Tapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT

Many of my clients would identify as the 'black sheep' of their families or communities. Because they moved to the beat of their own drums, they were usually out of step with everyone else. This can be particularly difficult for youngsters to handle because it felt unsafe to express their true selves. In order to survive, it's human nature to develop tricks, tools, and techniques to get by. At the time they were the best (and often the only) way to get through those difficult times, but the tools that were helpful as children are not necessarily helpful as adults. The problem is that when we use certain tools and tactics for so long, they become ingrained and habitual. In this audio we talk about how to let go of these old tools in favour of new and better ways to manage our lives. In addition to the instruction in this podcast, there is a tap-along audio. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Support the podcast! One of my clients recently asked me, "What is the endgame to this tapping thing?" What he meant by the question is besides the constant improvement of our lives (which is no small thing), where does tapping lead us? What is the final goal? We usually think that we tap to feel better, and of course this is true, but there's more to it than just feeling better. In my mind, we tap for two main reasons. How we tap is impacted by these reasons and each has its own tapping approach. In this audio I explain the two reasons and how to best tap for them. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

There is no shortage of pain or struggle in the world. Because of this, at any given moment any number of our loved ones can be suffering in big and small ways. When our loved ones are in pain, we really want to ease their burden, but just because that is our intention doesn't mean that there are tangible actions we can take to be helpful. In this week's podcast I have a simple tap-along and script that you can use when your loved ones are struggling. I am not naive enough to believe that tapping for a struggling loved one will completely transform their world. I do know that if I take a few moments to tap for them, I will be more present to their difficulties, meaning I will be more thoughtful in the moment in how I respond. ALSO, I believe that spending a few moments thinking loving thoughts for a friend in pain is a good investment of my time. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

How we end a tapping session is sometimes more important than how we begin it. At the beginning it is most important that we simply start tapping. With each successive round of tapping, we gain clarity about the issue at hand and where we should focus our efforts. For me, there are two goals for the last little bit of tapping at the end of a session. First, I often feel a little groggy and fuzzy brained when I've been tapping for a while, which makes sense as tapping often releases a lot of stored emotion and memories. It is important that I'm able to return to my day feeling calm and grounded. Second, even though we have stopped tapping doesn't mean the process of healing and transformation has ended. The new thoughts and beliefs we've connected with are still integrating even after the tapping stops. At the end of the session, I find it useful to remind myself that the process of healing and transformation will continue after a session. This recognition encourages me to come back and tap again and again. By taking a few minutes to tap in this way, we can get the most out of our tapping sessions and also set ourselves up for success after the session. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

On October 20th I received the sad news that Dr. Pat Carrington had passed away the day before at the age of 95. In the tapping world Pat was best known for creating the Choices Method and was one of the Founding EFT Masters. On a personal level, she was an amazing champion of my work and I know I wouldn't have the career that I have today if it weren't for her public support. When someone we love and care about dies, it is emotionally hard. It is natural to feel grief and loss, but sometimes these emotions can be too much. This week I have for you a tap-along audio and tapping script to help in times of grief and loss. Learn more about Dr. Carrington's life and work You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! [player] Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Today it is commonly acknowledged that cultivating a sense of gratitude can be a powerful tool for helping us to live better and emotionally healthier lives. So much so that I even have clients who try to find their way to feeling a sense of gratitude when struggling with an emotional issue. My clients regularly tell me things like, "I spent some time this morning doing gratitude exercises to try to change my mindset." Unfortunately, simply saying that you feel thankful is not enough to turn around an emotional issue. In this week's podcast I share with you the difference between the feelings of gratitude and poverty. When I use the word "poverty" in this context I'm not talking specifically about a lack of money, but rather feeling like we don't have enough of anything. We can feel a poverty of support, opportunity, love, health, or just about anything else. When we understand the difference between the emotions of gratitude and poverty, we can use this understanding in our personal transformation work. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

On any given day there are more than a dozen stories in the news about what is happening to the Earth's environment. On one level it is good that we are better informed about what is going on in the world and how our choices impact our environment. But on another level it can feel overwhelming because the problem is so vast. When we don't see how we can make a difference, it is easy to become discouraged and hopeless. Even though the problem is big and the solutions are hard to come by, it doesn't mean it is hopeless. Here is the tapping I do to feel hopeful and encouraged to take whatever actions I can take. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

One of the most powerful tools in my own learning as a practitioner has been listening to other practitioners working with real clients on real issues. It is a great chance to see how a skilled practitioner takes concepts I understand intellectually and apply them in real world situations. In this unique audio you have the opportunity to hear me working one-on-one with a real client. As well as hearing me tap with my client, you'll hear my additional commentary explaining my choices and my thought process in the moment. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

For me, loneliness is one of the toughest emotions. The sense of disconnection that comes with feeling lonely almost feels like we are losing touch with our own humanity. That swirling black hole of emotion seems to keep pulling us in ever deeper. One of the hardest parts of loneliness is feeling it even when we are surrounded by others. Here is the tapping that I do when I feel lonely. You can find the full tapping script of this audio in pdf form over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

It is no fun when we feel hurt by what someone else says or does. In many cases these hurtful words or actions are unintentional, and others may be completely unaware that they have hurt us. Even though it wasn't their intention to cause us pain, we feel hurt nonetheless. In this podcast we explore the best way to respond when we are hurt by the words or actions of others. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Sometimes it's hard to know where to start tapping on an issue. We know tapping will help. We know that we just need to start. But we don't quite know where to start. Our emotions feel like a knotty, tangled up necklace, with no obvious place to begin. In this week's audio I have the perfect way to start tapping for an issue when you don't know where to begin. It's particularly useful for helping us to tap when we are feeling stuck about taking action. I encourage you to listen to find out how to tap for: The nature of fear Not needing to be perfect Clearing the emotions around the situation so that you can work towards uncovering root causes The beautiful thing about this process is that after you listen to it just once, you will be able to use it any time you sit down to tap. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Tapping is a powerful tool that can be used to clear a huge range of issues, even those that have plagued us for years. Starting to make better choices feels great and allows positive change to seep into every part of our daily lives. At a certain point we almost forget about the issue because it seems like a distant memory. But then: WHAM! Out of nowhere we are right back in the middle of the old issue, emotions, or belief. We feel bad because of what we are experiencing AND we feel bad because we feel we've failed by falling back into our old behavior. That happened to me recently. Something I thought I had cleared snuck back up on me. In this audio I share how that can happen and what we can do to respond to backsliding on issues we thought we had cleared for good. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

I pride myself on being a thoughtful and helpful person. I like to believe that I am good at living up to my commitments. Most of the time this is true. BUT I am also human and I do make mistakes and unintentionally let people down. This week I have a very simple tap-along audio (and tapping script) to deal with those times in which we feel shame for letting others down. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

In my client sessions over the last few weeks I have found myself repeatedly saying that there are four reasons why we sabotage ourselves and stand in the way of taking the action we know we want to take. Without exception my clients respond with, "Wait! I want to write this down." So here are those four reasons written down for you: We don't have a clear vision. We don't know how to take the step. It is painful to take action. It is painful to be successful. There are practical and emotional reasons that can show up in each of these four areas. In this week's podcast I walk through all of these AND how you can start tapping for them. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

In my early years of tapping I was super eager to share tapping with everyone I possibly could. Over time I learned that it was best to share tapping (or anything for that matter) only with people who are actually open to learning something new. A number of years ago I was on a flight from Los Angeles to Chicago and ended up in a conversation with a fellow passenger that led to us doing a tapping session right there on the flight. Here are the twelve lessons I took away from the experience that might help you when you are tapping on your own, tapping with others, or are in a situation where you might be able to share tapping with others. You will find a written version of the twelve lessons below the player. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Note: If you find reading instructions more helpful than listening, you should check out the article version of the topic. When people unsubscribe from my mailing list they have the opportunity to leave a comment. I recently received a really interesting comment from someone who was unsubscribing from my list. She wrote: "I am very busy at the moment and I don't have time to practice, so I feel stressed out." I find that a fascinating comment. She is saying that her life feels so out of control that the thought of doing something that will make it better (like tapping) is too overwhelming! The reason she isn't willing to take the time to tap? It's not because she doesn't have the time or know how. The reason is because she isn't in enough pain. I'm serious. In the podcast I explain why being in pain can be a really positive thing AND how we can cultivate this pain to help us to take action. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

When I first started using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) I thought the reason that we tapped was to feel better. My first two experiences with tapping reinforced this belief. My first memory of using EFT on my own was getting rid of one of the most profound headaches I had ever had in about 90 seconds. My second big moment was dealing with my social anxiety. It makes sense that this is what I thought EFT was all about because in both cases I felt SO much better. But there will be times when using tapping only as a way to feel better will do us a disservice because it impacts the action we take. This week I explore the two different types of outcomes that come from tapping and how to make sure we get the outcome that makes the most sense for the issue we are tapping on. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Trying again where we have failed in the past is one of the hardest things to do. I was recently faced with wanting to do something that didn't go well in the past. It wasn't that it went badly, but it was far from as successful as I would have liked, so I was hesitant about trying again. Here is an audio of me tapping in real time for this issue. You will hear me tapping for the issue and then processing each round of tapping to see what needs to be tapped on next. The tapping produces a useful tapping script and also shows you how I process through issues in real time. I would love your feedback on the tapping and to know if you find it helpful. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Theoretically we all want to be our authentic selves and show up in the world as we actually are. But for most of us it's just not that simple. From past experience we have learned that there are some situations where others don't understand us, or we have been judged harshly for being our authentic selves. That makes us reluctant to present ourselves in a way that will be judged by others. In truth, being our authentic selves is not an all-or-nothing proposition. We can choose how much of ourselves to share, with whom we share it, and when we share it. This will ensure we are doing in a way that is safe for us. This week I have a tap-along audio and tapping script that will help you to feel safe as you find the ways in which you want to share your authentic self. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

As many of you know, I also run the member site the Ruach Center. Every day members of the site receive an email from me with a link to a tap-along audio that is designed to conquer self-sabotaging behavior. Recently, as I was recording one of those audios, I personally experienced a huge emotional shift. This tap-along is about connecting to and appreciating all parts of our being and our experience. Even though the audio and script are short, it will make you feel more grounded right away. I thought it would be a great thing to share with everyone, not just the site members. I hope you find it as powerful as did. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Tapping is a tool that is both relatively simple to learn and implement, but deceptively complicated to master. The basics of tapping are easy to explain. So much so that I have given full instructions on the basics in under five minutes on the back of a bar napkin. At the same time, tapping effectively for a particular issue can require much subtlety and nuance and sometimes we need the help of an outside practitioner to be successful. That's why, despite being an experienced tapper and practitioner myself, I regularly work with a practitioner on my own issues. One of the biggest mistakes people make when tapping is choosing the wrong starting point for their issue. When this happens, progress is slow and relief is hard to find. Here is a simple process that I use to ensure that I am using the best starting point for my tapping. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

The basics of tapping are so simple that they can be taught in mere minutes. But just because tapping is simple, doesn't mean that effective tapping is easy. There is so much more to it than knowing the tapping points. In this short audio I explain three simple ideas to keep in mind before you tap to help you to get the most out of your tapping sessions. Each of the three ideas comes with a short tap-along to help you execute them. I would love to hear how this works for you. Let me know your results down in the comment section. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

It is great that we have people in our lives who want to be helpful. They are willing to offer their time, attention and advice to make our lives better. The problem is that just because someone wants to be helpful, doesn't mean that they are actually helpful – and sometimes they even make a situation worse! I call this type of help "well-meaning incompetence". Their heart is in the right place, but their advice or action doesn't actually do us any good. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

It is difficult for us to see the people we love suffer but often we don't consider the consequences when we rush in to help. Our need to bring peace and comfort can override all other thoughts and considerations. This is not always the healthiest choice for us in the short and/or long term. Sometimes when we choose to help we do so by taking on the burdens of our loved ones. Many times we can carry these burdens for years without realizing, or we take on burdens when we are very young and do not remember choosing to do so. When the burdens of others have been a part of our lives for so long they feel like they are a part of us and we don't realize that they can be released. Taking on someone else's burden is an act of love motivated by wanting someone's life to be better. But there is an even higher act of love which is to release the burden we have taken on, bringing freedom to ourselves and to others. In this brief audio you will hear me leading a client through a demonstration of how we can use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping to let go of the burdens we are carrying for others. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

The idea of quitting comes with a lot of cultural baggage. Quitting is often seen as failure, or giving up, or as a sign of weakness. I'm sure you have heard the old chestnut, "Winners never quit and quitters never win." Don't get me wrong. It is a good thing to live up to commitments and take responsibility for the outcome of our choices, but at the same time, so is quitting the activities that are not producing positive outcomes. It is good for us to let go of the tasks, plans, relationships, and activities that no longer serve who we are and who we want to be. This week I have a tap-along audio that will help you to be comfortable with quitting the parts of your life that no longer serve you. This is one you might need to tap on more than once. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

This is a technique that I developed from some of the resources from Quantum Techniques. I use this with many of my clients at the end of sessions, especially when we have done powerful work. This is also a great way to relax at any time, but is particularly good for the end of the day or right before bedtime. The technique takes less than three minutes and it's so easy to master that you only need to listen to it once. The interesting thing is how effective this tool is and it doesn't even require you to tap at all. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

If you have been following me of any length of time online, then you know how much I love goal setting. I find that goals are useful in clarifying what we want, helping us to create an actionable plan, and give us the tools to evaluate our progress. At the same time, having a clear idea of what we want can actually become a problem when we turn success into an all-or-nothing proposition. When we make our goals all or nothing, anything less than perfection will feel like a failure. For example, let's consider a painful knee that hurts at the level of a 7 on a 0 to 10 scale. If my all-or-nothing goal is to be completely pain free, even a reduction in the pain to a 2 will leave me feeling dissatisfied. This causes two problems in the moment. First, we aren't able to appreciate the progress we have made. Second, we are much less likely to take action again in the future because we are unlikely to attempt tasks at which we "failed" in the past. This week I have a simple tap-along audio to help you celebrate the success you are having and to clear any resistance to keep taking action because you haven't yet reached your goal. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

While on retreat a number years ago Russ Hudson said, "We must be in touch with the mind, body, and spirit in order to be candidates for transformation." Because of the nature of the modern world we have lost touch with our physical bodies. Most of us are not working the land, in tune with the seasons, or using our bodies for work. Just watch someone who is on-line. It looks as if they have left their bodies. It is very easy (and healthy) to reconnect with our physical bodies. This simple little tap-along will help you to reconnect to your body and feel more grounded inside your body. It takes less than 4 minutes to do and is the prefect tap-along to start your day. After you do it a few times you are going to be able to repeat the process without having to listen to the audio again. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Support the podcast! Human beings are social creatures. That means that in order to thrive, we need to do more than just interact with others, we need to work together, whether collaboratively in a professional context, or by sharing enjoyable activities in our social lives. Whenever we ask someone to do something with or for us, we risk being turned down. That may seem obvious, but there is a deeper issue at play because on a subconscious level, a rejection may be read as a rejection of us and who we are. Even though this isn't the case, if we are struggling with that emotion, we are unlikely to take the action that we want to take. When we don't ask to connect and work with others, we miss opportunities and our lives aren't as rich. This week I have for you a simple tap-along (tapping script below) to help you to know it is safe to ask others, even if they might say no. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Support the podcast! I am a huge proponent of goal setting. Having clearly defined goals is helpful in two ways. First, it helps to define the actions we need to take to achieve them. Second, it gives us a measuring stick with which to evaluate our efforts along the way and after the fact. Without having set goals I wouldn't be as happy and successful as I am. I love goal setting so much that I created an entire web site dedicated to working toward your goals. But there is a problem with goals: they create expectations. Expectations aren't the problem, but they can create a false dichotomy. On a subconscious level we may believe that either we achieve our goals as written OR we have failed, with nothing in between. Failing to recognize our progress can demotivate us. In this short audio and tap-along I talk about how you can avoid the feeling of all or nothing that setting goals can create. (As always, the full tapping script can be found below the audio player.) If you are interested in a systematic way of using tapping to achieve your goals and avoiding common pitfalls like the "all-or-nothing" disposition, I encourage you to check out The Ruach Center Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Support the podcast! With some issues measuring our success is a simple task. For example, after going to the gym four times a week for a few months I can measure how much stronger I am by how much weight I can now lift compared with when I started. But not all types of transformation are as easy to track, particularly for issues and responses that are incrementally changing over time. For example, how could you measure more confidence or less anger? In this conversation Mary Ayers and I talk about how we can measure our progress through the lenses of three different characteristics of the issue that are all measurable. If you are tapping on an issue over the course of multiple tapping sessions, then understanding this is a must. First, it will help you to understand what is working so that you can continue to do it. Second, it will identify the areas where you need to try a different approach. Finally, seeing the progress that is often missed will help you to gain momentum in your transformational work. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora Guest: Dr. Mary Ayers Contact: web @ TapIntoAction.com; web radio @ The Chickenshits Guide to Success; facebook @ Tap Into Action About Mary: Dr. Mary Ayers knows how to get people un-stuck! With her years of experience as a therapist and a coach, you won't find the typical or ordinary coaching techniques in her programs. When it comes to taking action, she pulls out all the stops – delving deep to find those hidden fears and limiting beliefs. Known for her UNconventional, often "off the wall" methods, she will get you moving towards your goals without bullying, shaming or "pushing through the fear". With over 27 years in the Human Development field, her accomplishments include 5 years as a coach with the Anthony Robbins Organization, EFT Expert on The Tapping World Summit, and Host of the radio show "The Chickenshit's Guide to Success".

Support the podcast! We often treat our bodies as if they are the enemy and the journey towards better health as a battle. We can feel betrayed by our bodies, and feel hopeless and frustrated by our slow or lack of progress. But our bodies are not our enemy. In reality, our bodies are doing what they can to be healthy and there are simply unseen obstacles to the healing process Once we recognize that we are not separate from our bodies, and that they are trying to function in an optimal way, it becomes easier to work towards better health and well being. Recently I was working with a client on returning to a healthier body after backsliding (again). After a great session he asked if we could spend some time on helping him to believe that progress was possible and to reconnect with his body. When we had finished the session he said, "You should write that down so others can use it." When I told him that I could share the recording if I had his permission, he insisted I did, so here it is. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Support the podcast! It is amazing how much stock we put in other people's opinion of who we are and how we are supposed to be in the world. Recently I was introduced to the quote "I'm not who I think I am. I not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am." [Note: Unfortunately the source of this quote is not clear, or I would provide it. It is variously credited to Charles Horton Cooley, Thomas Cooley, and Dennis Cooley.] The gist of the quote is that we often find ourselves trying to live up to an imagined standard that we think other people have for us. This is a surefire recipe for self-sabotage! Either we will be trying to do what we want to do and trying to do what we think others want us to do. This has us taking action in multiple and often conflicting ways, which results in little to no progress. OR we take no action at all because we are caught between our own desires and the perceived desires of others. In this week's podcast I provide two ways to remedy this situation. First, I have a simple process for uncovering and tapping for the specific expectations we think others have for us. Second, I have more general tap-along to help you get moving even when you can't see the beliefs clearly. As always, I have included a text version of the tapping script below the audio player that you can print out. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Support the podcast! The human experience can be full of complications and conflicts. My clients often say things like "I am of two minds" or "My head is telling me one thing but my heart is telling me something else." It's difficult to move forward if we feel we are being pulled in multiple directions! To help navigate this, I have created what I call the Grounding Process. It is designed to move you from feeling scattered to being fully grounded by connecting your mind, heart, and physical body to your higher self. This is one of my favorite processes and I teach it in my advanced classes as an example of both guided imagery and parts work. I do this process myself at least once a week. The first time I did it I was amazed at the information my system gave me. A number of years ago Jessica Ortner of the Tapping Insiders Club interviewed me about the process. We then did the process together, so that you can tap right along with it. [Note: In an effort to make the Tapping Q & A Podcast archive easier to navigate, the old bonus podcasts have been turned into full episodes. This episode was originally released December 24th, 2009.] Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora This is one of my favorite processes. I teach it in my advanced classes as an example of both guided imagery and parts work. I do this process myself at least once a week. The first time I did it I was amazed at the information my system gave me. In this version Jessica of the Tapping Insiders Club asks me a few questions about it and then you can follow the process and tap right along.

Support the podcast! Music can be so powerful at setting our mood. So much so that experiments have shown that music can dictate our interpretation of events where images are accompanied by different kinds of music. For example, grave images with whimsical music were seen as humorous, and sad pictures with silly music were perceived as funny. We have a special connection to music in our teenage years for a number of reasons: It's usually the time in our lives in which we listen to music the most Teenagers are often most engaged in seeking out and listening to new music We experience the most emotional change in our teenage years (see podcast 373 on the adolescent brain) Hearing a song from your teenage years can instantly put you back in that time. It is more than a fleeting feeling of nostalgia, it's like you have been transported back in time. The strength of that connection means that music can be a great tool for clearing issues from the past that we are still carrying. This week I have one of my favorite tools for you on how music from our teen years can be used with tapping to effect powerful transformation. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Support the podcast! Did you know that during adolescence the brain goes through more neurological changes that it does at any point in human development? That's even more changes than during the notorious "terrible twos" and one of the reasons why interacting with teenagers can be so complicated. Being around teens can be challenging because they constantly seem to be on a giant emotional rollercoaster! This week I have a conversation with Janey Downshire who is one of the co-authors of Teenagers Translated: A Parent's Survival Guide. I met Janey at the EFT Gathering a number of years ago and was instantly impressed with her work in helping parents to understand and support their teenagers. In the conversation we talk about: The difference between the settled and the unsettled brain (for teens and parents) How the adolescent brain is a work in progress Why teenage boys struggle to talk about their emotions Why teenage boys are risk seekers Why teenage girls struggle with fallout from friend groups Why parents often think something is a small deal when teens think it is a big deal Why the teenage years are harder than the "terrible twos" The goal we want for our teens: not calm, but good mental health habits that will stand them in good stead in later life How parents can avoid escalating conflict with their teenagers The best thing you can provide for your children What to tap on and when to tap as a parent How to introduce tapping to kids If you have a teenager, spend time with teenagers, or have children who will soon be teenagers, I urge you to listen to this one. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora Guest: Janey Downshire Contact: Web @ TeenagersTranslated.co.uk; Facebook @ TeenagersTranslated; email @ [email protected]; Book @ Teenagers Translated: A Parent's Survival Guide About: Janey Downshire (Grad. Dip. Couns; Cert Emotional Literacy; MBACP) and her colleague Naella Grew are both qualified counsellors, specialising in teenage development. For over 10 years, they have worked together to design a unique range of courses for students, adults and teachers, which they deliver through their company Teenagers Translated. Their presentations distil the most current research in psychology, neuroscience, biochemistry and child development into practical, relevant strategies for their audiences. Their work aims to deepen understanding and awareness of the links between emotions, physiology, mental habits and behaviour in order to promote better communication and relationships and improve mental health, emotional regulation and wellbeing in families and schools. Janey and Naella are both parents, Janey has four children, now at university and working in London.

Support the podcast! A concept that I learned very early on in my training as a practitioner was: Our emotional response is dictated by how we describe the world, and not the way the world actually is. That's why I am constantly asking my clients for more details about how they understand what is going on in their lives. In many cases, when we are able to change the way they describe their situation, their emotions shift, even before we have started tapping. One of the words that always gets my attention, is when a client uses the word "should". Should, by its very nature, implies an expectation which may or may not be true. (In practice, it almost always implies an expectation that isn't true.) There are three parts to this week's podcast: We explore where our sense of "should" comes from and why it can cause emotional problems, which in turn lead us to not taking action, or taking actions that aren't right for us. I share a simple process that you can use to interrogate the actions that you feel you "should" be taking. This process will help you to pin down the origin of a specific should, and whether or not it serves you. A simple tap-along to do once you realize you can let go of something you believe you should be doing. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Support the podcast! In Pod #370 last week we talked about how best to use tapping when contemplating or going through a divorce. This week I have a conversation with Melissa Beasley about abusive relationships. Between these two conversations you can see how hard it is to talk about relationships going badly. There is so much cultural and personal baggage around admitting that a relationship hasn't worked out. It becomes even more complicated when emotional and physical abuse is part of the equation. In this week's podcast Melissa Beasley and I talk about abusive and toxic relationships and cover: How to identify an abusive relationship (including why it is so difficult to identify a toxic relationship from the inside) The tools and tactics used by abusive partners Why people stay in abusive relationships The four stages of moving out of a toxic relationship and into a healthy post-relationship life Steps for getting out of a toxic relationship How to use tapping in all four stages of leaving a toxic relationship This is a resource that everyone needs to listen to. Here is a list of helpful resources if you find yourself in this situation: Domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233 Domestic violence hotline website with tons of helpful info and a 24/7 chat: TheHotline.org Book: Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft Book: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans Book: BIFF - Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns by Bill Eddy. It's about how to communicate with high conflict people Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy Christian Book: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernik Christian Book: Divorce and Remarriage in the Church by David Instone Brewer Christian Book: Give Her Wings: Help and Healing After Abuse by Megan Cox Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify Guest: Melissa Beasley Contact: web @ MelissaDawnBeasley.com; web @ LoveEssentialSkinCare.com; facebook @Love Essential Skin Care; Instagram @loveessentialskincare About: Melissa is a natural skincare formulator and manufacturer. She started making skincare in her parents' kitchen as a way to support herself and her two boys after her divorce. She still manufactures her products for her own brand Love-Essential Skin Care, and she creates custom product lines for spas, salons and natural product companies. Melissa now uses the skills and knowledge she learned while growing her skincare business to help other moms create and grow their own businesses. She understands the unique challenges that mothers, and especially single mothers, face when trying to grow a business and helps them navigate those challenges so they can have a successful business without giving up their sanity or time with their precious babies. EFT was one of Melissa's most important tools when recovering from her divorce and growing Love-Essential Skin Care and is instrumental in helping her clients.

Support the podcast! Divorce is a tricky subject. One one level there is all the cultural pressure to find a way of making a success of a struggling relationship. On the other, there is the desire to keep yourself happy and healthy by ending a relationship that is no longer working. Because of these opposing desires, figuring out a divorce is seldom straightforward. This week I have a conversation with Kate Anthony, a coach and the author of the "Divorce Survival Guide". We talk about the emotions that come up with considering divorce: What will happen to my kids and how can I support them emotionally? How is it going to work out financially on my own? Isn't there one more thing I should try? How will my friends and family react if I get divorced? How will I face my faith community if I get divorced? What if I am just over reacting to something that could be fixed? If you are in an unfulfilling relationship, this is the perfect starting point to start sorting out (and tapping for) your emotions. ALSO, if you know someone who is going through difficulties in their relationship, this conversation will give you ideas for a starting point to asking them thoughtful questions and how to be emotionally support in such a difficult time. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify Guest: Kate Anthony Contact: web @ KateAnthony.com; facebook @ CoachKateAnthony; instagram @thedivorcesurvivalguide About: Kate Anthony is a certified life coach who helps women decide if they should stay in or leave their marriages and then guides them through the divorce process should they choose to leave. Kate empowers women to find their strength, passion, and confidence, even in the most disempowering of circumstances and helps them move forward with concrete plans, putting their children at the center (not in the middle) of all decisions. In addition to her certification, Kate has also trained as a relationship coach and is an expert in communication, co-parenting, and emotional intelligence.

Support the podcast! Receive reminders via text message 3 times a week: http://tappingqanda.com/sms A common characteristic of people involved in personal development and self-help is that they are caring and thoughtful people. As well as trying to improve their own lives, they strive to make the world a better place. Because of this, they are sensitive to other people's needs and desires and they really want to make a difference. At the same time, they tend to put other people's needs before their own and sometimes their loved ones take advantage of this. They start to feel like doormats and begin to resent others. This week I have a tap-along audio and tapping script for those times when you feel like that you are too nice and that others are taking advantage of you. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify

Support the podcast! Our internal critical voice is one of the key reasons we fail to take the action we want in life. This constant nagging voice in our heads points out all of our past failings, why we aren't capable of taking action now, and why we will fail in the future. When we have a voice inside of our head telling us this over and over again, it can become crippling. The stronger the critical voice is, the less likely we are to take action. In this podcast Jacqui Letran and I talk about why the critical voice exists (and there is a good reason), how we can tap for it, and a new analogy for how to think about it. The image that Jacqui shares for the critical voice is one I had never thought of and is just perfect. Her description completely changed the way I think of my own critical voice. We also talk about how best to tap in the moment to reduce the power of the critical voice. Note: During the conversation we talk about forgiveness, the pitfalls around being able to forgive, and how to approach forgiveness in a healthy way. Here is a more comprehensive reflection on how to achieve forgiveness of others and of self into your tapping work. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify Guest: Jacqui Letran Contact: Web @ JacquiLetran.com; Amazon Author's Page @ Jacqui Lentran; Podcast @ Stop the Bully Within Instagram @Roving.Vegans About: Jacqui Letran is an Author, Speaker, Mindset Mentor and the Host of the Stop the Bully Within podcast. Jacqui's Words of Wisdom for Teens book series won multiple awards and is often regarded as "must read" books for teens and young adults struggling with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Through her one-on-one sessions, workshops, keynotes, as well as her books and podcast, Jacqui teaches that success and happiness are achievable by all, regardless of current struggles and circumstances. Jacqui is a gifted and energetic leader who dedicates her life's work to help her clients and students transform their inner critic into their best friend and cheerleader, so they can create that powerful and resilient mindset needed to be happy and successful in life.

Did you know that as a supporter of the podcast, you receive a number of bonuses? Learn about supporting the podcast! As much as I love tapping, it is not the only or best tool that we can use for our health and wellbeing. In her latest book "Energy Healing: Simple and Effective Practices to Become Your Own Healer" Kris Ferraro goes beyond the basic EFT tapping recipe and teaches many other tapping-type tools. They are all easy to learn, can be self-applied and each take less than a minute to perform. Kris shares three of those tools on this week's podcast, which you will be able to use right away. In the conversation we cover: Polarity switching How to calm the flight, fight, and freeze response How to clear governing vessel I recommend that you add all of these tools to your tapping tool box! Note: During the interview I talked about where I learned muscle testing. In case you are interested, this is the training I did from Quantum Techniques: Truth Techniques (aff) – DVDs | digital download As noted by the "aff" this is an affiliate link, but I would recommend this course even if it weren't. Just last week I bought more products from QT because I love their stuff so much. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify Guest: Kris Ferraro Contact: web @ KrisFerraro.com; email @ [email protected] About: Kris Ferraro is an Energy Coach, Author, and Speaker based in northern NJ. She is the creator of Spiritual Freedom Techniques, a series of practices that combine ancient wisdom with EFT for transformation. Kris is a "true believer" in everyone's innate ability to heal. She helps clients release their debilitating emotional patterns so they can step into their power and purpose. Her book, "Energy Healing: Simple and Effective Practices to Become Your Own Healer", published by St. Martin's Press, introduces energy psychology to new audiences.

Support the podcast! In part one of "Getting Out Of My Own Way", the ten-part guide for using tapping to eliminate self-sabotage, I shared with you tapping to use at each end of your day. Tapping is a great way to start off your day on the right foot. Ending the day with tapping helps to let go any unresolved emotions from the day and helps us to get a better night's sleep. But tapping in the middle of the day is often overlooked and can be really helpful, providing the opportunity to: Release any disappointment about what you haven't achieved in the morning Catch your breath and re-ground yourself Set your intention for the rest of the day Tapping in this way is super easy! I have included a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to reset at midday. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify Download the free Tapping Q & A app which includes this and 50 other tapping scripts: Apple App | Google/Android App

Support the podcast! Feeling like we don't belong is tough. It might be because we don't feel we are smart enough, talented enough, have something offer the world, or that we just don't fit in. Feeling like a fraud means that we don't contribute or speak up, we hide in the background, or we don't even show up. All of these strategies are to keep us safe because we don't want to be found out. In most cases, feeling like a fraud has nothing to do with who we are, what we can do, and what we have to offer. Instead, it is because we are comparing what is going on inside our head with what we see on the outside of those around us. We know our intentions and when we don't live up to them. We know the fear or insecurity we feel when we are taking action. At the same time, we only see what others do and assume (wrongly) that they are acting with perfect confidence and calm. This means we aren't treating ourselves fairly! Below is a tap-along audio and tapping script that will help you to tap when you feel like a fraud. It will help you to see yourself for who you are and see those around you for who they are. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify Download the Tapping Q & A app for free which include this and 50 other tapping scripts: Apple App | Google/Android App

Support the podcast! In Recovering Sell - A Healing Manifesto I share twelve thoughts on healing. Number six is: "There is always resistance to change because if there weren't resistance, you would have changed already." As a tapper, this means that one of our most important tasks is to find the root cause(s) preventing us from taking action or making change. Lori Lamont has developed an easy tool that you can use as a practitioner, or when you are tapping on your own to uncover these hidden resistances. In addition to showing you how to uncover resistance, we also talk about a new way to capture these underlying issues so you can come back to them again and again. This is a tool that every tapper needs to have in their tapping tool box. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify

Support the podcast! Grief is a topic that we don't talk about much publicly. We talk about loss. We talk about moving on. But we don't talk about grief itself. When we don't talk about and process grief, it lingers and can cause problems for us in the future. This week I have a conversation with Lynne Staley. Lynne is a tapper and certified Grief Recovery™ Specialist. In this podcast episode we cover: Why we experience grief The difference between grief and mourning All of the experiences that can cause grief in addition to the death of a loved one (and the list is longer than you might think) Practical steps you can take to work through your own grief and how to help someone else through theirs How to use tapping while using these steps This interview is a must-listen because every single one of us has experienced grief and will experience it again. Our conversation is practical and you will be able to use what you learn right away. Note: Here is the the feelings inventory from the Center For Nonviolent Communication that we talked about in the interview. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify Guest:Lynne Staley Contact: website @ Llife-After-Loss.com/; facebook @ LifeAfterLossCoach; email @ [email protected]; book @ In Death Is the Secret to Life: A Tribute Journal About: Lynne Staley has been a Companion to Grievers since 2002 and has a wealth of knowledge about grief, loss and life transitions. She is a Certified Emotional Freedom Techniques Practitioner and incorporates tapping in her work with clients to address grief-related stress. Lynne recognizes that grief is not just related to death; there are more than 40 losses identified by The Grief Recovery Institute, including health diagnoses, job loss, family estrangement, etc. In addition to Grief Integration, she teaches EFT to elders, hospice staff, school personnel, student athletes, student musicians, other "creatives", etc. She is the author of In Death Is the Secret to Life: A Tribute Journal.

Support the podcast! One the most important ideas that I try to convey to all of my clients is the fact that emotions are not the enemy. Emotions are not a problem that we need to fix. Instead, our emotions can provide us with useful information about how we are interpreting what is happening to us in the moment. The aim of tapping is not to get rid of our emotions. Instead, we are working towards understanding why we are feeling those emotions, which in turn enables us to transform our understanding so that our emotions show up in a proportionate, well-informed way. Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to recognize your emotions for what they are and stop feeling like you are caught in a battle with your emotional state. This is a great way to tap by itself and it also serves as a perfect way to set up a tapping session when you are working on a bigger issue. Download the free Tapping Q & A app that includes the above script: Apple App | Google/Android App Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify

Support the podcast! It is always encouraging to hear first-person success stories. Hearing about other people's success helps us in a couple of ways. First, it shows us what is possible. When we aren't making the progress we would like, and as quickly as we would like, it is easy to feel discouraged. Hearing about the success others have had gives us encouragement and inspiration. Second, other people's success stories offer us a great opportunity to learn. Hearing how they overcame obstacles and found their way to success gives us ideas on how we can do the same. In this week's podcast I have three stories of people who have used tapping successfully. This a great chance for all of us to learn and take encouragement! Over the next year I will be sharing more stories like these, so if you have your own stories about tapping you'd like to share, please let me know and I will follow up with you to see if it is a good fit. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify

Support the podcast! Tapping is a powerful in helping us to find relief. It can reduce pain in the moment, it can diminish overpowering emotions, and it can even help us to see a problem more clearly. As wonderful as all of this is, I think we are missing half of the benefits that we can be getting from tapping by only focusing on the relief. What if it was possible for us to have more than relief with tapping? A few weeks ago at the Spring Energy Event I presented two tools which can me used to move not just from pain to relief but instead from pain to a feel or resource that is powerful. In this week's podcast I share with you one of those two tools. After you listen to the instruction all you will need to executes this simple but powerful tool is the following 5 steps. (And, yes, these instructions will make total sense after you listen to the audio.) Name the negative emotion that is being experienced Name the positive emotion would like to be experience Rate from -10 to +10 Do 3 rounds of tapping checking in each time with the new number and to gather more info Repeat process for step 2 redefining the emotion you are moving towards Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify

Support the podcast! In working with clients I have come to realize the most powerful fear that prevents us from taking action is the the fear that we are going to be rejected. The reason this fear is so powerful is because of our history as a species. Thousands of years ago, as humans, we were in the situation in which we needed our tribe to survive. Being in a tribe meant that we weren't facing the world alone and that we had others we could count on. Being pushed out of the tribe meant we have to the face the threats of the world alone and it most certainly meant death. Because of this history, when ever we feel like we are being rejected it stirs up this primitive fear. Since this is the case, the feeling of rejection on any level stops us in our track. This means that tapping on the fear of rejection is one of the most important types of tapping that we can do. This week I have for you three different tap-alongs that you can use to help you get past the fear of rejection. Tapping scripts for all three tap-alongs that are included in this audio can be found below the player. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify