Mothering Ourselves Mindfully

In today’s episode, I'm calling out one of the most repeated lines in coaching and personal development, and offering you something that's actually true instead. Spoiler: you have more control than you think - it's just not where you've been told to look for it.Key PointsWhy somatic work moves the needle in ways talk therapy can't — I spent years as a therapist talking through problems with women. Insight is valuable — but it's limited. When I discovered what was possible through body-based work, it changed everything. 90–95% of our experience is driven by unconscious programming living in our nervous system, and you simply can't talk your way out of that.What actually happens in a somatic session — Whether a client is brand new to this work or has been doing it for years, the experience is consistently the same: I can't believe what just came through. The body holds wisdom, intuition, and real-time healing that the mind can't access alone.Calling out the line everyone repeats — "The only thing you can control is your reaction." It's everywhere in coaching culture. And it's not quite true. If your unconscious nervous system is running the show — and for most of us, it is — you don't actually have control over your reactions in the moment. Telling yourself you should is just adding shame to the pile.The truth about control — You have very limited control over your in-the-moment reaction, especially when you're tired, triggered, or dysregulated. But you do have real, meaningful control over something: the support you choose, the practices you commit to, and the nervous system work you do in advance of those moments. That's the real lever.What the Flourished Mother actually looks like — She's not always calm. She's not always grounded. She feels the full spectrum of her humanness — including the anger — but she has the capacity to be with it. With presence, with grace, with compassion. And that capacity is built over time, through practice and support.Quotes"90 to 95% of our experience — the lens through which we see the world — is coming from our unconscious, which lives in our body.""You will be surprised. I am surprised every time — I didn't think anything was gonna come through. And wow, I am so grateful I did that.""You actually don't really have control over your reaction in the moment. But you do have control over the support that you decide to get.""What you do have control over is the reprogramming and the tending and the grounding you did to be in a body that supports you to react in the way that you want to.""Talking around in circles about the thing you wanna do is not going to help you change it in the moment."Resources MentionedFlourished Mother Map — A personalized session with Sarah to map your patterns and path forward: theschoolofmom.com/mapFlourish Community — Monthly membership for ongoing nervous system support and integration: http://theschoolofmom.com/flourishOne-on-one somatic sessions with Sarah — Reach out directly to book: http://theschoolofmom.com/private-coachingSend Sarah a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextIf this episode stirred something in you, the next step is simple: choose the support. Whether that's a Flourished Mother Map, a one-on-one session, or joining the Flourish community — the work you do before the moment is what changes the moment.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

What's the point? It's a question that can feel heavy — or become one of the most grounding, clarifying inquiries of your life. In this episode, I'm zooming way out on the School of MOM exists, the personal through-lines that have shaped this work, and what I truly hope for every mother who walks with me here. If you've ever found yourself swirling in the "why" of it all — around mothering, your life, your work — this one's for you.Key PointsHow to ask "what's the point?" from a place of curiosity rather than shutdown — and why the difference matters (nervous system style)The two personal through-lines behind the founding of the School of MOM: not becoming her, and becoming the mother to yourself that you never hadWhy Sarah is estranged from her mother — and how that painful, personal reality became the heart of this workThe "Apples" community: women who carry the weight of estranged or dysfunctional mother relationships, and why they don't need to explain themselvesWhy the goal isn't to learn more — it's integration: closing the gap between what you know and what you actually live in your bodyThe two roots of integration: embodied application of what you're learning, and wholeness — welcoming and tending to all parts of yourselfFlourish State Journaling: a powerful (and a little creepy-magical) practice for inhabiting your flourishing life as if it's already hereWhy community is the secret ingredient that makes integration sustainableA real-time moment from right before recording: what it looked like to actually be the Flourished Mother for her daughter — and why that's the whole pointQuotes"What's the point? Not from the lens of 'what's the point' — that's very dorsal vagal, very shutdown. But what is the point?""The next best person to fill the hole that's left when your mom can't fill the bucket is you.""Mothering Ourselves Mindfully was really about me becoming the mother to myself that I always needed and I never had.""I don't want my 30-something-year-old daughter attending a workshop on how and why she needs to make more time for herself.""Integration means closing the gap between what you know and what you feel and you're doing in your life.""This is it. This is what I've been working for — being that sturdy, compassionate, patient, loving human for her."Resources MentionedFlourished Mother Map — a personalized zoom-out experience with reflection questions and a custom video from Sarah. All Sarah, no AI: https://theschoolofmom.com/mapDiscover Your Dominant Inner Voice Quiz — discover your dominant inner voice (anxiety, shame, negativity, or perfectionist): https://theschoolofmom.com/quizFLOURISH Community — where Flourish State Journaling and other integration practices live, including live co-working calls on the community calendar: http://theschoolofmom.com/flourishWhat's Coming NextKeep asking the question. Whether it feels clarifying or a little jarring — that's the work. Come share how this episode lands for you, grab a Flourished Mother Map, and keep walking toward the most flourished version of yourself.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

I'm recording this one on a windy day, and it feels fitting because this episode is unfiltered. I've been sitting with a growing frustration around a word that I've used a lot in this space, and I need to talk about it: regulated. As much as I believe in what it means in the nervous system sense, something has shifted - in me, in this cultural moment, and in what I want to model for my daughters. So I'm officially retiring the word, and replacing it with something that actually captures what we're building here: flourished.Key PointsWhy "regulated" no longer works for me — The nervous system definition of regulated (moving through sympathetic and shutdown states and returning to grounded safety) is still true and valid. But the word itself has become too loaded — politically, culturally, and personally — to land the way it's meant to. Words matter, and this one isn't working anymore.The personal moment that sparked this — A heated exchange with my husband, a group call where another mom voiced the exact same frustration, and the realization that I was holding a layer of self-blame on top of the original trigger: I should be more regulated. Why aren't I more regulated? Sound familiar?The systemic piece we can't ignore — Women have been conditioned to keep their voices calm, their emotions contained, and their reactions palatable. The expectation to be "the regulated one" in the relationship, in the home, in the world — is a systemic pattern, not a personal failing.What I want instead: flourished — Your kids don't need a perfect mom. They don't need a regulated mom. They need a flourished mom. A mom who is lit up by what she's passionate about, who unapologetically feels her feelings, who trusts her rage and her rest and her seasons.The Flourished Mother archetypes — A breakdown of the inner archetypes that live inside the Flourished Mother:The Mindful Gardner — present, self-compassionate (both tender and fierce), a kind witness to herselfThe Boundary Boss — fierce and clear about what she needs to thrive, and unapologetic about itThe Rest Queen & Pleasure Goddess — rest and pleasure are not earned; they're key ingredients in the flourishing recipeThe Cyclical Celebrator — trusts the seasons of nature, the moon, and her own body; doesn't judge the winter or rush the bloomWhat the Flourished Mother actually asks of us — Not to be calm all the time. Not to perform regulation. But to be fully human: alive, passionate, emotionally honest, boundaried, and trusting the process.Permission to let go of regulated — If the word "regulated" has been shackling you — if you've been working overtime to be the composed, calm, measured one — this is your invitation to release that goal and find the word that actually fits. For me? It's flourished.Quotes"I don't want to be regulated. I want to be flourished.""Your kids don't need a perfect mom. They need a flourished mom.""She's the woman that is unapologetically living in a nervous system that is embracing the whole spectrum.""I don't want my girls to grow up feeling like they have to work so hard to be regulated all the time.""I want to be living my most fun, playful, unapologetically human life — which means I'm sad and I'm angry and I lose my temper. That's what I want to model."Resources Mentioned🌿 Flourished Mother Starter Kit — Five nervous system practices to begin awakening your inner Flourished Mother: https://theschoolofmom.com/starter 📬 Reach Sarah at [email protected]🎙️ Send Sarah a voice note: speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextStay close — we're continuing to explore what it actually looks and feels like to be a Flourished Mother, from the inside out.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

It's my birthday week, and I'm out on the road celebrating with something special — opening up a limited number of Flourished Mother Map sessions to the wider community for the very first time. In this episode, I walk you through exactly what the Flourished Mother Map is, why it's the foundation of everything we do in the School of MOM, and introduce a metaphor that might just change how you see your patterns forever: your motherhood GPS. We explore who programmed it, where it's actually taking you — and how to reroute.Key PointsWhat the Flourished Mother Map is and why women in Flourish consistently say it's worth the entire investment on its ownThe self-driving car metaphor: how most of us are being driven by unconscious programming we didn't choose and can't seeWhy having the right planner, system, or notebook will never get you to your destination if the GPS is programmed to go somewhere elseOne of the most common themes in Flourished Mother Maps: making time for ourselves and the beliefs that get in the wayThe "achieving first, rest later" programming so many high-functioning mothers carry — and what the updated belief system looks likeWhy we need support to make our own unconscious conscious (even Sarah, who coaches on this, needs her own coach)The garden metaphor: we can't blame the flower for not blooming — we have to look at the conditions it's planted inHow the Flourished Mother Map zooms out to show you where you are, where you're getting stuck, what's working, and what your path forward looks likeThe full School of MOM journey: starting with your Flourished Mother Map → integration in Flourish → your unique path to flourishingQuotes"You have been put in a self-driving car that has its own destination — and you didn't pick it.""You can have the newest planner, but you're still in the same place, because you're still in that outdated, unhelpful programming.""We can't blame the flower for not blooming. We have to look at the conditions that the flower is planted in.""My wellbeing, my nervous system state is at the nucleus of the thriving and flourishing of my family.""We need support to make our own unconscious conscious."Resources Mentioned🎂 Birthday Special — Flourished Mother Map: Limited spots available → https://checkout.theschoolofmom.com/map/🎙️ Send Sarah your voice note right here!: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextIf this episode had you wondering who's really driving your car, reach out — Sarah would love to do a Flourished Mother Map with you. And watch this space: exciting things are ahead at the School of MOM.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I talk about one of the most foundational concepts in the work we do here at The School of Mom: selves leadership. This is the thread that runs through everything — through the Mothering Ourselves Mindfully framework, through what it really means to want to "be a better mom," and through how we show up in a world that is desperately hungry for grounded, mature, emotionally attuned adults. If you've ever looked around and wondered where are the adults in the room? — this one is for you.Key PointsWhat "selves leadership" actually means — We are not just one self. We are a compilation of younger selves, reactive selves, and wiser selves. The inner work here is about tending to the contracted parts while awakening and amplifying the more grounded, steady parts that are ready to lead.The connection to attachment theory — Many of us grew up without a securely attached caregiver — without someone who was emotionally healthy, attuned, and present. Selves leadership is about becoming that secure attachment figure for yourself, inside the ecosystem of your own inner world. It's not too late.Awakening vs. creating — This is a crucial distinction. We are not building something from scratch. We are awakening what is already there. The steady, compassionate, resilient parts of you already exist — in your body, in your lineage, in your healed and wise ancestors, even if they weren't in your immediate family.The grief that comes with this work — There is real grief in realizing you didn't have the model you needed growing up. That's valid, and we make room for it. And and — we can grieve that while also discovering that the resource we're looking for is actually accessible within us.What's happening in our world right now — We are living in a moment with a real lack of grounded leadership. Our kids are watching. This isn't new — the feelings of hopelessness and overwhelm are ancient — but this moment is calling us to alchemize our anger and grief into effective action. That starts with leading ourselves.Emotional safety starts inside — When you learn to lead all parts of yourself, you create emotional safety for yourself first. Your kids then experience a parent who can return to steadiness — because you can return to steadiness in the ecosystem of your own inner world.You are being called, not invited — This is not a gentle nudge. Women and mothers everywhere are being called to wake up from inherited, programmed survival states. The more we stay in shutdown and hopelessness, the more we fuel the very systems we want to change.Quotes"We are becoming the unicorns here in The School of Mom.""No one is coming to save us. We actually have to become those humans that we so desperately crave in our lives.""Awakening versus creating — it's so much more challenging to create something from scratch than to tap into what is already there.""When mothers learn how to lead all parts of themselves, you create emotional safety for yourself — and you create emotional safety for your kids.""We all have an assignment right now, and that is to wake up."Resources MentionedThe Flourished Mother Starter Kit — Five nervous system practices to begin awakening your more grounded, mindful, discerning, and attuned self. Download it at https://theschoolofmom.com/start Mothering Ourselves Mindfully — Sarah's signature program. Learn more at https://theschoolofmom.com/momSend Sarah a voice message: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextWe're continuing to explore what it means to truly mother ourselves mindfully — not as a self-improvement project, but as a profound act of leadership. Stay close for what's coming next at The School of Mom.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm walking through a snowy winter scene reflecting on a question that's been coming up a lot lately: what does it really mean to want to be a better mom? I share the story of my very first brand positioning statement from 2020, why I pushed back on it then, and why five years later I've completely changed my mind. This episode is an invitation to explore how growth and self-compassion aren't opposites — and why wanting more for yourself as a mom is something to be proud of.Key PointsThe marketing positioning statement that made me anxious in 2020 — and why I embrace it nowWhy I was over-protecting moms from their own shame, and the shift I've made sinceThe difference between wanting to be better from a place of "I'm not enough" vs. "I'm ready and available"What "better" actually means in my world: more steady, more grounded, more integrated — not more perfectThe conversation I had with my daughters asking them how I could be a better mom — and what they saidWhy shame is like an appendix: we've largely evolved past needing it, and it rarely drives healthy actionWho I'm speaking to now: the self-aware, high-functioning mom who is activated by growth, not shamed by itHow wanting to be better actually helps us integrate the parts of ourselves that feel like they're never enoughQuotes"There is nothing wrong with you as you are, and you still get to want more from yourself.""Better, ironically, means that you've integrated the parts of yourselves that don't feel like they're good enough.""I am perfectly imperfect. I embrace all parts of myself — and they're super lucky because of that.""It's possible to grow and to be better without shame."Resources MentionedSend Sarah a voice note! → Send Sarah your voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomLearn more about Mothering Ourselves Mindfully → https://theschoolofmom.comEmail Sarah directly: [email protected]'s Coming NextIf this episode stirred something in you, send Sarah a voice note or share it with a mom friend you can go on a walk with and ask: "What does being a better mom mean to you?" Those are exactly the conversations the School of Mom is here for.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this rich and wide-ranging conversation, I'm joined by Leslie Forde — researcher, founder, and author of Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom's Hierarchy of Needs. Leslie's work began after a brutal return from maternity leave landed her in burnout, and what emerged from the wreckage was a research obsession that has since become a roadmap for mothers everywhere. We talk about the invisible forces quietly draining our energy, why moms have been left out of the health span movement, and why - backed by real data - your self-care is quite literally the most important thing you can do for your children.Key PointsThe Three Ghosts — the hidden forces sapping your time, energy, and wellbeing: mental load, decision fatigue, and time scarcity. Leslie breaks down what each one is, how they compound one another, and what you can actually do about them.The suitcase metaphor — why trying to fit your needs into an already overpacked life is like traveling with a tiny suitcase and giving all the space to everyone else. (And why it's time to get your own suitcase.)The biological limit on decisions — you have a decision budget each day. Once it's spent, it's spent. Understanding this changes how you structure your mornings, your work, and where you spend your mental energy.Time scarcity and the brain — research shows that whether the scarcity is food, money, or time, the neurological impact is the same. Mothers are disproportionately drowning in time scarcity, and it's not a personal failing — it's math.The health data that should stop us in our tracks — women live nine fewer healthy years than men, 80% of autoimmune disease sufferers are women, and postpartum suicide is a leading cause of maternal death. This is not a wellness trend. This is a health crisis.The number one predictor of a child's health and happiness — spoiler: it's their mother's health and happiness. The research is clear. Your nervous system regulation is your most important parenting tool.Why moms are being left out of the healthspan movement — men are biohacking their way to longevity while mothers are cleaning counters and filling out camp forms. Leslie is here to change that.Practical strategies — from batching decisions to protecting your mornings to asking your manager what they actually need, there are real, tangible ways to reclaim cognitive space and build a life that works for you.Quotes"We feel like it's our fault — but the reality is, we are trying to cram a week's worth of stuff into a two-day suitcase.""If you're not in good mental and physical health, it actually hurts your children. And nobody wins if you go down in flames.""Health for moms is my ministry.""You may have to fiercely defend your dignity and your human right to claim the space that you need. It's difficult, but it's necessary."Resources Mentioned📖 Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom's Hierarchy of Needs by Leslie Forde: https://a.co/d/0iHy0x8v🌐 Leslie's website + wellness app + research study: momshierarchyofneeds.com💼 Connect with Leslie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/momshierarchyofneeds/📖 Estrogen Matters — referenced by Leslie on menopause, health span, and longevity for women: https://a.co/d/08miRehAConnect with Sarah🎙️ Send Sarah your voice note right here! SpeakPipe — Send a voice message to The School of Mom: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomThank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

I’m braving the frigid New England temps to share this 5,000-foot view on why mothering ourselves mindfully has never been more timely or necessary. From the Epstein files to racist tweets from the White House, the world is asking us to wake up—and we cannot afford to stay stuck in rage or shutdown. This is your call to get on a “boat” you care about, own your experience, and stop waiting for someone else to save you, your kids, or the causes you care about. If you've been thinking "maybe later" or "I don't have time," this episode is the cold glass of water in the face you need.Key PointsWhy staying stuck in anger or hopelessness serves no one—not you, your family, or the causes you care aboutHow mothering ourselves mindfully is an act of resistance against systems that benefit from our overwhelmThe privilege and responsibility white women have to use our voices for goodWhy you cannot expect your children to be more emotionally grounded than you are—they learn from what we modelThe importance of "owning your experience" rather than staying in victim modeHow no one is coming to save you—but community and support can help you save yourselfThe boat metaphor: pick a boat, get on a boat, but don't stay on a sinking boatWhy transformation begins the moment you commit, even before the work startsThe question to ask yourself: Are you proud of how you're showing up right now?Quotes"We cannot, we can no longer put off the responsibility that we have to be conscious, compassionate, committed humans to our loved ones, to our communities, to our planet.""We can't expect our children to be more emotionally grounded and intelligent than we are. They have to learn it from us.""There is no time to waste because change takes a long time.""No one else is gonna step up. We need you. Your kids need you. You need you.""Are you proud of how you're showing up for yourself right now? How you're showing up for your kids and how you're showing up for the causes that you care about?""The transformation is in the transaction."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves Mindfully: Registration ends February 19th at midnight EST. Program starts February 23rd with weekly live calls for 8 weeks on Mondays at noon. Includes one-on-one call with Sarah, Spotify playlist for replays, and intentional buffer time. Learn more at https://theschoolofmom.com/momFlourish Community: Integration space for ongoing practice and community supportSend Sarah your voice note right here! SpeakPipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomThank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm diving into one of the biggest barriers I hear from women about joining The School of Mom: "I don't have time." Here's the truth that might sting a little: the very thing that will change your relationship with time IS this program. And the belief that you don't have time is exactly what's preventing you from the transformation you're seeking. I'm breaking down the neuroscience of "story follows state," sharing my own time scarcity moments, and explaining why our beliefs about time are actually rooted in our nervous system programming—not reality.Key PointsUnderstanding "story follows state" - how your nervous system state creates your beliefs about timeCommon time traps we fall into: "there's never enough time," "time is a thief," "you'll miss this one day"How stress states drive our scarcity beliefs around time versus ventral vagal (grounded) state beliefsWhy saying "I don't have time" is really "I'm not making time" - and that's okay to acknowledgeThe distinction between seasons where something truly doesn't fit versus when it's a priority issueHow writing a book taught me I can never say "I don't have time" againWhy multitasking won't work for nervous system healing - you actually need to pay attentionWhat will you wish you had made time for on your deathbed?Integration practices designed specifically for moms (not morning routines that don't work when you're sleep-deprived)When it's NOT a good time to join: deep postpartum, acute life transitions, major moves or illnessWhy I'm no longer spending time convincing women they have time - meeting you where you areQuotes"Story follows state. The state that we are in our nervous system, in our body dictates the lens through which we see the world.""When I slow down, time slows down.""I can never ever say again that I don't have time because I writing a book, hours and hours and hours of writing.""I do have time. I make time for what matters to me.""This is not another thing that you have to add on. It's changing how you move through what you're already doing.""People on their deathbed say they wish they were more present, they wish they had more time to play, they wish they were in that nervous system state that is that connected grounded state.""I am entering a new era where I no longer have time to try to convince you that you can make the time."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves Mindfully signature program - starting February 23rd: http://www.theschoolofmom.com/mom"It Is Round Time" - bonus training included with MOM program enrollment about rewiring your relationship with timeBook a call with Sarah to discuss if the program is right for you: https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/149935Send Sarah your voice note right here!What's Coming NextRegistration is open NOW for Mothering Ourselves Mindfully! This 8-week program includes four small group integration calls (Mondays at 12pm Eastern or Thursdays at 1pm Eastern) and four live teaching calls. Plus everyone who joins receives the complete "It Is Round Time" series as a bonus.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this short episode walking in a very snowy woods, I share an important shift I'm making with the MOM Program—and it's all about unscaling. While the business world tells us to scale, grow bigger, and involve ourselves less, I'm doing the opposite. I'm choosing intimacy, connection, and the kind of small group work I know transforms mothers' lives. If you've been contemplating joining but feeling stuck on time, logistics, or that familiar "will I actually follow through?" pattern, this episode is for you.Key PointsWhy I'm "unscaling" the Mom Program from multiple groups to one intimate cohort of 15 womenThe common thread in conversations with mothers: overwhelm, time scarcity, and the gap between what we know is good for us and what we're actually doingHow I'm simplifying the structure: 8 weeks, Mondays at 12pm Eastern, 8 live calls—that's itThe real question underneath "Can I make the time work?"—it's usually programming, not logisticsWhy money struggles are directly connected to your relationship with your mother (the "Money Matrix" = "Mother Matrix")The bonus I'm adding for early enrollees: a 30-minute one-on-one call to work through whatever's getting in your wayWhy most time obstacles aren't actually about moving mountains—they're about asking and worthiness workHow this program is designed so you can't hide—accountability baked into the small group structureWhy now is always the best time (and why I may not run another cohort in 2026 as I focus on writing my book)Quotes"It's just not my jam to strip down what I know is so powerful and important for women and mothers, and that is intimacy and connection.""I don't wanna sign up for something that I know I'm not gonna follow through with. Like I don't wanna sign up for more shame on myself.""When we actually look at it, it's not really moving mountains, it's usually just asking, right?""We move mountains for our kids and we need to move mountains for ourselves.""Money struggles are directly correlated to your relationship with your mom. We could simultaneously call the money matrix the Mother Matrix."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves Mindfully - 8-week signature program, enrollment open now for February start: http://www.theschoolofmom.com/momBook a call to talk through any stickiness you're bumping up against with joining the program: https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/149935Send Sarah your voice note right here! SpeakPipe - Send a voice message to theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextStay tuned for a full episode on money and the Mother Matrix—exploring why our relationship with investing in ourselves is intimately connected to our relationship with our mothers.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode recorded during a snowy winter walk, I'm sharing the huge announcement I've been building toward - and it starts with a powerful truth: awareness isn't enough. You can't think your way into change. I'm opening up about why support is the missing piece in our transformation, sharing a "weird woo" meditation experience that reminded me why community is non-negotiable, and officially announcing that Mothering Ourselves Mindfully is opening for enrollment! This is where The School of Mom began in 2020, and it's coming back more refined, more embodied, and more essential than ever.Key PointsWhy awareness alone isn't enough - you can't think your way into lasting changeThe reality that our conscious mind is only 5-10% of our experience - the rest is driven by our nervous systemThe flip side of unsubscribing: What do you want to subscribe to instead?Why unsubscribing from the belief that you can do this alone is the most important unsubscriptionHow my body speaks in full movies and visions during somatic meditationThe powerful meditation vision: flying alone through the storm vs. sitting in circle with other women, stoking our inner lightWhy the only way to fly through life's weather is to first sit in circle and become the lightThe truth that we don't have many models of emotionally attuned, grounded adults in our livesYou get to be the unicorn - and actually, you have to be, because no one else is stepping upWhy you can only give to others what you can give to yourself (backed by my entire grad school thesis!)How every time we teach or hear something, we're different people - that's why repetition isn't redundant, it's essentialThe urgency and timeliness of this work for your lineage - we don't have time to put it offQuotes"Awareness isn't enough. Awareness of why we do the things we do and what we're supposed to do to change it is not enough.""The missing piece in all of this is support.""If you are listening and you get to be [a unicorn], I want you to actually feel pride in the responsibility that you actually have to be, because we need grounded, attuned, steady adults in our world right now.""You can only be as compassionate to someone else, you can only love someone else, as much as you are compassionate and love yourself.""I am walking this walk with you. I am not gonna sit in a circle with you and try to support you in releasing your shame if I haven't been able to do that myself.""We don't have time to say, I don't have time for that. We don't have time to put it off. And now is the time.""Why not be the mom that triggers people when you're like, 'You know what? I just don't feel busy. I sleep really well.' You're not saying it to make someone feel bad, but you're being the unicorn."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves Mindfully - NOW OPEN for enrollment! Learn more at theschoolofmom.com/momUnsubscribe Integration Call & Replay - Not too late to join! Visit theschoolofmom.com/unsubscribeAlumni & Current Flourish Members - Check your email for your 50% off returning rateProgram kicks off the week of February 23rd - 8 weeks of foundational work for thriving as a humanSend Sarah your voice note right here!SpeakPipe - Send a voice message to theschoolofmom: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextMothering Ourselves Mindfully enrollment is OPEN NOW! This is a very well-established program refined over 6 years with hundreds of women. If you desire to be a mindful human, break cycles in your family, slow down, relinquish control, or drop the resentment - you need support. Come walk with us and be the unicorn your lineage needs.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this short episode recorded right before my kids get off the bus, I'm sharing two different pathways into the Unsubscribe inquiry - because sometimes the most accessible question isn't "what do I want to release?" but rather "what do I desire?" Discover which question resonates in your body, why that matters for your nervous system capacity, and how both sides of the coin work together. Plus, I'm sharing final details about our live Unsubscribe event happening January 28th at 7:15 PM EST!Key PointsThe two sides of the coin: what you're unsubscribing from and what you're subscribing toWhy "saying no to something means saying yes to something else" is a powerful grounding question for boundary-settingHow different questions are more accessible depending on your nervous system capacityThe Marie Kondo lesson: sometimes "what will I be sad to lose?" is more accessible than "what brings me joy?"Why your ability to access the "what do I desire?" question is actually a reflection of your nervous system's capacity to feel good feelingsHow many mothers have lost access to feelings of rest, joy, alignment, and groundednessThe importance of meeting yourself where you are - whether that's through releasing what you don't want or claiming what you do wantHow the body speaks in visions, sensations, colors, songs, memories, and images - not just wordsPractical moments to ask yourself these questions: in bed, in the car, in the shower, drinking your morning coffeeQuotes"When we are saying no to something, we are saying yes to something else.""I invite in this question with the very strong disclaimer that you don't always need something. We don't always need to fill the space.""That's a really cool reflection of where they are because it speaks to the nervous system capacity they have to be in the thing that they want more of.""The language of the body is very nuanced and sometimes elusive. We need to spend some time with our bodies to really actually tune into that language and understand it.""You start where you are, you meet yourself where you are at."Resources MentionedUnsubscribe Live Event: January 28th, 2026 at 7:15 PM EST - Register at theschoolofmom.com/unsubscribeSend Sarah your voice note right here! SpeakPipe - Send a voice message to https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextDon't miss our Unsubscribe live event on January 28th! If you're listening after the event, stay tuned for an exciting announcement about what's coming next - we're revealing something special at the closing of the Unsubscribe event.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I get specific about the question we've been exploring in my community this week: What am I ready to unsubscribe from? I share what mothers are bravely naming - from hypervigilance and overexplaining to busyness and shame around asking for help - and invite you to explore your own readiness for change. Using the stages of change model, we dig into what "ready enough" actually means, why thinking can't unwind what lives in the body, and how to discern between what we want to unsubscribe from versus the healthy cadence we actually need. This is essential prep work for our upcoming UNSUBSCRIBE live event on January 28th.Key PointsUnderstanding "ready enough" - why you're never 100% ready for change and that's okayThe stages of change model: denial, pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance/relapseHow to move along the readiness spectrum by examining the cost of staying the same versus the cost of changingWhat mothers are ready to unsubscribe from: hypervigilance, overexplaining, multitasking, self-doubt, shame around asking for help, guilt around saying no, being the emotional load bearer, pressure to hurry, control, managing everything perfectly while ignoring needs, Instagram, social media, group chats, and other people's moodsWhy you can't just "untick a box" - these patterns are embodied, not just intellectualThe importance of cadence and frequency - we don't want to eliminate anxiety completely, we need it at healthy intervalsWhy we can't be in two nervous system states at once (like shutdown and play simultaneously)What mothers want to subscribe to: rest, sleep, time in flow, trusting intuition, moving slowly, joyfulness with kids, travel, feeling like themselves, soup, puzzles, and the simple thingsWhy releasing the conflicting pattern is required to create space for what we desireQuotes"There's very few things in life that we are a hundred percent ready for.""If you're in the awareness stage and there's some significant discomfort...the discomfort of staying the same is getting more pronounced for you. That is a good indicator that it's time to move, that you are ready, getting more ready to change.""All of these that we wanna unsubscribe from are programs patterns that were never designed for flourishing or for thriving. These are patterns rooted in stress states and survival states in our bodies and in our nervous systems.""Thinking can't unwind what lives in the body. Insight is not enough.""When you're in shutdown, you can't also be in our safety state...That's where play lives, so we can't be in those two places at once.""We cannot teach something. We cannot model something for someone else if we have not attuned to it and healed it in ourselves."Resources MentionedUNSUBSCRIBE Live Event: January 28th in the evening - a 90-minute embodiment experience to unsubscribe from patterns at the physiological, somatic level. Register at https://theschoolofmom.com/unsubscribeStages of Change Model: Google this helpful framework from the addiction space for understanding readiness to change: https://www.elev8centers.com/blog/stages-of-change-modelSend Sarah your voice note right here!: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomThank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

Happy New Year! In this first episode of 2026, I'm literally walking on water—or rather, on the frozen pond in front of our house—as I invite you into an important post-holiday reflection. Before we rush into the new year, let's pause and mine the gold from what just happened. This episode is all about what was happening behind the magic-making of the holidays—the mental load, the emotional labor, the inherited programming that keeps us caught in patterns we never consciously chose. I'm sharing personal reflections from my own season and introducing a question that will guide us into the new year: What am I ready to unsubscribe from?Key PointsWhy we need to pause and reflect before rushing into the new yearReflection questions to uncover what felt light vs. heavy during the holidaysThe difference between traditions that nourish vs. those that depleteUnderstanding the mental and emotional load of "magic-making"How the holidays reveal patterns of over-functioning in mothersThe cost of being the default calendar keeper, peacemaker, and emotional load bearerWhy reflection without embodied integration keeps you stuck in the same patternsThe connection between overwhelm and memory loss in mothersHow awareness is just the doorway—the real work happens in the bodyWhy we're releasing the Gregorian calendar's pressure and honoring the Chinese New Year insteadReflection QuestionsWhat felt really light, nourishing, and genuinely joyful?What felt heavy, draining, or performative?When did I feel most alive and lit up like myself?What did I do out of expectation or "shoulds" rather than true desire?What boundaries did I hold or wish I had held?What am I clear I do NOT want to carry into next year's holiday?What felt meaningful enough that I want to repeat or deepen into it?Quotes"Every year we might say, 'Oh, I'm never gonna do this again' or 'Next year's gonna be better.' And then 365 days later... here we are again.""There is some inherited ways of the behind the scenes of the holidays that we never actually signed up for. That we are literally caught up in the rapids of.""Reflection without integration and embodied release is just you setting yourself up for being in the same patterns next year and just being more aware of them.""The sooner we can do this, the more present we are in our lives, the more memories we actually have of these great moments with our kids.""Your nervous system will choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven every time."Resources MentionedUNSUBSCRIBE Live Class - January 28th, 7:15-8:45pm EST: www.theschoolofmom.com/unsubscribeSend Sarah your voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextJoin me on January 28th for UNSUBSCRIBE—a powerful 90-minute embodiment experience where we'll go deeper than awareness and into the body where the patterns actually live. This isn't about managing your overwhelm; it's about releasing it at the root. We're collectively unsubscribing from inherited programming around guilt, resentment, rushing, and over-functioning. This is not a class to do with kids in the room—hire a babysitter, lock the door, maybe gather with a friend. It's free, but it requires your sacred presence and commitment. Let's start the year (the real one, which begins in February with the Chinese New Year) by releasing what's no longer in alignment with who we're becoming.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

Happy New Year! In this first episode of 2026, I'm sharing an incredibly important distinction: the difference between insight and MOMsight. If you've ever felt stuck knowing what you need to change but can't actually make the shift, this episode is for you. Walking a brand new path through the woods (literally!), I break down why awareness alone isn't enough for transformation, and what it actually takes to embody lasting change as a mother. Plus, I'm announcing our powerful kickoff gathering for the year: UNSUBSCRIBE.Key PointsThe distinction between insight (mental understanding) and MOMsight (embodied integration)Why 90-95% of your experience is driven by unconscious programmingUnderstanding that 80% of communication flows from body to brain (not the other way around)The difference between top-down (cognitive) and bottom-up (somatic) approaches to changeWhy insight can become a way to avoid doing the actual workHow nervous system work creates change "underneath the hood" that you'll notice over timeThe importance of choosing unfamiliar paths even when it feels uncomfortableWhy your patterns don't want you to change (familiar feels safe to your nervous system)Quotes "Insight is understanding what's happening, but how am I changing this without changing the circumstances that are contributing to my reactivity?""Why would I go for the 20% or that five to 10% of consciousness when I can work on the 80% or the 90 to 95% and just change the way I am at baseline?""The women in the School of Mom are the women who have the books and they've read them, but when it comes to the reflection questions at the end of the chapter... they don't do it.""When a mother can see and feel the full dance of the human experience happening in her body, she's no longer a victim to it.""Your nervous system will choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven every time.""We are not gonna pass along another generation of shame. It's not, we can't, ladies, we can't. It's actually not an option."Resources MentionedFlourished Mother Starter Kit (5 free nervous system practices): https://theschoolofmom.com/starterUNSUBSCRIBE Live Class - January 28th, 7:15-8:45pm EST: www.theschoolofmom.com/unsubscribeSend Sarah your voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextJoin me on January 28th for UNSUBSCRIBE - a powerful 90-minute gathering where we'll collectively honor the threshold from the year of the snake (releasing/shedding) to the year of the horse. This is not a class to do with kids in the room - hire a babysitter, lock the door, maybe gather with a friend. We'll be releasing the parts of ourselves that are no longer in alignment with who we're becoming. It's free, but it requires your sacred presence and commitment.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this powerful final episode of 2025, I share the biggest announcement to date on the podcast: I'm closing my group therapy practice, Parent Wellness Group. This isn't a story about failure - it's about releasing an identity that no longer aligns with who I'm becoming. Join me as I walk through the woods and reflect on the profound timing of this decision, the year of the snake's invitation to shed old skins, and what it means to truly embody the next version of yourself as you step into 2026.Key PointsAnnouncing the closing of Parent Wellness Group, a profitable and successful clinical therapy practiceUnderstanding the limitations of talk therapy and why insight alone doesn't create lasting changeThe profound timing of closing a nine-year cycle that began in 2016 when I started my clinical practiceHow 2025 (the year of the snake) has been about shedding and releasing old identitiesReflecting on the parallel experience of releasing yoga teaching to make space for The School of MomWhy holding onto the therapist identity was keeping me from fully stepping into my purposeThe difference between being liked and being effective as a guide for mothersMoving from therapist to embodiment guide - helping women move insight into their bodiesWhy familiar patterns keep us stuck even when they're no longer serving usWhat it means to embody your values rather than just understand them intellectuallyQuotes"I cannot authentically be in a group where I am guiding and supporting women to do the scary thing, to step into their next version of how good can it get, if I haven't done this for myself.""I am no longer interested in listening to women stay stuck in the same patterns that aren't actually serving them. I am no longer available for that.""We'll choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven every day.""I'm no longer responsible for your feelings and I'm not sorry about it. I'm responsible for being a guide to help you be responsible for your feelings.""You are never gonna get there if you simply think and talk about it.""To fully embrace and embody the identity that you're becoming, you can't have these competing identities."Reflection QuestionsWhat was happening for you in 2016-2017, and is there something resonating with the completion of this nine-year cycle?What has 2025 asked you to shed or release this year of the snake?What identities, patterns, or ways of living have been keeping you safe but are no longer aligned with who you are becoming?What part of you is familiar and safe but actually in conflict with your next level of flourishing?What's Coming NextThe podcast will return in January 2026 with a deep dive into the difference between insight (from therapy and meditation) and Mom-Site (embodied nervous system healing work).Mark Your CalendarLive Free Gathering: Wednesday, January 28th at 7:45 PM EST - A ritual and ceremonial offering to celebrate and honor our unique thresholds from the year of the snake to the year of the horse. Link coming in the new year.Send Sarah your voice note right here!: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomThank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In the final episode of our three-part HappIER Holiday series, we dive into the science of happiness - because while feeling all your emotions and getting clear on what happiness means to you are foundational, understanding what actually makes us happier is where transformation happens. Recording outside on a 20-degree December day, I share the research-backed truth that might surprise you: only 10% of your happiness comes from circumstances, while a full 40% is within your control through daily habits and practices.Key PointsWhy 50% of your happiness is genetic (your set point), but epigenetics means you can influence gene expression through environment and practicesThe happiness trap of "I'll be happy when..." and why only 10% of happiness is circumstantialUnderstanding affective forecasting: why humans are terrible at predicting future feelingsHedonic adaptation and why we return to our baseline happiness after getting the new shiny thing (or new life circumstance)The surprising research on money and happiness: there's a threshold where basic needs are met, after which spending matters more than earningWhy having kids doesn't boost overall happiness (even though it brings moments of joy)The 40% solution: science-backed strategies proven to increase happiness that are entirely within your controlThe gap between knowing what's good for you and actually doing it - and why fierce self-compassion is the bridgeThe 13+ Science-Backed Happiness StrategiesMindfulness - The foundation woven into all other strategiesGratitude - Expressing gratitude and having a gratitude practiceNurturing relationships - Being intentional about who you spend time withSavoring life's joys - Slowing down to really savor momentsFinding meaning - Looking for opportunities for growth and learning in every experienceDeveloping healthier coping strategies - Moving beyond scrolling and stress-eating to more nourishing practicesAvoiding overthinking and social comparison - Getting curious about these parts rather than fighting themPracticing compassion and self-compassion - The road all mindfulness leads toLeaning on signature strengths - Identifying and utilizing your top strengthsForgiveness - Releasing resentment for your own wellbeingDoing activities that engage you (Flow) - Finding what makes you lose track of timeTaking care of your body - In ways that honor your current season and stageOptimism - Looking on the bright side (or "holloing" it, as my dad would say!)Committing to your goals - Getting clear on what you want and working toward itFaith and spirituality - Connecting to something bigger than yourselfQuotes"We don't need to feel better. We need to get better at feeling." - Gabor Maté"Happiness is really an inside job.""There is a gap between what you know is good for you, what brings you happiness, and what you're actually doing.""Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.""Life is happening for us, not to us.""You're the product of the people you spend the most time with.""We cannot practice mindfulness authentically without practicing kindness and compassion. All roads lead to self-compassion."Resources MentionedProject 40 happiness initiative at Wentworth Institute of Technology: https://sites.wit.edu/witdeans/archives/311 Sonja Lyubomirsky - happiness researcher: https://thehowofhappiness.com/ Martin Seligman - UPenn positive psychology researcher: https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu/people/martin-ep-seligman Kristin Neff - self-compassion.org: https://self-compassion.org/ VIA Character Strengths Assessment (free): https://www.viacharacter.org/ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - Flow research: https://mlpp.pressbooks.pub/mavlearn/chapter/flow-theory/ Take the Inner Voice Quiz - Discover your dominant inner voice: http://theschoolofmom.com/quiz Join The School of MOM: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist Send Sarah your voice note right here!: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomSeries RecapEpisode 1: Feeling It All - We don't need to feel better, we need to get better at feeling. To feel happiness deeply, we must also feel sadness, grief, and all 87 emotions (not just the 3 most people can name).Episode 2: Getting Clear on What You Want - Before you can create happiness, you need to know what it actually looks, feels, and smells like for you. Specificity matters.Episode 3: The Science of Happiness - Understanding the research behind what actually makes us happier and implementing science-backed strategies that fit your life.Thank you for joining us for this three-part Happier Holidays series. Which happiness strategy resonates most with you? Send me a voice note and let me know!Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode of the Happier Holidays miniseries, I'm exploring a foundational question that we often skip right over: What does "happier" actually mean to you? Before we can create the holiday season we truly want, we need to get specific about what we're working toward—and that requires some intentional dreaming.I'll guide you through a visualization exercise to imagine your ideal holiday season, help you identify the internal parts (like "Cynical Sally") that might try to shut down your dreaming, and challenge you to get specific about what happiness actually looks, feels, and sounds like for you during this season.Key PointsMoving beyond the generic goal of "being happy" to get specific about what a happier holiday season actually means for youThe importance of having a clear vision—if you don't know what you want, how can you work toward it?Using your imagination to dream into your ideal holiday scenario: floating through the season in your mind and noticing what makes it feel goodRecognizing the protective parts of yourself (like "Cynical Sally" or "Inner Beth") that try to squash your dreams with "realistic" objectionsLearning to acknowledge these cynical parts while asking them to step aside: "Can we just dream a little bit?"Understanding that these protective parts keep us in what's familiar because familiar feels safe—even when it keeps us stuckGetting specific about your vision using all five senses: What does your happier holiday look, taste, sound, feel, and smell like?Recognizing that happiness is a spectrum—from quiet contentment to euphoric joy—not just the big momentsThe contentment side of the happiness spectrum is often happening around us but we're missing it, and it's much easier to create than euphoric momentsAsking yourself: "Who do I need to become to have this happier holiday?"Becoming the person for whom a happy holiday is non-negotiable—someone who knows they deserve and are worthy of the holiday they dream ofQuotes"What do you want? No, but what do you really want?""Half the time we want, or we think we want to be happier and to have a happier holiday. But like what do you really want? Like what does that mean?""If I don't have this awareness with her and give her an option, these parts of ourselves—they're so rooted in their protection of us—they wanna keep us in what's familiar because what's familiar is safe.""If you can imagine it, it is possible. If the dream is in you, it is for you.""You want to be the person where a happy holiday is non-negotiable for you. That's just what you do.""When I do this exercise and I think about happier holidays, it really doesn't have anything to do with the big, monumental, euphoric experiences. It has everything to do with the quiet moments."Resources MentionedTake the Inner Voice Quiz: theschoolofmom.com/quiz - Discover your dominant inner voice that gets in the way of thriving: http://theschoolofmom.com/quiz Join The School of MOM: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlistSend Sarah your voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmom What's Coming NextNext week, I'll be diving into the science of happiness—exploring what happiness actually is from a research perspective, and how understanding the specifics can help us create our happier holidays. I'll be sharing insights from my early work as a therapist when I developed Project 40 at Wentworth, a happiness initiative that won a college association award.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm starting our HappIER Holidays series in an unexpected place: grief. I share why allowing ourselves to feel the waves of sadness, loss, and uncomfortable emotions during the holiday season is actually the gateway to experiencing genuine joy and happiness. Drawing from my own experience with the loss of a healthy mother and the traditions that surface grief each year, I offer practical tools for riding the waves of difficult emotions so we can be more present for the moments that matter.Key PointsWhy grief often surfaces during the holidays, especially when traditions and family gatherings highlight absence or lossUnderstanding that we can't selectively numb emotions—when we shut down grief and sadness, we also lose access to joy and contentmentThe metaphor of grief as a wave: it will pass through if we allow it, but resistance keeps us stuckHow emotions have a 90-second shelf life when we fully allow ourselves to feel them without resistanceThe difference between healthy emotional release and unhealthy coping mechanisms (alcohol, sugar, shopping) that create false happinessWhy we need to "get better at feeling" rather than "feel better"—learning to be with all 87 human emotionsCreating safe spaces to feel big emotions: cars, closets, bathrooms, or with trusted people who can witness without judgmentHow showing appropriate emotion in front of our children teaches them emotional health while maintaining safetyThe power of connection with others who understand grief—you don't need to have experienced the exact same lossSetting boundaries around triggering traditions, people, or rituals to protect your tender heart during the seasonQuotes"Grief is kinda like that random hair on my chest—I know it's coming, but I don't necessarily know when.""We don't need to feel better. We need to get better at feeling." — Gabor Maté"If we can't be with and feel our waves of unpleasant emotions like grief, it's gonna be really hard to be in the pleasant emotions of joy and contentment and ease.""You can't pick and choose. If we don't feel sad, if we don't feel angry, we're gonna struggle to feel happy.""Emotions are energy in motion—these neurochemical processes that when given permission to move will move through you like a train through a tunnel.""If we ignore, deny, and resist our feelings of anger, sadness, and grief that are inevitable around the holidays, we will not have a happier holiday—or we will numb out with really unhealthy coping skills and have the illusion of a happy holiday."Resources MentionedAtlas of the Heart by Brené Brown—an encyclopedia of the 87 emotions we experience as humans: https://a.co/d/800nADj The School of Mom community—holding space for women to feel emotions without shame: https://theschoolofmom.com/ What's Coming NextMore episodes in the HappIER Holidays series exploring how to bring intention and genuine happiness to the season by working with our nervous systems rather than against them.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm joined by Stacy Gooding from Good Order Professional Organizing to explore how we can actually feel ease and joy heading into the holiday season instead of the usual tuck-and-roll survival mode. Stacy shares practical strategies for gift shopping, wrapping, hosting, and most importantly—putting yourself first so you can be present with the people you love.Key PointsUnderstanding that organizing and order in your life is not about perfection—perfection is the highest form of self-abuseGetting clear on who you're actually buying gifts for and having honest conversations with family about simplifying gift exchangesStarting holiday shopping early by blocking one hour per week beginning in September to order gifts graduallyThe game-changing strategy of wrapping gifts as they arrive rather than waiting for December 24thCreating a mobile wrapping station (three-tier cart) with all supplies in one accessible placeThe power of active listening throughout the year to discover meaningful gifts that make people feel seenHow to avoid the last-minute "I don't have enough" panic by planning stockings alongside regular gift purchasesSetting up your home for hosting success: preparing guest rooms thoughtfully, creating designated zones (snack station, coffee station), and clearing spaces before guests arriveThe importance of delegating tasks and letting go of control over things you care less aboutMaking your own well-being the non-negotiable priority on holiday morningsFocusing on the feeling and experience you want to create rather than perfect execution of every detailTreating December as a meditation to notice what works and what doesn't for future planningQuotes"Organizing and order in your life is not about perfection because perfection is the highest form of self-abuse.""We all wanna feel validated and seen. We wanna love and be loved in return. Giving a gift that says, I listen to you, I hear you—that's what matters.""The thing that we have absolutely no time for is the one thing we very much need, which is the time for ourselves.""You're always gonna remember how people make you feel. It's the feeling you're going for, not the perfection.""What would it be like to go into the holidays with your enjoyment and ease factor being the number one priority?""It is not possible to do all of this stuff in the four weeks leading up to the holiday. I refuse to do it to myself anymore."Resources MentionedGood Order Professional Organizing: https://www.goodorderllc.com/ (serving North Shore and Cape Ann areas)Three-tier rolling cart for wrapping supplies: https://a.co/d/hOlQvTJ What's Coming NextContinue exploring how to create intentional, nourishing experiences during the holiday season by putting your well-being first and letting go of perfectionism.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm challenging the idea of the perfect morning routine and offering something much more liberating - what I call the "cyclical start." As we move into the darker months with daylight savings behind us, I share why forcing yourself into a rigid or prescriptive morning routine might actually be working against your body's natural rhythms.I talk about why the words "morning routine" trigger so many moms, the reality of our cyclical nature as women, and how giving yourself radical permission to listen to your body can actually be more transformative than any prescribed 5 AM wake-up call.Key PointsThe Morning Routine TriggerWhy "morning routine" feels loaded and sometimes rage-inducing for mothersThe unpredictability of kids, sleep, and early motherhood yearsHow non-parent providers often suggest morning routines without understanding the realityThe loss of freedom, spontaneity, and time that triggers usWhy Traditional Morning Routines Don't WorkThe expectation that every morning should look the same isn't realisticFemale bodies are cyclical beings - not designed for rigid daily samenessHow seasons affect our energy and morning capacity differentlyThe resistance that comes from trying to force the same routine in winter as summerIntroducing the Cyclical StartHonoring the rhythms of your own body, the season, and your stage of motherhoodGiving yourself permission for mornings to look different day to day and week to weekLetting your body decide what it needs rather than following a prescriptionHow this approach reduces guilt and increases self-trustReleasing Rigid PrescriptionsThe journey from rigid rules about exercise, eating, and routines to body wisdomThe freedom of stopping alarm clocks and letting your body wake naturally (when possible)Some days waking at 5 AM, other days sleeping until 7 - and both being okayConnecting to natural rhythms like moon cycles and seasonsThe Bikram Yoga ParallelStarting with rigid 26-posture Bikram practice as a "safe" structureGetting reprimanded for drinking water and leaving earlyThe wake-up call that rigid prescriptions can harm rather than helpQuestioning where routines you once loved are now draining youRadical PermissionWhat if you gave yourself permission to sleep in every time?Trusting that your body knows what it needsHow radical rest often leads to natural energy returningThe difference between forcing yourself versus naturally waking with energyQuotes"Morning routine: why those two words are triggering on many levels.""The reality is -  every morning looking the same - I have come to find is not realistic... and it's actually not really in line with a female's body.""Starting cyclically means first you're honoring the rhythms of your own body, but also the season and the stage of motherhood and life that you're in.""What if you gave yourself radical permission to just sleep in and skip the thing that you've been forcing yourself to wake up for?""When you feel the natural rhythms, you're more and more connected to your body and what it needs on a given day.""Where is your body saying, 'Hey, this routine isn't really working for me'?"Reflection QuestionsWhat happens in your body when you hear the words "morning routine"?Are you forcing a morning practice that's actually draining you rather than energizing you?What would radical permission look like for your mornings right now?Where in your life are you following prescriptions that no longer serve your body or season of life?What would it feel like to let your body decide when to wake up?What's NextThis concept of the cyclical start is part of the School of Mom's work around awakening the cyclical celebrator - trusting the process and honoring natural rhythms. More insights from the book coming soon!Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm sharing some exciting news that feels like coming full circle - we're bringing back the original School of MOM program! After five years of evolution, experimentation, and walking alongside amazing women in this community, I'm reintroducing our signature foundational program with a new name and updated structure: Mothering Ourselves Mindfully.I'm taking you behind the scenes of how the School of MOM has evolved since launching on Mother's Day 2020, why we're bringing back a cohort-based learning model, and what this means for women who have been waiting for the right entry point into this work.Key PointsThe Journey From Then to NowHow the School of Mom launched in May 2020 with the original "Mothering Oneself Mindfully" programThe incredible women who have been on this journey from day one and witnessed every evolutionHow my own learning and understanding has deepened over five years - from mindfulness and self-compassion to nervous system healing and awakening the flourished motherThe intentional shift from "oneself" to "ourselves" and what it means for this workWhy We're Bringing Back a Cohort ModelThe challenge of self-paced learning: we all have the best intentions, but life happensThe difference between having access to content versus actually integrating it into your lifeThe power of walking through curriculum together as a cohort at the same timeHow community bonds and accountability make the learning stickWhy some of us (myself included!) simply don't do programs unless there's a live componentWhat Makes Learning Actually WorkWhy watching videos on 3x speed while doing dishes doesn't create transformationThe magic that happens in small group reflection and integrationHow asking "What did I learn? How am I going to walk this forward?" creates embodied changeThe School of Mom isn't here to dump information - it's here to help you integrate and actually become the human you're thinking about beingThe Structure of Mothering Ourselves MindfullyA nine-week foundational program starting February 2026Live teaching from me on the core components: mindfulness, self-compassion, and nervous system foundationsSmall groups for reflection, integration, and bringing teachings to lifeAccess to all modules plus the accountability and support to actually use themThink of it as "freshman year" - your entry point with your cohort of peopleThe Flourished Mother Starter KitFive nervous system practices to stop passing down stress to your kidsA way to start dabbling in this work before enrollment opensAvailable now when you join the waitlistFor Current Community Members and AlumniGratitude for the women who have been with me through every iterationAn invitation to share this opportunity with women in your life who've been asking "what's that thing you do?"Alumni welcome to return and deepen their practice - you're different now, I'm different now, the teachings have evolvedThe power of doing this work multiple times at different seasons of lifeQuotes"I've been fascinated with how the space that is the internet could create connection... I'm really passionate about the structure of our programs.""I've really journeyed with the women that have been with me from the beginning. But in doing that, I've left behind, on some level, the women that have been ready and waiting to begin their own journey.""We can all listen to things on three times speed in the background while we're doing the dishes and thinking about 17 things that we have to do, but we're not really getting that information and we're definitely not integrating it into our lives.""The integration happens when you actually pause and you say, what did I learn? What do I think about what I learned? How am I gonna walk forward and integrate in my body and my habits what I just learned?""The School of Mom is not just here to dump more information at people. It is here to help you integrate and actually be the human that you are thinking about being.""It's bloody brilliant." (Yes, I said that and I'm not even British!)"Each time they did it, it really deepened their understanding. They were able to learn and actually receive more and they were at a different season and stage of their lives."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves Mindfully ProgramEnrollment opens January 2026Program starts February 2026Nine weeks of live teaching and small group integrationSign up for the waitlist: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlistThe Flourished Mother Starter KitFive nervous system practices to stop passing down stress to your kidsFree when you join the waitlistDownload directly at: https://theschoolofmom.com/startWhat's Coming NextEnrollment for Mothering Ourselves Mindfully opens in January 2026, with the program beginning in February 2026. This is the first time in years we've opened doors for a cohort-based foundational program, so if you've been following along and wondering where to start - this is it. Join the waitlist at theschoolofmom.com/waitlist to be th

In this episode, I'm sharing an unexpectedly literal metaphor that emerged from our recent NOURISH retreat in Vermont. What started as resistance to emptying a compost toilet became a great life lesson about the inner work we're all called to do - and why we can't outsource our own transformation.I'm talking about what it really means to "deal with our own shit" - the uncomfortable inner work of facing our inner critic, anxiety, perfectionism, and strained relationships. And why, as much as we want shortcuts, there's no way around actually doing the work ourselves.Key PointsThe Compost Toilet MetaphorThe unexpected reality of a rustic retreat center with self-sustaining practicesMy initial resistance and feelings of unfairness about this taskHow one retreat participant helped shift my perspective with humor and companionshipThe bigger metaphor hiding in an uncomfortable weekend experienceWhy We Avoid Our Own "Stuff"We'd rather flush our problems away than see, smell, or relate to themThe inner critic, anxiety, perfectionism, and maternal relationship wounds we avoidThe "why do I have to be the one?" complaint we all feelWanting others to take out our metaphorical shit instead of owning it ourselvesThe Resistance IS the InvitationRumi's wisdom: "The wound is where the light enters"Seeing discomfort, conflict, and pain as teachers rather than problemsHow vulnerability in community creates powerful transformationWhat the women at the retreat courageously faced and feltWhat Are You Avoiding?The uncomfortable parts of yourself driving your life's busInner critics, doubt, fear, resistance, resentment, and anger that need attentionThe difference between what we can delegate vs. what we must face ourselvesWhy curiosity and kindness are essential when relating to our difficult partsThe Power of Not Doing It AloneCommunity as witness and companion in difficult inner workHow shared experience provides perspective when you're in the thick of itThe importance of bringing someone in - therapist, friend, or loved oneBeing witnessed with compassion so you can actually release what no longer servesThe Transformation: From Waste to NutrientsUnderstanding that nothing is truly waste - it all becomes fuel for growthThe humanure pile metaphor: how our "shit" feeds the ecosystemAlchemy, transformation, and reclamation in real timeHow our wounds become the nutrients that help new things flourishQuotes"You can't build the muscle if you don't go to the gym. You have to actually do the reps yourself.""The wound is where the light enters." - Rumi"When we actually see our stuff, when we put our shit out there, it can be the thing that allows us to throw it in the pile.""What is the uncomfortable shit that you are avoiding looking at, being in, relating to, and really taking ownership for?""It is not fun ever, or effective or helpful most of the time to do this alone.""When we really see our shit as the wound where the light enters, we realize that it can transform into nutrients.""It's never waste. It is fuel and it is nutrients that helps other things to grow."Reflection QuestionsWhat uncomfortable inner work are you trying to flush away without facing?What parts of yourself are you wanting to outsource that actually need your attention?Who could you invite into witness your process with compassion?Where is the resistance in your life actually pointing toward your growth?What's NextMore retreat reflections coming soon - stay tuned for deeper insights from this transformative weekend with courageous mothers doing the work.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, Sarah chats with Kristin Revere, owner and founder of Gold Coast Doulas and co-author of "Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby." Their conversation dives deep into what it truly means to feel supported as a mother—from the early postpartum days through the carpool-managing years.In this episode, we explore:The shift from independence to vulnerability: Why asking for help isn't weakness, it's wisdomWhat support actually feels like (hint: it's that sigh of relief when you can just breathe)Creative ways to build community when you're far from family or naturally introvertedWhy the "veteran mom" stage can actually be harder to find supportThe mental load conversation: dividing household tasks and knowing when to pay for helpSelf-care as a non-negotiable: filling your own cup so you can pour into othersHow tribal communities got it right—and what we've lost in modern American cultureKey takeaway: We aren't meant to mother alone. Whether it's finding your people through fitness classes, baby groups, or online communities like School of Mom, or investing in paid support like doulas, housekeepers, or laundry services—building your village is essential at every stage.About Kristin Revere: Kristin Revere is the owner and founder of Gold Coast Doulas in Grand Rapids, Michigan. She is an elite certified birth doula, a newborn care specialist, a childbirth educator, and an elite certified postpartum doula. She is the co-author of "Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby" and host of Ask the Doulas. She is a mom of two and bonus mom to one. Resources mentioned:Book: "Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby" by Kristin Revere: https://a.co/d/4zLvWPN Gold Coast Doulas services and virtual classes: https://www.goldcoastdoulas.com/ School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/ Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm sharing a new resource I've been working on behind the scenes - and it feels like a big milestone in the work I'm here to lead. After five years of creating workshops, handouts, and programs, I'm finally putting down roots in what I believe is at the heart of the School of Mom: lineage healing work and the opportunity to stop passing down generational patterns of stress and survival.I'm introducing the Flourished Mother Starter Kit: Five Nervous System Practices to Stop Passing Down Stress to Your Kids - a resource born from listening to my community's overwhelming desire to break the cycle and do the deeper nervous system healing work.Key PointsThe Generational Pattern You Can't UnseeThat moment when you catch yourself reacting exactly like your mom (or her mom)Why you're running on programming that was never really yours to begin withUnderstanding that your current patterns aren't your fault - but they are your responsibilityThe crack is where the light seeps through: reactivity as opportunity, not flawWhy Your Kids Don't Need a Perfect MomThe impossible goal of perfection and what it teaches our childrenWhat your kids actually need: a regulated mom who is comfortable in her own skinShifting from "what's wrong with me?" to celebrating your awarenessMoving from quick fixes to looking underneath the hood at the rootWhy the Nervous System Comes FirstWhen your nervous system is stuck in survival mode (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), showing up as the mom you want to be is nearly impossibleWe react in milliseconds - before we can pause, assess, or choose consciouslyStress, trauma, and programming live in our nervous system, not just our mindsThe good news: once we understand how patterns are imprinted in our biology, we can rewire themThe Problem with Mindset WorkOnly 5-10% of our experience is conscious (where mindset work lives)90-95% is unconscious and subconscious - driven by our body and nervous systemThe fire hose metaphor: trying to control thoughts as they spray out vs. changing the source of the waterWhy we need to focus on "body set" not just mindset to create lasting changeThe Five Nervous System Practices OverviewThe Radical Mom Pause - Interrupting mindless, unconscious loops by bringing your body out of autopilot and into the present moment. Awareness through breath, softening, and meeting your needs in real-time.Two Words: "Of Course" - When you notice yourself in an unwanted pattern, saying "of course this is where I'm at - this is my biology" interrupts self-blame and invites compassion. This shifts you from defensiveness into connection and safety.Self-Compassion and Repair - After a triggered moment, offering yourself compassion first (understanding the context of why you reacted) before repairing with your child. This is cycle-breaking in real time - modeling emotional resiliency and teaching that mistakes are part of being human.Be the Compassionate Presence Your Inner Child Needs - Learning to be the resource for your younger parts that may have never had that grounding presence. Understanding co-regulation: we self-regulate through relationship, and healing happens in relationship because trauma happens in relationship.Awakening the Flourished Mother in You - Connecting to your nervous system's safety state where compassion, playfulness, joy, and curiosity live. When we tune into the grounded, connected, resourced state, the stress naturally falls away. We're training our nervous system to recognize safety as familiar.The Ancestor Wisdom on FixationThe profound message about how we fixate on problems (anxiety, stress, perfectionism)When we tap into playfulness and resourced states, the fixating dissipates on its ownWhy focusing on stress alone misses half the equation in nervous system healingQuotes"Your kids don't need a perfect mom. They need a regulated one.""When you react, it's not a flaw, it's just your biology. It's not a personal weakness.""We can't always be conscious to try to override our programming. That's like mindset work means that we're really working hard to override our programming in the moment.""We cannot change what we're not aware of. So it all starts with the pause.""Of course, this is what I'm feeling because what I'm feeling is what I'm feeling.""Repair is probably the most important part of parenting, conscious parenting.""Healing happens in relationship because trauma happens in relationship.""When we tap into the playfulness, the fixating dissipates on its own.""When we tune into the grounded connected resource state, the stress falls away."Resources MentionedThe Flourished Mother Starter Kit - Download at http://www.theschoolofmom.com/start The Radical Mom Pause Toolkit - A free resource within the starter kitBooks mentioned: Carol Dweck's Mindset and Angela Duckworth's work on growth mindset: https://a.co/d/0IhsT3Z and https://a.co/d/c4D4Z8F Yoga Tune Up therapy balls for awakening grounded states in the bodyWhat's Coming NextTh

In this special episode, I'm joined by my dear friend Rebecca Howard Eudy, a couples and sex therapist, for an honest conversation about one of the topics parents struggle with most: sex and desire in long-term relationships. We recorded our usual walking conversation to talk about the questions that came up in our community - from "what's normal?" to navigating different levels of desire, and why connection outside the bedroom matters just as much as what happens inside it.Key PointsWhat's "Normal" Anyway?Why comparing your sex life to others is both tempting and unhelpfulThe truth: frequency matters less than how both partners feel about itThe single biggest issue that brings couples to sex therapy: difference in desireUnderstanding spontaneous desire vs. responsive desireWhy cultural stereotypes about sex drive create additional painThe High Desire/Low Desire DynamicHow testosterone influences spontaneous desire (typically higher in men)Why responsive desire means needing to feel aroused before feeling desireThe reality that desire levels can flip and change cyclicallyWhat happens when both partners have low desireHow resentment builds when there's a mismatch in initiationThe Mental Load of SexMoving beyond "what's wrong with me?" and "did I marry the wrong person?"Why obligation sex is deeply unsatisfying for both partnersHow sex becomes a "hot button issue" that couples can't even discussUnderstanding that frequency doesn't tell the whole storyThe panic spiral: counting days and feeling the pressure buildCommunication Is ForeplayWhy the low desire partner often avoids initiating any physical contactThe problem with waiting for your partner to initiate what you wantHow to be clear about desires: "I want to cuddle tonight, just cuddle"Why attunement to your partner's needs builds connectionThe importance of both partners being allowed to ask for what they wantOutside the Bedroom MattersHow emotional presence and connection throughout the day impacts desireWhy acts of service can be genuine foreplayThe need for effort and attunement, not just one-off gesturesUnderstanding that it's not the high desire partner's job alone to create the right environmentHow being on the same team translates to better intimacyCyclical Desire and Power StrugglesRecognizing how menstrual cycles affect desire levelsWhat happens when desire suddenly flips: "Now you want it?"How resentment can create complicated dynamics around initiationThe importance of flexibility and meeting each other where you areThe Sensate Focus ApproachTaking typical intercourse off the table to unlock authentic desireWhy prohibition often leads to "cheating" (which means it's working!)How the lower desire partner experiences relief when pressure is removedDiscovering what you actually want when the formula is disruptedThe connection between expressing needs outside vs. inside the bedroomOwning Your Own DesireThe challenge many women face in knowing what they wantUnderstanding you're not just a vessel for your partner's desireGetting clear on what actually turns you on or creates connectionWhy knowing what you don't want is actually valuable informationThe work of stepping into ownership rather than just being responsiveThe Vulnerability FactorWhy shame is one of the biggest blocks to healthy sexualityHow sex unlocks vulnerability for both partnersThe importance of showing up authentically, even when it's hardWhat happens when one partner shows up beautifully but the other can't meet them thereBuilding tolerance for the cycle of connection and disconnectionQuotes"What actually matters is how everybody in the relationship feels about the frequency.""The worst thing that we want is the thing that would be really scary is that our partners wouldn't want to be with us anymore.""You are avoiding initiating what you want because it doesn't feel like you're going to be able to get what you want.""The low desire partner never gets to ask for what they want.""When we say what we want and someone hears us and respects that, it fills a connection piece.""Skills don't always translate. I can do it for couples because you can see so clearly what's happening with somebody else. But when it comes to your own relationship... I don't particularly enjoy being vulnerable.""Beginning from a place of curiosity... take the best possible interpretation.""The more defensive you are, the less you have your own back."Resources MentionedParents in Love by Rebecca Howard Eudy - Available for pre-order, releases October 2025: https://a.co/d/2FBxhC2 Rebecca's website: http://rebeccaeudy.com/Rebecca’s Instagram, @rebeccahowardeudy: https://www.instagram.com/rebeccahowardeudy/ Rebecca’s Substack, @parentsinlove: https://substack.com/@parentsinlove The importance of couples therapy (both Sarah and Rebecca are advocates!)What's Coming NextStart by getting curious about your own desire - not just sexual desire, but what you actually want in moments of physical connection. A

In this episode, I share a recent reflection from my book-writing journey about the most common limiting belief we face as mothers: "I don't have time for that." After writing over 70,000 words by making time in the cracks of daily life, I've learned that time scarcity is often a story we tell ourselves rather than an absolute truth. This episode challenges you to examine what matters most to you and whether you're actually making time for it.Key PointsThe Time Scarcity TrapWhy "I don't have time" is probably the biggest belief we carry as mothersUnderstanding that we had more spontaneity and ease before becoming momsHow unconscious programming around how we "should" spend our time takes overRecognizing that self-care is usually the first thing to go when life gets chaoticMaking Time vs. Having TimeThe hard truth: It's not that you don't have time, it's that you're not making time for itHow the book-writing process revealed this pattern in real-timeWriting 73,000 words in the cracks: 15-minute sessions and longer chunks when possibleLearning to trust the process rather than forcing productivityAuditing Your PrioritiesExamining the hierarchy: kids, work, self-care, relationshipsAsking yourself if there's congruence between what matters and where your time goesUnderstanding that you don't need to spend all open hours with your childrenSometimes having childcare just to go for a walk is enoughThe Silent Retreat ExampleGoing offline for a full week as a mom: the ultimate "I don't have time" scenarioHow people say "that sounds great, but I could never make that work"The truth: I don't have time for it either, but I make it a priorityQuality of presence after time away is infinitely more impactful than constant physical presenceReframing the NarrativeMoving from "I don't have time" to "I'm not making time" changes everythingAvoiding extreme examples to feed into time scarcity beliefsGetting out of all-or-nothing thinking: Can you do this in short chunks?Asking yourself: If I was going to make time for it right now, what would that look like?Your Legacy ProjectDeciding what your personal version of "the book" isWhat lights you up or feels like a deep desire?Why are you letting everyone else's needs take priority over this?Understanding that no one will hand you extra hours on a golden platterIntegration PracticesCuriously and compassionately ask yourself: Is this true? Do I not have time or am I just not making time?Identify what you're saying yes to that could become a noNotice where time scarcity shows up in your bodyMother that scarcity belief with curiosity, compassion, and discernmentMake a choice to actually make time for what matters to youQuotes"It is not that you don't have time for it, it is that you are not making time for it.""It is the time for me to make this a priority in my life because no one is gonna hand over on a golden platter these extra hours.""The quality of presence with my kids, because of that time away, is infinitely more impactful than not going.""Challenge this scarcity belief in you. Tune into where you feel it in your body. Mother it in yourself."Resources MentionedThe School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/Mothering Ourselves First Reset: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/spaces/21046517/aboutWhat's Coming NextIdentify one thing you've been telling yourself you don't have time for. Get honest about whether it's truly a time issue or a priority issue. Then ask yourself: If I was going to make time for this thing that matters to me, what would that look like? Remember, you don't need perfect conditions or endless hours. You just need to decide it matters enough to rearrange your priorities and make some hard choices.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I recap a few wisdom nuggets from a recent Peloton class that perfectly align with the School of Mom philosophy. From exploring the three most powerful words in the English language to understanding how your energy speaks before you enter a room, this episode offers transformative insights on self-love, nervous system regulation, and rewriting the stories we want our children to tell about us.Key PointsThe Three Most Powerful WordsWhy "I love myself" are the three most powerful words in the English languageUnderstanding the difference between saying these words and truly embodying themHow most women struggle with self-criticism and self-hate instead of genuine self-loveThe challenge of receiving compassion versus easily giving it to othersWorking through the protective parts that resist self-love and self-compassionYour Energy Speaks FirstHow to be the woman whose energy speaks before she enters the roomUnderstanding that 55% of communication is body language, with words being the smallest percentageThe concept of limbic resonance and how we catch each other's energyExamining what your body unconsciously communicates when you walk into a roomThe story of Thich Nhat Hanh commanding presence without words in Boston's Copley SquareProgramming for FlourishingRecognizing that you're programmed for both survival and flourishingUnderstanding why survival programming is stronger and more automaticHow the neural pathways we travel most become the most pronouncedLearning to tap into your inherent programming for thriving and presenceWorking consciously to strengthen flourishing pathways over survival patternsRewriting Your StoryThe Legacy QuestionAsking yourself: "What story are they going to tell about you?"Understanding that you get to write this story through your daily choicesMoving beyond victimhood narratives to ones of empowerment and growthHow your story influences generations of people around youThe ripple effect of embodying self-love in coffee shops, with colleagues, and in communityBreaking Generational PatternsRewriting programming around doubt and self-worth in family lineagesChoosing to prioritize self-care unapologetically as a model for childrenUnderstanding that your impact is a direct reflection of how you spend time with yourselfMoving from survival-mode parenting to conscious, present motheringTaking Up SpaceDone ApologizingWe're done apologizing for taking up space and playing smallUnderstanding the programming that makes us shrink when we enter roomsRewriting narratives around our worthiness to be seen and heardThe goal of being like "Shavasana" for people - communicating presence, compassion, and confidenceIntegration PracticesExamining your relationship with the words "I love myself" and what comes upNoticing what your body language communicates before you speakIdentifying the people in your life who support your flourishing versus survival programmingConsidering what story you want your loved ones to tell about youPracticing presence and self-worth as gifts to your communityQuotes"The three most powerful words in the English language are, I love myself.""Be the woman whose energy speaks before she enters the room.""You're programmed for flourishing. You are. You just need to learn how to actually tap into that program.""What story are they going to tell about you? You get to write it.""We're done apologizing for taking up space, we're done playing small."Resources MentionedRobin Arzon Peloton class from 2020 (challenging 20-minute ride): https://members.onepeloton.com/classes/cycling?utm_source=ios_app&utm_medium=in_app&modal=classDetailsModal&classId=bb87ae4e531342bdbc915e30a63972c3&code=OTE5OGNmZTAyMDkwNDc1NWJjY2EyZWI2YzFmOGJlY2N8NzQyOGJhYjMzODA0NDJlNDhhZWVmNDQwMTIyNDdlYmU%3D&locale=en-US The School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/  Mothering Ourselves First Reset: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/spaces/21046517/about What's Coming NextChallenge yourself to embody the three most powerful words: "I love myself." Notice what your energy communicates before you enter rooms, and begin consciously writing the story you want others to tell about you. Remember that you're programmed for flourishing - it's time to strengthen those neural pathways and step into the fullness of who you're meant to be.

In this thought-provoking episode, we examine two well-used self-care phrases that might actually be working against us as mothers. From questioning the limitations of "filling your own cup" to challenging the crisis-based "put your oxygen mask on first" mentality, this episode offers a fresh perspective on maternal self-care through the powerful metaphor of being like a tree - unapologetically taking in nourishment to better serve your entire ecosystem.Key PointsWhy the "fill your own cup" metaphor is too restrictive and prescriptive for mothers who need unlimited nourishmentThe problems with the oxygen mask analogy and why it assumes we're living in constant crisis modeHow maternal biology and protective instincts clash with rational self-care adviceUnderstanding the difference between actual emergencies and perceived crises in daily motherhoodWhy we need to get out of survival mode to access the discernment needed for true self-careThe importance of tending to our nervous systems to stop living in constant activated statesThe Tree Metaphor: A Better Way ForwardHow trees unapologetically take in everything they need - sunlight, water, nutrients - without guilt or limitationUnderstanding that a thriving tree naturally creates oxygen, shelter, and nourishment for its entire ecosystemRejecting the zero-sum game mentality that pits your wellbeing against your family'sRecognizing that your health becomes your community's health when you're truly nourishedEmbracing the interconnected web of life where receiving and giving flow naturallyGetting to Know Your Inner SelvesWhy we need to understand the parts of ourselves that live in survival statesThe four dominant parts: inner anxiety, the over-planner/perfectionist, inner shame/critic, and the shut-down negative partHow these survival-mode selves drive our decisions and keep us stuck in patterns of self-neglectThe process of learning to mother these inner parts with curious, kind, and loving attentionMoving Beyond Survival ModeHow to distinguish between actual crises and everyday challenges that feel overwhelmingThe importance of slowing down to see how survival patterns keep us ignoring our needsWhy we need conscious pauses to begin rewiring automatic responsesCreating space away from triggering circumstances to unwind and calm the nervous systemIntegration PracticesTaking the quiz at https://theschoolofmom.com/quiz to identify your dominant inner partsConsidering retreat experiences for deeper nervous system regulation workPracticing the tree mindset: receiving nourishment without guilt while naturally giving to othersQuestioning why self-care advice isn't working and looking at root causes rather than symptomsQuotes "Fuck filling your own cup. You're not an inert plastic object. Put away the cup and think of yourself more like a tree instead.""If I was up in a plane that was going down, I would not put my own oxygen mask on first. I wouldn't.""We need to be the cyclical beings of nature that we are as women."Resources MentionedQuiz to identify inner parts: https://theschoolofmom.com/quiz Nourish retreats: https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish Simone Grace Seol's email inspiration: https://blog.simonegraceseol.com/inspiration-category/ What's Coming Next Challenge yourself to question the self-care advice that isn't working for you and explore what it means to be like a tree - taking in unlimited nourishment so you can naturally give back to your entire ecosystem without depletion or resentment.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

 In this episode, I talk about why the line self-care is selfish fires me up and why NOT taking care of yourself is what’s actually selfish. I talk about why women need space to process through our natural cycles, and how the fruits of consistent self-mothering work create profound shifts in our capacity for presence and joy.Key PointsWhy healing and somatic work takes time to integrate - our bodies are nature and change happens in seasons, not overnightThe difference between male and female hormonal cycles and why women need longer to process and integrate changeHow years of "pulling weeds" and tending to our inner soil eventually creates beautiful blooms of presence and capacityWhy the common thread in joyful summer moments was nature and time away from childrenThe importance of being intentional about what we pay attention to through all our sensesWhy community accountability is essential - we're not meant to figure this out aloneThe Integration JourneyUnderstanding that a male hormonal cycle is 24 hours while a female cycle is 28 days - we have only 12 cycles per yearHow the garden analogy applies: we plant seeds, tend the soil of our nervous system, and eventually see growthWhy expecting instant results goes against our cyclical nature as womenThe difference between having great moments with our kids and needing intentional time away from themMothering Ourselves First: The 10-Day ResetWhy putting ourselves at the top of our priority list benefits everyoneHow 10 minutes a day can create an upward spiral of positive choicesThree reasons why this timing is perfect: fresh start energy of fall, disrupted summer routines, and current world heavinessThe power of community support in maintaining consistent self-care practicesNervous System and Current EventsHow traumatic news can put us into freeze/shutdown mode after prolonged anxietyWhy we can't help anyone - including our children - when we're in survival modeThe conscious practices needed to drop our shoulders, release our jaw, and exhale deeplyUnderstanding that self-care is actually the opposite of selfishQuotes"Not taking care of yourself is what's selfish.""A male hormonal cycle is 24 hours. A female hormonal cycle is 28-ish days, and we have 12 of them in a year.""The seeds that I planted many years ago... didn't grow overnight. I had to plant them and really tend to the soil and nurture them and take care of them, and now they're growing.""If you really want to be an instrument of change, a compassionate presence for those that you love and those that you wanna help, then you must take care of yourself."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves First 10-Day Reset: https://theschoolofmom.com/reset School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/ Poem by Emory Hall (referenced but not quoted in full)Trevor Hall concert experienceWhat's Coming NextJoin the 10-day reset to experience how community accountability and just 10 minutes a day of intentional self-mothering can interrupt negative patterns and create an upward spiral of wellbeing - because taking care of yourself is the most unselfish thing you can do.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we tackle one of the most misunderstood experiences for mothers: struggling to feel grateful when you think you "should." If you've ever battled shame because you can't access gratitude for your kids, your partner, or your life circumstances, this episode will completely shift your perspective. We explore why gratitude isn't a moral failing when it's absent - it's actually a nervous system indicator that you need support and care.Key PointsWhy gratitude requires a specific nervous system state (ventral vagal) to flow naturallyThe difference between forced gratitude and genuine appreciation that comes from regulationHow "should" thoughts around gratitude indicate judgment and disconnection from your bodyWhy struggling to feel grateful has nothing to do with your character or worthiness as a motherThe biology behind why some emotions (including gratitude) aren't accessible on commandUnderstanding gratitude as a natural byproduct of feeling safe and regulated, not a discipline to masterThe Gratitude TrapHow mothers often shame themselves for not feeling grateful despite wanting their children or having "good" livesWhy comparing your struggles to others ("I should be grateful because my friend is divorced") blocks authentic feelingThe judgment cycle: not feeling grateful → self-criticism → further disconnection from gratitudeRecognizing when gratitude practices become another item on your "good mother" checklist rather than genuine connectionAlternative Pathways to AppreciationUsing "appreciation" as a more accessible entry point when gratitude feels forcedThe "what do I have right now that I want" practice for difficult momentsHow regulation and nervous system support naturally lead to gratitude without effortThe difference between gratitude that comes from loss/recovery versus gratitude from a regulated stateReal-Life IntegrationSeeing inability to access gratitude as an "awareness bell" that you need support, not judgmentMoving from survival states that block gratitude to regulated states that allow it to flowHow dedicated self-care and nervous system tending naturally increase grateful momentsThe experience of spontaneous gratitude is a sign that your inner work is creating lasting changeNervous System ConnectionUnderstanding why overstressed, overstimulated states don't support grateful feelingsThe importance of "off-ramps" from dysregulation before expecting positive emotionsHow retreats and extended self-care practices strengthen your "gratitude muscle tone"Why forcing gratitude when dysregulated can increase shame and disconnectionQuick Reframe PracticesWhen gratitude feels inaccessible, ask: "What support does my nervous system need right now?"Replace "I should be grateful" with "I'm human and my feelings make sense"Notice what you appreciate rather than forcing what you're grateful forUse gratitude resistance as information about your current regulation stateQuotes "If you are struggling to feel grateful and you don't feel grateful in a moment in time, there's nothing wrong with you" "Not feeling grateful has nothing to do with your character... and everything to do with what's happening in your biology right now" "When you feel resistant or when gratitude isn't accessible, that is your little awareness bell that you need some support"Resources MentionedNOURISH retreat - extended nervous system support and regulation practice: https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish Movement and grounding practices as on-ramps to regulation: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/posts/flourish-dr-lydiana-garcia-self-regulation-strategies-for-momsNervous system tending and mindful self-mothering work: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/posts/flourish-%F0%9F%8C%BF-tending-to-your-soil-roots-weeds-nervous-system-mother-wound-attachment and https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/posts/flourish-%F0%9F%92%90-the-flourished-mother-%F0%9F%92%90 What's Coming Next Continue exploring how to recognize your body's signals and respond with support rather than judgment, creating the conditions where positive emotions like gratitude can naturally emerge.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this timely episode, we explore that restless, activated energy so many of us feel during the transition from summer to fall - that "summer pause" between camp ending and school starting. If you've been feeling buzzy, anxious, or ready to "bust it" as routines dissolve into endless snacks and unwanted lemonades, this episode validates exactly where you are and offers a powerful solution: a 10-day community reset focused on mothering ourselves first.Key PointsWhy the end of summer leaves so many mothers feeling depleted and activated rather than refreshedThe connection between cyclical living and seasonal transitions - how late summer mirrors the luteal phase energyUnderstanding why your body temperature and energy naturally rise during this time, creating that "ready to explode" feelingHow lack of routine affects our nervous system and why structure actually supports our self-care practicesThe difference between anxiety-driven "productivity" and truly nourishing self-care practicesWhy 10 minutes a day of intentional practice can create profound shifts in how we mother ourselvesThe Cyclical Living ConnectionHow the four stages of the menstrual cycle mirror the four seasons, with late summer correlating to the luteal phaseWhy the luteal stage has two parts: the energizing "buzzy" beginning and the building heat that needs releaseUnderstanding this natural temperature rise in your body and energy as normal, not something to fixHow this seasonal/cyclical awareness helps us anticipate and work with our natural rhythms rather than against themThe 10-Day Reset: Mothering Ourselves FirstWhat it means to prioritize 10 minutes daily for practices that truly nourish rather than just organize or accomplishExamples of nourishing practices: phone-free walks, yoga nidra, therapy ball rolling, meditation, gentle movementHow community accountability makes us more likely to maintain consistent self-care practicesThe difference between "begin" and "begin again" moments - both are equally valid starting pointsIntegration PracticesIdentifying what truly nourishes you versus what your inner planner or anxiety wants you to doCreating intentional practices that connect you to joy, pleasure, ease, and restUsing seasonal transitions as natural reset points for establishing or returning to supportive routinesBuilding structure that supports rather than restricts your self-careQuotes "It's not make time for yourself and go organize a drawer, right? It's not letting your inner planner or your anxiety drive the bus.""This is why I am announcing right now that we are going to do collectively in our community a 10 day reset. It's called mothering ourselves first."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves First 10-Day Reset: https://www.theschoolofmom.com/resetSchool of Mom community for ongoing support: https://theschoolofmom.com/Yoga therapy balls as a favorite nourishing toolWhat's Coming Next Join the community reset starting September 14th and discover how 10 minutes a day of intentional self-mothering can transform your relationship with routine, self-care, and the natural rhythms of your body and the seasons.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we're shifting the conversation away from the typical "mental load" discussion to what's really happening beneath the surface. If you've been feeling overwhelmed by all the things you're managing and thinking that better systems or planners will solve it, this episode will change how you understand what you're actually carrying.Key PointsWhy the term "mental load" is actually inaccurate - it's really a "brain body load" that encompasses mental, physical, and emotional componentsThe difference between cognitive/managerial tasks (which research shows have positive associations) and emotional load (which is toxic and weighs us down)How every simple task carries an emotional component that creates the real heaviness you feelUnderstanding that you don't have a mental load problem - you have an emotional load problemThe visual metaphor of carrying too much physically and why your body will eventually give outWhy planners, systems, and delegation won't solve the deeper issue if you're carrying unprocessed emotionsHow emotional load impacts everything from your capacity for joy to your desire for intimacyThe importance of making the invisible emotional programming visible and doing the inner workQuotes "You don't have a mental load problem. You have an emotional load problem.""There's no such thing as just mental. Mental is emotional, is physical. There's no separation.""What seems like a small mental, cognitive managerial task often can carry a huge emotional load.""The more we call it the mental load, the less we actually understand it, and that means the less access we have to helping ourselves relieve this load."Resources Mentioned"Why Smart, Self-Aware Moms Stay Stuck" PDF: https://theschoolofmom.com/smart The School of Mom integration community: https://theschoolofmom.com/ Radical Flourishing intimate program: https://cal.com/theschoolofmom/breakthrough-call Nourish retreat (October 17th in Vermont): https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish Upcoming podcast episode with sex therapist Rebecca Uti about "Parents and Love"What's Coming Next Continue exploring how to do the deeper nervous system and emotional work needed to truly lighten your brain body load and access more joy, presence, and ease in your daily life.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we dive into one of the most misunderstood emotions mothers experience: anger. If you've ever felt guilty about your rage, tried to suppress your irritation, or wondered why you sometimes feel like screaming, this episode will completely reframe how you see and work with your anger. Drawing from the viral "Primal Mom Scream" experience, we explore why anger isn't something to fix or hide - it's actually one of your greatest sources of wisdom and guidance.Key PointsThe biology behind the famous "Primal Mom Scream" and why it went viral globally during COVIDHow screaming and expressing anger creates natural nervous system regulation through sympathetic charge and releaseWhy the 90-second rule of emotions means we can move through anger when we don't block itThe community aspect of anger expression - how co-regulation makes it safe to feel what we've repressedUnderstanding anger as information and guidance rather than something "bad" or unacceptableHow blocked anger shows up in your body through illness, digestive issues, and sleep disruptionThe difference between helpful inner voices (anger) and unhelpful ones (anxiety, critic, shame)Why anger is an arrow pointing toward where boundaries or change are needed in your lifeThe Gift of AngerAll emotions carry information, but anger specifically signals where boundaries are neededWhen you feel chronically angry about bedtime routines, morning responsibilities, or relationship dynamics - pay attentionThis unsettledness in your body is pointing to gold in terms of what you need to advocate forLearning to discern which inner voices to listen to versus outdated programming to releaseCyclical Living ConnectionHow the luteal phase (pre-menstrual time) naturally heightens irritation and angerWhy this isn't PMS to dismiss - it's laser clarity on what needs to changeUsing your cycle's wisdom: luteal phase for identifying what's not working, other phases for taking actionThe "irritated squirrel" phase as a signal to tune into what your anger is telling youFor non-cycling bodies: using moon phases or seasons (summer as the equivalent building energy)Quick Integration PracticesWhen you feel angry, pause and ask: "What information do you have for me?"Instead of suppressing the scream, find safe ways to express it (pillow, car, nature)Notice patterns in what consistently triggers your anger - these are your boundary signalsPractice seeing anger as wise guidance rather than something to fix or hideQuotes "The body will body" - your natural impulse to scream or express anger is healthy and normal "Anger is an arrow to point towards where in your life or relationships change or boundary is needed" "We don't use our emotions, we don't tune into our body and see it as the gold and the insight and the wisdom that it is"Resources MentionedNourish retreat - a space to process emotions in community safety: https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish Radical Flourishing program for more intimate group support: https://cal.com/theschoolofmom/breakthrough-call Previous episodes on nervous system understanding and inner voice workWhat's Coming Next: Continue exploring how to work with your body's wisdom and create the changes your anger is pointing toward, rather than staying stuck in cycles of suppression and shame.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we explore one of the most transformative questions you can ask yourself as a mother: What if that critical inner voice isn't telling you the truth? If you've ever wished for an "off switch" to your brain or felt trapped by anxiety, self-doubt, and that nagging voice saying you're not doing enough, this episode offers a completely different perspective on how to work with your inner critic.Key PointsWhy there's no "off switch" to your thoughts (and why that's actually okay)Understanding that your inner critic isn't YOU - it's a protective part that's been programmed by past experiencesThe difference between your inner truth and your inner protectorHow nervous system states create the lens through which we see everything in our livesWhy that voice feels so true in the moment but is wrong 99% of the timeThe negativity bias and how our biology is wired to focus on threats and problemsPractical steps for questioning and redirecting your inner criticWhy affirmations don't work when your nervous system isn't alignedThe importance of practicing new feeling states, not just new thoughtsQuotes "What if the voice inside your head is wrong? What if it's not that you need to turn it off, it's that you need to question it.""That inner voice is not your inner truth, it's your inner protector.""Whatever you're practicing, you're getting good at."Practice Invitation When you notice familiar patterns of anxiety, shame, or self-doubt, pause and ask: "Who's talking right now? What part of me is this? What do they need?" This simple practice brings your mindful awareness online and shifts you into a more grounded nervous system state.Meta-Phrase Practice Place a hand on your heart and say: "May I choose to feel and see things differently? May I practice new thoughts and new feelings that are here for my thriving?"Resources MentionedThe School of Mom community and 80-90% program retention rates: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist Upcoming Nourish retreat for deeper nervous system work: https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish Free resource at Why Smart Moms Still Feel Stuck—And What Actually Helps : https://theschoolofmom.com/smart What's Coming Next Continue exploring how to tend to the different parts of yourself with compassion while building capacity for new ways of thinking and being that support your thriving rather than just your surviving.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we explore the paradox that many intelligent, self-aware mothers face: knowing what they should do but struggling to consistently implement it. If you're a mom who has read the books, listened to countless podcasts, and maybe even been to therapy, yet still find yourself stuck in old patterns, this episode will shed light on why this happens and what actually creates lasting change.Key PointsThe five core reasons why smart, self-aware moms stay stuck despite having knowledge and insightWhy trying to "think your way out" of body-based problems keeps you in cycles of frustrationThe difference between insight and integration - and why knowledge alone doesn't create changeHow mental load overwhelm shrinks your capacity for growth and keeps your nervous system in survival modeThe role of your inner critic in drowning out your inner wisdom and compassionate selfWhy healing and change aren't meant to be solo endeavors - the critical importance of communityHow your nervous system runs the show when it perceives threat or unfamiliaritySimple, accessible practices that work with your body's capacity rather than against itWhat Actually HelpsNervous system work that meets you where you are, starting with education about how your body worksShort, doable practices (even 1-2 minutes count) rather than overwhelming commitmentsCommunity support that doesn't require you to "earn" rest or prove your worthUnderstanding that your presence is your worth - not your productivity or outputQuick Integration PracticesPlace a hand on your heart and say "of course" when you notice you're triggeredChoose one practice you already know and commit to it for 3-5 days, even imperfectlyEat one meal without touching your phone to practice single-taskingGreet your inner critic by name and thank her for trying to keep you safeAssess your community - are you surrounded by people doing the work or just talking about it?Quotes"You don't need to try harder. You don't need a new planner... You just maybe need to turn, like orient yourself to a pathway that looks a little bit different.""Your nervous system is running the show of our lives. When there is a lack of safety in your body... your logical brain is gonna take a back seat.""Knowing about how trauma lives in your body... is not the same as rewiring it. Just knowing about something doesn't mean it's gonna change the thing.""Healing is not meant to be a solo endeavor... we develop these adaptations through relationship."Resources MentionedThe School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist "10 for 10" dedicated practice challenge: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/spaces/14670762/feed Fall retreat in Vermont (October 17-19, 2025): https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish Previous episode on mental loadFree resource recap accompanying this episodeWhat's Coming NextContinue exploring body-based approaches to lasting change and the importance of nervous system work in creating the life you want as a mother.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we dive deep into why there's no magical planner that will solve the mental load you're carrying as a mother. If you've ever found yourself chasing the "perfect" planning system (like me), thinking it will finally crack the code on managing it all, this episode is for you. We explore the real reasons behind mental load overwhelm and why the solution isn't found in better organization - it's found in understanding what's happening beneath the surface.Key PointsThe three types of mental load: managerial (planning, organizing), cognitive (anticipating, decision-making), and emotional (worry, concern, tending to emotional needs)Why cognitive and managerial load actually have positive associations with family satisfaction and empowermentHow emotional load creates the most negative impact and leads to exhaustionThe trap of believing better planning will solve deeper issues around worthiness and productivityUnderstanding your capacity limits - you're not a machine that can just "upgrade" to handle moreHow childhood models and cultural messages program us to equate productivity with worthThe nervous system's role in driving perfectionism and hyper-vigilance around doingWhy awareness of your programming is the first step toward changeLearning to recognize when you're operating from "should" versus authentic choiceQuotes"There is no planner that is going to ultimately alleviate a relationship to doing and achieving that exists for so many of us.""You can only juggle so many balls... there's only so long you can hold that stuff up.""You are actually worthy as you are. Subtract all the doing. You are worthy as you are.""My productivity is a badge of honor. Proves that I'm good... because my output and how much I can hold is connected to the praise that I get."Resources MentionedKelly McGonigal's research on stress mindset: https://www.dailygood.org/story/3107/how-to-make-stress-your-friend-kelly-mcgonigal/ Upcoming Nourish retreat for deeper nervous system work: https://theschoolofmom.com/nourishMental Load Research study: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37359080/ Quiz: http://www.theschoolofmom.com/quiz Waitlist for The School of MOM: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist What's Coming NextContinue exploring how to break free from productivity loops and develop a healthier relationship with rest, boundaries, and your inherent worth beyond what you accomplish.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we dive into why the self-care routines you've been trying aren't actually making you feel better - and what you need to focus on instead. Walking through a new park (a perfect metaphor for the healing work we're discussing), we explore how our unconscious programming drives 90-95% of our lives and why surface-level self-care solutions are just Band-Aids on deeper wounds that need attention.Key PointsUnderstanding that 90-95% of our lives are driven by unconscious programming from nature and nurtureWhy traditional self-care (manicures, spa days, walks) often leaves us feeling more triggered than rejuvenatedThe difference between "self-care" and "selves-care" - tending to the inner parts that are actually driving our stressHow focusing only on the "doing" of self-care misses the emotional and nervous system work that's neededWhy you might scroll your phone during a massage or ruminate during a walk, sabotaging your own self-careThe reality that parts of us stuck in survival mode will continue operating until they feel safeHow to identify which inner "selves" are present during your self-care attemptsWhy asking these inner parts what they actually need (usually not a "doing" thing) is transformational workThe importance of witnessing anxiety, reflecting worth back to shame, and working with specific body experiencesHow some bodies need rest when we're pushing them toward high-intensity movementQuotes "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate." - Carl Jung"You could be on the massage table judging yourself for being on the massage table... and thus, the action that is self-care is not working for you.""Self-care isn't working if you're just focusing on the doing and the part of you that is online while you're doing it is rooted in some sort of stress state or survival state in your nervous system.""When you turn into your anxiety, like actually maybe what it needs is to be witnessed. When you turn into your shame, maybe what it needs is to have it reflected back to it, how incredible and worthy it is."Resources MentionedThe Radical Mom Pause Toolkit: http://www.theschoolofmom.com/pause The School of Mom community (currently on waitlist enrollment): https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist In-person retreat opportunities (check bio for summer 2025): https://theschoolofmom.com/nourish What's Coming Next Continue exploring the deeper transformational work of rewiring our unconscious programming and learning to meet ourselves with radical compassion and acceptance in the pause.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we address one of the most important conversations every mother needs to have head on: teaching our daughters (and learning ourselves) the correct anatomical terms for female body parts. Joined by pelvic floor therapist Dr. Alexandra Digrado, we explore why knowing that it’s actually your "vulva" instead of "vagina" matters more than you might think - for safety, health, and reclaiming our bodies without shame.Key PointsUnderstanding the difference between vulva (external) and vagina (internal) - and why this distinction mattersHow using incorrect anatomical terms can impact child safety and abuse preventionThe shocking reality that many women don't learn proper anatomy until adulthoodWhy the medical field has historically overlooked pelvic health educationHow shame around female anatomy affects everything from periods to sexual healthThe importance of teaching children accurate body part names from an early ageNavigating pushback when advocating for proper anatomical educationBreaking generational cycles of shame and misinformation about women's bodiesUnderstanding that the clitoris exists solely for pleasure - making joy our birthrightPractical tips for age-appropriate conversations with young childrenQuotes"The vulva is what you can see on the outside... when we're like, no one can touch your vagina at school, essentially what we’re saying is, the girls can’t be fingered at school.”"When kids know what their anatomical parts are called, then they can accurately describe what we hope never happens to them.""We have one part of our body that has one sole purpose, and that is pleasure... pleasure is our birthright.""It's just like your elbow. It's just a part that society has deemed to have a lot more meaning behind it."Resources MentionedInformation about lichen sclerosus resources, LS Support Network Homepage: https://lssupportnetwork.org/ Bodies are Cool book: Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/Bodies-Are-Cool-Tyler-Feder/dp/0593112628 Pussy: A Reclamation: Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/Pussy-Reclamation-Regena-Thomashauer/dp/1401950248 Come as You Are:  Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1982165316 Dr. Alexandra Digrado's Practice Boston Pelvic Physical Therapy: https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1982165316What's Coming NextContinue the conversation about empowering our daughters with body knowledge and breaking cycles of shame around female anatomy and sexuality.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I talk about an unknown truth every mother needs to hear: you are not the problem, your programming is. Discover why your struggles with anxiety, shame, and triggered reactions aren't your fault, and learn how the Radical MOM Pause can help you rewire unconscious patterns that have been running your life.Key PointsUnderstanding that you are worthy just as you are - your presence is your worthRecognizing that anxiety, shame, and triggered reactions are not character flaws but programmingHow 90-95% of our existence is driven by unconscious programming living in our nervous systemThe difference between fault (not yours) and responsibility (yours to rewire)Why pausing feels "unsexy" but is everything when it comes to creating changeHow we cannot change what we're not aware of - awareness must come firstThe challenge of swimming upstream from a society that celebrates visible doing over conscious beingWhy community support is essential for sustaining this radical practiceHow longer dedicated practice (like retreats) provides deeper rewiring opportunitiesQuotes "You are not your fault. You are not the problem. It is your programming that is the problem.""Your programming runs so deep in your nervous system, in your lineage, in the conditioning of our society and our culture.""We cannot change what we're not aware of.""It's so unsexy to talk about pausing. Our nervous systems are like, hell no. I don't wanna go into a moment of stillness.""Every single mom Pause you take is radical. 30 seconds radical, so important."Resources MentionedThe Radical Mom Pause Toolkit: Available at https://theschoolofmom.com/pause Live call on Thursday, July 10th at 12:00 PM Eastern Standard Time: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/events/monthly-musings-71190188 Upcoming Nourish Retreat (Friday night to Sunday format): https://checkout.theschoolofmom.com/nourish-retreat What's Coming Next Continue exploring the Radical Mom Pause practice and discover more tools for rewiring unconscious programming and creating conscious, intentional mothering patterns.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

This episode explores the neuroscience behind rewiring deeply ingrained patterns and how the pause serves as a foundation for creating lasting change. We dive into practical strategies for breaking free from autopilot reactions and consciously choosing new responses.Key Topics CoveredUnderstanding Neural PathwaysHow repeated patterns create well-traveled mental "trails"Why changing established programming feels challengingThe difference between surviving and thriving patternsThe Power of the PauseMoving from unconscious reactions to conscious responsesActivating your prefrontal cortex and executive functioningCreating space between stimulus and responseThe Rewiring ProcessCatching yourself in reactive patternsTuning into your nervous system statesMeeting your inner needs with compassionFinding your personal "oil and garlic" regulation toolsBeyond In-the-Moment ChangesWhy focusing only on thoughts is like blocking a fire hoseThe importance of addressing nervous system programmingHow 90-95% of our experience stems from unconscious patternsMeet the Flourished MotherEmbodying the ventral vagal safety stateLearning healthy dysregulation and recoveryMoving from camping out in stress to returning to safetyThe Time FactorHow different nervous system states affect our relationship with timeThoughts from stress vs. grounded statesReframing time scarcity into time abundanceKey Insights"We can't change anything we're not aware of. Pausing is like pulling off onto the scenic outlook and looking at the road that you're on.""The space between stimulus and response is where your freedom and your choice lives.""Making time for myself models a new way of being for my kids."Practical TakeawaysUse the pause to step out of autopilot reactionsFocus on nervous system regulation rather than just changing thoughtsPractice accessing safety states proactively, not just reactivelyConsider longer pauses for deeper transformation workResources MentionedAwakening the Flourished Mother Meditation: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/aea1663a-d5e5-4725-b907-3b849696eff8/ Nourish Retreat: https://checkout.theschoolofmom.com/nourish-retreat/ Radical Flourishing program: https://cal.com/theschoolofmom/breakthrough-call Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, we delve into the practical aspects of meeting your needs in the moment after taking that crucial, radical pause as a mom. This isn't about instant perfection—it's about understanding that learning to care for ourselves is a lifelong practice, just like learning to care for our children.Key Topics Covered:Why meeting your needs is a practice, not perfectionUnderstanding your nervous system states (safety, stress, and shutdown)The three camps: grounded safety state, sympathetic (stress) state, and dorsal (shutdown) stateHow to identify which state you're in and what your body is telling youPractical tools for meeting yourself where you're atThe importance of moving through states rather than jumping directly to calmTools & Resources Mentioned:The Radical MOM Pause Toolkit: https://theschoolofmom.com/pause School of Mom Quiz: Discovering Your Dominant Inner Voice: http://www.theschoolofmom.com/quiz Marc Brackett's Mood Meter: https://marcbrackett.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Mood_Meter_Marc_Brackett_Permission-to-Feel.pdf Yoga tune-up ballsThe "oil and garlic" concept for go-to regulation practicesKey Takeaway: You need to meet your inner self where it's at first, matching the energy of your current state before gently guiding yourself toward regulation. This might mean movement and dancing for anxious energy, or gentle movement to lift yourself out of shutdown.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this foundational episode, we explore the transformative practice at the heart of conscious mothering: the Radical Mom Pause. Learn why simply bringing awareness to the present moment is a radical act in our unconscious world, and discover the MOM framework for meeting yourself with curiosity, observing what's present, and mothering your needs in real time.Key PointsThe radical nature of consciousness in an unconscious world - why pausing and bringing awareness is inherently transformativeUnderstanding the MOM framework: Meeting yourself in the moment, Observing what's present, and Mothering your needsHow movement serves as a bridge from unconscious to conscious awarenessThe practice of meeting your full experience - both internal and external - with curiosity rather than judgmentObserving with acceptance, kindness, and discernment while watching for unhelpful patterns and storiesRecognizing different "selves" or parts (like anxiety) and learning to meet them with compassionHow the act of witnessing yourself IS mothering - fulfilling the human need to be seen and acceptedTuning into basic needs that aren't really basic for mothers: hunger, thirst, rest, movement, bathroom breaksLearning the unique language of your body through practice and curiosityHow this practice creates lineage healing and cycle-breaking in real timeQuotes"Simply being here is in and of itself radical. You are becoming conscious in a world and a existence that is on the whole very unconscious and subconscious.""So many of us are living on autopilot. We are being very mindless moving through our days and our lives, and our mothering and our relationships.""Movement is a wonderful bridge from our unconscious to the conscious.""Just like our kids, our bodies, our humanness is desperate for attention. Not just desperate for attention, it's desperate for kind and curious presence.""We cannot change what we are not aware of and to become aware of something we have to pause and notice and practice mothering ourselves.""This is lineage cycle breaking and creating in real time."Resources MentionedThe Radical MOM Pause guided practice: https://theschoolofmom.com/pauseUpcoming class in The Radical Mom Pause Toolkit series focusing on nervous system tools: https://theschoolofmom.com/pauseThe School of MOM Quiz: www.theschoolofmom.com/quiz Marc Brackett's Mood Meter: https://marcbrackett.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Mood_Meter_Marc_Brackett_Permission-to-Feel.pdfWhat's Coming NextThe next episode in this Radical Mom Pause toolkit series will explore tools for meeting yourself in the moment and tending to your nervous system, building on this foundational practice of conscious awareness and self-mothering.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this week’s episode, I dive deep into the #1 practice that changes everything: the art of pausing. Discover why mindfulness isn't just about meditation cushions, but about radical interruption of our unconscious programming that drives 90-95% of our daily experience.Key PointsUnderstanding mindfulness as present moment awareness with curiosity, discernment, acceptance, and compassionWhy slowing down or being still is essential for true mindfulness - you can't see clearly while moving through life on autopilotThe shocking reality that 90-95% of our experience is driven by subconscious programming that often doesn't serve usHow our nervous system carries outdated conditioning from lineage, society, and culture that we wouldn't consciously choose todayThe MOM ritual: Meeting yourself in the moment, Observing what's present, and Mothering your needsWhy pausing feels like redirecting a Mac truck going 85mph - and why that makes it radicalHow accessing your prefrontal cortex through pausing gives you response flexibility instead of unconscious reactionsThe revolutionary act of swimming upstream against a world driven by anxiety, fear, scarcity, and dysregulationQuotes"Mindfulness is present moment awareness with curiosity, discernment, acceptance, and kindness and compassion.""90 to 95% of our existence in this world is in our rooted deep programming... So many of us have programming that is really not serving us.""There's a space between stimulus and response, and in that space is where your freedom lies. That is the pause.""We cannot change what we are not aware of. We have to bring attention first to the thing.""It doesn't matter how many books you read and podcasts you listen to, if you are still moving through the motions unconsciously and mindlessly going through your life, nothing is going to change."Resources MentionedThe Radical Mom Pause Toolkit - available at https://theschoolofmom.com/pause Upcoming live call for toolkit participants (July 10th at 12 pm EDT 2025)What's Coming NextThis episode kicks off a special miniseries covering:The guided Radical Mom Pause practiceMeeting your needs in the pauseRewiring your programming for lasting changeThank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this heartfelt episode recorded from the woods, we explore the complex nature of suffering, the danger of comparison, and what it truly means to flourish. Following an emotionally intense week that included a tragic loss and hosting a powerful retreat, we dive deep into the transformative work of becoming "unicorns" - the grounded, compassionate women we wish to see in the world.Key PointsWhy we can't be in the business of comparing suffering and how all emotional experiences are validThe profound connection between personal loss and recommitment to self-awareness workHow hosting a retreat while grieving revealed the perfect timing of life's challengesRedefining flourishing: being weepy and riding emotional waves with grace IS flourishingThe concept of becoming "unicorns" - radically different, grounded, compassionate women The power of beginner's mind and how we receive teachings differently as we evolveWhy repetition is essential for rewiring our programming and laying down new neural pathwaysBreaking free from scarcity-based decision making to live from abundance and hopeQuotes "We can't be in the business of comparing suffering. Your heart is valid and your heart is hard 'cause it is.""There's nothing more important than attending to ourselves and becoming more self-aware and learning how to heal our nervous systems.""Being weepy is flourishing for me. Riding these waves of my experience with more ease and grace... Flourishing is riding the full spectrum of my human experience with more grace and ease and rest and pleasure and love.""We are becoming the unicorns... we are becoming the grounded, compassionate, loving their body, women and models that don't really exist around us."Resources MentionedRadical Flourishing program: https://cal.com/theschoolofmom/breakthrough-callUpcoming Nourish retreat at Sky Meadow retreat center in Vermont (limited spaces available): https://checkout.theschoolofmom.com/nourish-retreat/The School of Mom community and programs: https://theschoolofmom.com/Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call