Japan lost a thumb drive containing personal and banking information of a half a million people. Photo of Shoreline Transfer Station art by Martin Auad via Creative Commons license. The photo in the transfer station is called Terra Firma by photographer Steve McGehee.

Andrew's War On Blackberries leads to an encounter with a new neighbor. Luke almost struck a deal with the world's sketchiest electrician. And a listener shares an incredibly cringy story from the workplace.