Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, we explore the practical aspects of Reflecting Feelings, focusing on how this essential skill can be effectively used in daily interactions with children. Our goal is to demystify the process and encourage more confident and consistent application in your parenting. Key Points Covered: Understanding Reflecting Feelings: An overview of why this skill is fundamental yet challenging, emphasizing its importance in validating children's emotions. Practical Application: Step-by-step guidance on how to reflect feelings accurately, from recognizing nonverbal cues to matching your verbal responses with your child's emotional states. Real-Life Scenarios: Examples of how to apply the Reflecting Feelings skill throughout the day, from positive expressions like joy and pride to handling negative emotions like disappointment and frustration. We delve into how consistent practice of this skill helps build a stronger, more empathetic connection with your child, enabling them to feel heard and understood. This connection is crucial for their emotional development and can significantly enhance your effectiveness as a parent. Call to Action: This week, I challenge you to consciously practice reflecting feelings with your children. Notice the multitude of opportunities you have to engage this skill, and observe the positive impact it has on your interactions. For more insights and to continue this conversation, don't hesitate to reach out via email at [email protected] or leave a message at (813) 812-5525. Your feedback and questions are invaluable, and they help us shape future content that meets your needs. Remember, the journey to calm, confident, and in-control parenting continues with each skill we master. Let's keep learning and growing together. Thank you for joining me today, and I look forward to our next session! Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode, I address a question submitted by a therapist on behalf of a concerned parent. The parent has a 6-year-old girl who is grappling with body image issues. As this little girl expresses concerns about her tummy being "fat" and worries that other kids are judging her, her mother fears she may be using food to soothe her big emotions. These behaviors are merely cues, signaling deeper underlying issues that need to be addressed. More often than not, a child's fixation on food, sleep, or obedience stems from a profound need for control or a manifestation of high anxiety levels. Through the lens of child-centered play therapy, we can unravel the root causes and provide lasting solutions. By reflecting her feelings, giving her choices, and fostering her self-esteem through encouragement, we empower this young girl to develop an emotional vocabulary, self-regulation, and a healthy sense of self-worth – the very tools she needs to overcome her body image struggles. Remember, the behavior itself is not the problem; it's a window into her internal world. As we guide her through this journey, she'll naturally internalize self-acceptance, regardless of her physical appearance. The path to healing lies in addressing the core emotional needs, not just the surface symptoms. With patience, empathy, and a child-centered approach, she can develop resilience and confidence. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

I can't emphasize enough the profound impact of encouragement on a child's self-esteem, self-worth, and overall development. Unlike the other pillars we've discussed, encouragement stands alone as a powerful tool that shapes a child's understanding of their identity, capabilities, and innate value. In this episode, we delve deep into the crucial distinction between praise and encouragement. Praise, although well-intentioned, often includes value judgments that inadvertently make children dependent on external validation. On the other hand, encouragement focuses solely on the child's efforts and contributions, fostering an internal locus of control – a sense of motivation that comes from within. I challenge you to become more aware of when you slip into praising your child and consciously pivot to encouragement instead. Start your sentences with "you" – "You worked really hard on that!" or "You used so many colors in your painting!" This simple shift empowers your child to celebrate their efforts, embrace challenges, and find fulfillment in their own accomplishments, regardless of the outcome. Remember, self-esteem is the foundation for almost all positive change in a child. When we encourage our children, we nurture their confidence, resilience, and belief in themselves. This, in turn, transforms their interactions, relationships, and overall behavior in self-enhancing ways. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode, I answer a question from Hayley in Australia, dealing with a common issue many parents face: sibling conflict. Hayley has been diligently applying the principles we discuss here, such as getting down to her children's level, validating their feelings, and setting limits, yet she's not seeing the positive changes she hoped for, especially when it comes to her children hitting each other. I address the importance of neutral phrasing in limit setting, the impact of birth order on sibling dynamics, and the necessity of providing alternative choices to undesirable behavior. I also touch on the significance of keeping our interventions brief and to the point, as our children's attention spans are limited. If you're grappling with similar challenges or have any questions about parenting, I encourage you to reach out to me at [email protected] or leave a voice message at (813) 812-5525. Also, remember to subscribe to our newsletter at www.playtherapyparenting.com for more insights and resources. If you subscribe today, I'll send you a video of a workshop I conducted on Birth Order... a topic I discussed in today's podcast! This episode is a testament to the complexities of parenting and understanding and responding to our children's needs. Thank you, Hayley, for your vulnerability and for allowing us to learn from your experiences. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we continue our journey through the four pillars of child-centered play therapy. Having covered reflecting feelings and choice giving, we now explore the third pillar, limit setting. Limit setting is essential in teaching children how to understand and respect boundaries. It's a skill that combines the empathy and understanding we've discussed with clear, consistent guidelines. I give practical strategies for implementing limit setting in a way that supports your child's emotional and behavioral development. If you have a question about limit setting, or any other parenting topic, feel free to reach out to me at [email protected] or leave a voice message at (813) 812-5525. Stay tuned for more insights and remember to subscribe to our newsletter for additional resources at www.playtherapyparenting.com. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I address a heartfelt question from Corinne about how to navigate conversations with her five-year-old son regarding his grandmother's ALS diagnosis. Corinne's concern resonates with many parents who grapple with discussing difficult topics with their children. I emphasize the importance of sharing age-appropriate truth with kids, providing simple explanations in response to their questions, and being prepared for future discussions as their understanding evolves. By focusing on alleviating confusion and unknowns, we can support our children through challenging times while nurturing our relationships with them. Join me as I offer practical advice and encouragement to Corinne and parents facing similar situations. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're exploring choice giving. Choice giving empowers children by offering them opportunities to make decisions and exercise control in their lives. By providing choices within established boundaries, parents can help children develop decision-making skills, reduce power struggles, and foster a sense of ownership over outcomes. I emphasize the importance of setting mutually agreeable parameters for choices and I explain practical examples, such as allowing children to choose their lunch fruit or the timing of their bath. Through consistent implementation of choice giving, parents can create a healthy dynamic with their children, build their decision-making abilities, and minimize conflicts. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I discuss a common parenting challenge: how to handle big emotions in kids, especially when they're directed at siblings. I relate a scenario shared by Heather from Florida, who struggles with regulating her own emotions while helping her three boys navigate theirs. I discuss the importance of reflecting feelings and understanding the underlying causes of behavior, such as feelings of powerlessness. Also, I give some strategies, such as choice-giving and limit-setting to address these situations. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're diving into the first pillar of child-centered play therapy, which is reflecting feelings. This foundational skill is all about acknowledging and validating our children's emotions. Remembering that kids aren't rational beings, we have to meet them in their emotional world rather than expecting them to understand ours. By reflecting their feelings, we help them build an emotional vocabulary and effectively communicate their needs, instead of acting out their needs via unacceptable behavior. Through simple steps like starting with "you" and accurately identifying their emotions, we can make a big difference in our children's emotional development. I challenge you to try reflecting your child's feelings at least once a day this week and see the impact it has on your relationship. Don't worry if it doesn't go perfectly at first, just keep practicing. Feel free to reach out to me with any questions or scenarios you'd like advice on, and don't forget to sign up for my newsletter at www.playtherapyparenting.com for more helpful content. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

I'm thrilled to be back on the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast after taking a little break. So, welcome to Season Two! During my hiatus, I've been busy launching training programs for clinicians and welcoming a new therapist at my center. Now, I'm excited to share some changes with you. In this episode, I announce a new direction for the podcast: it will be more curriculum-driven, offering you a "master class" in parenting based in child-centered play therapy. Today, I want to talk about the most fundamental concept in parenting: the understanding that kids aren't rational. It's crucial for us, as parents, to meet our children where they are emotionally and recognize that their feelings, not their brains often drive their behavior! By embracing this perspective, we can transform our interactions with our kids and build stronger, more empathetic relationships. I'm also considering adding a new Q&A segment based on your questions and scenarios, so feel free to reach out with any parenting dilemmas you'd like me to address. [email protected] or call (813) 812-5525 to leave a voicemail. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I explore the analogy of a compass and how it relates to parenting. I delve into the fact that a compass doesn't actually point to True North, contrary to popular belief. This realization led me to reflect on the parenting journey, highlighting the freedom found in acknowledging that, just like a compass, we may not always be heading in the "perfect" direction. I emphasize the importance of understanding that parenting isn't about attaining perfection but about navigating with intention and the right tools. I encourage listeners to embrace mistakes, take responsibility, and apologize when needed, as it not only sets an example for children but also frees us from the unrealistic pressure of being flawless parents. By framing parenting through the lens of intentional direction rather than the pursuit of perfection, it's okay not to have a fixed, unwavering path. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I explore the profound meaning behind a Winston Churchill quote and its application to parenting. I delve into the concept of absolute truth, drawing parallels between the quote and the truths we encounter in parenting. I highlight three incontrovertible truths: Parenthood is a conscious choice and responsibility. When we decide to have children, we inherently accept the duty to parent them well. It's vital to shift the mindset from viewing children as burdens to understanding that parenting is a fulfilling obligation. Children require specific elements from parents—kindness, patience, consistency, and modeling behavior. I stress the significance of parents demonstrating the behaviors and traits they wish to instill in their children, establishing mutual trust as the foundation of a healthy relationship. Acknowledging personal faults and aiming to surpass generational patterns is crucial. I encourage listeners to evolve, improve, and be intentional about becoming better parents than previous generations, highlighting the importance of continual learning and growth. Even amid challenges, parenting remains a gift. I urge you to embrace gratitude for the opportunity to nurture and guide your children. The commitment to evolving as parents ultimately shapes not just our children's lives but generations to come. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I take a deep dive into praise vs encouragement from a child-centered play therapy standpoint. Building upon the previous episode's overview, I recount a conversation with a house parent at the Hope Children's Home who raised a question about a parenting approach he overheard. The person avoids telling his kids he's proud of them, opting for "what you did just brought me great joy" instead. While the intention is to encourage emotional maturity and other orientation, I explore why this statement falls into the category of "pseudo praise". I explain the importance of fostering an internal locus of control in children, emphasizing the dangers of external validation dependence. Drawing on research, including a longitudinal study, I underscore the long-term positive effects of encouragement over praise. I challenge listeners to break away from the pervasive praise model and become the antidote to the praise epidemic. Throughout the episode, I stress the significance of using encouragement consistently and provide practical insights for implementing child-centered play therapy parenting. Tune in for a deep dive into the power of encouragement and its role in raising resilient, internally motivated children. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we get "back to basics" of the Play Therapy Parenting model. I've shared an extensive range of insights over the last 124 episodes and as more listeners join the podcast family, I thought it was time to reflect on the basics. Recently, I had the privilege of conducting a 7-hour training of the house parents and staff at Hope Children's Home (https://hopechildrenshome.org/), a remarkable foster care agency. The experience inspired me to reflect on the foundations of my approach and the child-centered play therapy model. This episode takes a deep dive into critical concepts. Kids aren't rational—they're driven by emotions, not cognitive reasoning. Understanding this shapes the approach to interactions. It's about reflecting feelings, offering choices, setting limits, and providing encouragement. The goal is always preserving a healthy relationship with our kids. If you're catching this for the first time or need a refresher, these principles are pivotal. They create a framework to interact with our children effectively. Remember, the relationship with our kids stands above all else. In case you'd like to get in touch, feel free to reach out at [email protected]. I'm here to support you. Mentioned in this episode: Hope Children's Home - https://hopechildrenshome.org/ Rules of Thumb all come from Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents by Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006) Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

I frequently hear from parents something along the line of "My kid is so manipulative!" I'd like to challenge the notion that kids are manipulating parents and others around them and give you a new perspective and re-frame for you what exactly kids are doing that parents interpret as being manipulative. In this episode of the podcast, I discuss the following topics: The concept of abstract reasoning Organic, natural cause of "manipulation" Kids don't have alternatives when they are stuck in a pattern of behavior Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Listener Stephanie emailed me with a follow-up question to my episode titled: "'I Hate My Life!' – What To Do When Your Child Says This, Or Other Shocking Things" and described a few situations where her 7-year-old son reacts with shocking responses, but the reflecting feelings process didn't work as expected. In this episode, I give Stephanie some follow-up advice on using the reflecting feelings skill with some advanced tips to help when it feels like reflecting feelings isn't working. The depth of the feeling impacts the recovery. The larger the emotion, the more time it may take for feeling reflection to take effect. It's not an instant fix. Enlarge the meaning You always reflect on the new feeling that was most recently expressed Bonus tip: Provide alternatives (later) Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

A listener to the podcast emailed me a question regarding explaining dating and remarriage to young children. In this episode, I discuss the related topics related to this matter. Age appropriate truth Neutral discussions without emotion Setting expectations Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Listeners Dan and Clay emailed me similar questions regarding "roadblocks" in the choice-giving process. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: The purpose behind why we give choices Hindrances to the choice-giving process (congruence, choices given only in negative situations, understanding the "why") Kids need opportunities to practice receiving choices Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

"Only acts of war and the events of natural disasters are more harmful to a child's psyche than the divorce process" - American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 1997 In this episode, I'm going to talk about the following topics from a child's perspective: Change The emotional processing of a divorce vs the rational side Trust, safety, and security Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

"When I look back, knowing what I know now, there were signs..." In this special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I had the privilege to interview Jason Reid, founder of Tell My Story (www.tellmystory.org) and Choose Life (www.chooselife.org). May is Mental Health Awareness month, and Jason, who lost his 14-year-old son to suicide, is determined to reach every parent and every family about the conversation they need to have with their kids. Jason's mission has enlarged from informing parents about the signs of suicide in kids, to overall mental health awareness in kids and adults. Visit Jason's organizations: Tell My Story - https://tellmystory.org/ Choose Life - https://www.chooselife.org/ Songs for the Drive Home: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLl9DqLcFH-0J_xyePQGp-CSfKGXJFSyTW Tell My Story documentary trailer: https://wellbeings.org/films/tell-my-story/ Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

As parents, we want the best for our children. However, in today's world, we are faced with new challenges when it comes to our children's mental health. The news is flooded with child mental health crises, and a recent survey found that child mental health is the #1 concern among parents right now. In this episode, I dive deep into this important topic and share practical tips that can help. We know how tough it can be to assess our children's mental well-being, primarily when they cannot communicate their feelings. That's why we discuss how to identify signs of stress or anxiety and offer insights into what we can do to support our children through these challenges. We also explore the academic pressure children face and its impact on their mental health. It's understood that you want your child to succeed, but we also know how important it is to prioritize their mental well-being. I offer advice on supporting your child academically while creating a balanced and healthy environment at home. Finally, we discuss the impact of busy schedules on our children's well-being. We know how easy it is to get caught up in a hectic routine, but we also know that a healthy schedule is critical to our children's mental health. We provide practical tips for creating a balanced schedule that supports your child's mental health and overall well-being. The three topics I discuss in this episode are: We need to understand how to asses our children's mental well-being We need to address the academic pressures We need to consider our children's schedules Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

In this episode, I want to bring us back to the most foundational aspect of parenting... the relationship. Using the 4 Pillars of Play Therapy skills is the best way to preserve your relationship with your child when you have to discipline, or when you are trying to encourage self-esteem, self-regulation, and self-reliance. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

In this episode of the podcast I wanted to talk about encouragement and self-fulfilling prophecy. I recently wrote a quote into my quote book that was the inspiration for this episode. It goes like this: The friend said, "Elsa, You have a wrong picture of yourself." Elsa replied, "Even if that is true, what does a person do about it? The things your parents say to you, and the things your husband doesn't say to you, become a mirror, don't they? You see yourself as they see you, and no matter how far you come, you bring that mirror with you." Based on that quote, I want to talk about the following topics: The concept of "looking glass self" Verbal and non-verbal self-concept, and how we develop our identity based on both The empowerment process, and how encouragement plays a part Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Friluftsliv is a Norwegian word that roughly translates to "open-air living." Norway recently topped a survey of countries that rated its people on happiness, life satisfaction, nutrition, and health. Friluftsliv is often sited as the reason, and I tie this Norweigian philosophy to play therapy principles. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: Happiness, life satisfaction, nutrition, and health Helicopter parenting vs trial-and-error parenting Enjoyment and self-improvement Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

As parents, we all want our children to believe in themselves with confidence. But sometimes, even when we continue to reassure them, they lack the self-trust to tackle hard tasks or prove that they are capable. I got an email from a pitching coach (my son is a pitcher) discussing his take on what builds confidence in kids. He thinks that confidence comes from evidence of improvement, which aligns well with the play therapy philosophy. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: Battle between the head and heart The identity the child is working to establish What is the process of confidence coming from evidence Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

In this episode, I discuss the dangerous intersection of social media and drug culture. Snapchat and Instagram are the two most common platforms for advertising and selling drugs. According to recent statistics, the overdose mortality rate for teenagers increased by 94% from 2019 to 2020, with at least one in four teens acknowledging that they have seen drugs advertised and sold on social media. We must be informed parents and vigilant in monitoring our children's social media activity to prevent them from falling victim to the underground drug world. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: Teens are using emoji and secret lingo to find illegal drugs. How parents can crack the code

One of the parents at my center sent me an article by Deborah Farmer Kris titled: "Your middle school child is the most amazing person." I loved this author's perspective on middle schoolers and wanted to give a play therapy perspective. The author makes four points in the article that I add play therapy-based insight on: Middle schoolers are a jumble of contradictions Let your face light up Don't take their outbursts personally Remember that your child is listening Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: Your middle school child is the most amazing person

In this episode, I answer the most asked question at my counseling center... "How do I deal with timesharing". In it, I provide practical advice and strategies for co-parenting well in a timeshare situation, focusing on creating a stable, predictable routine for the child, finding the right balance between structure and flexibility, and prioritizing the child's well-being. Specific topics I discuss are: Co-parenting well in a timeshare situation Length of time between changes Having flexibility for the child's benefit Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

In this episode, we receive an email from Mike, a loving father who feels disconnected from his 9-year-old daughter. Mike has been listening to the podcast and feels that he may have contributed to his daughter's recent struggles with anger, negative self-esteem, and problems with her friends. I think everything points to a relationship fracture. So I talk about that and what to do. Mike also asks me "Can I fix it?" and the answer is yes, absolutely. Finally, I talk about his daughter's big emotions Please check the links below, as I've linked to other podcasts that will give you more understanding and explain some of the techniques I talk about. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: The Dad Episode! – 4 Tips For Dads Implementing Play Therapy Skills. A "Revolutionary" Thing: Empathizing And Listening To Your Kids – A Dad's Story The Importance of Learning to "BE" With Your Kid The Four "Pillars" of Play Therapy Overview Of Reflective Responding Reflective Responding In Play Therapy

I was struck by a story I read the other day about a teen who was heavily addicted to social media, and he went on a complete, cold-turkey detox away from social media. In this episode, I talk about the following topics: The story of an addicted teen The addictive nature of social media What a complete detox is like and the results Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

In a recent Pew Research survey, mental health emerged as the top concern for parents regarding their children. This was a little surprising to me, considering all the other issues that face parents and kids, such as drugs, alcohol, teenage pregnancy, getting in trouble with the law, and bullying. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: The list of concerns, and why mental health tops this list The concern about the suicide rates of kids How social media correlates with the decline in mental health What steps we can take as parents to protect our kids Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

One of the podcast listeners, Josh, emailed me and asked how to best connect with their baby. Play therapy principles still apply in relationship building with babies and infants! So in this episode, I'll go into how to connect and bond with your infant in three ways: Physical, Emotional, and Engagement. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

As a child therapist, I'm on the front lines of the damage that devices and social media are doing to our kids. The worst of all, in my opinion, is TikTok. There is nothing redeemable about TikTok, especially in light of what it's doing to our teens and young adults. In this episode, I talk about the following topics related to TikTok: The fact that China owns TikTok and what that means The dangerous content for kids The warnings that are coming out about TikTok Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

In this episode, I discuss the following topics: Three types of consequences: Natural, Related, and Unrelated consequences What changes behavior in children The goal of discipline

In this episode of the podcast, we will be exploring the often-controversial topic of spanking, by way of a viral video that I saw this week highlighting the ways in which some parents use excuses to justify their use of physical discipline. We will delve into the ways in which these justifications are often flawed, and how they can be harmful to children. We will also explore alternative methods of discipline that are more effective and less harmful to children. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, or simply interested in the topic, this episode will provide valuable insights into the debate surrounding spanking and the ways in which we can move beyond physical discipline in favor of more positive and effective approaches to parenting. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

"Every day, in a hundred small ways, our children ask us...Do you hear me? Do you see me? Do I matter? And their behavior often reflects our response." This is a powerful quote by L.R. Knost that perfectly describes play therapy and what I'm trying to communicate on this podcast. In this episode, I'm discussing the following topics: The "Be with" attitudes The Behavior Spectrum Labels that we put on our children's behavior Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Baker Acts (involuntary commission to a mental health facility) are on the rise, and there are many things that parents don't know. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: What you should know about the process at the Baker Act facility What you should know about psychiatrists prescribing medication Ways to advocate for your child as a parent so you don't get taken advantage of Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

I had a personal reminder the other day about how being outside promotes restorative sleep. So I tell that story in this episode, and then I relate it to how much kids are affected by simply getting some outdoor time, and how that helps the deep sleep cycle. All of this, in turn, affects everything about kids... their behavior, mood, emotional well-being, etc. Topics in this episode: Importance of deep, restorative sleep and how to make sure your kids are sleeping well Benefits of outdoor activities Consistent physical activity Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

We did it! In this 100th episode of the Play Therapy Parenting podcast, I take a look back (all the way to 2006!), and a look forward and where I'm going with everything. In this episode I talk about the following topics: The 4 most important lessons from the first 100 episodes of this podcast Where we are going Why I do this podcast and what is the purpose

This is a special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting podcast. I was invited to speak at a "Parent Huddle" at Discovery Church in Orlando, FL on the topic of kids and screens. I was given permission to record this talk so that I could share this with my podcast family, so I hope you enjoy this special episode!

It might seem backwards to think that kids treat the people the worst, that love and accept them the most. However, most times this is true of our kids. It shouldn't surprise you that your kids, to various degrees, "keep it together" during the day, and then when they get home to you, they lose it. This is normal and expected behavior, and when you understand the "why" behind it, you'll have a whole new perspective on your kid's behavior. In this episode, I dive into the following topics: Unconditional love and acceptance "Be a thermostat, not a thermometer" Behavior reflection and their internal state Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Acclaimed writer Stephen Covey said "Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change." In this episode, I apply this quote to children and parenting. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Hang on! This is a deep dive into how your child's brain works, and I'll explain why they sometimes act the way that they do. This episode was inspired after I read an article on Brain Harmony and I noticed a diagram representing a pyramidal hierarchy of child development. I noticed that this pyramid closely mapped to a set of "layers" common to play therapy. In this episode, I go over both hierarchies, how prioritization plays a role, and then I explain the 4-step model and how it maps to play therapy. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

I heard a quote once that "The good things parents do in excess, kids do in moderation. And the bad things parents do in moderation, kids do in excess." In this episode, I cover: Modeled learning nature of children Natural nature of children pushing boundaries and limits Our frustrations with children are mirrors into our behaviors Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

I recently got an email from Dan. Dan has been listening to the podcast and is in the "Play Therapy Parenting Family". He has been using play therapy skills and knows the "4 Pillars" of play therapy. However, Dan has challenges dealing with his kid's defiance. Dan responds with play therapy skills, but struggles implementing them. Dan asked me if I would do an episode just for Dads! So here are 4 challenges that Dads face, and I discuss and give tips for each of them. Dads are wired to be problem solvers Dads brains tend to be logical and rational Vulnerability and empathy are difficult for Dads Dads tend to have a need for control

In this episode, I talk through what to do when your children do not respond to play therapy skills. A Mom from Utah emailed me with some frustrations implementing the 4 Pillars and asked for my thoughts. I got permission to share her situation in this episode and we go through each of the points in detail. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: Play Therapy Fundamentals

A wonderful validation of what I teach parents happened to me on vacation a few weeks ago. One of the tips in the 10-week parent coaching program that I teach is to get on a kids eye level. So I did that to a kid in line at a McDonalds and you'll never believe what happened! In this episode of the podcast, I explain why being on eye level when interacting with kids is so important, how it removes the "power differential", and I talk about the connection that is formed when you get on eye level. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: Rules of Thumb Episodes

In this episode I talk through baby jealousy when a new baby is introduced to the family. These concepts also apply to other situations when a new family member is added, such as step-children, etc. But new babies are the most common situation when baby jealousy upsets the family and children dynamic. Three topics I discuss are: Dethroning, Understanding the age gap, and What to do about baby jealousy. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

We get it wrong when we interact with teens and pre-teens. At least, that was the main point of an interesting article I read this week. In this episode, I talk about how adolescence changes the dynamics of the family, and how we can make changes to the way we interact with our teens and pre-teens to maintain the relationship and connection we crave with them. My three main points in this podcast are: The fear of getting "shut out" is the root of ineffective interactions with teens. Stop asking questions. We forget and don't give kids credit for their capabilities and what they can handle. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: 4 Pillars of Play Therapy Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Goodness of Kids

Most parents are stuck in a "prison". I've called it the "Parenting Prison". In this episode, I'm going to tell you what the Parenting Prison is, and how to get out of it. I'll also touch on repeating familial cycles of parenting. We often parent the way we were parented (or the opposite)! I'll briefly go over several common parenting styles, and why they are all ineffective. And finally I'll discuss the #1 reason parenting responses are ineffective, and what you can do about it. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: Why Reasoning Doesn't Work with Kids Stop trying to reason and rationalize with your child! Why Reflecting Feelings Works (even on adults!) 4 Pillars of Play Therapy The "4 Pillars of Play Therapy" – A training presentation I gave to the 300 school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System in the Tampa, FL area.