Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

This week's Q&A episode is circling back to relationship anarchy and how to navigate it when most people either don't subscribe to it or don't even know what it is. If you want your question answered on a future Q&A join our Patreon community at www.patreon.com/multiamory.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we're exploring the difference between loving someone and liking someone. We're specifically discussing how it is we can love someone but also not like being around them very much, and if one feeling is more important than the other. We'll also be talking about how knowing the distinction between liking and loving can help us show up in our relationships, and as always we'll have some takeaways to help you navigate these distinctions.Take the Love & Like test we talk about in the episode here: https://www.idrlabs.com/love-and-liking/test.phpJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's Q&A episode is tackling emotional and sexual exclusivity and navigating polyamory as someone mostly adjacent to it. Interested in having your question answered on one of our future Q&A episodes? Join our Patreon community at patreon.com/multiamory. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about what it means to "settle" in a relationship. We'll be discussing if it's okay to settle and what realistic expectations of a relationship should be, compromise, and whether or not we should hold out for a perfect relationship. We're going to look at research and surveys about finding partners who meet expectations, weigh some pros and cons of compromising versus never settling, and how someone can know if they're settling or being too inflexible.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're tackling a question about sneaky hierarchy, aka sneakiarchy. We're talking about how to recognize it in future relationships, how to recognize when you might be creating it by accident, and more. If you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a member of our Patreon community! Visit www.multiamory.com/join to sign up. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about love languages, and taking a critical look at them to discuss whether or not they're actually as important as we make them out to be. We're going to go over some of the key assumptions behind the love languages and of course, look at what the research has to say. And finally, we discuss both the potential benefits and the possible pitfalls of relying too heavily on the love languages as a framework.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's Q&A episode is discussing couples' privilege and how to be cognizant of when it may affect interactions with other potential partners. If you want to submit a question to be answered on one of the extra Q&A episodes we're doing for the next few months, become one of our Patreon supporters at www.patreon.com/multiamory. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're talking about feeling possessive over a partner, the psychology and science behind it, and how even when non-monogamous, possessive feelings can still arise and create challenges for us. We'll even be discussing some times when a little bit of possessiveness can be a good thing!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's question from our Patreon supporters is discussing initiating sex, foreplay, and mismatched communications. If you want to submit a question to be answered on one of the extra Q&A episodes we're doing for the next few months, become one of our Patreon supporters at www.patreon.com/multiamory. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nobody LIKES feeling uncomfortable...but today we're going to be looking at a few ways we sometimes avoid discomfort that may be making the problem worse instead of better. We're taking a good hard look at the emotions a lot of us prefer to avoid, how distractions and quick fixes aren't the best things to do all the time, and explore some techniques for reclaiming your ability to feel your emotions and improve your relationships. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's question for our Q&A episode is addressing mismatched desire during busy, long-term partnered life and being stuck in "practical mode." If you want to submit a question to be answered on one of the extra Q&A episodes we're doing for the next few months, become one of our Patreon supporters at www.patreon.com/multiamory. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Jeff Guenther, also known online as TherapyJeff! Jeff has joined us to talk about what he does, therapy, non-monogamy, and much more!Jeff Guenther, aka TherapyJeff, is, according to him, the most handsome therapist on the internet and is an international treasure who made Portland Oregon cool when he moved there in 2005. Jeff dedicates his time to creating short videos for TikTok and Instagram, and hosting his weekly podcasts, 'Big Dating Energy' and Problem Solved.’ Honestly, we can’t believe he is on our show. What a blessing! Learn more about him at TherapyJeff.com.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

During this mini episode, we're answering just one question from our Patreon community. Today we're discussing reframing relationships, de-escalation, and acceptance. If you'd like to have your question answered on a future mini episode, visit patreon.com/multiamory and become one of our Patreon supporters!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Breakup season has passed, so we're going to spend an episode talking about independence is important for everyone, regardless of your relationship status. We'll go over some research and demographics, some common misconceptions about singlehood, and finally, some lessons we can all take to heart about being independent and prioritizing our own desires. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're talking about honesty, and what makes it difficult to be honest with a partner. We all have difficulty with being honest sometimes, whether it's sharing a negative opinion about something or disclosing information about other partnerships. We're going to go over some of the research about what sometimes stops us from being honest in our relationships, and share some tools that can help you feel more comfortable being vulnerable and honest with people you love. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about being open-minded: what it means, how it's often misunderstood, and how we're probably not as good at it as we think we are. Typically people think of open-mindedness as a good thing, especially among younger folks, but it's hard to research it, given how difficult it is to objectively measure. We'll be going over some of the research that has been done on open-mindedness, as well as some actionable tips about how to actually be more open-minded in everyday life. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're talking about slow dating and slow love, which was brought to our attention by Damona Hoffman in episode 456. We'll go over what slow love is, whether it's the answer to NRE woes or not, some of slow love's benefits and pitfalls, and how to decide if it's something that's right for you or not. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we have another Q&A episode, so we're diving into some listener questions. Some of the topics we're covering are what happens when just one relationship in a triad has to end, how to support a long distance partner, how to build confidence when you’ve been a “late bloomer” regarding sex and relationships, and what to do when a partner will not acknowledge their own jealousy. If you want to have your own question answered in a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Patreon community! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is an interview we did with Sara Sense of the Better in Bed podcast about jealousy and navigating it in the context of relationships and non-monogamy. Sara Tang is a certified sexologist and coach based in Hong Kong. She believes that sex is a skill and everyone can learn how to get better in bed. She is most passionate about helping people who had a limited sex education or culturally conservative upbringing feel more connected and confident with their sexuality. She started her platform Sarasense to provide tools and resources for people to get better educated about all aspects of sex and sexuality. Her podcast Better in Bed aims to normalize the conversations we have around sex, and reaches global audiences in over 88 countries. It was recently featured as one of the Best Sex Podcasts in Esquire and The Guardian. Find her on Instagram and Facebook @hellosarasense and check out her online course here.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For our second part of our non-monogamy in the workplace series, we're talking about how to actually go about opening up at work, what kinds of changes your organization can do to make the most impact the fastest, and why companies should care about being accepting and open. To tackle these topics, we're sharing some excerpts from an interview with Dr. Lily Lamboy from the OPEN Workplaces Initiative. Dr. Lily Lamboy is a social impact executive, educator, and researcher who currently serves as the Director of the Open Workplaces Initiative at the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy and the Co-Founder of the Modern Family Institute. She holds a PhD in Political Science from Stanford University, where she also served as a Lecturer in both the Rhetoric and Feminist, Gender & Sexuality Studies programs. Dr. Lamboy previously led the Diversity, Equity & Inclusion functions at both Stripe and Blue Shield of California, scaling both internal-facing employee-focused strategies and external-facing health equity, social justice, and economic initiatives. Find information about the organizations Dr. Lamboy is a part of at www.modernfamilyinstitute.org and www.open-love.org. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is the first part of a two-parter series on being out as non-monogamous at work. We're going to explore pros and cons being out at work, some tips on making the workplace a more welcoming place for diverse relationships, and some ways to help you decide if being out at work is the right decision or not for you.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're welcoming back Emily Nagoski to talk about her newest book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Emily is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Her next book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections will be out in January 2024.Emily earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're welcoming back Damona Hoffman, the Resident Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and OkCupid's Official Dating Coach. Damona is the host of the long-running podcast Dates & Mates, which has just begun airing its 10th season. She is also an advice columnist for the LA Times and a writer on dating and relationships for the Washington Post. Damona can frequently be seen on Access Daily sharing the latest dating news. We're going to be discussing her upcoming book, F the Fairytale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're excited to have a special episode this week! Today Dedeker is flying solo and having a fantastic conversation with board-certified dance/movement therapist Orit Krug. Orit Krug is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist and Licensed Creative Arts Therapist. Orit helps individuals & couples expand their capacity for self-love and intimacy in relationships by processing past trauma stored in the body. Orit is polyamorous, partnered, and a parent to a toddler.Dedeker and Orit discuss their experiences working with non-monogamous clients, dive into why there can be such a disconnect between your body and your brain when undertaking something new and scary like a non-traditional relationship, moving through sensations of jealousy, generating a sense of safe boundaries, and more!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy New Year to all! Our first episode of 2024 is diving into a discussion about shifting from non-monogamy to monogamy. We'll be talking about why someone might want to go back to monogamy, what the potential benefits or negative consequences of doing so are, and what you should be asking yourself if you're considering it for yourself. We'll also be discussing how to make the transition back to monogamy more ethical and respectful and giving some pointers to ease the process for everyone involved. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices