Myopia Movies

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood we have Swissmen playing Scots, Scots playing Spaniards, and a fair number of kitanas as Mr. Krabs kills hookers. Can you tell we watched a Canon Film? We saw Highlander, THERE CAN BE ONLY TWO SEQUELS...AND A TV SHOW...AND AN UPCOMING REBOOT!!!! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Defendant: Matthew Quinn Panel: Daniel

Deepest Bluest, my hat IS like a shark's fin. From red wine to the proper omelet recipe, this movie is what Jaws clearly always wanted to be; about the science? I think... How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Hoffmann Defendant: Matthew Quinn Panel: Jeremy and Steve

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, I am late uploading this because, ironically, I am in Washington DC as this week, we figure out if this money is trying to tell us something. We watched National Treasure, since I made the earlier comment, I want to promise the FBI I am not planning on stealing the Declaration of Independence. How will you stand when we put your past on trials? Host: Nicolas Defendant: Nicolas Panel: Daniel

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we dust off the Playstation and bust out a pixelated classic! Wait, we had to watch the movie version? Ewww....I'd rather get aroused by polygons any day. We watched Tomb Raider (2001), spoiler alert, it was the Illuminati! Like always! WAKE UP SHEEPLE! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Hoffmann Defendant: None, releases along with Tomb Raider 2018 Panel: Daniel, Matthew, Jeremy

This week on Myopia: Defend your Childhood, we watch Brendan Fraser learn how to survive in modern society again! This time with the help of pratfalls, John Cleese, and voice over narration! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Hoffmann Defendant: Nicolas Hoffmann Panel: Kelsey, Matt P, and Abbey

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, our hearts melt as the government takes away our alcoholic friend. We watched ET: The Extra-Terrestrial! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Defendant: Nicolas Panel: Lauren, Daniel, Matthew

Happy Valentine's Day! We arrived a day early to bring you a romantic classic about poison, vocabulary, and the legal definition of death; the Princess Bride! Come join the star of Saw, the First Lady from House of Cards, and a professional wrestler in a tale of mawwage! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Hoffmann Defendant: Everyone? Panel: Candace, Thomas, Kelsey

Prepare to get your cute and cuddly on, this movie has James Cromwell! Daniel and I try to crack the code on what makes Babe so lovable in a seemingly forgotten classic that is wonderfully charming! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nic Defendant: Nic Panel: Daniel

This time on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we look down the rabbit hole of the government hiding evidence of aliens! With only warrior for truth, Jesse "the Body" Ventura, there to stop it! Join two governors as they fight a hunter man and sort of the CIA. Finally with a new year in front of us, please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! If you are on the social platforms follows us on Facebook or Twitter! If you are a fan of history, we are starting season two my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an series of interviews; available where ever you get your podcasts! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Panel: Jeremy and Matthew

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we get our ass to Mars! We watched Total Recall (1990), filled with all the charisma that only Arnold Schwartenegger can bring! So crack out that third boob as we get into the world of Philip K. Dick! Plugs! Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer forMST3K season 11), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, and I as we tackle Flesh Gordon, on Friday, Jan 19th and then attempt to scrub off the unclean feelings! Afterwards, join us at CO for a meet and greet and a beer! I look forward to meeting all of you! Finally with a new year in front of us, please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! If you are on the social platforms follows us on Facebook or Twitter, and we are starting a new YouTube Channel, which will have all the trailers for the shows and movies we review! If you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Hoffmann Defendant: Matthew Panel: Jeremy

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky, They're all together ooky, the Addams Family. This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we have a feel good bit of fun with the Addams Family! Is it silly, yes! Is it funny, yes! Does it have a recognizable song that we try to sing despite being on Skype? You bet! Enjoy! Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer forMST3K season 11), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, and I tackle Flesh Gordon, and then attempt to scrub off the unclean feelings! Afterwards, join us at CO for a meet and greet and a beer! I look forward to meeting all of you! Finally with a new year in front of us, please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! If you are on the social platforms follows us on Facebook or Twitter, and we are starting a new YouTube Channel, which will have all the trailers for the shows and movies we review! If you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Hoffmann Defendant: Jon Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, and Matthew

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, John Hughes brings us back to a time were you couldn't use computers to look at pornography, so you had to use them to just make the women! What a crazy backward era! Also, crazy backward gender politics in a movie from someone who we thought knew better after Pretty in Pink, Breakfast Club, and Sixteen Candles. Oh, well, I guess threatening your SO's family with a gun was ok in Reagan's America. Also, dear friends, thanks for all of you who supported Cineprov last year and I will see you in January! Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer forMST3K season 11), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, and I tackle Flesh Gordon, and then attempt to scrub off the unclean feelings! Afterwards, join us at CO for a meet and greet and a beer! I look forward to meeting all of you! Finally, as the year winds down and a new one begins, please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! If you are on the social platforms follows us on Facebook or Twitter, and we are starting a new YouTube Channel, which will have all the trailers for the shows and movies we review! If you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Hoffmann Panel: Thomas, Jeremy, Daniel, Christina.

It's Gremlins week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood! Have you ever tried to get the perfect gift, but it turns out to be evil? Like you possessed dolls and so forth? Well, this is nothing like that because shit goes down due to incompetence! Please do mean a favor! Rate and review us! iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Defendant: Nicolas Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Jeremy, Thomas

Well now! Pour yourself a stiff eggnog and relax by the fire with this Christmas classic as smoooooooth as Bing Crosby's smacking hand. Bruce Willis? Woo! Alan Rickman! Yesss! REGINALD VELJOHNSON?!?!?!?!? FUCK YEA! We are not entering the debate as to whether or not this is a Christmas movie, but rather, is this the greatest of all time. Also, dear friends, thanks for all of you who supported Cineprov this year and I will see you in January! Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer for MST3K season 11), Evan (from Evan and Garrett Take On The World and 99x), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, Christine, Holly and me tackle Flesh Gordon! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Hoffmann Panel: Nicolas and Daniel

"Take a look, count to three, come with me, and you'll be in a world of Pure Imagination," I remembered that without lyric sheets, this movie is a favorite so listen as we have a bit of a love fest we even talk the Tim Burton meh version! This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we ponder is Grandpa Joe the greatest con artist of all time? We watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), he's just straight up killing kids, right? Also, dear friends, if you like live comedy and want to support me, your host, come and watch me do the joke’em’ups as Cineprov Ruins Childhood Memories! Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer for MST3K season 11), Evan (from Evan and Garrett Take On The World and 99x), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, Christine, Holly and me as we “welcome” in the “holidays” with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (The Rankin/Bass Classic) and The He-Man/She-Ra Christmas Special! Host: Nicolas Defendant: Nicolas Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Jeremy

Hello and Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you are preparing for or driving to a great meal! If not, I hope you are having a great day and we are getting you there. So we watched Dune (1984) and wow. I don't think we could say it any better than the director himself David Lynch. "Dune, I didn't have final cut on. It's the only film I've made where I didn't have. I didn't technically have final cut on The Elephant Man (1980), but Mel Brooks gave it to me, and on Dune the film, I started selling out, even in the script phase, knowing I didn't have final cut, and I sold out, so it was a slow dying-the-death, and a terrible, terrible experience. I don't know how it happened, I trusted that it would work out, but it was very naive and, the wrong move. In those days, the maximum length they figured I could have is two hours and seventeen minutes, and that's what the film is, so they wouldn't lose a screening a day, so once again, it's money talking, and not for the film at all, and so it was like compacted, and it hurt it, it hurt it. There is no other version. There's more stuff, but even that is putrefied." Also, dear friends, if you like live comedy and want to support me, your host, come and watch me do the joke’em’ups as I riff with Cineprov. How will Dune hold up? Host: Nicolas Defendant: Erin Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Well there, you know how the holidays seem fun and relaxing at first, but now that they are approaching, you just want to get away? Escape, if you will? Well, in honor of that (or, you know, just reaching), this week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we watched the CGI-tastic film Escape from LA (1996), the sequel America clamored for (?)! Also, dear friends, if you like live comedy and want to support me, your host, come and watch me do the joke'em'ups as I riff over Santa Claus (1958) (AKA Santa vs the Devil) with Cineprov. Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer for MST3K season 11), Evan (from Evan and Garrett Take On The World and 99x) and me as we "welcome" in the "holidays" as Santa fights the war on Christmas! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Defendant: Matt Panel: Erin, Daniel, Matthew

Hold on to your heterosexuality, this is going to get manly. This week on Myopia: Defend Your Child, we worry whether she lost it, you know...We watched Top Gun (1986), do you feel the need? And listen through the credits. Trust me. Please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts! If you prefer the live comedy, my comedy group Cineprov is riffing over the movie Santa Claus vs the Devil at the Plaza theater on 12/7! How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Defendant: Nicolas Panel: Daniel, Matthew, and Jeremy.

Why, hello there! Thank goodness we're done with that really creepy October (unless you want one more spook, than join my comedy group Cineprov is riffing over the movie Gargoyles (1972) at the Plaza theater on 11/2! THE DAY THIS DROPS). So this November, we decided to go with a little bit more family-friendly theme. We picked a handful of films that I, in particular, saw as a kid. All of these make me think of my brothers and family. We watched them together or they were always on. With that, we begin with a real train wreck. This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn that Macaulay Culkin and Christopher Lloyd made bad movies. (I know what you are thinking, but this is where I learned this). We watched The Pagemaster (1994), how would you like to curl up with a good book? Please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts!

Well there, buddy guy, Happy Tricks or Treats! Well, if you think all the peoples around deserve a treat, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts! If you prefer the live comedy, my comedy group Cineprov is riffing over the movie Gargoyles (1972) at the Plaza theater on 11/2 for all of your extra boogans!! This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we type in IDDQD as we enter a portal to hell itself! We watched Event Horizon (1997), From Hell? You don't believe in that kind of stuff, do you? How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nic Hoffmann Defendant: Jeremy Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Hey there friend, want to help out a guy? Well, here is the ticket! Rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts! If you prefer the live comedy, my comedy group Cineprov is riffing over the movie Gargoyles (1972) at the Plaza theater on 11/2! This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we hail to the King, baby! We watched Army of Darkness (1992), Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts? How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nicolas Hoffmann Defendant: Scott Panel: Matthew, Erin, Daniel

First this! Rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts! Finally, if you want to see me in person, you should see the comedy group I am in, Cineprov, as the riff over Devil Dog on TODAY as this comes out at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta (I will riff over the shorts at the beginning). In honor of Harrison Ford punching Ryan Gosling, I mean Blade Runner 2049, we divert from our standard spooky October procedure and watch a breathtaking film; Maelstrom...rather Blade Runner! Holy minatures Batman, this movie is excellent. How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nic Hoffmann Defendant: Jeremy Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Hey all! This week we admire some practical effects and love us some mustachioed Wilford Brimley and bemulleted Kurt Russell and get in the mood for some spookier and colder weather. Some news! There is exciting things coming to Myopia and Dudeletter Podcasting, so why not follow us on Facebook or join the Facebook Group! Follow us on Twitter @myopiapodcast! Rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! And if you are a fan of history, check out my History podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat; available where ever you get your podcasts! Finally, if you want to see me in person, you should see the comedy group I am in, Cineprov, as the riff over Devil Dog on October 5th at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta (I will riff over the shorts at the beginning). This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn a thing or two about dogs! We watched John Carpenter's The Thing (1982), the best case the 1980's ever made against global warming. How will you stand when we put your past on trial? Host: Nic Hoffmann Panel: Matthew, Matt, and Abbey

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we continue my series interviewing podcasts. This week we wrap up our bond month and talk movies with our Bond expert Matt Perini and talk about an upcoming spin off series, Mission Briefing! Enjoy!

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we start what I hope will be a continuing series. I will go on to interview movie podcasters, reviewers, and theater programmers to talk about how they got into the business, what films they love, and see if we can't put a piece of their past on trial. This week we have Eric Szyszka of We Hate Movies and Blame it On Outer Space. Enjoy!