Mothering Ourselves Mindfully

In today’s episode, I'm calling out one of the most repeated lines in coaching and personal development, and offering you something that's actually true instead. Spoiler: you have more control than you think - it's just not where you've been told to look for it.Key PointsWhy somatic work moves the needle in ways talk therapy can't — I spent years as a therapist talking through problems with women. Insight is valuable — but it's limited. When I discovered what was possible through body-based work, it changed everything. 90–95% of our experience is driven by unconscious programming living in our nervous system, and you simply can't talk your way out of that.What actually happens in a somatic session — Whether a client is brand new to this work or has been doing it for years, the experience is consistently the same: I can't believe what just came through. The body holds wisdom, intuition, and real-time healing that the mind can't access alone.Calling out the line everyone repeats — "The only thing you can control is your reaction." It's everywhere in coaching culture. And it's not quite true. If your unconscious nervous system is running the show — and for most of us, it is — you don't actually have control over your reactions in the moment. Telling yourself you should is just adding shame to the pile.The truth about control — You have very limited control over your in-the-moment reaction, especially when you're tired, triggered, or dysregulated. But you do have real, meaningful control over something: the support you choose, the practices you commit to, and the nervous system work you do in advance of those moments. That's the real lever.What the Flourished Mother actually looks like — She's not always calm. She's not always grounded. She feels the full spectrum of her humanness — including the anger — but she has the capacity to be with it. With presence, with grace, with compassion. And that capacity is built over time, through practice and support.Quotes"90 to 95% of our experience — the lens through which we see the world — is coming from our unconscious, which lives in our body.""You will be surprised. I am surprised every time — I didn't think anything was gonna come through. And wow, I am so grateful I did that.""You actually don't really have control over your reaction in the moment. But you do have control over the support that you decide to get.""What you do have control over is the reprogramming and the tending and the grounding you did to be in a body that supports you to react in the way that you want to.""Talking around in circles about the thing you wanna do is not going to help you change it in the moment."Resources MentionedFlourished Mother Map — A personalized session with Sarah to map your patterns and path forward: theschoolofmom.com/mapFlourish Community — Monthly membership for ongoing nervous system support and integration: http://theschoolofmom.com/flourishOne-on-one somatic sessions with Sarah — Reach out directly to book: http://theschoolofmom.com/private-coachingSend Sarah a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextIf this episode stirred something in you, the next step is simple: choose the support. Whether that's a Flourished Mother Map, a one-on-one session, or joining the Flourish community — the work you do before the moment is what changes the moment.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

What's the point? It's a question that can feel heavy — or become one of the most grounding, clarifying inquiries of your life. In this episode, I'm zooming way out on the School of MOM exists, the personal through-lines that have shaped this work, and what I truly hope for every mother who walks with me here. If you've ever found yourself swirling in the "why" of it all — around mothering, your life, your work — this one's for you.Key PointsHow to ask "what's the point?" from a place of curiosity rather than shutdown — and why the difference matters (nervous system style)The two personal through-lines behind the founding of the School of MOM: not becoming her, and becoming the mother to yourself that you never hadWhy Sarah is estranged from her mother — and how that painful, personal reality became the heart of this workThe "Apples" community: women who carry the weight of estranged or dysfunctional mother relationships, and why they don't need to explain themselvesWhy the goal isn't to learn more — it's integration: closing the gap between what you know and what you actually live in your bodyThe two roots of integration: embodied application of what you're learning, and wholeness — welcoming and tending to all parts of yourselfFlourish State Journaling: a powerful (and a little creepy-magical) practice for inhabiting your flourishing life as if it's already hereWhy community is the secret ingredient that makes integration sustainableA real-time moment from right before recording: what it looked like to actually be the Flourished Mother for her daughter — and why that's the whole pointQuotes"What's the point? Not from the lens of 'what's the point' — that's very dorsal vagal, very shutdown. But what is the point?""The next best person to fill the hole that's left when your mom can't fill the bucket is you.""Mothering Ourselves Mindfully was really about me becoming the mother to myself that I always needed and I never had.""I don't want my 30-something-year-old daughter attending a workshop on how and why she needs to make more time for herself.""Integration means closing the gap between what you know and what you feel and you're doing in your life.""This is it. This is what I've been working for — being that sturdy, compassionate, patient, loving human for her."Resources MentionedFlourished Mother Map — a personalized zoom-out experience with reflection questions and a custom video from Sarah. All Sarah, no AI: https://theschoolofmom.com/mapDiscover Your Dominant Inner Voice Quiz — discover your dominant inner voice (anxiety, shame, negativity, or perfectionist): https://theschoolofmom.com/quizFLOURISH Community — where Flourish State Journaling and other integration practices live, including live co-working calls on the community calendar: http://theschoolofmom.com/flourishWhat's Coming NextKeep asking the question. Whether it feels clarifying or a little jarring — that's the work. Come share how this episode lands for you, grab a Flourished Mother Map, and keep walking toward the most flourished version of yourself.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

I'm recording this one on a windy day, and it feels fitting because this episode is unfiltered. I've been sitting with a growing frustration around a word that I've used a lot in this space, and I need to talk about it: regulated. As much as I believe in what it means in the nervous system sense, something has shifted - in me, in this cultural moment, and in what I want to model for my daughters. So I'm officially retiring the word, and replacing it with something that actually captures what we're building here: flourished.Key PointsWhy "regulated" no longer works for me — The nervous system definition of regulated (moving through sympathetic and shutdown states and returning to grounded safety) is still true and valid. But the word itself has become too loaded — politically, culturally, and personally — to land the way it's meant to. Words matter, and this one isn't working anymore.The personal moment that sparked this — A heated exchange with my husband, a group call where another mom voiced the exact same frustration, and the realization that I was holding a layer of self-blame on top of the original trigger: I should be more regulated. Why aren't I more regulated? Sound familiar?The systemic piece we can't ignore — Women have been conditioned to keep their voices calm, their emotions contained, and their reactions palatable. The expectation to be "the regulated one" in the relationship, in the home, in the world — is a systemic pattern, not a personal failing.What I want instead: flourished — Your kids don't need a perfect mom. They don't need a regulated mom. They need a flourished mom. A mom who is lit up by what she's passionate about, who unapologetically feels her feelings, who trusts her rage and her rest and her seasons.The Flourished Mother archetypes — A breakdown of the inner archetypes that live inside the Flourished Mother:The Mindful Gardner — present, self-compassionate (both tender and fierce), a kind witness to herselfThe Boundary Boss — fierce and clear about what she needs to thrive, and unapologetic about itThe Rest Queen & Pleasure Goddess — rest and pleasure are not earned; they're key ingredients in the flourishing recipeThe Cyclical Celebrator — trusts the seasons of nature, the moon, and her own body; doesn't judge the winter or rush the bloomWhat the Flourished Mother actually asks of us — Not to be calm all the time. Not to perform regulation. But to be fully human: alive, passionate, emotionally honest, boundaried, and trusting the process.Permission to let go of regulated — If the word "regulated" has been shackling you — if you've been working overtime to be the composed, calm, measured one — this is your invitation to release that goal and find the word that actually fits. For me? It's flourished.Quotes"I don't want to be regulated. I want to be flourished.""Your kids don't need a perfect mom. They need a flourished mom.""She's the woman that is unapologetically living in a nervous system that is embracing the whole spectrum.""I don't want my girls to grow up feeling like they have to work so hard to be regulated all the time.""I want to be living my most fun, playful, unapologetically human life — which means I'm sad and I'm angry and I lose my temper. That's what I want to model."Resources Mentioned🌿 Flourished Mother Starter Kit — Five nervous system practices to begin awakening your inner Flourished Mother: https://theschoolofmom.com/starter 📬 Reach Sarah at [email protected]🎙️ Send Sarah a voice note: speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextStay close — we're continuing to explore what it actually looks and feels like to be a Flourished Mother, from the inside out.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

It's my birthday week, and I'm out on the road celebrating with something special — opening up a limited number of Flourished Mother Map sessions to the wider community for the very first time. In this episode, I walk you through exactly what the Flourished Mother Map is, why it's the foundation of everything we do in the School of MOM, and introduce a metaphor that might just change how you see your patterns forever: your motherhood GPS. We explore who programmed it, where it's actually taking you — and how to reroute.Key PointsWhat the Flourished Mother Map is and why women in Flourish consistently say it's worth the entire investment on its ownThe self-driving car metaphor: how most of us are being driven by unconscious programming we didn't choose and can't seeWhy having the right planner, system, or notebook will never get you to your destination if the GPS is programmed to go somewhere elseOne of the most common themes in Flourished Mother Maps: making time for ourselves and the beliefs that get in the wayThe "achieving first, rest later" programming so many high-functioning mothers carry — and what the updated belief system looks likeWhy we need support to make our own unconscious conscious (even Sarah, who coaches on this, needs her own coach)The garden metaphor: we can't blame the flower for not blooming — we have to look at the conditions it's planted inHow the Flourished Mother Map zooms out to show you where you are, where you're getting stuck, what's working, and what your path forward looks likeThe full School of MOM journey: starting with your Flourished Mother Map → integration in Flourish → your unique path to flourishingQuotes"You have been put in a self-driving car that has its own destination — and you didn't pick it.""You can have the newest planner, but you're still in the same place, because you're still in that outdated, unhelpful programming.""We can't blame the flower for not blooming. We have to look at the conditions that the flower is planted in.""My wellbeing, my nervous system state is at the nucleus of the thriving and flourishing of my family.""We need support to make our own unconscious conscious."Resources Mentioned🎂 Birthday Special — Flourished Mother Map: Limited spots available → https://checkout.theschoolofmom.com/map/🎙️ Send Sarah your voice note right here!: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextIf this episode had you wondering who's really driving your car, reach out — Sarah would love to do a Flourished Mother Map with you. And watch this space: exciting things are ahead at the School of MOM.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I talk about one of the most foundational concepts in the work we do here at The School of Mom: selves leadership. This is the thread that runs through everything — through the Mothering Ourselves Mindfully framework, through what it really means to want to "be a better mom," and through how we show up in a world that is desperately hungry for grounded, mature, emotionally attuned adults. If you've ever looked around and wondered where are the adults in the room? — this one is for you.Key PointsWhat "selves leadership" actually means — We are not just one self. We are a compilation of younger selves, reactive selves, and wiser selves. The inner work here is about tending to the contracted parts while awakening and amplifying the more grounded, steady parts that are ready to lead.The connection to attachment theory — Many of us grew up without a securely attached caregiver — without someone who was emotionally healthy, attuned, and present. Selves leadership is about becoming that secure attachment figure for yourself, inside the ecosystem of your own inner world. It's not too late.Awakening vs. creating — This is a crucial distinction. We are not building something from scratch. We are awakening what is already there. The steady, compassionate, resilient parts of you already exist — in your body, in your lineage, in your healed and wise ancestors, even if they weren't in your immediate family.The grief that comes with this work — There is real grief in realizing you didn't have the model you needed growing up. That's valid, and we make room for it. And and — we can grieve that while also discovering that the resource we're looking for is actually accessible within us.What's happening in our world right now — We are living in a moment with a real lack of grounded leadership. Our kids are watching. This isn't new — the feelings of hopelessness and overwhelm are ancient — but this moment is calling us to alchemize our anger and grief into effective action. That starts with leading ourselves.Emotional safety starts inside — When you learn to lead all parts of yourself, you create emotional safety for yourself first. Your kids then experience a parent who can return to steadiness — because you can return to steadiness in the ecosystem of your own inner world.You are being called, not invited — This is not a gentle nudge. Women and mothers everywhere are being called to wake up from inherited, programmed survival states. The more we stay in shutdown and hopelessness, the more we fuel the very systems we want to change.Quotes"We are becoming the unicorns here in The School of Mom.""No one is coming to save us. We actually have to become those humans that we so desperately crave in our lives.""Awakening versus creating — it's so much more challenging to create something from scratch than to tap into what is already there.""When mothers learn how to lead all parts of themselves, you create emotional safety for yourself — and you create emotional safety for your kids.""We all have an assignment right now, and that is to wake up."Resources MentionedThe Flourished Mother Starter Kit — Five nervous system practices to begin awakening your more grounded, mindful, discerning, and attuned self. Download it at https://theschoolofmom.com/start Mothering Ourselves Mindfully — Sarah's signature program. Learn more at https://theschoolofmom.com/momSend Sarah a voice message: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextWe're continuing to explore what it means to truly mother ourselves mindfully — not as a self-improvement project, but as a profound act of leadership. Stay close for what's coming next at The School of Mom.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm walking through a snowy winter scene reflecting on a question that's been coming up a lot lately: what does it really mean to want to be a better mom? I share the story of my very first brand positioning statement from 2020, why I pushed back on it then, and why five years later I've completely changed my mind. This episode is an invitation to explore how growth and self-compassion aren't opposites — and why wanting more for yourself as a mom is something to be proud of.Key PointsThe marketing positioning statement that made me anxious in 2020 — and why I embrace it nowWhy I was over-protecting moms from their own shame, and the shift I've made sinceThe difference between wanting to be better from a place of "I'm not enough" vs. "I'm ready and available"What "better" actually means in my world: more steady, more grounded, more integrated — not more perfectThe conversation I had with my daughters asking them how I could be a better mom — and what they saidWhy shame is like an appendix: we've largely evolved past needing it, and it rarely drives healthy actionWho I'm speaking to now: the self-aware, high-functioning mom who is activated by growth, not shamed by itHow wanting to be better actually helps us integrate the parts of ourselves that feel like they're never enoughQuotes"There is nothing wrong with you as you are, and you still get to want more from yourself.""Better, ironically, means that you've integrated the parts of yourselves that don't feel like they're good enough.""I am perfectly imperfect. I embrace all parts of myself — and they're super lucky because of that.""It's possible to grow and to be better without shame."Resources MentionedSend Sarah a voice note! → Send Sarah your voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomLearn more about Mothering Ourselves Mindfully → https://theschoolofmom.comEmail Sarah directly: [email protected]'s Coming NextIf this episode stirred something in you, send Sarah a voice note or share it with a mom friend you can go on a walk with and ask: "What does being a better mom mean to you?" Those are exactly the conversations the School of Mom is here for.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this rich and wide-ranging conversation, I'm joined by Leslie Forde — researcher, founder, and author of Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom's Hierarchy of Needs. Leslie's work began after a brutal return from maternity leave landed her in burnout, and what emerged from the wreckage was a research obsession that has since become a roadmap for mothers everywhere. We talk about the invisible forces quietly draining our energy, why moms have been left out of the health span movement, and why - backed by real data - your self-care is quite literally the most important thing you can do for your children.Key PointsThe Three Ghosts — the hidden forces sapping your time, energy, and wellbeing: mental load, decision fatigue, and time scarcity. Leslie breaks down what each one is, how they compound one another, and what you can actually do about them.The suitcase metaphor — why trying to fit your needs into an already overpacked life is like traveling with a tiny suitcase and giving all the space to everyone else. (And why it's time to get your own suitcase.)The biological limit on decisions — you have a decision budget each day. Once it's spent, it's spent. Understanding this changes how you structure your mornings, your work, and where you spend your mental energy.Time scarcity and the brain — research shows that whether the scarcity is food, money, or time, the neurological impact is the same. Mothers are disproportionately drowning in time scarcity, and it's not a personal failing — it's math.The health data that should stop us in our tracks — women live nine fewer healthy years than men, 80% of autoimmune disease sufferers are women, and postpartum suicide is a leading cause of maternal death. This is not a wellness trend. This is a health crisis.The number one predictor of a child's health and happiness — spoiler: it's their mother's health and happiness. The research is clear. Your nervous system regulation is your most important parenting tool.Why moms are being left out of the healthspan movement — men are biohacking their way to longevity while mothers are cleaning counters and filling out camp forms. Leslie is here to change that.Practical strategies — from batching decisions to protecting your mornings to asking your manager what they actually need, there are real, tangible ways to reclaim cognitive space and build a life that works for you.Quotes"We feel like it's our fault — but the reality is, we are trying to cram a week's worth of stuff into a two-day suitcase.""If you're not in good mental and physical health, it actually hurts your children. And nobody wins if you go down in flames.""Health for moms is my ministry.""You may have to fiercely defend your dignity and your human right to claim the space that you need. It's difficult, but it's necessary."Resources Mentioned📖 Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom's Hierarchy of Needs by Leslie Forde: https://a.co/d/0iHy0x8v🌐 Leslie's website + wellness app + research study: momshierarchyofneeds.com💼 Connect with Leslie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/momshierarchyofneeds/📖 Estrogen Matters — referenced by Leslie on menopause, health span, and longevity for women: https://a.co/d/08miRehAConnect with Sarah🎙️ Send Sarah your voice note right here! SpeakPipe — Send a voice message to The School of Mom: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomThank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

I’m braving the frigid New England temps to share this 5,000-foot view on why mothering ourselves mindfully has never been more timely or necessary. From the Epstein files to racist tweets from the White House, the world is asking us to wake up—and we cannot afford to stay stuck in rage or shutdown. This is your call to get on a “boat” you care about, own your experience, and stop waiting for someone else to save you, your kids, or the causes you care about. If you've been thinking "maybe later" or "I don't have time," this episode is the cold glass of water in the face you need.Key PointsWhy staying stuck in anger or hopelessness serves no one—not you, your family, or the causes you care aboutHow mothering ourselves mindfully is an act of resistance against systems that benefit from our overwhelmThe privilege and responsibility white women have to use our voices for goodWhy you cannot expect your children to be more emotionally grounded than you are—they learn from what we modelThe importance of "owning your experience" rather than staying in victim modeHow no one is coming to save you—but community and support can help you save yourselfThe boat metaphor: pick a boat, get on a boat, but don't stay on a sinking boatWhy transformation begins the moment you commit, even before the work startsThe question to ask yourself: Are you proud of how you're showing up right now?Quotes"We cannot, we can no longer put off the responsibility that we have to be conscious, compassionate, committed humans to our loved ones, to our communities, to our planet.""We can't expect our children to be more emotionally grounded and intelligent than we are. They have to learn it from us.""There is no time to waste because change takes a long time.""No one else is gonna step up. We need you. Your kids need you. You need you.""Are you proud of how you're showing up for yourself right now? How you're showing up for your kids and how you're showing up for the causes that you care about?""The transformation is in the transaction."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves Mindfully: Registration ends February 19th at midnight EST. Program starts February 23rd with weekly live calls for 8 weeks on Mondays at noon. Includes one-on-one call with Sarah, Spotify playlist for replays, and intentional buffer time. Learn more at https://theschoolofmom.com/momFlourish Community: Integration space for ongoing practice and community supportSend Sarah your voice note right here! SpeakPipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomThank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm diving into one of the biggest barriers I hear from women about joining The School of Mom: "I don't have time." Here's the truth that might sting a little: the very thing that will change your relationship with time IS this program. And the belief that you don't have time is exactly what's preventing you from the transformation you're seeking. I'm breaking down the neuroscience of "story follows state," sharing my own time scarcity moments, and explaining why our beliefs about time are actually rooted in our nervous system programming—not reality.Key PointsUnderstanding "story follows state" - how your nervous system state creates your beliefs about timeCommon time traps we fall into: "there's never enough time," "time is a thief," "you'll miss this one day"How stress states drive our scarcity beliefs around time versus ventral vagal (grounded) state beliefsWhy saying "I don't have time" is really "I'm not making time" - and that's okay to acknowledgeThe distinction between seasons where something truly doesn't fit versus when it's a priority issueHow writing a book taught me I can never say "I don't have time" againWhy multitasking won't work for nervous system healing - you actually need to pay attentionWhat will you wish you had made time for on your deathbed?Integration practices designed specifically for moms (not morning routines that don't work when you're sleep-deprived)When it's NOT a good time to join: deep postpartum, acute life transitions, major moves or illnessWhy I'm no longer spending time convincing women they have time - meeting you where you areQuotes"Story follows state. The state that we are in our nervous system, in our body dictates the lens through which we see the world.""When I slow down, time slows down.""I can never ever say again that I don't have time because I writing a book, hours and hours and hours of writing.""I do have time. I make time for what matters to me.""This is not another thing that you have to add on. It's changing how you move through what you're already doing.""People on their deathbed say they wish they were more present, they wish they had more time to play, they wish they were in that nervous system state that is that connected grounded state.""I am entering a new era where I no longer have time to try to convince you that you can make the time."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves Mindfully signature program - starting February 23rd: http://www.theschoolofmom.com/mom"It Is Round Time" - bonus training included with MOM program enrollment about rewiring your relationship with timeBook a call with Sarah to discuss if the program is right for you: https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/149935Send Sarah your voice note right here!What's Coming NextRegistration is open NOW for Mothering Ourselves Mindfully! This 8-week program includes four small group integration calls (Mondays at 12pm Eastern or Thursdays at 1pm Eastern) and four live teaching calls. Plus everyone who joins receives the complete "It Is Round Time" series as a bonus.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call