Hole in My Heart Podcast

{Week 10 Core Need is the need for purpose: filled with a sense of profoundly mattering.} Unless we are feeling severely depressed, every human intrinsically feels this need to matter, to have purpose, and to make a mark on the world. Sometimes, this purpose-need gets redirected from receiving our marching orders from Jesus to staring at marriage: It will complete me. Let's bust that whole thing apart with "Breaking the Marriage Idol" author, ​Kutter Callaway. We also explore your responses to what you grew up with as a paradigm for marriage (was singleness an option?), dig into the need to intentionally place women in positions of influence, and try to affirm our working theory that we are attracted to spouses and friends who are opposite to us when it comes to loving or loathing jigsaw puzzles. You're welcome. //: Highlights: "Let's get rid of ... romance altogether. What are we left with? We are left with these amazing things that we should all be committed to: The welfare of widows and orphans, [and a commitment] to the welfare beyond simply the spouse that I am marrying . . . This is the family that God has called us into: A radically extended and open-armed family--not this sort of closed dyad we get if we start with that myth of romantic love."--Kutter Callaway "I don't think anyone is walking around with a generic, abstract 'call' to marriage or singleness ... To walk into [life with a] Bachelor or Bachelorette vision where, 'I am just going to be with someone at the end of this. It doesn't really matter who the 25 people are--it's just survival of the fittest. You are the winner for my marriage calling!" That is the idol." --Kutter Callaway //: Do the Next Thing: Read the book we explore today called Breaking the Marriage Idol by Kutter Callaway Those new books released this week? Find Deep Focus (Engaging Culture) here, and The Aesthetics of Atheism: Theology and Imagination in Contemporary Culture here. Follow Kutter on Twitter [Our outtakes with the high-pitch voiceover of Jesus comes from these ancient videos. They are worth a watch.] For More.

{Week 9 Core Need is the need to be unique: delightfully special.} We've explored the need to be included (belong), but how does that interplay with our good need to be unique? We talk through this balance with foster and adoptive parents, Brett and Janelle Beimers. Their decision to adopt and foster models Christ's desire for radical inclusion (belonging), but they still need to cultivate each of their children's unique sense of self. How do they do that? What are the challenges to engaging both needs simultaneously--while also balancing the unique path of foster and adoptive life? We explore these questions with them while, of course, playing a unique game and talking about our (and your, dear listeners) trademark things that make us feel like ourselves. //: Highlights: "One of our family themes or mottos has been, 'When God is generous to you or blesses you, build a longer table--not a bigger wall.'" --Brett Beimers "You have the space, you see the need, and then you get the call... There are many many reasons to say ‘no’ [to a child], but there are also many many reasons to say 'yes.'" --Janelle Beimers //: Do the Next Thing: Check out the Jason Johnson Blog Check out these websites: On adoption and foster care: Michigan's Adoption Resource Exchange and Empowered to Connect On child trauma: ChildTrauma Academy If you want to asked Janelle or Brett questions about their foster/adoption journeys, read out to us at [email protected] and we will connect you! For More.

How can we lovingly engage a world that opposes what we believe? What is Laurie's ongoing practice to engage pushback? One word: Lament. Laurie Krieg will walk you through the why's and how to's of what should be every Christian's ongoing practice of "venting to the only One who can do something about your pain."

{Week 8 Core Need is the need to be safe: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control.} Many of us struggle with anxiety and fear. (Most of us? All of us?) We could shame ourselves. ("Why am I still wrestling with this!? I should know I'm safe!") But instead of shaming ourselves, why don't we look below the fear to the good need driving that fear: the need to be safe? We unpack this good need to be safe with author and award-winning musician, Michael Card. Through the lens of safety, we explore God's character--His inexpressible hesed or lovingkindness and His invitation to rail on His chest in lament. //: Highlights: "This is the same God who spoke the universe into existence, who laid the foundations of the earth, [and] who created the stars and named each one of them. That same God invites me to exhaust myself against him when I'm confused or angry--even at him." --Michael Card "Hesed is when the person from whom I have a right to expect nothing gives me everything--not a second chance, more chances than you can possibly imagine." --Michael Card "Because God is a god of lovingkindness [hesed] I am safe to say... anything... Nowhere in Scripture does God say, 'How dare you talk to me like that.'" --Michael Card "Worship comes from the Old English worth-ship. To worship God is to celebrate his worth. You don't discover his worth at a picnic on a green lawn. You discover his worth when you're hungry and you need manna. You discover his worth in the wilderness." --Michael Card //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Sacred Sorrow: Reaching out to God in the Lost Language of Lament Check out Inexpressible: Hesed and the Mystery of God's Lovingkindness Check out Michael's website here Follow Michael on Facebook and Instagram For More

{Week 7 Core Need is the need to be seen: Noticed inside and out.} This episode has two gripping stories: One is of a pastor named John Wilson who, at a young age, recognized his attractions to his same gender. Burying the secret led him to hospitalization due to the chronic stress. Slowly, carefully, he came out to trusted friends, and found some freedom as he daily surrendered himself to Christ. But then he moved far away, started working in a church, and the secret threatened to bury him again in shame. He needed to come out again, but the person with whom he most needed to share was both his pastor and his boss. What would he say? Would he lose his job? Would this pastor/boss see him and love him as God does? Enter the second story of John's boss and lead pastor, Jeff Maness: Years before this conversation with John, God had begun to prepare Jeff's heart and his mind to receive John's story. Had God not set the stage, Jeff said he would have fired John after he came forward with his attractions toward men--even though John was surrendering his version of broken sexuality to the Lordship of Christ every day (as we are all called to do). How did God radically change Jeff's heart? How did John find the courage to share? How did the entire church practically engage this conversation as a result? Listen and find yourself at the foot of the cross with us in awe of the gospel's good news for everyone every day. P.S. Today's after-show bloopers? Matt accidentally got slipped into live Christian radio to thousands of people while we did a mic check--and during this mic check he pretended to be an NPR host. (Shake our red-faced heads.) //: Highlights: "That fear of coming out was powerful, but it was not as powerful as the pain of being hidden." --John Wilson "He didn't pull any punches... 'I'm gay' [he said.] Four years ago? I probably would have fired him on the spot just thinking that by him saying, 'I'm gay' he meant, 'I'm pursuing gay sex or a same sex romantic relationship.' But praise God instead of assuming--because God had done so much work in my heart--I learned to actually ask questions." --Jeff Maness "In the 15 months since I told Pastor Jeff and brought this piece of myself into the light, the darkness and the mold and the sin and the dankness that was around has gone away . . . I have experienced such an increased amount of holiness and sanctification in my life because of the ability to be seen. I have legitimate accountability now because I can be honest with people." --John Wilson "This has held a mirror up to our whole congregation--a mirror that needs to be held up to the big "C" Church. Have we lost people? Yes, we have lost a few. ... [But] we are going to stand on what we believe is the truth, we are going to offer what we believe is the radical grace of Jesus, and we are going to present to everyone this gospel message of all of us are called to die. And if that means we have some death in the process ourselves? Then that is the cost for us in this . . . It's time. It's time for the Church to speak into this boldly." --Jeff Maness //: Do the Next Thing: To watch John's sermon where he came out and shared his story with his church look here To watch my sermon that followed his (following my story and the woman caught in adultery), look here To read Preston Sprinkle's book, People to be Loved, mentioned by Pastor Jess, look here To read Greg Cole's book mentioned by both Pastors Jeff and John, click here To connect with Pastor Jeff, find his site here To connect with Pastor John, find his information here For more

{Week 6 Core Need is the need to be included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership; belonging} It seems as if the good need God put into us before the Fall to belong or be included goes hand-in-hand with authenticity. To belong--truly belong--we must be willing to get real. But how many of us feel we are scoring 100% at the relational authenticity level? Social media tells us we have hundreds or thousands of friends, but do we really belong? This is what our guest, Ethan Renoe, calls the "new lonely," and he wrote a book with the same title: The New Lonely: Intimacy in the Age of Isolation. Ethan and the guys (Laurie is out sick!) explore how we try to solve our loneliness problem through wanderlust, pornography, and Ethan's viral, overnight fame. (Do you remember the video of the guy running shirtless in the rain?) The guys also play a Goofball Island game where they have to insert the moral of the story into some classic youth group entertainment. ​ Thanks for hanging out with us--it helps take off some of the edge of universal problem of loneliness. //: Highlights: ​"I realized I was in a really unhealthy pattern where I would show up to a place and I'd be this really mysterious, cool, traveler guy, and before anyone could get to know me, I would leave." --Ethan Renoe "Lonely people will often try to get rid of the loneliness by drowning it out. It's still going to be there when you're alone and it's quiet." --Ethan Renoe "I realized that I was trying to pour from an empty cup. I was filling that void with false digital relationships with women on the internet. There was moment where I realized I can be real with people. I can say when I have a bad day, when I'm feeling excluded, and people can respond to how I'm feeling . . . People can get to know the real me." --Ethan Renoe //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Ethan's site and his books! Two of Ethan's posts he mentions are "Are Men Starving for Physical Touch?" and "The Epidemic of Male Loneliness." Find Ethan Renoe on the IG For more

{Week 5 Core Need is the need for love: Unconditionally accepted} All you need is love. It's a nice song, but what about the actual experience of love? How can we feel it deeply before we see Jesus face-to-face? Author and speaker, Jennifer Kennedy Dean, guides us to a deeper experience of God's love that is not tethered to our circumstances (death of siblings, death of spouses, or a deep wrestling with the reality of prayer), but is richly intertwined to the alive and active Holy Spirit in us. ​ We also play a game called, "Love Song or Worship Song?" and somehow learn a deep lesson based on how goofy we look while dolphin watching. //: Highlights: "You are never going to be able to get love in the way exactly that you want to, but you can give love. When you give love not for the purpose of making someone love you, but for the purpose of expressing the Jesus who lives in you, you are going to find that fulfilling." --Jennifer Kennedy Dean ​ "Prayer is more than sandwiching words between, 'Dear God' and 'Amen.' There is a whole aspect of prayer that is going on directly from your heart to God's that might not even have words on it yet." --Jennifer Kennedy Dean //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Jennifer's site and her bestselling books For more

{Week 4 Core Need is the need for rest: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun} Why is it that it seems whoever is the busiest is winning at life? If you are stressed, busy, but magically not anxious, you hold a higher status? We talk about this with Adam Mabry, whose wife laughed at him when he told her he was asked to write a book on rest. This pastor, teacher, and author of the book, "The Art of Rest: Faith to Hit Pause in a World that Never Stops," was able to write the book after experiencing what it was like to live a life without rest, and watching it lead to total breakdown. We explore this story, practical ways to combat the "I'm better because I'm busier" game, and why being a pastor who exegetes Romans while on a unicorn might be the best way to do church. ;) //: Highlights: "I broke. I have this vivid memory of it being 1 or 2 in the morning, and I am painting baseboards, crying, cursing, angry, praying mess, and that was the beginning of, 'Hm, I don’t think I can achieve my way out of this.' I hit the dark pretty hard for six or nine months. The practice of rest was acknowledging that there is a God in heaven and a sovereign ruler of the universe, and His name is not my name.” --Adam Mabry "As an achiever, Jesus achieved par excellence . . . In three years he achieved redemption of the cosmos. In three years I barely got a Master's degree . . . [Jesus] got a lot done and did it more restfully than most of us." --Adam Mabry "If the Church of Jesus Christ is made up of anxiety-driven, restless people, it doesn’t say a lot about a gospel of grace that is very good." --Adam Mabry //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Adam on his site here Also, Adam's most recent book can be found on Amazon here Want to know more about his church? Click here to check it out! We mention how watching TV doesn't really rest you. An article on that is here. For more

{Week 3 Core Need is the need to be affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of.} Do you ever wrestle with knowing God wants you to share the gifts He gave you with the world, but not knowing how much you should "market" yourself? Shouldn't the Holy Spirit just do that for us? We do wrestle with this, so we brought in bestselling author and speaker, Shannon Popkin, who co-wrote the book, Influence: Building a Platform to Elevates Jesus (Not Me). We explore this conversation in the context of the Core Need to be affirmed. How do we allow God to affirm us while navigating the murky waters of speaking the message He gave us? Put on your lifejackets because we are going to dive in. We also play another ridiculous game called "Spin This" (where Steve, Matt, and Shannon have to affirm everyone from Winnie the Pooh to Han Solo). Thanks for playing and hanging with us. //: Highlights: "There is such a connection between my message and me that it's really hard not to get 'my message' caught up in it being 'all about me.'" --Shannon Popkin "We are positioned there in this elevated state not so people can say, 'Look at me!' . . . We are positioned there to serve." --Shannon Popkin //: Do the Next Thing: Read Shannon's book here One of our favorite articles of Shannon's is, "Five Control Girl Mom Tactics to Stop Using" Check out Shannon on her website! Follow here on social media: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! [Also, we mention early on about Matt's extreme makeover with Kelli ODell. That episode is here.] For more

{Week 2 Core Need is the need to be desired: Specially chosen--no pretense necessary.} The idea of mixed-orientation marriages (where one spouse is straight and the other is not) can make people scratch their heads saying, "How does that work?" Today, through the lens of the Core Need to be desired, mixed-orientation couple, Ty and Rachel Wyss, get real about their marriage, their need to be desired, and leave us--married and single--with wise, God-given wisdom to walk well. This is another sacred story you don't want to miss. The group also talks how we can express needs without being "needy," Love Languages (with feedback from you all!), and, as always, how the gospel was and is good news. Thanks for joining us! //: Highlights: "The need to be desired manifested for me . . . in the desire to be somebody's best friend, somebody's everything, somebody's first choice." --Rachel Wyss "Wanting my wife or wanting my friends to desire me--it's so easy to attach the word 'needy' to it . . . When I realize I'm feeling shame for a need, I remember God has wired it into me. If He has wired it into me, then I get to start blessing that need." --Ty Wyss //: Do the Next Thing: Find More

{Week 1 Core Need is the need to be nurtured: Cared for; held.} It's time to dive deeply into Core Needs. What are they? They are good needs God put into us for things like belonging, purpose, affirmation, and to be seen and desired. The Fall threw a wrench in our once-natural ability to get them perfectly met by God and supported by people, however, and now we have natural inclinations to get these good needs met in ways that don't satisfy us and don't glorify God. (That natural inclination is known as our sin nature.) Our default is now idolatry. Eden Invitation co-founders, Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa, launch our 10-week series on Core Needs by talking about the need for nurture. These ministry leaders guide us beautifully through wrestling with how we see nurture develop throughout our life, and how we can look to our friends to support this nurture need without slipping into co-dependence. We also talk tattoos, donuts, and "getting in the freaking car" for a worship sesh. Join us on a journey of the soul. //: Highlights: "One of my continual lessons is spiritual childhood: As we age, nurture looks differently. But I am always a child of my heavenly Father." --Anna Carter “At the end of the day it’s an invitation: To love and be loved . . . There’s not a sense of dependence or your friends completing you, but we must be comfortable in naming it: 'In order for me to lean into the Lord more easily, I want to invite you to walk with me.’” --Shannon Ochoa “By confessing to another person my own need, my own vulnerability, and my own woundedness, I am providing them with an opportunity to help me live the Christian life. I am providing them an opportunity to be a disciples—to imitate Jesus.”--Anna Carter //: Do the Next Thing: Take a look at Anna and Shannon's Eden Invitation website here and some of their favorite resources here! Find More

Author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Christopher Yuan, brings his authentic self and expertise to the podcast microphone today. In addition to hearing his story, we explore our favorite names of God (with you listeners), expand on the reasons why it is beneficial to the church that there are more conversations around sexuality and gender in the world, and explore the questions, "Is God gender fluid?" "Why don't you identify as gay?" and "How do you confront the lonely life?" It's another real life conversation on the HIMH Podcast. //: Highlights: "We talk about the world having safe spaces. I wonder: Should not the church be the safest place in the world? Are we safe? I think we have a lot of ways to grow and learn. But, we don't just want to be safe. We want to be safe and redemptive." --Christopher Yuan "I looked and I studied for friendship [in the Bible], and I didn't find much, unfortunately . . . David and Jonathan are never called friends once. But they are called brothers."--Christopher Yuan "We really need to begin living as the church. As family. Yes, we have our blood relatives, but honestly? That is temporary. Marriage is temporary. The only true eternal relationship that we will carry on to heaven are those bound by the blood of Christ." --Christopher Yuan //: Do the Next Thing: Get his latest book, Holy Sexuality and the Gospel Follow on Twitter and Facebook Check out Dr. Christopher Yuan's website For More

Failure makes you feel like . . . a failure. Should it? Should we celebrate some failures instead? Today we talk to Chad Bird, speaker, podcaster, and author of Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life. We will cover seven of those nine "essential failures." Three of which are: 1. The failure to believe in ourselves or, "The good news that God doesn’t believe in you" 2. The failure to follow our hearts or "Go home heart, you’re drunk" 3. The failure to find our soulmate or "Love will not sustain your marriage" We also continue a bit of the shame talk (hearing from you listeners!), and play a Bible trivia game utilizing Matt Krieg's Bible trivia book from the 90s and the minds of all the nerds on the podcast. Chad is real and really helpful. You're welcome to join us at the table. //: Highlights: "God is a beatitude kind of God. He calls something 'blessed' that the world would often call 'cursed.'" --Chad Bird "Its no wonder if the kids wonder if God hates them, because a lot of what we experience in life make us feel like there is somebody above us, and we are on his hit list . . . The more we can focus God's love for us and everything that entails, that's really what the kids and the adults need to hear over and over." --Chad Bird "The more time we spend being formed but the Jerusalem of the church, the safer we will be in the Babylon of the world."--Chad Bird //: Do the Next Thing: Follow Chad on Twitter and Facebook Read his book, Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Christian Life Check out his great website For More

"I think I am afraid of being in *God’s* presence. The thing is I am afraid to be in *my* presence. I am afraid to look at and have God see me as I see me . . . I am sure that when I look up again He will have left the rom. And shockingly, He does not." --Curt Thompson, M.D. Let's dive right back into the shame conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, and explore how shame began and how we can practically combat it. //: Highlights: "God—even in His pursuit—He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me."—Curt Thompson "The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It’s a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world." —Curt Thompson //: Do the Next Thing: Read Curt's book here Check out his organization here For More

Shame affects all of us--even if we don't know how to name it. It often drapes us in a vague feeling of being covered in a wet blanket. It speaks, "I am worth less. I must hide. There is something wrong with me." How can we address it neurologically, spiritually, and practically? We brought in the big guns to answer all three shame categories today: Dr. Curt Thompson, MD, author of one of our favorite books, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves. This and next week's conversation are not ones to miss. They impacted us all deeply. //: Highlights: "The gospel--if it is good news--does not begin with 'I am more sinful than I believe.' It begins, in fact, with 'I am more loved than I can imagine.' It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D. ​ "It is not difficult for us to register [shame] in catastrophic events (bullying, sexual and physical abuse, or some kind of public humiliation). The thing is, as far as our real life is concerned, the vast majority of how these [shame] events actually occur is in the privacy of our own minds. It is the dozens of times when we say to ourselves 'I should have done this. I should have done that. I'm not good enough at this. I'm not good enough at that.' . . . It's these micro-moments that turn into a death of a thousand cuts." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D. //: Do the Next Thing: Read Curt's book here Check out his organization here For More

Peek between the cracks of the podcast to hear updates on our words for the year ("Do you feel like God gave you that word?"), look forward to our words for 2019, and hear us encourage each other unplanned. As we reflect on this year of pain and growth, we may even shed a couple tears between our laughs. (Of course we do. :) ) We love you, guys. Thanks for being a major joyful part of our year.

It's almost the new year, and many of us are thinking about doing something to jumpstart positive choices next year. But what about today? Sharon Garlough Brown, author of the Sensible Shoes series, walks (ha) us through the basics and depth of spiritual disciplines. We cover things like, "Are spiritual disciplines for the hyper-spiritual, Enneagram 4, flower children?" "Does lament have to be so depressing?" and "What can we do today--what one step can we take?" We also play a pretty hilarious game of "Finish that Christmas Carol." We'd love for you to join us. //: Highlights: "That’s what lament is: It’s crawling up into the lap of God, saying the hard things, and knowing that God holds us in those things.” --Sharon Garlough Brown "A spiritual discipline is a grace discipline. I don’t have the power to make myself more like Jesus, but I can practice things that will help me be more attentive . . . and responsive to His call.” --Sharon Garlough Brown //: Do the Next Thing: For More

At HIMH we sometimes call ourselves "gospel addicts," but what is an addict? Author, psychologist, and addiction expert, Dr. Gregory Jantz, breaks down some of the attributes and questions we may have for ourselves or our friends on how to take steps away from the following addictions: ​ Alcohol Food (eating too much or little) Work Sex/pornography Relationships TV/Netflix Social Media Because we can't help ourselves, we dive into the Die Hard debate (Christmas movie or nah?), and play a game called, "Top Toy or Misfit?" (Players have to guess which toy is a top seller this year, and which one was dubbed a danger.) Come play and learn with us. //: Highlights: "A relapse handled properly is all about recovery--because we are learning from it." --Dr. Gregory Jantz "[We must look in the] mirror and say, 'If I keep doing this, what is going to happen to me? What is going to happen to those I love?" --Dr. Gregory Jantz //: Do the Next Thing: Learn more about Dr. Gregory Jantz here Find his book, Healing the Scars of Addiction, here Take the CAGE questionnaire here Follow on Twitter For More

Fruit of knowing the Good News is believing that God loves kids. He cares about their souls, he cares about their spirits, and he cares about their bodies. That is the focus of this episode: How can we protect our children, our nieces and nephews, and our friends' kids from childhood sexual abuse? How can we do it in a way that is not "shamey"? We explore it today with experts and authors of the important kids' book, 'God Made All of Me,' Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. (We also play a silly "Is this a Hallmark Movie or a Shmallmark Movie" game, and it turns out they are experts there, too.) //: Highlights: "We need to start talking young because 1 out of 5 kids will be victims of childhood sexual abuse before their 18th birthday."--Justin Holcomb "[If you talk about body protection with kids] it builds a trust so that if something happens, if they are exposed to something . . . they are going know, 'Mom and Dad know about this. They talked to me about this. They are safe and understand this.'" --Lindsey Holcomb "We are all about swimming safety, bicycle safety, wearing your helmet, getting in your your car seat, and wearing your seat belt. Add this to that: This is body safety. This is prevention and awareness. Lump it into that category, and feel empowered in your role as their advocate." --Lindsey Holcomb //: Do the Next Thing: Get the book here Visit their website here Follow on Justin and Lindsey on Twitter Check them out on Facebook For More

Let's take it back to the basics and then broaden to the more complex: What does LGBTQIA mean (and why doesn't the term "homosexuals" cover it)? Where can parents take their mix of emotions when their kid comes out? Is there even a right and wrong when it comes to the gender conversation? We are tackling some big and basic questions related to pastors, parents, and therapists today, and who better to navigate with us than Christian expert in the field, Dr. Mark Yarhouse? Mark is Professor of Psychology at Regent University in Virginia Beach, and has published over 80 peer-reviewed journal articles and very helpful books in including, Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture. Ready? Let's go. //: Highlights: ​"What happens in ministries and what happens in families is we overreact to what's above the surface . . . rather than minister to what's beneath." ---Dr. Mark Yarhouse "A lot of times youth ministers will say, 'It's not my experience, so how can I be a trail guide?' You don't have to be Bear Grylls, you just need to be familiar with the trail. You just have to have walked the trail with other people . . . and to read up on it." --Dr. Mark Yarhouse //: Do the Next Thing: Find some of Dr. Yarhouse's Center for Faith articles on gender here Two of Dr. Yarhouse's books we found very helpful are Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture. Want to partner with us? Find out how you can here For More

Heyyyy! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the United States! Happy "we are thankful for you all" if you are not in the States. In this 8-minute special we debate whether or not you put the stuffing in the turkey. (Answer: Find Alton brown's killer recipe on the link below for turkey SANS STUFFING. Throwaway turkeys are welcome for such goodness.) We also get a lil' bit serious on what we are thankful for. Get it here, kids. That Link: (At the bottom of the last episode): https://www.himhministries.com/blog/episode-59-a-tiny-living-act-of-obedience

What do you get when you cross 350-square-feet, six people, a one one-eyed cat named Sirius, and an honest look at what makes up our identity? This episode. Ashley Auerbach, a mom of four turned-tiny-living expert (whose life is soon to be featured on a TV show!), talks about obedience and the beautiful shredding it does to our perceptions of self. We also have her figure out our tiny living problems such as how to play Cones of Dunshire in our hypothetical new RV, and what to do in said hypothetical RV if we want to buy our kids those crazy huge Costco bears for Christmas. We laugh and get real per usual. //: Highlights: “My identity was wrapped up in what I did for people and how I entertained and how I opened my home. Because I couldn’t do any of those things my identity took a real hit. And it’s still taking a real hit.” --Ashley Auerbach "[God] allowed these circumstances of my health to fail so I could get to the place where I would say ‘yes’ to the more he would have for me." --Ashley Auerbach //: Do the Next Thing: Follow Ashley on Instagram here or at AuerbachAdventures Follow here blog here For More

Yup. We are talking about looks. Specifically, clothing. This may seem like too surface-level of a conversation for this podcast, but aren't clothes an expression of who we are? An expression of who God made us to be? We would say, yes. This conversation arose as I (Laurie) was stressing out way too much about what to wear on a stage. I found myself dressing for my audience as opposed to dressing as an expression of who God made me to be. Then Kelli ODell--a friend and our Producer Steve's wife--entered the scene. She got to know my heart and helped me express it tangibly. Now, I don't stress. I just live. If you feel annoyingly stressed about expressing yourself tangibly via clothes, you may leave practically encouraged after listening. //: Highlights: "When you do this process and find out, 'These are my colors, these are the shapes that look good,' it simplifies your life . . . You are freed up to focus on other people. You kind of forget about yourself." --Kelli O'Dell "So many of us see what looks cool on XYZ celebrity, and we are like, 'Okay, that is a cool look. I want to try that on.' What Kelli does is she confirms whether that particular look is right for you as an individual. Versus trying to be like someone else, it's helping you be more like who you are." --Steve O'Dell //: Do the Next Thing: Do you want to hit up Kelli for ideas for you? Email her here For More (Including quizzes you can take!)

If you have ever struggled with pornography addiction or are close to someone who has, please listen to this episode. Licensed mental-health counselor, ordained minister, and author Jay Stringer, helped peel back the layers of understanding for all of us as we heard results of his nearly 4,000-person study on the "whys" behind unwanted sexual behavior. From the research laid out in his incredible book, Unwanted, we dig into family systems that can foster certain types of lust and anger, the power of shame (and what removes it), and steps to take toward actual freedom. And of course, Chuck Norris and some ridiculous high-fiving action make an appearance. //: Highlights: "We need to learn to listen to our lust, and see what it says about us." --Jay Stringer "We need to begin to break some of the silence up, to say, 'Because we are made in God's image we are sexual, and that is a beautiful, stunning thing. And yet because evil cannot destroy the glory and goodness of God, evil will then go after that which most reflects God's glory and image, which is of course, our sexuality.'" --Jay Stringer "If we are really wanting change, what does it mean to not condemn ourselves for our unwanted sexual behavior, to not hate ourselves for our sexual story, but to be kind about how it in some ways makes a lot of sense--given the life that we've had?" --Jay Stringer //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Jay's site This site is also amazing Get his book! Follow him on Twitter For More

Do you intrinsically feel the shift in culture over the last ten years or so, but you can't quite name it? Author and pastor Sam Allberry can. ​In addition to being a really great hang, Sam lays out four cultural shifts and seven responses to those shifts on today's episode. This is not one to miss. //: Highlights: "As I deny self I don't become less me. As I follow Jesus and deny self I become more the me God had thought up in the first place. Isn't that amazing? God can take a group of us and we all become more like Jesus, but we won't become more like each other." --Sam Allberry "Jesus is not as easy as we think he is when it comes to these issues. That is so important to know because if they are angry at this stuff they aren't angry at Christianity, they aren't angry at me, they aren't angry at you, they aren't angry at the church. Actually, their real issue is with Jesus, and they need to realize that." --Sam Allberry //: Do the Next Thing: Listen to the talk we reference here Look into Living Out Ministry Check out Sam's book on some of these issues here You can follow him on Twitter here For More

If you grew up in the purity movement era of Christianity--where a lot of talk around sexuality was based on 'just say 'no' to sex before marriage'--were you burned by it? Encouraged by it? Our friend, Jason Soucinek, executive director and founder of ProjectSix19 talks us through the benefits and detriments of talking about sexuality with a focus on this type of purity, and helps us consider another way. We also dig into favorite group games (just don't talk about kickball kaythxsbye), get a bit crazy about being inclusive of single people, and have a giant take us to Goofball Island for reasons we still don't quite know. //: Highlights: "As a parent, you want to be Google to your children--especially when it comes to [sexuality]." --Jason Soucinek "I think if we're only looking at two parts [fall and redemption] and we are starting with the Fall, then our language is going to be around sin, and the language of, 'no, 'bad,' and 'not good.' We'll eventually get to 'image of God' or 'Jesus' or 'forgiveness,' but that's just not the story I see taking place. It starts with, 'It was very good.'" --Jason Soucinek //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Jason's sexuality equipping ministry here These may be especially helpful for parents: Parent's Primer on Sexual Integrity Parent's Primer on Internet Pornography For More

Every week, we invite people into our home for food, conversation, and games. It's basically the podcast but in real life. My real life little sister, Angela Bowles, talks about how this works both as a biological sibling and sister in Christ. We also discuss the first time I shared my story with Angela (on her 16th birthday?!), how we get motivated to do difficult things, and PLEASE listen to the after-closing bloopers. We guffawed. //: Highlights: "I got super convicted by my own mouth on a stage. I was talking [on a platform] about how the Church is the hope of the world, and how we need to open up our doors to anyone who needs family. It was the Holy Spirit pinpricking my heart saying, 'You got to open up your own home and invite people in.'" --Laurie Krieg "That's why Fram Din works: It's because it's not about sexual issues necessarily, it's about being 'with.'" --Angela Bowles "I've really loved seeing the interaction of people with our daughters. Our oldest daughter, Gwyn, is super excited: She starts praying for the family and it's all of her cousins, all of Family Dinner, and all the people she interacts with that she cares about. It's really cool to see that in her mind that they truly have been adopted into the family." --Matt Krieg //: Do the Next Thing: Check out this book: Family on Mission! For More

Do you ever wonder how people can go from living comfortably to saying "yes" to serving people courageously? We do. So we asked some of our friends how they did it. Tom Mollhagen transformed from being born in a brothel in India, to living the American dream, to going back and serving those he left behind. His wife, Dana, went from accepting Jesus on a swing set at five years old, to a successful nursing career, to working side-by-side with Thomas in India. Our friends are not special Christians; they are normal Christians who are obedient. Hear how they went from the American dream to saying "yes" no matter what (and of course play a ridiculous game alongside them) on this week's episode. //: Highlights: "I was born in a brothel. I was the untouchable, and the lowest caste. We had no hope. The only way they can live out of that caste system is by bringing the gospel and telling them they don't have to live that life. God paid for it... We don't have to earn it anymore." --Tom Mollhagen "The gospel is so needed-both for the predator and the victim. I am kind of repulsed by that because we only want to think about the victim. But both need huge redemption. As I've see this, [the perpetrators] need to be redeemed from viewing anyone as an object. . . . For the children who have been through things (so many people who have been trafficked): The Lord has to heal that hurt. There is so much in this world that needs to be made right. . . God starts to do that work in us now, but there is a waiting in that hope that is to come." --Dana Mollhagen //: Do the Next Thing: Check out their organization, Faith in Deeds For More

91% of US adults believe the best way to find yourself is by looking within yourself, and 2 out of 5 Americans believe that, when it comes to what happens in the country today, "people of faith" and "religion" are a part of the problems in our country. How can we speak into this environment as believers? Author, speaker, and leader of leaders, Gabe Lyons, helps break down how Christians can be both courageous and faithful in a world that thinks we are extreme and irrelevant. We launch the courage conversation by talking about a time when someone quite innocently (but publicly) accused me of something, and Gabe represented Jesus well by advocating strongly for me. We also discuss the Gabe's Enneagram number, one of his most embarrassing moments, and we all were privileged to watch God weave the conversation together with the themes of courage and confession. This one is not one to miss. //: Highlights: "People are afraid to speak up... There is actually this belief in the 'boogey man'--this monster out there that's bigger in your mind than it really is. You start to realize that when you start to tell the truth, people are hungry for the truth, they are looking for the truth, nobody is saying the truth, and finally when somebody does in a kind, loving way (and with the right posture), people start to respond." --Gabe Lyons "The reality is most people are not looking for a debate. They are looking for someone who is loving and kind, but also willing to be confident in what they believe." --Gabe Lyons "Confession is the initial act that starts to open up a door of freedom--of shame being removed, and us living out in a courageous way what God wants to do. If we don't do that, we don't usually have courage. We don't feel comfortable telling anybody else what we believe is true, because we do feel judgmental. Because we know that in our own life we have things we haven't confessed. It is critical to confess so we can then (with confidence) approach all the issues and topics and conversations that we need to be bold about in our society." --Gabe Lyons //: Do the Next Thing: Follow Gabe on Instagram and Twitter Read Gabe Lyons and David Kinnaman's books! For More (including some statistics from his book)

Do you ever feel like you are a spiritual extremist? Some days you're running so hard and fast toward Jesus, and then you get tired. Or you mess up. Or someone says something to throw you off and you stop. And putz around a bit. And get discouraged. But then you get convicted and you start sprinting until you...don't. This back-forth, sprint-stop can be exhausting. Josh Kelley, author of 'Radically Normal', talks through some of this "obsessive Christianity" and "complacent Christianity." What is the difference? How can we halt the extremism cycle? It was a conversation that made us all think. And laugh. (We play a game called "Christian or Secular" and the team has to decide if the lyrics belong to a Christian or not Christian song. Enya seems to walk the line of both.) //: Highlight: "I face more temptation going to a Bible study than going to the bar. And this is why: I was a smart kid, and my identity was being this smartest one in the room--knowing more about the Bible. Every time I walk into a Bible study or walk into a church, my temptation to prove myself or to prove my spiritual astuteness is overwhelming." --Josh Kelley “Whether it’s a bartender or a barista or a pastor or whatever God has called you to, you can be 100 percent completely devoted to God in that place. The only thing that’s preventing you from being a whole-hearted follower of Jesus is not your education level, it’s not where you live, it’s not your job, its whether or not you choose to follow Him . . . with your whole heart.” –Josh Kelley //: Do the Next Thing: Read Josh's book! Radically Normal: You Don't Have to Live Crazy to Follow Jesus Check out Josh's site! For More

Author, poet, and artist, Jackie Hill Perry, is in the house! As we do with every guest, we get at the intersection between the gospel and Jackie's real, right-now life. In addition to Jackie's story of surrender, we discuss how she and her husband stay connected through the storms of life, how to interact with people who want to make her into a deity or the devil, and if she were forced to only use Comic Sans or Papyrus fonts for the rest of her life--which would she choose? Join us. P.S. You can hear Jackie's four-month-old baby off and on throughout the podcast. It's the sweetest. //: Highlights: "Randomly, the strongest thought came to my head that said, 'My sin will be the death of me.' I was like, 'Oh, that was weird.' I started to think about my sin and it's consequences . . . I tried to be Christian before. I had said the sinner's prayer like 12 times before and it never worked. I knew I could not save myself. I knew, 'If you're calling me to be holy, that has to be something You do.' I told God, 'What you're calling me to do I know I can't do on my own, but I know enough about you to know that you'll help me.'" --Jackie Hill Perry "I think my challenge was would I ever love him [my husband, Preston] truly? Will I ever be as attracted to him as I was to the women I was with? Will I ever feel like I can be myself? Those were a lot of my fears." --Jackie Hill Perry "I really do believe that the gospel is foolish to those who are perishing. I really do believe that part of being a Christian is to be misunderstood. I cling a lot to the fact that when Jesus was teaching the truth they had the audacity to say he was possessed." --Jackie Hill Perry //: Do the Next Thing: Read Jackie's new book Gay Girl, Good God Follow Jackie on Instagram For More

If you're in need of hearing a story of God's unmistakable reality, you may want to listen here. David Bennett, author of 'A War of Loves' (Zondervan, Nov. 2018), shares his story and God's obvious breaking into his life. David was a once an atheist LGBT+ activist, and now pours out his life for all people because of God's love in him. The story includes a psychic telling him he was chosen by Jesus, asking his friends what love is, a prophetic moment from an uncle, and a life-transforming prayer in a bar. But after that transformation, David still has to walk what we call the awkward middle--navigating relationships on either "side" of this conversation. How does that work? Let's dig in. We also play a game called "Elevensies," where we talk about which type of snack is absolutely necessary during morning snacks, afternoon tea, and movie snacks. //: Highlights: “There was an inner, ‘I don’t want to be gay and I hate myself. I don’t want to be same-sex attracted. I want to be straight like everyone else and belong.” I reacted to that in an extreme pendulum swing towards radical self-discloser, “I am gay, if you don’t accept it, then I don’t accept you. Get out of my way because I’m getting my rights and you’ll hear from me. I’m going to spend my life defending the gay community and destroying homophobia.” –David Bennett “Jesus was saying to me, ‘No, I identify with that suffering. I died on the cross and had all the stones thrown at me. You don’t have to take those. I took them for you.'” –David Bennett “I had been really, really politically active . . . working for gay marriage and very passionate about that and that political faction. I used to tear down all the Christian union posters on campus and put gay marriage march posters on top. That’s where I was. [But] in the middle of this there was still this aching void in my heart. Still this, ‘I want something more.'” –David Bennett "[Madeline] said to me, 'David, have you experienced the love of God? You don't know the meaning of those desires until you experience the love of God.' She inflected to me that she really didn't like the narrow-mindedness of a lot of the Christian community and how horribly the LGBTQI community had been treated. That bowled me over. I had never had a Christian actually care--really actually care and embrace me as if they got what I'd been through. That was so powerful and disarming. Then she said . . . 'I really feel the presence of God right now. I have to pray for you. Do you mind if I pray for you? Is that okay? I don't usually pray for people but I just feel this compulsion. God's love is so intense for you." . . . It wasn't that [God] loved me as a fact, but she was experiencing how much more God loved me more than everything else. It was as if this love was unique for just me. It was the one thing that could get through the huge wall I had built over my heart." --David Bennett //: Do the Next Thing: Get his book! A War of Loves Check out Larry Crabb's book on gender called Fully Alive Follow David on Twitter For More

Gratitude. Joy. Hope. God has done some healing work on us, and we are sharing a few reasons why and how. We get practical. Also we do a live, old-timey candy taste testing and it's disgusting. Welcome. //: Highlights: "The reason I didn't leave is the same reason you didn't leave. It's because of God." --Matt Krieg "It's been so hard to crack open my heart and let people in, but it has been so worth it." --Laurie Krieg //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Wesley Hill is known as a big brother to many people who have recently come out as celibate LGBT+ Christians. When this conversation was still whispered about in church basements, Wes stepped up to the podium and offered a beautiful picture of living with hope. We talk about this "big brother" status, as well as dive into the new-to-us concept of emotional chastity: giving up the right or demand for extremely intimate non-sexual relationships. We'd love to hear what you think of this concept of emotional chastity, and please let us know which goofy triathlon would you try. (You'll understand when you listen.) Thanks for being a part of the HIMH Podcast fam! ​ //: Highlights: ​"Part of celibacy for me is not simply giving up a sexual relationship, but it's also a giving up that I have the right to an extremely intimate non-sexual relationship." --Wesley Hill "When you choose a life of sexual absence . . . you're not just choosing not to go to bed with someone, but you're also choosing a kind of emotional chastity. You're choosing a life that is surrendering not just physical intimacy, but a certain amount of emotional intimacy--or at least the idea that someone owes you that or that God owes you that." --Wesley Hill //: Do the Next Thing: For More

When I was first making the connection between my brain and attractions toward women, I promised myself that I would never tell my parents. I was terrified. "Would they reject me? Does this mean I am not a Christian? Or I'm the worst-broken Christian?" I'm so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman. Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us. //: ​Highlights: ​ "What is love? God gives you love for your kids. Tell me: which of your kids is perfect? Tell me: which of you, mom and dad, is perfect? We need grace. We need to extend grace." --Randy Hekman "What does love actually mean? Love means you accept their heart and you care for them." --Randy Hekman ​"Our biggest weapon as a parents is what? . . . Our prayers. And God loves our kids more than we do . . . so keep praying. Keep loving. That's what I say to moms and dads." --Randy Hekman //: Do the Next Thing: Check out our friends' amazing Guiding Families resource That Luis Palau prayer gathering he was talking about? Check it out here That Stick Faith thing about five mentors? Find it here For More

Loneliness. We all experience it, but not many of us want to talk about it. Let’s start the conversation here (and connect it to the necessity of friendship) with blogger and our new friend, Bridget Eileen! Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play “Explain a Film Plot Badly.” IT FUNNY. Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets. //: Highlights: “I really struggled with the question, ‘How could impossibly be saved if I still have this struggle?’ It was so important to me to realize God doesn’t just save me in the past, but he is saving me in my present.” --Bridget Eileen “The celibate life is really not livable without friendship.” --Bridget Eileen "I’ve seen what a struggle [friendship] is for myself. I have been able to forge close friendships . . . but there haven't been many. There have been a few precious people here and there that I have found . . . But not everybody does find close friends because our culture doesn’t have as much of an appreciation of friendship as something that is permanent and something that you prioritize." --Bridget Eileen //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Bridget Eileen's blog, Meditations of a Traveling Nun for more beautiful thoughts on friendship/family/celibacy For More

When I (Laurie) was at a recent teaching event focused on leaning into LGBT+ conversation with grace and truth, I heard Daniel Mattson, author, speaker, and trombone player, share a story that made my jaw drop. As he taught, I found myself (for the first time) jealous of the way someone suffered. He offers that story here. We also play a ridiculous game where we all practice our acting skills (as West Michigan moms, hungry dinosaurs, and texting Millennials with focal fry), and Daniel and I lean into what labels we choose to identify (same-sex attracted? gay?) and why. Welcome back, friends! We are so excited to walk this season with you. //: Highlights: "God allows us to walk away from him and stumble and fall so we can learn to reach out our hands and have him pick us up again." --Daniel Mattson "I was tempted to despair when I was younger. I thought, 'If I obey God, I'm going to be stuck in a nursing home alone and forgotten.' . . . [But] let's say I'm in a retirement home when I'm 80. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to be looking around at those other people who may have just lost their spouse and don't know what it means to have the single life and thrive. I am going to take them by the hand and say, 'You know? I've been doing this for a long time. Let's live out this life with joy.'" --Daniel Mattson //: Do the Next Thing: Find Daniel's book here! Follow him on Twitter here! Check out some Elisabeth Elliot (someone who suffered well and from whom we stole the "do the next thing" phrase) here. For More

Remember when people used to write "HAGS" in your yearbook? That's this episode. Plus some more hearty stuff and a T-Rex costume. We talk favorite Goofball Island and Heart of the Matter moments, how has this podcast impacted us from start to finish, and talk future goals for it (please come be our best friends, Chris Pratt and Terry Cruze). //: Highlight: “There were some days when Matt and I would come in and record, and we were in fuming states or silent states. This podcast was a place to laugh together and find where we agree--which is the gospel.” --Laurie Krieg //: Do the Next Thing: For More

This is our last official full-length podcast for season one of the HIMH podcast! [Insert weeping] We are going to us off into the July break talking about a favorite summer activity: camping. But this episode covers much more than camp life. Our guest, Susan Titus, a shares practical experience of caring for LGBT+ campers as well as ways God has convicted her to love LGBT+ people. (Her methods include reaching out to people in gay bars and wearing rainbow bracelets). Per usual, we learn a lot about what it means to live missionally. We also play a game called Camp or Tramp (is this a real camp experience or a faker?), and explore best and worst camp moments with our listener Question of the Week! //: Highlight: "What really propelled me down the path was we had a staff member...who came out about a relationship. [It] compelled me to get some skin in the game and really start to study, learn, and understand." --Susan Titus //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Friendship questions are some of the top inquiries we receive at HIMH. Is it biblical to have a best friend? At what point does a friendship turn codependent? What can we do about it? We cover it with codependency expert, Kelly Needham--someone who loves friendship so much she's writing a book about it. (And if you recognize that last name, it's because she is married to Christian worship artist, Jimmy Needham! A little fact we didn't know until 60 seconds before recording... Our bad.) We also get real deep into Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast talk, as well as play a game called One Day where we answer who we would like to spend one day with (CCM artist (Kelly only has one right answer!), Food Network Star, Disney character, theologian...) //: Highlights: "We are called to be dependent on someone, but it's not on each other--it's on Christ." --Kelly Needham "Codependency ... is when our emotional sense of well-being becomes tied to another person." --Kelly Needham "Over time their friendship became so enmeshed and unhealthy ... something that should have been really good (walking someone through pain and suffering) became its own version of sin and suffering." --Kelly Needham //: Do the Next Thing: Check out the Kelly's blog Read Messy, Beautiful Friendship by Christine Hoover Read When People are Big and God is Small by Ed Welch Read Knowing God by J. I. Packer For More

We have two incredible stories for you today: One is of Kat LaPrairie, who identifies as transgender and experiences attractions toward women. Kat came out as gay after high school and had serial dating relationships with women for a decade. In those years, Kat woke up many nights "gasping for God." The other story is of a mom, Kathi Bush. Kathi is a clinical therapist and mom to a son who wrestles with gender dysphoria. Kathi shares not only pieces of her journey with her son, but practical ways parents of children wrestling with gender dysphoria can journey alongside them well. We also toss around our least favorite gender stereotypes, the Goo Goo Dolls (catch that opener? and the secret ending after the song at the very end?), and if we'd rather lose a year of our life or repeat the same day for 365 days. #itsgroundhogday //: Highlights: ​ "That tugging at my heart, I felt it through those ten years. It would wake me up out of a sleep--where I would almost be gasping." --Kat LaPrairie ​“How does God see me? … He wasn’t doing the frown-face-with-the-shoulder-turn. He was like, ‘Dude. Finally. I’ve been waiting. And I’m so excited you are here.'” –Kat LaPrairie "As parents we must be really self-aware to put ourself in a posture of love: I am going to put myself in your shoes and put myself in your space. This isn't about me." --Kathi Bush “It was a little alarming the amount of pressure that the kids seemed to be under… to identify were they pansexual, bisexual, gay, lesbian, cisgender, or were they transgender? … Some people want to be supportive (and that’s good!) …. What I’m not hearing is people interjecting, ‘And it’s okay if you don’t know. You’re developing. You don’t have to label yourselves, my loves. You don’t have to label yourselves.” –Kathi Bush //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Friends: This is a story you 're not going to want to miss. Our guest, Rachel Gilson, wrote an article for Christianity today that was both award-winning and one of the most-read articles of 2017. When you hear her share her story of the gospel's good news for her here, you'll understand why. The story includes girlfriends, binge drinking, and a stolen copy of ​Mere Christianity. Rachel also shares about the gospel's right-now good newsiness in her walk with ongoing temptation. Because we are the HIMH podcast, we naturally discuss the past-tense version of the word, "cheat," the difference between a high-five and a fist-bump, and we play a game called Mascot or Villain (where you have to guess if the name is a sports mascot or super villain). //: Highlights: "There wasn't a particular paragraph or a line of logic that got me [in Mere Christianity]. It was that while I was reading, I was suddenly aware not only did God exist, but that he was incredibly holy, and that holiness was a problem for me." "I knew I couldn't pretend that the gospel wasn't real just because it was inconvenient for me. That would be the definition of stupidity." "In other groups I had made friends by telling dirty jokes and drinking a lot. (I learned pretty quickly that that's not how you make friends with Evangelicals). [My Christian friends] were so incredibly gracious to me. They just loved me right in. I never felt weird or out of place. It was just full acceptance all at once." "If you choose sin over relationship, it does not stay in your own private world, it always ripples out." //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Are we all leaders because of social media? How does social media play into the struggle with envy? When does pride get mixed up into that? (And what's the relationship to all of this and self-hatred?) We explore it with pastor, author, and speaker Adam Barr. We also walk with tauntauns, wampas, (and therefore the relationship between Star Wars and Dr. Seuss), and Matt Krieg brings the Goofball Island game for the first time. Woot! //: Highlights: "Prayer and pride are inversely proportional. If one side is high, the other side is low. If one side is low, the other side is high." " Jesus says... 'The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.' Then he says, 'Pray to the Lord of the harvest.' He doesn't say, 'Get up and go out there!' He says, 'Pray.' Prayer is what unleashes anything good God wants to do in his Kingdom." "Beholding the glory of God is the antidote to thinking more or less of yourself." //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Dr. Preston Sprinkle is in the house! ​ We are hitting the New York Times bestseller with all the hard questions: What is your Enneagram number? What's your Hogwarts house? Where did the phrase "kick the bucket" come from? AFTER ALL OF DAT, we do talk a bit about God's design for gender, premarital sex (what does the Bible say?), and when to speak truth in love. //: Highlight: "Our leadership has to be consistently promoting and embodying a counter-cultural way of doing community that is really shocking and life-giving to people... Our current church structures are largely resistant to that kind of deep, vibrant, vulnerable types of communities that the New Testament is longing for." //: Question of the Week: When do you feel the most envious? //: Do the Next Thing For More

We have a controversial guest on our podcast today: Rosaria Butterfield. Some of you may not know why she might be controversial; some of you may write off this podcast forever as a result of our interview. Give me us minute to explain why we intentionally invited her: The world is increasingly becoming post-Christian. We need other Christians. We need to link arms with other believers (even if we disagree with pieces of what they say) so that the gospel is preached. If you give this one a chance, you may be surprised at how much you are challenged and how many times you find places of agreement. We also talk about doilies, daydreaming about velociraptor attacks, auditioning for Disney, and we introduced Rosaria to a classic youth group game (Two Truths and a Lie) where kids effectively learn how to deceive each other. (Good job, us.) //: Highlights: "Laurie, genuinely I don't think you and I could put a church together, but if we couldn't put a community together ... what good are we?" "I learned my hospitality gifts in my LGBTQ community." "When you take great risks to love people across differences, the Lord meets you more than halfway there." "So many of the things that have created this post-Christian world would not have happened had the Body of Christ lived like the Body of Christ. The fact that we have relegated people to crushing loneliness is obscene." //: Question of the Week: What is the next hospitality step you took this week? (Also, if you have any questions for Preston, hit us up! Lord willing, he will be on next week--for real this time.) //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Did you or do you feel lost in your 20s? Lonely? ​ Our guest, Drew Boa, asked (and still asks) in his 20s, "What is my purpose? Who are my people? Where do I belong?" Let's dive into that 20-something lostness, and talk about feeling lost in general. Then, let's explore how we can get anchored. //: Highlights: "[The gospel] is still good news for me today because even though I'm married, I have a daughter, and I'm living in beautiful Santa Barbara, I still feel lonely. I still feel the need for the good news that God is with me, and that I have brothers and sisters who can be my friends." "The mentors in my life the are the only reason I have gone through sexual recovery... They are the only reason I was able to publish a book, and they are the only reason I am still involved in a local church (even though it doesn't really feel like home for me). But they gave me this vision that the church is the bride of Christ and she is really sick and she is really unfaithful, but he is committed to her. and so we are, too." //: Question of the Week: What did the word "hospitality" mean to you growing up?" //: Do the Next Thing: For More

The hearty portion of this week's podcast is all about authenticity and intimacy: How can we be authentic without over-sharing? Can pastors/leaders be authentic? Should they be? How do emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy relate to marriage and friendship? We are very heavy-handed with the goofball part of the show: In a fight between Eleven from Stranger Things and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, who would win? Would you rather lose your texting ability or have to use dial-up internet forever? Would you rather have terrible dandruff, body odor, or flatulence? You get it all here at the Hole in My Heart Podcast. //: Highlights: "In your sharing, is it just in the hopes that someone will give you something? Is it in the hopes that this mass of people will say... 'Oh poor you!' Because then the sharing is entirely about you. [Instead] say, 'God, is this something that needs to be shared? Is this something that will help someone else?'" - Matt Krieg ​ "Cultivating a platform and a culture of authenticity is critical." - Laurie Krieg //: Question of the Week: Have you ever felt lost as a 20-something? How so? What did you need or what do you feel like you need? Email us at [email protected] or comment/message/hit us up wherever you can find us. //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Eh, boy. Here we go again! Getting vulnerable. ​As a follow-up to the now infamous (and most listened-to) Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?, Matt and I [Laurie] give an update on our marriage's healing journey. We get really real. We pray you are only blessed by it. We also talk men's and women's ministries/conferences/retreats and the gifts and drawbacks of them, and I do a HILARIOUS round of Mom Jokes regarding cold weather. (I'm begging you to laugh.) //: Highlight: "The problem for me was I knew when we got married ... it was not this erotic, hormone-driven sexual desire. That was not there in the beginning. So what I rested my laurels on (and maybe made an idol of), was this friendship with you [Matt]. 'Well, at least if we can have this friendship with you, that can lead to sexual intimacy...' Nope. Gone. And when that was taken away what was left was this patched together, barely-tolerant-of-each-other marriage ... and God." - Laurie Krieg //: Question of the Week: What questions do you have for Dr. Preston Sprinkle? (He is next week's guest.) Sexuality, gender, non-violence, hell, or home church? What do you got? Comment, email, or hit us up somewhere and we might throw them at him! //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Who comes to your mind when you think about mentors or disciple-makers? Who comes to mind when you think about sexual discipleship? Anybody? Whether or not we realize it, we are discipled by the world. We learn the significance of sex, its importance (or lack thereof), and how to approach it by the world. We need another way. Our friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom, Dr. Juli Slattery, author, speaker, and podcaster walks us through a beautiful start of this conversation and some highlights in her fantastic new book, Rethinking Sexuality. We are real, we are gospel-focused, but because we can't ever keep things too serious, we talk about ridiculous but important-to-us things: How the gateway drug to alcohol is Mountain Dew (you know we are right), clean mullets, singing the Circle of Life at the top of your lungs, Morning Ninja Steve, and what if everything you ate tasted like bananas? It's a fun game of "Would you Rather," and a deep talk with our friend Dr. Juli Slattery. //: Highlight: "The [disciple-maker] grit doesn't come from this view of, 'I have so much to offer somebody else.' It comes from, 'I have encountered God in such a powerful way that I am just a leaky vessel that I want the Lord to pour through.'" //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Friends: If you haven't ever listened to our podcast, start here! We have a special guest, Bill Henson, who is a spirit-filled well of wisdom. If you are a parent of an LGBT+ child, a Christian leader who wants to be more inclusive (while still holding to a historically Christian view), identify as LGBT+, or simply care about LGBT+ people, this one is for you. In addition to talking about walking with LGBT+ friends and family, we also talk about the first time we learned we were missionaries, how we listen to music (in the car? at home? at church?), and about an upcoming joint-retreat HIMH is hosting with Bill and Lead Them Home. Don't miss this one! //: Highlights: “I shouldn’t have to say it, but I will say it: No one has to give you permission to love your child.” “Why is it a threat to the church for us to include people who have a different experience in life than we have? When we know that without them being included and encountering God’s Word and being able to praise God, they might not actually be able to experience being born again the way we have?” //: Do the Next Thing: For More