Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

I have been reading Dr Shefali's new book Radical Awakening. She talks about many faces of the ego, the helpers, the takers, the controllers (under each one of these there are many facets). We often identify with 2 or 3 predominantly. I was shocked to see one of them I identified with was the Princess (not all of it was me but some of it). I can see over the years that as I became a Mum, gave up my job and have been setting up my own business I lost all confidence in my ability to make my way in the world. I slowly gave away my power to my husband, I became the looked after one. I struggle with the idea that I can make my business a success and can not see how I can't rely on others to help me out. As a child I had a very controlling mother who diminished me & I allowed this to happen in my relationship (but I see this was me). I am actually terrified about how I can make my way in life. When I see others do it , I just think how, that will never be me even though I really want it to be.

My thoughts of the day...."A belief is only a thought I keep thinking.” Abraham Hicks.'A belief is a thought that we've been attaching to, often for years.' Byron Katie'Often when you put a label on someone or something, you create a limit—the label becomes the limitation' Jim KwickSome beliefs limit us, narrow our view, seperate us from others, cause conflict, trap us, allow us to bypass our experience, keep us small, make us superior or inferior.We live in a web of beliefs:-I can't, I shouldn't, they shouldn't, I'm not, they're not, it's hard, I couldn't, they mustn't, this is wrong with me, how dare they, who do they think are, they are, there so, I'm so, it's not possible, there's no way...So this goes on & on until we start to gently inquire into our belief system, into the matrix and the illusion. We can clear the path by insight, inquiry & feeling the pain of seperation.A recent one for me "My Mum, doesn't see me, validate me, she causes me pain". Her comments hurt me, like a stab in the chest. "Where do I get my validation from, is it her?" As long as I think it is from her it will never be so, she will keep hurting me as she is not my validation source.People are unreliable and inconsistent sources of validation & they will keep reminding us until we are ready to consistently ground ourselves within.My Mum said to me the other day," I would never have told you were amazing or special as a child as it wouldn't have been true. "Is it a surprise I was seeking validation from others? needing someone else to want me, so I attract a man in my life that couldn't do that for me either."You are amazing, you are the best, you are so wanted, so needed, you are special, you are important" Validation!!! As Clare Dimond says these mini rewards distract us & keep us looking outside of ourselves. This is not were our happiness lies.It is the consistent loving feeling that is always present within us & without of us.No One Can Give Us That!!!!People will keep pointing us back home! until we are ready to see.

Listener 1 I listented to it today and I struggle with the concept to just go into the anxiety, without further explsnation or help. I always experienced it as total retraumatizing, litterally devastating. In trauma therapy you first establish some ressource like eg a stable feeling in some part of the body and then oscillate between the safe space and the anxiety to not overwhelm the system. I don't think this is always necessary but some sort of connection to a bigger picture, like the space that we are or something like that to hold the anxiety is necessary in my experience to not overwhelm the system and to be even helpful in some way, other ways it's just plane torture. In other words I think if we don't see what we are and use it as anker the going into the feeling is more harmful than not.Listener 2 Hear what you are saying. This morning’s experience has been physically exhausting with the sheer adrenaline of it, that I fell asleep at my laptop for a wee while. When I’m in the panic it does feel like a retraumatisation as it’s happened before but I think there is now a bit of distance from it. I find it very hard to go into it as Clare would say as am so lost at that stage that keeping real and away from the projections of the mind is a struggle. @⁨Clare Dimond⁩ could our comments be a follow up podcast please? Others may feel the same.

I keep being told I’m too sensitive. I have an artistic temperament. And sensitivity helps with this. I am tuned into people’s energies. On the one hand sensitivity is seen as good thing and on the other it is an issue as people tell me I get offended too easily. Can you help me with this

Could you expand on these words "people are safe with the person who is prepared to hang out in the discomfort feelings and see what's going on there because it means no wars are started. To try and find peace within us, the war within us is identified and then peace."

https://tatyanasussex.substack.com/p/beauty-q-and-a-with-clare-dimond?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email#playFrom Tatyana: Dear Beautiful Friends,Are you ready for a mini-PhD in reality, freedom, and the awakened life—with some laughter thrown in? Meet my beloved teacher, guide, coach, friend, and playmate of the past three amazing years, Clare Dimond. I’m going to introduce her by going straight to the very last question I ask in my Beauty Q&As, because Clare’s answer is so 🤯 and 🐒 and 😱 and 💫 with a little 🧚‍♀️ thrown in.Me: What is a reason to be happy to be alive today?Clare: There aren’t any.*Clare is not nihilistic nor misanthropic; she is a teacher and author in the field of non-duality, an understanding that addresses (in a nutshell) the nature of reality and pokes at the truth behind suffering and the separate self. You might call it intimacy with all things, the Oneness of life. Clare’s groups and teachings are conversations that point in the direction of what it means to be alive in our bodies as infinite awareness and unconditional love.Something like that! I have been learning/working/studying/playing with Clare in this space for three years and still come up short with the right language to describe this field of exploration and awakening. *Because we don’t need a reason to be happy to be alive, and any reason we come up with is only true for a fleeting moment, then it changes.Let’s cut to the good part shall we? WATCH THE VIDEOWe slowed down, went past the 20 minutes limit and explored beauty, how it is an unconditional quality of life and can be a portal to awakening, freedom, expansion.We also talked about:What is Beauty & Does It Matter?The Artist’s WayPositive affirmationsIs the natural world calling us to be a collaborator in life?Being a human in a troubled world—how the hell do you cope?Going deep with our fears about global issuesWhat does the world want from us?How to rhumba on the playfield of life.Mystery as beauty, beauty as mystery.How does a non-dual philosophy teacher & author play?Distinctions between work & play, clients & friends.

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Is it possible to have a good relationship with someone who is really traumatised. My partner had a terrible childhood and a lot of addiction as a consequence. They frequently have bouts of great anger and times of withdrawal from me. Is there a way through this for us to a healthy relationship

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On your podcast on 9th August you said that “the body is the judge.” I don’t know that I’ve heard it said that way. Could you talk more about that? Perhaps some details — I am wondering what there is for me to see in the severe pain that is felt in my body /- especially in my hands and wrists. More than that too, some itching and just all the other things that come and go. There have been insights around the tightness and contraction with regards to limited beliefs/stories/ideas or critical ways of seeing the world. I’ve been aware of that for years. And meeting and greeting the pain with compassionate awareness, if pain is here is that indicative of judgement and gee how can that ever stop or be different?

Reading your book ‘it’s not you and it's not me'. Please help me clarify exactly what you are saying and navigate my situation. I am in love with a woman let’s call her Ann. I think about her all the time. I get jealous when she talks about other men. I get upset if she doesn’t want to see me. This feels like love to me. There have been other women in my life who I haven’t felt that with . Are you saying the relationship with Ann is a play out of trauma and it is not with the other women? How can that be and what does it mean to be in love then if it is not to want to be with the other person all the time. .

Looping back to jiu jitsu again (also a metaphor for other things. And a complete mirror for me) - I’m tempted to say, well, it’s me who has decided that this is good for them. And clearly, it’s just not their thing. Let’s try another activity. Or no activities. And that’s probably true on some level, I suppose. But I’m also feeling that they haven’t actually experienced really doing jiu jitsu. Because they have been so caught up in “I don’t like going with this particular kid. They always go too hard. Why don’t I win medals? I’m too tired. That coach doesn’t like me,” and on and on and on. So it doesn’t feel clean or right to say just quit at this point. But they seem to be moving further into the story with increasing struggle, and my suggestions or attempts to “explain what’s really going on here” (shockingly) have not been helpful. Also, won’t this cycle just repeat itself with the next activity they try? So I guess that’s my question… Can I help a little kid come more into reality? And now after writing all of that, it’s seeming like I should just keep using this as a mirror.

Coming back to reality myself - the concept of the space within which everything, including shame and pain arises - how can attention notice both?

So in answer to the humiliation and discomfort question I asked is, what harm am I doing to my mind and body when feeling immense discomfort that spirals into illness on a large scale for me? It really puts me out of action and makes me fragile then in everyday living.

You teach about perfect design in suffering on individual level (micro level). Can it be also on macro level in all what's happening around the globe?

you mention unconditional love a lot but I still don’t know what that is and where boundaries fit in with it. Also what is there difference between unconditional love and Limerance?

In today's blog you say"This shift from shame, the lowest and most painful of experiences of existence to the blissful sanity of no-doer is, I believe, the reason why enlightenment is such a powerfully transformative experience." I can see this within the context of a something that "I" have doneWhat about something that "another person" has done? Something I had no agency or control over."Me/Control"I sometimes (rarely now) feel ashamed about putting too much money into my business for too little impact."Other/No control"I have felt anger towards my birth mother for not living me enough to keep me.I think this anger was the flip side of feeling ashamed at not being good enough to keep

I‘m just reading this book: The way of integrity by Martha Beck and I have a question. She talks a lot about doing what you love and this confuses me. What is this even? Probably this inner yes. But what is this? Like the teaching. Do I love this? Would say no spontaneously. Having a family, baking bread, even cleaning, do I love this? Would say yes spontaneously. Does this mean I need to stop teaching to live in integrity from my inner yes? But I don’t. Why? Just don’t know why I’m doing it and don’t know why I’m not stopping it. Totally identified. How do you understand this doing what we love?

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Five days ago our country was striked by catastrophic floods. Nothing like this happened before.And my question isn't from a place so people would feel sorry for us. It is from observing my actions/behaviours from this experience which brings this question.In these moments it feels that ego is stepped from the front stage. And things I wouldn't normally do are being done. Shame and fear to protect the identity don't run the show in these circumstances. My question is if this is due to being more aligned with reality in moments like natural disasters, wars etc.?When the real body/life existence is at stake and not the survival of the identity.

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Seeing the cycle of Face Fear -> Get Painfully Knocked Down -> Repeat lead to learning and growth and improvement for some. And (apparent) maladaptive response and (possible) traumatic experience for another. And wondering how much is possible to alter/influence for such young kids. And of course to remember to start with me and all the pointers Claire has given to people in similar situations. But seriously, can we help kids/others have less cycle of retraumatization? I’m recalling that Claire would probably say to “Show them the way.” But unfortunately, I feel like I’m still in preschool with all of this myself :)

If a spiritual teacher says that future and past are an illusion. How does one write a biography about themselves? Is that an illusion from the past?

The world is imagination and that is all relationships are imagination. How do we navigate around arguments, disagreements, people leaving you. Is it just one illusion that we should not even investigate why it happened or should we just move on with our lives.

It’s not really a question, more of a comment really. I was just listening to your podcast, which I love btw, and saw how hard I have been trying to ‘get’ what you’re sharing, so that I can see who I really am and therefore be free, happy, content etc etc. I got that there is no me, so I was trying to secure my identity on Source energy or whatever you want to call it, but of course that concept of ‘Source’ that I had created was just another concept. My mind is scraping around, confused, desperately trying to find something, anything to secure itself on yet it can’t find anything that resonates and feels true. I think it’s going to be an uncomfortable couple of days as it readjusts. All my efforts over the last few years have, unknowingly, been on this, law of attraction etc etc, just to finally get who I am so I can have a different experience, isn’t that the promise that sold?! Now it just feels a bit like all that was wasted and I’m in free fall. My mind is saying “What the hell do I do with my life now? How am I ever going to survive/cope?” That allSounds rather negative, it’s not really, it’s just another layer falling away, to reveal what I have no idea! I didn’t mean it to sound quite so negative, I am grateful to you and I am just a sharing an explanation of my experience of your podcast. Thank you for all you do, it’s brilliant!

‘as long as I am clear headed and not in a mental fog I can handle the discomfort and when I’m not I can’;t. Is that actually true though?

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thank you so much for answering my question! You are so kind and understanding. I'll try to live by this concept... this doesn't necessarily mean not to do any kind of treatment for the physical body right? Because if there is something that could potentially improve your situation why not do it?

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I just watched the webnar. Very interesting. I learned a lot. My issue is that I cannot bear the humiliation and distress in the discomfort when trying to do the things I fear. It's all so devastation to me. I hate attention and I hate being humiliated, pitied or seen as mad or odd. X

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I’m not sure if this is about boundaries or just reactions sorry, or maybe that’s the same actually.I was listening to your podcast episode on boundaries and expectations in relationship.I’ve actually been questioning my reactions over the past week, and this is just fascinating. At my age I’m amazed that I’ve not learned to look at myself in relationship this way EVER before so this episode is groundbreaking for me!What is the solution when we recognise one of these behaviours playing out that is not about the other person. Like my anxiousness when my new partner doesn’t text me back for 5 hours, or acts in a way that “makes” me feel anxious?Instead of responding in a defensive or needy way, I am trying to notice it and not act. But now I hear this, I feel like this is as you say as the other extreme, allowing “someone walk all over me” which is not happening but I’m still allowing something that doesn’t feel ok with me at the moment. What do I do with these reactions of mine once I notice them? How do I actually go about healing them?

What is freedom? Listener question

"When you are inspired… by some great purpose… All of your thoughts, break their bonds… Your mind, transcends limitation… Dormant forces, talents, faculties become alive, and you discover to be a greater person than you ever dreamed to be!" -- Patanjali, 300BC - believed to be the sanskrit author of the yoga sutras A friend just shared this and what if the some great purpose is recognizing who we really are as aware, alive, intelligence?

Today I saw why cutting people off was/is such a hobby for me. I wanna cut them firstly and with that dissarm them so they can't leave me.Less painful if I leave them, than to be left by others.Only inteligence is capable to make such a creative defense.It is made from the same media ...conditioning & healing... wow :)

I wonder if the term ‘insanity’, as commonly understood and which you use quite frequently in this clip, isn't helpful to an ‘identified’ person? For someone lost in programming, might not shame be added to their burden when hearing that suffering is indicative of madness, particularly since suffering is the means through which our innate health/wholeness/freedom is remembered?

We could talk and explore the ''THEM'' course for the rest of our lives. For me it always opens so much pain, grief, anger, resentment and of course shame.And the last one goes so perfectly hand in hand with the vulnerability of which you talk about in today's course video.Each time I faced painful feelings I tried to hide them in front of others, even the closest people in my life. It was and still is unbearable for me to show weakness to be seen weak. I was always the one who took care of others, comforted them, etc. I was in no position to ask others for help and allow myself to receive it.I guess this is still one of my biggest confusions in friendship relationships.Wanting them and pushing them away at the same moment.And when things accumulated I cry ... alone ofcourse :) How do you see crying in the role of healing? And also in a role of letting ourselves be or feel vulnerability?

If the trigger from within a relationship is a mirror to us, then is each triggering circumstance we encounter also a mirror?When we're triggered by a circumstance which does not involve a relationship and which, say, appears to be a recurring circumstance, is the circumstance (similarly to aspects within relationships) mirroring something in us that needs to be fully seen, and thus if we identify and fully feel the physical feeling of the emotional suffering being experienced, the 'charge' is then gone, sanity results and the circumstances must necessarily stop recurring given our vibrational universe?For example, I seem to experience more than my fair share of 'water events', leaks, road floods, bursting pipes. A friend encounters nests of various descriptions, birds, wasps, ants repeatedly and another friend is in the wrong place at the wrong time when heated arguments on the street break out. But even if it's a one-off event, like when I had my phone stolen out of my hand, was even that, single trigger informing me of something going on within me, such that it occurred or even could occur?

What can we do when faced with personal criticism?

I know the theme of others not being interested in what I have to say (for example) is present/recurring but I can't find a feeling in my body when I attempt to sit with this. If I think I about it, really try to bring it to mind and make it matter in the moment, I can cry perhaps, but then it's the feeling of crying. Does it take practice for a localised sensation to become clear maybe?

Isn't the numbing perfect? Listener question