Goop Yourself

Before diving into the newsletters, we talk frankly about the national tragedy that was Gwyneth's appearance on the The Late Show last night. It was shocking and sad for everyone involved. Then it’s on to crystal water bottles, basic coffee mugs, allergic children, and Jenna Lyons's inappropriate nudity. Please rate and review us five stars on Apple Podcasts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We come to you on a Monday morning for an extra pod dissecting the GOOP Magazine Sex & Love issue (the one where Brad Falchuck shares the cover with his goopy betrothed, some jeans and a couple of plain white tees.) We discuss love potions, seduction recipes, vagina flowers, and the dark cloud of gloom that is Esther Perel. Save your $14.99 get all your goop magazine needs met right here. Ashwaghanda! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week goop's hitting the bong pretty hard. There's an incomprehensible article about THE HUMAN MIND and a riveting story about Jean going to a sound bath in the Hamptons. Plus, we think Gwyneth might have been indoctrinated into a cult run by her soon to be sister-in-law. Time will tell. We also discuss cheap wine, pink jumpsuits, napa cabbage recipes, and Scientology aprons. The Goop Magazine Issue 2 pod will drop on Monday! God bless. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're back!! After a winter hiatus, Aggie and Bryan return with a double length pod to talk about all the goop news you missed over the New Year. We discuss Gwyneth's engagement, detox options, flame retardants, cheek tints, and happiness diets. Yes, we also (briefly) discuss the coffee enema. Please rate us five stars and review us on Apple Podcasts. Auld Lang Syne! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On what might be Aggie and Bryan's final pod before the Christmas break, we discuss hangover relief options, a guide to Orange County, $400 travel dresses, dreams of Malibu, and a truly insane last minute gift guide. But the week belongs to goop's new Senior Beauty Editor, Megan, who publishes her morning routine and shoots to the top of our list of all time goop icons. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Feliz Navidad! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The goop newsletters are extremely abbreviated and disappointing so Aggie and Bryan review this fall's two hottest movies, Woody Allen's "Wonder Wheel" and Louis C.K.'s "I Love You Daddy." We do finally get to goop, touching down on modeling with your children, Hannukah recipes, martinis, pops of color, and sad smoothies. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Blessings! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aggie and Bryan return to the pod after a glorious Thanksgiving. We discuss why men are assholes for wanting to make more money than their wives, and why mothers are assholes for telling their daughters their teeth are "tarnished." We also address the controversy surrounding the new Goop Health Summit, who Dr. Kelly Brogan is, and why Dr. Jen Gunter wants to take her down. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and on twitter @goopyourselfpod. Please rate and review us on Apple Pod. Joyeux Fetes! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yes it's that time again, the Annual Goop Gift Guide! We cover everything, from antique canoes and feathered sex rings to pet psychics and homeless marathon runners. Whether your kid wants a wooden jump rope or a $9500 bar cart, look no further than Gwyneth Paltrow's sick little mind. This holiday season go to Goop Yourself for all your gifting needs. Happy Thanksgiving! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode we talk about sleep strategies and why unplugging before bed seems impossible. Bryan recounts his initial trip into the world of retinol and Aggie debates whether to go on a high carb sweet potato diet. We also discuss diamond company sponsered art classes for little girls, clean hair dye, drinking apple cider vinegar, veggie side dishes, and Louis CK's disgusting new movie. Be sure to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts and follow us on insta @goopyourself and on twitter @goopyourselfpod. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we talk about sleep. How do we do it, why do we need it, and what drugs we need to take to get there. Goop delves into drastic weight loss solutions, fall floral prints, how women can stay creative AND find love, and pressure cooker recipes. Thank you for your patience as we address our audio issues! Be sure to follow us @goopyourself on instagram and @goopyourselfpod on twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wow this episode is long! You're very welcome. We battle on Twitter with a certain "doctor," but he is small potatoes compared with The Medical Medium, who triumphantly returns to goop on the wings of Spirit and insane thyroid cancer advice. We also talk about off-season Hamptons, winter squash, Jean's beauty regime, healing mushrooms, and literary novels. Follow us on instagram @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Be sure to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Spirit says: Thank you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Saturday and we're drinking wine! We talk retinol, fall foliage, lip stains, and SIBO (Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth.) We include harrowing audio footage from Jules Blaine Davis, a kitchen "healer" who thinks she invented the concept of snacking. We also debate the 1998 Best Actress Race and share our thoughts on the Marvel Universe. Follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter and don't forget to rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcast. We promise to read your reviews next week! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For once, Gwyneth makes some non-Goop related news, but unfortunately it has to do with the monster Harvey Weinstein. Besides ripping the scab off of Hollywood's systemic misogyny we talk about empathy overdoses, infidelity coping strategies, sourdough bread baking, and apps that help you organize your life. Please make sure to follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Thanks for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we take you on a magical journey to the Goop Lab in the Brentwood Country Mart, where one can try all the expensive lotions they can't afford and watch rich people act like their true monster selves. We also learn how terrible plastic straws are, how chiropractors probably shouldn't be diagnosing autoimmune diseases, and how a new sugar subsitute will be taking the world by storm. Plus diet updates, face oil reviews, and a special cameo by BB the dog. Please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts and follow us on insta @goopyourself and on twitter @goopyourselfpod Woof woof! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Huge news! Bryan and Aggie are switching up their fasting protocol. How? Why? Listen and find out. We also discuss the insanity of keto diets, goop's disappointing wine partnership, Gwyneth's pity/bitchy interview face, and the twin tragedies of scar tissue and natural childbirth. Please continue to rate and review us 5 stars and follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter. Dhanyavaad! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's goop is all about dead people - talking to them, understanding them, and becoming them yourself. Aggie and Bryan go though the ringer (mediums, near death experiences, psychics) and realize we believe it all, every word of it. Thanks goop! We also touch on fancy baths, at home workouts, and pyramid scheme charities. EDIT: APPARENTLY A GHOST IS HAUNTING US - PLEASE EXCUSE THE SOUND ISSUES ON THIS EPISODE. IT GETS BETTER AT ABOUT 16 MINUTES. WE'LL TRY TO FIX IF POSSIBLE! Please follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod and rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts. See you later! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We get deep into Goop Magazine Issue One Fall 2017. It's a real paper object that you can flip through! We talk Bento Boxes, Racist Travel To India, Cool Fonts, Kitchen Healers, Reiki, Grief Getaways, and more. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and on twitter @goopyourselfpod. God is good!!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, we made it to episode 50! This week we celebrate ourselves, as well as Goop's magazine launch and expansion into retail. We talk Vitamin C, poop samples, Lake Tahoe, face brushing, and mini trampolines you bring to work! Plus diet updates and Canadian reviews. Please follow us on inst @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Thanks, eh!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week goop is all about Chronic Lyme Disease. You know, that dehabilitating condition caused by tick bites that may or may not exist. GP and co. give us advice from a sextet of doctors who recommend everything from antibiotics to controlled vomiting and bloodletting. There's also talk of denim trenchcoats, $100 acne masques, and terrible parental advice. Plus, Aggie & Bryan give their diet updates and celebrate the imminent launch of goop's glossy magazine. Please follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter. Gomawo! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

While the TINA investigation is still in full force, Gwyneth fiddles while goop burns and tries to distract us with tons of content and podcast appearances. We discuss alternative animal milks, expensive acne treatment, colonoscopy prep, parties in the Hamptons, and trends in denim! We also have an intermittent fasting update and read your reviews live! Keep those 5 stars coming, and follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Dank je! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's been a HUGE week in the Goopiverse. TINA (Truth In Advertising) is recommending Goop to be investigated for harmful and illegal health claims. Can you believe it? Unfortunately, this means the newsletters will be a snooze for the foreseeable future (no more Yoni eggs or earthing.) Aggie and Bryan catch you up on the latest legal news, discuss their fasting strategies, and guide you through a field of avocados, denim, and nontoxic bug spray. Remember to follow on insta @goopyourself, twitter @goopyourselfpod, and rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Спасибо! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's goop is all about Barry & Phil, two old shrinks who may or may not have sex with each other. They devised "The Tools," tricks that will help you defeat "Part X" and live your best life. Sounds boring? It is! Luckily Aggie & Bryan dive deep into their first fast day, Grace & Frankie, and 90s diet gurus. Thanks for rating and reviewing us on Apple Podcasts, our beloved tomatoes! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After another hiatus, Aggie & Bryan are back to catch you up on all things Goop! We discuss spirit animals, childhood sex hangups, liquid eyeliner, and fun salads. We're also way too excited about Apple Ivanka Martin's foray into gluten-free pizza recommendations. Bryan reports back from his brief but goopy sojurn in Reykjavic, and both he and Aggie have a big diet announcement to make. If you like the show, please rate us 5 stars in Apple Podcasts. Pakka pér fyrir! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cover the kids' ears for this one! The goop newsletter is all about desire this week, and GP gets into it. She tells you how to have sex with your partner, a rando, or all by your lonesome. Don't forget to breathe and journal! Bryan and Aggie disagree on if straight men and women can be friends and the pleasures of a Boca burger, but they do agree on one thing, tunics are great! Be sure to rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts and follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter. Arigato! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aggie & Bryan go on a journey today, touching on everything from cutting edge 80s salads to the literary canon of YA horror author Christopher Pike. We also discuss female anatomy again, so sorry. What is this podcast even about? Oh yeah, Goop. We go into the continuing saga of Gunter V. Paltrow, a new travel guide format, and another winning tip from Ask Jean. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod, and rate us 5 big ones on Apple Podcasts. Gracias! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And we're back! After a three week hiatus, Aggie and Bryan have a LOT of goop to cover. We talk everything from cult documentaries to kimchi parties, from beach totes to ancient civilizations. We also discuss goop (and Dr. Steven Gundry's) strongly worded rebuttal to a certain hater (the gynocologist who said jade yoni eggs might be more poisonous than tomatoes.) Can you imagine the nerve! Thanks as always for listening. Be sure to rate us 5 stars and review us on Apple Podcasts, tell your friends, and follow us on instagram and twitter. Grazie mille! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unfortunately Bryan and Aggie are unable to record a new podcast this week, so we've dug up our very first, never released episode of Goop Yourself from way back in May of 2016. Listen to baby Aggie and baby Bryan talk about pourover coffee and anger management. We also thought describing every outfit sold on Goop would be riveting audio. Live and learn. Stay tuned for a brand new episode next week, and be sure to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. DANKE! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aggie and Bryan argue about fanatical excerciser Tracy Anderson. Is she an aspirational goddess or a weird crackpot selling eating disorders and weird protein bars? Probably both. We also discuss how toxic mold poisoning might be prevented by tearing your house apart and following a paleo diet. Plus, $60 vibrational stickers NOT endorsed by NASA, complicated conditioning regimens, and a trip inside Gwyneth's Goop lair. Don't forget to rate us on Apple Podcasts and follow us @goopyourself on instagram and @goopyourselfpod on twitter. BYE BYE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aggie and Bryan report back from (reading about) In Goop Health, the Goop Wellness Summit unleashed on the tragic white ladies of Los Angeles. It's as insane as expected, with aura photography, collagen martinis, and yoni eggs galore. We also talk about the benefits of hypnosis, Jean approved face wipes, $4500 cooking classes, and why we're all drinking water completely wrong. Please rate us five stars on Apple Podcasts, follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter, and spread the word about this very important podcast. AU REVOIR. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this short and sweet episode of Goop Yourself, Aggie and Bryan discuss how toxic cotton is giving flight attendants hives, and the rest of us cancer and autism. We explain why clean risotto is great, why clean 7-layer-dip is tragic, and why Jean Godfrey June is the Sean Spicer of the Goop Administration. We also touch briefly on Gwyneth's truly bizarre appearance on Jimmy Kimmel and give you a taste of what an Aggie/Bryan Costco podcast would be like. Please rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts and follow @goopyourself on instagram. GOOD VIBES. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Gwyneth forces Bryan and Aggie to confront their personality disorders. But pretty much everyone's a narcissist, right?? We also learn how to safely consume coffee, trust the mystical wisdom of old racist ladies from Laguna Beach, and shop for Father's Day (a $1000 leather ice chest and a copy of On The Road.) If you like the pod, please rate us 5 stars on iTunes and follow us @goopyourself on instagram! WE ARE GRATEFUL. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week goop debuts the most boring sex advice column the world has ever known. This, coupled with a truly basic guide to "colorstrology" makes for a dud of a newsletter. On the plus side, we teach ourselves ESP on our iphones, Aggie delves into the world of mineral sunscreens, and Bryan come out as basket non-binary. Don't forget to rate and review us on iTunes, and follow us @goopyourself on instagram and @goopyoureslfpod on twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's wedding season which means spending thousands of dollars on people you used to be friends with and will barely ever see again. But if you read goop you're super rich anyway so who cares! Aggie and Bryan suffer through terrible groomsman and bridesmaid gifts and self-explanatory relationship advice, but come out the other side with another fun detox to plunge into. Please excuse the audio quality, our engineer (Aggie's dog BB) messed up. Follow us on instagram @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod and please rate us 5 stars on itunes! Mahalo. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Aggie and Bryan discuss goop's passionate defense of their ICONIC yoni egg article from earlier this year. They also talk about terrible Mother's day breakfast ideas, doctors who want to sexually exploit innocent young psychics, and why any kid would want an olive oil bundt cake. Plus, we vow to start wearing more expensive sunscreen. Please follow us @goopyourself on instagram, @goopyourselfpod on twitter, and rate and review us on iTunes. NAMASTE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh boy, it's the week before Aggie starts the goop detox and turns her life around! In the newsletter, Gwyneth ponders the burden of being way more rich and successful than her brother. We also discuss the myth of cellulite, the magic of heart math, and the absurdity of fancy baby food. Plus, a bonus interview with Aggie's baby brother Henry Klapper to discuss their truly twisted relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

HUGE news this week as goop announces a glossy quarterly magazine with Conde Nast, and Aggie & Bryan might have to skip a month of rent in order to subscribe. In the meantime, Gwyneth shills for a straight up cult called Human Design, hawks insane Mother's Day gifts, and has a meatball making contest with noted soulless monster, Jessica Seinfeld. Follow us @goopyourself on instagram!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mercury is in retrograde, causing technological mishaps and near-death experiences, so Aggie & Bryan are grateful to be in the safe cocoon that is goop. This week Gwyneth basically makes a sex tape with her favorite Thai chef, and a crazy doctor shames us into a pre-natal detox. We also learn that plants are trying to kill us. Plus, New Age emoji, spring makeup, and a plea for money. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's that weird leaf holding the wasabi next to your spicy tuna roll? It's shiso, duh... and you're going to want to slather it all over your body because it's now starring in Gwyneth's new perfume! Aggie and Bryan dissect the new scent - but they would rather talk about fast food, Malibu, and fast food on the way to Malibu. Plus, LA's favorite astrological psychologist teaches us to grieve, and we learn how to add algae to all our favorite beverages. This episode is sponsered by Jack In The Box and Lassen's, LA's most homophobic health food store (we wish.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, Bryan & Aggie talk tarot cards, the benefits of walking barefoot, why gen xers are just as bad as millenials, and $5400 bags designed by the Olsen Twins. They also share the disappointment and humiliation of not being included in Goop's podcast roundup. Plus, a handy dim sum guide! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode Aggie and Bryan fear for their lives because Gwyneth convinces them that Advil causes Alzheimers and Zertec causes cancer. The only things that can heal us: apple cider vinegar and fecal implants. Plus, more tips on how to turn your kids into boring nerds, how to prevent your crush from driving you crazy, and how to get drunk at home. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Spring is in the air and Gwyneth has fancy dildos on the brain. Yes, it's the annual Goop Sex Issue!!! In this extra long episode we go through all the old chestnuts (lube, porn, sex cults, messenger bags) and try not to get scarred for life. Plus, we have a very special boots on the ground interview with Joanne Rucker, Bryan's mom and a first time Goop customer. Will she be a clean beauty convert, or cling to her toxic products? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gwyneth rolls out her comprehensive health care plan, Goop Wellness, and it is a true gamechanger for our country. Everyone is covered for $90 per month! Everything is included except for doctors, prescriptions, ER visits, Western medicine... it's vitamins, little packs of vitamins. We're all going to die very soon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Goop gives us an essential oil primer and Bryan and Aggie are into it. Things they're not into: childish phonecases, unflattering jump suits and cringeworthy TED Talks. We can all agree - TED Talks are the worst. Plus - Gwyneth poses on a swing, and Aggie gives us an exclusive glimpse into Ask Jean's past. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hilarious actor and writer Jeff Hiller (Nightcap, 30 Rock) shares his intimate stories of working with Gwyneth after we ply him with Trader Joe's Rosé. Then we discuss the week's very depressing newsletter, touching on addiction and codependency, Alzheimer's prevention, sexism in the workplace, and $1500 caftans! FLOSS OR DIE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we discover Gwyneth doesn't know how to use a pressure cooker, but some women are so damaged they're scared to even go near the kitchen. The solution: talk to some crazy lady in Pasadena who will tell you to slice a banana and DANCE. Also, why chocolate is a vitamin, why addictions are like imaginary friends, and why do we keep listening to what these clearly insane people have to say? Help. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gwyneth teaches us how to throw an Oscar party inspired by classic Hollywood, i.e. the late 90s. We also discuss taking Vitamin D by the fistful, learn how to prevent face oil from exploding en route to Tahiti, and discover that feeling empathy is the biggest indicator of personal failure. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After Gwyneth's political rant last week, she retreats to the snowy cocoon of Park City and white privilege. Bryan and Aggie loathe the concept behind 'Thug Kitchen,' but they'd still try their cocktails. And will Valentine's day never end? Not until Goop dives into the psychological astrology of long term relationships and tries to convince us avocados are aphrodisiacs - because of their shape (an oval with a hole in it) and texture (gooey baby shit.) Whatever floats your boat GP. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gwyneth finally gets WOKE in a strongly worded letter about diversity and inclusion, and Bryan and Aggie have very different takes. She continues her foray into radical feminism by burning her bras (because she's sad about an ex-boyfriend.) Oh well, small steps. We also learn how to layer in winter and plan our own deaths. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Valentine's Day comes earlier and earlier every year, so get ready for bunny ears, feather dusters, and a million types of body oil. After Bryan and Aggie finish vomiting, they talk about Danielle Steel books, tattoo removal, and what a Medical Medium really does. Meanwhile, Gwyneth continues her Red State listening tour by going to Milwaukee, Philly, and Memphis. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Aggie and Bryan learn what smudging is and get really excited about it. They also find out that everyone is full of toxic yeast caused by being fat slobs, and debate the merits of buying foam rollers, trampolines, and floral tinctures that help with self-esteem and baby making. Plus, is Gwyneth trying to sabatoge the podcast by not delivering the Monday newsletter to Aggie?? Probably not. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.