Distractible

Back in my day, it used to cost only five cents to watch Mark, Bob, and Wade talk about maggots, beavers, and feces. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can we ever really trust Wade though? Anyone with that amount of shine is sure to have his secrets. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Bard" Bob doth take Wadeiam Shakespeare and Markbeth out for a night at the theatre. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Look no further, you've come to the right place to gain sacred knowledge about crows, plants, geese, and zombies. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I liked Distractible before it was cool. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's more American than releasing a 4th of July special 3 days after the 4th of July? This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How well do the guys know their own show? Also, do you smell something... This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Three "expert" gamers share their "expertise" on the past, present, and future of the gaming world. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's been quite some time since Bob last decided torture Mark and Wade with trivia. Let's fix that right now. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do frogs, cluckin', Franz Ferdinand, and loud moans all have in common? Just ask Wade... This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bob and Wade must carry the weight of Mark's game on their shoulders. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everyone's favorite role-playing game just got a whole lot more bald. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If the tech ain't broke, don't fix it. Unless you're Wade, in which case everything is broken. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Visit Amazon.com/prime to get more out of whatever you’re into. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's better than this? Guys being dudes. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Visit Amazon.com/prime to get more out of whatever you’re into. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The number one trusted news source for pregnant people, meat puppets, and parrots is back! This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Visit Amazon.com/prime to get more out of whatever you’re into. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The guys play a word game so dumb, even a mechanic fixing Wade's plumbing could do it. This episode is brought to you by vitaminwater. Grab a vitaminwater today. Visit Amazon.com/prime to get more out of whatever you’re into. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Yankee Doodle Daddies decide to do some long needed gerrymandering. DOOM: The Dark Ages: Stand and Fight. Available now at: beth.games/3WDZI4V Visit Amazon.com/prime to get more out of whatever you’re into. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chef Wade is back in the kitchen serving up some more hot and steamy euphemisms, with a side of red onions and corn off the cob. DOOM: The Dark Ages: Stand and Fight. Available now at: beth.games/3WDZI4V Visit Amazon.com/prime to get more out of whatever you’re into. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is Mark's masochism, Bob's parental instinct, and Wade's Scottish accent enough to take down 100 gorillas? And we're only getting started... DOOM: The Dark Ages: Stand and Fight. Available now at: beth.games/3WDZI4V Visit Amazon.com/prime to get more out of whatever you’re into. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, that was gross... DOOM: The Dark Ages: Stand and Fight. Available now at: beth.games/3WDZI4V Download the Rocket Money app now, and tell them I sent you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mark wreaks revenge and havoc on Bob and Wade for all those definitely, totally not deserved losses. DOOM: The Dark Ages: Stand and Fight. Available now at: beth.games/3WDZI4V Visit Amazon.com/prime to get more out of whatever you’re into. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just because we don't have merch right now, doesn't mean we still can't try to sell you stuff! DOOM: The Dark Ages, coming May 15th. Pre-Order at: beth.games/3WDZI4V This episode is brought to you by Degree Deodorant. Grab the original Cool Rush at Walmart or Target today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

W asks B & M some grade A "Q"s. DOOM: The Dark Ages, coming May 15th. Pre-Order at: beth.games/3WDZI4V Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All of the Distractible crossovers you've dreamt off, jam-packed into one episode! DOOM: The Dark Ages, coming May 15th. Pre-Order at: beth.games/3WDZI4V Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can Wade sneak his oozing and thronging weirdness past Mark and Bob? DOOM: The Dark Ages, coming May 15th. Pre-Order at: beth.games/3WDZI4V Learn more at uber.com/onourway Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Markiplier presents, "A Heist with Bob & Wade." This episode is brought to you by Degree Deodorant. Grab the original Cool Rush at Walmart or Target today. Download the Rocket Money app now, and tell them we sent you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The greatest public domain story ever told finally comes to the big screen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Orange Is The New Distract. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wade may have screwed up, but at least he's got the voice of an absolute angel. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The internet's most reliable news source is back, but maybe not better than ever. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Distractible Time Machine™ is still running, and this time Wade is in the driver's seat. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD, large quantities of beans and hyperventilation. This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The dudes are bringing it back home with this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Old Mark-plier had another farm. E. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether you like it fast or slow, Distractible is here to satisfy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of Distractible pleads the fifth. Any further information will require the presence of a lawyer. Or just get Bob or Wade, that should be good enough. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For better or for worse, this episode is about the best and the worst. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Look at my ice! It's time for some good ol' fashioned icebreakers with Bob! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A moist bear and a hot fox, both with soapy eyes, walk into a bar in Australia. One orders a "Kadoova", the other orders a "Chump." And let me tell ya, that bartender got the greatest e****ion you've ever seen in your entire life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Keep your hands, arms, feet, Pokémon and Blockbuster cards inside Mark's time machine at all times. And remember, every action has an equal and opposite distraction. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For the price of one penny, you could have all the toy trains, crusty socks, and dead bodies imaginable! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Things are gettin' real saucy between Wade, Bob, Mark, George & Martha Washington, skating flies, briefcase puppies, and a whole lot of ketchup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I want million, you want million, we all want million! (Celebrity guest appearances by Bob's Dad and Benjamin Franklin.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When is this? Where am I? Who's asking me all these trivia questions? Why is that man putting a condom on a bullet? And why is that other man... BALD?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mark's life flashes before his very eyes, at the whim of Bob and Wade. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The three founding fathers gather once again to re-evaluate the sacred text that is the "Distractible Constitution." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cloacas, buttholes, and toxic gas. That can only mean one thing... Mark's hosting! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All of Wade's beautiful ideas... gone. Oh well, at least we still have kinky clowns, rooftop ninjas, and extra powerful bidets. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dudes Innovatively Spell The Right Acronyms Correctly Tonight (Nailed it.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No animals were harmed in the making of this episode. Mostly because Mark doesn't know how to use a gun. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices