Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

We've come to our fourth and final Sextember podcast episode! It's been a great month culminating in this week's spicy topic. And the whole reason behind Sextember and these types of episodes is to illustrate how important it is that you add variety and novelty to your intimate marriage. This is how you keep it vital for the longterm. Recently someone reached out to our private Get Your Marriage On Facebook group (which, by the way, if you're not a member of, I highly recommend you join): "My wife wants to spice things up in the bedroom. She's saying we should do more sex positions, but I have no idea where to start." Well, this podcast episode is for you and everyone like you in a similar situation! We've had sex position illustrations (very tastefully drawn) in the Intimately Us app for about two years now, and it's a fantastic source of inspiration and creativity for many couples who have looked at those and use them. Another feature that we have in that app is that users can rate and review their favorite positions. So I'm presenting for you today, the top 10 sex positions rated in the Intimately Us app. If you don't have the app, download it today. And if you do have it, please consider upgrading to the premium version to unlock all of the best features of the app! Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Anonymous Question Submission You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

This is our third Sextember Episode! So this is also going to be a really fun and spicy podcast to give you inspiration and ideas to make the most out of your Sextember! Today, we get to talk about how to share your fantasies with your spouse (which is really hard to do sometimes) and about the value of adding novelty and spice to your marriage relationship. In preparation for this episode, we polled our Instagram audience by asking them a bunch of "yes, no, maybe" questions (and some of them are really spicy!). Listen for those at the end to see how your own responses line up with those of our general audience. Jacqlin is my guest today, and I'm so grateful to have her as a member of my Get Your Marriage On team. (And you may have seen Jacqlin on our Instagram as she creates a lot of fun and entertaining reels.) Jacqlin has been married for over 15 years and has four boys. And she's also a certified life coach and loves helping other individuals have more peace and comfort with sexuality for themselves and in their marriages. Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Anonymous Question Submission You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Welcome to our second Sextember episode! For this month, every episode will be filled with ideas to add more spice and excitement to your bedroom as part of our Sextember series. Last week, my guest, Tammy Camp, and I talked about flirting and initiating. So today we're going to build on that and talk about another spicy and exciting topic: putting the play back in foreplay! Foreplay in my opinion is the best part of an intimate encounter. Foreplay is how you set the stage for how intimate and connecting the experience is going to be. And by the end of this episode, you'll learn the grand key to unlock amazing foreplay in your marriage. And it's something anybody can do. We'll give you specific tips and ideas as well. I'll also address some questions that you listeners have sent in anonymously about foreplay. I'm joined by Amy Langford, a certified marriage and intimacy coach that works with me in my Get Your Marriage On program. She's been married for over 25 years to her husband, Greg, has four children and one son-in-law, and is passionate about helping couples uplevel their marriage. Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Anonymous Question Submission You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I am so excited for what's coming up in September! For the next four episodes in the month of September, we will focus on the theme of spicing things up in the bedroom. We're just adding a little more creativity to your lovemaking routines! It's going to be fun and we're doing all this because September for us is Sextember. If you don't know what that is, listen to the podcast or check out our website or Instagram for more. Today's topic is all about initiating and flirting, which I think are two vital skills any couple needs to spice things up in the bedroom. So I've invited my friend at Tammy Camp, a fellow coach with me in my Get Your Marriage On program, to share some ideas together. We get a riff off of each other about how to initiate more creatively, have more fun, and just give you some ideas and inspiration for you and your spouse in your marriage. Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Get Your Marriage On Program Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

**SEXTEMBER STARTS ON SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 1. DOWNLOAD THE INTIMATELY US APP TO PARTICIPATE** My hope for you after listening to today's episode is you'll laugh a little, be inspired and gain some practical tools that you can use to improve communication about intimate things in your marriage. My guest today is Alyson Bullock, a marriage and family therapist, communication coach, and has a popular Instagram account @relationshipswithaly. Today, Alyson and I are going to chat about your questions that will cover topics such as the following: How to talk to your spouse about wanting more variety in spice in the bedroom How to talk to your spouse if what they want to do with you in the bedroom is a bit too much outside your comfort zone How to discuss mismatched sexual desire How to address resentments in your marriage, especially when things feel lopsided when it comes to sharing household chores and the mental load of running a home And we're going to talk about some really fun, practical things to implement in your marriage today! Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

In the thick of raising children or building a career or juggling the many demands that life imposes on us, it's easy for couples to feel like relationship matters have been put to the side. You don't intend for this to happen, of course. It's easy for things to feel so vanilla, routine, or monotonous between you and your spouse. So how do some couples work through these challenges effectively? I love releasing podcasts episodes like this one, because these guests aren't so-called "experts" that pretend to have everything figured out, they're ordinary men like me and you. They have regular normal challenges; yet, their stories are inspiring because their insights are applicable to everyone. My guests, Clint and Tony, were part of the latest men's small group coaching program that I run periodically. You'll get to hear all about their experience as well as other special insights that they've gained as a result of participating in this life changing program. One thing I've learned over the years of doing this work is that men need men. When good men band together, committed to helping each other become better husbands and fathers, great things happen. Registration is now open for our next cohort for our men's small group coaching program, like the one Tony and Clinton just did. This 12-week program is limited to just 8-10 men, and it starts September 4. The program includes a comprehensive course and coaching to help you apply proven principles in your unique circumstances. I'm absolutely certain this program is a good fit for you if you're in an otherwise healthy relationship, yet feel like something is missing when it comes to intimacy. You'll definitely uncover what's missing and witness a transformation in yourself over the 12 weeks we meet together. All of these details are here on my website. By the way we also have an equivalent women's program starting in October, so check back for those details too. Other Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

This is part two of the podcast we released last Friday (#200). And if you haven't listened to that one, I highly recommend you pause this episode and go back and listen to #200 first. These two episodes are continuation of a project that I started a few months ago to better understand what it means for me to cherish my spouse. I shared a tragic story about my wife's cousin and how that really propelled us to understand what it means to cherish others better. In the process, I've sought out mentors to help me understand this concept better. And you get to hear snippets of the conversations I've had with them - you get to be a fly on the wall and learn with me and what it really means to cherish your spouse. And to love them really, really well. Of all the things I talk about on the podcast -- sex, orgasms, initiating, foreplay -- I think learning how to cherish your spouse whole heartedly takes the cake! This is the most important. This is the sum of everything that I wish you would get from my podcast. I hope these two episodes become the most downloaded episodes of the entire podcast. And this is what I want to be known for. I want you to know that to really love and cherish your spouse is at the heart of everything we do, even your sexual interactions (which we talk a lot about on this podcast, right?). It's about how you cherish your spouse through the language of your sexuality and sharing that with your spouse exclusively. So today you get a year from three more mentors that I look up to a lot: Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates). So you get three different perspectives here on the same kind of thing, different stages of life, different worldviews. And in case you missed it, I talked to Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens, (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage) in part 1. I hope this is the inspiration you need to make the most of your marriage relationship--make the changes, get the help, and do what you need to do-- to find that deep and abiding love, the cherishing that brings the deepest meaning and satisfaction to our lives. Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

We recently experienced the loss of a family member very suddenly, a young mom with three children, and it has made me want to love and appreciate and cherish my wife more. And so this set me out on a personal project to understand the concept of cherishing a little better. This project has really changed me. It has changed me in my intimate interactions with my wife and with my children and with others. I've learned how to be a lot more present with them, less anxious. And the way I make love to my wife has brought a different tone to our marriage. It's more connecting, it's more real, it's more eyes open. There's a more genuine desire to be close to each other in our love making also. To help me in my quest to better understand cherishing and what it means for me in my life and in my marriage, I've sought out a few mentors to help me and I've recorded our conversations. I've asked them just a simple question: "What does it mean to cherish your spouse?" And I just sat back and listened as these great teachers shared so many nuggets from their life experiences. Because this topic has had such a big impact on me, and I didn't want you to miss any of it, I've decided to split this into two podcasts episodes. In this episode, you'll get to hear from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage). And in a special bonus episode on Monday, August 19, you'll get to hear part 2 from Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates). Takeaways As you listen to what these wise people say . . . ♥️ I hope you'll listen with an open heart. ♥️ I hope it changes you as much as it changed me. ♥️ I hope this episode will inspire you to treat your spouse with a lot more appreciation and a lot more dignity. ♥️ I hope you'll find greater strength to look past the trivial barriers that get in the way of true connection. ♥️ I hope it motivates you to put down the phone more often and to actually gaze into your spouse's eyes. ♥️ I hope it motivates you to put your arm around him or her and hold them close, because you never know, today might be the last day you'll be together for a long time. Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

It's interesting that we live in a day and age where it's not the popular thing to want a family and a strong, committed marriage with complete fidelity. At least in America, the trend is to make wealth the ultimate measure of our progress in life. But I got to tell you: if you're looking for an investment that would give you a return on happiness, I can't think of anything more of lasting value than a vibrant, passionate and intimate marriage. This kind of marriage brings our the best in both individuals and creates a safe and loving home for children as well. Having a marriage I'm excited about is worth everything to me. In today's episode, you'll get to hear what I said on my friend Angelo's podcast. He recently interviewed me, and in our conversation we talked about some really great topics such as . . . Why it's important to prioritize or marriage Why sexual desire differences arise in long-term marriages (and how to solve it) How to have candid conversations with a spouse about sex And more! Resources: Episode 194: "Is this ok for us to do?" Seeking God's Direction In Your Sex Life Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

I get so many questions through the anonymous question form on my website, so it's time to answer some more. We address these topics today: A husband doesn't feel like his wife values sex and intimacy in their marriage Spouses wondering if erotic literature has a place in a Christian marriage A husband wanting more novelty in a sexual relationship, but don't know how to talk about it A wife feeling turned off by an overweight husband A spouse unwilling to try new things in the bedroom A wife wanting ideas to woo her husband These are real questions on the hearts of many of you listeners, and I am humbled that you would trust me with your most perplexing questions relating to sexual intimacy in your marriage. I'm on a mission to help you have the very best sexual and intimate marriage possible. And I hope that the discussion today spurs deeper conversations within you and your marriage. If you have a question you'd like to submit anonymously for me to address in a future podcast episode, fill out the form here, and that comes straight to me. **Episode 200 is coming up and I can't wait. You don't want to miss it. **Sextember is also fast approaching. This challenge starts September 1. Download the Intimately Us app to get all the details as it approaches. Resources: Episode 194: "Is this ok for us to do?" Seeking God's Direction In Your Sex Life Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Building a long-term, intimate marriage is the most exciting demanding and soul expanding work that many of us will ever do in this life. All of the specific challenges to confront and overcome will be different from couple to couple, but many of the same tools work for many couples. I met Keith and Lindsey through my Get Your Marriage On Program, where my team and I help couples and individuals implement various tools and strategies into their marriage to bring their intimacy to the next level. Keith and Lindsey are definitely the kinds of people you'd love to have as close neighbors and friends: they're really genuinely good people. And you can tell that they like each other very much. They've agreed to share their story with you today in hopes of inspiring you in your marriage. And this episode, Keith and Lindsay will answer questions such as the following: What misconceptions and societal pressures affect sex and marital roles? What tools help them most in their journey? How did they rewrite the many narratives and scripts that they (like all of us) inherited from their culture and families that get in the way of building a good intimate marriage and sex life? How do they balance the demands of work, kids, travel and intimacy all in marriage? If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I'm very excited about today's episode today! We get to address a lot of juicy topics, such as the following: a reluctant wife feeling pressure to give her husband a hand job a couple that wants to try pegging, but is unsure about it a frustrated wife that feels like all the effort she's making to improve her marriage is one sided and feels a lot of pain because of that a husband shares that the pain of being in a low intimacy marriage, where either fight about sex or have none at all, and he's tired of it a couple asks about using penis rings a frustrated wife, whose husband is only interested in sex if he's the one initiating (which is unfortunately really infrequent) a discouraged wife that must resort to using a vibrator in order to orgasm when penetrative manual oral stimulation is preferred These are real questions on the hearts of many of you listeners, and I am humbled that you would trust me with your most perplexing questions relating to sexual intimacy in your marriage. I'm on a mission to help you have the very best sexual and intimate marriage possible. And I hope that the discussion today spurs deeper conversations within you and your marriage. If you have a question you'd like to submit anonymously for me to address in a future podcast episode, fill out the form here, and that comes straight to me. Resources mentioned in today's episode: Episode 194: "Is this ok for us to do?" Seeking God's Direction In Your Sex Life Episode 87: Healing From Pornography with Zach & Darcy Spafford Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

In many marriages, there are people that feel like they do far more than their share of the relationship work, but why do they tend to take on the responsibility of their spouse's share of the relationship, especially in stressful situations? Intimate marriages are like a system like an air conditioning and heating system in your home. It works hard to keep things at an even temperature or homeostasis. When the temperature gets too high, the air conditioning kicks on to cool things down, and when the temperature gets too low, the heater kicks on to heat things up. So it's a system, a way of keeping things normal and functioning in a environment where people can live. When there's stress and anxiety in the relationship, one person may tend to be com overly responsible for the relationship to calm the other person down, to bring the relationship back into homeostasis. This is called the over-functioning / under-functioning dynamic. And it shows up in sex too. If you've ever said to yourself, "If I wasn't the person to always initiate sex here, nothing would ever happen," this could be a sign that you're an over-functioner in your sexual relationship. My guest on this episode, Dr. Kathleen Smith, is a world renowned expert on systems theory and relationships. And this is her second time on my podcast (her first appearance was episode #45). She's the author of a new book, True to You, in which she discusses the overfunctioning under-functioning dynamic in relationships and how to fix it, and that is also the topic of our discussion today. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

"I just have a hard time with some of the things you said on your podcast. How can you be okay with things like toys, lingerie, and even talk about sex so publicly like that. I grew up with the understanding that those things aren't appropriate to discuss." I can absolutely relate. This conversation with this sincere woman took me back several years ago when I was struggling with the exact same concerns. And I've been pondering her concern and reflecting on my own weeks, a month of struggles working through them. I haven't shared my podcast here in depth about the wrestle that I went through that was so profound. It's become my calling in life to help couples like you enjoy a passionate and intimate sexual relationship in your marriage. If you would have told me back then that I'd be talking about sex in nearly 200 podcast episodes with over 1.2 million downloads, along with retreats, coaching and apps, I would've thought you were completely bonkers. But then again, It, might've not been that crazy after all . . . Tune in for discussions about the things I've learned along they way that can help you in your marriage, especially how one can know and decide what is right to do in the bedroom and in your marriage and not, as well as working through conflicts and creating a thriving marriage. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

I get asked frequently about what to do when you (or your husband) comes too quickly during sex, or has premature ejaculation. I wanted to do an in-depth episode on this topic to address the many questions that we have because frankly, sex isn't that enjoyable when it's over too quick or you just don't last as long as you'd like to. Even if this is something you don't deal with right now in your marriage, the information in this episode will teach you how to keep your sexual health in tip top shape for your marriage. My guest today is Mark Goldberg. He is a sex therapist out of Maryland that specializes in common male sexual dysfunction issues, such as premature ejaculation. You can get more information about overcoming sexual dysfunctions on his website: erectionIQ.com If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

For most couples, there's a lot of hot passion and excitement during the early dating and engagement time and for a while after the wedding. But over time, we develop routines, scripts, and become habituated to each other. This is normal and serves a good purpose. However, herein lies the challenge: how do you create an intimate marriage with lots of passion long term? This is the very thing I research, teach, and coach about in my program and at my retreats. And I was a guest on the Redhead Reveal podcast. The host, Jen Pinkerton, is a marriage and family therapist out of Houston, and I had a great conversation with her about navigating intimacy in long term marriages. And this is the episode that we recorded that I want to release with you today. In this episode, we're going to answer the questions such asthese: Why is it hard to keep sex passionate when you've been married for a long time? What can couples do to create an environment for passion to thrive? What is validation seeking behavior and how does that tend to interfere with a healthy, intimate relationship? And I think you'll find a lot of other great golden nuggets in this episode! If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

It's so easy to notice how our spouse is making choices that get in the way of them getting what they really want. Our brains expend tremendous amount of energy trying to get our spouses to see things our way, because from our vantage point, they're self-sabotaging, right? It's so obvious (to us anyway). Of course, our spouses think think the same thing about us. :) If you or someone you love has ever felt this way, then this podcast episode is for you. We're going to talk about relational self-awareness: what it is, how to get it, and how to build a better relationship with your lover. My guest today is Dr. Alexandra Solomon. She is a professor of marriage and family therapy at Northwestern university in Chicago. I recently read one of her books, Love Every Day, and we have a great chat about the principles in her book and those she teaches in her class. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

For a lot of us, we associate the word "eroticism" with something that's distasteful or something that we probably shouldn't want as a Christ-loving people, right? We don't go embracing the things we see on Las Vegas billboards, for example. So eroticism to to some is kind of something hard to hear. Now, this is a concept I teach towards the end of our retreats and my program because there's a lot of groundwork to cover first to understand it. And I understand that we generally don't talk about eroticism because it's very personal. But whether you believe that the book of Songs of Solomon / The Song of Songs in the Old Testament was inspired by God or just purely, really good Hebrew poetry, we have many examples, even in the Bible, of married couples using their eroticism to create something special within their relationship, something precious. And that's the kind of eroticism I want to talk about today. It's the kind that will strengthen your marriage and bring you closer together. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Did you know that most couples that visit traditional sex therapy have very poor outcomes? They're still just as dissatisfied two years later as they were before therapy. Now this insight is particularly striking to me. I think this happens because conventional sex therapy has a primary focus on the individual genitals and sexual dysfunction; there isn't a lot of focus on sex in the context of a marriage relationship. I believe that both partners co-create their dynamic in the marriage. And thus, both people contribute to the challenges that they face in their relationship. In my experience, sexual struggles are actually symptomatic of deeper issues within the relationship. Recognizing the shift from the focus of merely trying to fix the sex to understanding and nurturing the entire relationship is really important. My guest today is Rhonda Farr. She is an intimacy coach and a personal friend of mine. In today's interview, you're going to hear about the time when a person asked her for sex while on an airplane. 😱 You'll get to hear her thoughts and why high achievers struggle in intimacy and in their marriage. You'll also hear us role-play what a conversation might look like when addressing sexual desire difference concerns between a husband and a wife. Learn about how to If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

In this episode, we're going to be talking about making penetration pleasurable, a how to make intercourse amazing, and how to close the orgasm chasm in your marriage, as well as some specific techniques on how to make sex with your spouse sweeter and more worthwhile. I love doing episodes like this because I learn a lot about how to make sex fun and meaningful in my own marriage. I'm reminded though that great sex is far more of a matter of the heart than it is about performance. I met Susan Bratton a year ago when we both shared the stage on Monica Tanner's intimacy summit. Susan is a woman in her sixties having sex like she's in her twenties. She's a gifted speaker and educator about sex and she covers a lot of material. I love how she helps me see what's possible for my wife and me in our own marriage bed. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

As you know, I love answering your questions all about sex, marriage, intimacy, and more. I recently had the opportunity to answer anonymous questions from my friend Hailey Reidhead's audience. Her listeners sent in questions which I was able to answer on her podcast, "She's a Lady," and Hailey allowed me to share it here with you. In this episode, we're going to address these great questions such as the following: Does hormonal birth control affect libido even after you stop using it? How often are couples actually having sex every week? What to do when one spouse has a much bigger sex drive and it's hard to keep up (and then you feel guilty for not having sex as often as they want) and how it feels bad telling them no so much. How to spice up a long term marriage And more! I believe building an intimate marriage is one of the most rewarding, most satisfying work we can experience in this life. I also believe strongly that sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed by husbands and wives and I encourage you to ask questions and seek answers about your sexual relationship. This is why my team and I have put together the new Get Your Marriage On Program. This program is designed for busy couples that want to fix the difficulties around sex and intimacy in their marriage for good. This program isn't about new positions or ways to spice things up. It's not superficial like that. It's about going much, much deeper. This program is ideal for anyone that is experiencing mismatched libidos, hang ups around intimacy, struggles with good girl or good boy syndrome, facing challenges from pornography use, or want help with communication. People in this program get real results. Check out the details on my website. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Let's get one thing out of the way right up front: dirty talk isn't dirty. It's actually an intimate form of communication to let your spouse into your heart and mind. It's a way to express the erotic part of you with your lover. It's about using your words to arouse. The nice thing about married sex, is that it's a place you can go where things don't always have to be so cleaned up, you don't have to be so buttoned up. You can be less formal with each other and use language with each other you wouldn't use in any other context, creating more arousal, intimacy, and excitement. If "dirty talk" is something you've always found awkward or have no idea where to start, you're in for a treat.This episode with Melanie Studley from the Anatomy of Us podcast will hopefully help you and your lover discover a new way to draw closer together and have some sexy fun! If you would like more help developing arousing language and sexy stories in your marriage, you might want to try our guide: From Awkward to Arousing: A Guide to "Dirty Talking" for Christian Couples. (We recorded this podcast a couple years ago, but with so many new listeners, we wanted you to have a chance to hear it, so I've gone back to the archives so that I can share it with you today. ) If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 >>Our brand new, signature Get Your Marriage On Program! Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

In this episode will get a talk about how to make from behind sex positions, such as Doggy style, better. We'll talk about sex toys. We'll talk about unrealistic sexual fantasies. We'll talk about exploring your own body for sexual understanding. We'll also talk about how to treat delayed or premature ejaculation. This is going to be a really fun episode. Just the other day, my wife and I were talking about how we, of all people were probably the least likely people on the planet to start a podcast and coaching program with the purpose of helping couples improve sex and intimacy. I guess God really does have a sense of humor. :-) Sex and marriage hasn't always come easy for my wife and I. It's something that we've learned to work towards, and it's something we'll continue to work on because it's very rewarding for us. Part of the joy comes from the building of something we expect to last beyond a lifetime. We know the work we do in our marriage and family blesses not only our lives immediately, but our children and their children, and their children's lives to with the legacy that we'll leave. And I know we're not alone in this desire. I appreciate your anonymous questions. If you'd like to ask me a question anonymously, you can submit one on our website. Show Highlights: 01:09 The Power of Marriage Coaching 03:22 Navigating Sexual Fantasies and Morals 07:09 Exploring Self and Shared Pleasure 14:11 Addressing Delayed and Premature Ejaculation 19:03 Mastering Sex Positions: Tips and Tricks 22:04 Choosing the Right Sex Toy for You 24:52 Closing Thoughts and Resources If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Our brand new, signature Get Your Marriage On Program!

After recording last week's episode, but Dr. Glenn and Phyllis hill, we stayed on and chat a little longer. We got started talking about sex dates and how Glen and Phyllis look forward to this time. So I suggested we record another episode to share this fun and creative concept with you. If you miss last week's episode, we talked a lot about emotional connection. This week's episode is all about this sexual connection, and it's a fun one and full of so many nuggets! If you're like, we should totally do a sex date, but you want some specifics on how to make it amazing for yourselves, then save the dates in your calendar for July 12-14. Emily, and I will be putting on a virtual retreat where you get to join us from the comfort of your hotel room, Airbnb or bedroom. This retreat is focused on enhancing your sexual experiences as a couple. And the details are on our website. Get the Free Core Emotions Wheel referenced in the episode here. Use code DAN to get a discount on Connection Code courses as well. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Understanding and making sense of our emotions is absolutely essential to living well. We have parts of our brain that are responsible for making sense of our emotions. We also have parts of our brain dedicated to mapping the emotional state of those around us. Sometimes couples come to me for coaching because they don't feel emotionally connected to their spouse. There are a myriad of reasons why they're struggling in this area. So I invited Dr. Glen hill, a marriage therapist, and his wife, Phyllis, onto this podcast to talk about their story and about the role of emotional connection in marriages. One thing I learned is when we use the word connection, we mean it in like, "We're not connected," in a negative connotation. But the reality is, we are often connected, whether we like it or not. Sometimes we like the way we're connected or sometimes we don't like the way we're adversarially connected and fighting a lot. So learning to understand the difference between connection you like and and connection you don't like is an important step forward in learning how to communicate emotionally with your spouse a whole lot better . In fact, in this episode, Glenn and Phyllis are so vulnerable and they share a practice about how they relate to each other emotionally. My wife and I have been doing this practice daily for about eight months now, sp I can personally vouch for this. I encourage couples like coach to try this practice as well! Get the Free Core Emotions Wheel referenced in the episode here. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I'm humbled that you'd trust me with your most urgent and private questions--I receive anonymous questions every day through our website. We address a handful of these questions today and I'll plan another Q &A episode in a few weeks. Sometimes I'll combine a few related questions together to address things more efficiently. (Go to our website to submit your questions.) As I address these questions today, I hope you see a common thread in everything I share. It's my belief that really good sex and intimacy doesn't come easily because everything of value in life takes consistent effort. Building an intimate marriage isn't supposed to be an overnight task. I want to invite you to think of it in this way: the obstacles you experienced in intimacy in your relationship is God's way of calling you to step in and grow up a little more in yourself and in your relationship with your spouse. Think of it as an invitation to learn how to take more personal responsibility, to learn to speak up, to learn, to be more humble, to be more honest, to be more patient, to be more kind, to be more compassionate, and to cherish your spouse more deeply than ever. Building a rewarding intimate marriage is indeed spiritual work. I also believe sex is very core to who we are as an individual. Sex is so very personal. As a marriage coach, I solve sexual issues in the marriage first (with lots of compassion, by the way). These are delicate and real feelings, but if a couple can get the courage to address and work through their sexual difficulties first everything else in their marriage becomes a lot easier. Whether it be finances, parenting in-laws, faith matters, or what direction the toilet paper roll should be loaded on the dispenser. I'm very grateful you've joined us today! Get ready to dive into these wonderful questions! If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Our brand new, signature Get Your Marriage On Program!

Picture this. The journey of building an intimate marriage is much like a road trip through winding paths and scenic routes. Sometimes there's traffic jams. Sometimes there are stretches of long, boring highways or lonely, dark nighttime drives. Sometimes there are flat tires and detours. And then there are beautiful vistas, new destinations at thrilling speeds, and awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping scenes that move you in a profound way, leaving you forever changed. My guest today is Dr. Julie Slattery of Authentic Intimacy. She's a psychotherapist that helps Christian women embrace their sexuality. You'll get to hear Dr. Slattery open up about her own adventures and misadventures in marriage. Everything from those awkward honeymoon moments to the deeper challenges of connecting on all levels. She reminds me that while these bumps in the road are common, they're also prime opportunities for growth, not just individually, but together with our spouses. If you find the important and meaningful work of building an intimate marriage isn't as easy as you think it would have been, don't fret. You're not alone in this. In fact, every couple, even us, faces their own set of challenges behind closed doors. And that's okay. These hurdles don't have to define your relationship. It's about how we overcome these challenges that matters. As I think about my own moments of growth and building an intimate marriage with my wife, Emily, many of these moments were born out of my stumbling blocks that have turned into stepping stones for me. You'll love hearing about Dr. Julie Slattery's four pillars for a rock solid intimate relationship and stay to the end to hear her black belt sex tip too. *** If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I feel called to this important work that I do in Get Your Marriage On! It is extremely important and meaningful work to me. The changes I've experienced in my own marriage were too good to keep to myself, and I wanted to share it with others. In some ways, I feel like I'm a missionary again--sharing the good news of the gospel to others. In fact, I strongly believe that there are many parallels between sexual development and spiritual development, and I'm not alone in sharing that opinion. Today, I invited Amy, Greg and Tammy, who are my colleagues and coaches in my programs and also at my retreats, to have a conversation about the most recent retreat as well as our new program. I want you to listen to the passion and empathy behind their voices. These are people that deeply care about you, your happiness in your marriage, and providing every tool possible to help you get your marriage on. *** We just launch a BRAND NEW PROGRAM today! I hope you'll check it out and take the next leap to take your marriage to the next level! Also, as you'll hear in the episode, we had such a great time at the retreat a couple weeks ago, we've decided to make it happen again this year! Mark your calendars for October 10-13, and register today on our website!

I believe sex is a very powerful language. Just think an immense amount of information is communicated between two people in any sexual interaction. Last year, my wife and I read the book Replenish, by Tammy Hill. Among other things, this book describes a practice called orgasmic meditation. We went away for a weekend last fall and decided to give it a try. It was amazing for us because it made sex so much more about a meaningful connection and communication between us, rather than just rushing to orgasm. We liked the orgasmic meditation practice so much that it's become a regular routine in our marriage bed for several months. Now I wanted to do a podcast episode about it and Tammy Hill, who is a marriage and family therapist and a sex therapist and author of the book I just mentioned, kindly agreed to come on my podcast as a guest. This is a real treat for me to have her here and to share her immense wisdom with me. We talk about the principles behind slow sex, or orgasmic mediation, how to do it, and why you want to try it out!

Can you relate? Growing up in a good, Christian family, you conversations about sex were mostly about biological reproduction or God's word on chastity. Perhaps those conversations served you well as a teenager, but after married, you're left with a lot of questions and maybe even painful experiences as the realities of sex and marriage didn't fit with what you thought it would be. I used to think sexuality and spirituality were incompatible. However, after digging into our own Christian theology, I came to understand that it supports embodiment, sensuality, and sexuality in a very positive way. I look around and I see a God who is powerful, creative, passionate, and very personal. Of all the religions, I think ours ought to be the most sex positive. Even if you're not a Christian, there's no denying that some of the most meaningful experiences we can have is being loved and desired deeply by another person and experiencing a special kind of pleasure. And this experience is spiritual and transcendent. My guest today is Francie Winslow, a friend and the fellow podcaster. And here's some of what we talk about: Francie's story of sexual healing and growth How frequency of sexual experiences doesn't automatically translate to quality of sexual experiences How sex fits with spirituality Connected to the deeper meaning of sensuality to God's design for us Advice on creating margin in your lifestyle, so you have time and energy leftover to invest in your marriage relationship Francie's black belt sex tip at the end, which my wife and I have tried it out since the time we recorded this episode. We had such a great time doing it, we're definitely going to make it a regular part of what we do! Find out more! You can also find this episode on our YouTube channel! You may also be interested in following us on Instagram or downloading our free app, Intimately Us!

For anyone listening that wishes intimacy was less conflict and more connection, this episode is for you! I messed up Two weeks ago, I released a podcast episode about dead bedrooms. I read an email from a man who is in a lot of pain around his relationship. So I addressed areas where I could see that he could work on in his relationship, but unfortunately, that episode lacked compassion and I was wrong. So I want another chance to do it again properly this time. I've been there before I've been there before, to an extent, where the quality of the intimate relationship isn't what you hope it could be. It can be extremely frustrating, lonely, and even hopeless at times when you feel like you're stuck in a relationship where everything else seems to be going well, except when it comes to sex. For the spouse with the higher desire, he or she feels rejected and hurt. For the lower desire spouse, he or she feels confused and overwhelmed. Good sex is important for a thriving marriage As I've stated before, I believe good sex is healthy for a thriving growing marriage relationship. Sex can be replenishing for the relationship. It can be bonding has many health benefits and breeds life into an otherwise mundane partnership. However, according to Justin Lee Miller PhD, he's a sex researcher he says about one in seven americans are in relationships with little to no sex. There are probably as many reasons as there are couples for why they've developed that pattern of intimacy avoidance in their marriages. It's hard to make generalizations in this area. But I am on a mission to eliminate poverty and bedrooms everywhere. I want to help couples overcome their challenges that inhibit them from fully giving generously and fully receiving the goodness that an intimate marriage can provide. I received many emails from people who are confused and struggling in their marriage and I'm grateful for your emails and your messages. With their permission. I want to share another email today. The names and other identifying details have changed, but their story is a real story. My co-host, Amy Langford, has been a guest on my podcast before (see episode number 101). She's a very talented marriage and intimacy coach, and works with me in my Next Level Program and teaches and coaches alongside me at our marriage retreats!

Today we get to talk about some really exciting topics as we answer your questions from the anonymous question form on our website: How to deal with sex and intimacy while you're pregnant and postpartum. What to do when you're hesitant about taking sexy photos or nude photos of each other. What to do when you have a spouse as obsessed with swinging and you disagree with it. What to do when a masturbation habit is interfering with intimacy and pleasure for the couple. I really appreciate your willing to open your heart and trust me with some of the difficulties that you're facing when it comes to sex and intimacy in your marriage. I hope you find something helpful in our discussion today. I love and care about you. I think about you're constantly and that prepare these podcasts episodes with you in mind. If there other future topics that you would like me to address, please reach out to me. And if you want to submit an anonymous question, you can do so on our website. I love to hear what's on your mind and how I can help you in your marriage. That's what I love to do. Looking for more? I have something big in the works: a brand new program! It's a way to bring much of what happens at the retreat to a more accessible, self-paced format. So stay tuned for that. Follow us on Instagram @getyourmarriageon.com Get all our apps and resources on our website: getyourmarriageon.com

I'm excited to answer some anonymous questions I have received from listeners. Some topics we cover include the following: Learning to dirty talk and flirt more How to deal with undesireable sexual side effects from medications Self-Soothing Overcoming gridlock The use of bondage in a marriage bed When grief affects sexuality Masturbation and more! If you would like to submit an anonymous question for me to answer on the podcast, on Instagram, or in an email, you can do so on our website. --- We have an exciting new program coming up at the end of March! Watch your email newsletter for more information!

We recently hit a major milestone with this podcast: 1 million downloads! Thank you for your support! Let's be honest here. Initiating sex is not easy at all. We want the other person to take charge and initiate, right? We worry, how are we going to be received? There's also so much of ourselves wrapped up in what it means to initiate, or not initiate, sex. And past experiences tend to influence our reluctance to initiate as well. Yet, the reality is if one of you doesn't initiate sex, sex is never going to happen in your relationship. So why is initiating sex so hard? What are some common reasons why people, me included, struggle to initiate sex sometimes? How do we get better at this very intimate act of bidding for sexual connection? I've been pondering these questions lately, and I'm grateful to meet up with James Christiansen, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Roseville, California. You'll quickly find out that he has a brilliant sharp mind and quickly cuts right to the heart of the matter. And this episode, we're going to talk about what's at the heart of initiating sex, because it gets a lot deeper than what you're probably thinking. And by the end of this episode, hopefully you'll take more courageous action to cherish your spouse more than before. Links referenced in the episode: ⬇️ Download the Intimately Us and get in on the Sextimacy Challenge before it's over! 🌟 Get info on the DIY Boudoir Date Night Box 🙋 Snag the last spot at our couples retreat coming up in just 5 weeks!

Do you wish you could have more powerful, more pleasurable orgasms? Or to not need to cross your legs when you sneeze? Or jump on the trampoline like you used to before kids? Studies show only about 30% of women have an orgasm from penetration. But perhaps that number could be higher if your pelvic floor (the muscles in and around your vagina) were in better condition. Research also shows that the stronger and healthier your pelvic floor muscles are, the more pleasure you'll find from orgasms (the orgasm is the most powerful pelvic floor contraction possible!), and no pain from intercourse too! Our special guest Pauli Hannan is a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist that specializes in helping women have a better life with a healthier pelvic floor. She's created No Kegel University, where she debunks the idea that you need to do more Kegel exercises or buy vaginal ben-wa balls to strengthen your pelvic floor. This episode is an abridged version of a live 90-minute workshop, and you can watch the full replay on our website. Although this content is directed towards women, men are invited to learn along. After all, men have pelvic floors that need strengthening too!

Today I want to talk about embracing your eroticism. This is a beautiful part of being human; your eroticism is going to be unique to you just as your fingerprints are unique to you! In this episode, we're going to address the following common questions: What is eroticism? Why is eroticism such an important part of a thriving marriage? Why are most people afraid of it? How do you figure out what your eroticism is? How do you figure out what gets you going? How do you cultivate more of this goodness in your life? And, we also give you some fun "would you rather" questions you can use as a spring board to understand your own and your spouse's erotic interests. --- Resources we mentioned in the episode: DIY Boudoir Date Night Box: We've teamed up with EveryLove Intimates to bring you this kit that brings the magic of a professional boudoir photoshoot right to the comfort of your home! Couples Retreat (only 3 spots left!) Picture this: sunny days, red rock landscapes, and outdoor adventures, coupled with a perfect balance of powerful instruction on sex and intimacy, personalized expert coaching, relaxed downtime (wink wink), in a supportive environment. So why not register today before someone else takes your spot? Come join us in March! Just Between Us app: This app is linked directly to your spouse and it encrypts everything so you never have to worry about your intimate photos or conversations accidentally going to someone unintended!

DIY or professionally done, boudoir photography has the potential to empower women and open their minds and hearts to their own inherent beauty, as well as add an extra spark and intimacy to a marriage. I discuss this and more with my guest today, Sierra Beltran, an experienced photographer from Arizona. In this podcast episode, we talk about the following in our deep dive on boudoir photography: How it can benefit you and your marriage What to expect What common objections there are to having boudoir photos done Concerns about faith and nudity Ways to feel more confident in your photos How to do your own boudoir photography at home with a lot of fantastic DIY tips from a professional If you're interested in DIY boudoir photography at home, I have two fantastic resources for you! EveryLove Intimated DIY Boudoir Photography Date Night Box. We have partnered with EveryLove Intimates, one of our favorite lingerie and date night box brands to create a DIY Photo box. This box comes with everything you need for a memorable at-home boudoir experience and date night. My wife and I recently did the DIY session with the items in this box, and it has definitely easily become one of our top 10, most memorable date nights. Just Between Us App. If you want to share your photos with your spouse, you can do it safely on this app. It encrypts everything so you never have to worry about your intimate photos or conversations accidentally going to someone unintended. Also, there's a feature where you can take photos now and send them later.

Sex can be hard for couples for many reasons. And if you feel like it's hard for you right now, you're not alone. Sex is so highly personal and it's a very anxious behavior, yet it's also at the core of who we are. So it's like this dichotomy: we want to be close to another person, yet, in order to get there, we have to overcome a lot of nervousness and anxiety in order to enjoy that. And by the way, sex is so much more than just two bodies bumping into each other; our minds and our spirits are highly involved in sex as well. Humans are the only species on earth capable of making meaning in sex. Dogs don't have sex and think, "Oh, he really loves me." Or, "She was really into that." Dogs and other animals don't do that. It's a very human thing to find meaning in sex. And, that's a double-edged sword for a lot of people. The anxiety in sex make sex a horrible experience or a difficult experience to enjoy for some people. But the flip side of that is the transcendent capacity for deep connection that can come through sex. It is one of the most unique human and wonderful things about being a person. So in this episode, we dive deep into why sex can be hard for couples. Understanding our hangups and why we have them is the first step to overcoming them! -- Valentine's Day is coming up, and that means so is our 14-Day Sextimacy Challenge! Watch the Intimately Us app for more details! Our free workshop coming up on January 19 will be all about increasing pelvic floor health. Strong pelvic floors benefit us in so many ways. I hope you'll join us! Details will be hitting your inbox soon. The life-changing Get Your Marriage On! couples retreat is coming up just around the corner. There are only a couple weeks left to sign up before registrations are closed! Grab your spot today!

Who in your relationship has more of a say in general, who in your relationship organizes themselves around the other more? Are there any unaddressed resentments that you deal with in your relationship right now, do some things feel just one sided in your marriage? Couples that thrive have a shared sense of power in the relationship power in this context is defined as note shared power shared influence. One person can receive the influence from the other. The moment we start creating hierarchies in our relationship. Meaning one person is more important than the other, or the general order of things goes like, no, God husband, wife, for example. When we create these hierarchies in our relationship, we set ourselves up for power struggles and this often undermines sexual desire and intimacy in the marriage. I work with couples that want to grow their sexual relationship. And that's one of the purposes of this podcast. The reality is you grow the sexual relationship by strengthening the marriage and upgrading the relationship dynamic. One way to quickly improve your sex life is by paying close attention to the power dynamics at play in a relationship. And some of them might be invisible to you or very covert. My guest today is Bonnie Young. She's a licensed marriage and family therapist licensed in Utah in Washington state. She's also currently working on her PhD. She's super smart, caring. And as you'll get to know, very experienced in this topic we're going to talk about today. She's also a mom of two, almost three children and runs a mental health clinic with almost a dozen therapists working for her in two states in her spare time. --- Ready to level up your marriage this year? Check out our romantic and life-changing marriage retreat coming up this March! --- For more fun, connection, and intimacy daily, download our free app: Intimately Us

Five years ago, around the campfire with friends, one man told me about this amazing trip he and his wife made to Thailand where they camped out on the beach in this pristine tropical bay. And another friend told me about his trip to the Dominican Republic at is all inclusive resort, just he and his wife. And another guy talked about this cruise, he and his wife went on and all these fun and exciting trips with just their wives. And I was so, feeling sorry for myself. I had extreme case of FOMO. I wanted to get away with my wife, but I just felt like I couldn't because of the circumstances in my life. Long story short, we finally made that trip happen. We had so much fun and we just really needed this time together, this time away. And that experience of getting away just the two of us really nourished our relationship and boosted us like nothing else. So since that time we've gone at least on one weekend away together every three months, about four times a year, and it's become something we really look forward to doing in our marriage. And it's become a staple for helping our relationship thrive. In this episode, you get to hear a little bit more about this vacation my wife and I finally went on, but you also hear from a Romance Consultant, Joise McEwen, about how to plan your own romantic getaway, how to make vacation sex successful, and hopefully gain inspiration to make a getaway a goal for your marriage. --- If you want to take you getaway up a level, check out our couples retreat coming up in March! Get all the details at getyourmarriageon.com/couples-retreat/. And if you're looking for ways to add fun and spice to the bedroom on the regular, on vacation or not, check out the Intimately Us app!

For a lot of couples, Christmastime is a really stressful time of the year. There's a lot of end of year projects for work and school; there's also gift shopping and preparations for guests and meals and Christmas cards and dinners and parties, and the list just keeps going on and on and on. And if you have children, it just multiplies the complexity by every child that you have in your home. But Christmastime can also be a very special, sexy time of year. Think about it. Think of all the romantic, Christmas-themed movies that we love. Think about the time you get a snuggle by a fire. Think about the fun that you can have with your spouse when the world kind of slows down for a little bit. It can become a very sexy time. In fact, a friend pointed out to me that, in the United States at least, we have the highest birth rate at the end of August, early September. I didn't believe him. So I double checked it. And it's true! In the United States, we have the most births in late August, early September. Which means most people are being conceived around Christmas time. And I want this to be a very sexy time for you too! So I'm going to offer you 12 sexy Christmastime tips in this episode! Helpful links: Intimately Us Get Your Marriage On! Couples Retreat Tammy Hill's book, Replenish

There's something magical about setting aside three to four days away with your spouse, where you can relax and have fun and enjoy working on aspects of your relationship that are going to give you a big boost and forward momentum. And our Get Your Marriage On! retreat next March could be just the thing to help renew and revitalize your marriage like it did for the past attendees you'll hear from in this episode. Find out more about what is included, what the retreat is like, and most importantly, the results for the couples who have come in the past. (Hint: they were transformative!) I hope you'll join us in March 2024 for this life-changing experience! Get all the details here: https://getyourmarriageon.com/couples-retreat/

Picture this: It's a typical day. You're lying in bed. Snoozing your alarm clock for the third time, your resolve to get to the gym weakening. You were interrupted again last night from a child that needed you. And as you awake the demands of the day, press on you. Lists appear in your mind what shopping needs to be done, which child has which appointment, the field trip that you volunteered to go on, the assignment at church you agreed to do, and so on and so on. You get out of bed already tired to go about your morning routine. But today, a genie appears and grants you a special wish for one day. You can do what you want to do. What would you decide? What would you do? Have you lost yourself? My friend and guest, Ariel Finlinson, years ago was in a situation where her husband and kids are going to be out of town for a few days. And she had an entire weekend to herself. She had no idea what she'd do with her time. That's the day she realized that she had somehow lost herself in motherhood. She had lost touch of herself, lost the relationship with herself in her busy and noble life of mothering. As you know, this podcast is dedicated to helping Christian couples get out of a rut in their sex life. Today's topic isn't sexy, per se, but it's really important and ties into developing a stronger sex life. The relationship with ourselves is crucial to our relationship with others. You can't give from an empty well, and you can't lift others to higher ground if you're not on higher ground yourself. Ariel recently received her master's degree in family life education. She's super fun, sharp. And the host at the Ladies Talking Love podcast. Today, we're going to talk about five ideas for mothers to reconnect with themselves in their life. Click here for Ariel's free download, "Find Yourself After Kids," that we mentioned in the episode. Take Care of Yourself and Your Relationship Something you can do to nourish yourself, get some rest, have fun and connect with your spouse in a deeper, profound way is to get away once in a while together. And there's no better way to do that than to attend our upcoming couples retreat in March. Registration is open and you won't want to miss it. During the retreat, we'll do a deep dive into your relationship and give you real practical tools to help you get out of a rut, do away with resentment and free yourself from the frustrations and limitations you currently face. You'll walk away from this retreat feeling rejuvenated with lots of hope in your relationship and just feeling great together again. And this retreat is also balanced with a lot of fun activities like ATVing in the desert or canyoneering near Zion national park. To make this an unforgettable weekend, sign up today!

Today is a Q &A episode. I get anonymous questions, which you can send me through my website, and I go through those regularly. And today we're going to address a few of the common questions that I'm getting in this podcast episode. Today, we're going to cover topics such as the following: How to get more comfortable with flirting, dirty talk wearing lingerie, etc, as a newlywed. How do you ask for things in bed? Premature ejaculation. A concern from a wife about how her husband has some excessive masturbation habits How do you talk about difficult things with their spouse when they tend to shut down and withdraw? Now I have a very special invitation for you. You're invited to join us for our next marriage retreat that we will have here in my hometown, St. George Utah. St. George is like a Mecca for outdoor living. It's got red rocks. It's in the desert. It's got world-renowned canyons, like the Zion National Park and Snow Canyon. We're going to spend some of that time outside ATVing in the desert or canyoneering out by the national parks. We'll also have this beautiful location that we've picked out. It's private. We've rented out the entire resort. And you get to have instruction with me and my team. We talk, we do a deep dive in your relationship, taking it apart, putting it back together and upgrading your marriage. Make this time in March, be the thing that would give you forward momentum in your relationship to build a strong you in 2024. We only have 20 spots for this. So the time to act is now you can register at, get your marriage on.com and click on couples retreat. And while you're there, look at some of that testimonials and videos of others that have attended the retreat. So you get an idea for what it's like.

One pernicious thought the often gets in the way of our intimacy is a thought that we can put the romance and desire side of our marriage on the back burner while we raise our children. The reality is the greatest gift we can give our children right now is for us as parents to have a thriving marriage and erotic relationship that feels alive. Prioritizing desire in our relationship, within reason, has done wonders for our marriage. So today I've invited three, yes, three guests onto my podcast. This trio is part of Kingdom Sexuality, where their mission is to help Christian couples see God's design for sex. They also have a great Instagram account, by the way. Alana, Kyle, and Tiera each are married and have children. And we're going to have a frank conversation about practical things to keep strong desire while you're still raising young children. Take some time just for the two of you! And the other thing you can do for your marriage and for your children is to get away once in awhile with your spouse. And there's no better way to do that than attend our next couples retreat in March. Registration is open and you won't want to miss it. We'll do a deep dive into your relationship and give you real practical tools to help you get out of a rut, do away with resentment, and free yourself from the frustrations and limitations you're currently facing in your marriage. We do this by building on top of your strengths and helping you see a clear path forward so that you have hope and excitement in the future of your marriage. This is all, of course, in balance with fun activities to do on the retreat, like ATV in the desert or canyoneering near Zion National Park. To make this an unforgettable weekend, register today on our website.

To love and be loved wholeheartedly. It's life's sweetest gift. Marriages thrive when there's two forces working together love and desire. By love, I mean, the qualities like attentiveness, which is like being a good listener, kindness, a feeling of home and belonging in the relationship and loyalty. On the other hand, by desire I mean a sense of passion, excitement, pursuit, adventure, mystery, and fun. We need both of those things in a good marriage. And to really love someone and to really desire someone with all of your heart, it's often a function of how developed and mature we are. Did you know that there are stages of development and romantic and sexual relationships as there are in other aspects of life? And how do you grow from whatever stage you are now to your next stage and become a better lover? I've been podcasting consistently every week without fail for almost three years now. Can you believe it?! And one of my personal most favorite teachers of all time is Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, who you'll get to meet in just a moment. We recorded this podcast a long time ago. And because we have so many new listeners on this podcast, I've gone back to the archives to make sure you all get a chance to hear it! Keep Your Marriage Burning Bright Marriages need more help to stay strong today than ever. And that's why we just opened registration for upcoming marriage retreat in St. George Utah for March, 2024. Retreats are an exciting way to spend some time away and we give you the tools you need to build a stronger sexier marriage and you get to meet other couples, have good food, go on excursions and just have this amazing experience to keep the fires of love and passionate desire burning bright in your relationship for years to come. Register today on our website.

Oftentimes in our quest to have a deeper, more intimate marriage, it's really not a question of whether you want to be loved or loved more. It's really a question of a capacity to love or be loved more. In my work with couples and individuals, helping them grow intimately in their marriages, one of the very first things I teach them is how to be more mindful. Most of us cruise through the day on autopilot, not quite aware of the thoughts that go through our head. However, when we develop the skill of slowing down and observing our thoughts, we can then shape our thinking to higher levels. In the past, as a Christian, I thought that the whole mindfulness and meditation thing was for Zen Buddhists, but the more I dive into my own beliefs, I see mindfulness built right into my religious practices because what is prayer, the Sabbath, time in God's word, but an invitation for stillness and mindfulness. Higher levels of thinking are required in order to grow one's capacity to love and be loved. And this has nothing to do with IQ. It has everything to do with learning how to be more present and honest with your thoughts. That's why I'm so excited about my guest today. His name is Dr. Ty Mansfield. Ty is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a professor of marriage and family life at Brigham Young University. I first came across Ty's work when I read his book on mindfulness and it changed the way I approached my life in so many aspects. *** COUPLES RETREAT: I am so excited to announce that registration is now open for our next couples retreat March 14-17, 2024 in beautiful, sunny St. George, Utah, which is also my hometown. This retreat is ideal for couples that want to take the intimacy in their marriage to the next level. Watch some testimonials here! *** COACHING: Register any time for our coaching program, Next Level, for coaching resources, and a great community. *** WORKSHOP: Join us for our next workshop all about slow sex on November 22! And remember that all of our guides and workshops are 20% off this month!

Are you looking for a big shift in your relationship? The men in my coaching program continually see these shifts in amazing ways. They feel more grounded. They see themselves more clearly. They feel more confident in their own skin. They stand on their own two feet better. They're at more peace with their God-given sexuality and who they are, and their wives take notice and often make changes and adjustments themselves too. I am so excited that we are starting another men's coaching cohort on Sunday, November 8! In this episode, you'll learn all about the program and what kind of things you can expect to learn and ways you can grow to achieve the marriage you've always dreamed of. Register now for the men's only coaching program! You can also hear from other men who have gone through this program. I look forward to seeing you next week!

I have a background in computer science and I love writing code. Nerdy, right? The better the code, the better the program. A program can't run better than the code it's written from. The way we express our sexuality is the same way. We can't out-sex ourselves beyond the thoughts we have about sex. This is one reason why I am a big believer in marriage and sex coaching. I help my clients to recognize their current thoughts about sex and their marriage, and invite them to reprogram their thoughts to elevate and improve their thoughts about sex so that they can live happier, more fulfilling lives. So many marriages can do better if they take the time to think about what they think about sex and their relationship. If more couples did this, we could eliminate poverty from bedrooms everywhere! My guest today is Heather Flake. Heather is a fellow life coach that helps married women love who they are in their marriage more. If you like this content, check out getyourmarriageon.com for more: FREE MASTERCLASS Next Level Intimacy Program Private Coaching Workshops Apps Guides AND MORE!

Today I want to talk about what to do when you want to want to have sex but you don't feel in the mood for it yet. Although it would be nice to get in the mood, you know that it's going to take time and energy to get there, and it's tempting to just postpone sexy time to another time when you'll have more energy. But when you think about scheduling sex, it feels like yet another thing to add to the to-do list. So there it goes again: sex feels like work rather than play, and it gets put on the back burner. Again. This episode covers reasons that couples struggle with play and foreplay, and then 7 actionable ways to add relaxed playfulness into your relationship and sexual encounters! Remember that if you plan on building an exciting, intimate marriage that lasts a lifetime, it requires healthy doses of newness injected into your marriage regularly. We all go through seasons, but the best way to keep your sex life out of a rut is to keep things fresh and new. Some of the suggestions in this episode are going to take some effort to prepare. But even the preparation can be part of the fun! It builds anticipation! Here are links to some of the resources discussed in today's episode: Episode 89, "Foreplay Throughout the Day" Intimately Us App Sheets and Ladders Game How to Have Shower Sex Slip & Slide Date Night Tutorial