Pick Six Movies

Nicholas Cage, Angelina Jolie, and Robert Duvall headline a remake of the 1974 gritty car heist classic. In this new version, the filmmakers take a bold new perspective on the source material, by removing all the car chases, action, and interesting parts of the original movie. If you’re looking for a mediocre time at the movies, this is a movie for you. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

It’s time for some illegal street racing excitement in this episode featuring the third installment of the Fast and Furious film franchise. Or maybe it’s the 7th? Or 13th? Is this even a Fast and Furious movie? It’s definitely not very good, we know that for sure. Join us as we continue this season’s theme “Hot Wheels” that’s all about cars and car-related activities. Don’t worry if you don’t speak Japanese, know anything about tricked-out street racers or heck even know how to drive, because neither does the hero of this movie. Buckle up. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We begin Season 10 of Pick Six Movies with one of the inspirations for this show, the Turd Ferguson, er, Burt Reynolds starrer, The Cannonball Run. It has all the wrong-headedness of a movie from the 80s with all the smirking insanity of a Burt Reynolds movie! Also, are we getting a window into the real relationship between Dom DeLuise and Burt? Is Jack Elam the best thing about this movie? And can this movie actually be labeled a “comedy?” For these answers and more, jump into season 10 of Pick Six Movies, Hot Wheels! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

For the first time, we offer up a bonus episode of a previous season as we deliver this special holiday gift for our loyal listeners. This special addition to Season 4 “The War on Christmas Movies” features the sequel to “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” featuring a madcap series of incomprehensible, loosely strung-together series of events featuring actors saying words that don’t make any sense. You wanted more Cousin Eddie, you got more Cousin Eddie. We hope you’re happy. We’re certainly not. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Firestarter” ends this Stephen King-inspired season with a bang! This movie has everything you could want in a movie. Drew Barrymore, David Keith, explosions, bloody noses, secret (maybe) military compounds, George C. Scott playing a Native American (maybe) who might be a pedophile (he’s definitely a pedophile), and Art Carney toting a shotgun. Join us as we wrap up episode six of this season with an ’80s classic that never disappoints. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Stephen King writes, appears in and directs this high octane, comet-created, maniac machine, terrifying tractor-trailer, swear word spewing technology-filled, let’s blow everything up movie! This film has dead kids and dead pets, deadly ice cream trucks, evil sentient self-flying airplanes, rocket launchers, a bible salesman, Lisa Simpson, pornographic wallpaper, a guy with an affinity for water sports, and on top of all that UFOs. It is one of the most insane movies ever reviewed on this show. It’s awesome. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Not all Stephen King film adaptations are based on novels. Some of them are based on short stories. This episode is an example of filmmakers taking one of King’s small narratives, expanding on it, and turning it into a dumpster. It’s full of actors and actresses who almost look like other famous actors and actresses. It does have Brad Dourif (pictured above clarifying what number he will be doing in the bathroom). Dourif is the most famous person in this movie and that says a lot. Join us as we head down into the basement to go looking to kill us some rats as we take on this disastrously bad movie. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Stephen King…I mean Richard Bachman wrote the novel that inspired this 80’s futuristic action classic starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Conchita Alonso and original host of “The Family Feud” Richard Dawson. This episode explores the fascinating history of Richard Bachman and has a thorough exploration of a movie that looks to be mostly filmed on a sound stage at night. Yes there are impressions of Arnold and Jessie Ventura and there’s so much more. It’s a good one. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

To celebrate our 50th episode we picked the Gary Busey spectacular, “Silver Bullet”. This werewolf filled cinematic nightmare is filled with so many twists and turns that you won’t know who the identity of the mysterious murdering werewolf is until the end of the first 10 minutes. (It’s the preacher.) Enjoy. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Carrie” was Stephen King’s first published novel and his first novel adapted into a motion picture. But we’re not talking about that movie, which received multiple Oscar nominations. No, we’re talking about the 2013 remake of “Carrie”, starring a cast of incredibly talented people that made a movie that’s a real dud. But that’s just how we like our movies here, filled with dud. My mother loved this episode and told me over and over again…”They’re all gonna’ laugh at you!” Thanks, mom. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Conan the Barbarian” wraps up this season of remakes and reboots. There’s a lot to unpack in this tale of warriors, witches, swords, revenge, hookahs, Coors Light, hot wings and the Edgar Winter Group rock classic “Frankenstein”. Let’s do this Bro! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Nicolas Cage stars in “The Wicker Man” remake from 2006. This movie is a psychological crime thriller set in a modern-day utopia where filmmakers deem it appropriate to have their heroic male lead beat up not one, not two, but three women in this movie. This movie is a crazy mess of misogyny, misdirection, and misguided efforts to remake a movie nobody wanted to see get remade. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Fantastic Four” is the 4th episode of this season’s theme “Not That One, This One” where we are taking on nothing but remakes and reboots. This film does an amazing job of making sure to never put the Fantastic Four together all at once until the last 10 minutes of the movie. We know, it’s not very good. Just the kind of movie that makes this show come alive. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The remake of “Poltergeist” gets us to the half way point of this season’s theme, “Not That One, This One”. It’s a truly amazing film in its ability to underwhelm audiences in all new and unexpected ways.In this episode we try to answer who really directed the original “Poltergeist” and keep forgetting that a remake was produced, even though that’s the movie we’re discussing. Strange indeed.Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jane Adams and Jared Harris all star in a remake of a 1980’s horror classic. That was a good movie and is why this show’s intro is all about the good one. So give a listen and enjoy the delightful train-wreck of a movie, “Poltergeist”. (Not that one, this one) ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Tim Burton’s “Planet of the Apes” continues this season of remakes, reboots and re-imaginations as Mark Wahlberg battles Tim Roth for the affection of Helena Bonham Carter in the time traveling, simian, sci-fi caper from 2001.Paul Giamatti shows up to trade slaves and sell drugs. Michael Clarke Duncan and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa are friends who become enemies, only to become enemies who become friends.Rick Baker ups his game from our last episode and delivers some outstanding ape costumes. But alas, the movie kind of stinks. Bad for them, good for you and me. Join us for this episode as we travel to the “Planet of the Apes”. Not that one, this one. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Jeff Bridges, Jessica Lange and Rick Baker in a King Kong suit come together to create one of the most impressive cinematic experiences ever put to film. This movie is an over-the-top, bi-centennial-filled, fuel crisis-inspired masterpiece of a bygone era most recognized by men’s obsession with thick sideburns, scraggly beards, and sexual assault. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We wrap up this season’s video game-inspired season with “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li”, a movie that’s part sequel, part prequel, and part reboot all at the same time. It may not be the worst movie we reviewed this season, but it’s darn close. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Adam Sandler and 80’s arcade nostalgia stars in “Pixels” a movie inspired by an internet short film, with characters from a documentary and a plot from an animated sitcom. Hollywood originality at its best. Plus, Dan Aykroyd shows up to sell us vodka and spout off crazy outer-space nonsense. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This season of video game-inspired movies takes to the skies with “Wing Commander” starring Freddie Prince Jr., Saffron Burrows, and Matthew Lillard. This movie came out in early 1999 and set the bar as to how bad a Star Wars-inspired movie could be. A few months later “The Phantom Menace” said hold my beer. This movie has space battles, sort of. Space drama, kind of. And space Cats, kind of, sort of. It’s a terrible movie. Enjoy. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“The Angry Birds” movie takes us to the halfway point of this season all inspired by video games. How does a game that’s essentially a digital version of a sideshow carnival scam become a major motion picture? Well listen to this episode and you will find out. Plus, we discuss all manner of bird concepts, including bird therapy, bird birth control, and bird water sports – all in a movie intended for children. You know, for kids. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Uwe Boll helms the subject of this episode filled with zombies, island raves, rogue police officers, gratuitous nudity and Clint Howard. Like most of the movies on this show, it’s not very good. But neither was the video game that inspired this movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJarPzwlOOA ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Tomb Raider” kicks off six movies all inspired by video games. The movie stars Angelina Jolie and a cast of hey I didn’t know they were in this movie actors and actresses. If you’ve never seen any Indiana Jones movies or James Bond movies or really any good movies ever, you might enjoy this film. Otherwise, we think you will enjoy our take on this stinker of a movie featuring one of the most famous female video game characters of all time. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This season’s theme “You Can Do It” wraps up with a super-sized episode based on the super-sexy film “Showgirls”. The only feature film to get a major theatrical release with an NC-17 rating. This movie has everything you would want in an NC-17-rated film and a lot of things you wish weren’t there. Prepare to be gobsmacked. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Basic Instinct” is the penultimate episode of this season's run of six movies that all have one thing on their mind. This movie is famous for one scene in particular, surrounded by a bunch of crazy 1990s cliches wrapped in a whodunit and topped off with some Hollywood lesbian stereotypes. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Wild Things” takes us to the swamps of Florida as this season’s theme, “You Can Do It” continues. This movie features lots of 20-somethings, pretending to be teenager-somethings, having sex with 40-somethings pretending to be 30-somethings. Double-crossing. Murder. Mystery. Bill Murray. Lesbian swimming make-out sessions. Teacher-student threesomes. Don’t worry, it’s worse than it sounds. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This episode is for all the ladies out there. Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey and a bunch of good looking people star in this beefcake filled tale of Tampa Bay strippers. This movie is Xquisite. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This season’s theme of “You Can Do It” continues with the Dudley Moore and Bo Derek film “10”. Oh yeah, this movie also stars Julie Andrews who was the real wife life of Blake Edwards, the writer and director of this movie. On a scale of 1 to 10, this movie is perfectly awful. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“50 Shades of Grey” kicks off this season’s theme “You Can Do It”, where we will explore six totally sexy movies. “50 Shades of Grey” is the first in a three part trilogy, based on the highly successful novels. It is also spectacularly bad. Which means this episode is spectacularly entertaining. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Suicide Squad” caps off this season of “The Old Men & DC” where we took on six live action motion pictures based on DC comic book characters. We’re going to be honest with you here. This is a super-sized episode. When something is this bad we have a lot to say about it. But don’t worry, there’s lots of fun to be had. Plus it’s full of cameos including, but not limited to Batman, The Flash, Aqua-Bro, Casey Kasem and I think Burt Reynolds shows up to eat some steak. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Catwoman” continues this season of six live action movies all based on DC comic book heroes and villains. Here you get to see Halley Berry do battle with the leaders of a sinister cosmetics company. This episode is filled with crazy cat ladies, celebrity cat cameos and whole lot of handsome detective Benjamin Bratt. And for bonus points, here’s Halley Berry’s Golden Raspberry acceptance speech. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this the penultimate episode of this season we proudly present “Justice League”. This movie is crammed full of superheroes including Batman, Wonder Woman, Cyborg, Aquaman and more. There’s resurrection. The band Steppenwolf shows up, I think. Skynet makes a terminator. Who knows what’s going on in this movie. Well, we do so join us as we discuss this Zack Snyder / Joss Whedon cinematic mash up. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Shaq headlines Steel in Episode 4 for this season, “The Old Men & DC” where we are taking on six movies from the DC Universe. This movie is based on Superman comics, but somehow doesn’t have Superman in it. But instead we get Judd Nelson. So that seems like an equal trade off… ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Return of Swamp Thing” continues this season’s theme “The Old Men & DC” where we are taking on six DC Comics inspired live action movies. This movie may be the best worst movie we’ve ever featured. It clearly has the most explosions, delivers a mosaic of disconnected plot points and it boldly showcases the worst acting of any film we’ve seen thus far. It’s truly terrible. We loved it. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Supergirl kicks off this season’s theme “The Old Men and DC,” where we are taking on six superhero-themed movies inspired by the pages of DC comics. In this episode, we take to the skies with Superman’s cousin to do battle with an evil witch who is determined to take over the world and make a hunky landscaper her sex slave.This movie stars Helen Slater as the title character alongside such Hollywood royalty as Faye Dunaway, Peter O’Toole and Mia Farrow for about sixty seconds. There’s invisible demons, love potions and lots of Popeye’s World Famous Chicken and Biscuits. This movie is truly bonkers.Yes, yes, we missed you, too! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Wrapping up this holiday season of “The War on Christmas Movies” is the 1985 classic, “Santa Claus the Movie”. David Huddleston, Dudley Moore star in this movie with John Lithgow popping up in act three to give away Christmas themed drugs that literally get children high.The characters eat food from McDonald’s and drink Coca-Cola and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. Henry Mancini does the music. What can you say about this movie? It’s awful. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Home Alone” is the heart warming holiday classic that focuses on holiday child abandonment, torture based home security and the misguided idea that the creepy old guy in your neighborhood is actually kind at heart.Macaulay Culkin goes head to heads against Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern in one of the most financially successful movies of all time. While Katherine O’Hara and John Candy to do battle over a human soul, because it’s Christmas. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this episode we go down the chimney with a sack full of toys and Tim Allen in 1994’s “The Santa Clause”. Every wonder how a convicted drug dealer can become the biggest star on the most family friendly network around? Well look no further as we explore the fascinating life of one of the most successful comics of the 1990’s and a holiday classic that spawned not one, but two sequels. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad team up in “Jingle All the Way” in pursuit of the most sought after toy of the holiday season. Does day drinking with a reindeer signal impending divorce? We say yes and a whole lot more. Join us as we examine the behavior and motives of one of the worst dad’s in Christmas movie history. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” continues this season’s theme of “The War on Christmas Movies”. This movie is a beloved family holiday classic that has everything to get you into the holiday spirit. Or after you hear us discuss it, it’s a dark examination of a mentally unstable patriarch where everyone around him is in constant fear for their lives. Merry Christmas! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The Y2K classic “Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas” begins Season 4’s theme “The War on Christmas…Movies!” In this episode we explore the life of Ted Geisel, get into how the TV special came to be and explain just how Jim Carey was selected to play The Grinch.This movie was directed by Ron Howard, feature’s cameos by almost all of his family and has scene with a good old fashioned 1970’s key party. On top of all this we get a back story of the Grinch’s childhood while the movie completely get the moral of the source material 100% wrong. Music Credits: “Wish Background” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies” Kevin MacLeod Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“The Wolfman” from 2010 caps off Episode 6 of this season’s them “Monsters Are Universal” where we examined six remakes of famous Universal Monster Movies. This movie features some of the best actors working today in some of their worst performances captures on film. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll howl at the moon. You may even piss on the rug and try to lick yourself clean. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

1985’s “The Bride”, a remake of the horror classic “Bride of Frankenstein” is the focus of Episode 5 of this season’s theme “Monsters Are Universal”. This movie stars Jennifer Beals, Clancy Brown, David Rappaport and Sting. This movie makes you laugh. It makes you cry. But mostly it makes you tilt you head slightly in stunned confusion. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

What if iconic horror director John Carpenter directed SNL founder Chevy Chase in a re-imagination of the sci-fi, horror remake of the 1933 film “The Invisible Man”? Well wonder no more! “Memoirs of an Invisible Man” continues this season’s theme of “Monsters Are Universal”. It’s not a comedy. It’s not a thriller. But it is a mess.Darryl Hannah is the lovely female lead. Sam Neil is our bad guy. Steven Tobolowski is our ray of sunshine. Michael McKean and Patricia Heaton have beach sex with their clothes on. There are some things you can’t un-see, even when they are invisible. This movie is one of those things. It’s pretty bad, but we had a lot of fun talking about it. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Is 2017’s “The Mummy” a remake? A reboot? A reinvention? Well, we do know that it is Episode 3 of this season’s theme “Monsters Are Universal” where we are looking at more recent interpretations of classic Universal monster movies. This was the film set to launch a shared “Dark Universe”. We answer the questions does the movie succeed? Does it fail? Would casting Nick Nolte and Steve Buschemi have made it better. The answers are absolutely not, in almost every frame and unquestionably yes.Here’s the famous IMAX trailer noted in the opening. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This season’s theme, “Monsters Are Universal”, continues with 1994’s “Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein” which was directed by and stars Kenneth Brannagh as the title character Dr. Victor Frankenstein alongside Robert De Niro as the creature. This is a supersized episode filled with hidden history, fascinating insights and some hilarious comedy from your two lovable hosts. So join us as we try to breathe life into this bombastically loud, pseudo-incestuous and occasionally brilliant interpretation of a literary classic. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“Monsters Are Universal” is the theme for season three of Pick Six Movies. We start things off with our take on Francis Ford Coppola’s take on Bram Stoker’s take on “Dracula”. This movie is so wonderfully over the top. It’s filled with bad accents, open-air carnival pornography, male lactation, bestiality and lots and lots of Dracula impressions from your two enchanting show hosts.Here is the extremely seductive trailer as a primer to the ridiculous discussion that we have around this sexy, Gothic nightmare of a movie. Music Credits: Danse Macabre Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Let’s spend “A Night at the Roxbury” to wrap up this season of SNL inspired films. This final installment follows human bobble heads Steve and Doug Butabi, played by Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan, through a series of poorly constructed and ultimately confusing series of events that culminates with the films credits. In short, it’s not a very good movie. But we had a lot of fun discussing the misadventures of these two dry humping, night clubbing brothers. There are M. Emmet Walsh impressions, rampant love for Molly Shannon, and the (welcome) return of Leon Phelps, who has plenty to say about these two dimwits.As always, we thank you for checking out the show! You can drop us a line at [email protected] and subscribe on iTunes and Stitcher!Listen to back episodes right here!We’ll be back for season three soon! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“The Ladies Man” stars Tim Meadows as his most memorable character from Saturday Night Live. In the fifth episode of this season we get learn more about Leon Phelps upbringing and really examine his relationships with an interesting cast of supporting characters, most of which are alcoholics, physically abusive, emotionally unavailable and self destructive.As always, we thank you for checking out the show! You can drop us a line at [email protected] and subscribe on iTunes and Stitcher!Listen to back episodes right here!We’ll be back next week with the late night antics of A Night at the Roxbury! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

You’re Good Enough, You’re Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like You.Come join us as we continue an exploration of SNL-inspired movies with Episode 4, “Stuart Saves His Family” starring Senator Al Franken, Criminal Intent’s own Vincent Vincent D’Onofrio, Harris Yulin a.k.a. – the angry judge from Ghostbusters 2 – and the ever lovely Laura San Giacomo.Take a listen as we hilariously discuss a movie about a family dealing with multiple forms of substance abuse and personal emotional turmoil.As always, we thank you for checking out the show! You can drop us a line at [email protected] and subscribe on iTunes and Stitcher!Listen to back episodes right here!We’ll be back next week with the sexy stylings of The Ladies Man! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

“It’s Pat” is the next film in this season “Live from New York!”. We finally get an answer to the question, “Who wanted to see a movie based on the SNL character Pat?”. The answer is apparently nobody. The quality of a movie is inversely proportional to our enjoyment of discussing it. “It’s Pat” is the worst movie we’ve reviewed to date and made for the most surprisingly enjoyable discussion of a movie thus far. This movie is terrible which made an incredibly fun episode.As always, we thank you for checking out the show! You can drop us a line at [email protected] and subscribe on iTunes and Stitcher!Listen to back episodes right here!We’ll be back next week with the far less horrible Stuart Saves His Family! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★