Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

Today, we're talking about work, and how your relationship with work can affect your relationship with others, whether you have similar or different views on it. We're also going to be looking at some of the most recent research about workaholic behaviors, as well as how to talk to your partner when you're both having difficulty concerning each other's work habits or schedules. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love bombing has become a hot topic both in psychology and on social media these days, and so during this episode, we're exploring what love bombing is, what the research says about it, and if it's actually a helpful concept. What does it mean for the future of the relationship, for example? What does it feel like to be on the receiving end of it? We're going to discuss all of this, as well as some actionable steps to take if you've been love bombed by a loved one. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're having our first Q&A episode in the new year with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova! During this episode, we learn a little about Dr. Zhana's work and answer some questions posed by our Patreon supporters. Dr. Zhana Vrangalova is a relationship scientist, consultant, and NYU adjunct professor of human sexuality. She’s a world-renowned expert in nonmonogamy and the creator of Open Smarter™, an online course that guides couples and individuals to identify and navigate the relationship type best suited for their unique personality and life circumstances.She holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Cornell University, and her scholarly work on nontraditional relationship styles has been published in several peer-reviewed journals. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @drzhana, and join her FREE Training on Open Relationships to discover your ideal relationship style.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the most searched relationship questions online is "Is it normal to have doubts about my relationship?" On today's episode, we're exploring that topic, asking is it normal? Why do we have doubts about our relationships? How can we tell the difference between doubts that stem from insecurities versus doubts that are a sign of more serious issues? We're going to discuss some research, and as always, some actionable tools to help when you're having these types of doubts. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For today's episode, we're joined by Damona Hoffman to talk about a variety of topics, including dating and modern dating culture, and she also answers some of our Patreon community's questions. Damona is the Resident Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and OkCupid's Official Dating Coach. Damona is the host of the long-running podcast Dates & Mates, which has just started airing its 10th Season. She is also an advice columnist for the LA Times and a writer on dating and relationships for the Washington Post. Damona can frequently be seen on Access Daily sharing the latest dating news.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We talk a lot about handling breakups in romantic relationships, but we haven't talked much about friendship breakups. In this episode, we're discussing some reasons why friendships end, research and statistics on friendship breakups, whether or not reconciliation is appropriate or possible, and of course, how to get through the difficult experience of you and a friend parting ways. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Glen Olson and Terry Lee Brussels, authors of the book "Fifty Years of Polyamory in America: A Guided Tour of a Growing Movement," join us for a deep discussion about their book, the history of polyamory, influences from literature and the idea of a utopian society, and more.Glen Olson is an author and historian of polyamory communities in America. He is a retired fire captain, paramedic, and technical writer. Over the years he has made presentations to colleges and science fiction conventions on the subject of open relationships and polyamory. Find more about Glen at glenolson.org.Terry Lee Brussel-Rogers is an author and hypnotherapist, helping clients with everything from intimacy without jealousy to spiritual growth and poly relationship coaching. Terry co-founded Live the Dream, an education and support group for people interested in alternative lifestyles, cooperative living, open relationships and group marriage. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kathy Labriola is back to discuss her most recent book with us, "Polyamorous Elders: Aging in Open Relationships," some of the inspiration that drove her to write about aging in polyamory, cultural narratives that affect how we perceive polyamorous elders, and more. Kathy Labriola is a nurse, counselor and hypnotherapist in private practice in Berkeley, California. Her mission is providing affordable mental health services to alternative communities. She has been a card-carrying bisexual and polyamorist for fifty years. She is a political activist and community organizer. As you can guess, she is extra crunchy and lives in a housing co-op, rides a bike, and raises chickens and organic vegetables. She is the author of four books on consensually nonmonogamous relationships: Love in Abundance, The Jealousy Workbook, The Polyamory Break-up Book, and Polyamorous Elders.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's our 400th episode! Join us for a conversation where we talk about how Multiamory is produced, all the people, money, and costs involved, and how the show has grown and changed over the years. We also discuss some of the best parts about doing this podcast, some positive AND negative stories, and finally, we wrap up this monumental episode with some discussion about the future of Multiamory. We want to thank all of our listeners and supporters so much for making this show possible and accessible. We could never have gotten this far without you all, and we look forward to many, many more years of Multiamory!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Author and professor Carrie Jenkins joins us this week to discuss her newest book, Sad Love: Romance and the Search for Meaning, and some of the principle themes in it. She goes into detail about questioning the relationship between happiness and love, eudaimonic love, "lovecrafting," and more.Carrie Jenkins is an author and philosophy professor who lives and works on the unceded territories of the Squamish, Tsleil-Waututh, and Musqueam First Nations. Carrie’s first novel, Victoria Sees It, was published in 2021 by Penguin Random House Canada, and shortlisted for the Frye Academy Award XIII and the Ethel Wilson Fiction Prize. Her non-fiction books include What Love Is and What It Could Be (Basic Books, 2017) and Sad Love: Romance and the Search For Meaning (Polity, 2022).Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is guaranteed to spark strong opinions. We're discussing relationship anarchy: can it be practiced in monogamy or is it a contradiction of terms? We'll be looking at some of the core components of relationship anarchy and how they can be applied in order to improve our relationships and work against the various normative systems that cause so many to be hurt, disenfranchised, or disempowered.For some more background and a deeper dive into relationship anarchy, check out Episode 150: Relationship Anarchy 101, and Episode 339: The Smorgasbord of Relationships. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back again with another Q&A episode to answer some of our listeners' questions! Today we're tackling the difficult topics of different nesting styles, different communication styles and discussing the future, discovering community in non-monogamy, unintentional impressions of hierarchy, navigating sex after a prolonged period of not having it, and polysaturation signs.Want your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Join our Patreon community!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Michael Kaye, head of communications at OKCupid! We're thrilled to have Michael join us to discuss online dating, how it has changed over the years and over the course of the pandemic, give some specific online dating advice and insight about dating trends, and answer some questions from our listeners about non-monogamous dating on OkCupid. Find more of Michael at @MichaelKayePR and @OkCupid on Instagram and Twitter respectively.OKCupid has also been generous enough to offer free premier subscriptions to Multiamory listeners! Listen to the end of the episode to find out how to get access to your free premier membership! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 2 of 50 Way to Handle Jealousy is here! Today's episode covers the final 24 out of the 50 tools we're discussing this series. Last week we discussed tools for your brain and tools for your body, and today the tools we're going over fall into the categories of tools for your relationships, and tools for your heart and soul.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everyone in a consensually non-monogamous relationship gets asked the question, "How do you deal with the jealousy?" Even people who have practiced non-monogamy for years or who never expected to experience jealousy do experience it, so it's worth building a toolkit for yourself to break into when you need it. In today's episode we're discussing it by going over 26 different tools that can be used to help us handle jealousy when it comes up (and it will come up!). Stay tuned for next week when we'll go over the remaining 24!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time for another Q&A style episode! We're discussing some of our Patreon supporters' questions concerning polysaturation, communicating about availability, feeling homesick for an existing partner when on a date with a new one, friends with benefits, and more!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have another episode about stress to share with you! Today's episode is a discussion on what stress is and how it can affect your partnerships, particularly if there is a disproportionate amount of it between partners. At the end of the episode, we will go over some ways to alleviate stress and promote healthier partnerships.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about love addiction! Love addiction is a bit of a controversial term to begin with, so today we're going to go over what addiction even is, how addictive behaviors can manifest in relationships, and the differences between healthy polyamory and love addiction. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Jessica Levity Daylover, elder millennial, polyamorous parent, entertainer, author, and more. Jessica has a BA in Philosophy and Sociology, and a certificate in LGBT/Gender Studies from the University of Wisconsin–Madison. After moving to Reno in 2008, she launched Homeslice Productions, which is the umbrella production company through which she produces all the pieces of her imagination: podcasts, shows, comedy, social media, game shows, murder mysteries, guided meditations, Remodeled Love, and more. Jessica has an honest conversation with us about parenting and the book she co-wrote about parenting while polyamorous.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another Q&A episode, and this time Libby Sinback is joining us to give her perspective as a queer, polyamorous mom. She is also the host of the podcast Making Polyamory Work and a coach for people who want extraordinary relationships while choosing to live and love outside the status quo. She is certified in Relational Life Therapy, and has coached hundreds of people in breaking their unhelpful relationship patterns so that they can have happier, more nourishing love in their life. Libby believes love is why we're here, and how we heal. We will be doing another Q&A episode in a month or so; stay tuned for that!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today brings us to part 2 in our series on our discussion about self-worth and comparison, with this part focusing more on the comparison aspect. We'll be covering how comparison can affect your relationships with not only significant others and peers, but also with yourself. We'll talk about some research done on comparison, and end things with some ways to stop comparing yourself to others and an exercise to explore your strengths that can be found here: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/strengths-exploration Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're kicking off part 1 of 2 in our series on self-worth and comparison and its impact, both positive and negative, on relationships. During this part of the series we're discussing self-worth and its relationship impact, reviewing some studies done about it, and sharing some steps you can take to gain a better sense of positive self-worth!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Drs. Marie Thouin and Sharon Flicker to discuss compersion and the research they have conducted about it. Dr. Marie Thouin was last on the podcast on episode 285 to discuss her compersion research that was not fully completed yet, so we are excited to have both her and Dr. Sharon Flicker here to go over their collaborative findings and discuss whether or not compersion is necessary in a relationship.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're looking at conflict in relationships, what you can do to make sure conflict isn't negatively affecting your relationship, some research on it and some ways we can apply these lessons to our everyday lives, whether that's in a romantic relationship or another type of relationship. We'll be looking at some common patterns of unhealthy conflict, some specific research studies on it, and some actionable takeaways to improve how we can do better when engaging in conflict.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Emma and Fin from the podcast Normalizing Non-Monogamy! We're doing another Q&A style episode where we answer some of our Patreon questions while also hearing perspective from both Emma and Fin. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices