Grow Yourself Up

In episode 20 we look at why learning to put down boundaries is an essential part of actually getting our needs met. This episode (which is a re-release) is packed with suggestions, tips and ways to support yourself around boundaries and needs.In this episode Cath discusses the consequences of not meeting needs and why meeting them is therefore so important. We look at how tending to our needs is inextricably linked with boundaries, challenges around boundary setting and how this connects to our own nervous systems.There are lots of practical suggestions and guidelines to assist in putting down boundaries. Towards the end there is a discussion around how to manage boundaries and needs and the complexities of this as a new parent.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Cath looks at how we can balance our own healing with raising children. She shares an analogy which might help you tend to your needs, especially if you struggle to allow yourself to prioritise your needs, because you learnt how to put your needs last. Cath explains why looking afteryourself is vital and an important role as a parent.She shares some concepts from 'Attachment Theory', referencing the work of John Bowlby, Mary Main and Mary Ainsworth. These are important toconsider because secure attachment is what we are aiming for, both for ourselves and our children.Many of us gain secure attachment in adulthood, through therapy and our own healing work. Cath talks about emotional regulation, what happens when we operate out of our survival states and borrows a term from economics as she explains a concept she uses to illustrate what happens when we have big responsesto our children's big feelings. She shares some detailed real life examples to help illustrate the point. This is a de-shaming, educational episode packed with insights.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath reflects on how, when we are on a healing journey, the most important thing in the present moment is to develop a warm, supportive, loving relationship with all the different parts of ourselves. How do we actually do this though? What helps with this? Cath speaks to how we progress with this in the episode and shares details of how self-compassion is useful in her life and in parenting in general. With a hilarious story towards the end, she draws from the work of Kristin Neff and the book she refers to is (Self Compassion) by Kristin Neff.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath talks about decision making in our adult love relationships.She talks about friendship, the important role of mentalisation (Peter Fonagy and Anthony Bateman) and shares a really useful tool for decision making.She references the work of John and Julie Gottman (The Gottman Institute) and shares an idea from Esther Perel. Including storytelling and vignettes from Cath’s own life. If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath discusses how overdoing, overworking and being constantly busy are ways in which many of us have learnt to manage life. We operate with our nervous systems in the ON position all the time, never giving ourselves space and time to recuperate. For many of us this way of being has been how we have kept ourselves safe, so starting to give it up is complex and takes time.Cath speaks about why it can feel so hard to unwind this pattern and some of the nervous system details behind this. She shares honestly some of her own challenges with this and how this has showed up over the past 2 years. Towards the end, Cath refers to the work of Tricia Hersey (The Nap Ministry) and Tamu Thomas (Live Three Sixty).If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath encourages listeners to develop resources for themselves to assist them on their own healing journey.She discusses how tempting it is to try and ‘do healing’ as quickly as possible and how in fact this is not actually possible. Real change takes time and being gentle with ourselves is more effective than beating up on ourselves to try and speed up change.Cath talks about how we develop resilience using a concept from Somatic Experiencing (developed by Peter Levine) and the powerful role Joy plays in this. If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this psychoeducational episode Cath talks about trauma, what it is, the way it has been conceptualised and changed over time. And why it is important to understand.She also provides some historical background and explains how and why we have learnt so much in the last 30 years. Cath also offers some useful definitions of trauma and concepts to help you understand your own history and explains trauma responses. She talks about the ACE's study and the important role this played in advancing our knowledge.The two books that are referenced in this podcast are, 'The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk and Lost Connections by Johann Hari'.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath talks about a simple assessment framework we can use when making decisions (about careers) and everything else in life.Cath talks about coming into a sense of our own power and agency and why that can sometimes be so hard and how it links to our childhood. She explains the concept of post traumatic growth and why it is so important as we move forward with our lives. She provides encouragement around stepping into your light.Cath shares about her own career path, her failures, her career changes and what motivated her decision making process, and how and why this has changed over time.This raw and real episode is filled with hope and will give you a spring in your step as you contemplate your own beautiful future.The book Cath refers to in the podcast is called "Return to Love", by Marianne Williamson.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming into relationship with our needs is a process, an ongoing investigative journey. In this episode we look at:Some of the blockers to this.How being in a dysfunctional family is like being stuck in a traffic jam.We do a dive into some nervous system science (based on the work of Stephen Porges and Deb Dana) to explain how your own body may hamper your ability to meet your needs.Explanation of how meeting your needs may threaten your sense of self depending on how love was considered to operate in your family.Discussion of how meeting your needs is necessary as opposed to selfish.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this honest and personal episode Cath looks on a more granular level at some of the challenges of being present in our own adult love relationships after having children.She makes some suggestions around acknowledging and holding space for each other, allowing each person their own reality. Through some storytelling and using her own relationship, she suggests ways to share our individual emotional experience, while not making the other adult responsible for it. If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this searingly honest and personal episode Cath looks at the challenges of being present in our own adult love relationships after having children.She dismantles the myth of having it all ‘sorted’ and encourages a really honest look at each of the contexts so that they can be held within a couples relationship. Through some storytelling and using her own relationship she suggests ways to deal with challenge and conflict, and how to give each other space and how to try and create space for you both as a couple. This episode is an answer to a listener question.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 9 is a continuation of the psycho education from episode 8.Everyone needs to know about their windows of tolerance and get to know their own nervous systems. This episode explains more about how we can be emotionally present with our kids, why we may have a narrow window of tolerance, how it is absolutely possible to widen our window of tolerance, including more about how we can actually do this. Cath refers to the work of Dr Bruce Perry in this episode.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 8 is focused on psycho education to assist you in understanding yourself and your responses. In this episode Cath explains our windows of tolerance, how they are formed and what impacts them.Coregulation and the concept of a parent being our self regulating other are discussed. The book that is referenced is ‘The Interpersonal World of the Infant’ by Daniel Stern. Cath explains more about why this is an important concept to consider in our parenting and our lives.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Those who are working to shift toxic cycles in their own lives and in their families are called 'cycle breakers' on social media.This is a powerful position and it can feel like we need to do this perfectly. In this episode Cath speaks to this, the pressure inherent in this and suggests a gentler path giving reasons why this is actually really important.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath discusses what a shift we need to make as parents around holidays. Episode 6 is a continuation of some of the themes from Episode 5 and it can also stand alone.Cath discusses some of the emotional adjustments we need to make as parents when considering leisure time with kids, and using nervous system science she suggests ways that you can support yourself and your kids over the holiday period. This episode will hold and support you as you consider and plan the next couple of months.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we discuss hard days in parenting and how often our coping mechanisms from childhood can make these days harder.We discuss the development of perfectionism and some pointers about why this is decimating in motherhood. Cath also talks about our inner critics. Including some suggestions on what else we could focus on and words of encouragement to support you on the inevitable hard days.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 4 we continue with the theme of needs and this episode is packed with suggestions, tips and ways to support yourself around boundaries and needs.In this episode we look at:The consequences of not meeting needs and why it is therefore so important to tend to ourselves.How tending to our needs is inextricably linked with boundaries.The challenges of boundaries and what this has to do with our own nervous system.Practical suggestions and guidelines to assist in putting down boundaries.New parents and boundaries and needs and the complexities of this.Book Cath mentioned by Gabor Mate is called 'When the Body Says No'.Stackable habits is an idea from Atomic Habits by James Clear, this is a useful concept when we are time and energy poor.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cultivating joy is a really important aspect of healing and recovery. As well as working to change dysfunctional patterns in our lives it is also important to bring in that which nourishes us, sustains us, and brings in love and beauty. In this episode we look at:Do you have an idea of what those joyful things might be? For your? For your family? What do you want your family culture to look like?Here also we need to consider how we can work with (as opposed to against) our nervous system so that we don't traumatise/re-traumatise ourselves in the pursuit of this joy.Examples and anecdotes to demonstrate these points.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming into relationship with our needs is a process, an ongoing investigative journey. In this episode we look at:1.Some of the blockers to this.2.How being in a dysfunctional family is like all being stuck in the same jam and what we would like to create instead.3.We do a dive into some nervous system science (based on the work of Stephen Porges and Deb Dana) to explain how your own body may hamper your ability to meet your needs.4.Explanation of how meeting your needs may threaten your sense of self depending on how love was considered to operate in your family.5.Discussion of how meeting your needs is necessary as opposed to selfish.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we cover:Why meeting our needs is the gateway to personal agency and being in our own power in our lives.A discussion of how we first come into contact with our needs.Explanations of why what happened in our childhood is so important and how this relates to how we tend to ourselves now.Some suggestions and tips about what to start focusing on if you have no idea about how to tend to your needs.An anecdote from Cath's life.There is no need to have shame if you don't know how to meet your needs. Many of us grew up tending to the needs of our parents and as a result are disconnected from what we may need. This can be changed in adult life. There is SO much hope. Referenced the work of Allan Schore and Dan Siegel.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grow Yourself Up is a podcast to support all of us in our adult lives. Many of us did not get our needs adequately met in childhood. The devastating legacy of childhood trauma, wounding and traumatic stress lives on in our brains, our bodies, our nervous systems and our behaviour/reactions impacting the way we turn up to our lives in many ways.We are going to unpack all of this on Grow Yourself Up. This podcast will be a companion as you journey on your own road of healing and recovery. You will learn you are not alone. Someone has been where you are. There is hope. We will break down shame together and learn to cultivate self compassion. There is always the possibility for change. And regardless of what has happened in our past, as adults we have to take responsibility for our own lives. We have to tend to our pain, our sadness and our dysfunction so that we can live a life we love and shift toxic patterns for our children. If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.