Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

Stop beating yourself up over things that you don't know! In this episode, I go over a concept that I call the "Parenting Prison". I'll explain what that is and how to get out. Next I discuss that there is no guilt or blame in not knowing something. Our parenting is often passed down through generational cycles, so I discuss how this relates to the Parenting Prison. Finally, there is freedom in the acquisition of knowledge. Learning how to parent better is a liberating experience for you and your whole family.

I read an article that reinforces, from a medical standpoint, that social media is really harmful for our kids. A callout from the article: "Turns out the poorly regulated, 24-hour content mill of being Extremely Online is really threatening to our mental health!" I already knew this, but what is alarming is that the influences are going beyond mental health... social media (and this case, specifically TikTok videos) are affecting kids from a medical/physical standpoint. Links from this episode: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tanyachen/young-women-reporting-concerning-behavioral-changes-from https://www.wsj.com/articles/teen-girls-are-developing-tics-doctors-say-tiktok-could-be-a-factor-11634389201 If you're like me and your child is begging you for a phone, but there's no way you are going to let them have an internet-connected phone, I have a compromise between you and your kids! It's called Gabb Wireless. It's essentially a "dumb" phone (that isn't a flip phone). It looks like a smart phone, but it does not have internet-connected apps. You can call, text, and take photos/videos, and not much more! My listeners can get 50% off a Gabb phone or watch by Dec. 15th if you click on the following link. https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/play or use the promo code PLAY at checkout. Stay in contact with your kids without worrying about them being on the internet unsupervised. Get a Gabb phone or watch today!

Did you have to take a career class... in middle school? Did you learn pre-algebra... in 6th grade? In this episode, I'm exploring the question: Are schools pushing kids too far, too fast? First, I read a letter from my son's school that was the spark for this episode topic. Then I talk about what I'm calling the "separation of home and state". And finally, I end with a topic that I'm calling the "content push". After you listen to this episode, I'd love to hear from you.. if you agree, or disagree. Email me at [email protected]. Links from this episode: 3 Reasons Why We Chose To Homeschool (Probably Not The Reasons You're Thinking)

In this episode, I'm diving into Birth Order, and how that affects your children's personalities. I'm going to spend a little time on only children, in particular, but I do give an overview of first, middle, and babies of the family, so this episode has some great content if you have any number of children! My three main topics in this podcast are: the universal norms of birth order, what role-reversals, hybrids, and blends looks like and how that affects a child's personality, and then we will look at the unique subset of only children.

Increased screen use in school, homework load, and lack of time to just play. We have always monitored our son's schooling, but this year, in his transition to middle-school, my husband and I were alarmed at how school was taking over our lives. I'm not trying to convince anyone to homeschool in this episode. There's important information in this podcast for all parents... homeschoolers, those thinking about homeschool, and those not ever going to homeschool! I just want you, as a concerned and involved parent, to consider these three factors and objectively assess how school is impacting your family. Links from this episode: Finding A Balance Between Kids And Device Use "Digital Pacifiers" – Why Screen Use Is Harming, And Ruining Our Relationships With Our Kids Wake Up! Social Media is Ruining our Kids (TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, etc.) Pediatricians should prescribe PLAY! (not meds)

Do you say "Good job"? "That's what happens when..."? "If you do that again..."? I found a parents.com blog post titled "10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids", and I compare several of the "things" in this post to my 2011 post titled "10 Things Not To Say To Your Kids". Links from this episode: 10 Things Not to Say to Your Kids The Four "Pillars" of Play Therapy

Have you ever second-guessed yourself as a parent? Do you ever feel like you are not as successful as you want to be in your parenting? In this episode we look at three common "red flags" that might make you think you're failing, but are actually an indicator of success!

Do you wonder if your parenting style is helpful or harmful to your children's long-term well being? In this episode, we look at the characteristics of the Authoritative Parenting Style, which is categorized by high levels of both demandingness and responsiveness. We discuss the characteristics of authoritative parenting, the outcomes it produces in children, and a contrast with the other parenting styles.

If you have a young child between, say, 5 and 11, you've probably heard something shocking come out of their mouth like "I hate my life", or "I wish I were never born". In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how most parents respond in one of three ways. Then I discuss how to discover the emotion behind what they are saying and why that is the most important step in dealing with this. Finally, I give you a play therapy based way to respond to this that diffuses the emotions and preserves the relationship with your child.

If you follow this podcast, you know that I teach fundamentals and foundational parenting skills from a play therapy perspective. I do like to keep my "finger on the pulse" of parenting, and I search what's going on in the parenting world every so often. For a long time I have noticed that the posts that get the most attention (or at least that are at the top of search results for parenting) are "tips" and "secrets" type information. A post from Lifehacker.com made it to the top of the search results titled "16 of Our Best Parenting Hacks of 2021 So Far". After I read this post, I was happy to notice that several of these "hacks" were rooted in play therapy principles and fundamental teaching! It's nice to see that you can "hack" your parenting with play therapy!!

In this episode, I discuss a story about a Dad that does something "revolutionary"... he tried something new to help his son's tantrums and meltdowns.

Are you concerned that your kids spend too much time on devices? Do you wonder if there's a happy medium between no enough and too much? In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I discuss these questions, plus... The America Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) guidelines for device usage by age, How to track how much device time your child is actually getting each day, and I give you a practical tool for you use that helps your kids "earn" screen time, and helps you balance how much time they are getting.

In this episode I talk about my own "Field of Dreams" story. If you know me well, you'd know that I'm a huge baseball fan, and recently, the "Field of Dreams" game was played between the Yankees and White Sox played on the corn field from the movie. It reminded me that I'm in my own "Build it and they will come" moment in my life and business.

This is a special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast. I was invited to give a training/presentation to the 300, or so, school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System on Play Therapy techniques. So during this hour training, they were exposed to the philosophies and principles of play therapy, the "4 Pillars of Play Therapy", and then some bonus topics, including the impact excessive device use is having on kids today. [parts of content taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

I wonder how often you get frustrated when your child responds with one-word answers. (See what I did there?) Using "I wonder" statements with your children is one of the greatest techniques that play therapists use to interact with kids on their emotional level to bring out meaningful responses. In this episode, I explore the topics of questions vs. statements, "if you know enough to ask a question, then you can make a statement". and finally, the importance of keeping kids in their hearts.

In this episode, I comment on a blog post I saw on todaysparent.com that I couldn't ignore. "I love my kids, but I don't like parenting—and I know I'm not alone". So I'll unpack my thoughts on that by first exploring my opinion that many parents may feel like this because they are not properly equipped. Second, I explore how our reality as parents and our expectations as parents might be too divergent, and this is what's causing some parents to experience these feelings.

This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] "Encourage the effort rather than praise the product". Encouragement is probably the most important tool in your parenting toolbox even though you probably don't use it! In this episode I talk about the difference between praise vs. encouragement, the difference between outcome vs effort, and internal vs. external motivation. Learning to encourage instead of praise is instrumental in raising self-motivated, and self-empowered children that have high self-esteem. References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

You will never know what your child is capable of unless you allow them to try! I know it's hard to watch your child struggle with something, like opening lids on a jar, or tying their shoes, or trying to pack and lug around their sports bag, but did you know that when you constantly do things for your kids, you might be "programming" them for "learned incompetence" or "learned helplessness". This is in contrast to your child positively learning that they can do things for themselves, they just need to build their competence and confidence to do so, and you can help them by letting them "struggle" a little bit. So as long as they are at the age where it's appropriate for them to do that task, such as tying their own shoes at 5, or carrying their own baseball bag at 8, then you help them build their confidence and skills to handle their own problems in the future, instead of being in a state of perpetual helplessness. In this episode, I unpack all of these points as we dive into the Rule of Thumb from the CPRT training, "Never do for a child that which they can do for themselves". [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

We are a month into summer... are your kids driving you nuts? It could be that you need to add some structure back into your kids lives to prevent behavior issues. In this episode, I talk to you about the importance of structure and schedule in kid's lives, I give you a quick tip for the top 3 causes of behavior problems, and finally, why summer scheduling and structure is important for adults also. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts now!

This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy curriculum, which is the core training used in my In-Home Play Therapy program. "You can't give away what you do not possess." is a reminder that you need to be good to yourself as a parent, in order to grant patience, acceptance, and grace to your kids. References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Another Memorial Day weekend observation... I couldn't believe how many families were at our hotel (poolside, restaurant, lobby, etc.) all ignoring each other, with their faces glued to their "Digital Pacifiers!" The use by both adults and children was alarming. We need to be aware of how much screen time our children have, and realize how badly it is damaging the relationship we have with our kids. We also need to educate ourselves that psychologists, psychiatrists, and neuro-biologists are hired by these gaming companies, specifically to make devices, games and social media MORE ADDICTIVE. Finally, start being aware that as kids use more devices, diagnoses for anxiety is increasing dramatically. As a result, the prescribing of anxiety medication for kids has increased astronomically. We're also starting to see specialized facilities for "detoxing" off devices springing up nationwide. Device overuse in kids is spiking at an alarming rate, and if we don't start educating ourselves about the dangers, and making changes in our families, we are going to see generations of kids that are anxious, socially isolated, and addicted.

While my family was on a weekend getaway over Memorial Day weekend, I couldn't help but do some people watching while I was sitting by the pool, reading a book. I witnessed a perfect example of why it's futile to reason with a kid (a 4 year old, at that!) In this episode, I explore this concept of kids not having reasoning skills, how trying to reason with them often escalates the situation, and how a different tactic in responding to a child can completely change the outcome of what would normally be a frustrating situation. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts here!

"We are certain to make mistakes, but we can recover. It is how we handle our mistakes that makes the difference." This is such a great rule-of-thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy training that is the curriculum in my In-Home Play Therapy program. In this episode I talk about how if your relationship with your kids is broken somehow, that you need to fix it. When you do, you are modeling for your kids how to handle these situations. And finally, this rule of thumb teaches our kids ownership of their behavior. - The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting start now! References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

This is my 50th episode! I'm so grateful to my podcast listeners. In this episode, I'm looking back on my week's observation of the "Parenting Journey". Parenting is full of ups and downs, but we are all united in a goal of being the best parent we can be. We want happy kids and a happy family, and I'm honored that you spend time with me and that I'm a small part of your parenting journey.

One of the most important things we can do for our kids to cherish the relationship that we have with them. In this episode, I talk about a Rule of Thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Training, "Focus on the Donut, Not the Hole." We look at the importance of putting our attention on the good that exists already, spending the time necessary to build the connection, and why the relationship leads to the results that you want. References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode of the podcast, I talk about the natural consequence of child behavior. There are three points that I'd like to share with you regarding natural consequences. The first is that children are not rational. Next is that the natural consequence is different than discipline or punishment. Finally, when a child is given the opportunity to deal with the natural consequence of their behavior, they develop self control, self regulation and self responsibility.

One of the "Rules of Thumb" that we teach you in the In-Home Play Therapy program is this concept of "When a child is drowning, don't try to teach them to swim." In this podcast, I discuss why it is so important to remember that children don't have abstract reasoning skill until starting about 12. So "teaching a lesson" in the middle of an emotional moment for your child is absolutely futile... you need to meet them in their emotion to de-escalate the situation. References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

We all know that therapy is beneficial and that positive change is associated with the process. But what can you count on in terms of areas of growth when a child participates in play therapy? There are four universal outcomes of play therapy, regardless of what the child is dealing with when they begin. In this episode, I unpack each of the four outcomes and help you understand why growth in these areas are so beneficial for kids and their futures.

Often people assume that if talk therapy works with adults, it should work with kids, too. But have you ever asked your child a question about how they feel or why they did something and gotten, "I don't know" or a blank stare with a shrug? In this episode, I talk about how adults compartmentalize their lives into boxes. But children feel everything and their lives are a big tangle of emotions. I also explain how play therapy principles make sense to a child who isn't rational or logical. You will finally understand why kids need a different approach to dealing with their issues.

Do you know what your kids are doing on social media? Do you REALLY know? I work with a lot of pre-teens and teens every week, with debilitating personal issues. One of the common threads I see is social media use. If you really care about your kids, it's time to stop being passive, and start taking a more active role in supervising what your kids are doing on their devices.

Cutting: What You Need to Know as a Parent. Why kids are doing it. How they are finding out about it. How they are hiding it. How they are sharing it. What you can do about it.

You probably haven't heard many people talking about how badly our kids are absorbing the "adult response to the coronavirus". No one is really addressing it. The phones at my office are ringing off the hook with desperate parents trying to get help for their anxious kids. In this podcast, I talk about the problem, share three examples of what anxiety does to kids, and how you can effectively respond to your child, if you see the signs.

Often one of the underlying causes of emotional and behavioral struggles is that who the child wants to be (their "ideal self") is very different from who they are (their "actual self"). In this podcast exclusive, I share what happens in the playroom when a child is ready to bridge the gap between their actual and ideal self.

Parents are often concerned when children express angry or aggressive behavior. In this podcast exclusive I discuss how parents can recognize the deeper emotions driving the angry, aggressive behavior. Once you understand why kids default to anger, you will be able to respond in a way that helps them express their vulnerability and develop an emotional vocabulary.

Have you ever wondered if all the work you put into learning how to be a good parent is paying off? Have you noticed that the more consistent you are with applying your parenting skills, that you surprise yourself by how well you handle behavior situations with your kids? In this episode, I tell the story about how I noticed a parallel between something I have been personally training for, and how consistency and hard work pays off in your parenting.

Are you setting goals or resolutions for the new year? If so, is one to create a better relationship with your kids? Or to parent in a kinder way? In this episode, I share two main goals for 2021 that can start you off on the right foot in how you interact with your kids. If you just want to put 2020 behind you because of guilt over the way you handled parenting moments, then stick with me this year and I'll teach you how to build a better relationship and interact more kindly with your kids.

Are you loving your kids in the way that they feel love? You might be completely wasting your efforts in showing love to your kids, unless you are speaking their "language!" In this episode, I introduce you to the 5 Love Languages of Kids, so that you can know for sure that your kids feel loved by you.

We know that kids don't come with an instruction manual and parenting doesn't have a road map. That often leaves us confused, defeated, frustrated, and ashamed of our failures. It doesn't have to be that way! This episode highlights a question that I ask myself almost on a daily basis, and gives the key that opens the door to freedom from guilt, shame, and blame.

Is your child's behavior at school creating stress and anxiety in your family? Do you fear daily reports from the teacher? Are you unsure how to handle what's going on when you talk to the teacher or staff? I've helped many families navigate this issue in my private practice. When there are struggles at school, you have to address them directly. Use these simple tips to prepare you so that you feel confident talking to your kid's teacher.

Have you ever felt helpless to handle your children's anxiety and worries? Have you tried things that didn't seem to help? Do you want nothing more than to see your kids happy and worry free? With the sharp increase in child anxiety levels this year, it's important to have effective tools to help manage this struggle. In this second part of this two-part series, you get practical skills to reduce your frustration and their anxiety.

Do you wonder if some of your children's behaviors are related to anxiety? Have you seen an increase in big emotions, worry, fear, or confusion? Is one of the unforeseen fallouts of 2020 that our kids are experiencing increased anxiety? If the phone calls to my office are an indicator, this is the new childhood epidemic of this year. This is the first of a two-part series on recognizing anxiety in children, and how best to help your child through their worries.

Have you ever felt that your kids are too impulsive? Do they get out of control when they are overly excited? Are they quick to melt down when they don't get their way? Does their behavior seem reckless sometimes? A good predictor of adult success is how well a child can control their impulses. In this episode I share some tips with you to help your kids learn self-control.

You probably hate it when your child loses it when they get upset! But do you know what's going on in their brain when they have that reaction? In this episode, I explain the results from a study that reveals when a child says, "I'm angry," it decreases the emotional over-reaction. This is how kids can learn self control.

Kids say things that often lead us to the wrong conclusions about what is going on. A Yale study reveals how much our feelings influence what we think and do, especially children! This episode dives into the trick that helps us get to the heart of the emotion that our kids feel, rather than focusing on what they say.

Have you ever tried to explain to your child why something they did wasn't a good idea? We've all done it. But here's the problem... kids aren't rational until about 12 or 13, so you're wasting your time explaining things rationally to them. Kids are emotional and here-and-now. So to effectively communicate with them, you have to speak to their feelings and emotions. In this episode, Dr. Brenna tells you how that works.

One of the key practices in Play Therapy is figuring out the emotion behind the behavior. When you know what emotion is causing a child to act a certain way, you can then reflect that feeling back to them and often diffuse any behavior issues. In this episode, I discuss how many of the "big" emotions that children have are rooted in a sense of powerlessness. I discuss the science behind it, and how you can respond appropriately to reduce behavior issues.

Kids under 13 do not have rational thought, yet parents try to rationalize with their kids during discipline. This is completely futile! Kids are emotional, so it's more effective to meet them in their emotion, reflect their feeling, and if you impart some instruction, say it in 10 words or less! Anything beyond 10 words gets lost. In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna explains this "rule of thumb" that comes straight out of her 10-week private parent coaching called Child Parent Relationship Training (CPRT). For more information on CPRT visit www.thekidcounselor.com/cprt

In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna discusses how the American Academy of Pediatrics published their "best of" 2019 journal articles, and one of the studies explores prescribing PLAY to combat all the stress, busyness, and anxiety that kids are experiencing these days. This is something Play Therapists have known for over 100 years! It's nice to see the medical/pediatrics community acknowledging the benefits of play for kids.

In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna shares a parenting tip from her private parent coaching class (Child Parent Relationship Therapy [CPRT]) "Be a thermostat, not a thermometer" is a metaphor that teaches you how to RESPOND to your kids, instead of just REACTING to their emotional fluctuations. References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna just offers some encouragement during this time of unknown. As you adjust to this "new normal", and with kids doing school from home, and you possibly working from home, hopefully, we can reflect on some good things that are happening in families. So stay encouraged as we navigate this time we find ourselves in, and be leaders for your children.