Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Do you often get frustrated or maybe even sad because it seems you're the only one working on your marriage? Like, your spouse is "in it," but he/she doesn't seem to take the marriage seriously. You often feel taken for granted, or you feel like you take two steps forward and twelve steps back? Today's episode is just what you need to hear. This is a sweet repeat (an oldie but goodie)... a listener's question that I answered live on the podcast.  My answer still holds true. And it will still work for you, too.  Why You Should Listen?  You’ll learn how to: Change your step in the 'marriage dance' Switch your focus  Overcome frustration when nothing seems to be working Get a new perspective Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Is your relationship recovering from infidelity? Learn about my Infidelity Intensive here. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube   Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

As a marriage coach, I know firsthand how unspoken and unrealistic expectations can quietly sabotage even the strongest marriages. In this episode, I'm sharing practical strategies to help you define, communicate, and realign your expectations so you and your spouse can avoid unnecessary disappointment and disconnection. We'll talk about the five most common unrealistic expectations couples face, including the beliefs that our spouse should never change, should make us happy, or should simply know what we're thinking. I share some of my own personal stories—like how my expectation for Shaun to be the spiritual leader in our home led to unnecessary disappointment and what I learned about the roots of where that specific expectation came from. You’ll learn how to: Get curious together instead of assuming your way is the only way Stay flexible and open to growth as both you and your spouse change Collaborate and celebrate your unique strengths as a couple Let go of the pressure to change each other Develop a gratitude mindset for a more joyful marriage Resources mentioned in this episode: Get your copy of my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Related episodes:  Ep. 126 - How to Create a Marriage Vision Ep. 304 - 4 Expectations Every Marriage Should Have   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Before you get married, there are several important conversations you need to have. In this episode, I'm sharing 12 emotionally healthy questions every couple should ask before getting married. Whether you’re single, engaged, or already married and just want to build deeper intimacy with your spouse, these conversation starters will help you avoid pitfalls and create a lasting connection in your relationship. Many people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations and without the preparation they truly need. That's why I'm walking you through twelve powerful questions designed to spark vulnerable conversations—including how to make your partner feel heard, set appropriate boundaries with friends, handle conflict, address emotional wounds, and discover your emotional health meters. You’ll discover: The essential questions to identify what makes you (and your partner) feel loved, valued, and understood How to recognize and talk about emotionally unsafe behaviors that can sabotage connection The importance of knowing how you and your partner respond to hurt, stress, and burnout—and why you need to see each other at your worst as well as your best before tying the knot Strategies for reconnecting after conflict and not taking each other for granted Why sharing your dreams, emotional needs, and even moments of sadness can set the stage for greater intimacy and emotional health I also dive into how friendship dynamics must shift when you get married (yes, even those platonic besties!) and I break down why recognizing your own patterns—and understanding your partner’s—is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Download my free audio guide, 7 Secret Marriage Rules to Know Before I Do and After I Did Grab your copy of my brand new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples. If you’re engaged, thinking about marriage, or want to refresh and deepen your connection, these 12 questions will transform the way you communicate and understand each other.   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves—marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work? In this episode, I break down five reasons your marriage might feel difficult right now, and more importantly, how to fix it. Even good couples go through seasons of tension, frustration, and emotional distance but understanding the root causes of your marriage problems can change everything. I talk about how communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, unresolved hurt, and emotional disconnection can slowly impact the health of your relationship. If you want to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy, this episode will help you see what might be happening and where to start. This episode is especially helpful if you are: Struggling with conflict in your marriage Feeling emotionally disconnected from your spouse Trying to rebuild trust after relationship challenges Looking for faith-based encouragement for your marriage Marriage can be hard at times, but so can nearly everything in life. Ultimately, life is full of choices, including choosing your hard. Maintaining self-control despite challenges or engaging in destructive behaviors are both hard in their own ways. Choose wisely. Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Ep. 288: 7 Traits to Create a More Resilient Relationship Enter to win the "100 Book Reviews Contest" for Tried and True Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True companion devotional here   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you? What do you do when you feel like you’re coming in second place in your marriage, or as I call it, “playing second fiddle.”  I open up about with wisdom straight from my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, specifically taking you into the story of Jacob and Leah from the book of Genesis. If you’ve ever felt undervalued, overlooked, or like you just can't win your spouse’s affection—this episode is for you. Plus, I'll unpack key conversation starters you can use to reconnect with your spouse and discuss these feelings in a healthy, constructive way. And, I’ll close out with a special prayer to cover you and your marriage. Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode: What “playing second fiddle” looks like in marriage today Lessons from Jacob and Leah: How God values those who feel unseen How insecurity shows up—in-laws, kids, friends, or “ideals” Why your worth and purpose can’t come from your spouse alone Two powerful conversation starters to cultivate security and intimacy A prayer for healing, unity, and renewed value in your marriage Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Understanding how to offer meaningful support and help to those you love, especially during moments of grief or difficulty, is a skill worth learning. Let's explore the core question everyone should learn to ask: “Do you need a hug? Do you need help? Or do you need to be heard?” After going through a painful time, I reflect on grief and the unique ways we process pain. Sometimes, the greatest support we can offer someone isn’t advice, but presence. Inspired by a coaching session with one of my clients, I learned three powerful questions that have shaped the way I communicate and the ways in which I offer help. You're going to love this one.  The Money Question When someone you love is hurting, pause and ask: Do you need a hug? Do you need help? Do you need to be heard? This question helps break down emotional barriers and lets your partner, friend, or family member know you’re there for them in the way they need, not just in the way you want to give. Episode Highlights: Hugs: Hugs are healing. There is power in a simple embrace that can build connection and foster safety, sometimes more than words ever could. Help: Offering help is about respecting boundaries and waiting until your loved one is ready for advice. Ask before you jump in! Heard: The art of listening – not just hearing – is crucial. Learn to ask clarifying questions and listen with empathy to deepen your bond. A Practical Affirmation:Here's a simple affirmation you can use: “I am emotionally aware enough to help my [spouse/friend/partner] in their time of need.” Small shifts in how we communicate can make a lasting difference. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Ep. 89: “7 Tips to Become a Better Listener” Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Have you heard of 'ABC Dating'? It's a unique and fun way to keep date nights fresh by building each outing around a different letter of the alphabet. I'm joined in this episode by my friend and fellow marriage coach, Sylvia Chipman, as we share personal stories, lots of laughs, and practical advice on how couples can break free from relationship ruts, regardless of budget or time constraints. From axe throwing in the backyard, to gelato and mini golf, to even tackling game nights at home, you’ll hear how intentional date night planning—even on a tight budget—can spark joy and rekindle connection in any marriage or relationship. The episode also tackles common challenges like financial limitations, busy schedules, and the importance of connecting without distractions (yes, that means putting down your phone). Whether you’re newly married or celebrating decades together, this episode is packed with inspiration and relatable wisdom for couples hoping to reinvigorate their relationship—one letter at a time. I truly believe dating is fuel for your marriage, so get ready for creative ideas, heartwarming stories, and lots of encouragement for rebuilding “us” in your marriage! Key Takeaways:  Dating isn't just for new couples: Whether it’s ABC Dating or another creative approach, the message is clear: dating isn’t just for new couples. It’s a lifeline for any marriage wanting to grow Connection must be intentional: Stay connected to your spouse through laughter, spontaneity, and teamwork Dates don't have to cost a lot: You can have inexpensive and fun times together—times that rejuvenate your relationship and deepen your connection. Focus on each other, not your phone: Put the phones away, leave the kids with someone you trust, and take time for each other. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Learn more about Sylvia's Thrive Marriage Coaching.  Get Dana's new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you feel disconnected or emotionally distant from your spouse? You're likely growing apart or feeling apathy in your relationship and want to know how to stop the drift. Today, I'm sharing some key insights and actionable steps to help you start rebuilding connection—even when things feel hopeless or aloof. I’ll break down the major causes of apathy in marriage and relationships—from emotional wounding and exhaustion to fear and misunderstanding—and I’ll share practical, actionable steps to start rebuilding your connection right now. Whether you’ve taken my scientifically-backed Partner Quiz and scored “apathetically aloof,” or you simply recognize the signs of emotional detachment, you’ll find encouragement and hope in this episode. I talk about the importance of vulnerability, having hard conversations, and the monumental power of forgiveness in making real progress. You’ll also hear how focusing on reconnection (instead of just fixing problems!) can reignite your emotional intimacy. Plus, I highlight simple resources like my online connection course, designed to fit into busy lives and help you move forward with confidence. If you’re ready to move away from apathy and toward authentic connection, this episode will give you the tools and motivation to start. Don’t give up on your marriage—there is always a path back to hope and intimacy! Key Takeaways:  Apathy Isn’t the End—It’s a Symptom: If you’re feeling apathetic, it’s often the result of past wounds, exhaustion, or fear. You’re not a bad partner; you’re likely protecting yourself after being hurt. Someone Has to Go First: Rebuilding connection takes courage. If you’re listening, “tag, you’re it!” Initiate the conversation. Vulnerability opens the door to marital healing. Forgiveness & Intentionality Rekindle Relationships: Focusing on reconnecting (instead of just the problems) and practicing forgiveness can transform your relationship. Go back to the habits and rhythms that made your relationship thrive in the first place. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Take the Partner Quiz to see how connected you really are. Sign up for my Connection Course  Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples   Listen, share, and start rebuilding with me—because your marriage can make it! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Valentine’s Day is almost here, and for many people, this holiday doesn’t always feel like a celebration, especially if you’re feeling disconnected or discouraged. You are definitely not alone—and this episode is packed with practical ideas you may have never considered to help you reconnect on Valentine's Day and beyond. Here's your cheat code for making Valentine’s Day meaningful, even when times are tough: Lighten the Load with Laughter Spend Time with Your Little Loves Face the Elephant in the Room Do Something Different Love Anyway  Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about big gifts or grand gestures. Remember, it’s the little things. The goal? Intentionally choose connection, even if it’s awkward, imperfect, or different from years before. Which tip will YOU try this year?Drop your answer below or DM @MrsDanaChe to share your story! Let’s make this Valentine’s Day a turning point in your marriage.  Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Get my new book: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples    Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you're focusing on fixing the emotional or relational problems in your marriage but haven't addressed your spiritual disconnection, your efforts won't go as far or last as long. In today's episode, we're getting to the heart of why so many couples struggle in their marriages. From my experience coaching couples, I see marriage problems like poor communication or emotional distance are often symptoms of a deeper problem—spiritual disconnection. I believe marriage is about more than just connecting physically or emotionally; it requires an ongoing, strong spiritual bond as well. There are three main ways we connect in marriage:  Physical connection - good, but it isn’t strong enough to sustain a marriage. Emotional connection - better, but still incomplete Spiritual connection - best...the truest foundation that brings the deepest unity In order to close the emotional gap in your marriage, you have to build a stronger foundation than feelings alone.  Key Takeaways:  Understanding the cross and how marriage is a reflection of God How personal responsibility allows you to become more resilient through trials Becoming aware of how distractions keep you away from your real power The triangle analogy and why growing closer to God automatically grows you closer to your spouse  Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you sometimes struggle with how to pray for your marriage? In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the five powerful ways you can cover your marriage in prayer—and how to actually pray with confidence, intention, and results. Whether you're a seasoned prayer warrior or just starting out, you’ll leave with a super-practical template that makes praying for your spouse simple and heartfelt. In today’s “sweet repeat,” I guide you through the acronym COVER: Compassion, Oneness, Vigor, Expectation, and Readiness, and show you how to apply each one as you pray over your relationship. Get ready to move beyond the typical “help my spouse have a good day” and into deeper, more meaningful prayers that can transform your connection. Key Takeaways: Why prayer is essential for your marriage: It’s not just about doing all the right things or attending another marriage conference, but about inviting God to truly work in your relationship. How COMPASSION sets the tone: Start from a place of humility and empathy, not judgment or resentment. The power of ONENESS: Discover how unity in marriage is a living witness to the world and why praying for oneness is so important. Why VIGOR matters: Bring energy, enthusiasm, and genuine effort into your prayers, even when you feel weary. Praying with EXPECTATION: Approach God believing He hears you and wants to respond to your faith-filled prayers. The importance of READINESS: Prayer isn’t a monologue; prepare to hear from God—and be open to what He might ask you to do! I’ll also share practical prayer topics—like unity, wisdom, protection, strength, resilience, and peace—to help you get started or go deeper in your prayer life. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: My brand new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, is available now! Visit triedandtruemarriagebook.com to grab your copy and get the FREE 5-Day devotional to start you on the right foundation.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's story time! Come and listen to how an ancient story about Deborah the judge can teach us to break free from traditional gender roles and society's expectations. I’m excited to share an excerpt from my brand-new book, “Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples,” which highlights Deborah's incredible leadership, her secure identity in God, and her husband Lappidoth's quiet strength and support. Key Takeaways: Why women are NOT second-class citizens in God’s kingdom and how our calling matters How men can champion their wife’s gifts and leadership without comparison and competition  Practical tips on honoring one another’s unique roles, shaking off cultural pressures, and letting your relationships be Spirit-led. Why You Should Listen: This episode isn’t just for those struggling with gender roles in marriage—it’s an invitation for everyone to reflect on what God has called YOU to do. If you’ve ever felt pressured to fit a certain template or questioned your role, you’ll find comfort, inspiration, and practical encouragement here. Quick Links: Pre-order the book: Triedandtruemarriagebook.com Purposeful Quote:“We were created equal in the sight of God. The irrevocable call of God applies to women and men alike.” – Dana Che Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Because many couples do not. Emotional connection in marriage isn't just a “nice to have,” but truly a foundational priority for every relationship. Drawing from chapter one of my newest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, I explore the original couple from the Bible, Adam and Eve, and what their story teaches us about shame, emotional safety, and intimacy. I walk you through the real reason emotional disconnection happens—even in marriages that appear “just fine” on the outside. Sometimes it’s not a crisis or trauma, but a subtle emotional chasm that grows over time because of unaddressed issues like shame, self-protection, defensiveness, harsh communication, and even minimizing feelings. I share practical, actionable advice—five things to watch for that break down emotional safety, and five intentional ways you can rebuild trust, openness, and genuine intimacy with your spouse. Key Takeaways: Why emotional connectivity is a marriage requirement, not a bonus The key differences between boundaries and emotional walls How both men and women have a critical need for emotional safety (and why men may keep their guard up) The “big five” behaviors that damage emotional safety—including harsh words, defensiveness, minimizing, unforgiveness, and judgment Simple but powerful tips to rebuild emotional safety: listening well, asking thoughtful questions, affirming your spouse, and always focusing on your love Straightforward actions you can take today—even without a marriage coach—to move your relationship from disconnected to deeply connected If you’ve ever felt a disconnect in your marriage—even if everything looks good on the outside—this episode is for you. I’m sharing honest reflections, practical advice, and biblical wisdom to help you rebuild emotional safety, intimacy, and lasting connection with your spouse. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Learn more and pre-order my new book, Tried and True How Your Attachment Style Affects Emotional Connection Want to stay connected all week? Join my email community and get all the good on all things Dana Che. Be sure to subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and pre-order Tried and True at danache.com/triedandtrue to learn even more ways to strengthen your marriage from the inside out! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What do diamonds, pearls, and gold have in common? They must all endure pressure and irritants to produce what is precious. The truth is that in marriage and in life, we most often grow through our pain and our trials, not our successes. The pressure is meant to forge a greater purpose in you. When you trust the process, you realize it is producing in you something that far outweighs anything you can imagine. This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like God has abandoned you or left you in your pain too long. It's also deeply encouraging for marriages and will help you to see beyond your problems and reframe your pain.  If you’re feeling tension, loneliness, or just wondering why marriage has to be so hard, allow this episode to lift you. Learn how to trust the process God is working in your life and how to discover the greater purpose behind your pain. Plus, I share encouragement from Scripture, practical ways to shift your perspective, and why surrender is the key to breakthrough. Key Takeaways:  Pressure reveals our hidden potential. Process is what helps us to learn how to trust what we can't always see  Purpose makes it all worth it  My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!  Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

From unmet expectations to trust issues and loneliness in marriage, this episode exposes eight conversations you're likely avoiding in your marriage and how it's causing the disconnection gap to widen. I open up with a personal story about my own struggles with fear and avoidance (including a wild trip to the urgent care!), and how these emotions often hold us back from tackling topics that really matter. The Conversations You're Likely Avoiding in Your Marriage: Unmet Expectations: Many couples never openly discuss what they thought marriage would look like—and how reality has shifted those expectations. Resentment: Sometimes prayer isn’t enough if you’re still nursing bitterness, unforgiveness, or past hurts. You can’t heal what you refuse to acknowledge. Boundaries: Every relationship needs boundaries—even healthy ones. Yet many avoid discussing what’s acceptable, what’s not, and where limits should be set. Disappointments: Small disappointments can quietly unravel intimacy if left unspoken. Instead of confronting them, we let them fester. Loneliness in Marriage: There’s no lonelier place than a disconnected marriage, but admitting this vulnerability is often avoided. Trust Issues: Especially after betrayal or big mistakes, couples might choose not to re-visit trust conversations for fear of reopening wounds or “rocking the boat.” Conversations About the Future: Many avoid talking about end-of-life issues, financial planning, retirement, and other future-focused topics. Celebrating Wins: Sometimes, couples even avoid sharing their successes if there’s secret competition or fear of triggering jealousy. Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!  Get my FREE Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict  Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True Devotional in anticipation of my new book release! Other helpful Rebuilding Us podcast episodes: 5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Confidence When Marriage is Harder than You Ever ExpectedSupport the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you’ve found yourself disappointed, grieving unmet expectations, or questioning whether your relationship is supposed to feel this tough, you're not alone. It's a struggle that many couples face but rarely talk about openly—what to do when marriage is much harder than you ever expected.  Plenty of couples walk down the aisle brimming with hope and expectation. After all, we’re conditioned to, right? The advice pours in from all sides before the big day: “Marriage takes work!” “There will be hard times!” But few truly believe the hard times will come for them. Most of us believe we’re the exceptions. But disappointment is “part of the package” of marriage. It’s not pessimism—it’s reality. So, what DO you do with disappointment? Pretending everything is fine isn’t the answer. Nor is simply waiting for time to heal all wounds. Deliberate action is required to address and heal those emotional wounds.  Key Takeaways: Expect Drifting—and Intentionally Fight It Don’t Lower Your Expectations. Negotiate Them. When You Marry the “Wrong Person” (Or So You Think) Pressure Reveals, It Doesn’t Destroy Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!  For those who want to go deeper, get the free 5-day devotional companion to Tried and True, designed to help struggling couples reflect and reconnect. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I’m joined by my husband, Shaun, to discuss the sometimes complicated world of gift-giving in a relationship. If you’ve ever found yourself debating with your spouse or partner over how much money you spend on gifts, how much is “too much,” or how to honor each other's money habits, this conversation is for you. Shaun and I get real about our different financial personalities—me as the frugal saver who values experiences over things, and Shaun as the generous giver who believes in creating smiles through thoughtful presents. We share how our upbringings shaped these perspectives and how they lead to “spirited” conversations around the holidays, birthdays, and everyday giving. Key Takeaways: Value and respect each other’s approach to giving Don’t go into debt for holiday gifts—find ways to bless your loved ones within your means Set a simple holiday budget or gift limit to relieve stress Recognize when old money stories (like scarcity thinking) are influencing your present Focus on connection—sometimes a heartfelt note means more than any wrapped package Resources Mentioned in this Episode: My new book, Tried and True, is releasing in January 2026! Get on the list to get your FREE 5-day devotional companion at danache.com/triedandtrue. Still looking for simple ways to build connection with your mate? Get my "Ultimate Couple's Playbook" here.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's the most wonderful time of the year—unless your relationship is in trouble. We're taking an honest look at how affection can ebb and flow in your relationship—especially during busy seasons like the holidays. Whether you consider yourself naturally affectionate or not, you'll learn why intentionally nurturing closeness matters for every couple. We're discussing real-life reasons affection can dip, ranging from plain old busyness and fatigue to unresolved wounds and letting family drama in. Plus, you'll hear practical tips to help your relationship not only avoid these "affection dips," but actually grow stronger and more connected in your marriage or relationship—no matter what time of year it is. Key Highlights: Why Affection Dips Signs You’re Losing Connection Intentional Steps for Growth Forgiveness & Healing Family Drama & External Voices Resources Mentioned: Ultimate Couples GuideGet practical tools to strengthen your relationship: danache.com/ultimatecouple Infidelity IntensiveAre you dealing with infidelity in your relationship? Get the help you need to recover from betrayal: danache.com/infidelityintensive Episode on Forgiveness:A step-by-step guide inspired by Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu’s “The Book of Forgiving.” Find the episode at Episode 150. Listener Review Spotlight: A longtime listener shares her thoughts on how the Rebuilding Us podcast has helped her and her husband to have more direct and meaningful conversations. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you struggling with bouncing back after hardship? Are you often tempted to quit things when they get hard? This episode highlights the critical role of resilience in relationships and personal growth. Resilience isn't just about enduring hardships but also becoming stronger because of them. I introduce the 'Seven Cs of Resilience,' which include competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. Listen in as I share personal anecdotes and biblical references to show you how resilience can be developed and applied in various aspects of life, particularly in marriage and relationships. Finally, this episode concludes with a prayer for those struggling to embrace resilience in their lives.Takeaways Resilience is essential for thriving relationships. Resilience can be built through overcoming hardships. How resilience builds character Why authentic connection with others strengthens resilience Why resilience is a learned skill, not an innate trait This episode previously ran in October 2024. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Gratitude isn’t just for the easy, feel-good times in your marriage. In this episode, we discuss how to practice real thankfulness—especially when things feel tense, unresolved, or even painful—and some simple, down-to-earth ways to reframe complaints into thanks and spot those tiny moments of hope. If you and your spouse are feeling disconnected or just need a little perspective shift, you’ll find encouragement and super practical advice to help you rebuild, reconnect, and start seeing the good even when life gets messy. Key Takeaways: Real vs. Superficial Gratitude:Gratitude is more than mere positivity or “Instagram thankfulness.” Find gratitude that heals. Why Gratitude Matters in Hard Seasons:Even when it feels like your relationship is "a dumpster fire,” you can intentionally seek out the little things worthy of appreciation. Complaints Reveal Needs:Instead of shaming negative feelings, complaints often signal unmet emotional needs.  A Practical Reframing Exercise:A step-by-step practice to move from complaints to gratitude Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Take the How Connected Are You? Partner Quiz Need marriage coaching? Join Covenant Connections Heal from betrayal with my Infidelity Intensive Program Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I know p*rn isn't a topic that we like to discuss. It brings guilt, embarrassment, pain, and shame. But it's a topic we MUST discuss if we want to have authentic and whole relationships. Parents, your kids are looking at it. Wives, your husbands have it on their phones. Husbands, your wives are secretly into it. Of course, not all, but the numbers are staggering within both faith-based and secular realms. So we're talking about it.  I invited Sathiya Sam back on the podcast (he was a guest four years ago) because he's the real deal. He's got a personal story of being chained to p*rn for many years before he finally got free. And so can you (or the person you love). Parents, listen to this conversation with your children (both boys and girls!) I'll be listening to it with mine. Together, we can bring this conversation out of the dark and into the light so all who want freedom can get free.  Sathiya shares his personal journey and insights on healing from shame and building emotional regulation. Though women engage in p*rn too, Sathiya feels a burden for men, and so together, we unpack the root causes behind the struggles that affect men, women, and the impact on marriages and families. Sathiya also shares practical steps for how to have open communication both at home and in faith communities. Listeners will find hope, resources, and real-world strategies for supporting themselves and loved ones in breaking free from p*rn and restoring authentic connection in their relationships. Resources mentioned in this episode: Man Within Podcast:Find over 1,000 episodes of practical insights for men at Man Within Podcast. Free Book – The Last Relapse:Get Sathiya Sam's free book and learn more about the Deep Clean system at thelastrelapsebook.com. How Connected Are You? Partner Quiz:Dana Che's free resource to gauge connectivity in your relationship: danache.com/partnerquiz. Recover from Infidelity Learn about Dana Che's program, Infidelity Intensive.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In this special episode, you'll learn how to heal your broken heart and rebuild your marriage after infidelity. Many affair-recovery programs are run by those who never experienced infidelity first-hand. Not this one. I share candidly and compassionately our story of how infidelity ransacked our marriage and how we overcame it. If you're feeling embarrassed, ashamed, isolated, or abandoned, you don't have to be. You need a guide to get to where you want to go. I am your guide. Infidelity Intensive is your solution. Learn more about Infidelity Intensive and get started today at danache.com/infidelityintensive.  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Brenda Kennison is back for part two, diving deeper into her remarkable journey of transformation. After hitting rock bottom in the public eye, Brenda rewired her mindset and found true freedom from alcoholism, another failed marriage, and depression. Brenda shares how neuroplasticity and faith worked together to reshape her emotional and spiritual health, shifting her from toxic cycles to a place of healing and healthy relationships. Discover how changing your thoughts really can change your life, especially within your relationships and marriage. You’ll hear practical steps for rewiring the brain, building healthy habits, and breaking free from damaging labels and generational patterns. Plus, Brenda gets real about her own journey through multiple marriages, finding lasting love, and becoming a champion for emotional and spiritual transformation. If you’re ready to take the first step toward real change, this episode will give you the inspiration and tools you need. Dive in for a raw and encouraging conversation about what’s possible when you allow God and practical mindset work to reshape your story! What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Is Alcoholism a Disease?Brenda Kennison shares why she no longer views alcoholism as a disease, and how shifting this perspective empowered her to break free from addiction.  The Power of Neuroplasticity and Scripture:Brenda explains how neuroscience and spiritual truth come together to help rewire the brain. Discover practical ways to “take every thought captive.”  Marriage, Divorce, and Personal Growth:Learn how Brenda’s struggle with perfectionism, shame, and unhealed wounds deeply impacted her first three marriages.  How Unhealed Thoughts Impact Relationships:Brenda offers a practical exercise to help listeners identify how they are currently “showing up” in life: through emotions, behaviors, bodily sensations, and perspectives.  Building a Better Marriage Through Communication:Hear how Brenda and her husband learned to communicate across their differences and love each other according to their unique love languages.  Practical Steps to Rewire Your Brain:Get Brenda’s three-step process of awareness, action, and accountability to transform negative thinking and habits.  Resources Mentioned: Day One of Sobriety Podcast & Ministry – dayoneofsobriety.org How Connected Are You? Partner Quiz by Dana Che Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Brenda Kennison is a certified neuro cycle facilitator and founder of Day One of Sobriety Ministries. She shared her raw, powerful journey from rock bottom—battling addiction, depression, a foiled suicide attempt, and the pain of divorce—to discovering hope, healing, and transformation through science and faith. Brenda Kennison’s story is a reminder that our lowest moments can become the launching pad for lasting change. If you’re ready to renew your mind and rebuild your life, you don’t want to miss this episode! Key Highlights Resilience After Rock BottomBrenda shares how being publicly exposed and humiliated drove her to seek the help she desperately needed and began her healing journey. Cultural Stigmas & Seeking HelpBrenda’s story reveals the deep stigmas around addiction, especially for educators, and the importance of honest conversations and community support. Faith Meets Brain ScienceThe intersection of biblical truth and neuroscience became Brenda’s pathway to true and lasting transformation, challenging the lie that mental health struggles are an unchangeable destiny. The Power of CommunityBrenda credits a loving church community and a pivotal friend (Becky) whose prayers literally helped save her life, emphasizing that transformation requires surrounding yourself with people who see and support you. Redefining SobrietyBrenda expands the definition of sobriety, describing it as a “calm, sound, and disciplined mind rooted in Christ,” inviting listeners to pursue wholeness even if addiction isn’t their specific battle. Generational Healing & LegacyThe conversation touches on breaking generational cycles, finding worth beyond achievement, and providing emotional stability for the next generation. Resources Mentioned Brenda’s Website & Podcast: dayoneofsobriety.orgTake the "How Connected Are You as a Partner" Quiz  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Bestselling author and comedian KevonStage and his wife, Melissa, hosted a podcast called Marriage Be Hard. But what if we could make marriage easier? Marriage can be hard—but it doesn’t have to feel impossible. In today’s episode, I sat down with Arlene Pellicane, bestselling author of “Marriage Made Easier.” We dove into the real reasons why marriages struggle and discussed how putting in the right kind of effort can transform your relationship from mundane to meaningful. If you want practical, down-to-earth habits for building a joyful, lasting connection, this episode is a must-listen. Check out the full conversation for actionable ways to rebuild and strengthen your marriage, starting today! Key Topics & Takeaways Finding the Joy of Marriage:Arlene shares her own positive marriage experience and the importance of fighting for happiness, not just happiness for yourself, but as a shared mission. Making Marriage Fun Again:Both Arlene and I discuss how couples can rekindle fun and playfulness in their relationships, from date nights to shared hobbies—emphasizing that planned fun is spiritual and necessary. Effort Over Easy:Marriage isn’t just hard—it’s effort. Just like running a business, great marriages require a plan, intentionality, and regular investment. Deciding Values in Advance:Arlene advocates for establishing core habits early—like shared meals, device-free table time, and daily rituals—that create connection and security in both marriage and family life. Serving When It’s One-Sided:For those feeling alone in their effort, Arlene offers encouragement rooted in faith, reminding listeners that their unseen acts are meaningful and seen by God, even when a spouse doesn’t notice. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Connect with Arlene’s podcast, "Happy Home Podcast," and purchase her book at Marriage Made Easier  "How Connected Are You?" Take my free and fun quiz to determine your relationship's true connection at danache.com/partnerquiz  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Forgiveness isn't just a gift you give someone else—it's the pathway to your own freedom and growth. In today's episode, I shared how deciding to forgive, even before an apology, can change everything. Forgiveness is not about forgetting the lessons; it's about moving forward—but without the sting, so that you can help others and build stronger connections. Whether in your personal or business relationships, holding onto hurt weighs you down and keeps you stuck. But there's a better (though not always easier) way. When you choose to forgive and remember, you set a powerful example to to others of how to release the person and the hurt. Remembering your story can inspire and heal more people than you realize. If you want some "how-to's" on forgiveness, be sure to check out these episodes:  Ep. 280 - Finding Forgiveness and the Road Back to You Ep. 163 - Beyond Mistakes - Modeling Responsibility and the Steps of Forgiveness Ep. 13 - The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships: Release Them, Restore You More Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Get my 'Ultimate Couple's Checklist' to improve your marriage Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I'm in a new season of life and want to give you a life update—one that will hopefully encourage you where you are in your life. This one is a true testament to the power of dreams, faith, and perseverance. No frilly clichés here, but I'm walking you through what part of my journey has been, where I'm at now, and where I'm headed. 3 Key Takeaways: Don’t Lose Heart: Dreams may take years—or even decades—to come true. The seeds you’re planting today could be part of a much bigger story that unfolds over time. Stay hopeful and keep nurturing those desires. Embrace the Process: There’s always a journey behind every achievement. Whether in your career, relationships, or personal growth, be willing to go through the necessary steps to get to the provision, rather than just wishing for results. Celebrate Your Wins—Guilt-Free: It’s easy to share when things are tough, but don’t feel guilty about your blessings. When something wonderful happens, embrace it, share it, and inspire others with your story. If you’re waiting for your breakthrough—whether it’s a new role, an opportunity, or restoration in a relationship—this episode is a timely reminder to remain patient, faithful, and proactive. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

When should you start working on your marriage? Is it when things start to feel off, or when problems become too big to ignore? Whether you’re single, engaged, newlywed, or several decades in, today's episode will leave you encouraged and equipped to invest in your most important relationship. Key Takeaways Why Couples Wait Too Long:  The story of “Evelyn and David”—a couple married almost 30 years before seeking help—exposing the dangers of delaying support because of perfectionism and pride. Signs Your Marriage Needs Work: Issues like lack of respect, trust, unresolved trauma, financial problems, and putting on appearances can hide beneath the surface for years. What "Doing the Work" Means: Breaking down the practical steps: daily intentionality, confronting your own baggage, setting boundaries, learning to listen, and embracing forgiveness as a way of life. The Power of Premarital Counseling: Why investing in healthy conversations before the ring (or at least before the wedding) can save years of pain down the road. Immediate Next Steps: Encouragement for every listener—single, engaged, or married—to take action today to improve your relationship. Links Mentioned in this Episode:  Get my free Ultimate Couple's Checklist and start seeing changes in your relationship TODAY. Get my weekly newsletter. Sign up at danache.com/email. See Dana Che on the Hampton Roads Show! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a marriage rut—where date nights feel forced and conversations revolve around paying bills—it’s time to look at a form of intimacy you might not be prioritizing: recreational intimacy. On the latest (and final!) episode of this intimacy series, my husband Shaun and I pull back the curtain on how couples can rekindle connection by nurturing their friendship and making space for play, laughter, and adventure together. Key Topics Covered: What is Recreational Intimacy? Shaun kicks off the conversation by defining recreational intimacy as finding fun activities that couples can enjoy together.  The Power (and Struggle) of Friendship in Marriage: We discuss our opposite personalities and preferences, emphasizing that couples don’t need to like all the same things to build a strong friendship.  Creative (and Affordable) Date Ideas: From scavenger hunts to upcoming tips from a future guest about "date nights for cheapskates," this episode is packed with outside-the-box ways to keep dating on a budget.  Practical Advice for Struggling Couples: For couples who feel distant or have lost their friendship, we suggest starting with the basics and pairing conversation with activities like walks or games to reduce pressure and foster connection. The Healing Power of Laughter: We credit humor as a “saving grace” in our 26-year marriage. Don't take things too seriously, and find ways to bring laughter and lightheartedness back into daily life. Tips for Parents & Busy Couples: Whether it’s finding brief moments alone while kids are at preschool or doing creative home "dates" after bedtime, the message is clear: prioritize your friendship and fun, no matter your season of life. Quote Highlights: “You don’t have to like the same things because you’re in a relationship. You are naturally going to have to learn to like some of the things that your spouse likes.” “If you can laugh, you can have a friendship. Laughter can get you through the hard times.” “Don’t allow your friendship to go because at the end of the day, your kids are going to grow up and leave, and you’re going to be left with this person.” Resources & Links: Download your free Intimacy Series Guide: danache.com/intimacyseries Get your free Ultimate Couples Checklist here. Apply for my Covenant Connections group coaching   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We're talking all about intellectual intimacy—what I like to call “brain bonding" in this episode. We spend so much time talking about emotional connection and physical intimacy in marriage, but let me tell you a secret: connecting through ideas, learning, curiosity, and thought-provoking conversations can completely change the game in your relationship. I open up about a time I was really vulnerable in my own marriage and how an intellectual connection outside of my relationship showed me just how powerful “brain bonding” can be—both for good and for potential danger if it isn’t happening at home. I want to help you experience this kind of closeness with your spouse and see them in a whole new light. In This Episode What Is Intellectual Intimacy?I explain how intellectual intimacy is about the closeness that comes from sharing thoughts, dreams, and conversations.  Brain Bonding Quiz (Interactive Exercise):I walk you through a quiz to help you and your spouse see where you stand in this area right now. It’s a simple scoring system that gives you a snapshot of your current “brain bond.” Why Intellectual Intimacy Matters:If you’ve ever felt bored or stuck in your marriage, you’re not alone! I share why keeping curiosity and deep conversations alive is crucial for staying connected and avoiding dangerous disconnects. Barriers to Intellectual Intimacy:We talk about the common things that get in the way—like not even knowing this kind of connection mattered, feeling intimidated, etc. How to Build Intellectual Intimacy: Ask better questions. Move past “how was your day?” and get curious about your spouse’s thoughts and experiences. Learn something together. Whether it’s reading, listening to a podcast, or learning about a new topic, do it as a team. Debate respectfully. It’s okay to see things differently—what matters is how you talk about it. And more Your Homework:At the end of the episode, I challenge you to: Pick a Rebuilding Us podcast episode (or a YouTube video I’ve done!) and listen separately, then come together and talk about it. Ask your spouse one thoughtful, below-the-surface question this week.   Resources & Links Join My Group Coaching Community: danache.com/covenantconnections Podcast Show Notes and More: danashay.com/podcast Also listen to Ep. 364 - Chemistry or Intimacy? Get your FREE Intimacy Guide: for interactive tools to assess your intimacy Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube   Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo of One Extraordinary Marriage are here to help us improve our sexual intimacy! If you're ready to transform your marriage and reignite the passion, join me and this legendary duo for a candid and hope-filled conversation on sexual intimacy, healing, and how a chance "sex challenge" changed everything in their marriage. In this episode, you’ll discover: What REALLY builds intimacy in the bedroom (it’s not just about sex!) The difference between physical and sexual intimacy How Tony & Alisa’s famous 60-Day Sex Challenge changed their marriage—and led to a worldwide movement How to talk honestly about your bedroom struggles and why authenticity is the secret sauce Tips for being present, not perfect, in your sex life What to do if your marriage is going through a “sexless” phase…and so much more! Plus, don’t miss my real-life advice for working through resentment, getting intentional about connection, and building a marriage legacy that lasts for generations. This episode will bless couples at every stage, from newlyweds to marriage vets! Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Find out your strongest intimacy pillar at onextraordinarymarriage.com/quiz.  Purchase the 6 Pillars of Intimacy book Download my FREE Intimacy Series guide here.  Learn more about my marriage group "Covenant Connections" here. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Emotional intimacy is a cornerstone you can’t ignore if you’re on a journey to deeper, more authentic relationships—whether in your marriage, friendships, or even workplace. We're joined in this episode by psychotherapist and author Jessica Baum to discuss attachment styles. This is a goldmine for anyone who craves real connection or wonders why emotional closeness sometimes feels out of reach. Let’s dig into the episode’s biggest insights, actionable takeaways, and why understanding your attachment style might be the key to transforming your relationships for good. Key Takeaways:  What is Emotional Intimacy?  Intro to Attachment Theory Can You Change Your Attachment Style Intensity vs. Intimacy The Importance of Emotional Presence Resources Mentioned: Jessica's Free "Attachment Blueprint" and link to her new book: SAFE. Dana Che's Free Intimacy Series Guide to create more intimacy in your relationships.   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Former NLF player turned church pastor, Derwin Gray, and his beautiful wife, Vicki, share wisdom drawn from over 33 years of marriage, their journey from a lopsided spiritual partnership to unified faith, and practical ways couples can cultivate deep spiritual intimacy—no matter their starting point. Notable Quotes Derwin: “Intimacy is ‘into me, you see.’ … It’s a position of vulnerability. … The blood of Jesus either declares me righteous or it doesn’t. That frees me to be able to give myself to my wife.” Vicki: “Letting Jesus change you—that’s what’s going to draw your spouse … learning to just ‘be’ with Jesus and trust Him to reflect light through you.” Dana Che: “If your security isn’t rooted in Christ, you look at your spouse as an enemy, instead of the helper they were created to be.” Resources Mentioned Get Derwin's Book: Lit Up With Love by Dr. Derwin Gray  Get your FREE Intimacy Series Guide here. Register for the upcoming online "Marriage Reset" Workshop Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Whether you've been married for decades or are just starting out, this episode will help you understand intimacy in all its facets (beyond the bedroom) and how to cultivate the kind of deep connection that produces positive fruit in your relationship.  Key Takeaways: Defining Intimacy: My personal definition—“being fully known and knowing fully”—plus learn the biblical and practical roots of true intimacy. Vulnerability and Trust: Why being “naked and unashamed” goes beyond just the physical, and why you can’t have true vulnerability without trust. Common Misconceptions: We're busting myths about intimacy—it's not just about sex, titles, or knowing trivia about your spouse. The 5 Types of Intimacy: Spiritual Intimacy: The highest form of connection, involving shared values, faith, and worldview. Learn how to deepen spiritual intimacy even if you and your spouse don’t agree on everything spiritual. Emotional Intimacy: Building trust through sharing feelings, vulnerability, and honest communication. Physical Intimacy: More than sex! This is about affectionate touch and physical closeness that isn’t always sexual. Intellectual Intimacy: Connecting through shared ideas, learning, and stimulating conversation—even if your interests differ. Recreational Intimacy: Having fun together and sharing leisure activities to keep the spark alive. Practical Homework: Strengthen two areas this week: spiritual intimacy (Hint: ask your spouse how to improve it), and recreational intimacy (Do something fun together). Resources & Links Get Your Free Intimacy Series Guide: Self-checks, assessments, and tips to help you and your spouse deepen your connection. Related Content: What to Do When Your Husband Does Not Lead Spiritually (YouTube Video) Episodes on sexless marriages YouTube + Podcast episode Key Quotes “Intimacy is being fully known and knowing fully.” “You can’t have vulnerability without trust.” “Being a Christian doesn’t guarantee spiritual intimacy—shared values and open communication do.” “Physical intimacy is more than sex. Even long hugs or holding hands matter.” “Don’t forget to have FUN in your marriage!” Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We've all been given some bad marriage advice from well-meaning folks. But what if that bad marriage advice is ruining your intimacy? My guest, Monica Tanner, and I discuss what helpful marriage advice couples should focus on instead. Monica shares wisdom from her upcoming book, Bad Marriage Advice, and how this relates to intimacy. Let's stop the crazy cycle and lean into the hard truths and practical steps needed to create lasting intimacy and connection in marriage. Key Takeaways: Bad Marriage Advice (And Why It Backfires):You'll laugh and commiserate about the terrible marriage clichés we’ve all heard—like "happy wife, happy life," "don’t go to bed angry," and more. The Power of the Pause:The wisdom of taking a break during heated moments instead of forcing a late-night resolution.  Intimacy Isn’t Automatic—It’s Cultivated:Intimacy was not always present in our marriages and has required time, personal growth, and intentionality to develop. Debunking the “You’ve Changed” Myth:Change is natural. The key is staying curious and engaged with your partner’s growth rather than resenting natural changes. From Lazy Communication to Loving Curiosity:You just have to listen to this one to grab the nuggets Collaboration Over Compromise:Using real-life examples, Monica and Dana model what it looks like to approach differences (early bird/night owl dynamics, for instance) with teamwork rather than resentment or forced compromise. Quotable Moments: “At the root of all the bad marriage advice is lazy communication.” – Monica Tanner “There is no greater investment of your time than building a marriage that is healthy and whole.” – Dana Che Resources Mentioned: Monica Tanner’s Website & Book Info: monicatanner.com Dana Che’s Free Intimacy Series Guide: danache.com/intimacyseries Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Is it chemistry or intimacy that keeps a relationship going strong? In today's episode, we discuss how chemistry gets you in the door, but intimacy is what keeps you in the room. When I first started dating my husband, it was electric: the butterflies, the late-night talks, the “I can’t stop thinking about you” feeling. We used to talk on the phone until we literally fell asleep listening to each other breathe! (Does anyone still do that these days?) Back then, I felt on top of the world. But was it love… or just chemistry? Here’s the truth: that exhilarating rush draws you together, but it doesn’t always last—and it’s not the whole picture. Too many relationships end too early because people are yearning for chemistry alone. In today's episode, we're discussing the essential differences—and connections—between chemistry and intimacy in marriage. I'll explain why a thriving relationship needs both the “fireworks” of chemistry and the “slow burn” of true intimacy, and I'll share practical steps to nurture both qualities in your relationship.  Key Takeaways:  Chemistry vs. Intimacy:Chemistry brings excitement and passion at the start of a relationship, but lasting intimacy is built through emotional safety, vulnerability, and being truly seen and loved. The Intimacy Framework:My four-quadrant model to pinpoint where your relationship stands: High Chemistry / High Intimacy (the marriage sweet spot) High Chemistry / Low Intimacy (fun but fragile) Low Chemistry / High Intimacy (roommate syndrome) Low Chemistry / Low Intimacy (running on empty) Common Myths Debunked:- Myth #1: Chemistry automatically leads to intimacy.- Myth #2: Chemistry, once lost, can’t be revived.- Myth #3: Intimacy is just about s*x This Episode's Free Resource:  Each episode in this series offers a free resource to grow your intimacy!  Download this week’s guide: Chemistry vs Intimacy Self-Check here! Follow Dana Che on the socials where you can get shareable quotes about each episode!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you freeze up or shut down when it’s time to have hard conversations? Maybe you avoid conflict altogether because you’re afraid of making things worse. In today’s episode, we’re talking about how to stop running from relational tension and start communicating with confidence—even when it’s uncomfortable. Avoiding conflict might feel safe in the moment, but over time, it damages connection, fuels resentment, and creates distance in your relationship. I’ll share how you can shift from conflict avoidance to confident communication using practical tools that build emotional safety and mutual respect. Whether you’re naturally more passive or you’re just tired of having the same arguments over and over again, this episode will help you develop the courage and clarity you need to address issues in a healthy way.    💬 What You’ll Learn: * Why avoiding conflict is actually more harmful than conflict itself* Common reasons we fear confrontation and how to overcome them* How the way we were raised plays a significant role in how we handle conflict* How to communicate confidently without being combative* A simple framework to approach hard conversations with grace and truth Resources Mentioned: Get Your FREE "Conversation Starters When Facing Conflict" Guide Here! 💡 Connect & follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube   Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Move over, stereotypes! Yes, it's a fact that men and women communicate differently. However, not all gender communication styles are the same. Joining us is my husband, Shaun, who, in his own special way, helps to explain the differences in how men and women communicate. If you're having a bad day, this episode is sure to cheer you up. Plus, you'll learn a lot in the process, like . . . Which gender prefers details over the other The difference between facts and feelings  Why men don't open up about their feelings  How feedback helps build connection in relationships  What women are really asking when they make small talk  Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Get your FREE Communication 101 Podcast Playlist here! Want to grow into the "Ultimate Couple"? This FREE Checklist will guide you there.    Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube   Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Here’s the hard truth: most of us are not good listeners, even though we think we are. In today’s episode, you’ll learn seven tips on becoming a better listener and how to encourage your people to do the same. Communication doesn't have to go wild! The good news is that with a few tweaks, anyone can become a better listener and have more mutually beneficial conversations with those they care about.  Here's some of what you'll glean from this episode:  🔎 Key Points & Topics: ✅ How to listen with your eyes✅ How to listen for feelings, not just facts✅ The science behind why we don't listen well ✅ The importance of empathy in listening  And much more! Happy listening! (Pun intended!) Resources mentioned in this episode:  Get your FREE Conversation Starters When in Conflict here.   Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Today's episode is like a master's course on communication in relationships. We're breaking down Dr. John Gottman’s famous concept of the “Four Horsemen” — four destructive communication habits that can quietly ruin even the strongest relationships if left unchecked. Drawing inspiration from the dramatic imagery of the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Gottman identifies Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling as the signs that a relationship is headed for disaster. But here’s the good news: each horseman has an antidote — and today, I’ll show you exactly how to use them. If you’ve ever felt stuck in repetitive conflicts, silent stand-offs, or resentment, this episode is your roadmap to break the cycle and rebuild trust, respect, and connection — one conversation at a time. Key Takeaways:✅ The Four Horsemen explained: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling✅ How to recognize them in your marriage or relationship✅ Proven antidotes to each destructive habit✅ Encouragement to transform conflict into connection 🔗 Resources Mentioned: Dr. John Gottman’s research on the Four Horsemen Free guide: How to Become "The Ultimate Couple" Related episode: It’s Not You, It’s Me — The Power of “I” Statements Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Whether you're a pro at giving the silent treatment or feel hurt by your partner's silence, I'm going to show you how silence can truly be golden in your relationship and how the silent treatment will further damage it. We're unpacking six healthier alternatives to the silent treatment. Rather than withdrawing, learn practical tools to address conflict effectively and foster more connected relationships. This episode is perfect for anyone who wants to  Boost your relationship skills  Navigate conflict in personal or professional relationships. Build a deeper connection by learning to replace emotionally harmful silence with empathy and understanding. Take practical action with clear, step‑by‑step communication tools you can apply today. 🔑 Key Takeaways Understanding the silent treatment Why it’s often used, what emotional messages it conveys, and how it can unintentionally damage trust. Six constructive alternatives: Insightful strategies and real‑life scenarios that guide listeners toward empathy and resolution. Practical communication tools: Actionable techniques to diffuse tension, express needs, and maintain connection. Real-world examples and role play: Breakdown of typical relationship conflicts and how these alternatives can be applied Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Get your FREE Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict Guide Here! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

How does it feel when someone shifts the blame for their behavior to you? No bueno, right? In today's episode, we're discussing the power of "I statements" and how they help us to stop pointing fingers and tell our partners about US, not them. Most people have never learned the tools of good communication, so they make accusations, abdicate responsibility for their feelings and/or choices, and incorrectly assign a motive to their partner’s behaviors. But, oh, friends, there is a much better way. Learning how to use “I statements” is not only an effective conflict resolution skill but gives your partner an inside look at the real you: what you’re thinking and feeling . . . and why you behave the way you do.  This episode originally aired in April 2022 and has been slightly edited for today's conversation.  Links Mentioned in this Episode:  Become the "Ultimate Couple" in Five Easy Steps Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!   Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you have a meddling in-law? Do they break your boundaries and cause a ruckus in your home? Today's episode emphasizes the importance of establishing clear boundaries within the household and the need for spousal support in the sometimes messy family dynamics. Open communication with both the mother-in-law and the other spouse is essential to ensure a respectful and harmonious living environment.  Key Takeaways:  This is your house; your mother-in-law is a guest. Be clear on the boundaries and expectations. Responsibilities do not equal authority in the household. Speak up about what you need from your mother-in-law. Spouses need to support one another in these situations. Establishing boundaries is crucial for a healthy relationship. Communicate openly with your spouse about family dynamics. It's important to protect your marriage at all costs. Nip issues in the bud before they escalate. Encourage honest conversations with family members. Have a relationship question you want answered on the podcast? Email or send a DM! Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube   Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Tough conversations are inevitable—but they don’t have to be toxic. Learn a practical and heart-centered approach to preparing for the difficult conversations we often avoid. Whether it’s addressing betrayal, setting boundaries, or navigating a sensitive issue in your relationship, you’ll learn how to check your emotions, clarify your intentions, and approach the talk with wisdom and courage. Tune in to discover how preparation can lead to connection, not just confrontation. This episode originally aired in March 2022 but has been updated and slightly edited for today. To view the original show notes, visit https://danache.com//marriage-podcasts/84. Get your Communication 101 Podcast Playlist!  Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Does it seem like you disagree and argue about almost everything in your relationship? A listener writes in to ask how to get his point across without arguing with his wife. Maybe you've wondered the same. In this episode, I am sharing a powerful communication tool (also a conversation starter) called the Mirror Moment. This practice will help you to explain your perspective or opinion to someone else and help them to do the same.  Even when you disagree, you will both now see each other, not just the problem, and will be much more likely to come to a consensus without the need for arguing, yelling, or drama.  Resources Mentioned in this Episode:  Get your FREE Conversation Starters Guide for Communicating in Conflict here. Follow Dana Che on the socials!  Instagram  Facebook  YouTube   Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.