Crafting Solutions to Conflict

I am grateful for the 100 weekly episodes of Crafting Solutions to Conflict published to date.This episode is the 100th weekly episode of the Crafting Solutions to Conflict podcast. I am thankful to Seth Godin and the coaches and peers who supported me through the second run of the Podcasting workshop, starting in October 2018. And to the Old Hands who were part of that group and continue to help me alone the journey. I am grateful for the guests who have graciously shared their insights. And, most of all, I am grateful for the listeners to this podcast. This podcast is for you.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Fisher and Ury use The Orange as a vivid illustration of a key conceptIn the book Getting to Yes, Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher and William Ury tell the story of the orange. It is a vivid illustration of the difference between interests and positions. When we state a position, it’s a proxy for our interest. If we focus on the interests behind positions, we may more easily find creative solutions to conflict. that we should focus on our interests and not our positions. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Our unconscious bias shapes our perspective in ways we don’t easily recognize or accept.Just days after the 2020 election in the U.S., we discuss how we all are affected by bias – in ways that we find hard to manage and hard to believe. Our emotional reactions are so fast and our commitment to our rationalizations so strong that it is difficult for us to change our own minds or to see that others may have their own values and perspectives that seem completely legitimate to them. The first steps to communicating with each other are accepting our humanity and being open to at least hearing an opposing point of view. Howard mentioned his three books: Reinventing Diversity, Everyday Bias, and Our Search for Belonging. You can learn more about his work and contact him through LinkedIn, https://www.linkedin.com/in/howardjross/ , https://howardjross.com/ , or https://udarta.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

The day after Election Day in the U.S. is featuring a number of factors that encourage conflict.Today’s challenges include uncertainty, high emotions, exhaustion, a highly significant outcome, and lots of noise. All of these can contribute to negative, destructive conflict. Yet we have also seen an absence of conflict that had been feared by some: violence and disruption in the voting process. There have also been instances of positive conflict: Republican leaders contradicting a president of their own party. As the future unfolds, we should avoid holding our breath, both figuratively and unconsciously literally. Instead we should count our breaths, in and out.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Vik Kapoor on a UN Office of the Ombudsman pilot peer conflict coaching programVik describes a pilot peer conflict coaching program underway in over 40 countries, as part of the work of the UN Office of the Ombudsman. Vik notes that the views he expresses are his own and do not reflect the views of the United Nations or the U.S. Federal Government in any way; any errors and omissions are his own. The Office of the Ombudsman for United Nations Funds and Programmes' site is https://fpombudsman.org/Vik also tells us about his coaching work with millennials in the U.S. You can find him on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/vikapoor and his website: www.extra-m.com. Vik also offers listeners his go-to self-care graphic by texting selfserve to 44222 (one word, and capitalization doesn't matter whatsoever). This will also subscribe them to his list to get updates on his self-coaching book coming out in April and other coaching resources.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Both inside the group in conflict and outside it, threads of conflict may be hidden below the surface.Hidden Threads of Conflict is the title of a presentation next week for the annual global conference of the Family Firm Institute (FFI). I am part of a panel of three, which is part of a larger group, which is itself a subset of the FFI Mediation Virtual Study Group. It’s been great to work with Jack Wofford, Richard Lutringer, Ann Begler, Natalie McVeigh, Kathleen Hoye, Amy Wirtz, Susan Kaye, Chen Seft-Feiglin, and Marc Silverman.Families, in particular, often think that their own family is the only one that faces conflict – or that theirs is worse than what others face. That’s one sense in which conflict is hidden: people don’t tell their friends and colleagues that they are battling within their extended families. Often conflict is hidden just below the surface. It doesn’t take much to bring it into the open, which can bring an end to stress of hiding it or pretending it isn’t there. Then attention can focus on dealing with the conflict or its basis. And next time there is some kind of conflict, the group will have experienced the benefits of not keeping the challenge hidden.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Every year, The Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) celebrates Conflict Resolution Day. This year it’s on October 15th. ACR is an international, professional organization enhancing the practice and public understanding of conflict resolution. Members include mediators, arbitrators, educators and other conflict resolution practitioners. ACR’s Mission: ACR gives voice to the choices for quality conflict resolution.ACR’s Vision: All people know their choices for conflict resolution. The key word is choices: we make choices about how we will handle conflict. In recognition of Conflict Resolution Day, ACR shared some quotes with members.Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. – Max LucadoConflict is the beginning of consciousness. – M. Esther HardingIn a conflict, being willing to change allows you to move from a point of view to a viewing point – A higher, more expansive place, from which you can see both sides. – Thomas Crum Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. – Winston ChurchillLearn more at acrnet.orgDo you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

An ombuds helps individuals and groups to resolve conflicts and concerns.Chuck explains how the term ombudsman comes originally from the Swedish and means “representative”. Today you may hear ombuds, ombudsman, or ombudsperson. According to the International Ombudsman Association: “Ombudsmen work in all types of organizations, including government agencies, colleges and universities, corporations, hospitals and other medical facilities, and news organizations. There are different types of ombudsmen with different roles, functional responsibilities, and standards of practice including organizational ombudsman, classical ombudsman, and advocate ombudsman.” The organizational ombuds may be the most frequently encountered. As Chuck notes, the organizational ombuds benefits individuals and organizations – with the principle of confidentiality serving an essential function.You can learn more at the IOA website: https://www.ombudsassociation.org/ and reach Chuck at [email protected] you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Considering what we’re missing can clarify why someone disagrees with us.When we are in conflict and can’t understand how someone can hold the position they do, we can consider if we are missing something. Do we have partial information? Or outdated information? Does the other person have a perspective we don’t grasp? We ask ourselves what we’re missing. We can also ask the other person – with genuine curiosity. Even if no minds are changed immediately, channels of communication may be opened or strengthened.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Nonviolent Communication: communicating with clarity and empathy.Dr. Marshall Rosenberg developed the concept of Nonviolent Communication – or NVC – and founded the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC). Very generally, the NVC approach can be broken down into four parts: observing a situation -- without evaluation or judgment; noticing the feelings the situation brings to the surface; understanding what need or value is causing those feelings; and requesting concrete actions that you would like taken that would better meet your needs. You can learn more about NVC and the Center here: https://www.cnvc.org/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Motivational Interviewing helps people resolve inner conflicts and make changes that help them reach goals.Joseph discussed his work as a financial and life planner and how he uses Motivational Interviewing to help his clients better understand how to match their behaviors to the goals they identify for themselves. Motivational Interviewing was developed by clinical psychologists William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick in the area of addiction treatment. Its principles apply much more broadly and can help people resolve ambivalent or contradictory feelings and move to positive change.You can learn more about Motivational Interviewing through the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers at https://motivationalinterviewing.org/. You can learn more about Josephs’ firm at https://abundancewp.com. You can contact him at [email protected] or 510.933.8347.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

In mediation, a trained neutral helps with conflict resolution; in facilitation, there is less or no focus on conflict.Unlike facilitation, in mediation there is always an active dispute. In facilitation, there may be one brewing, one resolved but the resolution not yet implemented, or no dispute at all – just an interest in considering a topic or topics with care. You can learn more at the American Bar Association’s Dispute Resolution Section webpage, in the public access section: https://www.americanbar.org/groups/dispute_resolution/resources/DisputeResolutionProcesses/mediation/andhttps://www.americanbar.org/groups/dispute_resolution/resources/DisputeResolutionProcesses/facilitation/. The International Association of Facilitators has its own description of facilitation: https://www.iaf-world.org/site/facilitators.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

William Ury’s idea of going to the balcony helps in a challenging conversation. In his book Getting Past No he sets out the idea of Going to the Balcony. Trying that strategy can help you three ways: 1) you avoid a knee-jerk reaction; 2) you can a wider perspective; 3) you take a pause – of whatever length is best – in engaging in the conflict. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Better recognition of our body’s role in emotions will help us to use them as an asset.Paula talked with me about how she came to learn about the importance of addressing our body – and not just our mind – when dealing with emotions and stress. You can learn more and reach Paula at [email protected], phone: 646.554.346, or https://www.naturalintelligencesystems.com/.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

The Serenity Prayer provides insights on both personal and interpersonal conflict. Many know the poem credited to the American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr, and that’s how we hear about the inner conflict in trying to follow its hopes. A different challenge lies in the interpersonal conflicts of different perspectives about what is impossible to change, and the courage to change what can be changed. It may take true wisdom to convince someone else to change their perspective to yours.God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,courage to change the things I can,and wisdom to know the difference.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

We’re all in a global pandemic, but we aren’t all in the same situation.Damian Barr’s poem is full of wisdom:I heard that we are in the same boat. But it's not that.We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat.Your ship can be shipwrecked and mine might not be.Or vice versa.For some, quarantine in optimal: a moment of reflection, or reconnection.Easy, in flip flops, with a whiskey or tea.For others, this is a desperate crisis.For others, it is facing loneliness.For some, peace, rest time, vacation.Yet for others, Torture: How am I going to pay muy bills?Some were concerned about a brand of chocolate for Easter (this year there were no rich chocolates).Others were concerned about the bread for the weekend, or if the noodles would last for a few more days.Some were in their "home office".Others are looking through trash to survive.Some want to go back to work because they are running out of money.Others want to kill those who break the quarantine.Some need to break the quarantine to stand in line at the banks.Others to escape.Others criticize the government for the lines.Some have experienced the near-death of the virus, some have already lost someone from it, and some believe they are infallible and will be blown away if or when this hits someone they know.Some have faith in God and expect miracles during 2020. Others say the worse is yet to come. So, friends, we are not in the same boat.We are going through a time when our perceptions and needs are completely different. And each one will emerge, in his own way, from that storm.It is very important to see beyond what is seen at first glance. Not just looking, more than looking, seeing.See beyond the political party, beyond biases, beyond the nose on your face. Do not judge the good life of the other, do not condemn the bad life of the other.Don't be a judge.Let us not judge the one who lacks, as well as the one who exceeds him. We are on different ships looking to survive. Let everyone navigate their route with respect, empathy and responsibility. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Seeing People Through describes how business and organization leaders can profit from the Process Communication Model®.The Process Communication Model® (PCM) is a behavioral communication model that teaches people how to assess, connect, motivate, and resolve conflict by understanding the personality types that make up a person’s whole self, which is the key to leveraging personality diversity. Seeing People Through focuses on helping leaders unleash their potential through PCM. Learn more about the book at https://seeingpeoplethrough.com/. Learn more about Nate and his work at Next Element at https://next-element.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

When we build on positives, we can deal more effectively with conflict. In the midst of conflict in an ongoing relationship, it’s easy to focus on the points of disagreement. Instead, an effort to focus on the areas of agreement, even a number of small ones, can help us handle the negative part more effectively.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

A positive inner conflict can be the catalyst for a purposeful pivot. If you have outgrown your role, achieved a goal, or experienced a significant shift in circumstances or priorities, you may feel an inner conflict that leads you to choose to make a major change. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Courage in giving and receiving feedback can prevent negative conflict. Bill Treasurer, Chief Encouragement Officer, joins me to talk about courage in giving necessary and valuable feedback and having the courage to accept it without being defensive. Understanding how feedback will work best in a relationship, especially in the workplace, is best done before it goes south – and it is an ongoing process. You can learn more about Bill and his work at https://www.giantleapconsulting.com/ (couragebuilder.com) or https://billtreasurer.com/ You can reach Bill at [email protected] you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Template for Show Notes: Title: What to do about microaggressions Episode Summary: Helping ourselves and others to avoid microaggressions reduces negative conflict. Episode Notes: Helping ourselves and others to avoid microaggressions reduces negative conflict. Microaggressions, everyday slights that are based on stereotypes, can create unnecessary conflict. Comments, gestures, and other expressions, whether intentional or unintentional, can feel like insults to the person on the receiving end. When we feel that we are about to say something that constitutes a microaggression – an observation or question – we can embrace our awareness and stop ourselves from blurting out what we are thinking. And we can calmly reject intentional microaggressions that others might offer. For the unintentional – even well-meaning – slight, avoid putting someone on the defensive. More effective: try a suggestion that the speaker consider what it would be like to be the receiver. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Microaggressions, everyday slights that are based on stereotypes, can create unnecessary conflict. Comments, gestures, and other expressions, whether intentional or unintentional, can feel like insults to the person on the receiving end. The first step is to be aware of what we are saying – and, especially, how it might be received. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Selling a business is not just a transaction, but a transition; support in that journey can help. In fact, the involvement of someone who works with the seller to address the emotional impact of a potential sale can help get the deal over the finish line. That person can also help the seller move forward without seller’s remorse.You can learn more about Denise and buy her book, The Seller’s Journey, at http://deniselogan.com/. As Denise phrases it: “I keep people and deals from falling apart.”Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

We can work to prevent pressure cookers when possible and to have personal pressure valves ready when we need them.Pressure cookers can easily create or aggravate negative conflict for ourselves and others. Some pressure cookers are inevitable and beyond our control. Other times, we can prevent them or minimize how severe they are. Either way, we can prepare to deal with pressure cookers by having our individual pressure valves primed and ready to help us let off steam.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Silence can be as powerful as words. We usually think about words we use and how we say them when we consider conflict. Silence, too, matters. It can be damaging, hesitant, or a vehicle for acknowledgement and learning. We should think through what motivates our silence and how it can affect another person.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Approaching conflict with respect and humility allows people to engage with each other productively, not defensively. We discuss Jeremy’s involvement in martial arts, coaching, and how confidence can eliminate the desire to act with aggression. I talked with Jeremy in February 2020. We didn’t know what the next few months would bring. This episode, Number 75, is published on June 3 (in the U.S.) Our conversation would be thought-provoking at any time -- and perhaps even more so in the tumultuous circumstances we are now in. You can learn more about Jeremy and his work at https://pollackpeacebuilding.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Choosing the best location, including a neutral playing field, can help the odds of a challenging conversation being productive. Considering where –home? a certain spot in the home? – to have a tough conversation can help as part of a recipe for success. If one person is especially unenthusiastic about the discussion and/or especially important (and they easily may be the same person), picking the best spot for that person may be a wise move.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

The location for a challenging conversation can affect how productive that conversation will be. Consider where a tough workplace conversation might best take place: in a private place, off-site, somewhere else? It’s one factor in setting up for success.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Families that successfully pass on family businesses also handle conflict successfully. Dennis explains that enterprising families that succeed over generations accept that conflict will happen and take steps, in advance, to manage it effectively. Policies, codes of conduct, and plans to allow individuals and family branches to leave the family are among the tools families can adopt. His most recent book is Borrowed From Your Grandchildren: The Evolution of 100-Year Family Enterprises. The book is available through Amazon or Dennis’s website: https://dennisjaffe.com/. His website also features resources of interest to enterprising families. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Practicing what you will say in a difficult conversation can lead to a better outcome. When you know that a difficult conversation is coming, you can prepare for it by practicing – out loud – how you will start your part of it. And if the words don’t roll off your tongue, try some others! Then try out what you might say as the conversation continues. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

CINERGY ® Conflict Management Coaching includes a smart idea: think about what you know about past conflict experiences with another person. If you can think, in advance of a difficult conversation, how you can avoid the pushing the hot buttons of someone you know, you will set yourself up for a more productive conversation.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

CINERGY ® Coaching builds conflict intelligence and makes conflict an opportunity for strengthening relationships. The CINERGY ® Model combines executive coaching, neuroscience, and conflict management principles. Cinnie described the seven stages of the CINERGY® Model of Conflict Management Coaching: C, Clarify the goal; I, Inquire about the situation; N, Name the elements; E, Explore choices; R, Reconstruct the situation; G, Ground the challenges; Y, Yes, the commitment. As a CINERGY® coach works with a client, confusion about conflict is reduced, and the client gains confidence and competence around conflict. Cinnie is based in Toronto and works globally with individual clients and trainings. To learn more about Cinnie, visit: https://www.cinergycoaching.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/cinnienoble/ and on Twitter @CINERGYCoaching and @ConflictMastery. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And follow us on Twitter, @conflictsolving.

After a conflict has ended, we can benefit from some healthy reflection on it. We can learn from mistakes and also reinforce actions and words that were helpful. In this episode, I reflect on a recent encounter with a customer service rep, by phone. Some things went well – and I have room for improvement!Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

The SWOT analysis used in business can also be used as an approach to look at our perspective on conflict. A SWOT analysis considers Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. When using it to better understand our individual perspective on conflict, it’s important to resist the temptation – especially if you are risk-averse – to see only your weaknesses. You likely have strengths and actively looking for them can boost your confidence in dealing with conflict.Let’s keep shipping, TPF alumni, #createforKate.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Rational planning and overcoming cognitive biases is always important – even more so when a pandemic is stretching across the globe. Gleb has been focused on good decision-making, and how to help business leaders and others do it, for many years. He shared some helpful tips in moving past our savanna-based instincts and more effectively facing the challenges we face today, including the current COVID-19 pandemic. His books include Never Go With Your Gut and The Blind Spots Between Us. You can learn more about his work and find free resources at https://disasteravoidanceexperts.com/ and his LinkedIn profile, https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-gleb-tsipursky/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

VUCA, or volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous conditions provide fertile ground for conflict.We can’t change these conditions but can accept them and acknowledge the effects they have. Then we can make adjustments to deal with them as effectively as possible to minimize negative conflicts.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

VUCA, or volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous is a concept that is tailor-made for these times.As COVID-19 spreads across the globe, even one of the four ideas embedded in VUCA would invite conflict. All four is even more challenging. We can start to meet the challenge by acknowledging how turbulent these times are for ourselves and others. Then, let’s try to be a little more patient and calm – not that it’s easy. But it is worth the effort. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Dr. Nate Regier talks about the true meaning of compassion and its role in conflict. We discussed the core competencies of compassion and their role in leadership in the workplace. You can learn more about Nate’s work at https://next-element.com/ and https://thecompassionmindset.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Meditation, mediation, and arbitration are all valuable processes – but they are not the same.Fortunately, it’s been a while since I had a conversation with someone who confused meditation and mediation. Mediation and arbitration, however, are confused on a regular basis. They have similarities, but also important differences. The most important distinction is who determines the outcome in each dispute resolution process: in arbitration, it’s the arbitrator and in mediation, it’s the people involved in the conflict themselves.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Mediation can be a positive and practical solution to conflict in many more situations than most people realize. Divorce mediation for couples who want to end a marriage is the best-known use of mediation. Mediation can also be an effective option in schools, workplaces, extended families, public policy disputes, and many more areas.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Charlie Pillsbury discusses the vision and work of Mediators Beyond Borders and his path to involvement with the organization. We hear first how Charlie came to the conflict and dispute resolution arena and then to MBBI. Charlie is currently MBBI’s Treasurer (in addition to his other work outside MBBI).The vision of MBBI is “Building a more peace ‘able’ world”. And its mission states that “MBBI builds local skills for peace and promotes mediation worldwide.” You can learn more about MBBI at https://mediatorsbeyondborders.org/. You can reach Charlie Pillsbury at [email protected] or 203-582-8145.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Expectations out of alignment – mine with yours – or mine with reality – cause conflict. Seeing a vast selection of Valentine’s Day candy caused me to think about expectations. When they are not in sync, in a workplace, an extended family, or in a family enterprise, conflict can easily arise. The answer? Candid conversations.Speaking of Valentine’s Day, check out my friend Heidi Frei’s Valentine’s Day episode of The Single Soul Circle podcast, the voice for the joys and challenges of the single life. You can listen on the major listening apps or here: http://singlesoulcircle.com. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

The Institute for Family Governance (IFG) conference last month highlighted how extended families can stay together through wise planning and resilience. IFG describes its mission as implementing strong governance that endures, by empowering beneficiaries through inter-generational planning. The fourth annual IFG conference in New York City brought together advisors, consultants, and the families they serve. Though we attendees heard some familiar cautionary tales of what can go wrong when families fight, we heard encouraging stories too. Families can prosper with resilience in challenging times and wise planning that addresses tough questions and allows for flexibility over time. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Understanding individual perspectives on money can help families who value their legacy to stay connected for generations. Bhaj speaks from her personal experience and her work with families to find ways to help them forge their own paths forward as they seek to preserve their family and their wealth through generations.You can learn more about her work at https://www.focusandsustain.com/ or https://www.linkedin.com/in/bhajtownsend/. You can reach Bhaj at [email protected] or 425.823.0984.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

When someone raises a concern or makes a suggestion, we can choose to react, reply, or respond. It’s worth the effort to think through whether we want to react quickly and briefly, offer a slightly more thorough reply, or an even more thoughtful and engaging response.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Change is one thing that we can count on to occur. In interpersonal conflict, changing conditions can provide an opportunity to move past an impasse or stalemate. Priorities, people, outside conditions, and factual information can all change – and the chance to revisit the impasse opens up.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Jürgen Strauss, of Innovabiz and the Innovabuzz podcast, offers experienced-based insights on innovation and cross-cultural communication. Jürgen’s work in the corporate world included managing teams across different cultures and countries in Asia and Australia. That experience and his ongoing interest innovation enrich his current work, helping small businesses to embrace transformational marketing. You can learn more about his business (based in, but not limited to, Melbourne, Australia) at https://innovabiz.com.au/. You can access his podcast, Innovabuzz, on the major apps or at https://innovabiz.com.au/innovabuzz/.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

The inaugural year of the podcast was great; more insightful guests and helpful tips are on tap for 2020! Join the global audience and enjoy.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

The concept of Christianity’s Golden Rule can be found in major religions around the world. Treating others as we wish to be treated is a universal principle in world religions and considered by some to be an ethical bedrock. In the context of interpersonal conflict, it’s important to remember that the idea is about how we behave in relationship to one another. It’s not that everyone agrees with us or that we convince everyone to see things our way. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

A proverb about family wealth proclaims that it won’t last over the generations. The U.S. version is “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations”. Other countries use other language, but the idea is universal and of long-standing: a family can build wealth but will not be able preserve it over generations. This possibility – some claim it’s a near guarantee – causes stress and conflict over measures to try to prevent it, as well as stress and conflict if it does occur. Additionally, thought leaders in the field are now expressing their own conflicting view of the way the concept has been often used. I agree with them that building on the positives that a family has and can create is preferable to using this well-known adage to try to frighten families into action.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.