TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Those number crunchers over at WordfinderX claim that more people are cheating at Wordle than ever before. Luke and Andrew discuss this, and then they try to figure out the Greek Alphabet in a segment that will haunt TBTL listeners for decades to come. ("Deca" means "ten!")

Andrew thought he had the PERFECT content to bring to TBTL today, but his plans hit a very large practical snag. Plus, Luke has been enjoying the new Kanye documentary as well as a much heavier doc called The Other Side. And Luke and Andrew call a motivational voicemail line created by kids for kids.

It's been almost a full week since the internet produced a video so cringy it made us want to burn the whole thing down. But luckily, our long wait is over thanks to the musical stylings (and NFT enthusiasm) of Mark Zuckerberg's sister, Randi.

Things finally get good about 90 minutes into today's podcast when Andrew plays archival tape of Paul Simon explaining how he wrote "Bridge Over Troubled Water." Plus, Pat Sajak is surprisingly funny on Twitter, where he's also standing up for the contestants who embarrassed themselves on Wheel Of Fortune this week.

Luke and Andrew clench their way through the most frustrating 4 minutes in the history of Wheel of Fortune. Plus, a new Disney Star Wars resort is getting bad reviews, but it still seems like a good place to get tight on space booze.

Some pretty big things are happening in Andrew's life, which of course Luke views as a victory for himself. Plus, some states are outlawing "Russian" vodka, although their efforts might be misguided.

Luke and Andrew once again turn their attention to the Seattle Times' Rants and Raves column, where one contributor is putting the whole R&R system on trial. Plus, Luke talked to someone involved with the crime scene he witnessed from his window last week, and their story is jaw-dropping.

A major crime scene is unfolding outside Luke's window, and he's determined to find out what's going on. Plus, what happens when your watch is a phone, but then it stops being a phone? And a thicc bear accused of making some trouble in Tahoe has been getting a bad rap.

Luke and Andrew receive an exciting invitation to a public radio partnership; Their only concern is creating something that is TOO good. Plus, a bizarre promotional video starring celebrities of yesteryear leads to some shocking revelations about Rednex, the Swedish(!) band behind Cotton Eye Joe.

A comedian is catching some flack for making fun of Ted Lasso fans on Twitter, and Matt Stafford (sort of?) apologizes for his response to a photographer's nasty fall off of a stage right in front of him. And another young TBTL listener is using the voicemail line to workshop some jokes.

Andrew joins the show from his hometown of Cleveland, Ohio, where he's doing his best to keep his composure in the face of some (minor) technical issues. Meanwhile, back in Washington, sea lions are under attack in the "Rants and Raves" section of the Seattle Times.

Luke and Andrew have every intention of tackling a special Presidents' Day quiz, but things go off the rails when a listener sends them a clue to the latest TBTL mystery.

An exhaustive investigation into Norm's bar tab on Cheers leads to an episode of TBTL that any podcast consultant would love: long, rambly, and with a LOT of questionable math.

Luke finally reaches out to England to find out whether his new favorite dog has been adopted yet or what! Plus, Matthew Stafford watches a photographer fall off a tall stage and just walks away, raising some questions about how he regards the people around him.

Luke and Andrew are loving the new Netflix show Murderville. Also, CBS has an ingeniously evil way of promoting its new procedurals. And there's a reason Luke and Andrew are afraid of hotel telephones. (Open tape via @MaxAndIvan on Twitter.)

Luke is cooking up a possible TBTL adventure involving international travel and a canine namesake. Andrew is trying to solve a TBTL mystery involving a decades-old gubernatorial race in Tennessee. And that Nicole Kidman commercial showing in AMC theaters apparently has a cult following.

Luke finds himself deeper in the Marvel Comics universe than he ever imagined, but he's still more of an Archie Comics kind of guy. He and Andrew also review yesterday's Super Bowl Halftime show and a commercial that was so good it was actually bad.

Luke finds himself in a Twitter beef with one of public radio's biggest stars. Plus, the largest asset seizure in US history also shined a spotlight on an unlikely (and ill advised) rap career.

Luke learns the one question he's not allowed to ask Amy Poehler when he interviews her. And now he wants to ask it, of course. Plus, a weird glitch is forcing some Mazda owners in Seattle to listen to public radio.

Listeners help Luke and Andrew solve two TBTL mysteries and help them find a long lost audio drop. Also, Leslie Jones has been the best part of Olympic coverage so far, but her commentaries have been getting pulled from social media because NBC is dumb.

Did you know that the Olympics are happening right now? It's true! But nobody seems to be watching. Plus, some PNW Orcas are bringing back a fish fad from the 1980s, and Joe Rogan still has his Spotify podcast, to Luke's surprise.

Luke digs through a mountain of emails from listeners trying to help him find his "Mystery Song." And Andrew spent a full day at the movies, expanding his horizons.

Luke is falling in love with the absolute weirdness of Montana Public Radio. Plus, Minnesota has some of the best snow plow names, but the schoolchildren of Vermont are offering some competition.

Luke may be trapped in a cabin in snowy Montana, and Andrew's working on something that's not funny enough to be stand-up material and not interesting enough to be a monolog. Plus the Washington Football Team announces a new name that is somehow less interesting than "The Washington Football Team."

The kid who "wrote a book" and hid it in a library is getting more and more attention, and the volume now has a waiting list of several years. Andrew remains unimpressed. Meanwhile, Luke is still trying to figure out why a piano tune on TikTok sounds so familiar to him.

The New York Times bought Wordle, a hapless cruise ship scrubbed a satellite launch, and Luke wants to live like a Seattle tech bro. Plus, Tens of listeners help Luke try to identify a piano song he heard on TikTok.

Luke stumbled on a clip of someone playing the piano recently, and he needs YOUR HELP identifying the tune. Plus, Spotify's solution to the Joe Rogan misinformation problem is…lacking.

Andrew opens up and tells Luke about one of his weirder habits, though some things should probably remain private. They also discuss eggs (they're legit kind of weird, right?), and Andrew sucks all the fun out of a cute story about a kid in a library.

Luke is obsessed with some cleaning-related videos he's found on YouTube…but they aren't cleaning what you think (I promise.) And it turns out HBO might actually be TV after all!

Luke made a spontaneous gesture a few nights ago, and now he's a bit worried about the repercussions. Speaking of repercussions, Luke also stole Paris Hilton's NFT, and now he's waiting to see what happens. Meanwhile, Andrew remains a very good boy.

Luke finally filled-out his 2022 calendar this morning and he is FEELING GOOD. Plus, a woman found out she actually won millions of dollars when she checked her spam folder. (Aren't we not supposed to click on those emails?)

Andrew is auditioning new Tonight Pants, Luke learns The Truth about JNCO jeans, and the orange M&M guy is going to start tying his shoes already.

Luke and Andrew pay tribute to the late Louie Anderson and listen back to his greatest gambling story. Plus, the news anchor who showed little empathy when his colleague was hit by a car on live TV is trying to convince the world that he is a human with real feelings. Luke and Andrew travel back in TBTL history to find out if Luke displayed any empathy when Andrew was once injured on the job.

Luke and Andrew give Genevieve a call so she can describe the TERRIBLE movie trailer she saw this weekend (Sorry, Owen Wilson.) Plus, Luke is delighted by a couple of pieces of audio he stumbled on recently, including sound of a reporter who got hit by a car live on TV. And Andrew comes up with a great new catch phrase…but then forgets it immediately :(

Luke has a big tattoo decision to make, and he's only got 3 hours to figure it out. Plus, Andrew's been watching some weird stuff with his new screen projector. And a listener has some powerful new intel on a theater promotional tool from 2003 that has loomed large in Andrew's relationship.

Luke and Andrew have about 40 minutes worth of observations and questions about the "Comedy" section of Cameo. They also discuss the story of a couple vandals who ended up getting caught because they didn't tip a bartender.

Luke and Andrew embarrass themselves by trying to answer the Jeopardy! questions that the show's current champion got wrong. They also finally find their niche in the vast world of podcasting.

Luke and Andrew discuss their aversions to sharing food, even if it's a "bass drum full of popcorn." Plus, listener Tim shares his amazing tale of high school truancy and his road to eventual redemption.

Luke and Andrew hop on the Wordle craze that is taking the internet by storm. Plus, Andrew is getting plagued by spam phone calls and he doesn't know what to do about it.

Luke is calling Day 3 of his at-home isolation "Home Alone 3", a designation that Andrew has some issues with. They also discuss Steve Inskeep's NPR interview with Donald Trump, and they pay tribute to Cambodia's "Hero Rat" who recently passed away.

TBTL Friendo Chris Hayes (also known for his work on MSNBC and the Why Is This Happening podcast) joins Luke and Andrew to geek out about the new Beatles documentary, Get Back. Plus, an anonymous listener finds a odoriferous way to get people to wear their masks properly.

Luke gets some bummer news on his latest COVID test, but he's planning on making the most of his downtime this week. Plus, after Bob Saget passed away this weekend, it seems that everyone can agree on one thing: He really was a hell of a good guy.

Luke and Camaro Kev join the show from Las Vegas, where they plan on visiting the hottest Taco Bell nightclub in the world (once Kevin gets his CPAP working.)

Luke and Andrew overcome great technological adversity to produce today's episode of TBTL, in which they eventually discuss Luke's ill-advised homemade Neti pot and Andrew's misguided attempts to turn his studio into an Andy Warhol-like party room.

Luke and Andrew look to the future of their favorite football teams after very disappointing seasons by the Seahawks and Browns. Will either team start next year with their current quarterbacks? They hope so.

Luke and Andrew find themselves at opposite ends of a cultural divide in the ongoing "War On Oldies." Plus, Luke learns about an ill-named mountain in Oregon that he thinks could, respectfully, use a rebranding.

Luke had to embark on an Ocean's Eleven-esque heist in order to get an audio recording into the proper hands yesterday. Plus, a concerned hockey fan may have saved a coach's life after spotting a dangerous looking mole from afar.

Luke and Andrew kick-off the new year by opening up a bunch of holiday cards from the Tens of Listeners and taking a couple of phone calls from old friends. They also discuss Don't Look Up, the movie everyone seemed to be talking about over the winter break.

Luke and Andrew end the year as they began it…by not getting to any of the topics they promised to cover. But they DO solve a couple of mysteries, including one involving some Burbank Family Drama going back decades.

Some songs go "lalala". Some songs go "nanana." And that, my friends, is the basis of today's TBTL Winter Game!