Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their frustration, or even complete the task ourselves. In this episode of Unruffled, Janet advises a mom who writes that her otherwise capable, confident two-year-old is easily frustrated. How can she respond in a manner that helps him develop more patience? Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.” Janet’s guest is Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon, an Infant Developmental Psychologist and RIE Associate with over 20 years of national and international experience in the Early Childhood field. Angela’s passion and the focus of her extensive work and research is building strong adult-infant/toddler relationships from birth, no matter what the circumstances. Every infant is unique, and every family dynamic is different. Angela strives to equip parents and professionals with tools to support and strengthen their relationships while nurturing each child's authenticity, resilience, and self-confidence. Learn more about Angela's work and resources at: FIOTbabiesconsulting.com. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the time our babies are born, we're faced with a multitude of decisions about what we allow them to experience. Naturally, we want to empower our kids to feel capable and resilient, self-confident rather than doubtful, not anxious or fearful. But how do we know when we should let go and trust vs. say no and shield them? Are we saying no because it's too risky for our child, or because it makes us anxious? How can we manage and understand our fears? Janet's guest Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child”) speaks to all of these questions with her usual brilliance and eloquence. Learn more about the resources Dr. Tina Payne Bryson offers at TinaPayneBryson.com and on her Instagram page: TinaPayneBryson Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to be decision-makers and problem solvers, helps to foster a sense of autonomy, agency and healthy control in their world. In this episode, Janet shares how we can begin offering our kids choices even as babies and how as toddlers they crave choice as an expression of their burgeoning sense of self. Janet notes, however, that it can get more complicated. There will be times when offering young children even the simplest choice can seem to paralyze them in indecision. In other instances, they'll make opposing demands on us that can be confusing and infuriating. How do we navigate this? Janet explains by offering guidelines for when and how offering choices works best. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they’re no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and discourage them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9, and 3) who has just recently found Unruffled. She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” However, she realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming, inconsistencies, and a negative reaction to her kids’ emotions. She says her middle child especially is struggling as a result. She feels guilty and is wondering how to make things right. “How can I help them after all the damage I have done?“ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we foster creates a sense of safety that helps our kids stay more grounded and self-regulated, so there won't be as much challenging behavior. When it does arise, it will be easier to resolve. Most important of all, our parent-child relationships will be deeper, richer, more rewarding, and lifelong. Janet's guest Dr. Taniesha Burke is a researcher and parent coach who has extensively studied how parent-child intimacy works and what we can do to increase it. Dr. Burke and Janet discuss these findings and how we can apply them with our children and in all our relationships. Taniesha's website is: https://www.tanieshaburke.com Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.” Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her teens from severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As an adult, that horrific period of her life was wiped from her memory, but the birth of her twins triggered painful flashbacks. Elisabeth has not only championed her own recovery but dedicated her life and work to helping others—breaking the cycle of abuse through conscious parenting. Janet and Elizabeth share a brave conversation about how emotional suppression distances us from our true selves, which makes caring for our children much harder. Alternatively, awareness of our feelings leads to healing and sets us free. Elisabeth’s website is BeatingTrauma.com where she offers one-on-one coaching, workshops, a blog, a free video series, and much more. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet frequently advises us not to focus on trying to say the "right" words when we’re engaging with our kids. Why? Because regardless of the words we’re using, our children usually sense what we are feeling and how we are perceiving them moment to moment. So, generally, memorized scripts or phrases aren’t going to be as important as our true feelings and intentions. However, in this episode, Janet switches gears to describe 3 situations where our words actually do matter. In these instances, word choices can affect our perceptions of our children, hinder our ability to connect with them, and impede other goals we have as parents. None of us are perfect, of course, nor would our kids wish us to be, but awareness of the impact of our words can make our lives easier. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart into a place where we can calm ourselves enough to genuinely listen, and accept with compassion rather than judgment. In this episode, Janet shares several notes from parents who describe how making the effort to practice this perspective has paid off in major breakthroughs in their relationships with their children. One parent writes: “I have tears in my eyes as I write this because I just didn’t know that this type of connection with anyone, let alone the most important person in my world, was even possible.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet responds to an email from a parent who admits she struggles to establish personal boundaries. She says she has "hit rock bottom" regarding her relationship with her 2-year-old. She tries to set limits and then acknowledge his feelings when he reacts, but he screams and cries, and she can't get her work done. She believes her son is "making it very clear that I need a drastic change if I want our relationship to be a two-way street." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We all have certain hopes and expectations of our children when it comes to their behavior in public settings, both organized and informal. We’re often disappointed. The reality is that in any given situation, not every young child will handle themselves with the kind of interest and attention we desire or expect, even when other children seem to have it all together. Janet offers 9 suggestions for how we can better understand our children’s behavior in these moments and how to support them to benefit from the experiences. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As conscious parents, we're doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children's behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids' lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. It’s inevitable our kids will encounter situations that confuse, baffle, or even frighten them. So, what do we do when our kids are faced with these new and uncomfortable situations? And what is the best way to interact gracefully and helpfully with parents who aren’t on the same page? Janet shares 3 notes from parents whose kids have experienced unpleasant interactions with other children. The parents' instinct was to step in, but they were uncertain how to do that without offending the other parents. Janet explains her perspective and specific advice for handling each of these encounters. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet’s guest this week is Phinnah Chichi, an author, lecturer, and parenting coach whose inspired ideas and worldview help to educate and empower both teens and their parents. Phinnah’s work and philosophy dovetail with Janet’s focus on infants and toddlers. Both prioritize communication, trust, and connection to encourage emotional and social skills, and ultimately to forge lasting parent/child relationships. Phinnah's website: parentingteenssolutions.com. Her book is available on Amazon. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do children need from us when they're experiencing intense feelings? What are the best things to say and do to calm their emotional storms? Janet responds to notes from three insightful professionals who express concerns that what they're doing isn't working. Janet validates their perspectives and explains why. Then she offers specific recommendations for navigating children's outbursts in a manner that fosters their resilience and a healthy attitude toward emotions while also nurturing trusting relationships. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A mother laments the close relationship she used to enjoy with her daughter before having another child. Lately, her daughter has been testing limits, and she has found herself losing both her patience and her temper. “I really don’t want to continue this way with my daughter.” She’s wondering if Janet has any advice how she can remain calm and confident when her daughter seems intent on pushing her buttons. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With the best of intentions, we can invalidate our kids in subtle ways that make it harder for them to move through their feelings in a healthy manner. Janet responds to three questions from listeners who each recount a specific difficulty they’re experiencing with their kids’ behaviors. These are thoughtful, patient, respectful parents, yet their problems seem to persist. They feel they just can’t get through to their child. Janet identifies a common thread in these parents’ stories and explains how and why they could be inadvertently invalidating their children’s feelings. She offers suggestions for how they might look beyond the problem to understand and address the cause. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It can be confounding when our children behave in negative ways after we've told them umpteen times it’s wrong. Surely they’re aware that we don’t approve! And yet, they repeat the behavior no matter how frustrated, annoyed, or angry we get. Janet offers her perspective on this dynamic while answering a question from the mom of a short-tempered 6-year-old. This boy's father believes certain behaviors are simply unacceptable because their son is “old enough to know better,” but this mom isn't as sure and wonders if Janet can clarify what they should realistically expect for a child their son’s age. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. You can find the Mr. Chazz videos that Janet mentions at: tiktok.com/@mrchazzmrchazz. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impacting their daily lives. Andrew says: "Trauma robs you of the freedom to choose how you react." Lavinia and Andrew describe some of the common signs of trauma and repressed emotions, how they recognized their own, and how their respective coaching practices enable parents to process these emotions by connecting with the needs of their inner child. Reach Lavinia at LaviniaBrown.com. Her Instagram is LaviniaBrownCoaching. Reach Andrew at AndrewLynn.net, or on Instagram at Andrew.g.Lynn. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s podcast, Janet breaks format slightly by sharing back-and-forth interactions she's had with listeners and her reflections about these exchanges. In the first, a parent eloquently describes a revelation about his children’s challenging behaviors and how they can bring out his best self. The second exchange explores the nuances of navigating boundaries and the messages we unintentionally give children by walking on eggshells vs. welcoming their feelings. Janet connects these discussions by noting how they both express what putting love into action really means with our kids. Exciting news: Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available now at: NoBadKidsCourse. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet responds to 3 separate messages from parents who are having issues with their children that are making them confused and unsure of themselves. While the details of the children's behaviors all differ, Janet identifies a common theme in the parents’ reactions and attitudes that she believes is perpetuating the behavior. She offers suggestions for how these parents can shift their perspective, gain more confidence in their role as leaders, and respond in a manner that resolves the true need behind the "wants" their children are expressing. Janet's No Bad Kids Master Course is available now: http://nobadkidscourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A frustrated parent writes that she and her partner are feeling like failures because their 2.5-year-old is pushy and demanding to the point that they end up losing their patience and yelling. Most challenging of all is that the toddler screams when she doesn’t get her way -- and sometimes for no reason at all. Occasionally, they've screamed right back. “I know,” this parent admits, “a very low point.” Janet offers insights as to the cause of the child's behavior and a perspective shift to help ease this mom’s concerns while also improving their parent-child relationship dynamics. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we need to --- depleting our energy with roles and tasks that are better left to our child. In this episode, Janet offers ideas for lightening our workload by recognizing and trusting our children's intrinsic abilities. Janet's job description reframe can help save our energy, nurture self-confidence, and at the same time foster a flourishing parent-child relationship. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope with her situation when everything feels like a compromise. “Most of the time I feel like they’re either fighting with each other or fighting over me,” she says. “It’s exhausting.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet replies to the concerns of 3 different families who all share that they're struggling with their children's controlling, inflexible, and, in one case, possessive behaviors. The children range in age from 2 to 6, and Janet observes they all appear to have personalities on the intense side. One parent is particularly worried about how her son treats his peers when he doesn't get his way. She writes: "I worry he will lose friends or be unable to form deep connections if he yells and screams at his friends like this." Janet suggests a point of view for understanding and addressing these behaviors which can apply to almost any issue parents might face. She also offers examples of responses for the specific behaviors in each of these situations. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available for pre-order at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet shares what she describes as her most valuable advice for parents -- a mindset that brings clarity to our role in our children's lives, makes our job more enjoyable and successful, and may even offer us personal growth. Janet explains why and how this perspective works, offers practical examples, and touches on some of the common issues that can get in our way. As parents, we tend to question ourselves: are we doing this parenting thing right, or are we failing? Janet's message is to afford ourselves the same trust and grace we hope to give to our children, to fully believe that we can do this! Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is now available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A parent is uncomfortable with her toddler's tantrums because her child seems so unreachable at these times. The parent's instinct is to reach out, soothe and reassure her child, but she realizes there is no way to get through to her when she's in the midst of it. She's hoping Janet has advice for how she might connect with respect and compassion. Janet's 'No Bad Kids Master Course' is available for pre-order on her website www.janetlansbury.com or at NoBadKidsCourse.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Educator Ashley Causey-Golden was drawn to Montessori principles but felt something missing that she longed to provide: cultural relevancy. She wondered, "What would it look like to create a Montessori space that uplifted, affirmed, celebrated Black children?" Fulfilling this desire has been a journey of discovery and grace (with a lot of mistakes along the way). Ashley's ultimate success gave her the courage to pursue another passion: nature education. As the co-founder of Gather Forest School and creator of Afrocentric Montessori, Ashley has a wealth of experience to share with all families and educators interested in nurturing our children's spirit, sense of community, and connection to the natural world. For more about Ashley and her resources and projects, please visit: https://afrocentricmontessori.com/ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Janet's books are available in paperback and ebook at Amazon.com, and in audio at Audible. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet addresses a parent’s concerns about her daughter’s unwillingness to play independently. She seems to need constant stimulation and entertainment. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com or www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books in paperback at Amazon and in audio at Audible. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We may not always agree with the parenting styles of our relatives and friends, and that's okay. Get-togethers can still be enjoyable, positive social experiences for us and for our kids. In this episode, Janet offers her perspective on some of the common challenges that arise in gatherings with friends, family, and in public situations with other kids and parents. Her suggestions include: How to set ourselves up for success Being proactive, rather than reactive Effective interventions with other parents’ children (as well as our own) Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A concerned parent writes that her 3-year-old seems to be in a constant state of frustration or anxiety, and she makes outlandish demands and cries when she doesn’t get her way. While this mom tries to be compassionate, it’s getting more and more difficult, and she worries that her own postpartum anxiety may have modeled the behavior. She’s looking for healthy ways to help them both cope. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at wwwnobadkidscourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices for stimulation and soothing. She explains how games and devices teach values that are often diametrically opposed to our own, how they can affect learning by shrinking our children’s world and even interfere with parent-child relationships. Ultimately, Susan and Janet focus on the positive actions we can take to lessen the impact of manipulative marketers while realistically acknowledging the role of digitized culture in all of our lives. More to learn in this episode: How to choose the most beneficial toys and programs for our kids How advertisers capture children's attention and encourage them to nag us for more, more, more Why combatting commercialized culture isn't only a family issue, but a societal one What Alexa offers to "bored" children Computer games are less "active" for kids than we might believe For more on Susan, her work, and her books, visit: www.https://www.consumingkids.com/ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses. Which means that instead of enjoying restorative quality time together, we're faced with challenging behavior, high emotions, and discontent. Janet unpacks some of the reasons why evenings can be so difficult for kids and what we can do to help them (and ourselves!). Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet is joined by Nedra Tawwab: therapist, relationship expert, and author of the NY Times best-seller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace.” Nedra and Janet discuss how our personal boundaries with friends, family, co-workers, and children are crucial for building positive, healthy relationships. Nedra emphasizes how boundaries begin with being kinder to ourselves. "We are in relationships from the time we're born,” Nedra says, “and the biggest relationship, the most consistent relationship we have is the one with ourselves. And that is the relationship that I'm constantly trying to improve." Ultimately, the boundaries and self-image we nurture for ourselves teach our children what they deserve in their relationships, now and in the future. For more information and resources from Nedra, including her best-selling book "Set Boundaries, Find Peace," go to: https://www.nedratawwab.com/ Janet's NO BAD KIDS MASTER COURSE is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A parent with a family in transition writes about a series of mischievous and sometimes destructive incidents perpetrated by her toddler. She’s wondering how to address these situations, especially after the fact when the deed is already done. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sleep is an essential element of our happiness and well-being. If our child is not sleeping, then chances are good that we aren’t either. Many families are content with the sleep situations in their households, and more power to them. Others seek advice and solutions because they struggle night after night. Still others fear that making any kind of change in their approach could threaten their attachment bond and are resigned to waiting months, even years, for their children's sleep patterns to improve. They've been led to believe that this is the only natural, gentle, or respectful way. Sleep specialist Eileen Henry's perspective is neither "cry it out" nor "wait it out," but a middle way that prioritizes attachment and is rooted in science and nature. "We don't train children to sleep,” she says. “We create a physical and emotional environment that allows sleep to come naturally." Visit Eileen's website at: http://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury and NoBadKidsCourse. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet responds to a mother who writes that she tries to sportscast disagreements between her older two children, but since the 2-year-old isn’t verbal yet, “it’s hard when I don’t really know what he’s thinking.” She’s wondering how to sportscast situations effectively without making assumptions about what her boy may be thinking or feeling in that moment. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A frustrated parent who describes herself as “desperate for help” seeks advice about her persistent, high-energy 2.5-year-old, who dominates her and her husband's time and energy with relentless demands to be the focus of their universe -- all day, every day. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our children's impatience and low tolerance for frustration can… well, test our patience! In this week's episode, Janet responds to a question from a listener about how to teach a toddler to be more patient. Janet considers what patience really means to a child, how it develops, and how our expectations as parents and caregivers may get in the way. Her recommendations (as is often the case) may be surprising and counterintuitive. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at nobadkidscourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A parent who’s always been her toddler’s playmate helps her child over the hump to flourish in independent play. Another parent learns to set boundaries, shift her perspective, and accept her child’s meltdowns. Janet shares a special milestone and much more in this latest episode of Unruffled. Thanks to Ritual for sponsoring this episode. Janet's new "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet responds to a parent who wonders how to react to her daughter's consistently stubborn behavior. "I feel like I have a set of tools to handle my 4-year-old daughter's outbursts of emotions, but I am at a loss for what to do when she stoically disobeys or ignores me altogether." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more on respectful parenting solutions, please check out "Sessions", Janet's collection of recorded consultations with parents: www.SessionsAudio.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet responds to an email from a parent who says that lately, she has found herself yelling at her 3-year-old, who’s been having a difficult time since the birth of her brother. She realizes that yelling is not helping her daughter, and it’s not the parent she wants to be. “I’ve really lost control of this parenting thing and need a reset.” Janet new "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ). Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Clinical psychologist Jean Cheng joins Janet to discuss the puzzling, painful, and self-defeating feelings that our children's behaviors can bring up in us as parents. No matter how well educated and prepared we are for this role, we might find ourselves overwhelmed and viscerally reacting by yelling, threatening, or "checking out." Often the answer lies in our own childhoods, in subtle wounds and traumas we may have had no awareness of before becoming parents. Dr. Cheng describes the myriad of ways our parents and caregivers – while often doing their very best – may have left wounds. She illuminates “this inner landscape of feelings” that our brains tend to minimize but which can manifest in a lack of self-confidence, an inability to maintain boundaries, and “reactions that are different from the kind of parents we want to be.” Janet and Jean discuss ways to recognize and acknowledge our childhood wounds and address them with empathy and compassion. Janet's new 'No Bad Kids Master Course' is available at nobadkidscourse.com and www.janetlansbury.com. You can contact Dr. Jean Cheng on these platforms: https://instagram.com/jeanpsychologist https://www.facebook.com/jeanpsychologist/ Website: https://www.talithakoumpsychology.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet helps a struggling parent understand her spirited toddler’s aggressive behavior and offers suggestions to respond more effectively. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we help our children benefit from the privilege of extracurricular activities? At what age should we enroll our kids in lessons and sports? Janet has a child-centered approach that not everyone will agree with, but she believes is "too good not to share." She discusses how parents can discern their child's readiness and describes the benefits and challenges of making readiness our priority. She shares how her approach keeps the big picture in mind while also saving time and money and alleviating many of the concerns and frustrations that parents have expressed to her over the years. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ATFwkb Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It can be so hard to separate from our children sometimes! Particularly if they cry, seem anxious, or strongly object. How can we prepare our children (and ourselves) for a successful transition? Janet responds to emails from two different families struggling with goodbyes at school drop-off and offers recommendations for a helpful and respectful approach to handling all transitions and separations. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The practice of acknowledging our children's feelings and struggles can provide healing, calming messages of safety and acceptance. With a genuine tone and a few words, our acknowledgments can help children share pent-up emotions, feel seen and heard, and gradually regulate, which in turn eases problematic behaviors. However, parents commonly share with Janet that validating feelings doesn't work for their child and feels more like an exercise in frustration. Janet speaks to some of the common reasons this practice might feel less effective, what to do instead, and why we shouldn't give up on acknowledging as a powerfully empathic relationship-building tool. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The mother of two boys feels they are constantly testing her limits and always at her side demanding attention. They won’t allow her a moment to handle daily chores like laundry or cooking, never mind her personal needs. “They think it’s funny, “ she writes, “and I undoubtedly lose my patience. I feel like they just don’t listen to whatever limit I’ve set.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet shares an exchange she had with a parent who wonders how anyone can possibly live up to the extreme idealism of "gentle parenting." She writes: “It sounds so lovely… but it’s also crushing to never be able to live up to despite having all the tools and knowledge.” While "gentle parenting" is not a term Janet uses, she understands that it's a catch-all for recent discussions and news articles about parenting philosophies. In response, Janet shares her own mental and emotional struggles as a new mother striving for perfectionism as she tried to put Magda Gerber’s teachings into practice. She describes moments of frustration, feelings of failure and being judged, and how through her own experiences of self-doubt and criticism, she learned to give herself permission to be an imperfect parent in a process. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices