Dirty Chai with Chio Podcast

Hello hi. We haven’t been on a coffee date in a while. Today seemed like a good day to reconnect over the surprisingly surprising realisation that I am only human and, to discuss movement as a metaphor for life. Thanks for sticking around. I tried the feature that allows me to create a chat room for an episode. click on “join chat’ so we can try it together. Also, my daughter really wanted to help me record so stand by to be introduced to this week’s episode enthusiastically by her little big voice. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

In this unusual episode, we are spreading into the full breadth of “wholistic success” by discussing a very interesting thread from threads on what people have experienced when they do not partner effectively in marital finances. Partnership in this context is not the same as contribution. It is to say functioning as a team driven by the desire for a joint outcome and with the understanding that one might need to step in for the other. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Inspired by Oprah’s book of the same title, here is what your podcaster next door knows for sure about life, career, and the big question. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

In our coffee date this week, I take you through a thought-provoking essay by Brianna Wiest from her book 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think titled 101 Things More Worth Thinking About Than Whatever Is Consuming You. This essay is a powerful reminder of how our thoughts shape our reality.If you’ve ever found yourself trapped in an endless loop of overthinking—whether about a past mistake, a lost opportunity, or a person who didn’t choose you—this episode is for you. Wiest’s words gently shift our focus to the infinite possibilities, curiosities, and wonders that deserve our attention instead. From the randomness of life’s breakthroughs to the beauty of a single moment, this essay offers a fresh perspective on what truly matters. More than that, it provides nuggets with which to build new ways of thinking. Pour yourself a cup of something warm, settle in, and let’s redirect our thoughts toward something far more fulfilling.4o This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Nothing like a life-and-death scare to get you thinking hard about life, right? So, let’s talk about it so we can think about it meaningfully. Just a heart to heart. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

What if your fears are sign posts and not just stop signs. What age old wisdom about money remains true. What is a healthy state of panic around money? source: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

They say when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Putting my theme for the year into the universe seems to be directing my eyes and ears to precisely what I need to read, listen to, and do left, right, and centre…just like the science says it will. This talk by Simon Sinek, building on his iconic Ted Talk, “Start with Why,” is one of those things. Sometimes, I share what I have learnt in my own words. At other times, it is best to let the masters speak for themselves…like now. “Dive into Simon Sinek’s powerful 27-minute motivational speech, Focus Only on Yourself in 2025. This inspiring talk emphasizes self-growth, resilience, and the importance of focusing on your goals without being distracted by negativity or external pressures. Simon shares actionable strategies to prioritize yourself, overcome challenges, and stay committed to your personal and professional growth in the upcoming year. Why listen?* Learn how to make 2025 your most focused and productive year yet * Discover practical tools to overcome criticism and negativity * Gain insights from Simon Sinek on how to build a resilient mindset * Find inspiration to prioritize your personal goals over distractions * Unlock strategies to stay consistent and aligned with your purpose” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Two of my favourite authors meet and chat about what shapes financial choices and spending patterns. The conversation is available on the Prof G Pod. Listen to the original episode by clicking on this link: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Hello hi. In episode 80, we talked about what self-sabotage looks like. In Episodes 81 and 82 we focused on what to do about it. In this 4th and last installment, we focus on emotional intelligence as a foundational way to manage self-sabotage. Whether you know your self-sabotaging tendencies or are just beginning to recognize them, this episode offers valuable insights to help you manage them and master yourself.Key Topics:* How to resolve self-sabotage using Emotional IntelligenceResources Mentioned:* The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest* Atomic Habits by James Clear* Atlas of the Heart by Brene BrownHave a listen. If you enjoy the episode, please like, share, subscribe, or leave a comment. Thank you! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Hello hi. In episode 80, we talked about what self-sabotage looks like. This installment is part 2 of what to do about it. How do you navigate self-sabotage now that you know what it is?Whether you know your self-sabotaging tendencies or are just beginning to recognize them, this episode offers valuable insights to help you manage them and master yourself.Key Topics:* How to resolve self-sabotage’s different formsResources Mentioned:* The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest* Atomic Habits by James ClearHave a listen. If you enjoy the episode, please like, share, subscribe, or leave a comment. Thank you! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Hello hi. In the last episode, we talked about what self-sabotage looks like. In this installment, we talk about what to do about it. How do you navigate self-sabotage now that you know what it is? Whether you know your self-sabotaging tendencies or are just beginning to recognize them, this episode offers valuable insights to help you manage them and master yourself.Key Topics:* How to resolve self-sabotage’s different formsResources Mentioned:* The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest* Atlas of the Heart by Brené BrownHave a listen. If you enjoy the episode, please like, share, subscribe, or leave a comment. Thank you! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Hello hi. Welcome to our coffee date. Thank you for being so patient after my laptop died and I had to figure out how to replace it. Perhaps ironically, the episode was already scheduled to be on how we self-sabotage. You would think you know all the ways but Brianna Wiest had a few surprises on her list in her book The Mountain is You. In this enlightening episode, we delve into the intricate patterns of self-sabotage and examine the subconscious behaviors that hinder our progress. We also reference Brené Brown's insightful work, Daring Greatly, which emphasizes the power of vulnerability in personal growth.Whether you're aware of your self-sabotaging tendencies or just beginning to recognize them, this episode offers valuable insights to guide you toward a more fulfilling and empowered life.Key Topics:* Understanding self-sabotage and its origins* Identifying hidden self-sabotaging behaviors* The role of vulnerability in personal developmentResources Mentioned:* The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest* Daring Greatly by Brené BrownHave a listen to gain a deeper understanding of self-sabotaging behaviors and embracing vulnerability as a strength on your journey to self-improvement.For a deeper dive into Brené Brown's insights on vulnerability, you might find her TED Talk enlightening: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Episode Description:Join me for our last coffee date of the year as I delve into my 2025 theme: Refinement. Drawing from my personal experiences and inspired by Brianna Wiest's transformative book, The Mountain Is You, I explore the journey from mere survival to a state of healing and thriving, both personally and professionally. Tune in for candid conversations, reflections, and actionable steps as we discuss how I came to this point, why, and where I would like to be exactly a year from now.About the Podcast:"Dirty Chai with Chio" is your career's podcast bestie. It's a business and career mindset podcast where I connect books with reality through candid and authentic conversations as we explore the essential elements of career triumphs, share research-backed habits to achieve different types of success, and embrace transformative mindset shifts. Whether you are in corporate, an entrepreneur, a mindfulness advocate, embracing the challenges of parenting and personal growth, or all of the above, like me, we unravel the threads that unite these diverse experiences under the common traits that define success.About the relevant Book:The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest is a profound exploration into why we do it, when we do it, and how to stop doing it—for good. The book delves into the conflicting needs that create self-sabotaging behaviors and offers insights into transforming internal obstacles into opportunities for growth.Listen Now:Tune in to this episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to embark on a journey of refinement and transformation.Connect with Me:Stay updated with my latest insights and episodes by subscribing to my Substack via chioneso.substack.comJoin the Conversation:Share your thoughts and experiences on this episode by leaving a review or connecting on social media. Let's refine our journeys together. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Hello hi. Welcome to our coffee date. What we talking about today: Don’t let the why drown in the what and how. Why do you want to get fit? Why do the holidays matter? Why do we come together in this season? Who is telling us what the why is? How do we tie the feelings economy into James Clear’s thoughts on Identity, Greg McKeown’s doing less but doing it better, and Rupi Kaur’s poetry. It’s a foundational episode with Christmas overtones. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

I have been consistent about setting a vision or theme for each year since I hit 30.I’m currently 39. I learned in my 20s that making many resolutions just doesn’t work for me. I make a long list and then I forget about it as soon as life does what life does. Yet, I firmly believe in vision, direction, and intention. Setting a vision is more than popular culture or modern spirituality. It is also biblical.Enter my annual reference to this particular bible verse:“Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.Habakkuk 2:2-3 NKJVI have found that setting a theme for the year is something I can stay true to. It’s a promise to myself I can actually keep. A promise to make decisions that are aligned with the vision in every area. That’s all. 2021’s theme was “Be Still and Know.” This was one of the more difficult themes I have ever set for myself. 2021 was, consequently, a necessary but painful growth experience. I’m sure there is something about it here somewhere. 2022 was Year of Yes (Book Reference: Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes). I had uprooted a lot of old and new and saying yes scattered new seeds. 2023 was Rooting my Touch Tree (Book Reference: Untamed by Glennon Doyle). The seeds were planted and many. Which would be the ones to tend and keep while they took root. 2024 was Big Magic (Book Reference: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert)—the beginning of learning to reach for more. Learning to thrive, learning to step out despite fear. We are reviewing the meaning of this last one before I tell you what the 2025 one is next week or the week after. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

In this week’s instalment I share a Ted Talk by Caroline McHugh which I found remarkable. She touches on all the vital bases required to remind us how to root ourselves and to make meaning of this existence while trying to live the fullest versions of ourselves. Too many of us are unintentional pale imitations or patchwork quilts of others when we could be so much more within and without. The link to the Ted Talk is below. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Try the ATM! There. I said it. I explain in this episode. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Sometimes you get derailed in big and small ways and you need to have a toolkit to help you restore your mindset and focus. To trip or fall is human. Wisdom is buying an umbrella when the weather is sunny knowing the rain is inevitable from time to time. This speech from Shonda Rhimes given at Dartmouth in 2014 is one of my go-tos. Like she says, while the dreamers dream, the world belongs to the doers. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

My subconscious decided to fire shots at me. This is my first experience with a personal attack from myself to me. So you were wronged… are you going to play victim for the rest of eternity? Stop it. Don’t @ me when I say I’m never getting married again tomorrow. I told you I’m personally attacking myself… and you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Picking up from Pt 1 last week, here is Pt 2 of what my mother taught me unintentionally, informed by the idea that we become what we see, not what we are told to be, unless we put mental interventions in place like therapy, consciousness, knowledge, learning, and unlearning. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Inspired by the short film “Legacy” in which Dove uses an experiment to demonstrate that children copy their parents’ insecurities, I am sharing some of the things (good, bad, and maybe even funny) my mother unintentionally taught me. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Is year-end fatigue setting in? Yeah, me too. I’m also a little jet-lagged. That’s probably why a refresher on the little things that build big results seemed like such a good idea. Here is a collection of thoughts and ideas to help with the refresh from the book, The 12 Week Year by Brian Moran and Michael Lemmington. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Let’s discuss “Father Forgets,” a poem by William Livingston Larned. I came across it while reading Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Disclaimer: I have a tenacious chest infection that causes my voice to dip in order to minimise the sudden and unavoidable coughing fit that results from speaking too animatedly. Welcome to our coffee date. Today I tell you stories from different books and what they have driven me to consider as I begin re-reading some of my favourite books. Featured books and resources are: How the One-Armed Sister Sweeps her House; The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s wives; Steve Harvey, Adam Grant & Trevor Noah together; and Esther Perel on relational intelligence. Somehow it all comes together. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Hello hi. Welcome to this week’s coffee date. This week’s installment is a full summary of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power. A link to the source is below. I sound a little apologetic and give a lot of disclaimers because Robert Greene’s work is controversial because it is Machiavellian. Be that as it may, it is not my part of my purpose to be the information police. I share books and this is a book. A bestseller at that. Comments on the subject are usually about people grappling with the moral questions or renouncing it as evil. Knowledge is power. I think it boils down to this: What we do with it is about who we are. Enjoy! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Hello hi. Welcome to this week’s coffee date. This week’s installment is special because I am a huge fan of Esther Perel’s work and I am deliberately stepping more fully into the “holistic” part of the holistic success I like to talk about so much. Esther Perel’s talk on relational intelligence will have you rethinking what you think you know. A link to the source is below. Enjoy! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Hello hi. Welcome to our coffee date. I probably needed this episode more than you did. Robert Greene’s thoughts on the Charles Darwin story and the window between graduation and recognition is everything we each need to remember when facing a new opportunity. What have masters gone by filled that space with? This should have been part of the make yourself unforgettable series. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

source: Simon Sinek & Trevor Noah on Friendship, Loneliness, Vulnerability, and More. In short, why friendship is the hero ingredient to a holistically successful life. Available on Simon Sinek’s Youtube channel or via the link below. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Imagine this: You’re sitting at a dinner party, and the conversation drifts to relationships. One guest says, "I’d never divorce a woman who cooks like this." Laughter ensues, but underneath that joke lies a troubling assumption—one that equates a happy marriage with culinary skills.Now, think about how often we use similar, oversimplified metrics in other areas of our lives. I am a little tired and my mouth is dry but please indulge me and let’s talk about it. Just when you think the episode is done, I will randomly talk about an apple a day :D This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

In this week’s coffee date, we go to the deep places to talk about why som experts say that the life partner you select is the most important career decision of your life. What exactly happens when you get it wrong? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

In today’s express coffee date I share a train of thought kick-started by Tom Sharpe’s The Gropes. Have you, in an unfortunate fit of cleverness, ever hidden something from others and planned to come back for it only to find that you were so clever that even you can’t find it again? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

In this week’s coffee date we discuss thoughts from unrelated sources all inspired by Whitney Houston that come together to teach and inspire thoughts around inspiration versus imitation. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

The world’s most successful YouTuber and Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers have very different ways of sharing similar sentiments on how to succeed. This week’s Thursday express episode is here with the usual 10-minute idea that’s just food for thought as you go into the weekend. Enjoy it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Why have so many lotto winners gone bankrupt? Would you go bankrupt too? Let’s talk about it on this week’s coffee date. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

A thought for the week in 10 short minutes inspired by @tonfifi on Instagram. Let’s talk about “a surge of audacity.” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

On today’s coffee date, we discuss 3 ideas that are worth fully grasping because people often confuse them with different concepts that mean something else entirely: humility is self-deprecation, patience is not sitting and waiting, and knowing your “enough” is not putting a cap on your ambition or dreams. Let’s talk about it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Spoiler alert: one is healthy. The other is not. Yet, one is routinely confused with the other. Let’s end that confusion in this express episode's little corner of the internet. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

In this episode, we dive into Brené Brown's powerful "Lake Travis Story," where she unpacks exactly why the phrase "the story I’m telling myself is" is so powerful that it is used both by fortune 500 CEOs and successfully married couples. This concept helps us engage more deeply with our emotions and assumptions, leading to more honest and vulnerable conversations. Brené uses a personal story involving her husband to illustrate how this simple phrase can shift our perspective and improve communication. By acknowledging the stories we create in our minds, we can navigate difficult emotions, strengthen relationships, and foster greater understanding and connection. Right up our coffee date alley, not so? Let’s dive in. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Guess who’s back? Back again? We are back!!! Tell a friend. I figured I would rest and rethink the podcast. I really imagined I would be thinking about scaling back. Turns out my intellectual brain and my creative brain don’t have the same ideas. The creative brain won so, now, the podcast will be coming to you in long form on Tuesdays and in short form on Thursdays. Meet Thursday’s Express Chai! It’s an episode about 10 minutes long and it…. well, I tell you about it in this episode. See you Tuesday! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

The Podcast is one year old this Tuesday. Remember the days of #CareerTuesday? Me too! It's a little unbelievable that a year has passed since my first shaky episode of the pod. I guess it really is true that you should just start that thing. To mark the occasion, this week's coffee date is a heart-to-heart. I don't have any major regrets in life but some lessons could have done me a favour by showing up a little sooner. Let's talk about those. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Welcome to our coffee date. Today we continue the Crafting an Unforgettable Presence series inspired by the book "Make Yourself Unforgettable" by Dale Carnegie. In this series, we feature little-known stories about little-known folks (by popular culture standards at least) who have an incredible amount to teach us. People like today's subject: Sir Arthur Lewis, the first black Nobel Prize winner. He was also the first black many things as you will hear. I hope he inspires you as he did me. By the way, we are one episode away from a year of episodes. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Hello hi. Welcome to our coffee date. This week we are adding the Stockfish Story to the Crafting an Unforgettable Presence series. The series is inspired by Dale Carnegie’s book, “Make Yourself Unforgettable.” The story is inspired by Mark Manson’s book, “Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope.” I chose this story for its ability to illustrate how one seemingly innocuous skill set can unseat any champion who does not possess it. You and I are no exception. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

This is a toolkit episode. Instead of the usual thesis of change, toolkit episodes speak to specific actions to achieve a particular result. In this instance, getting on with doing stuff instead of the getting stuck in the cycle of intentions with no actions. It's about execution. The toolkit is from the book "The 12 Week Year" by Brian P Moran and Michael Lemmington. I also share how the toolkit helped me achieve my fitness goals. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Once upon a time, my life as it is now was beyond my wildest dreams. And then it wasn’t. The ideas in this installment changed and navigated me here; sharing is caring. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Life is an exercise in feeling, being human and learning. Your relationship with yourself is no exception. Given who you are follows you everywhere, perhaps the greatest chance of success you have is to not run from “yourselves” but to go out with lanterns and seek out each one. Welcome to our weekly coffee date. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

We've all encountered shame and will likely encounter it again in the future. Instead of ignoring this aspect of life, it's crucial to acknowledge and normalize it. This approach enables us to manage shame constructively, foster connections with others, and emerge from challenging experiences with our self-esteem preserved. You will recall the podcast episode in which I explained that your self-worth is guaranteed and your self-esteem is your perception of your worth and that can be high or low or otherwise waiver according to the strength of your relationship with yourself. When you feel shame, for example, you feel less worthy but your actual worth has not changed. It is also important to recognise that shame often is also a master at disguising itself as other things or emotions. It can present as concern, anger, fear of what people will say, guilt, fear of disappointing God, feeling deserving of punishment from God, or defensiveness. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

In this episode, we delve into the timeless fable of "Who Moved My Cheese" by Dr. Spencer Johnson. The fable revolves around four characters living in a maze who are on a quest for cheese, representing various approaches to change and adaptation. Maybe you will see yourself in one or all of them. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

This could easily be a part of the Crafting an Unforgettable Presence Series. I will let it stand alone though. Inspired and informed by Chapter 8 of Mark Manson's book, "Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope," this week's episode is a presentation of a line of thought meant to provoke you to think deeply about the seemingly innocuous choices you make every day and where you (and your money) (and your love life) (and your time) end up. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com

Part 2/2 - “These life lessons are widely known from the highly popular column by Regina Brett. “45 lessons, written by a 90 year old” was originally featured in the Plain Dealer Newspaper in Cleveland, Ohio. Since then, it has gone on to spread the story that Regina is now 90 years old. She is really only in her ’50s, but nonetheless, this Pulitzer Prize finalist has a wealth of knowledge and life lessons that you would think she truly was in her 90’s. Anyone can pick up helpful life lessons from this list.” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chioneso.substack.com