Hole in My Heart Podcast

If you disciple children in any capacity, how’s it going for you? I mean, we have all gone through a lot in the last year, and so have young people. Today, author and teacher, Dr. Michele Anthony, comes alongside us to help us care for kids’ hurting hearts. Together, we explore: How can we teach kids to hear God’s voice? (Is it even possible?) How can we lead kids as a “spiritual parent” instead of a “fear-based” one? (And what does it even mean to parent spiritually?) How can we help children to have a gospel-centered identity? Only the easy questions today. ;) Join us? // Highlights: “First, God is in charge.” -Dr. Michelle Anthony (quoting her daughter) “[Spiritual parenting] means I have an audience of One. It means I’m not parenting for the whole world to say I’m a good parent; I’m parenting before God to say, ‘I’m really taking seriously that you entrusted this child to me.’” -Dr. Michelle Anthony “[Spiritual parenting is] done in concert with the Holy Spirit.” -Dr. Michelle Anthony // Do the Next Thing: Check out more of Michelle at her website! For updates on our ministry and connection to other listeners, join our Facebook group!

When we look at churches and ministries today, we often don’t see Jesus. Instead, we see scandal. Abuse. Toxicity. What do we do with this? How do we change and prevent it? Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer have an answer: tov. Tov is the Hebrew word for “good,” and it’s who God is and who He calls us to be. As Scot says it, tov is “the redemptive dimension of churches that can prevent them from toxicity.” We need more of this. Let’s listen in. // Highlights: “This [book] was really a work of faith for me, realizing that God is in the wounded. That He’s with the wounded, He’s with the resisters. And I’ve found that, sadly, churches silencing victims was so discouraging and so disorienting. But what I found through the journey was that, that is not God, that God is truth and that God, like I said, is with the wounded.” -Laura Barringer “The gospel is about the goodness of God—God is tov—because He is Himself tov, and therefore, we get incorporated into that kind of gospel and it just fills us with tov and goodness! And we want to be that kind of person in the world, because that’s the way Jesus was.” -Scot McKnight “Who are we talking about when we leave the church? Are we talking about God? Are we talking about Jesus? Are we talking about the Spirit? Are we talking about the fellowship of the saints and the worship? Or are we talking about how great the pastor was [and] how great the church was?…When that’s the commentary in the car on the way home, we’re on the verge of trouble.” -Scot McKnight // Do the Next Thing: Check out Scot and Laura’s book, A Church Called Tov, here. Here’s Scot’s blog! Also, guys! We are looking for partners in our ministry! If you’re interested, join us over here. For updates on our ministry, check out Laurie’s Instagram.

Oh, you guys. This conversation… It’s not often Matt and I (Laurie) are surprised by our guests, but we were surprised in the best way today. Podcaster, author, and boss-mom, Jamie Ivey, and pastor, author, and tender-hearted dad, Aaron Ivey, got real—like really real. Matt and I were going along, simply enjoying the conversation with these incredibly humble and kind people, and then Therapist Matt asks a question about how childhood wounding relates to marriage pain. (Way to go, counselor!) We suddenly took a left turn, and found ourselves talking about Aaron’s recent clinical depression diagnosis. What contributed to it? How did Jamie respond? What if we have been feeling similarly this last year, but are sick of people saying, “Oh yes, everyone is depressed. It’s 2020/21.” Ooo, friends. This is a rich one. // Highlights: “Oneness takes work.” -Laurie Krieg “[Our] friendship turned into deep abiding love, and that’s what’s kept us through the whole [marriage].” -Aaron Ivey “My advice would be….to pray. [It] would really, really be to pray. And no pray, ‘Oh that they come around,’ or whatever, but pray that they fall in love with Jesus. Because I honestly think that [in] falling in love with Jesus, a lot of the pieces that we’re wanting to get fixed, they fall into place that way.” -Jamie Ivey “Single people need to hear and understand: You have value and purpose and there’s something that God has for you to do right now in your singleness. Because if you can wrap your mind around that, then marriage won’t be this thing that you feel like you can finally get to and THEN do something awesome with your life.” -Aaron Ivey “There is no shame with mental health. None.” -Aaron Ivey // Do the Next Thing: Check out the Iveys’ book! Jamie mentioned interviewing Aaron on her podcast. Find that episode here! Also—here’s that one time Jamie interviewed us!

This is another conversation we cannot engage too frequently: Friendship. How in the world can we do it well? Real-life friends, authors, and founders of The Ruth Experience, Julie Fisk and Kendra Roehl, wisely and winsomely engaged Laurie’s latest habit of tossing quite challenging questions at guests. Together, the group explored: How do we confront our friends? What about friend-shame? (If I feel that I have too few friends or not enough time for the ones I have?) Should we wait for friends to come to us or do we go to them? How do you know if you are asking too much of your friendships? Do guys do friendship differently? What if we are attracted to our friends? // Highlights: “If the girls of Jesus linked arms and did healthy community with one another, I think we would be an unstoppable force.” -Julie Fisk “We can trust the Holy Spirit more than we think we can when it comes to relationships.” -Kendra Roehl “God asks us to move, and He will meet us when we move, but He often pushes us out of our comfort zones. And as the girls who believe in Jesus, we are to be the inviters…I understand the desire…to be invited, but I have found more often than not, I have to be the inviter….Jesus frequently makes me take the step.” -Julie Fisk // Do the Next Thing: Want to hear more from Julie, Kendra, and the Ruth Experience? Head over to their website here. Guys! The Journey Well Study is ON SALE this week! Check it out here. Want to join a monthly, live Q and A conversation with Matt and Laurie and others who listen? Support the ministry and $15 or more a month and you’ll get exclusive access to this as well as other ministry exclusives and updates!

Why engage only one challenging topic concerning women when you can engage more? Such as… What is biblical feminism (and should we call ourselves biblical feminists if we are pro-woman)? What does it mean to be feminine? Is there a right and wrong when it comes to marriage: complementarian or egalitarian? Bible teacher and author, Phylicia Masonheimer, handles all of these questions and more with aplomb. (Yes, aplomb.) Pull up an earbud, friends, and join this really enjoyable conversation. // Highlights: “What I found in Scripture was that the heart of the person and their desire to walk with the Lord and evidence the fruit of the Spirit is God’s top priority. And some of those extra personality traits? They’re just the freedom that He gives us to express that personality, as long as we’re surrendering it to the Lord.” -Phylicia Masonheimer // Do the Next Thing: Check out more of Phylicia’s work at her website! Check out an Egalitarian/Complementarian description here ALSO—here’s our new favorite Bible. Check it out!

We are not sure there is a bigger, more delicate, more divisive, or more misunderstood conversation in Christendom right now than how to approach the trans* conversation. So, we’re bringing in the best expert on the conversation right now: our dear friend of the podcast (and in real life!), Dr. Preston Sprinkle. Together, we explore: If we hold to a historically Christian view of marriage (believing it is between one man and one woman) how does that affect our beliefs on gender? Does it? Should Christians transition? Is this whole thing just a big trend? How can we love beloved, trans* image bearers like Jesus? No longer can we offer pat answers or avoid the whole thing, dear family. Let’s dive in together. // Highlights: “Think deeply and love widely.” -Preston Sprinkle “We need to look through these identities to the person. And really have the kindness and patience of Christ to get to know this human being in front of you.” -Preston Sprinkle // Do the Next Thing: Explore more of Preston’s work, especially Embodied, here! Check out our new favorite Bible here!

When you think of the word “rejection,” what comes to mind? When you were a kid and were the last one chosen for kickball? Junior high lunch room not knowing where to sit? Maybe you think of last week when that person didn’t text you back? No matter what comes to mind, most of us wouldn’t put rejection in the “gift” file of our minds. However, author and dating coach, Kait Warman, has a different view: After processing the deep pain of rejection with Jesus, she has learned to be grateful for it. How, Kait? Seriously, how do you do that?! Let’s go, friends. // Highlights: “In the wake of a rejection, we wanna see six months ahead. We wanna know next week, next month, and we wanna see the future….So my prayer usually to God in the wake of a rejection is, ‘God, would you give me the grace just to handle today?’” -Kait Warman // Do the Next Thing: Head over to Kait’s website for more resources! Check out our new favorite Bible!

We’re asking the question again: How do we engage racial divides well? The topic of race has faded from the trends the last few months—but for Christ-followers, the work is just beginning. We have a lot of ground to cover and many questions along the way. Never fear, though; our Savior is walking with us! Pastor Daniel Hill is here to walk with us as well, taking us with him on his own journey. Friends? Will you join us as we explore this topic even more deeply than before? // Highlights: “For me, the most important aspect of repentance is this acknowledgment that Jesus Christ has a perspective on the problem of race that I don’t currently share. He sees it in a way that I don’t currently see it. So to repent is to say that I don’t have the mind of Christ in this arena and I want to have the mind of Christ.” -Daniel Hill “Racism is built on this lie about human value. It says that some people are superior—white—and some people are inferior—black—and then it measures—Asian, Middle Eastern, Latino—it measures based on the proximity to those two poles….We just have to see that those lies have very real impact. They don’t just mess up souls. They mess up neighborhoods, they mess up communities. They mess up all kinds of other things.” -Daniel Hill “It’s not a political issue at all; it’s an Imago Dei issue.” -Daniel Hill // Do the Next Thing: Check out David’s writing at his website! Here’s our new favorite Bible—check it out!

Goodness, we loved this conversation. Two-time author and one of our favorite friends of the podcast, Greg Coles, is back to mentor us. On what? Well, our friendships. Questions we explore include: How did you know you were called to singleness + celibacy (and not marriage)? What does belonging mean if we are feeling lonely? Can we have a social life with Jesus? What does it mean to say (and believe) "God is enough"? How can married + single people build each other up? How should the Church interact with our social lives? We'd love for you to join us. // Highlights: “It’s actually in the reckless pursuit of Jesus that you find yourself being given a much better belonging than you thought you could possibly earn.” -Greg Coles “There’s...this broader claim that...with human beings, they’re actually intended to share life with one another to see the face of God reflected in the image of God around them in these Image-Bearers.” -Greg Coles “Jesus is not a God who interacts with us at a distance.” -Greg Coles “It actually matters so little what I can do, or what I can recognize, or what I can wrap my head around, or what I can cling to—because all the most important clinging is the clinging that Jesus is doing...to me.” -Greg Coles // Do the Next Thing: Check out Greg’s new book, along with his other content, on his website! Want to hear more of Greg on the podcast? Check it out here!

In 2019, between 6-11% of US adults had symptoms of an anxiety or depressive disorder (CDC). By the end of 2020? Between 39 and 42% of US adults experienced anxiety or depression (Journal of Public Health). We need help, and psychology professor and author Dr. Peace Amadi is here to offer it. When should we call a therapist? Why should we? How can we walk with each other through this (if the therapist’s waiting list is 6-months long)? Let’s go, friends. No shame, no judgment, let’s just care for each other like Jesus cares for us. // Highlights: “The absolute first step is just to pause and listen and name the pain….Whatever it is, it’s so important to name it. That can’t be overstated. Because when you name the pain, you basically tell yourself that it’s real and it deserves attention and that there’s something that your body, your mind, your psyche is trying to tell you.” -Dr. Peace Amadi // Do the Next Thing: Check out Peace’s work and latest book! If you’re looking for a “friend in the trenches,” check out our coaching resources! Also, check out our new favorite Bible!

If you are a parent or discipler of students, have you ever gone to bed kicking yourself for all of the ways you missed your child or student's heart? "Why didn't I say this? Why did I say that? How can I do better next time?" If so, we can relate, and so can bestselling author Crystal Paine. Crystal never thought she would write a parenting book, and when her child was getting kicked out of school for poor choices, she especially couldn't picture it. But sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom of something to really experience God's grace in it. That is what happened to Crystal, and now she approaches parenting and discipling young people totally differently: She sees she can't fail. What? How is that possible? Please, teach us how? Crystal will in today's conversation as we continue our gardens' series. Join us? //Highlights: “I was constantly just correcting, but I was spending so little time connecting.” -Crystal Paine “There’s just this beautiful rest and freedom as a mom, because it’s not about my kids’ choices—it’s about being able to walk with them.” -Crystal Paine // Do the Next Thing: To learn more about Crystal, head over to her website, MoneySavingMom.com! Also, check out Crystal’s book, Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids, here! BONUS: Check out one of our new favorite Bibles. Will you consider partnering us? Learn more here!

Anyone else out there struggle to experience Jesus sometimes? We feel you. Personal, intimate experiences with Christ are hard to find in our chaotic world. Today, Carolyn Schroeder (Laurie’s real life mentor!!!) is here to invite us into Jesus’ presence and teach us how to have those experiences wherever we are! Join us as we dive into deeper relationship with our Savior and Healer today. // Highlights: “God had to get me to the place of being powerless and desperate for Him so that I could be a receiver.” -Carolyn Schroeder “My sins cannot condemn me, because there’s a solution to sin. And everyday, I take that solution.” -Carolyn Schroeder “Only a life lived in anticipation of [God’s] goodness can live in the chaos we live in.” -Carolyn Schroeder // Do the Next Thing: Would you consider partnering with us in our mission? Click here to learn more! Check out Carolyn’s recommendations for time with Jesus: Lectio 365 1010 Thrive Podcast And here’s Carolyn’s prayer featured at the end of the episode! Hear Him say to you now: “My Beloved one, you are most precious to me. The places in your life where you feel the most fearful, the most regretful, the most shameful are where I want to shine my love, compassion and mercy on, and I will carry that for you so it will become the place where my glory shines through. I will take what the enemy has done to wound you and bring myself into that pain for you. If you consider acknowledging the pain others have inflicted, and give it to me, knowing I have come to carry this pain off of you to place it on myself, so you can learn to walk in my goodness and kindness. This is my desire for you. It is accomplished already for you and all you need to do is open your heart and receive my life into those places so you can be free.” “Only a life lived in an expectation of my goodness can live in the chaos around you. I am devoted to empowering you for whatever you face, and I am with you. You can live above your circumstance when you focus on me. I desire you to wait on me and remain in peace in your circumstance. I will give you my perspectives on your next step. I have chosen you and desire to have intimacy with you. When you are vulnerable with Me, I make you inaccessible to the enemy. I bless you with the joy and anticipation of celebrating who I am for you in every circumstance knowing I am with you to bless you. So dear ones, I desire your awareness of my life that is in you and your confidence in Me will overwhelm anything that can try to come against you. For there is nothing that can defeat my purposes for you.” –Jesus

Okay, friends, let’s play “would you rather”... Would you rather have an all-expenses paid, two week vacation in a tropical oasis—but there is one catch: You have to be discontent every second of the trip. Or, would you rather be locked up in jail, and you are cold, hungry, have few clothes, but you know God called you there, and so all you want to do is joyfully, contentedly worship God—so you do. Likely, most of us would pick the second option. But what does that choice tell us? We think it says contentment is critical and our circumstances don’t matter as much as we might think they do. But how in the world can we become content? How does contentment relate to our time, money, and talents that we are called to steward? Do we need to still give if we are achingly tired and legit feel like we have nothing inside to offer another? Let’s get after it, friends. Let’s dive into the stewardship garden with pastor and author (and all-around awesome dude) Dr. Andrew Davis. // Highlights: “Christian contentment is that sense in the heart--based on the fatherly love of God—of trusting in Him, the decisions He makes for our lives. So a lot of it has to do with submission, a faith-filled submission to our Heavenly Father and what He chooses to do with our lives, and that sense that we have of peace and joy as we trust our Heavenly Father.” -Dr. Andrew Davis “I think you can actually go through your whole Christian life and never learn [contentment]. I think you can be a complaining…murmuring, frustrated person and still be fruitful—but you won’t be as fruitful.” -Dr. Andrew Davis “You need to be evidently hope-filled.” -Dr. Andrew Davis “Jesus said no one lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl; he puts it up on a stand. Could it be the stand is suffering? He’s gonna put you on a stand and make you shine in a dark place…[C]ontentment enables you to be a steward of that situation.” -Dr. Andrew Davis // Do the Next Thing: Check out TwoJourneys.org to learn more about Andy!

How do we cultivate our minds? Today, we'll tackle this question with the always-joyful Dr. Kathy Koch, a child development expert and long-time minister. We'll especially be taking a look at "the eight smarts," which are: Word-smart: They think in words. When they're excited, they usually talk or write. They often thrive in school. Logic-smart: They think with questions. They ask more questions when they're excited. Usually, they like math and science, and they love things to make sense. Picture-smart: They think with their eyes, in pictures. Pay attention to color, design, where things are placed on a page. Art and creativity, fiction, history, and Bible are strengths of theirs. Music-smart: They think with rhythm and melodies. When they're excited, they hum or tap or dance. They go after the musical disciplines. Body-smart: They think with movement and touch. Love to experience life through movement. They may be athletic or artistic, culinary or theatrical. They are hands on, no matter what. Nature-smart: They think with patterns. They would rather be outside than inside. Their strengths are often in biology, meteorology, or earth science. People-smart: They think with other people. They brainstorm, collaborate, coordinate. When they are excited, they talk to others and get feedback. Self-smart: They think on their own. They reflect inside of themselves. When they're excited, they engage in more self-reflection. They are quiet but have a lot to say. Often counselors, teachers, salespeople. All of us have them at different levels, and everyone has a few that they excel in. These are connected with Dr. Kathy's take on the core needs (she has five): 1. Security: Who can I trust? 2. Identity: Who am I? 3. Belonging: Who wants me? 4. Purpose: Why am I alive? 5. Competence: What do I do well? Give it a listen to see how you fit into all of this! // Highlights: “For me, it was wisdom that started [my relationship with Jesus], love that completed it—other people might have that in the opposite direction.” -Dr. Kathy Koch “We can pursue righteousness, and we should—but we don’t have to be perfect. And we have a loving, full-of-grace-mercy-and-hope-and-truth God who receives us when we mess up and acknowledge it.” -Dr. Kathy Koch “One of the questions is “Am I smart?” And I like to tell children the answer is always yes because God doesn’t make stupid people!” -Dr. Kathy Koch “Jesus did not die that you would have an abundant school experience. No! It’s abundant life! And life is abundant when ALL of life is abundant!” -Dr. Kathy Koch // Do the Next Thing: Thank you to the CSB Bible for sponsoring our podcast episode! Check out the Holy Illustrated Bible we talked about here! Check out Dr. Kathy’s website to see her book, Eight Great Smarts, and more!

Anyone else feeling a bit down about your physical self these days? Why don't we have Sarah Young offer her thoughts? Sarah is a marriage and sex therapist who has wrestled with her body image. Together, we cover: What should single people do with their sexuality? How do we stop hating ourselves into liking ourselves? What if we never talk about sex in our marriage? What is the ultimate form of intimacy--for real? How can the Church help? We'd love for you to join the conversation. // Highlights: "[H]ow do I care for my heart and validate the struggle in the midst of the noise? How do I take on my own battle, my own journey, my own questions, frustrations, hesitancies? I have to have a safe place to do that. And hopefully that's how we show up as the church for everyone: our friends who are single, our friends who are married--wherever our community finds themselves." -Sarah Young // Do the Next Thing: Read A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Doug Rosenau. This article by Phylicia Masonheimer Reach us with your questions at [email protected] ! Thanks, as always, for rating and reviewing the podcast!

It's time to bring even more color and clarity to the Oneness Mountain in this second part of our introduction to the Gardens Series! Today, Matt and Laurie bring examples and Core Needs so we can better see that life is more than a timeline. It is more like a group of gardens to cultivate with each other and Gardener God. After you listen, will you let us know the answer to the question: "How is your church community doing at cultivating oneness (unity, intimacy) right now? What's one way they/you are doing it well?" Let us know so we can encourage each other with practical care! (Email: [email protected]) This week we cover CORE NEEDS: Affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of Desired: Specially chosen—no pretense necessary Included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership; I belong Loved: Unconditionally accepted Nurtured: Cared for; held Purposed: Filled with a sense of profoundly mattering Rested: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun Delighted In: Seen as unique and special Protected: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control Noticed: Seen inside and out We also cover these GARDEN BARRIERS: Rocks: Sin done to us, or the effects of the Fall on us (unchosen) Weeds: Sin tendencies within us (These are still unchosen defaults (temptations), but we have a choice of whether we will engage the sinful tendencies.) Broken Fence: Covenant break of any variety (affairs, porn, "what if" questions such as "What if I left?" or "What if I married that person?") Mold: Aggravation of our circumstances (lies, bitterness, the enemy influence) To see the Seven Gardens, see Episode 159. // Do the Next Thing: Email us with your answer to the above question! ([email protected])

We at HIMH often about how “marriage and singleness are equally valuable modes we fulfill the mission to make disciples.” But how can we to-our-core believe this if we view life only as a timeline? … You are born, you go to school, you get married, you make Christian babies, you tithe, and you die. “Single people?” Married people say with this timeline in mind. “Uh, yeah, you’re valuable. You don’t fit the script, but you’re great!!!!!!” We married folk are well-meaning, but a tad insincere. However, if we do not view life simply as a timeline, rather a group of gardens to cultivate with Gardener God? Suddenly, life gets interesting. It’s 4D. We truly view each other as equally valuable, and as necessary to thriving as the Body of Christ. Throw on some overalls and grab a trowel; it's time to join Matt and Laurie as they unpack Intro Part 1 to the Gardens Series. THE GARDENS: Intellectual: Engaging topics of the mind about things that are traditionally non-emotional like concepts, ideas, facts Physical: Connecting and caring physically such as hugs, hand-holding, sensual touch, sex (but not necessarily holistic-sex), touch, hugs, anything that cares for the physical/tactile body (physical exercise, eating healthy) Emotional: Talking, crying, laughing, connecting to feelings, hopes, etc. Spiritual: Church attendance, Bible study, worship, prayer Social: Relational with each other and/or others Stewardship: The way that we prioritize and direct the resources God has given us such as our skills, time, money, spiritual gifts, and votes Family: Relationships to family including children, in-laws, and extended family // Do the Next Thing: Get our book! (Chapter 5 is where you can read more!) We mentioned a test you can take to learn more? You can purchase the Impossible Marriage workshop here or invite us to come to do a teaching or marriage workshop on this! Reach out to Michele at [email protected]

Author and speaker Hannah Brencher talks real life: She's wrestled with life-threatening depression, has been a viral TED speaker, and is here today to help us to get some soul stability if our mental health has taken a hit. Together, we explore: How can we put practices in place without feeling like legalists? How can we face the inner critic if he/she doesn't stop berating us? If we show up and fail, how can we recover? 2021 requires real life conversations, and Hannah's the right one for the job. //: Highlights “I knew in my soul, ‘You’re not gonna hide. You’re gonna show up anyway. You’re gonna do exactly what you would have done if you were the most confident person in the world.’ And with each decision to just move forward anyway, that …inner critic loses some of its power.” -Hannah Brencher “No one wins if you don’t show up in the world how you need to show up.... You’ll live this half-hearted life if you let fear have that amount of power over you.” -Hannah Brencher //:Do the Next Thing Check out Hannah’s website to find her book, Fighting Forward, as well as so much more!

This is a needed conversation, and author and apologist Sean McDowell is the right one to have it. As parents and ministry leaders, we don't always know how to answer Gen Z's toughest questions. Praise the Lord that Sean does, and that he's willing to help us to unpack ones like: “Why would God keep me from loving whomever I want to love?" “Why do you call your attractions to the same sex brokenness? You are not broken.” “I just need to be free. Why are you stopping me from freedom?” “If I am attracted to the same sex, why would God call me to loneliness (ie. singleness)?” “Who cares about sex before marriage?” Thanks, Sean, for being a helpful friend today on the podcast! (And for being a real friend to Laurie at the surprise ending that made her cry happy tears. Listen all the way to the end to hear it. :) ) //: Highlights “If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to have conversations with your kids.” -Sean McDowell “The point in this is that sex means something. So the final question...is if we communicate with our bodies and sex means something, then how do we love God and love other people with our bodies? What does that mean? And what does that look like?” -Sean McDowell //: Do the Next Thing Check out Sean’s book, Chasing Love, as well as other resources, here!

Buckle your seatbelts, friends. This episode gets a bit bumpy. Maybe your family—like ours—has people with different political beliefs in it. When I (Laurie) chose to co-host this episode with my dad, I didn’t realize a major theme would be loving each other through differing political beliefs. The major gift of this surprise theme was that by the end, we were all nodding in agreement with each other—unified in the gospel. And oh yeah… the matchless Os Guinness may have been our guest, but he acted like a brilliant mediator guiding my dad and I (and our divided world?) toward grace for each other and a reliance on “true truth.” Maybe you can relate to this conversation? P.S. This was recorded before the mob at the capital, but the heart of it is still very much applicable. //: Highlights “People don’t realize the wonder of the gospel! So I give you the little phrase, 'Contrast is the mother of clarity.’ Every time you see what the alternatives [to the gospel] lead to, you come back with wonder, love, and praise at the difference the good news of Jesus makes.” -Os Guinness “Remember how Elijah made people convinced that Jehovah was the real God was the miracle of the fire coming down. We can show miracles today, too….For…followers of Christ to love each other, despite their differences, is a powerful message to our very split world.” -Randy Heckman “Hopelessness and despair are always pagan. The gospel always ends in a sense of hope.” -Os Guinness “Have faith in God. Have no fear.” -Os Guinness //: Do the Next Thing Check out more of Dr. Guinness on his website!

The world feels like it’s on fire, and if we are honest? Many of us have started or increased unhealthy habits to cope. Some have turned to porn, the use of which increased globally by 11% at the start of the pandemic. But wait! If this is you or a friend? Before you turn away in shame or self-hatred, we pray and believe that this conversation with John Michael Cusick, licensed professional counselor, teacher, and author of Surfing for God will truly encourage you. Discover the heart behind porn addiction and how you can overcome it—yes, even now while the world is on fire—on today’s episode. //: Highlights “I don’t see that the story of God presumes that we are more sinful than we believe. I would say that we’re more loved than we know and believe, but that we’re more *broken* than we understand. And that our sinful behaviors flow and overflow out of our brokenness.” -Michael John Cusick “We all experience ongoing conversions of our heart where the love of God and the Holy Spirit gets down into the nooks and crannies of who we are. Or, more accurately, Christ already dwells in us, and the Spirit is there, and the Spirit comes up and out of those nooks and crannies as the layers of shame and the layers of lies and the rubble of trauma begin to fall away.” -Michael John Cusick “Whenever there’s any kind of suffering, it becomes an opportunity and it’s a bridge to becoming who we are and living in our union with Christ, as opposed to a barrier.” -Michael John Cusick “[O]ur biggest sin becomes that we settle for good enough as opposed to for the abundant life.” -Michael John Cusick //: Do the Next Thing Check out Michael John Cusick’s website for more updates on what he’s doing!

What’s your word for the year? On this episode, Matt, Laurie, and Steve talk about what God has taught them in 2020 (yes—even in 2020!). Leaps of faith, major life changes, and—how could we forget?—Rona! Through it all, God has been faithful. Heading into 2021, then, the crew also addresses what God is pointing to for the future—thus, our words. With that—Happy New Year, and happy listening! //: Highlights “He is holding onto me when I’m not grabbing onto Him, when I grab for other things.” -Steve O’Dell “[Transactional interaction] is not the Father’s heart. He gives generously ‘cause He is so kind, but He wants a relationship!” -Laurie Krieg “And I remember feeling like, ‘God, did you bring us here to die?’ and He was just like, ‘Where were you? Have you not been watching what I’ve been doing?’” -Matt Krieg //: Do the Next Thing SUPPORT our new initiative-thank you. Just-thank you. Join our Facebook group to get updates and join the conversation! OR find Laurie on Instagram! Also—shameless plug—check out the Bible App and get started on a reading plan if you’re looking for deeper intimacy with God!

These days, it's so easy to fall into a "what-have-you-done-for-me-lately" mindset. We like following that person, we enjoy that podcast, we appreciate that channel--but serve them? Partner with them? Nah. Unless we do. We are so grateful for listeners who have stepped up to support and volunteer with our ministry--including the two we are highlighting today: Jon Leach and Amanda Mclaurin. These two were more than hearers of the Word, they were doers...and we are forever grateful. Hear their story, their "why" for saying yes to the Spirit's prompting, and how we can lean in where God is calling each of us on today's episode. Merry Christmas, guys! //: Highlights “I decided that if Jesus really meant that it was better that His Spirit was with me, then I could trust Him.” -Jon Leach “If the only thing stopping me is fear, then it’s time to dig in and start praying for faith and courage to move forward.” -Amanda McLaurin “As I was purposefully getting closer to Jesus, that proximity to Him, enabled me to to be passionate about His people and the people of the world that He cares about.” -Jon Leach “I don’t wanna kick down a door that God has closed, but I also don’t wanna stop knocking just because there’s initial resistance.” -Amanda McLaurin //: Do the Next Thing See how you too can partner with us here! Join our Facebook group!

Purity culture—yep, we’re going there. Ladies and gents—if you’ve ever felt that your worth, dignity, or purity were wrapped up in your sexuality, this is for you. On this episode, Rachel Joy Welcher, author of new book *Talking Back to Purity Culture*, helps us debunk the myths of sexuality that have come from purity culture. Join us as we celebrate the gospel and all the gifts Christ gives—even in our sexuality. //: Highlights “You can’t stop your spouse from sinning if they want to sin—but you can sure love them!” -Rachel Joy Welcher “You don’t fight sexual sin with sex. You fight sexual sin with self-control and love for the Lord and love for your neighbor.” -Rachel Joy Welcher “Our dignity cannot be changed and our purity cannot be changed, if we are in Christ.” -Rachel Joy Welcher //: Do the Next Thing Pre-order Rachel Joy Welcher’s book, Talking Back to Purity Culture. Join our Facebook group!

2020 has been a year of uncertainty and suffering for all of us. Joy might be the farthest thing from our minds as we look back on this season of loss and chaos. But guys? Joy is still God’s heart for us. Today, we hear from Shaunti Feldhahn about how we can cultivate a habit of joy—even in the midst of the deepest loss and confusion. Join us as we hear from her on this delightful gift that God has given and called us to. //: Highlights “[Joy] is something that you actually have to pursue, because it is there. It’s like the Kingdom—You know, Jesus talked so much about “My kingdom” being here, and the reality is it’s there, it's all around us. The reality is God’s presence with us is as close as our heartbeat, right? It’s Jesus in us….And yet because of [our] sinfulness, it’s so easy for us to focus on everything else that is going to steal that joy from us.” -Shaunti Feldhahn “[Joy] is there—but it is to be attended to.” -Shaunti Feldhahn “How do you [rejoice?]...You think on whatever is excellent. You think on whatever is lovely. You think on whatever is worthy of praise, rather than whatever is worthy of driving you nuts!” -Shaunti Felhahn //: Do the Next Thing Check out Shaunti’s latest book, Find Joy: A Devotional Journey to Unshakable Wonder in an Uncertain World.

Do you remember even two or four years ago when you could remind stirred-up Christians, "Hey, guys? We got to love our enemies!" and they would often say, "Oh, yeah!" Nowadays, when you say the same thing, it would not be unusual to hear something like, "Nah. I'm good." Pastor and author Scott Sauls is here to wake us up with how to address our enemies in this sometimes-hostile 2020 world. This is another conversation we will not soon forget. //: Highlights “Righteous anger attacks problems; raging anger attacks people….We’re supposed to love our enemies, not put them in their place.” -Scott Sauls “Jesus didn’t flip tables on the woman caught in adultery.” -Matt Krieg “I am so bad that I needed what Christ [did]—I needed the bloodbath on the cross in order to justly take care of what a trainwreck I am. And yet I was and am so loved by Him that He was not only willing but eager to go through the bloodbath in order to have me as His own. And if that’s what I’m operating out of, I just don’t know how you’re gonna offend me after that.” -Scott Sauls //: Do the Next Thing Check out Scott’s book, A Gentle Answer!

It’s Thanksgiving in the States! Today, from our respective shelter-in-place spots (again!), we are sharing what we are grateful for and hearing from you. Not only that, however, but we are sharing what we have learned in this very hard year, and how we can take that good, suffering-produced fruit into 2021. We are thankful for YOU guys, today! //: Highlights "I’m thankful for how much it’s had to scrape away false identities that I didn’t even know that I was holding onto. Because I am so ambitious and I have so much drive, that it could kill me—and us [Matt and Laurie]. I’m not saying I’m on the brink of breaking apart but I just was like, 'Jesus, I need your help.' Because I can make that my identity. And I’m so thankful for His surgeon-like precision of being like, 'Laurie, I’m your identity. It’s only me. Whether you "succeed" or fail—whatever. None of that matters. Just be in Me and you’ll produce much fruit—whatever that fruit is.' I am learning deeper intimacy as He strips away more of my false identities." -Laurie Krieg

We have been on pins and needles waiting to release this episode to you all! It is one of those episodes we can't stop thinking about... Author and pastor, John Mark Comer, brings it. He helps us to think deeply about questions like, "What is success?" "What defines failure?" "What do we do when we are overwhelmed with the calling God has on our lives?" "How do we understand our identity in the midst of the culture we live in?" Pop in those earbuds and go on that walk, do those dishes, make that Thanksgiving meal, but you may find you need to pause and take notes because this brother has some encouraging and exhortative things to say. //: Highlights: “For Paul, Christ did not die so that we do not have to. Christ died to show us how to die.” -John Mark Comer “The great tragedy of Western life is [that] it’s a lie. Nobody—even the most successful—nobody just keeps climbing the mountain. At some point, you face suffering, pain, failure, rejection, mistakes, regret, and often we don’t see it in the people we lionize, but that’s branding. It’s not because it’s not there.” -John Mark Comer “So in the old metrics, you knew if you were a good person if you were faithful to your spouse and you raised your children well and you worked hard that day. In the new metrics, you know if you’re a good person, so to speak, based on how many Instagram followers you have, how cool you are, how beautiful you are, how successful you are—these are brutal, punishing metrics that produce massive anxiety, fear, and existential angst in people. Which is why I think much of the gospel for Millennials and Gen Z going forward will be a better way to do identity.” -John Mark Comer //: Do the Next Thing: Check out John Mark Comer’s books, especially the latest The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry! Help us out! Review the podcast for us wherever you listen :)

Walking alongside people who wrestle with their gender identity is such a unique journey. Because it is so unique and often very complex, it's wise to hear from the experts, don't you think? Dr. Mark Yarhouse is one of the preeminent gender + psychology + Christianity experts, and we brought him on to share about his new book, Emerging Gender Identities, and help us to learn how to walk better alongside our friends who experience some level of gender + body dissonance. //: Highlights: “If you’re just a natural object, like a chemical compound…chemical compounds don’t interact with their classification. But if you classify people, a human kind, human beings respond and react to the language and categories you give them, and they begin to think of themselves differently.” -Dr. Mark Yarhouse “I don’t know that the ministry approach we’re taking to shepherding people is meeting people where they’re at. Because when you have to announce kind of a final decision of, ‘I was facing this fork in the road that was like a crisis for me”—maybe existentially, spiritually, psychologically—“and I was facing this and I didn’t bring anybody in from the church, or at least from the elders and shepherding pastors”…Rather than look at them and say, ‘Can we make sure that you do the right thing?’ I’m gonna look at myself and say, ‘Where are we not connecting in ministry?’” -Dr. Mark Yarhouse //: Do the Next Thing: Get Dr. Yarhouse's book! And listen to the podcast the last time we had Dr. Yarhouse!

Have you ever struggled to find quiet? In the world, in your life, in yourself? We’re here with singer/songwriter and now AUTHOR Jamie Grace to talk about what it looks like to find peace and center ourselves on the Lord in this crazy world we’re living in! Join us as we hear from her about artistry, anxiety, mental health, comparison, social media, and so much more! //: Highlights: “We have this misconstrued concept of what success is, and…we become so anxious as a culture and as a society and as a generation that we can’t find peace until we get the most, or the biggest, or the highest. And practically, we’ll never get the most or the biggest or the highest!” -Jamie Grace “If I am constantly trying to pursue the best or the most or the biggest or to be loved by all, to be known by all, to have my story shared with all, I will be completely depleted.” -Jamie Grace “It’s simply not worth it to pursue noise and volume.” -Jamie Grace “I believe that my God is a healer….I’ve seen God heal, I know what He can do….But who am I to say that God using my testimony is not my healing?” -Jamie Grace //: Do the Next Thing: Follow Jamie Grace (and also Laurie) on Instagram! Order Finding Quiet, Jamie’s new book, here! Check out the Pause App by John Eldredge and go find some quiet!

It’s the Hole in My Heart Podcast LIVE! True story: This was about Plan D of our celebratory-book-launch-party-worship fest (thanks, Rona!), but God was in it all the same. Today, Matt, Laurie, Steve, and some special guests celebrate the work of the gospel through Matt and Laurie’s story and through you all. There are testimonies, prizes, jokes, and GOOFBALL ISLAND is back for one night only. Thanks for being a part of this adventure, fam! //: Highlights: “You’ve wanted to write a book—*A* book—for a long time. But the fact that it’s this book reminds me that it’s the gospel that’s impossible. And as we live that out and reflect that through marriage or whatever we’re called to, we are living out an impossible thing because God’s the author of it. He calls us to impossible stuff, because He went first.” -Steve O’Dell “Are you willing to give your whole life into HIs hands and say, ’Not my will but yours, God. Will you make this impossible possible? Will you shape me into what you want it to be?’ ….And watch what He does! ….It’s gonna be better than you could write." //: Do the Next Thing: ORDER THE BOOK!!! Join the Hole In My Heart Facebook Page!

What does “fasting from your desire from sex” mean, and why was it so significant to Matt? Why do so many male Christian leaders fall sexually? Is “maintenance sex” good for marriages? How can guys access their hearts more (and how can women help)? Today we are concluding our deep-dive of themes in our Impossible Marriage book with a co-author, Matt Krieg. //: Highlights: “Oftentimes, because we are taught that sex is the thing that we're supposed chase—and we’re not supposed to be these emotional people, we’re supposed to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and get the job done…we just run to what feels good….It’s all very powerful, but it’s not just this physiological thing. It’s emotional.” -Matt Krieg //: Do the Next Thing: Order the book! Last day to register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop! Bonus: Check out Producer Steve on the radio! http://wcsg.org

We often encourage people to: "Live the Metaphor." It means, "show us heaven in how you live and love." Sure, in our Impossible Marriage book we mainly use the phrase to exhort married people, but SINGLE PEOPLE LIVE THE METAPHOR, TOO. How? One of our favorites, Greg Coles, brings the heat, the love, and the real-time conviction about how single people equally give us a glimpse of heaven, too. Bring it, Greg. Let's wake up, people. //: Highlights: “The Body of Christ is actually purposeful in having people are called to one vocation and another vocation, instead of turning us all into carbon copies of each other. So I think the healthy question that we can ask—any of us, single or married—as we’re thinking about fostering unity within the Body of Christ between us is, ‘How does my vocation equip me to serve the Body of Christ and to be the Body of Christ to the world in a way that a different vocation would not?’” -Dr. Greg Coles “I think the more we see each other as purposefully different characters in this joint story, the more ready we are to live as one without thinking of ourselves as identical to each other.” -Dr. Greg Coles //: Do the Next Thing: Check out our “Live the Metaphor” merch! Check out Greg’s website (and his amazing book!) here. Listen to our other podcast with Greg.

When past trauma affects today's living, it can be challenging to function in any way. In this first episode of our Impossible Marriage Moments' mini-series of three, we dive deep into that theme: Laurie experienced trauma's effects in her marriage, it magnetized to her attractions toward women, and together, they almost walked her to a divorce. What can we do if past trauma is affecting us now? What if it's gripping someone we love? Author and therapist, Dr. Dave Beach, guides us brilliantly toward some next right steps. //: Highlights: “Loving attachment is the crucible for a lot of raw stuff but a lot of healing. We’re harmed in relationship and we’re healed in relationship.” -Dr. David Beach “One of the facets of Jesus that I think brings us more compassion for others is ‘Jesus, Man of Sorrows.’” -Dr. David Beach “[T]he beauty of a traumatized story with growth and reconstruction is it’s the imprint—the thumbprint, if you will—of God, [of] the gospel. Because that’s what happens in the life of Jesus.” -Dr. David Beach //: Do the Next Thing: Check out books by Dr. David Beach and his wife, Cynthia, here! Pre-order the IMPOSSIBLE MARRIAGE book! Sign up for our Webinar!

We often talk about sexuality or racial equity--but what about when both hit home? Our new friend, Henry Abuto, helps us understand what it is like to live life as a Black man who is also a sexual minority (and an immigrant!), and how we can all engage each other like Jesus. //: Highlights: “When I’m not easily swayed by my emotions and I inform my feelings rather than just follow them blindly, that’s when I know I’m speaking from a centered place….If you [Laurie or Matt] leave conversations with each other after resolving conflict, do you feel encouraged and loved by that person, even through admonishment, or do you just feel beat down? If the person feels beat down and discouraged by the things you said to them, then even if you were correct, you were still wrong because of the posture of your heart.” -Henry Abuto Do the Next Thing! Check out Henry Abuto’s articles here! That Barna research we referenced? Here: Pre-Order our book! :)

He's Black. She's white. He has his past. She has hers. Then they get married. Guys, we have our REAL LIFE FRIENDS in the house, and they are here to show us a microcosm of the critical bridging of divides that must happen in our world. How do they bridge barriers in their marriage? What can we learn from them about bridging racial divides today? Chaplain of the Kent County jail, Jason Botbyl and his wife, Julie, are here to help us out. //: Highlights: “I think to live life fully, especially in Christ, there needs to be this vibrant, diverse atmosphere, which I think people are really wanting right now.”-Jason Botbyl “I know that I’m going to see someone that is made in the Image of God and I know that they need Jesus—that’s a fact. And so, let’s go see what Jesus has for the both of us today.” -Jason Botbyl “The power of the gospel is just so redemptive—redeeming, buying back what was lost, what was broken.” -Julie Botbyl “I just picture the cross. There’s this barrier, but I picture the cross in front of the barrier.”-Julie Botbyl //: Do the Next Thing! Pre-Order the IMPOSSIBLE MARRIAGE book!! Register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop! If you’d like to connect with Jason and Julie, email Laurie at [email protected].

If you've been around the church for a while, you know the verse: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 has been showing up on coffee mugs and social media posts for years...but what if, as Megan Fate Marshman says, "we've been holding onto the wrong promises"? Join us today as we hear from Megan about how to rightly interpret Scripture and hold onto the right promises--promises that will blow your mind if you let them. May you be deeply encouraged in the listening. //: Highlights: “‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future’ were words written to a specific people at a specific time and I fear we’ve been holding onto those as promises for ourselves. And we go through COVID-19 and it doesn’t feel like plans to do all of that so then we start to distrust our God, when we’ve been holding onto the wrong promises.” -Megan Fate Marshman “The way Paul is defining good in Romans 8:29 is this: to form us more into the likeness of Jesus. And if that’s the case, if that’s God’s definition of good, than He can use all things.” -Megan Fate Marshman “'Even if’ is not my common word. Too often, I use these words: ‘But God, what if?’ …’What if?’ breeds fear. ‘Even if’ breeds faith. And why can we say ‘even if’? Because God knows the plans: Jeremiah 29:11.” -Megan Fate Marshman //: Do the Next Thing: Get Megan’s new book, Meant For Good! Pre-Order the Impossible Marriage book! (Releasing October 27th!!)

Do you wrestle with shame? Us, too. Today, we hear from Curt Thompson, author of The Anatomy of the Soul and the Soul of Shame, about how shame affects us, specifically in this pandemic time. Join us as we learn the roots of shame, how to hear from God, practices that help deal with shame, how to meet each other in it--and even talk about Jesus' lightsaber! This week's episode is balm to the stressed and shame-filled soul and we are deeply grateful for Curt's wisdom. //: Highlights: “What's the next new thing that God is gonna create? What is the next artifact of beauty that’s gonna happen here in the next five minutes?” -Curt Thompson “Shame isn’t now telling these stories for the first time, it’s just that COVID now gives these stories an opportunity to come full-blown into their maturation. It’s not like it’s creating our problems, it’s just revealing that these are the kinds of people that we are and these are the kinds of people that we always have been.” -Curt Thompson “We are not just made to be known…We’re made to be known on the way to then create beauty and goodness in the world.” -Curt Thompson //: Do the Next Thing: Pre-Order the Book!!! Listen to Episodes 64 and 65, where we discuss what shame is with Curt. Check out Curt Thompson’s books, The Soul of Shame and the Anatomy of the Soul.

Raise your hand if you've ever felt lonely! In this pandemic world we're living in--and even more, just in general--loneliness is something we all experience--and none of us talk about. Today, we welcome Jason Gaboury, author of Wait With Me, to tackle the uncomfortable and vitally important topic of loneliness. Why do we experience it? What do we do about it? Where is God in the midst of it? Join us as we answer these questions and more this week! //: Highlights: “What most people don’t know is that the Christian tradition, that the Bible itself, has powerful tools that can lead people through loneliness into deep connection with God, deep connection with themselves, and deeper compassion for other people.” -Jason Gaboury “Jesus doesn’t skip to the end...God isn't that kind of God. [He is r]adically present to you…Radically present right here, right now, in the midst of this.” -Jason Gaboury “That feeling of loneliness. That feeling of ‘I need to connect with other people for it to be right’—That’s not a result of the Fall, that’s not a result of sin. And the fact that we feel shame about needing other people is…because we’re formed as Western individualists, not biblical Christians. Biblical Christians should feel no more shame in feeling lonely than they do of their need for food and sleep.” -Jason Gaboury //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Jason Gaboury’s book, Wait With Me! While you’re at it, check out “Spiritual Disciplines for Seasons of Loneliness,” also by Jason Gaboury. Join our BOOK LAUNCH TEAM!

It’s Election Time! Is the gospel still good news...? Today, we invite Michael Wear, Chief Strategist of the AND Campaign, to discuss how to hold onto Christ’s heart in the midst of intense election year. For a few years now, Michael and the AND Campaign have been wrestling with the tension of unity and diversity, especially when engaging in politics. Join us as we discuss unity in the Body of Christ, primary and secondary issues, how to speak up with grace, and how to receive grace from Jesus as we vote. //: Highlights: “The vocational question that has sorta guided my life is, ‘What does it mean to be faithful in public things?’” -Michael Wear "As Christians, in all of life, we are not responsible for the outcome of things that happen. We are to steward the influence and responsibility that we have in the most faithful way that we know how.” -Michael Wear “The state of our politics is a reflection of the state of our souls.” -Michael Wear //: Do the Next Thing: Go and get Compassion and Conviction. Do it. And follow & Campaign on all the things. It will edify you. While you’re clicking around, we’d love to hear from you via a review of the podcast, or simply by sharing the episode with a friend. “Hey, I thought you might like these guys.” Also, you can now join our launch team for the NEW Impossible Marriage book! Do it today!

Has it ever been hard for you to come to Jesus? What do we do in those moments? When we are at the end of our rope, how to do we approach God exactly as we are? Today, we welcome Rashawn Copeland, author of Start Where You Are, to discuss his experiences with these questions and more. Rashawn brings good and gracious wisdom to the table, inviting us to come to God from the place we're in--not where we think we should be--and trust Him to meet us there. Join us as we hear Rashawn's heart on this issue and others, always coming back to how the gospel is good news for everyone, everyday. //: Highlights: “I wouldn’t go to God as I actually was, I always went to Him how I pretended to be. And I just want to encourage someone to go to Him with a broken and contrite heart…That’s the sacrifice He loves. Come to Him…with all your mess, all your brokenness, and He’ll meet you there. He wants to. He’s longing. He said, ‘Draw near to Me, and I’ll draw near to you.'” -Rashawn Copeland “Even if you feel too dirty, you’re not too dirty to be cleansed. You’re not too broken to be fixed. You’re not too unworthy to be loved. Just come to God as you are and He’ll take you where you need to be.” -Rashawn Copeland //: Do the Next Thing: This week's dare: share this podcast with ONE person! Check out I'm So Blessed Daily's website here: And like their Facebook page here: Pre-order Rashawn Copeland's book, Start Where You Are, today!

Parents...this is your week! This week, Matt and Laurie take your questions on the advice they give to parents of LGBTQ+ kids--and, really, it's just good advice for everyone, always coming back to the gospel and the purpose of our lives in God's eyes. Topics include: What is the advice we offer to all parents of LGBT+ kids? Would we bake the cake/do the photography/do therapy for a same-sex couple? How do we know if we are called to marriage or singleness? //: Highlights: “The most—for me—winsome reason for God’s design for marriage being between men and women is because we’re so different. God did that on purpose. Because if Matt and I, in our difference can be one...I’m showing you a gospel picture...” -Laurie Krieg "I don’t know how to answer the singleness piece, but the marrying piece, it had to be [Laurie]. God didn’t want me to just marry anyone. He didn’t call me to general marriage—He called me to [Laurie].” - Matt Krieg "It’s important to not make [marriage]...an idol, to not make that thing the focus of my worship, but to take it as a gift from the One I worship.” -Steve O’Dell //: Do the Next Thing: And while you're at it, check out Laurie's YouTube Channel! Listen to Episode #123: Single but Not Solitary with Peter Valk, to learn more about the call to singleness here. Also, check out Greg Coles' book Single, Gay, Christian here. Jump on our sale this month--FREE SHIPPING on our Journey Well Study for the month of August! Find it here. Sign up for our next webinar: "What We Tell Every Parent of an LGBT+ Child" on September 15th (it's free if you become one of our partners!). Find registration here.

Welcome to Season 4! We're kicking off this season with a discussion on endurance and courage! What do we do when suffering hits and we're called upon to continue in the work God has given us? Join Matt, Laurie, and Steve as we explore practices and experiences that help build up "endurance muscles" for any form of suffering. //: Highlights: “More and more, [looking back] instills more trust that the God we worship is going to be with me.” -Matt Krieg “Staying in the world, where God has us, is where endurance is required—*and* dependence on Him is required.” -Steve O’Dell “ ...[I]f I can do that vulnerable place and open it up to Jesus, throughout the day, if I’m continuing that practice, I actually am able to receive surprises from Him.” -Laurie Krieg //: Do the Next Thing: Join our Facebook group for weekly discussions of each podcast! Sign up for our next webinar Saturday, August 1, 9:30-11am EST to hear more about the practice of lament in everyday life! And here's the DARE this week: Share this podcast with ONE person!

Guys! It's the season three finale! After walking through this episode, we felt this season gutted us in the best way and offered hope when we needed it. We did get practical (our theme this season), and we did get real (our constant desire). We were so grateful to listen back to highlight clips from some of our favorites and yours: 1. Episode 99:A Gender Conversation Part 2 Heather Skriba 2. Episode 92: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 2 with Johnny and Amanda 3. Episode 96: Healthy Friendship and Touch as a Single Person with Meg Baatz 4. Episode 104: Practically Living Life in the Presence of God with Ken Boa 5. Episode 109: When Life Doesn't Go as Planned with Sheridan Voysey 6. Episode 128: Engaging Today's Suffering with Hope with Sam and Toni Collier 7. Episode 116: Maturity is Not an Option with John Eldredge Join us as we pick up themes from each episode, and, of course, talk about how the gospel was good news for us this season. Thanks for being a part of the podcast fam, fam! See you in August! *You can find the links to all of the above episodes here. //: Highlights: "I'm so glad that he's living in the open. And I know that pain of the deceit, and the having to hide and to mitigate every circumstance of being found out, and it's so much better on the other side." -Matt Krieg "Every one of us can take something away from that because we've all experience some kind of heartbreak, disappointment...whatever. And...that just really helped me to...look at it differently. And that's what intimacy with God does, it reframes that stuff." -Steve O'Dell "Let's get gritty...Let's turn into gold, because the fire's gonna hurt but if we're staying in the fire with Jesus and with each other, we are going to be gold." -Laurie Krieg //: Do the Next Thing: Take our HIMH Podcast Survey to help us make season four the best yet! Take advantage of our BOGO deal for Journey Well. Listen to Matt and Laurie's story here. And Producer Steve's story here.

*Real* talk: Authenticity seems to be currency we can "use" to deepen friendships, feel seen, or even to get more followers. But that type of authenticity--that is an end in itself--isn't what we are calling "authentic authenticity." There is selfishness in it, and the fruit produced from it ... tastes gross. How can we and why should we be truly authentic? How can single people experience this? How can married people if their spouse is unwilling to go to the emotional depths? Let's get this this real conversation rolling with author and Fierce Marriage creator, Ryan Frederick. *Note: The QOTW we give at the end of this episode was answered in 128. 128's is answered next week in 131. ;) Sorry about that!* //: Highlights: “The beauty of [speaking emotionally deep] is that it is not a skill that is un-learnable. It’s not something that people cannot overcome. The biggest hurdle is just the desire…until that desire is there, it’s like pulling teeth.” --Ryan Frederick “One of the biggest issues of our day and age and culture is not the conscious, ‘I’m burying this thing because I just don’t want to got here,’ it’s more, ‘I’m just so distracted I’m not even thinking about going there.’” --Ryan Frederick “Prayer is not nothing. What is prayer if it is not our expression of our need for God’s explicit intervention in our lives?” --Ryan Frederick //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Ryan and Selena's latest book See-Through Marriage here. Their Fierce Marriage site? Here. There's a conversation happening on our HIMH Pod FB page! Join it here. Take our end-of-season survey HERE!

Today is question and answer time with Matt and Laurie! We cover a lot including these questions: How did we first meet Steve? How do we handle Pride Month? How do we plan to address our mixed-orientation marriage with our kids? How can straight, single guys and girls be friends without the relationship getting weird? If we, as a married couple, invite a single person into our home how can we prevent it from becoming a situation where one of us falls in love with the single person? How can I care for my bisexual friend without compromising my beliefs or pushing my beliefs on her? How can I be committed to a worldview that has caused so much pain and depression for so many LGBTQ+ people? How do we grieve well—whether for trivial things or deep, human loss? Let's go, fam. //: Highlights: “It always has to be this recognition of what is good about Pride Month—about people being able to be open and not hidden. But there is also this sorrow: … the unity that comes from Pride Month is not oriented toward your relationship with God, it’s about something completely different.” —Matt “Ya’ll, we got to repent for the last x decades of idolatry of marriage, idolatry of sex in marriage, and really? Not honoring this thing that we have eye-rollingly said is ‘Every man’s battle, every woman’s battle,’ and ‘Oh, just hurry up and get hitched and put a ring on your lust.’” —Laurie “Yes, it costs LGBT+ people something to follow Jesus, but the gospel should cost all of us our lives. And if it is not, are we actually following Jesus?” —Laurie //: Do the Next Thing: That BOGO deal for our Journey Well Study? (We will send you two for the price of one!) It's here. We mention "Safe Place Prayer with Matt" podcast episode. It's here. Follow us on the IG.

**FIRST: We have VIDEO!! WATCH this episode here.** In the midst of national and global suffering, it seems almost wrong to put the word "hope" near it. However, pastor and author Sam Collier, alongside his wife and ministry leader, Toni Collier, know how to carry both hurt and hope in each hand. How can we do that, too? Just ... listen. //: Highlights: “It’s impossible to pursue justice without hope.” –Sam “The gospel compels us to be one. I don’t think we get the luxury as believers to forfeit the fight of racism or anything that is keeping us apart. It is a gospel mandate. People say, ‘Just preach the gospel.’ This is the gospel.” —Sam “We all need to get into our brains the if we are to demand equality, fairness, and love for our own sphere of influence in the world, we dang sure better be willing to demand it and stand for it for everybody else.” —Toni //: Do the next thing: GO and preorder Sam's book! Find it here. Broken Crayons Still Color page that Roni founded? Here. Follow them on the socials here and here. The Journey Well Study we mention? Find it here.

How would you respond if you found pornography on your kid's phone? (Listeners without kids but who are equally valuable disciple-makers: How would you recommend your friend respond to their kids if they found this?) Author and speaker, Lee Neinhuis, had to deal with this exact situation, and it taught her, her son, and her family a lot about grace and truth. But how do we engage not only this specific satiation, but how do we cultivate deep roots in our kids/friend's kids/youth group kids when they are growing up in this extremely challenging cultural context? Let's dive in. //: Highlights: "I know my own battle, I know my junk. I know what I think in my head ... They do not give you blinders when you head down the altar ... I notice all the same men the day before I got married, and I still feel attracted to them. I still have to tell myself 'no' every day ... So, I'm just not surprised. I think if a parent doesn't spend some time exploring, 'What are you tempted toward?' and 'Where are you broken?' then this is going to catch them at a totally different level." --Lee Neinhuis "He has a testimony that involves [pornography]. I never would have wanted that, but I am so grateful that we fell in that pit, and we walked out as a family stronger." --Lee Neinhuis //: Do the Next Thing Find all of Lee's beautiful work here. Her book? Here. Find that Mom's in Prayer Podcast and more here. Follow us and all of our own parenting/marriage madness on IG here.

Do you know anyone processing past trauma while muddling through this pandemic trauma? Maybe it is you? Maybe it is a friend? Maybe it will be someone you meet tomorrow? How can we hear and love them well? How can we care for ourselves if we have gone through pain in our past and things have resurfaced in the pandemic? How can we process how this season has been challenging for everyone--whether or not we have gone through another traumatic event? How can we process our pain? Speaker and author of "We Too," Mary DeMuth, has some tender, encouraging words for us today. //: Highlights: "Things that stay inside don't do well ... An untold story never heals." --Mary DeMuth "This is hard. Whether you have had trauma or not, this is hard. But just because everyone is experiencing it doesn't mean it's not real to you." --Mary DeMuth "Err on the side of belief ... it's not up to you to try to dissect and try to figure out if it's true or not. If it isn't true it will come out in the end, but wouldn't you want your first response to be empathetic? Wouldn't that be Jesus' first response: empathy?" --Mary DeMuth "I try to look at [the healing journey] like an adventure because healing is difficult. If I look at healing like climbing Mount Rainier in Washington State, it seems a lot more interesting to me ... It's not going to be easy, it will be very difficult, but it's an adventure. Instead of dreading this fact that you had this flash of a memory, see it as a healing adventure." --Mary DeMuth //: Do the Next Thing: Explore more of Mary's resources related to "We Too" here. Find Mary's book, "We Too" here. Sign up to stay in touch with what is happening here. Read about a time I processed trauma through a prayer process here.

This conversation feels like sitting down with a dear friend over tea. I can envision us starting out with a sigh, a sip of Earl Grey, and saying: "So, this pandemic has been hard. I haven't *only* been running to Jesus. I've made some mistakes. Can you help think through what is going on in my heart?" Bestselling author and speaker, Dee Brestin, hears our words, gently translates them into heart idols (power/control, comfort, or approval), and offers us some really practical next steps. This conversation is what our ragged souls need. //: Highlights: "God has given us these needs that he promises to meet...but if we do not trust him to comfort us, if we do not believe he really loves us, if we do not like the way He is doing things, then we will substitute something else." --Dee Brestin "Idols pretend to be our friends, and then they turn around and cut us to pieces... Play the whole tape out and see where this is going to end." --Dee Brestin "Sing to your soul. Sing the truth about Me to your soul...and I will come to you if you just wait. You will feel so good in a little while." --Dee Brestin //: Do the Next Thing: Find Dee's Idol Lies book here. Dee has some great testimonies on idolatry here. The episode I referred to about lament/forgiveness? Here. Diagnose your heart idols via Tim Keller here. The expulsive power of a new affection sermon? Find it here. A bunch more resources can be found on our podcast episode page here.