Couch Kids Podcast

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BRAH!

OI! Da boys are right back in ol’ London Town (and definitely not Ireland, despite what Colton would have you believe) and dis week da boys are gonna give you da skinny on all sorts of proper gaffes but lucky to you and ya mums because dis week you’re also gettin’ a wee education in da fine arts of fashion! Thanks to da efforts of a kindly Couch Potato! So hold onto ya knickers ol’ chaps it’s another episode of Da Blimey Boys!

WE ARE SO BACK!!! This week, along side the extremely cool hat Ari has on, we talk about some insane cheating scandals in the sport community as well as the crazy time we had at a Wii Sports birthday party! Grab you pawn and place it in your favorite cheat spot, cause we got a banger of anoth-BZZZZTTTT- O-OH MY GOOOOOD!!!

Heya Couch Potatoes, did you get our special notification on Partiful? Huh, no? Maybe your phone is like Ari’s… But don’t despair! This week we are coming at you with a new format! That’s right, the boys are on cam! They plan to sweetly serenade you with vocals AND visuals now! You can expect talk of crushes, Cory’s that are in the house, and a little bit of men’s summer wear troubles! So don’t call customer service just yet, because the party is just getting started!

You guys asked for it - we’re doing it! A full episode of Ari’s Game Cornerrr! (You didn’t ask, but don’t tell him). This week Ari takes the lead, but only after a rousing game of “Is it Cake?!” along with other awesome updates such as Andrew’s improv and Colton’s hours spent playing ZZZ revealed! So fluff those pillows and plant your seat on that cushion, because it’s another Couch Kids podcast! Also… did you try biting this description? You might be in for a sweet treat! ITS CAK—

Calling all Couchformers! This week on the Couch Kids - the depths of depravity know no bounds with Decepticons, as they once again aim to name their callous comrades! But not only that, the boys expose the truth behind their Golden Globe snub and talk a trifle bit of teaching! So collect your cushions and click play, it’s time for another Couch Kids Monday!

Benny Hill blares Whoa oh OH it’s BACK - your favorite (definitely not forced) podcast, Funny Talk! It’s okay folks, you can laugh! Because it’s a joke, we’re the Couch Kids and this week the boys talk all shades of the emotional spectrum! You’ll be able to follow along as they clearly tell you how they are feeling, recap CK 100, a rigged game of chance, and hit you with some foodie fan Q’s of the Week! Benny Hill blares Press play then get silly, because it’s time to LAUGH!

Come one and come all, to the couchiest Couch Kids’ Centennial Celebration! It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for - a promised live show party that is sure to swell your eyes with tears and your bellies with laughter! Guests never before seen will make their appearance! Questions never before asked will be answered! And SO MUCH MORE! We truly cannot thank you all enough for supporting our channel and being a part of the Couch Kids Community! So get in here and enjoy, there’s always room on this couch! 🛋️ 💯

FOLLOW US ON OUR SOCIALS Patreon: patreon.com/CouchKidsPodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couchkidspodcast/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@couchkidspodcast

Twas the week of Couchmas and all through the cushions not a seam was stirring not even a — GAH! Forget the rhyming, it’s a very Merry Couch Kids Christmas! You potatoes are in for a treat, there isn’t a YouTuber out there that wouldn’t envy your seat! AHHH! I’m doing it again - this week’s guest has no room for shouts or cheers he’s a very mean spirit with a grinch-y green sneer! The boys will bamboozle through oodles of topics and talk awards and muppets and Christmas boxes with Hard Rock— Confound it all, stop the Seussian cadence! JUST HIT PLAY!

Uh oh, it’s Monday morning and after a night out of eating Queso con Carne you’ve clogged the toilet - agaiiiin… What to do?! Don’t panic, until your plumber gets there let’s keep the seat warm with a new episode of The Couch Kids! This week we hear some grievances, give an update on Shea Stadium, learn of Andrew’s new look, and answer some fun filled questions that will have you gobbling! This queso of a pod is packed with spices so get ready to dive in!

This Monday, mark your territory with another WILD episode of The Couch Kids! The boys are going to take you to a new space with spilt beer, no toilet paper, and new coyote neighbors! But please, if you’re going to join us, keep it classy - Quarter Zips required! Unless you’re unzipping, of course! So if your yard qualifies, sit back, relax, and let it flow - it’s time to Couch Kids it up!

You heard the call! No, not the turkey call - it’s the call of another episode of the Couch Kids! This week the boys provide a feast of thanksgiving proportions with their multiple personalit— I mean, character antics! Clem roasts Colton like the turkey he is, Ari stakes out his corners, and together they hash out their social media ultimatums! So put your attention in the over and light it up, because the Couch Kids are here to COOK!

Things are looking PREHISTORIC on this episode as the boys discuss the newest bite size paleontological craze, as well as dive deep into the confines of Andrew's crippling disney-themed blind box addiction! So put on your big kid pants and watch where you're stepping, because this episode is for all the short kings out there!

In a world, where one day you may have to vote against Mr. Beast and his contraptions - it’s important to have stability. This week that’s what the boys on the couch plan to deliver! That’s right, your trio is back and better than ever! This week on The Couch Kids Podcast fire up the band as the boys talk boroughs, Brooklyn, Bernie V. Beast, and BANDITS! Unlike the security password at The Louvre, you’ll never guess what’s coming on this pod!

Hey batter batter SUH-WING! And come all the way home to your fave kids on the couch! Colton, Andrew, annnd… honk honk SAMMIE! That’s right the gang is back this week to recount tales from New York, the trials of moving, getting lucky in Vegas, and DO NOT EVEN GET US STARTED ON SHEA STADIUM! That’s right, this week we go back to the ball game and things get heated! So help cool down the cushions by hopping on our couch for another Couch Kids Podcast!

SOCIALS - Patreon: patreon.com/CouchKidsPodcast - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couchkidspodcast/ - TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@couchkidspodcast Crack those cans, cause the Couch Kids aren't just bringing one 'loko' to Halloween... they're bringing all four! Join us, with special guest The Thing, as we talk Demon Slayer, our Four Loko stories, babies, and t-shirt companies!

HA HA! Oh, sorry about that! We were just laughing about all the great Chip Clips we heard lately. What are the Chip Clips you ask? It’s our post-podcast show exclusively available on Patreon. Bummed you can’t listen? Well today, you’re in luck! This week, the Couch Kids highlight two of our favorite recent episodes. Still hungry for more? We have a backlog of episodes on our Patreon for you to listen to! Tired of these rhetorical questions? Jeeez! We’ll stop!

Have a seat o’ spiritual listener of The Couch Kids Podcast, for the hour is nigh and your CK father’s shall begin the sermon! This week it is imperative thou confess thy foodie sins, we know you too hath prayed for burgers! We also insist you repent for the use of your US-Peen modified laptops, your flight fears, and your heinous movie theater etiquette… if you wish to come clean, embrace the light of your favorite weekly podcast and for this week you are forgiven! In Couch Kids and Burgers we pray! 🙏

Plug in your AI lover Couch Potatoes, because it’s time to tune in! This week on Couch Kids the boys explore the ethics and emotions behind chatbot relationships, movie etiquette on planes, Grok gooning, and we compliment Andrew’s beard! Like it or not, you can kiss your Oscar Isaac-like goodbye because this is one podcast that can’t be AI generated!

This week, the chains are off as Andrew and Ari battle to the death on who's hypothetical half animal body would be better suited for everyday living, Colton tells his tales of beach day burns, and possibly his final episode as he takes his first spirit airlines flight!

Hope you’re ready to lock-in, and if you don’t know how, do NOT panic! The boys will walk you through the various levels of the lock… but first they’ll have to set aside their title naming tribulations, then talk leisure in Long Island, clamp down on the fanged follow up of Kobra Kai’s bite attack, and you might even get a visit from Lock-in Larry! All this awaits and more when you press play! (Don’t forget to lather this one up in ranch)

Couch Kid Ari here! We have not listened to this full episode yet but based off the context clues given to us, this episode is about Brazilian Ponies, the worlds largest spider, and..... Chicago? Sit back, relax, and don't forget that THE COUCH KIDS WERE HERE FIRST OKAY??? JUST BECAUSE THE SOFA SISTERS HAVE THE HIGHEST GROSSING EPISODE IN 24 HOURS DOESN'T MEAN THE COUCH KI-

Uhh snee snawww snee snawww - I know you just got out of The Fantastic 4: First Steps, but it’s time to wake up! A new episode of The Couch Kids just dropped! And while we may not give birth in hyper space to keep your attention we will talk all things The Thing and his new powers, Sue Storm’s forced conception, Mr Fantastic’s fantastic plan, and we might even get to talking Final Fantasy MTG if you stick around! So don’t sleep on this one Couch Potatoes, we are about to crash out (despite previously promising no more Marvel crash outs)!Note: if you enjoyed The Fantastic 4: First Steps, your opinion is valid - we are just three dudes yappin’! Please feel free to let us know why you liked or disliked the movie!

First I pull the pod out the grenade, then I subscribed to it! Eh, we can workshop it on this week’s episode of The Couch Kids! No Will Smith will not make an appearance - BUT we do talk raps, discover Andrew’s IMDB rating superpower, expand our Colton Lore, and wipe it all up (yes, poop joke) with our KH flavored Question of the Week! So tune in and definitely don’t tune out if our rap game needs work because our ACME prat game is A++!

Truth be told you’re gonna wanna hit that play button [DING!] because you know it’s time for another episode of The Couch Kids! But this week it’s serious [BZZZT]! The boys play with their new lie detector, go to a fever dream of a funeral, talk coworker biting, discover Colton’s untold heritage, and finally reveal what happened during Project CK! So put your finger in the clamp and adjust your headset because this pod seeks to unveil all! [HOME IMPROVEMENT NOISE]

CHICKENJOCK— cough* Apologies Potatoes, I don’t know what has come over me… Other than another Couch Kids podcast episode! This week the boys finish up Part 2 of their 2 Year Couchiversary Bonanza, but first they definitely don’t waste any time with an improvised visit to the Pokémon Center and talk of the Minecraft Movie! A small detour leads to a sweet reward when we finish up our question round up! We appreciate all the Potatoes who submitted thought provoking Q’s! Thank you so much for 2 years of goofs, gaffes, games, and more! CHICKENJOC—

Hey are you here for the informational on cryptid cryptidology? Well you came to the right place, but before the Couch Kids turn that page they gotta dish out the latest on Andrew’s arrest allegations, Sammie’s top tier Pixar list, talk some real gamer talk, and then get into the myths of mystic and cryptic tales as they search for the scariest urban legends have to offer! You’re gonna want to park it right here for the next hour, just don’t get snatched by the California Cushion Crawler!

Whoa, whoa! It’s a 2 Year Celebration of Couch Kids and you are NOT gonna want to miss your cue! This week the boys answer a plethora of questions from YOU, the fans! But before that we talk gettin’ dummy with wisdom teeth, try out our improv skills once more, get sentimental about our awesome fanbase, rush to the aid of Stick Nation, and much more! So practice your “yes and” skills and hit that play button! Thank you for two amazing years of goofs, gaffes, games, and more! 🙌

Whoa is that a Live Action Remake headed this way?! No, no, no - it’s just your favorite weekly podcast bursting at the seams of your critch as if it’s a glitch, but really it’s just Stitch! This week the boys talk a famous blue alien, camera’s in their local restaurant restroom, the storied history of Couch-O and Grok, as well as a lot of musical reminiscing! So keep it in your pants if you can, this week might get as crazy as the Disney adults in a Burbank Theater!

Wait… what are we here to do? Was is talk about memorials, memories, mammaries?! No no, I think we talked about the Alpha Society with King Charles, the nuances of salt versus sand and their pinches or grains, mayhaps even addressed the latest in leaks, and Greek Pokémon??? Agh, so much to remember… OH WAIT! That’s right, it’s Monday, which means it’s time for a podcast with your fave Couch Kids! Geez we sure hope you didn’t forget - got it memorized?

Order! Order in the court! During this week’s episode of The Couch Kids, the accused will have to face off against plaintiff Andrew as he attests to crimes against his physical and emotional wellbeing — we need our Couch Potatoes to act as Judge and Jury in this riveting case while the boys walk you through their boundaries, bring the HR Toilet to the stand, discuss medical ill-advice, and recount The Great Couch Kids NASCAR Tragedy of 78! You’ll have plenty of evidence to consider - Andrew’s fate is in your hands!

Zebras, Rhinos, Gorillas - oh my! The killer zoo animals are on the loose the The Couch Kids need YOUR help! (Because Colton’s strategy isn’t gonna cut it…) This week we talk messy burgers, zoology that you WON’T learn at school, and most importantly we convene to raise the fighting spirit of 100 men versus 1 gorilla! So don’t be scared soldiers, for now, your place is here… because it’s time for your favorite podcast!

I’m sure you get your news from your local paper mill like all of us, but if not - have no fear, the Couch Kids are here! This week let’s start at the front page with ear-otic topics, then move it along to Ren Faire fantasies, finally arriving at our self-help section on social troubles as well as some fun reaction images! So keep it parked and keep it paperless because this podcast has got you covered!

The sun sets on another day of heroism, you’ve just stopped the dastardly Dr. Ew and his Rouge’s Gallery of terror… the situation got… sticky… But your love for your favorite weekly podcast hasn’t (until maybe this episode)! That’s right heroes, heroines, and every sidekick in-between gather round for another nail biting episode of The Couch Kids! This week the boys trailer-fy their intro bit, bring Andrew’s alter-ego to life, talk tech with a freezer full of Nintendo systems, try some special candy from Idaho, and host a wicked brainstorm session of The Couch Kids Coaster! So keep your hands and legs inside the podcast at all times while we queue the epic soundtrack, it’s time another CK wild ride!

Whenever you’re in trouble they answer the call… RESCUE HERO— er, I mean, The Couch Kids! That’s right, it’s your favorite weekly podcast and although we might not be Wendy Waters, we’re here to quench your thirst! So buckle up as the boys (including a definitely here and not in Korea, Ari) explore their Smash or Pass fantasies, drop some mad Turbo the Snail lore, discuss Liam’s wet pants, and of course we dive into the hearts with some Kingdom Hearts talk! So clutch your fave figurines and sit back for another Billy Blazin’ episode!

Join the CK crew in a special episode of Kingdom Hearts Drunk History, where they answer some of the fans top questions! Colton and Andrew address many of the serious allegations about the series as well as dive deeper into everything Drunk History!

SOCIALS - Patreon: patreon.com/CouchKidsPodcast - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couchkidspodcast/ - TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@couchkidspodcastABC’s? 123’s? Or podcast with you and me?! Pencils down test takers, if you picked podcast - we got you covered! This week on The Couch Kids, our hosts are dropping food for the minds of our hungriest academic Couch Potatoes! Look forward to special guest, Sammie, embracing criticism with Andrew, pizza enrichment with Colton, and of course we talk about the Nintendo Switch 2 Direct! No need to study, this pod is the only practice test you need to succeed!

Lost and afraid in a great big jungle? Hah, have no fear the animal experts are here! This week on the Couch Kids you’re gonna want to dust off that ol’ safari hat as the boys drop some mad mammal facts, discuss the intricacies of taking criticism, and dig into some follow up comments on girly-pop! So grab a seat and pop in your fave pod - it’s another roaring good episode of the Couch Kids! (All criticism of this description will be thrown in the trash— I mean taken very seriously!)

It's not about the money, the stars, or the fame, it's about... how you frame it. Open up your investment portfolios cause Ari and Sammie are taking a deep dive into financial success in the world of Mario Party. Oh, and Andrew's there too.

This week, the Couch Kids are bringing the BOOM! The boys talk about their crossover with the Costco guys and The Rizzler. So heat up your chicken bakes and whip up some double chunk chocolate - you're not gonna want to miss it.

Is that the sound of a broken home echoing through the speakers? Maybe it’s the sound of Colton actually breaking bones as he falls out of his home? Oh, no - it’s just two dudes screaming on the couch again during another feisty episode of The Couch Kids! This week the boys dial up the heat as they throw down on some 10K channel goals, Colton talks the glory of his old water polo days, and the Q of the Week shouts out some other awesome YouTube channels! I hope this podcast passes the safety test because we are about to CRASH OUT!

These boys may not have a license to kill (or the license to 007, like a certain billionaire) - but on this humble couch, they’ve got a license to THRILL with another compelling podcast coming your way! This week we talk tarot readings, the storied history of the 007 franchise, and hit you with everyone’s favorite segment: ARI’S GAME CORNER! So grab your cards, controllers, or Walther PPK pistol! Well maybe don’t grab that last one, IT’S TIME FOR COUCH KIDS!

Be you floodborn, stormborn, or waifuborn - the signals are up and running, foils packs are ready to rip, wallets are empty, and the mics are as hot as our passion for collecting! This week on the couch we are rippin’ Lorcana packs, talkin’ Kronk’s Pregnant Wife, Colton dodges more inquiries into Zenless Zone Zero (a perfectly normal gatcha game with zero ulterior motives), and our Q of the Week hits the nostalgia bone going back to Fast Food toys! If you fancy yourself a collector (or awoogamaxxer) this one’s for you!

The ding of your notifications stirs you from your nightmares! Is it Count Orlok in your DMs or just another Couch Kids Podcast?! What if we told you… it was BOTH! That’s right, couch potatoes beware we’ve got a very special Valentine’s live action episode for you this week with none other than the heartthrob himself Count Orcoc— I mean, Orlock! Love, blood, and decrepit hog are in the air as the boys chat big on our friends at San Jose State, weather the storm of a HEADLINE HURRICANE, and Andrew’s new obsession: LORCANA! So perk up (not you Count Orlock) because you’re sure to savor this pod to the last drop!