TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke, Andrew and Jon consider a moral quandary involving dog poop, a garbage can, and a coffee shop in Portland. They also discuss some bad decisions made by bar patrons in Milwaukee, new theories on the JFK assassination, and an email that might have *looked* like it came from TBTL, but actually didn't.

Renting a car should not be difficult, but somehow Andrew turned it into the biggest drama of his summer. Also, Luke almost got hit by a bus today, and Bubbles the cat is in big trouble.

Luke and Andrew report back after the TBTL Summer Games to talk about Luke's brand new studio, Andrew's aversion to anti-baldness campaigns, and an ungodly "biohazard incident" on a Delta airlines flight.

Andrew tries desperately to remember a Gloria Estefan video of his youth, while Luke tries to recapture the excitement of his early days in radio. They also try to figure out who's who in the worlds of hip-hop and WWE wrestling as the TBTL Summer Games come to a close.

Andrew is on a Mediterranean diet, which just means he ate a bunch of hummus for lunch. He and Luke also try to solve a bible-related mystery that's been dogging Andrew for years. They also test their Spanish in a quiz based on the Tour de France as the TBTL Summer Games roll on.

Luke has become a Binocular Boy™ and is ready for everything that comes along with that title. Andrew decides to throw out the script for the TBTL Summer Games and try something wildly stupider instead.

Andrew met a bunch of neighbors over the weekend, including the TBTL listener he had been looking for! Luke apologizes for not being a better Instagram friend. And the TBTL Summer Games roll on with more movie mischief.

Luke gets swept up in a journalistic enterprise involving his former employer, Blimpy's Yogurt. He and Andrew also continue playing one of their favorite Summer Games based on their own bad descriptions of Hollywood Films.

Luke's computer is on the fritz and ready to bring down the entire Too Beautiful To Biz empire. Plus, in today's edition of the TBTL Summer Games, Luke and Andrew have to eat their own words as they try to figure out which movies they were trying to describe in previous episodes of the podcast.

Andrew tells the story of when he was very relieved to reconnect with his friend from high school art class, and Luke talks about the time he found himself in the "Missed Connections" section of the newspaper. They also finally find out, once and for all, if Vanderpump actually rules in day 4 of the TBTL Summer Games.

Luke challenges Andrew's status as the Popsicle King Of TBTL. Andrew also continues to struggle with the Vanderpumps and all their rules as the TBTL Summer Games roll on.

Luke has some BIG SALAD PLANS tonight, and he is very excited about them. Plus, listener Laura is back with another amazing Summer Games quiz about reality television.

Andrew has some fundamental questions about sports and betting and those little bumps on the outside of a basketball. He and Luke also kick off this year's TBTL Summer Games with a quiz about two very boastful human beings.

Luke and Andrew both had pleasant but unexpected transportation-related adventures yesterday. They also discuss the best and worst Subway restaurants in their neighborhoods. And it turns out Netflix DVD subscribers can keep the discs after all? It's all so confusing, Ron.

The pulp mill that created the "Aroma of Tacoma" is shutting down. Does that mean a smelly factory is heading to Luke's neck of the woods? Plus, Luke introduces Andrew to pencil fighting.

Luke literally painted himself into a corner this morning. Like, literally. Andrew relives a painful memory from his time at The Magic Castle. Plus, "National Cinema Day" is around the corner, so Andrew asks Luke for his official Barbie review.

Luke stumbles on a clip of network television from 1983 that might be the pinnacle of broadcasting. Plus, the scammer behind the ill-fated Fyre Festival is back with a new idea, called Fyre Festival II. And Luke relives his days playing little league baseball.

Luke spent a dreamy weekend looking at model houses and stocking up on razor blades at Costco. Andrew spent his hard-earned Andy Timez cutting deep into his hedgerow. And Netflix is confusing the heck out of its customers as it ends its DVD-mailing service.

Luke and Andrew are shocked to learn that two of the Top Stories they covered this week were heard by the folks involved in the stories. They also listen to one of the most charming moments in recent broadcast history.

Andrew's nightly puttering routine may be getting out of hand, and Luke has some issues with an overly complicated coffee machine. Plus, scientists recreate a Pink Floyd song by listening to human brainwaves. And a driverless car does the most driverless car thing ever.

Luke stumbled on the Sale Of The Century, and it's helping him survive the sweltering heat. Plus, Pooper Trooper sued Scoop Troop, but then Scoop Troop changed its name to Swoop Scoop, and now everything is fine in the local dog poop industry.

Luke has a hornet problem and maybe a bear problem, too? Andrew has a problem with people parking in bus lanes. And listener Dani had a bat in her belfry, and now she needs shots.

Luke and Andrew review some reader-submitted "Rants and Raves" in the Seattle Times and try to figure out why a rich teenager in New York City has declared war on a fancy hotel. They also learn that Andy Rooney was apparently a huge fan of TBTL.

Luke's new house is fully under construction this morning, but things are going well. Andrew has been spending a lot of time eating lunch on Aurora Avenue and offers TBTL listeners a much-too-detailed report. Plus, it looks like this driverless taxi thing is really happening in San Francisco.

Luke and Andrew have to call Genevieve at work to help them sort out a Jack Ryan vs Jack Reacher situation. Plus, the New York Times finally publishes the Venmo story Luke's been waiting for, but the Gray Lady drops the ball on a story about "skiplagging."

American broadcasters are uniting behind a baseball announcer who was unfairly suspended in Baltimore. Plus, TBTL Employee Numero Uno stops by for an update on the "I Saved TBTL Coins."

Luke learns that a simple mop is the solution to many of life's problems. Plus, a rudely-parked boat leads to a huge brawl and maybe even a cultural revolution.

Luke moved into his new, almost-unlivable house this weekend and has a lot of thoughts on a lot of things.

Luke is moving this weekend, and he's made a new enemy in the process: packing tape. Plus, Andrew's role has changed for tomorrow's big summer party.

Luke and Andrew analyze the lyrics to a Moira Rose original work. They also do a little online shopping for Judy Tenuta t-shirts and listen to chef José Andrés describe his love for peeled strawberries. And Luke is now one tiny degree of separation from one of his internet heroes.

Luke and Andrew look back at the wonderful time they had at Saturday's live show in Seattle, although they later realized the bidet-sized mistake they made on stage. They also mourn the loss of Paul Reubens, who died this week.

Luke and Andrew and their special guests gather with Tens of Listeners for the 4000th episode of TBTL, live at the Neptune Theater in Seattle!

Luke and Andrew attempt to rent a U-Haul truck and drive to Luke's parent's house to pick-up hundreds of TBTL lunchboxes before their big 4000th episode at the Neptune Theater.

Luke is obsessed with a weird TikTok song, and he is determined to make you obsessed with it, too. He and Andrew also open the ol' P.O. Box to see what Tens of Listeners have sent to TBTL lately.

A stressed-out Andrew tells a tale of underwear and phone charging cables that is as regrettable as it is long. He and a sun-crisped Luke also discuss the life and fighting spirit of Sinead O'Conner, who passed away much too soon and much too misunderstood.

Luke and Andrew have important sartorial questions about their upcoming live show in Seattle. Plus, the New York Times tells the fascinating tale of a drug-loving dog walker who may (or may not) own a valuable painting.

Genevieve joins the show to offer real guidance to real listeners, just like her favorite advice columnists. Plus, Andrew remembers something stupid he might have said, and a listener takes umbrage with a patented TBTL Warm Take.

Luke just made a big life decision, then he locked himself out of his apartment with nothing but a box of Loaded Tater Tots. Plus, Andrew is confused by a scene from a 4-year old TV show, and for some reason he thinks it's worth talking about on the podcast. And a listener offers insight into why people like Luke are suddenly paying more for Netflix.

Luke was starstruck yesterday when he met NBA star Damion Lillard during a Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me taping. And so was everyone else! Plus, a Canadian court rules that an emoji can be considered a legally binding contract agreement.

Luke had a revelation this morning when he went jogging through the woods with a group of friends. Andrew reveals his burgeoning "hoop dreams." And the people who run NBC Universal in Los Angeles trimmed the trees outside their building, exposing striking writers and actors to the blazing hot sun while they picket.

Luke and Andrew debate the merits of a Barbieheimer day vs. an Oppenbarbie day, as two huge summer movies are released in tandem this weekend. Plus, everyone's favorite California burger chain is forbidding its employees from wearing facemasks at work.

The airlines are trying to crack down on a practice known as "skiplagging," and Luke and Andrew are trying to crack down on these dang airlines! They also discuss recent shenanigans at Miranda Lambert and Bryan Adams concerts and how the artists reacted to each.

Andrew learns that he was supposed to hang out with Luke this weekend when Luke doesn't show up. We also get an important update about Santa Cruz's most infamous sea otter. And listener Jen shares her grandmother's foolproof way of protecting children against errant baseballs.

Luke's mission to get his "brush hogged" has hit a snag, Hollywood's actors go on strike, and a tiny dotted line that appears for a split second in the new Barbie movie has serious geopolitical implications.

Andrew tries to stage a tepid mutiny of the podcast. Luke learns first-hand that his favorite punter has gotten swole. And new e-waste regulations are standing in the way of people who want to recreate their favorite scene from Office Space.

Luke's warnings about kids getting hit by baseballs during the Home Run Derby turn out to be accurate, much to Andrew's chagrin. Plus, wildlife authorities are trying to capture a surfing sea otter accused of hijacking surfboards in Santa Cruz.

Luke had a wild experience last night MCing a record-breaking drag show, even though he has some major regrets about his sartorial choices. And Andrew's been enjoying his MLB All Star activities, although he's unsurprisingly focussed mostly on the mascots.

Luke and Andrew are back at it after last week's TBTL-a-Thon! They discuss how the 'thon went, and they review the very specific rules Luke must follow when taking part in an event aimed at breaking a Guinness World Record tonight. PLUS! They get a very intriguing voicemail from a listener with a personal connection to one of Luke's most embarrassing moments.

The final day of the TBTL-a-Thon is a family affair, with Genevieve checking in on the "Mom Mic" and Luke trying to keep his parents from getting a divorce. Please support TBTL during this critical time by making a donation here!

Luke's mom pops into the basement to see how the TBTL-a-Thon is going and to tell Luke and Andrew about her adventures at the dentist's office yesterday. Plus, Luke finds a new social media app to fill the Twitter-shaped hole in his life. Please support TBTL during this critical time by making a donation here!