Probing Ancient Aliens

G’day and bonzer and all that sheet, mate! It’s toim to buggah down with this crocodile dundee-tastic episode of your FY-vrit shoi about Ancient Astronaut Theory! Steve and Joey were just as surprised as you just were reading the first sentence of this paragraph that this episode is 100% Australian...all the time. Do the aboriginal peoples of Australia actually hold the record for the oldest continuous culture in the world...and therefore the earliest humans to interact with ancient aliens? Are the Rainbow Serpent, Bayama, and other sky beings that aborigines classically worshipped simply misunderstood star-beings that came to the Outback from another world through stargates? Did ancient Egyptians visit Australia in the ancient past, shipwrecked, stranded and prone to carving hieroglyphics onto Aussie walls? What does any of this have to do with ancient aliens other than like two examples of deities? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooobe into The Wisdom Keepers!

The Cosmic Egg is seen in religions, mythic artwork, stone carvings and buried in the ground since time immemorial. This divine symbol of birth and rebirth has permeated our minds so much so that it’s depictions are more numerous than even the Christian cross or the Jewish star of David - so the question is...why? How did ancient man seem to understand that this singular point of all life, matter, and consciousness exploded the universe into existence - aka the modern day “big bang” theory? Were they told by extraterrestrials? Is this knowledge encoded into DNA by our ancient alien creators? How do egg shaped UFO’s fit into the universal shape that is the Egg? We don’t know - but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooobe into Decoding the Cosmic Egg!

Tsoukalos, Childress, Wilcock and the gang recap a recap of a rehashed episode for like the 5th time - talking about mathematicians like Ramanajan, Turing and other geniuses like "Steven Jobs" (as Childress says) who, of course, MUST have gotten ALL their inspiration from extraterrestrials as it's impossible to think of any sort of technological advancement without alien intervention. Let's prooooooooooooooobe into The Visionaries!

A very special treat for y'all this week - a peek into our Patreon content since Steve is out of town this week. This one is a treat! Our recent review discussion of David Wilcock's newest...uh..."documentary," The Cosmic Secret! Ol' Five Heads at Freddies has a brand new movie - which he might refer to as a 'documentary - and boy is it a doozy! Over 2 hours of pure, dripping, greasy Wilcock Drips with plenty of his odd "insider" partner Corey Goode's own greasy 80s mafia movie hair-do thrown in for flavor. This movie is basically the book "The Secret" but with Wilcock and Goode's own overly-specific "facts" to support why we should all follow the ever-growing Cult of Wilcock's mission to evolve human consciousness and spirituality.

Tsoukalos, Childress, Wilcock and the gang make us think that they’re going to talk about “dat New-New” when it comes to HARD evidence for Ancient Alien visitation in the remote past...but they really just talk about ground penetrating radar and satellite imagery having the ability to look underground without busting open pyramid walls and stuff...which they’ve talked about before. They also wheel Von Daniken out to re-up your subscription to “This is What Ancient Astronaut Theory Is” Weekly, with no new information of any kind from the grand daddy of it all. Let’s prooooooooooooooobe into The New Evidence!

Are aliens secretly behind the trans-humanist movement? Are extraterrestrials influencing humanity to reach the cybernetic singularity so that we can be better prepared for long term space travel and meet our ET creators? Do ancient religious texts speak of Nootropics, nanomachines, genetically modified embryos, and immortality-inducing technology? What would happen if you had robot butt cheeks implanted and you're sitting experience was enhanced 10 times the average human amount of ass-sitting pleasure? Steve and Joey don't know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let's proooooooooobe into The Next Humans!.

Our earthlings actually the descendants of ancient Martians? Are the angels described in religious texts simply humanoid Mars citizens whose bodies reflect life in a low gravity environment? Is human architecture the same as the artificial structures portrayed by the Mars Rover because we are, in fact, the children of a refugee Martian race? How would we effectively colonize and terraform Mars so that humanity would have a second outpost in case Earth is devastated by famine, war, or asteroid blast? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into Destination Mars!

Is the continent of Antarctica hiding pyramids from an advanced ancient race of humans...or...earthbound extraterrestrials? Why did the Nazi’s, the US Military, the NSA and 7 different countries all desperately try to claim the unexplored tundra of Antarctica so desperately for the past 70 years? Was Antarctica actually part of a once temperate climate zone as depicted on the Arontus Phineas map? Was the lost city of Atlantis and the Egyptian “Island of the Egg” actually a warm and habitable ancient version of Antarctica? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooooooobe into Pyramids of Antarctica!

The big numero 10-oh season finale is here, and it's...koind of a bummer! Our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists explore why ancient archaeological antiquities are being destroyed by our fellow men all over the world in barbaric cultural / political wars. Destroying a culture's history, sadly, is nothing knew, but we can rest assured that Tsouks, Childress, Noory and the gang are equally as bummed that ancient artifacts are being busted up beyond repair...because they'll have less pieces of the Ancient Astronaut Theory puzzle to play with! The really have their priorities straight. Let's prooooooooooobe into The Forbidden Zones!

Are aliens waging a brutal, invisible war over our heads this very second? Are humans the offspring of the “winners” of an ancient alien war thousands of years ago? Did the Annunaki destroy their home planet, Nebiru, before ever reaching the ancient Sumerians to be worshiped by gods..and now our asteroid belt is all that’s left of the Annunaki homeworld? Do alien races see us as a threat now that we have nuclear capabilities? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into The Alien Wars!

Crop circles - geometric shapes embedded into large swaths of farmland by some sort of unseen force: what are they? How are they formed? Are crop circles a hoax...or something we fear so greatly that we avoid the stark truth they’re trying to communicate? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Researchers sure think they do! Let’s proooooooooobe into one of the (so far, anyway) best episodes that Ancient Aliens has to offer: Circles from the Sky!

Fishies. Jelly-fishies. Shark-fishies. Fish-men. Fish...women. Mmm...Our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists get extra wet n' slippery with this one little probers and probettes, as they discuss the possibility of intelligent life existing thousands of fathoms below our little buns in the salty briney deep. Are there "The Abyss" style aliens in the 90% of the as-yet unexplored ocean? Did space-faring extraterrestrials literally create a melting pot of genetic materials out of the Sea, billions of years ago to kick-start life on earth? Are there amphibious "mer-man" style aliens that came to the Dogons, Japanese, and Greeks only to be worshiped as dripping gods, goddesses or demi-gods? Steve and Joey don't know, but Tsouks, Childress, Wilcock and the gang sure as heck-fire think they do! Let's prooooooooooooooooooooooobe into Creatures of the Deep!

NOTE: This is a FREE preview of our paid Patreon content - subscribe now for $5 per month to get at least 2 exclusive podcasts like this one! This is the mac daddy of conspiracy theory movies - and David Wilcock (Five Heads at Freddy's) partners with some interesting folk - including a supposed member of the Secret Space Program - to inform the public about how the truth is actively being subverted by an evil race of Alien Draco Reptillians who are the shadow government behind the Illuminati/Cabal/Elite, whatever. We review this puppy as our first foray into Patreon exclusive content, so let us know what you think in the comments below!

Ancient Aliens, and the Ancient Astronaut theorists that fill out its cast, have never really focused on Exo-Planets - Earth-like habitable planets - before...or have they? Ancient Aliens has really all been about other planets with humanoid beings visiting us since the dawn of time, but this week, Tsouks, Childress, Tzadok and the gang are going deep into our modern search for Exo-Planets and actually doing some pretty good documentary work with...y’know...FACTS mixed in with all the hypothetical ponderings and wonderment. Let’s proooooooooooooobe into The Other Earth!

It’s Probing Ancient Aliens 100th Episode - and Joey’s wife surprises the boys with their very own - and perhaps, first of it’s kind - prolapse cake! After chowing down on some delicious pink sock meat, the boys discuss an episode of Ancient Aliens that, as usual, only has like 10% non re-hashed content in it; but that’s why we love Tsouks and the gang so damn much: their willingness to endlessly repeat themselves in slightly different ways. It’s all about why aliens look the way they do, how they evolved to have bird or insect heads with humanoid bodies...and answering the age-old question: do they look like us...or do we look like them? Let’s prooooooooooooooooobe into The Alien Evolution!

Serial killers who claim to be controlled by demons. Dictators with occult sources of power control the masses. Cult figures like Alistor Crowley and L. Ron Hubbard practicing magic rituals. Are these connections to Dark Forces simply the Judeo-Christian mythos coming to fruition in reality? Or are all evil pacts and deals with the devil simply Extraterrestrials manipulating humanity into fighting for their side of an endless alien civil war? Why is David Childress so DEVILISHLY handsome? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists think they do! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooooobe into Dark Forces!

Are many, if not most, of the ancient extra terrestrial "gods"...actually robots? Was the Egyptian creator god, Osiris, able to be put back together after dismemberment, not because of heavenly magic, but because he had interchangeable robotic body parts? If we are already fast-approaching robots that are indistinguishable from organic humans...what's to have stopped super advanced ancient aliens from having an infinite supply of self replicating robots to travel the cosmos, risk free? Are the classic "grey" aliens actually just manufacured organic robots (aka "androids") who abduct and harvest human beings for their genetic material so that that they can assimilate and replicate on their own? Steve and Joey don't know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let's proooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens & Robots!

This episode is dedicated completely...and oddly...to Wernher Von Braun, the world’s most famous former Nazi rocket scientist! The Ancient Aliens production crew really phoned this one in and might even have gone to Wikipedia, or scripts of old Ancient Aliens episodes, to get most of the factoids they’re spewing about old Wernher. Still, Steve and Joey like to think that they can add a little spice - and spit! - to any re-hash episode of this crazy show, plus some big announcements are made about a certain...desert-based contact event that might be attending again! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooobe into NASA’s Secret Agenda and only talk about Wernher Von Braun!

Was the lost continent of Atlantis home to a pre-cursor race of advanced, yet ancient, human beings? Are the Atlanteans and the biblical “Pre-Adamites” one and the same race of people? How did Peri Ries know about the coastline of Antarctica during the Renaissance...when Antarctica’s coastline has been obscured by huge sheets of ice for over 6000 years? Did the Ice Age end - subsequently drowning thousands of advanced coastal cities - violently due to a meteoric cataclysm, destroying our advanced ancient knowledge from “those who came before?” For once Steve and Joey koind of agree with our plucky ancient astronaut theorists because they’re going pretty deep into some Graham Hancock shit! Let’s proooooooooooooooobe into Aliens B.C.!!!!!

Do competing races of aliens have completely separate agendas for humanity and its ultimate destiney? Are there “good aliens” and “bad aliens” that proliferate or destroy our advanced knowledge of the past - like Prometheus bringing fire, or the burning of the Library of Alexandria? Did the evil extraterrestrials manipulate Hitler and his Nazis toward their own ends, with the goal of subjugating most of the earth and collecting ancient artifacts for mysterious purposes? Why don’t any of the Ancient Astronaut Theorists mention any of the Reptillian / Illuminati conspiracy shit this ENTIRE show?! It’s staring them right in the face and they just dance around it! C’mon bro!!! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooooooooobe into The Alien Agenda

Steve and Joey are wrapping up their vacation so here's a previously EXCLUSIVE episode of Closet Knowledge from our Patreon - all about how we went on our own Paranormal Investigation of the David Oman House! This spooky Beverly Hills haunted house (and it's quirky owner) claims that Sharon Tate and the other Manson Murder victims have set up shop there, just a few doors down from where they were brutally slain back in 1969. We used all the tools of the trade - all the best stuff from Ghost Adventures - and one of us even felt some crazy, inexplicable feelings that we'll never forget. Are we still skeptics or full on gaga for ghosts now? Listen up and find out!

How is it possible that entire ancient cultures seemingly vanish without a trace, consistently and constantly over the centuries? Do they die of disease? Do environmental changes force an exodus from their cities and lands? Does civil war rip their societies to shreds? Or...are ancient - and modern! - extraterrestrials abducting entire cultures en masse to perform experiments for unknown purposes? Is earth truly a giant alien laboratory and has been for thousands, or even millions, of years? How much plastic surgery has Linda Molten Howe ACTUALLY had on her face?! Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s proooooooooooooobe into The Vanishings!

Are there pyramids hidden all over the world - under the ocean and sands - that are just lying there, waiting to be found? What could these hidden pyramids tell us about ancient cultures BEFORE ancient Egypt and Sumeria. Are there pyramids hidden under North and South America? What about the pyramids being uncovered in the Amazon rainforest as we cut down swaths of trees so we can have soy bean farms to feed cows so we can all eat hamburgers?!! Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut researchers sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into Hidden Pyramids!

Did aliens have a strong influence over the outcome of the civil war? Did Abraham Lincoln communicate with extraterrestrial beings and see visions of George Washington that turned the tide of battle on more than one occasion? Did aliens give honest Abe constant premonitions of his death? Did the founding fathers believe in aliens? Was Moronai, the Mormonism-creating angel that communed with Joseph Smith, in fact, an ancient ET? We don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens and the Civil War!

Have ancient aliens been leaving us messages in petroglyphs, crop circles, architecture...and even our own DNA? What are they trying to tell us? I don’t have much to write because this episode of Ancient Aliens doesn’t have much to say - but you better believe our plucky ancient astronaut theorist THINK they have a lot to say...and Joey and Steve take every opportunity to pick it apart and point out the wet, dripping logic flaws in their hypotheses. Let’s prooooooooooooooobe into Alien Messages!

NOTE the Ep number change! We're still going in order of the show but we're trying to get back to the canonical episode order. Did ancient aliens cause the great flood that ravaged so many cultures thousands of years ago? Is the Book of Enoch and the dead sea scrolls the true key to unlock our understanding of the alien rebellion of the original fallen angels that mated with human women, in turn creating the Nephilim that, in turn created genetic abominations that were against the will of their alien brethren, in turn causing an extraterrestrial civil war that, in turn, caused the alien winners of that war to FLOOD THE WHOLE WORLD?! Also...Noah was an alien, right? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists definitely do...and they’re gettin’ REAL wet probing into The Great Flood!

Did Ancient Aliens teach primitive humans the power to resurrect themselves through mummification and zombiefication? Did Jesus body get transformed by astral forms of Jeremiah and Moses so it would resurrect into a physical manifestation with inter dimensional travel capabilities? Are near death experiences actually our quantum consciousness interacting with other beings that have transcended the physical realm and into the worlds of “spooky science at a distance” according to Einstein? Is this episode of Ancient Aliens extremely similar to literally the last episode about mummies? Steve and Joey aren’t sure about everything else before that last sentence, but you better believe there’s some lazy editing and repetitive content on the part of Prometheus Entertainment and their editors. Let’s proooooooooooooooooooobe into Alien Resurrections!

Did ancient aliens, posing as Egyptian gods, teach humanity the science of mummification in order to preserve human DNA? Did primitive people who were abducted aboard alien craft simply witness humanoid beings waking up in suspended animation pods and mistake this for “resurrection?” What about non-Egyptian mummies, like those of Peru, Russia and even Western Europe - were they all part of a global cultural shift brought on by ancient extraterrestrial bird-men who were later diefied in the form of Thoth and the Annunaki? Steve and Joey have no clue, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s proooooooooooooooooobe into Secrets of the Mummies!

What is the true nature of the world’s geniuses? Are their minds simply more highly evolved than others, or do they have some deeper connection to a higher level of consciousness? Is this “universal mind” actually an extraterrestrial cloud-based accumulation of knowledge that they can tap into while others can’t? Is there an ancient alien agenda where we’ve been guided from our primitive primate selves to the tech-savvy sapiens we are today...all so we can...be like them? We don’t know - but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure as hell think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooooobe into The Genius Factor!

Are aliens watching our every move through our cell phones, computers, and other cloud-based devices? Have ancient extraterrestrials been guiding us on this technological journey simply to make it easier for them to have us under 24/7 surveillance? Was it Edward Snowden who truly broke open the Illuminati / Alien agenda in his famous 2013 leak? Who are The Watchers and how are they related to the angels in the Book of Enoch, the Islamic Jinn, the Sumerian Annunaki, and the Ant People of the Hopi? Steve and Joey sure don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure as heck-fire think they do! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens Among Us!

Was Edgar Cayce’s prediction about the Atlantean Hall of Records being hidden under the Sphynx’s paw true? What secrets lie within the great limestone statue itself? Was the Sphynx’s tiny head once the larger head of a lion or Anubis, the Egyptian Jackal god? Is there a second Sphynx buried to the west of the great pyramids of Giza, as pictured on the Dream Stila? What of the greatest mystery of all: around the back of the Sphynx...archaeologist have never found the most elusive of holes: the Sphynx-ter. Steve, Joey and our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists go DEEP into the hidden knowledge of that most ancient wonder of the world in this ep: let’s proooooooooooooobe into the Mysteries of the Sphynx!

PATREON PEEK: Adventurous Ghosts - Houton Mansion by Probing Ancient Aliens

Our plucky ancient astronaut theorists try tell us why caves are magical and why aliens and Jesus and Zeus all hang out there! It’s self-evident that I can’t even write into quippy shit with questions that can’t be answered by just saying “caves were the original shelter.” Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens and Forbidden Caves!

Are superheroes simply symbolic off-spring of ancient aliens coming to the Earth as gods, helping primitive man to fight against the evil forces of the galaxy? Is the kabla (aka Illuminati) actually responsible for “turning off” our X-Men like genetic markers for super powers so that we remain weak, suppressed, and dependent on technology THEY control? Are Batman and Iron Man actually the true realization of ancient extraterrestrials who used advanced technology to seem divine...but were simply using highly evolved tech? Steve and Joey don’t know...but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Researchers sure as heck seem to! They even got Stan Lee to comment during this episode - does he make us TRUE BELIEVERS in super powered ET’s?!!! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens & Superheroes!

Joseph Smith...Mohammed...David Parkinson (huh?), Moses, Constantine, Queen Elizabeth - all of these players on the world stage had raw, extreme encounters with the divine...but were these deities simply flesh and bolts extraterrestrials with a direct interest and guiding hand in the events of human history? Did aliens cause the storm that ended the Spanish Armada’s attack on England in the 16th century? Did an extraterrestrial craft pick up Moses on Mt. Sinai and imbue him with a divine alien force? As the angel Moronai said: “I’m not an angel, I’m a full-on alien!”...or something to that effect. Either way, our plucky ancient astronaut theorists have the skinny - and the fatty! - on the major meetups between ET and man - let’s prooooooooooooooooooooooooooobe into Alien Encounters!

It’s the Probing Ancient Aliens recap of Alien Con Los Angeles 2019! Steve and Joey spent two stellar days at the LA Downtown Convention Center, only minutes away from where the LA Lakers play ball...but they were concerned with other kinds of spheres: planets, multiverses, stars, atoms, and the frequencies at which they all vibe out the loads. The boys went more obscure this year, skipping over most of Tsouks and the gang (though leaving ample room for their Galactic Daddy David Hatcher Childress!) and attending panels on podcasts, quantum consciousness, and an Atlantean spirit channeler who spoke through an inner earth spirit named Vywamus who unlocked our true energetic potential. Plus...a distinct and unfortunate lack of hot dogs throughout the weekend, leaving gaping holes in their hearts, yearning and pulsing for convention center food but never to be filled or satisfied. Let’s prooooooooooobe into Alien Con 2019!

Was the Higgs-Boson particle discovery in 2012 merely a RE-discovery of physics implanted in the Vedic texts of ancient India? Did the ancient Greek philosopher, Democritus, learn how to telepathically communicate with advanced beings in the astral planes from the Magi and Egyptian Mystery priests? Did modern scientists like Nikolai Tesla, Albert Einstein, and Robert Oppenheimer get the idea for the Big Bang from the Vedas opening chapter concerning the “Cosmic Egg” from which all light and matter sprung? Now that the Higgs-Boson has been observed at the large hadron collider at CERN - is humanity getting into more dangerous territory by adding more and more power to this particle accelerator - so much so that we might create a giant black hole that destroys our entire solar system? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure have all the answers! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into The God Particle!

Our plucky ancient astronaut theorists probe deep into the “mad scientist” Nikolai Tesla - the patron saint of hipsters and original creator of most of our technology today. Was this troubled genius actually an agent of extraterrestrials, with inventions being downloaded like a hologram to his mind? Was his unique brain able to access the Akashic Record - gaining tidbits of knowledge that only hyperdimensional beings can comprehend? Was he robbed of his greatest accolades by jealous peers who feared his competitive edge? Not sure what else there is to be said about ol’ Nik, but Tsoukalos, Childress, Wilcock and the gang sure do try! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooooooooooobe into The Tesla Experiment!

The boys took a trip to the transcendant Contact in the Desert 2019 event in Indian Wells, CA for a whopping 4 days - resulting in an 3 hour mega-podcast recapping their adventures! An intimate conversation with David Hatcher Childress, the realization that David Wilcock is the most arrogant man to walk the Multiverse, did Steve finally find love, and plenty of people watching galore can all be heard on this very spiritual episode about a very spiritual convention. Let's proooooooooooooooooobe into Contact in the Desert!

Sorry we're late with this episode! Our plucky ancient astronaut theorists probe deep into the annals of the oft-conspiracized race of Reptillian extraterrestrials that are shadow-ruling our entire planet. Who were they? Why were they cast out as villains of a great alien civil war? Are they behind the hybridization of humanity? Are they good or evil? Let's prooooooooooobe into these cold blooded killers and see what makes the Reptilians tick!

Another re-hash, another dollar the History Channel seems to be saying here with another “special edition” episode of Ancient Aliens! Faces of the gods pulls almost exclusively old footage and provides little to no new content whatsoever - but that’s ok! If you’re new to the show than you’ll get a nice little re-cap of all the questionable conspiracy theories Tsoukalos, Childress and the gang put out into the galaxy year after year! So if you want to know what aliens look like, then let’s prooooooooooooooooooooooobe into Faces of the Gods!

Like old chopped potatoes at breakfast, our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists are serving up re-hashed leftovers in this “Special Edition” episode that was likely used to fill the March 2014 - July 2014 gap in Season 8. But not to worry your charming little selves! We’ve got burrito talk, we’ve got Mum’s cream, we’ve got Baghdad Batteries powering pyramid microwaves and even a special appearance by (the words) Ava Devine! And if you like feta cheese, fettuccine, or just plain’ ol’ pita bread, we’ve got you covered in LOADS of fresh room temperature gooey content! Let’s prooooooooooooooobe into Mysterious Devices aka the a re-edited version of “Alien Tech!”

Are the great megalithic stones at Carnac an ancient pathfinding device for Apollo, the Greek, and possible Norse god? How did ancient man carve such precise angles into tough granite rock without the help of advanced technology? Was Pumapunku poured into place with advanced stone melting technology that allowed the ancient Incans to “pour” the molten stones into place with such accuracy? Were the large carvings at Gobekli Tepei and Easter Island created with the help of ancient alien tools - the same mysterious devices that helped build Coral Castle in the American southeast? We don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists are using 95% footage from a season 1 episode to re-hash this shit and sell it to you like it’s new information! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooooobe into the crev-asses of mysterious structures!

Are ancient Asian dragons actually misinterpreted extraterrestrial spacecraft? Are there ancient alien airports littered across the Earth, part of a vast star-being trade network that brought knowledge advanced technological knowledge to primitive man? Was Solomon’s legendary magic carpet actually an airship given to him by so-called “divine” beings that were simply aliens in disguise? And what of Ezekiel’s infamous interaction with God in a chariot described has having “wheels within wheels” (boys)? Was this yet another example of flesh and blood ET’s posing as the paranormal to manipulate human destiny in the ancient past? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists are re-hashing about 95% old footage from season 1 episodes in this ep - even down to Robert Clotworthy’s narration volumed down to about a 4/10 compared to his usually 11. Let’s prooooooooooooooooobe (again!) into Alien Transports!

Are Angels and Demons (aka ALIENS!) so turned on by earthbound humans that they’ve been hybridizing the living hell out of us for centuries? Why are aliens having sex and probing genetic material to make their own race of what were once known as “demi-gods” to ancient man? What about reports of hybrids coming down to have sex with humans the old fashion way? Are these alien sexual encounters and abductions simply misunderstood night terrors or sleep paralysis? Is the secret alien agenda to hybridize our entire planet...or are humans already the alien hybrids? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure do know a lot about this whole alien sexual agenda conspiracy stuff! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into alien breeders babies...babyyyyyy!

How about a free BONUS podcast probers and probettes: CLOSET KNOWLEDGE?! It's our new topical podcast where we come out of the knowledge closet with something obscure that we're both into, want to learn about each other, or want to learn from a guest! Today's episode is all about one of our favorite sports/hobbies: Disc Golf aka "frisbee golf." And calm your little pink socks - Probing Ancient Alien is posting at the normal time this week, this isn't replacing the main content :-) Our Patreon subscribers got this last week, but we wanted to test the waters with how you guys liked different content from us - let us know what you think in the comments on your favorite podcast service! And for more exclusive episodes, subscribe to patreon.com/probingancientaliens where you'll get at least 2 exclusive shows per month for only $5 Space Bucks!

Are the insects of the world actually genetically modified organisms used by aliens to altar our DNA and shape our evolution? Do insectoid races of aliens exist, and did they travel to ancient Egyptians and the Zuni native Americans beetle and ant like star-beings? Are the insect plagues of the Holy Bible examples of advanced weaponry merely made in the shape of indigenous bugs to destroy the Egyptians holding the Israelite people in bondage? Is the American government secretly building similar devices to spy on, and conspire against, their enemies? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure are a-BUZZ about bugs this week! Ants, praying mantises, hornets, bees and especially DUNG beetles are discussed and compared and theorized about being somehow, some way related to ancient E.T.’s and Steve and Joey are their to prolapse the thorax of this so-called “evidence,” when exoskeletal segment at a time. Let’s prooooooooooooooooobe into the brothy insides of Aliens & Insects!

Are Shamans real? Do medicine men and witch doctors enter higher states of consciousness to talk to spirits aka ancient alien gods or interdimensional star-beings? How do shamans know exactly the right combination of poisonous plants to create psychedelic cocktails or magical healing properties? Can any human put themselves into a trance-like state by simply meditating with a drum or a rattle? Did the painful rituals shaman’s went through to get their powers mirror the experiences of modern UFO abductees? Did shamans see ancient animal-men in their visions that were actually the Egyptian god Thoth or the Sumerian Annunaki? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do!!! Let’s proooooooooooooooooobe into the inner dimensions of...the shamans!

Mars...is it truly more than just a Bar or a where Marvin is from? Why did virtually every culture throughout history have a healthy respect or fear of this fiery red ball in the sky? Was Mars actually an advanced culture not unlike our own millions of years ago before getting destroyed by a gigantic asteroid? What about the famous face and pyramid of Mars - is the lack of evidence surrounding these structures a massive government cover-up with cooperation by NASA? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists did everyone a solid this episode and ACTUALLY BROUGHT ON EXPERTS AND PRIMARY SOURCES TO SUPPORT SOME OF THEIR EVIDENCE! What a concept! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into the red planet everyone knows and loves - Mars!

Did ancient extraterrestrial gods need human beings to mine gold for their atmosphere and spacecraft? Did King Solomon really have a ring that could control demons and a worm that could cut thick stone for his temple? Is there really a cursed door in a Vedic temple in India that brings death and illness to anyone that attempts to access the treasure inside? Are Aztec, Greek, and other treasures around the world...y’know...cool alien things? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure do...right? Where are the aliens? Why does the History Channel refuse to SHOW any of the damn treasures during the episode?! But hey, Ancient Aliens is consistent in its inability to seize evidence sharing opportunities that would actually help their cause. Let’s proooooooooooooooobe into Treasures of the Gods!