TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke spent the day wearing a Spanx shirt, and he thinks it's affecting his podcasting performance. He joins Andrew in Seattle to talk about huge hotel chains ditching housekeeping services and trying to sell it as a bonus for their guests.

Luke and Andrew use today's show to reinvent the podcasting format as only they and/or the British Bulldogs know how. They also check-in on the ol' TBTL voicemail line, where Tens of listeners have shared stories of near nudity, fake voices and corned beef hash.

Luke encountered a smell yesterday that he likens to "the sulfurs of hell", and now he needs some advice.

Luke has a Pants Update™, and he found some really cool archived audio he wants to share.

Luke overheard the most charming conversation over an Italian dinner last night. He and Andrew also get personal and compare their tax portals. And listeners inspired by Monday's coffin-talk share their own stories of cremation and burial-gone-wrong.

Luke finds himself in a literal nightmare scenario when he gets locked out of his hotel room wearing next to nothing.

Luke is still in Southern California, where he is passing on an opportunity to broadcast from inside a casket. And Andrew is upsetting Alicia Keys fans with Instagram polls about Katy Perry.

Luke is stuck in the place next to The Happiest Place On Earth, and he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to leave.

Luke joins the show from Anaheim, in a hotel filled with stressed-out parents trying to make their children's Disneyland dreams come true. He and Andrew also have updates on missing dogs, notes left on cars, tattoos on lips, and the shirt Luke was trying to return to an online retailer.

A lawsuit over "boneless chicken wings" leads Andrew to take an unusually strong stance in defense of city council meetings.

Luke finally had the chance to meet The Most Interesting Neighbor In The World. He also stumbled on some characters from TikTok whom he's now obsessed with…and you will be, too!

A controversial Wordle answer over the weekend leads to a surprisingly in-depth conversation about the '80s sitcom Family Ties. Plus, the Academy really did the Oscars right last night.

A scared dog is loose in Andrew's neighborhood, and he and Luke want to help get her back to her family. Plus, Americans are shocked - SHOCKED - by something the Bidens did at dinner last week.

Andrew finally comes clean about a shameful secret he's been carrying around for weeks. He and Luke also compare and contrast their college bathroom experiences.

Luke and Andrew are fascinated to realize that Luke's recent experience with a customer service representative might have actually been a conversation with an A.I. chatbot. [unicorn mind explosion emoji!] Plus, Luke is not happy about an accusation regarding his choice of hotel during a work trip.

The New York Times says many people don't want to date men with podcasts. Luke and Andrew have a podcast. Plus, a new Girl Scout cookie is selling at ludicrous prices on the secondary market.

Luke and Andrew finally discuss the Top Stories that they promised last week, from "whisky fungus" in Tennessee to temporary tattoos that aren't so temporary. Plus, how do you celebrate a cat's birthday?

Luke's attempts to dress up like a shepherd hit a snag. He also has some regrets about the note that he left on the windshield of a Ford something-or-other earlier this week.

The person who returned Lady Gaga's stolen dogs says the singer isn't respecting the "no questions asked" part of the reward agreement. Plus, Luke and Andrew break down the lyrics to Huey Lewis' "The Power of Love" in order to find deeper meaning in the song.

Luke and Andrew stumble on an honest-to-gosh mystery outside Luke's apartment window. So they do what any good podcasters do: They get involved.

Woody Harrelson dropped an anti-vax joke during his SNL monologue, but his views seem more complicated, overall. Plus, Howard Schultz is adding olive oil to some Starbucks drinks. Could this really just be the whim of a coffee aficionado?

After a nice weekend at an Oregon cabin, Luke has some lingering frustrations about the state of AirBNB rules. Meanwhile, Andrew considers a four-day darkness retreat after an embarrassing night in his rumpus room.

A heavy snowstorm almost prevented Luke from getting to New York, but he did get to spend a lot of quality time on the tarmac!

Luke trolls Andrew hard over Wordle and tries to ruin his Wordle-based relationships. Plus, Luke has some mail drama in his apartment building.

Luke and Andrew agonize over part of yesterday's show that hit the cutting room floor. Plus, United Airlines is going to start allowing parents to sit by their children without paying extra fees, and a proposed law would prohibit dogs from sticking their heads out car windows!

Andrew is on a ridiculous mission involving his favorite podcast and his relationship with it. Plus, liquor board officials in Oregon have been grifting the public out of the most sought-after bottles of whiskey.

Luke and Andrew dig into the history of Presidents' Day with a little help from the New York Times.

The federal government is trying to crack down on "funny" road safety signs, like the one in New Jersey that says, "We'll be blunt. Don't drive high."

Luke and Andrew discover that they were BOTH coincidentally at roller rinks last night, although Andrew was more focused on a Simpsons arcade game than roller skating. Plus, a donut shop owner in Conway, New Hampshire, is fighting with the town over his new mural, which may actually be a sign, not a mural (but he insists it's a mural.)

Luke's got a gripe about the folks using the free coffee machine in his building, and he's got a new rule for jewelry shops. Plus, data shows that someone crashes their car into a 7-11 store about once a day. That seems like a lot.

The TBTL Hive Mind jumps in to correct the record on a mis-identified audio drop featuring Kristen Schaal, making at least one listener very nervous. Plus, Burger King's newish jingle is the Song Of The Winter.

Luke enjoyed a wonderful Super Bowl Sunday, thanks to some bonkers bets that panned out for him. He and Andrew also look at the best and worst commercials that aired during the game. And a listener blows their dang minds with a gentle correction about a favorite audio drop.

A $150 cup of coffee has Luke reconsidering his relationship with the beverage. Andrew is waiting to see if the local sports station will read his text on the air. And Luke found himself in a "Pay It Backwards" situation recently in a Starbucks drive-thru.

Joe Biden used an idiom during his State of the Union speech that has left a lot of people confused. Turns out, he's been using it for years, and NPR is on the case. Plus, Luke and Andrew go down a sandwich memory lane.

Andrew tries to help Luke decide what to do with his accidental collection of casino chips. Plus, LeBron James broke a historic record last night, which unearthed some fond basketball memories for Luke.

Luke clears up some details regarding yesterday's water rescue story. Meanwhile, Andrew is hot under the collar about a new policy at AMC theaters. The comedian at the beginning of today's show is Brooks Wheelan.

Luke received a very surprising and pretty upsetting letter from his neighbor over the weekend. He and Andrew also found themselves protected from a menace by a hero bartender in Portland on Friday. And the Goonies house is in the news again?!

Luke's cat is fulfilling a secret New Years resolution, and Andrew had a realization about TBTL while listening to the AM radio yesterday. Plus, Netflix's plans to crack down on password sharing are starting to take shape.

Luke tells a fascinating coming-of-age story from his past that Andrew might be a little too interested in. They also discuss a new, in-depth article about Taco Time, the fast food restaurant that presents a great divide in the Pacific Northwest. Taco Time photo by Dolan Halbrook, licensed under Creative Commons.

Luke and Andrew look back at the plethora of stars who tried out for roles on The Office, and they learn an important lesson about creative feedback. Plus, a tech bro is spending two million dollars a year to reverse the aging process, and comedian Nate Bargetzie is experiencing the aging process similarly to Luke.

Luke does his best to corrupt a minor while placing bets at a basketball game. Andrew can't tell the difference between Bill Hader, Will Forte, and Jason Sudeikis. And a Seattle band says they got fired from a gig at an Amazon-owned arena after singing lyrics that made fun of Jeff Bezos.

Instagram removed one of Luke's photos, and he thinks the Illuminati is involved. Andrew learns that "The Chocolate Cough" isn't a universal phenomenon. And neighbors in Astoria, WA, are dealing with some major Goonies-related drama.

Luke's trip to San Francisco was bonkers, and Andrew's latest experiment with internet stalking pays off. Plus, they finally talk about this week's Trader Joe's news, then immediately regret it.

Luke has a close call at the barber shop, and Andrew tries to complete an important task during the show. They also spend some time offering long-overdue praise for Google Maps.

Luke helps Andrew with a home improvement conundrum. Plus, a high school journalist in Massachusetts breaks the story that her school's lights can't be turned off and have been burning non-stop for years.

The M&Ms marketing team claims it's getting rid of it's cartoon spokescandies and replacing them with Maya Rudolf, which sounds good, but Andrew's irritated by the whole thing. Plus ,a garbage truck knocked over Luke's anchor! (Also, Luke has an anchor.)

Luke finished watching the second season of The White Lotus, so he and Andrew compare notes (with plenty of spoiler alerts, don't worry.) Plus, the expensive Star Wars hotel may have overestimated the public's desire to pay $5000 to sleep on a fake spaceship.

Andrew visited his Eagles club yesterday to try to clean something that he's dubbed "Murder Stain," and Luke has $30 worth of pull tabs with bad advice and bad jokes he'd like to share.

Luke just realized that two characters in two different TV shows are played by the same actor, and it's blowing his mind. Plus, pizza boxes haven't changed since the 1960s, and one pizza advocate thinks they should.

Luke made an unannounced appearance on his neighbor's porch yesterday, but don't worry, he also acted totally weird.