Leading Human

Chad and Shelley explore the reasons behind why we overwork. They examine the beliefs behind overworking, and consider how and when we can begin to dismantle those beliefs and pursue second mountain work.Time Stamps:Why do I overwork? 0:02We all have a big self and pursuing it is fully, but most of us let fear persuade us not to pay attention to the episodes.We live in a meritocracy and competition. 2:00Workaholism overwork is a term that was coined in 1971 by a psychologist.Being led by our egos. 3:47A lot of us get to a point where we have been led by our egos, which is a necessary part of self-development.A client recently asked why she was a workaholic.Why we are workaholics. 5:02The ego believes that the ego needs to be workaholics in order to survive, and that overworking is 100% all the time.James hollis, accumulation and attachment are unconscious.The ego and the conflation of identity. 7:18The stakes were really high. 9:10The first mountain experience.Why do I want to keep doing this? 10:55If there is no friction or no breaking down, why would you want to keep doing this?The five regrets of the dying. 12:49The tipping point is wanting it, because if you don't, it's all moot.Work from the soul is more fulfilling than work from ego. 14:38Surrendering work from the soul is hard work, but it is more fulfilling than work that comes from the ego.Show Notes:Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the Burnout to Big Self Facebook GroupOrder a copy of Chad’s <a...

You may be familiar with him from his Super Soul Sunday radio series and his popular interview with Oprah from over ten years ago. Whether or not you've heard him--or of him--Reverend Ed Bacon has a second mountain message we could all use in our lives.The Reverend was ordained an Episcopal priest after serving as Mercer University’s Minister to Students and Dean of Students as a Southern Baptist minister. He was dean of the cathedral in Jackson, Ms. and rector of churches in Dalton, Georgia and Pasadena, California from which he “retired” in 2016. He says he flunked retirement in 2018 when he became interim rector at St. Luke’s, Atlanta where he had been ordained in 1983. He and his wife, Hope, moved to Hoover, Alabama in 2016 to be near their grandchildren. Now he travels, teaching how our Oneness in Love overcomes our fear-based separateness. He expresses this spiritual way of life in his book, 8 Habits of Love. His missions also include creation care including helping to save the Pando forest in southern Utah, interspirituality, healing grief and trauma, and dismantling systems of all forms of bigotry and oppression.Today, he shares with us is the inspiring and challenging depths we can get to on a regular basis if we’re able to get still with ourselves. The wisdom, the ability to let go of our egoic fears, and hold on to the things that we say we value, are all a part of the message and ideas he shares with us today.Time Stamps:What does living in your big self mean to you? 3:28The ego and its purpose.Making decisions based on ego strength. 9:09Stillness is a superpower. 14:52The ocean metaphor.Advice for the average person who hears this message. 19:50How to become more aware of distractions.How to make yourself still and quiet.How stillness opens up the learner's mindset. 22:50The difference between fear and love.The difference between the learner’s mind and the learners mind. 28:18Community and practicing the habit of community.Thomas Merton and community. 33:11One of history's greatest spiritual revelations, the "Louisville Epiphany."Community is the root of unity.The sweetness of the second mountain. 38:20Habits of love are interconnected.The sweetness of the second mountain.Stillness and the gift of stillness. 44:35Show Notes:His 2012 interview with OprahTwitter: @RevEdBaconFacebook:...

“Toxic” cultures aren’t all the same. They’re caused by different poinsons. So start there. Bad boss? Unrealistic expectations? Systemic overload?How you answer this will determine how you respond.&nbsp;How do we define “toxic”? An environment that’s incompatible with YOUR wellbeing.&nbsp;Wellbeing consists of physical, emotional, intellectual, relational and spiritual wellbeing.&nbsp;But if you aren’t at an institution with well-documented and widespread dysfunction, if you are at a relatively normal place with its typical interpersonal human drama, then ask the questions we offer up in this episode.Time Stamps:The definition of toxic culture. 1:19Shifting your beliefs and expectations. 4:29Awareness that a job is not what is good for you is an indication of movement in your life.A startup environment and leadership roles. 9:41What conversation am I avoiding that will go well? 10:52What is a projection? 12:03Start with yourself. 15:28The one takeaway is to start with yourself when it comes to dealing with your Show Notes:Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the Burnout to Big Self Facebook GroupOrder a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-big-self-podcast/id1485907203" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

Judy K. Herman inspires executive women to unlock the power of their authentic selves in order to live peaceful, purposeful, and positive lives without regret. She provides keynotes, seminars, and workshops for companies who support women in leadership while honoring authentic work relationships and cultures. Her clinical and personal experiences enhance her work as an executive coach providing skills and resources that change organizations and family trees.Time Stamps:How Judy became a psychotherapist. 6:08Being a psychotherapist, raising four children and having five grandchildren.Marrying a second time.How to begin to work on yourself. 12:23Relationships shift when one person grows.Relationships are mirrors to us and our souls.Growing in self-awareness and relationship awareness.The dynamics of family relationships. 16:54How to become more aware of your patterns? 21:40Becoming more aware of family patterns.The beginner's mind and the growth mindset.How to make sense when conversations go sideways.Self awareness takes the will and the skill. 26:48The experience of building a business. 31:42The enneagram and how it affects relationships. 36:08Show Notes:Author of Beyond Messy Relationships: Divine Invitations To Your Authentic SelfAnd Relationships with PurposeBetter Relationships, Better Life PodcastFind out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the Burnout to Big Self Facebook GroupOrder a copy of Chad’s <a...

We hear a lot of language around using Enneagram arrows in this "growth" and "stress" language, and we'd like to be a part of putting that theory to rest. At least, we'd like to offer a better alternative to thinking of it in a simpler, and also slightly more accurate way. We want to "hit the bullseye" when it comes to our arrows. You can go to your first arrow--what we call the "energizing" arrow--in both growth and stress. You can also go to your second arrow--what we call the "resolution" arrow--in growth and stress as well. Just as you can go to either of your wings in growth and stress, the same is true with arrow work. We discuss what going to your first arrow means, as well as your second. We clarify the terms so that it is clear that it doesn't have to do with stress whether we are going to the first or second. It happens in either. The bottom line is that in terms of growth work, we aim for the high sides of our arrows, which typically means we are going their consciously and intentionally until we have developed the memory muscle (so to speak) to inhabit the higher sides with less effort and greater efficacy.This is all growth work. None of it is easy per se. But we'd like to improve upon how we use some of our terms to help make the work a little more clear and a little more accurate. In that way, we're offering up a simpler way to conduct the conscious development of our growth work.Time Stamps:What are wings? 1:24Arrow theories and how they challenge conventional wisdom.Wings are not subtypes.The difference between style and type. 4:30What does a really healthy one have to teach me? 7:46Being aware of unconscious tendencies to withdraw. 9:03Awareness of tendencies both in five and three.Bigger jumps. 11:50Direct vs. confrontational energy. 15:07You can go to either one of the arrows. 18:13The enneagram is not just another typology. 21:03Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the <a...

Dr. Heather Penny is a leadership coach and trusted advisor helping individuals and organizations achieve their goals guided by the 3C's: Clarity, Confidence, and Courage.&nbsp;With a Ph.D. in Human Services and an M.A. in Educational Leadership, Dr. Penny is uniquely positioned to help leaders and teams find their shared vision, develop confidence in their roles, and take action to achieve the success and the lives they were made for.&nbsp;She is fun and engaging and has a clear and authentic message for how to truly aspire to living a more intentional life: one where we intentionally choose what we want to invite in and what we choose to reject and keep out.She is a sought-after speaker, host of The Life You're Made For podcast, and author of The Life You're Made For: Finding Clarity, Confidence, and Courage to be Fully AliveTime Stamps:What first comes to mind when you think of the big self? 2:27How to cultivate clarity, confidence and courage. 5:43The three c's of clarity, confidence and courage.Taking practical action out of a vulnerability. 10:35The importance of confidence and courage. 12:27The value of transformation coaching as transactional. 17:20Finding her tire swing.The power of inviting in and rejecting. 22:22How to live a life of intentionality.How to make difficult choices.Taking responsibility for your mistakes. 25:11Handling difficult conversations and spiraling up out of anxiety.Step into the conversation and own it.How to have difficult conversations in the workplace. 30:29How to be transparent in a workplace.The first question to ask in difficult conversations.Leading with good intent.Leading with confidence and courage. 34:34The importance of leading from a position of care.Show Notes:The Life You're Made For: Finding Clarity, Confidence, and Courage to be Fully AliveFind out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those...

Tom Gautreaux is one of those what we call local legends that we organically find opportunity to speak with. These easygoing conversations focus around building an identity–a self–that finds success in the world, and how they have experienced building a life in ways that sometimes haven’t, but mostly have, flourished.&nbsp;Tom’s our next door neighbor. His father is the well-known novelist and short-story writer, Tim Gautreaux. Tom shows up in this episode with how he grew up and how that shaped him, and how a vocation found him that kept him sustained and excited for all these years.&nbsp;I find the conversation warmed up and we ended up landing on generational work style differences, social media, leadership, the art and challenge of giving effective feedback, and the issue of doing a hard thing every day.Like all of our guests for Season Five, this is an organic and unscripted conversation.Time Stamps:Not all lawyers will be happy being lawyers. 0:00Generational work style differences, social media leadership, art.How did you get started in law? 3:13The importance of being exposed to different management styles and personalities.Burnout and proving value.How did you become an addict to work hard? 7:43The myth of being a rock in an island.Mentor/coach/guiding light.How do you view success? 11:40Millennials burnout and digital natives. 17:15Differences between the younger generation and our generation. 21:18Employees view things differently than students.Employees are more attune to work-life balance.Finding what you love to do. 24:33How to be effective at giving feedback. 29:06The importance of being effective at giving feedback.How to become a very effective leader.Do one thing every day that scares you every day. 35:55Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and...

We are living in a world that is sick. Both literally sick, with 60 percent of adults in the US living with a chronic illness and rising rates of autoimmune diseases in particular, including long COVID, and figuratively sick, facing ever increasing rates of burnout, anxiety, and disconnection.As a writer, activist, and theology student, Lyndsey Medford was used to critiquing unsustainable medical, environmental, economic, and social systems from a theoretical perspective. But when her autoimmune disorder roared out of remission, she discovered that her own body's systems lived at the very real vortex of all those systems' dysfunction.Learning to cooperate with her body would require her to change every aspect of her life--and in the process, to seek a radical reimagining of the world, from a place where sickness is an individual affliction to an interdependent ecosystem where sustainability is a community way of life. In this beautiful and inspiring book, Medford draws on her experiences with a rare autoimmune disease to illuminate the broader lessons we need to learn, in order to heal what ails us individually and communally. Whether our burnout stems from illness, systemic racism, poverty, or simply sin's separation, we're all in need of hope, and we are called to heal together.My Body and Other Crumbling Empires points out the beauty and ubiquity of our limitations; the importance of accessibility, broadly construed; the interconnected nature of individual and public health; and the badly needed wisdom we have gained from living with our particular bodies.Time Stamps:How much is available to me to support my body? 0:00Introduction to today’s show. 1:33The big self vs the liberal self.The meaning of the term big self.Using your body as a launching point for spiritual connection. 5:05The disconnection from her body for years.How she learned to recognize her spiritual connection.The importance of connecting to your body. 8:22The third part of her journey.Transactional vs transformational coaching.Rediscovering yourself and how that is healing.Understanding the complexity of the immune system. 12:55Understanding the immune system and autoimmunity.Getting back to back all the way to fixing.How to deal with perfectionism. 16:37Overworking perfectionism and the church culture.Struggle with the auto-immune experience.Connecting to the world. 20:33Healing for a world that is sick.Do one thing that scares you every day.Relating across the differences of society right now.How good it feels to be in community.Why was that not a very nice side of the house? 26:34The liberating simplicity of...

On this episode, we discuss why we use the term "mountain" when discussing the idea of the "in between" the first and second mountain. The first mountain is the mountain of individual freedom: it is the mountain of autonomy and action, of personal happiness and independence. The second mountain, on the other hand, is the mountain of commitment: it is the mountain of moral joy and meaning, the mountain of giving and interdependence.The goals on that first mountain are the normal goals that our culture endorses, to be a success, to be well thought of, to get invited into the right social circles, and to experience personal happiness. It’s all the normal stuff: nice home, nice family, nice vacations, good food, good friends, and so on.No matter how you succeed on the first mountain, you come to the valley, or what is called "the middle passage." From there, you don't necessarily begin the second mountain journey, but you are offered that opportunity.You don't climb the second mountain the way you climb the first mountain. You conquer your first mountain. You identify the summit and you claw your way toward it. You are conquered by your second mountain.David Brooks explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose: to a spouse and family, to a vocation, to a philosophy or faith, and to a community. Our personal fulfillment depends on how well we choose and execute these commitments. Brooks looks at a range of people who have lived joyous, committed lives, and who have embraced the necessity of dependence. He gathers their wisdom on how to choose a partner, how to pick a vocation, how to live out a philosophy, and how we can begin to integrate our commitments into one overriding purpose.Time Stamps:The provisional personality in midlife. 1:37James hollis, a life of meaning.The provisional personality in a provisional life.The disillusionment of midlife mortality. 3:41The disillusionment that happens in the 40s and 50s.Why mountains are used as an archetypal symbol.Culture’s expectations of success. 7:05The first mountain, climbing the first mountain.The two grinning gremlins of life. 8:44James hollis, fear and lethargy are the enemies of life.Valley story.The valley is not a fun place to be. 12:54The fear of annihilation.Finding ways to break out of yourself and into community. 16:39The role of the coach. 19:27Letting go of what you think you are. 21:40The second mountain is sweeter than the first mountain.Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life...

As a seasoned marketing executive, Teresa has helped many organizations navigate transitions and transformations and achieve lofty goals such as being acquired, exponentially increasing shareholder value, or transforming from a traditional organization to a digital one. Today, as Chief Liminist, strategic advisor, and executive coach, Teresa helps people and organizations master the “art of the pivot,” embrace change, and achieve audacious goals. Chad decided to reach out after learning about her organization's name, The Liminist. Richard Rohr shares a wonderful idea about how liminal space transforms us when we are attentive to the presence of God in times of change. He writes:"The Latin word limen means 'threshold.' Liminal space is an inner state and sometimes an outer situation where we can begin to think and act in new ways. It is where we are betwixt and between, in transition, having left one room or stage of life but not yet entered the next. We usually enter liminal space when our former way of being is challenged or changed—perhaps when we lose a job or a loved one, during illness, at the birth of a child, or a major relocation. It is a graced time, but often does not feel “graced” in any way. In such space, we are not certain or in control." We have a lively conversation about bringing transformational coaching to leaders and organizations in order to improve the bottom line, results.Time Stamps:The difference between self and little self.Richard rohr, liminal space.The liminal space is where we are most teachable. 5:07The liminal space is where people are most teachable.Transitioning from founder to leadership team lead. 10:41Transformational vs transactional. 18:53Transactional vs transformational coaching, emotional intelligence and understanding.The enneagram and the 360.How to develop a functional leadership team. 27:51Building a culture of trust and transparency. 32:54Building a culture of trust is important.80% of golf players are men.The future of work-life balance.What do you think about a four day work week? 37:17The four-day work week movement.Diverse needs of different generations and learning styles.Women learning golf, prioritization and fear.The importance of being open to what we need to learn. 44:10Find Teresa Caro to learn more about her and her organization:The Liministhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/teresacaro/ https://www.linkedin.com/company/liminist/Find out more about Big Self...

Sajad Vahedi is a relationship coach. We met him through our Big Self community, and recognized he has a message worth sharing. He uses the Schema Therapy framework to help clients break the toxic relationship cycle and build healthy and fulfilling relationships by becoming their authentic selves.He believes every person has a unique gift, and if we are our truest selves, we live an authentic life, and the world becomes a rich and beautiful place with everyone serving the world by manifesting their uniqueness.His mission is to help others become their genuine selves and find beauty in it.Time Stamps:What does living in your big self mean to you? 2:05Discover who you are. 4:04Discover who you are first, then work on improving and changing.Getting a PhD in economics and moving to Arizona.Relationship with his partner.The end of the journey. 9:15Schema therapy and an integrative approach.Understanding emotionally understanding the problem. 11:23How does relationship coaching work? 13:25How relationship coaching works.The limits of cbt cognitive behavioral therapy.People are patterns animals. 17:27How she became a relationship coach. 19:28Discovering his passion for psychology. 20:55The transformation from reading psychology to studying psychology.The importance of passion in life.Integrating the whole dimensions of yourself. 25:47Show Notes:Find Sajad Vahedi at his site hereOr join his Facebook group hereFind out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a...

Chalmers Brothers is a best-selling author, certified personal / executive coach, consultant, seminar leader and speaker. 36-year career focused on leadership development, workplace culture, productivity and accountability, teamwork and clarity in communication, emotional intelligence, trust- and relationship-building.His books, Language and the Pursuit of Happiness and Language and the Pursuit of Leadership Excellence have been adopted by the leadership/coaching programs at places such as, Georgetown University, George Mason University, Harley-Davidson Motor Company, Newfield Network (U.S., Europe, Asia), NASA/Goddard Space Center, and many others.Time Stamps:What does it mean to be an authentic leader? 0:00The importance of being authentic in a changing world.How to get feedback on your work. 8:19Getting the feedback to break through the fear.Leadership has gone from command and control to inspire and enroll. 12:50We’re always at choice. 17:21The benefits of taking responsibility for one's own self-awareness.The good and bad news.What is polarity thinking and why is it important? 23:26Emotional Intelligence and Culture. 27:56The two dimensions of organizational performance, execution and culture.Culture eats strategy for breakfast.What do you think about the five day work week? 33:47The four day work week vs the 40 hour work week.Generative actions leaders need to take to get results. 38:44Creating a space for innovation.Language is an action, not just talk.Organizations are human beings coordinating action.Show Notes:Find his 2014 TedTalk hereFind his book here: Language and the Pursuit of Leadership ExcellenceFind out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and...

Some of us want to achieve inner peace and harmony. We're tired of the stresses we constantly feel. And while it is true, when you heal, when you do the inner work to achieve the outer results of different behaviors and renewed relationships, you do cut down on the drama. But much like exercise requires us to constantly challenge our physical bodies, so too is there a need for ongoing inner conflict or tension. It's the need for opposing forces for us to achieve our higher, bigger self. The Law of Three is referred to by Gurdjieff as “the second fundamental cosmic law." According to this law every phenomenon consists of three separate forces, which are Active, Passive and Reconciling or Neutral. This law applies to everything in the universe including organic life on earth. On whatever scale, from molecular to cosmic in whatever world, results from the combination of three opposing forces – the positive (affirming), the negative (denying), and the neutralizing (reconciling) force. And this idea is also put forth from philosophers from a variety of ages, some attribute the concept of thesis, antithesis, and synthesis to Hegel, some to Kant. That doesn’t matter. What we’re putting forth here is the idea that there will always be tension in your growth work.&nbsp;So, intrapersonally there is tension, there will be tension, and the good news is there does in fact NEED to be tension.Time Stamps:The problem with repetitive conflict. 1:32People see patterns of repetitive conflict and dramas.The tension between self-compassion and self-confrontation.Self confrontation. 3:12Self-confrontation is necessary in the coaching process.The law of three.The law of three. 4:45A shock point, a reconciling force.Burnout and the third force. 6:34We get stuck in our own shit. 7:51The one-sided echo chamber of beliefs.The importance of reconciliation and synthesis.Being open to the tension you're feeling. 9:00How do you break the script? 10:38Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s <a...

In 2012, Mandar Apte influenced Shell’s CEO to start Shell’s GameChanger social innovation program, which would invest in innovative solutions to sustainability challenges (SDG’s) and create both social impact and business returns. Through the portfolio of investments that he made through this impact investment fund, Mandar showcased how global brands, like Shell, can and must play a greater role (beyond just philanthropy) to enable and scale social impact.While at Shell, in 2012, Mandar also won the League of Intrapreneurs award for his efforts to design and facilitate an innovation learning program to over 2000 colleagues at Shell using meditation techniques.For nearly two decades, Mandar has volunteered his time for the Art of Living Foundation and the International Association for Human Values to teach leadership development programs using meditation techniques to thousands of people across the world. Mandar is the Founder &amp; Executive Director of Cities4Peace – a not-for-profit consultancy that actively promotes peace in cities worldwide. The flagship program was held in Los Angeles, where so far over 250 community members including LAPD officers, former gang members and victims/survivors of violence have been trained by Mandar as Ambassadors of Peace. Similar programs are now being offered in many other cities and communities worldwide.Time Stamps:3:59--Mandar shares his vision of what Big Self means to him7:10--Mandar reads Dr. MLK Jr.'s autobiography and finds a deep source of inspiration from learning about his trip in 1959 to India13:02--Mandar's background at Shell as a Petroleum engineer21:35--Chad makes an observation that Mandar broke out of his golden handcuffs and stepped into his Big Self when he decided to become a change agent for peace29:42--How breathing is directly related to your experience of a particular emotion, and thus how breath work is a huge source of healing for people imprisoned in their negative emotions39:35--We have to hold the space for conversations and free ourselves from judgment48:27--How putting ourselves amongst diverse groups of people helps us to generate innovative ideas and actionsShow Notes:The movie: From India with Lovewww.cities4peace.orgwww.mandarapte.nethttps://www.amazon.com/India-Love-Scarlett-Lewis/dp/B082VNSNVWBe The Change - a module on peace education;&nbsp;&nbsp;https://cities4peace.mykajabi.com/offers/khFs9v4Phttps://cities4peace.mykajabi.com/offers/khFs9v4PUse our wellwisher code: BTC100Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples....

Sharon K. Ball is a licensed professional counselor–mental health service provider, national board-certified counselor, and an accredited Enneagram teacher through the International Enneagram Association.Because of her background, Sharon has provided trauma-response counseling for victims of mass shootings and hurricanes. She’s been called upon to provide crisis-intervention services during national and international disasters such as the Indian Ocean tsunami and the Haiti earthquake. As the founder of the 9Paths Center for Wellbeing, a clinical counseling center located in the Nashville region, Sharon provides informed trauma care to individuals, couples, and families.&nbsp;I think you’ll find a lot of depth and insight in our unscripted conversation today.&nbsp;I think what Sharon Ball is helping us to understand is that you can take your failure as an opportunity to open up, become more vulnerable, more open to learning and humbly starting again. Sometimes, if we’re honest with ourselves, we don’t allow ourselves to get to these points of openness and honesty until we face a crisis of one kind or another. And, you know, so long as we do end up getting there, learning the power of reinventing ourselves, and the joy that comes with it, we should cut ourselves a little slack.&nbsp;Time Stamps:3:51--Sharon shares her idea of what it means to be living in your Big Self9:58--Sharon's story of going through a complicated, highly visible divorce13:12--People who work through trauma still have a resilience and a pursuit of something better, and how Sharon sees the world through a trauma lens and a hopeful one19:27--Putting the pieces back after trauma to pursue the bigger, fuller self25:10--Integrating the Enneagram with trauma work30:37--We're in this together, and you are not brokenShow Notes:Find out more about 9 Paths hereReclaiming You: Using the Enneagram to Move from Trauma to ResilienceMore about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-big-self-podcast/id1485907203" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

Creativity is not a nice to have - it’s a must have - now, during this 4th industrial revolution - and for the future of work. Natalie is the creativity whisperer to the C-Suite. Her dynamic, accessible and engaging approach has changed lives and impacted executives and leaders across Fortune 500 companies, cultural institutions, and countless individuals.Creativity is the source of all innovation, but how can we cultivate it? Natalie Nixon defines creativity as our ability to toggle between wonder &amp; rigor to solve problems and produce novel value. She draws on her background in business and the arts to show how we can unlock our innate creativity to produce breakthrough products and services.We have a wonderful conversation discussing the effectiveness of creativity across industries, its place in our culture, and what we can do to generate some more of it.Time Stamps:3:42--Natalie's response to her idea of what Big Self means to her8:00--We say we value creativity as high level thinking but we still put it in its place and don't let it in to business contexts11:11--The illustration from Laura Linney's acting experience13:09--Natalie's story of getting an opportunity for a very different kind of educational experience at an early age in Philadelphia20:37--Create the conditions for creativity in the workplace30:40--Changing the way we intentionally create space for creativity using the Motor frameworkShow Notes:Article: Your “invisible work” is key to your most productive selfFind Natalie at Figure 8 Thinking hereHer book, The Creativity LeapFind out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/1yx9VzUCRcYezd7cUlSRn4?si=Xygeo5a7T0ePnX7IaHu0AQ" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

If you only had one thing to tell your younger self, what would it be? On today's micro episode, Chad and Shelley discuss their one thing. It's been on their mind this month as they've been having powerful coaching and podcast conversations, as well as challenging ones with their kids and touring college campuses.Time Stamps:The relationship is about aspiring to live in your big self. 1:42What we wish we’d known when we were younger. 2:56Enduring struggle doesn’t make you more important. 4:18Bringing up the child into the universe.The belief that hard work is more important than easy work.The BSU work study story.Go to your strengths. 7:28What I wish I’d known about college. 8:11The world is bigger and there is more opportunity.Big self school.Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on LinkedIn

Scott Simon is a happiness entrepreneur and founder of the Scare Your Soul courage movement and the author of the book Scare Your Soul: 7 Powerful Principles to Harness Fear and Lead Your Most Courageous Life.&nbsp; He is dedicated to creating, curating, and leading opportunities for people around the world to be happier, empowered and courageous in their own lives. Scott founded the movement in 2015, organically growing it from one Facebook post to a global movement with volunteer ambassadors worldwide. He has presented to groups around the world, appeared widely on TV and podcasts, given a TEDx Talk, and led retreats and mindfulness meditations in person and online. In his coaching practice, Scott works with individuals seeking dramatic change in their lives, with a focus on helping divorcing men find their passion and courage through their major life transition.In his new book, Simon reflects on his childhood spent running from fear--and his adulthood spent chasing it--and inspires readers to take small, boundary-pushing actions to expand comfort zones, harness their fears, and lead a confident and audacious life. He examines the idea of what it means to truly live--not by overcoming our fears, but by embracing them.By combining research on positive psychology with engaging writing prompts, real-world challenges, and first-person stories of Scare Your Soul participants and ambassadors, Simon challenges readers to confront limiting beliefs and live a more meaningful and connected life. When we each individually lead that life, Simon argues, more great ideas happen, more social justices arise, more healthy relationships are fostered and innovation thrives. In a very real sense, we change ourselves and we, together, can change the world.Time Stamps: 3:33--How to get to the big self.8:59--The power of the small things.14:25--The concept of courage practice.19:59--How to define happiness.23:42--Procrastination and how to overcome it.27:40--How to reframe procrastinating into excitement?31:58--Acting together makes us more courageous.35:22--The intersection of courage and flow.Show Notes:http://www.tedxcle.com/scott-simon/https://scareyoursoul.com/scott-simon/More about Big Self School:We still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an <a...

Dr. Jerome Wagner is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, supervisor, consultant in private practice, and emeritus faculty member in the Department of Psychology and Institute of Pastoral Studies at Loyola University, Chicago. On today's episode, Jerry helps us see that the true self is something that we already have and already are and maybe we don’t really have to go out and "find it," and for all the ways in which we’re different and unique and one of a kind, paradoxically, we’re also very much the same.He is innovator of the statistically validated&nbsp;Wagner Enneagram Personality Style Scales&nbsp;(WEPPS). He has been researching and teaching the Enneagram since 1980 and began the Enneagram Spectrum Training and Certification Program in 1995. Time Stamps:4:12--Jerry Wagner's answer to what does Big Self mean to him begins with starting at the surface and working your way down9:18--The ego is an exaggeration of who we are16:09--There's a lot to the Enneagram, you can stay surface or go deep25:23--Start with where you are, your pain point36:30--The integrative approach to developing with the Enneagram, and the recent development of the subtypes46:40--Let's not overthink all this, remember the K.I.S.S. methodShow Notes:Enneagram Spectrum Method9 Lenses on the WorldMore about Big Self School:We still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on <a...

Dr. Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times bestselling author. Recognized as the world’s top communication and organizational culture thinker, and #1 self-awareness coach, Tasha is Principal of The Eurich Group, where she uses science to help successful executives achieve dramatic personal and organizational change. As a coach, consultant, and speaker, Tasha has worked directly with tens of thousands of leaders and spoken live to hundreds of thousands more, on every continent but Antarctica. She is the author of Bankable Leadership (which debuted at #8 on the New York Times bestseller list), and Insight (which famed Wharton professor Adam Grant calls one of the three books he recommends most often). Tasha’s TEDx talks have been viewed more than nine million times. She also contributes to Harvard Business Review, and her expertise has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Fox Business, the BBC, NPR, and more.We are thrilled to have a chance to discuss some of her insights and ideas on the Big Self Show.Time Stamps:3:22--Tasha's answer to what the Big Self and the Little Self mean to her5:09--A simple and clear definition of self-awareness6:50--More people believe they are self-aware than really are9:22--How Freud was wrong13:50--What is the Dinner of Truth?19:05--Why is what others think about us seem to be more important that what we think about ourselves?22:45--What does Tasha think is a really effective way to really understand and get to authentically identify these values?25:55--How do we break through and break down our (or others) defenses when it comes to self-awareness28:30--What are the best questions Tasha ever asked herself that deepened her learning about who she is?More about Tasha EurichFree 5-minute self-awareness quizhttps://www.tashaeurich.com/aboutMore about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Book a discovery call hereWant to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple...

Giving up is ego work. Giving up carries a different energy completely. It is fueled by a fear and a holding on. It produces tension and when we can no longer carry it, we feel the need to give up. Giving up is submitting to lower energy. It’s a feeling of self-abnegation, self-diminishment.&nbsp;Surrender is leveling up. Giving up is downshifting.&nbsp;We give up on ego work. We surrender to soul work.&nbsp;Surrender is a way of accepting the terms of life with a learner’s mind. There is acceptance. There is a renewed perspective, in which we can call something that involves suffering a gift even. Surrendering I think of as even accepting other difficult people in your life, people who have wronged you, who annoy you, who you plain dislike or feel you need to defend yourself from, and sending them love instead of defenses and reasons for your disdain.Importantly, too, when we surrender, we stay open.We still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Time Stamps::46--Shelley was recently teaching on the archetypes around feminine energy2:38--The acceptance that comes from being open 3:43--Surrendering is always a movement into spaciousness6:41--Shelley shares her experience of being a sensitive kid growing up10:37--Are giving up and surrendering mutually exclusive?Show Notes:Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on LinkedIn

Sally Clarke is an author, speaker, researcher and burnout expert and Co-Director at Human Leaders. A former finance lawyer, she works with leaders and organizations around the globe to embed wellbeing at work so people and business thrive. Sally's latest book, ‘Relight Your Spark’ guides individuals on how to heal and evolve after burnout. Her book Relight Your Spark, is a practical guide to all things burnout, affordably priced, and also details her personal journey with burnout. Like so many of us, she bought into the belief that if you make it to a prestigious workplace and you just grind hard enough long enough you’ll somehow make it to the other side a fulfilled and joy-filled person. It’s amazing how often we hear the accounts of how this illusion doesn’t turn out the way we believe it will, but we continually and repeatedly keep living it out, almost as if we just don’t know what else or how else to live what we think of as a successful life.Time Stamps:4:13--Sally's answer to what Big Self means to her10:00--How burnout is complex but it's not just about taking the fish out of the water for a little while and then putting the fish back in14:25--Evaluating what "being successful" really means18:33--The Four Steps of moving through burnout according to Sally's framework from her book20:57--The myth of we have to do it ourselves27:19--There is a lot we can do in spite of how burnout is actually continuing to grow right nowShow Notes:We Are Human Leaders podcastRelight Your SparkGlobal State of Burnout Report 2023We still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on <a...

There’s growing evidence that signals sent from our internal organs to the brain play a major role in regulating emotions and fending off anxiety and depression.Interoception may be less well known than the “outward facing” senses such as sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell, but it has enormous consequences for your wellbeing. Scientists have shown that our sensitivity to interoceptive signals can determine our capacity to regulate our emotions, and our subsequent susceptibility to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.It is now one of the fastest moving areas in neuroscience and psychology, with academic conferences devoted to the subject and a wealth of new papers emerging every month. There is an exponential growth in interoceptive research.&nbsp;These findings include promising new ways for you to “tune in” to the body and alter your perception of its interoceptive signals – techniques that may help treat a host of mental health problems. It is only by listening to the heart, it seems, that we can take better care of the mind.Time Stamps:1:18--The growing research around Interoceptive signals4:52--The senses we tend to focus on with body awareness7:55--You will not be able to change, unless you can become aware of your inner experience10:00--Shelley was in her emotions after our oldest son left and how her workout put her in a different awareness12:07--Why physical workouts are so important13:18--Why mindfulness is so importantShow Notes:Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on LinkedIn

We need to be open to a third force — another way of having an experience — so that we can defuse the psychic bomb of our personal history.&nbsp;This script is why we repeat dramas throughout our lives. When you introduce a third force — or a new way to do the script — you can finally step out of it.&nbsp;This is also why self-confrontation is critical to healing and growth. We cannot set up camp only in self-compassion. That’s only one path of the work. We have to create a tension to give us material to work with.&nbsp;So how do we do it?&nbsp;Time Stamps:1:00--The idea of moving past repetitive conflicts4:38--The three forces at work when moving into and through conflict8:42--How Roy Kent got stuck in Ted Lasso11:52--Three different ways we can listenShow Notes:Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on LinkedIn

Today, we learn from Enneagram type Seven, Milton Stewart, and the inner and outer work he's doing. Milton is the founder of Kaizen Careers, Coaching and Consulting. He facilitates the Enneagram and is on a mission to help people feel seen. Milton is one of the very few African-American male Enneagram teachers in the world. He hosts and produces the Do It For The Gram podcast, which teaches the Enneagram from a practical standpoint. He is also an International Enneagram Association Global Board Member.Milton believes the Enneagram is more than just a personal tool but a map of how to truly honor the humanity of others. He uses the Enneagram in many ways but the most powerful way he uses it is in spaces of diversity, equity, and inclusion.Time Stamps:6:48--The Enneagram just hits the nail on the head when it comes to our patterns8:50--Milton's work as a Seven with emotions11:46--Chad connects with what Milton is saying about anger14:17--How the Enneagram is growing in diversity but there is still plenty of work to do23:46--Milton's offering of an Enneagram certification program25:38--The "both and" of how Milton works with the EnneagramShow Notes:Save the date for World Enneagram date: May 27 at 11 AM ETRegister for World Enneagram Day hereWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on LinkedIn

The concept of trust has been coming up a lot for us lately. Chad's been asked to do a training on it recently, especially when it comes to trying to build a team through the "storming" stage of development. And for Shelley, it's been a piece of the personal growth work she's been doing at this time in her own life. Trust comes easier for some people than others. Some are naturally inclined to distrust, and some to trust. We always encourage you to do your own growth around these ideas, but it's also important to observe the level of trust you engage with in your professional life. How much trust is there? How much trust do you give and receive?How much do you trust us to cover this idea in under eight minutes? Time Stamps::50: Where it all begins when it comes to trust1:21: If this situation never changed whatever situation you're complaining about, if it never changed, what quality would you have to birth in order to have peace of mind?5:15--What's something I need to be trusting today?Show Notes:We still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on LinkedIn

When Ginger first hopped into a five-day class on the Enneagram in the '90s, she accidentally enrolled in the advanced group. But she didn’t let jumping in over her head stop her curiosity. Before those five days were over she had a vision from a blimp that she had to do this.&nbsp;Her website The Enneagram in Business is an ever-expanding trove of information for personal and professional applications. She offers certification trainings in the Enneagram, a wide-ranging database of resources, and has links to her nine books that she’s been publishing on the Enneagram and business for nearly 20 years now.She has plenty to share with us, but one of my biggest curiosities was how she uses it in professional and business contexts.Times Stamps:2:18--The Enneagram finds us7:10--How Ginger began to think about taking the Enneagram to organizations11:33--For Ginger, the Enneagram is about the whole person and everyone--including in the workplace--can grow from the insights it leads to, the only question is about whether or not people are willing to share in those contexts18:03--Ginger has a panic attack when her first book comes out23:46--The Enneagram can help you work through team issues much faster than without it34:25--How Ginger and her team on the EIBN got nearly 800 respondents from around the world in 2022 for how the Enneagram has worked in organizations around the worldMore about Ginger's workEIBN: Enneagram in Business NetworkEnneagram in Business Network on LinkedInThe Enneagram in Business Global Survey 2022Transform Your Team with the Enneagram: Build Trust, Decrease Stress, and Increase ProductivityShow Notes:We offer our flagship burnout coaching package, and we also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at <a href="https://www.bigselfschool.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

A Harvard-trained physician, clinical cardiologist, and certified mindfulness meditation teacher with 20 years of clinical experience, Dr. Jonathan Fisher survived burnout and rediscovered his joy at work the hard way. He is now committed to ending workplace burnout and optimizing peak performance in healthcare and the corporate world.&nbsp;His mission is to empower leaders and teams to experience more joy, meaning, and connection in their lives, and to reach their full potential.We have a terrific conversation centered around the body, what it means to hold in emotions and the toll it takes, as well as ways to center yourself and live a whole and integrated life.Time Stamps:2:37--The gift of burnout7:30--Is the system broken? What's up with burnout, especially right now among clinicians?13:12--Do we have reason for hope?18:05--The idea that we don't completely know what's going on with all the stress going on in our bodies, but here's what we do know right now and how it works26:33--Isolation is such a root cause of our collective and individual suffering, but what do we do about it? 31:32--Personal practices of Jonathan Fisher, who first says, 'Don't just do what I do, do what works for you'34:04--Why Jonathan Fisher advises delving into positive psychology when it comes to deeply learning about ourselves, and he has an acronym from it: SPACE39:22--How 360s can enhance awareness along the ideas that Dr. Fisher lays out with his SPACE acronym41:37--From micro stresses to micro sancturariesShow Notes:Find Jonathan and learn about his summit at:HappyheartmdandEndingphysicianburnout.comFor further reading:The Surgeon General's recent warningWe offer our flagship burnout coaching package, and also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or <a...

Why would Chad and Shelley say that radical responsibility is a major commitment? Why would it be one of the foundations for beginning to make huge shifts in your learning and personal growth? Tune into today's episode and find out why taking complete responsibility for the conditions you create in your life is all on you and your choices.What could go wrong?Time Stamps:1:04--What exactly do mean by what it means to take radical responsibility?3:10--This is counter-cultural. We immediately and automatically blame5:18--How we're naturally defensive to what happens when stress emerges8:40--This is not easy work, but it's possible work9:00--A simple tool for practicing radical responsibilityShow Notes:We still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on LinkedIn

Big Self Show hosts, Chad and Shelley get together to explore their takeaways from Chad's conversation with Rob Cross and Karen Dillon and their new book, The Microstress Effect. Shelley emphasizes the important role that our own personality plays in creating the ongoing conditions of our stress. She opens up about a couple of ways her own personality has dictated the terms of her ongoing stress patterns.Time Stamps:1:18--Most of the stress we experience is psychologically based3:04--Shelley describes two addictive patterns in her own personality's operating system5:36--Can we always disrupt what our personality patterns are doing when we're surrounded by the conditions of our culture? Show Notes:The Microstress Effect: How Little Things Pile Up and Create Big Problems -- and What To Do About ItReady to learn how to improve your team’s communication, trust, leadership, or overall performance?&nbsp;We are booking workshops for Q2 and Q3 as we speak. We offer two-hour, half-day, and full-day training. Your team will come away with tools to improve performance immediately, as well as how to implement cultural changes you want to embody. Reach out and book a discovery call with Chad and let’s have a conversation about what your team or organization needs and we can get you scheduled now.&nbsp;Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Order a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on LinkedIn

Welcome to Season 5 of the Big Self Show, episode 122!We kick off this season with an exploration from a brand new release, The Microstress Effect, by Rob Cross and Karen Dillon. Conventional wisdom for coping with stress has often focused on finding ways to "steel" yourself to endure, through such practices as mindfulness and meditation. And recent research has highlighted the importance of relationships to our physical and mental well-being. We have probably heard that loneliness has been linked to cardiovascular disease, depression, anxiety and numerous other ailments. This is all important data, but hugely important in the scope of the work is to figure out what to do about and how to make life better here and now.Finding ways to identify and remove negative interactions can make a significant difference in your life. And that's what our conversation was all about.Time Stamps:3:56--Microstress defined5:50--An accumulation until the question, "How did I get here?"6:40--The 14 micro stresses10:30--Are we more stressed or less stressed since the pandemic?12:20--The conundrum of being so incredibly stressed and yet we also have so much more control over what we do with our time16:38--How leaders can inadvertently cause stress in their teams19:07--What we can learn from the ten percenters25:15--How mindfulness and yoga can help, but sometimes just to increase your capacity to managing your internal grit26:10--How connections are vital in building resilience27:45--The single takeaway our audience must getShow Notes:The Microstress Effect: How Little Things Pile Up and Create Big Problems -- and What To Do About ItBe sure and grab yourself a copy of Chad's groundbreaking book on stress, Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and StressLeave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on SpotifyFind us at bigselfschool.comJoin us on LinkedIn

Today we share a wide-ranging conversation with Parker Palmer. From acts of rebellion to the hidden wholeness of the world to the integration of the inner and outer life, as well as teaching and leadership, this conversation is rich in wisdom and hope.We have followed Parker Palmer’s work for literally decades, and are both thrilled and honored to have him on our podcast. This opportunity to get a chance to meet him and reflect with him on the condition of the world right now was a real gift. We are grateful for his work and will continue beating the drum of joining "soul and role" in discovering our hidden wholeness in this corner of the world.Check out The Center for Courage and Renewal or just a few of Parker Palmer's books here:The Center for Courage and RenewalLet Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of VocationA Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided LifeTime Stamps:3:32--Shelley shares with Parker how his work mentored her when she went through a dark time6:13--Parker begins his story as to how he started on his academic career, but felt like it wasn't enough11:35--Shelley asks Parker about the idea of the unfolding of calling20:20--Walking in the woods is a contemplative exercise24:39--The idea that it's an act of rebellion to try to show up in the world as a whole person30:00--The idea that for perspective, the world really does go on without us35:57--Parker's truer calling was in writing and sharing his ideas rather than activism and what he felt he "ought" to do39:03--Failure hurts, so it's not easy to separate ourselves from it46:20--The other thread that runs through this is that you have maintain your inner life51:29--What's the smallest thing we can do today to move us in our purpose56:02--Life on the Mobius StripLeave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes.Subscribe on Spotify.Find us at the Big Self Community on Facebook.

This work largely comes from Chad's recently released book, Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and Stress. We invite you to check it out anywhere books are sold through the global online marketplace. We’re covering this information as a part of the Big Self Podcast for three reasons: (1) Towards the larger goal of increasing self-awareness. If you are able to assimilate this information in your head as knowledge, it’s going to be more possible for you to incorporate your dispositions into your working knowledge of your Self-Observation practices, which will lead to your Self-Inquiry, which will lead to integrated changes in your transformed personality, through Self-Development. (2) It’s good to know about others in order to be able to communicate most effectively, understanding their dispositions especially to stress and interpersonal relationships. (3) Finally, it gives us all compassion for ourselves and each other, which is one of the most important principles to recognize when beginning this work. Be gentle with yourself.Time Stamps:5:44--Psychological Roots and Key Patterns that Create Stress for Eights10:38--Psychological Roots and Key Patterns that Create Stress for Nines15:16--Psychological Roots and Key Patterns that Create Stress for Ones20:25--Psychological Roots and Key Patterns that Create Stress for Twos25:25--Psychological Roots and Key Patterns that Create Stress for Threes31:14--Psychological Roots and Key Patterns that Create Stress for Fours35:39--Psychological Roots and Key Patterns that Create Stress for Fives40:31--Psychological Roots and Key Patterns that Create Stress for Sixes46:25--Psychological Roots and Key Patterns that Create Stress for SevensClick here to order a copy of Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and Stress.Follow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

While there are nine distinctive ways that personalities show up in the world, there are also by contrast, very similar ways that all people look when their ego isn't in charge. With steady practice in Self-Observation, Self-Inquiry, and Self-Development, you will see a healthier response to your day-to-day responses.These are the six ways a healthy ego looks like in relationships.Time Stamps:5:56--Three stages of observation learning12:32--The six ways beginning with #116:22--The second way a healthy ego looks17:49--The third way a healthy ego looks22:51--The fourth way a healthy ego looks26:21--The fifth way a healthy ego looks29:33--The six and final way a healthy ego looksClick here to order a copy of Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and Stress.Follow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

We may learn about the false self, we may learn how to hide features of false self from others so that we seem genuine, but hiding and merely learning about are not the same thing as authentic transformation. And that's the challenging subject matter we tackle on today's episode.The way of the false self is invested in your outer identity and what you possess, whereas the way of the true self is invested in who you are and what you can share. It’s not by efforting that I come to know my true self. The path of finding my true self begins with the awareness that I am “shadowed by an illusory person: a false self.”&nbsp;First clearly see your false self. And begin the unmasking with deep grace and self-compassion. There are plenty of reasons we “mask up” in our early lives. And when we're ready to move beyond those masks, we have to be tender with ourselves in much the same way we can imagine the Source or God would love you unconditionally.&nbsp;Time Stamps:1:50: How today's episode is a little different from a lot of our episodes5:42: How many people choose not to raise their level of awareness and how that development impacts the future you create one way or the other7:43: The work isn't easy, but what else would you rather be doing exactly?10:19: The ego resists when it gives something which it doesn't have, it's finite16:27: Releasing the false self can be the key to finding the true self22:34: Merton says we should shift from the circumference to the center26:22: Story of Akiba on his deathbed bemoaning the fact that he had not lived a life like Moses28:16: Shelley shares a personal story as an example, and Chad follows with one of his own37:07: It's who you really are, your essential nature46:04: The idea of dismantling false illusions, and how so much of this is the stress you're carrying aroundShow Notes:Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas MertonWishful Thinking by Frederick BuechnerWhat the Mystics Know by Richard RohrClick here to order a copy of Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and Stress.Follow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

Traumatic events happen to the best of us. Some are more ordinary than others, like car accidents or losing a job, and others are bigger. Whether big T or little t, traumas are crisis’ that happen to all of us, it’s not some rare thing. Resilience is about using the crisis or the suffering to grow and launch yourself into a whole new beginning. Beyond just recovering from setbacks, resilience helps us navigate all life challenges, and end up the better for them. Resilience is a mindset that enables us to seek out new experiences and view life as a work in progress. Here’s a simple framework to think about the work that goes into building resilience: Pain + reflection = progress. Pain is going to happen. But pain itself doesn’t equal progress.And that’s really what we mean when we talk about bouncing forward. It helps us move from mere surviving to thriving.&nbsp;Today we get to our how. How do you develop resilience and use these essential skills?&nbsp;Time Stamps:3:15: The challenges we face in life are not meant to be some sort of punishment. But an invitation to change.6:57: 83% of people think they're resilient (but only just over half really are)13:06: Researchers have shown that resilience is basically optimism, self mastery, control, flexible thinking, and the ability to cope with stress when they're when they're doing their research.15:11: The Grateful Living practice24:32: The Lovingkindness Meditation practice33:53: Quality RelationshipsShow Notes:Bouncing Forward: The Art and Science of Cultivating Resilience by Michaela HaasThe Power of Resilience by Brooks and Goldstein The Good Life by Robert WaldingerClick here to order a copy of Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and Stress.Follow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

Each Enneagram personality type have their own superpowers--their ways and means of functioning in the world--that gets them through life, helps them to survive. But these very unconscious characteristics can also create their own versions of stress. They are patterns that we usually don't even fully understand. We also don't know how to break free of them and to make them more conscious, observable, and understandable. Today, we dive deep into what Fives, Sixes, and Sevens (the head types) do to survive and manage their way through life. We also look at the ways these patterns not only handle stress but also create their own stress. For each type, we also give you coaching tips and tools on how to specifically address these issues in your efforts to create a more sustainable relationship with stress, and with all of your relationships (including your relationship with yourself). Time Stamps:2:03--Why you should listen to all the types regardless of your type, and how you are "not" your type6:05--Fives: The Walls that Hold You Inside26:00-Sixes: Trusting Without Testing42:15--Sevens: A Little of This, A Little of That (a Lot)Check out our holiday offer: 20% off our Typing Package. Find out more at bigselfschool.com/enneagram-typing-package or schedule a call to discuss more. Click here to pre-order a discounted ebook copy of Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and Stress.Follow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

Each Enneagram personality type have their own superpowers--their ways and means of functioning in the world--that gets them through life, helps them to survive. But these very unconscious characteristics can also create their own versions of stress. They are patterns that we usually don't even fully understand. We also don't know how to break free of them and to make them more conscious, observable, and understandable. Today, we dive deep into what Twos, Threes, and Fours (the heart types) do to survive and manage their way through life. We also look at the ways these patterns not only handle stress but also create their own stress. For each type, we also give you coaching tips and tools on how to specifically address these issues in your efforts to create a more sustainable relationship with stress, and with all of your relationships (including your relationship with yourself). Time Stamps:3:32--The heart types and the central core operating emotion4:30--Twos: Deflating the Pride Balloon23:24--Threes: Who You Are When You're Not Succeeding34:18--Fours: Endless Comparing and IntrojectingCheck out our holiday offer: 20% off our Typing Package. Find out more at bigselfschool.com/enneagram-typing-package or schedule a call to discuss more. Click here to pre-order a discounted ebook copy of Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and Stress.Follow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

Each Enneagram personality type have their own superpowers--their ways and means of functioning in the world--that gets them through life, helps them to survive. But these very unconscious characteristics can also create their own versions of stress. They are patterns that we usually don't even fully understand. We also don't know how to break free of them and to make them more conscious, observable, and understandable. Today, we dive deep into what Eights, Nines, and Ones (the body types) do to survive and manage their way through life. We also look at the ways these patterns not only handle stress but also create their own stress. For each type, we also give you coaching tips and tools on how to specifically address these issues in your efforts to create a more sustainable relationship with stress, and with all of your relationships (including your relationship with yourself). Time Stamps:2:45--Why we're doing this series, and starting with the body types, and "why" the Enneagram15:30--Beginning with Eights: Too Much and Not Enough26:50--Common stressors for Eights34:50--Nines: Waking Up to What You Want46:52--Common stressors for Nines51:35--Ones: Good Enough Perfection53:00--When stress comes for OnesCheck out our holiday offer: 20% off our Typing Package. Find out more at bigselfschool.com/enneagram-typing-package or schedule a call to discuss more. Click here to pre-order a discounted ebook copy of Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and Stress.Follow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

For many of us, the inner voice is generally loving and encouraging, maybe not enthusiastic, but in your corner, calmly evaluating. In fact, a good internal dialog should function more like a reasonable judge. Or like Lester Bangs tells his young protege William Miller in Almost Famous: “I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful.”In other words, sometimes you need a good truth-telling even if it’s not what you want to hear.With that said, there is a reason we universally struggle with self-talk. Struggle implies conflict. And conflict with the self is what we call inner conflict. But the problem is twofold. Not only is it hard to do something about the way our inner critic talks to us, but a great deal of the time we’re not even aware we’re doing it.Why?&nbsp;Because it’s our default state. We’re used to the way we talk to ourselves. We’d almost never talk to our friends or family the way we sometimes may talk to ourselves. So why do we do it?Because our Inner Critic is fueled by the simultaneous belief that we are better than others and that we are less than others; both feelings are energized by harshness and contempt. Feeling that we’re not enough–especially at work—is painful.the consequences of not being aware of or tuning into what our Inner Critic is telling us can hurt us and hold us back in many of the most important areas of our lives. Time Stamps:4:39--The inflating and deflating of the Inner Critic7:15--The story of the two wolves inside us all11:11--Anne Lamott quote of being militantly on your own side14:42--Walking through a little thought exercise18:52--Shelley names her Inner Critic and gives it a persona25:38--There is a balancing we have to do, not just expect to completely get rid of the Inner Critic32:22--Take on the persona of the Inner Teacher34:27--The simple ABCDE frameworkShow Notes and Links:Brendon Burchard says that successful people use positive self-talk frequently.Pete Walker suggests memorizing your list of positive attributes and repeating them to yourself whenever you have an Inner Critic attack. Positive self-talk is part of the emotional healing process.Studies show that people who practice “self-compassion” are happier, more optimistic and less anxious and depressed.Follow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

Everybody procrastinates, but not everyone is a procrastinator. And contrary to popular belief, procrastinating has little to do with laziness. It’s far more complicated than simply being a matter of time management. Chronic procrastination doesn’t discriminate based on gender, race or age; we’re all susceptible.So, to provide a brief definition. Procrastination is the voluntary, unnecessary delay of an important task, despite knowing you’ll be worse off for doing so.And then here’s why it can actually be a pretty serious issue for a lot of people. Procrastination slows your goals and dreams way down. It can create stress and feelings of frustration. It can make time management useless. This often appears at work with day-to-day projects and tasks.&nbsp;Fortunately, it’s possible to learn how to overcome procrastination once we know why people procrastinate.Research has done a lot to help us understand procrastination psychology and why we continuously engage in this annoying behavior. We are going to take a look at the top reasons here, but first, let’s talk a little about our emotions and active vs. passive procrastination.Which type of procrastinator are you?Time Stamps:4:20--The positive procrastinator5:20--The other two types are passive procrastinators12:43--Getting to the four big reasons we all procrastinate20:00--Being "good enough"30:47--SAW FIRE is the name of our framework for overcoming procrastinatingFollow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

The futurist Alvin Toffler famously said, “The illiterate of the future are not those who can’t read or write but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”&nbsp;In their book Language and the Pursuit of Leadership Excellence, Chalmers Brothers and Vinay Kumar describe sixteen “enemies of learning.” They adopted them as first described by Julio Olalla, the noted coach, writer and teacher, and founder of The Newfield Network.These enemies include attitudes, assessments, and mindsets that, when firmly rooted, make learning or growth difficult.The traditional message that virtually everyone has been bombarded with since we were conscious enough to watch TV, listen to the radio or read advertisements, regardless of the field is that you the consumer are reinforced with the idea that if you have, you will do, and then be. HAVING leads to DOING leads to BEING.LEARNING = DOING (the thing even while you’re not good at it)LEARNING = Time + Practice (we get better by doing it again and again, cause and effect)You can also ratchet up the intensity and systematize it to the next level and add to your practice a rigor.&nbsp;All of which is to say learning about something is not the same as learning to DOOne of the more interesting things about the current difficult economic environment has been watching how different business leaders have reacted to it. Those who have done the best to secure their companies’ interests, protect their market positions, and retain their best people, have in my experience been those who immediately went into learning mode.&nbsp;Whether they look at the changes as an opportunity to learn new strategies for success, or simply to learn how to survive in the new environment, they have opened themselves and their organizations to learning. In doing so, they have discovered new possibilities for themselves and their companies.&nbsp;Time Stamps:2:16--The illiterate of the future are not those who can't read or write. But those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.4:22--Advertising is based on one thing11:31--Principle number one12:37--Deliberate practice15:59--Where are you being led in your life to be experiencing learning outside your comfort zone?16:46--Number one, our inability to admit that we don't know.20:09--The antidote21:54--Number two, confusing information with real knowing.23:31--The antidote24:13--A lack of priority for learning (never have time)25:50--The antidote26:22--Lack of trust30:00--The antidote32:07--Ignoring the emotional dimension of learning35:00--Ignoring the body as a dimension of learning39:00--The final enemy of learning on today's list, constantly having big opinions and assessmentsShow Notes and Links:Language and the Pursuit of Leadership Excellence by Chalmers Brothers and Vinay KumarThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkFollow up with us and check out our <a...

The idea of this episode came out of a recent media sensation from a study done in Florida, and it showed some gentle shifts in the personalities of the 7,000 people it studied.&nbsp;The headlines are all over the place.&nbsp;(Links provided in our show notes and links.)On today’s episode we break down the latest findings, if they even matter for our understanding of personality, and why we want you to get a little clearer on what all this chatter is about when it comes to our personalities.First of all, let's define our terms: What do we mean by personality? What does the media mean? And also, besides the media attention and the fact that we do work on understanding our personalities, how is this a relevant topic for the Big Self Podcast?&nbsp;Time Stamps:2:41--Why is this topic relevant?5:52--The importance of social skills as researched for the past 100 years10:10--We need help in understanding ourselves14:45--The idea of falling asleep to ourselves21:15--Why researchers narrow it down to five criteria only21:50--The Five mainstays of personality research27:07--At higher levels of awareness people start to look alike?Show notes and links:https://www.cnn.com/2022/09/28/health/personality-change-covid-wellness/index.htmlhttps://www.themarginalian.org/2012/03/02/character-personality/?fbclid=IwAR32i3sOmxn5Nylttzrs0qAfxjyRzBJpxYYQILGkCs1NID7-4o3wvQl455Yhttps://www.livescience.com/personality-age-change.htmlhttps://psychcentral.com/health/personality-development#personality-disordershttps://www.apa.org/pubs/highlights/podcasts/episode-30https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/people-unexplained/202202/will-your-personality-change-in-the-next-6-yearsThe Benefits of Not Being a Jerk to Yourself (Dan Harris Ted Talk)Subscribe on Spotify Subscribe on Apple iTunesFollow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.

We have put “play” as one of our Big Self pillars from the very beginning, but I don’t think we’ve done a single episode on it. We do talk about creativity and gratitude. But that’s not quite the same thing.For one thing, it’s hard to really define what we even mean by play.In fact it’s so elusive to really define for adults, even after I had decided we definitely need to do an episode on play, I started wondering if this is really something our audience needs or wants. We’re talking about serious stuff on this podcast, stuff that is going to help people in their pain, in their crisis’. And then we realized, that experience is the very process we undergo for YEARS as we transition into adulthood.Important for us or not, play can feel silly, certainly unproductive, and time consuming.&nbsp;And that’s precisely the point. On today’s episode we are going to do the impossible: we are going to seriously persuade you to PLAY.This better be fun.Time Stamps:3:04--Let me ask you a question about play6:28--Great questions, but how are defining play?10:59--There's a lot of variability in the definition of play13:12--There are "four different styles of play"21:30--In which Shelley geeks out on the parasympathetic nervous system29:24--Quote by Jean Piaget33:32--3 suggestions for playShow Notes and Links:American Journal of PlayPlay by Stuart Brown, MDWell Played: The Ultimate Guide to Awakening Your Family’s Playful Spirit by Meredith SinclairNational Institute for PlayA list of research on playStuart Brown’s TED talk on playScott Eberle’s blog “Play in Mind”Play definitionStudy: “A new structural model for the study of adult playfulness: Assessment and exploration of an understudied individual differences variable”Study: The Playful Advantage: How Playfulness Enhances Coping with StressStudy: The well-being of playful adults: Adult playfulness, subjective well-being, physical well-being, and the pursuit of enjoyable activitiesSubscribe on Apple iTunes<a...

"I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor."&nbsp; –ThoreauSome of us are dabblers, some of us are obsessives, and some of us are hackers. Which one are you?They’re basically just different approaches many people take to learning. The dabbler loves when things are new. Just loves the shiny new object and everything about starting something. The obsessive is focused on getting results as fast as possible. The hacker gets good enough at something and is fine where she or he is.Don’t really like any of the options? Is there a better way?We probably all can recognize ourselves in a combination of these learning styles. And yes there is a problem with them all: we never get on the road to mastery with them. They aren’t the stuff of lifelong learning.&nbsp;Let's get on the path of a master.&nbsp;Certainly when we are patient and stick with our learning day in and day out, we are definitely more on the path. But with all of that said, many of us begin to experience change and then we hit the plateau. That long period of time where we’re sticking with it, pushing hard, staying strong…and nothing happens.Or we begin to experience change and then we run into resistance.AND we might begin to think this shiny new object or all this efforting isn’t worth it and we criticize ourselves for even trying. We even begin to use language which reveals our negative thinking and the stories we tell ourselves, and we think we’re “just being real” and give up.How part of what’s going on when we regress or retract is about the body's response to stress. Change? Homeostasis is first to be understood. Then, you can be prepared to meet it and learn the long path toward deep mastery.Time Stamps: 3:18--Changing anything can be difficult5:14--The link between change and stress is novelty9:13--Homeostasis defined15:38--Top five ideas for how you can achieve sustainable change16:43--Number one may be the most important, understanding how it works19:39--As you adapt the resistance gets easier to deal with26:05--When you're negotiating with your resistance27:55--You can do it alone, but a support system is recommended30:22--Follow a regular practice32:52--Dedicate yourself to lifelong learning34:49--Shelley's "Why"Show Notes:Steven Pressfield on anything having to do with ResistanceMastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment by George LeonardHomo Ludens: A Study of the Play Element in Culture&nbsp; by Johan HuizingaAfter the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Jack KornfieldFollow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.<a...

To say our culture prizes the “outer” (whether it’s outer work or the apparent “outer reality”) is an understatement.And by contrast, you hear a lot of leaders and coaches and people who have learned through trial and tribulation that you have to do the “inner work” first.&nbsp;But what is inner work, and how is it different from what we do at work every day?Many people already have commendable achievements in the ‘outer work’ aspect of their life. By this, I mean growing in their careers, managing a business, or having meaningful relationships. But ‘outer work’ is a small part of who we are as people.&nbsp;As a society, we’re fixated on outer work. We count the number of followers we have on social media or use the money in our life or the degrees that we have ALL as representative of who we are.&nbsp;These elements have little to do with our inner worlds. In fact, we may not even know what our inner world looks like at all. Maybe it’s barren and empty. Maybe it’s cluttered and full of infinite distractions.&nbsp;So, for all the power and depth and breadth of the inner work, why do we tend to avoid it? Why does it not seem to have a seat at the table in many corporations and organizations?We share our definitions of what "inner work" means, and discuss the dimensions it entails for our cognition, the language that we use, our emotions, and our bodies.Time Stamps:1:46--What we're discussing today3:32--We tend to overemphasize the results (the outer)6:55--Messy to try and come up with how you measure inner work, but one way is to measure it by the way it leads to outer results11:20--Three inner work definitions. Which one is the best? You decide.12:38--Chad's personal experience and definition with what he calls spiritual13:44--Shelley's similar experiences18:18--The incredible insights that listening to your language brings22:50--What's that about? a good operating question26:10--Emotional and mental work are similar30:55--The body center33:46--The body is the portalFollow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

When I first started thinking about how powerful sadness is an entry point–as a huge territory–for growth, I immediately was like, “this would never make a podcast.”I can see it now: People clicking on the headline wanting to learn more about how they too can be sad. Doesn’t have quite the marketing hook of “how to be happier by thinking positively.”But in a way, that’s just the point. Sadness is the very inversion of happiness. We’ve been inundated by “happiness” and the power of positive thinking for at least 70 years, and I feel like last decade in the 2010s we saw a real resurgence of it (whatever that was about, it seems like it was related to the explosion of neuroscience research).&nbsp;And for some happiness researchers, like Jennifer Moss, who we had on the podcast last season, she began to turn her attention to asking questions about “what is keeping us from this elusive happiness” and she began looking into the burnout culture and the toxicity in the workplace.&nbsp;Plenty of stress happens there!And really all kinds of emotions, right?&nbsp;But the point I’m trying to make here is that as I began to explore this space, I began to see a HUGE territory for us to explore with sadness.&nbsp;The kind of sadness we’re talking about today is not about grief or depression. Those are different territories. No matter what, of course, you don’t want to get stuck anywhere. We are not talking about “staying” in sadness. We ARE talking about letting it in.That’s right. We are talking about the places in your life, whatever your personality structure may be, where sadness is knocking. Time Stamps:2:30--Sadness isn't something that we need to manufacture4:21--What is your relationship to sadness? Shelley asks Chad10:55--What other happiness studies showed (and how it's not so simple)13:07--The Wheel of Emotions18:55--Do you think of sadness as a negative emotion? Chad asks Shelley24:16--Sadness is an important emotion that helps everyone in numerous ways27:14--Sadness plus shame equals depression31:03--Shame has this tendency to keep us stuck38:20--Sadness connects to awareness in general42:00--Typically emotions last for 15 to 30 seconds (unless you feed it a story)44:30--We would love to hear how this lands this episode lands for peopleShow Notes and Links:Greater Good on Four Ways Sadness May be Good for YouPsychology Today on Why Its Good to Feel SadHarper Bazaar on Why Its Good for You to Be SadFollow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

Habits will make or break us. Habits will deliver results one way or the other. Our focus doesn’t just come from getting out our calendars and setting proper weekly and daily goals. It doesn’t emerge from understanding&nbsp;the 80/20 rule.It comes from the application of principles that elude us because they come from within. What comes from within is less measurable, and often less clear at first. For that matter, it’s scary going within. There are reasons we’ve pushed things into our unconscious. The key here is the application.Because our habits are the actions we repeat again and again and again, they reveal our character.&nbsp;You find it in all the ancient greats. Ask Seneca. Consult Marcus Aurelius. Reason through, in this case, Aristotle’s ethics. You could say you can know who you are through your habits because habits also reveal another aspect of ourselves, they reveal our values.On this week's episode, Chad connects the inner to the outer when it comes to living out your values. What is the Habit Paradox? How do you turn your thoughts and values into sustained action?Time Stamps:0:31--The idea of applying practical wisdom, to form enduring change3:22--Contrary to popular belief, willpower is in the body AND mind, but requires energy and isn't enough alone to form a habit6:30--Our habits and what they reveal10:31--The way the habit paradox develops16:28--Why do you know what to do but don't do it?21:13--Why Aristotle would have called you practically wise if you are able to live out what you value23:11--Unpacking Aristotle's statement about how the person who has mastered their emotions will ever go back or slip into Akrashia27:09--Naming the "When"29:43--Finally answering the "Why"Show Notes and Links:Aristotle's EthicsThe Science of WillpowerFollow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

Today’s episode is focused on visualization and specifically we put on our critical thinking hats and consider how it plays into the Law of Attraction. This law can be easily misunderstood. So, we are going to explore what it really means, how it can be harnessed and why it truly is powerful when applied with discipline, and also what it is NOT.&nbsp;What we focus on, we attract. The Law Of Attraction goes way beyond just 'visualizing' or 'vision boarding' our dreams. What we're ultimately doing is feeling and tuning into our vision of how we want things to be. We discuss not only how you conduct visualization, but also how you must do so with discipline, the same way anyone trains any other part of their body.This episode is chock full of fascinating nuggets about the brain, supported by science and evidence-based research, AND with specific takeaways that you can take with you wherever you happen to be listening.Time Stamps:1:10--The law of attraction, what it is and how it's had some twisted iterations over the years7:13--The question for our audience today8:50--When Shelley first started getting intentional about visualizing in 201014:09--One of the enemies of learning: daring to dream17:17--Setting the intention25:19--Matthew Ricard, the molecular biologist who became a Buddhist monk28:43--How you've got to train your brain32:36--Visualization connects to RAS (Reticular Activating System)37:40--Not like magic, it takes energizing your life in a certain direction45:30--Start with small things and then go to bigFollow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.Subscribe on Spotify

If you’re like a lot of people, you don’t really care about the health effects of drinking, and frankly you probably don’t care to know. But the fact is that most of us have been drinking more than we want to for a long time.&nbsp;And a lot of the time when we do this it also fills us with guilt, maybe even shame. Or to bring this full circle, maybe you really don’t think about it and don’t want to think about it.&nbsp;But if you’re honest, really honest, like we chose to get honest with ourselves finally–you probably don’t feel entirely in control of your ability to choose whether or not you actually drink.&nbsp;We are not here to evangelize. But we are here to share a couple of things. First, as coaches, we fully recognize that we have to be doing the very work that we are coaching others in. If we are helping others free themselves from mindless habits and envisioning the life they want, we have to have done the work ourselves. Perhaps even more importantly for you, we want you to see–to have the insight or recognition–that you are in control of you. You can shift your thinking and experience transformation unlike what you ever thought might be possible.&nbsp;It doesn’t matter what your friends will say or think. It doesn’t matter what your spouse will say or think. It does matter what you believe and what you think. And this topic, like any other, is about beliefs, both conscious and unconscious. It is about the power of these beliefs and how they shape our thinking, and therefore our actions.&nbsp;The aim of this episode is NOT to offer you tips. Tips are a dime a dozen whether they’re good ones or bad. What is more difficult to come by are workable ways to apply tips, to replace one behavior pattern with another. When you learn how to change a habit, it is usually not too hard to decide which ones to change.&nbsp;Let’s dive in!Time Stamps:2:30--Maybe you're just a little curious about evaluating your relationship to alcohol.6:14--We want you to have the recognition that you have the control over your thinking and what you want to do, and this is about shifting your thinking, not tips.9:50--How alcohol dependency became like a slow burn, just this habit that formed over time.15:24--When the shift happened for Shelley early on this year.21:40--How you can self-assess where you are right now and thinking of the desire behind the habit, or is it the habit behind the desire?24:01--Chad tells his story of his relationship with alcohol.29:10--Chad's approach is a little different than Shelley's.29:48--Quote by Dostoevsky about habits in the second half of life.32:15--How the habit may start first.37:31--If you want to start taking it to the next level and other ideas.40:20--The final takeaway. Show note links for further inquiry:This Naked MindNew genetic study confirms that alcohol is a direct cause of cancerA ‘factory reset’ for the brain cures anxiety, drinking behaviorWhat sudden insights look like inside the brainFollow up with us and check out our Burnout Coaching Package here.<a...