Couch Kids Podcast

Huh? Is that the familiar sound of a Volkswagen Jetta horn encroaching us at incredibly high speeds?! Uhh YEAH that must mean it’s another fantastic Couch Kids Monday with special guest Sammie! Whoa, while dodging debris we’ll be recovering the lost chapters of their New Years Eve Party, putting Sammie’s car key antics on trial, establishing some New Years Goals vs Resolutions, and discuss the “finer” points of American culture that our neighbors might not grasp! So if your hurtin’ plug that heart monitor in because this episode is sure to keep a pulse! (Unless you’re Ari…)

heavy breathing echos from your podcast streaming platform of choice it can only mean one thing… THE BOYS ARE BACK! Or you left your Count Orlock ASMR on… Either way we got you covered on both for this week’s episode of The Couch Kids! Grit your fangs and tear open that foil packaging because this week we are coming in hot with our coverage of the Pop Tart Bowl, movie madness, and Andrew’s nuanced impression of Nosferatu (with both a review of the film and a literal impression)! So collect those crumbs, this episode is sure to satisfy down to the last morsel left in the toaster!

Thank you for another amazing year! Take a listen back to our favorite bits from 2024!

More Couch Kids! More Goo! More… SPACE!? That’s right Couch Potatoes, it’s time to take this couch to the final frontier! Before this rocket ignites it’s imperative that you sit through your favorite hosts prep you with some impression antics, restaurant rampaging, and the latest from the Game Awards! BUT THEN you’re ready for take off as we explore a very special Question of the Week! We haven’t sold out just yet folks, so grab your popcorn and pop on this pod - it’s another Couch Kids episode ready to rock your world (and beyond)!

Enter the religious cult of Couch-O! But beware Potato’s, your spuds will be tested! To be inducted you must first survive this week’s episode of The Couch Kids Podcast! So say salutations to your sanity as the boys tell a tale of the upmost cringe, argue amongst themselves over pizza politics, and divulge the deities of the Couch universe! Only the loyal and true will be elevated to sit on the throne of blue… cushions. (We’re still workshopping the scriptures)

Hey, you rippin’ packs or packin’ pizza? We don’t mind, cuz we’re doing BOTH! So slap that play button like it’s a Pikachu Ex - it’s time for another episode of Couch Kids! This week Colton regales you with his disgusting eating habits and comic collection, while the boys divulge their dorky addiction and answer a plethora of Q’s from the Couch Community! So get ready to grip it (a pizza) and rip it (a Poké pack) it’s gonna get messy! (Because of the packs and pizza grease, there were no innuendos in this final statement…)

Tickets please! All Couch Kids to board for a quick trip to Japan! Your usual tour guides, Ari, Andrew, and Colton, will take you from the hoppin’ streets of Tokyo to the beautiful mountains of Nagano and beyond! There’s plenty of songs to sing and tales to regale! But be warned, singing might attract Train Girl to your immediate vicinity. Regardless, this episode is sure to inspire the world traveler in you, so hang on tight and don’t lose that passport! (As there might be some mild turbulence!)

Mic check: one.. two? Is this thing on? We’ll never know because Ari isn’t here to setup the audio equipment! But have no fear, this week on Couch Kids you’re gonna hear us loud and clear as the boys talk their latest Kingdom Hearts drunken bender, Colton’s decrepit pizza, Pokémon TCG Pocket, and Andrew follows up on his misadventures as BABY BOLT with BOLT MAN! So bolt up and brace for the thunder this is one podcast that is sure to shake the house!

YAN you do the YAN YAN?? This week the boys recall Colton's yan yan antics at a wedding, Grimace's huge pull on the Mets RIP), and have a nice in depth business call with our boy Ronald McDonald! So lock in and suck the chocolates off those fingy's cause this week is a grrrraaaannnnd sllaaamm!!!! All hail Grimace.

Spooks n’ scares n’ jumps n’ frights! This week on the Couch Kids, come celebrate Halloween right! The boys are back behind the cameras and the costumes are better than ever (along with new set pieces)! But this pod isn’t just for show, this week we dive into some fun - discussing powerful puns, disgusting decorations, radical math rock, Octillery’s orifice, and WHOA lightning crashes through your screen A VERY SPECIAL GUEST MAKES AN APPEARANCE!? Ain’t no trick’s here, there’s all that and more to treat yourself to on your favorite weekly podcast! Happy Couch-O-Ween!

OH YEAH Lightning Crackles are you feeling the jolt?! Because this week on The Couch Kids our crackling crew discovers the fascinating story of Boltman and his mascot compatriots, Sammie and Ari talk games, and a riveting Q of the Week tackles our latest micro-obsessions! So go grab your best bottle because this episode is lightning that you’ll want to catch! (Disclaimer: do not actually attempt to catch lightning or Joe Sparks Boltman in a glass bottle)

Heyyo Couch Potatoes! Did your phone buzz? Well you’re in luck, because it’s not a green Android infected group chat - it’s a new episode of The Couch Kids and this week the boys are hyped off another Drunk History of Kingdom Hearts, talk Tetsuya Nomura news, zombie hypotheticals, Oscar talks, and of course another Q of the Week! So slap that pop up and press play or we’ll trap you in the endless vibrations of being in a group chat with an Android user!

COME QUICKLY CHILDREN! Follow "Mr. Tumnus" to the MAGICAL world of The Couch Kids for some incredible conversations on Julias Gulias, parody movies, and who Optimus Prime daddy is. And if Mr. Tumnus offers you any Turkish delights, ask for an adult.

Hey everyone, Ari here! I'm out this week so huge thanks to Sammie for covering my spot this episode and (presumably) talking with the boys about how effortlessly fun I am, my incredible ability to maintain a conversation, the overwhelming aura of confidence I give off, and my sick nasty six pack. You're all too kind!!!

Welcome back Couch Potatoes, it’s our big Season 3 episode drop here and crashing onto the scene is everyone’s favorite hedgehog (We are not legally responsible for Sonic’s new catchphrases)! This week we dive into the Mediterranean to catch the tail end of Andrew’s greek tragedy, get a surprise message from everyone’s favorite Costco Guys, field some fan Q’s, and unveil Couch-O’s new digs (courtesy of our talented Sofa Sister, Megan LeMasurier @partycrumbs)! So grab your nearest couch cushion and bite into that chili dog before we speed off onto new highs and new lows!

PATREON: https://patreon.com/couchkidspodcastGET TO THE CHOPPA!!! Something dangerous lurks at the CK Studios as the boys discuss more concert shenanigans, the orgasmic fun of Ready Player One, and how we would jazz up the Olympics! Watch your back couch potatoes, and avoid any sexy looking aliens in fishnets...o-oh OH MY GOD THERE IT-

https://www.patreon.com/CouchKidsPodcastOn the last pod, Andrew ate so many hot dogs HE BECAME ONE! Just in time for the 50th Anniversary Special too! Couch Potatoes you better clear your criminal records because this dog is on the hunt and together with the Couch Kids they will talk Dog’s diabolical bounties, the rise of anime in sports, the recording of Drunk History of Kingdom Hearts II, and hit some awesome fan Questions of the Week! So drop a bark in the comments (but please don’t bite) it’s another week of Couch Kids! Thanks for joining us for 50 episodes everyone!

Oh say can you see? It’s a Couch Kids 4th of July on camera special for our most patriotic Potatoes out there! This week the boys and special guest Betsy Ross move from couch to table with some grilled up weenies in honor of America’s sweetheart: Joey Chestnut! The hot dog counter will tick as the gang talks the decline of modern-day theatre etiquette, public flatulence, debate the relevance of the blimp (including eye-witness testimony of the Hindenburg from Betsy), and of course your classic Question of the Week regarding the many wonders of the world! Can this gaggle of silly summertime geese down these dogs? Will they be able to talk and chew weiner at the same time? Click to find out!

**FOG BILLOWS IN** Couch Kids was just the beginning. Today, we are launching CouchKids+ - all the things you love about the show… just more expensive. Join us as we unveil the latest updates like coyote influencers, parental secrets, and the banning of an American hero. Stay tuned for all the comfort-enhancing details right here on Couch Kids!Find more exclusive CK content on our Patreons!https://www.patreon.com/CouchKidsPodcastFollow us on Instagram here!https://www.instagram.com/couchkidspodcast/

It’s a dual of fates folks - who will fly, who will die, and who will watch Jar-Jar Binks return to the big screen!? Come one come all Couch Kids and find out because this week the boys are divulging their details of being abroad in Amsterdam, regaling the beauty that is Star Wars Episode I, reveal the best of food reviewers, and hit you with a superhero QotW! So gather the lads and get down to clown it’s another Couch Kids Cast!

Lights, Camera, Couch-O! This week for a very special Couch Kids Podcast episode the boys are going LIVE on camera to celebrate 1 year of Couch Kids! Couch Potatoes unite because this week, not only can you see us, but you can join us as we talk: huge uvulas, the Couch Kids character ensemble, and of course awesome Questions of the Week - provided by YOU! So get ready for funny footage and freakish faces because the camera’s are rolling! (And if you can, let us know what you think of this new format!)

Aloha and Mahalo friends! Oh sorry we’re still on island time, but here on the mainland it’s Couch Kids time! Lace up your running shoes and get hydrated because this week the boys are back and they’re talkin’ Maui marathons, helicopter tours, the new meta on CPR, and so much more! (Don’t forget your smash burger before you run!)

Couch Potatoes rejoice! Back by popular demand (and a belated Women’s History month?) the Sofa Sisters make a triumphant return! The ladies dive in by defending The Couch Kids in court, discuss theatrical lottery winnings, reveal their sweet baby pet children, and drop their wild Drunk History topics! So swap the couch cushion for the sofa seat and sit down because the sisters are standing in this week!

While Ari and Colton are away in Amsterdam, Andrew joins his parents on the couch to talk the best (and worst) things to do in LA... along with a couple of embarrassing stories to boot.

Andrew and Ari COME ON DOWN! It’s time to play America’s favorite game - Couch Kids Podcast - with your host… Colton Bot. Who knows what out of pocket thing he’ll say next! Prizes include aggressive radio stations, disastrous trips, unwanted concert interactions, and a grand prize of over 3,300 seconds of pure podcast fun ($1 million value)!

Much like the carpet of the CK Lounge, we are getting DIRTY this week! Join us this on this Easter record as we discuss a not so PG story from the ancient city of Pompeii, the state of Colton's shoe wearing habit, the horror of late-to-the-party platformer sequels, and how WE would design an escape room. So get those shoes on couch potatoes, you're gonna need 'em!

Gather round Couch Potatoes and put those spuds in the air, it’s another Couch Kids podcast! This week the boys walk you real slowly with their sanitary samples in hand, beatbox some confessions, explore Hollywood’s hidden thumb-pire of thumb movies, and answer not one, but many questions of the week! If we make you laugh, pinky promise you’ll consider giving us a thumbs up! *cough* as in hit that like button *cough*

Clear your calendars folks, it’s another podcast from your favorite boys on the couch! Join us this week as we explore Colton’s calendar chaos, Disneyland’s newest Toon Town attraction, new age club ettiquette, timeouts of prom night’s past, as well as a fan mailed Q of the Week about cringe! So grab your Mickey ears and wear em’ early because that’s how the Couch Potatoes do it! R-right guys? It’s n-not lame to wear your Mickey ears early right?

This week on The Couch Kids, roses will fly, hearts will shatter, and one host in particular will cry - this is one pod you WON’T wanna miss! It’s the fated return of super special guest, Anna Hill, from the Sofa Sisters! Join your cast of Couch Kids as they exchange heated words of passion about Super Auto Pets, gambling, Reality TV, and the muppetification of movies! Couch Potatoes everywhere rejoice for drama- the Anna hour starts NOW!

Thump thump thump - is that a sand worm I hear?! No, it’s just your favorite three Couch Kids and their fellow Couch Potatoes back for another week of fun filled shenanigans! Sand step your way through a pod of Dune-pilled banter, prominent political impressions, Facebook marketplace misfortune, and of course a classic Q of the Week! Wear your Arrakis-proof goggles folks because it might get a little spicy!

What’s wrong, Cybertruck got your fingers?! Oh well, this pod’s got more than enough laughs to make you smile! So pop it in and let’s join the boys on an another saucy late night record as they talk bowling inflation, more cybertruck malfunctions, the origins of bananas, and eating raw chicken! So snuggle up and ditch the seasoning because this pod is best served raw!

Snowstorms, tire chains, bears - oh my! Hope you’re snuggled on your sofa because we’re snowed in! It’s a Couch Kids Cabin Special and this week the boys are cooking up trouble in Big Bear, California! Join them for a fun filled discussion on the dangers of the mountain, the epic flames of “Forged in Fire”, some fun shoutouts, and not one - but TWO Questions of the week! Your couch better have chains because this pods gonna get bumpy!

You’ve defeated the Couch Kids Heartless in Episode 14; now, 20 episodes later, you must face their Nobodies! Grab your Keyblades (or a cup of your favorite Fettuccine Alfredo Tea) and prepare for the pod of your life! This week, the boys are going to walk you through their epic game night, talk about their favorite board games, and summon the courage to face the long-awaited follow-up to Andrew’s dive into the Kingdom Hearts series! Will Ari survive? Only those with strong hearts will find out!

Time to get close and comfy! Squeeze in on this week's pod while the boys share a rather intimately close (physically not emotionally) podcasting experience! Together we'll talk anvil antics, foreign exchange student's from Germany, and dive into some time travel shenanigans! So strap those lederhosen on tight and join this tightly packed pod!

Smell that? It’s the smell of gun powder from Cupid’s fresh new love rifle! Love is everywhere and the boys are ready to spread some to you in this very special episode of The Couch Kids! Together we are gonna meet Colton’s new (and definitely real) girlfriend, talk some Palworld, visit a very special rat-shaped hole, and question some long overdue comebacks! So don’t wait, grab that spot on the loveseat! No seriously, take cover before Cupid starts sniping!

We’re putting together a team, and we need your help Couch Potatoes! If you can rhyme and scream “oh YEAH!” - you’re in! So hurry up, into the the Suess-a-verse you go where this week the boys catch you up on the latest shoutouts, dodge cyber trucks, then talk bedroom pop and the golden ages of all things! That’s not a Wocket in your pocket, that’s a notification to dive into this week’s episode of The Couch Kids - quick before the portal closes!

Chants, coughs, and cracked ribs?! Couch-O what’s going on?! Looks like this week our editor climbs out from under the Couch to join the boys for a super special podcast! And they want YOU to join em’ for some summoning shenanigans, the exploration of Agrah’Bronx, running from killer hawks, and reality shifting some fun with the Q of the Week! Come one come all, there are plenty of cushions to go around!

Ahoy Couch Potatoes! Hang on to your peg legs and pokéballs because this week the boys will be traversing time and space to go somewhere fun-filled and fictional in the Q of the Week! Ari dukes it out with Bradley Pittley, Andrew takes on the rage room, and mind’s are blown at the sight of Rupert’s Drop! Hurry don’t get scurvy to this week’s podcast!

The boys are back! Same content you love, different numbers! As in, these pods just keep on rollin’ and this week things are gonna get a little crazy as the three reveal their horrendous traits, new content, Twitch regulations, and outdated hot takes! So what are you waiting for? Clutch that cushion and press play!

Strap in couch potatoes, we're going down memory lane!Starting from our iconic June launch to our festive finale, we've compiled the best goofs, gaffs, and bits of 2023. Great for new and old fans alike, this compilation will get you up to speed on all our ridiculous lore such as Colton's favorite actor, Couch-O, and Ari's Kingdom Hearts beef. From the bottom of our cushiony little hearts, thank you so much for such a great year and a welcoming start on our podcast journey!There's so much more to come in 2024, but for now enjoy the best we have to offer of the Couch Kids Podcast!

Strap in couch potatoes, we're going down memory lane!Starting from our iconic June launch to our festive finale, we've compiled the best goofs, gaffs, and bits of 2023. Great for new and old fans alike, this compilation will get you up to speed on all our ridiculous lore such as Colton's favorite actor, Couch-O, and Ari's Kingdom Hearts beef. From the bottom of our cushiony little hearts, thank you so much for such a great year and a welcoming start on our podcast journey! There's so much more to come in 2024, but for now enjoy the best we have to offer of the Couch Kids Podcast!

Ho ho NO! Grab your picket sign Couch Potatoes and join the CK elves because we’re goin’ on strike! This week on the picket line the boys cover nuanced issues like favorite impressions, gift giving, and Ari being a PS5 Cyborg - so pop this pod in and sign your name to ratify this new deal of epic proportions! (You may be entitled to retro pay of up to 5 marshmallows and 10 holiday cheer, enjoy!)

ERROR ERROR! Someone call IT because this week Couch-O has a virus! But before we wipe the CK Motherboard, join the boys as they try to decipher this Sofa Security Scare, sell you on a new wet vacuum, introduce you to Bradley Pittly, and talk S.O. lines in the sand! So don’t GLITCH, I mean go, anywhere this is another pod that you won’t want to miss!

This week the boys are forgiven by the one and only JC, and get this… He’s here to stop inflation! So take a knee and start to pray because you’re gonna need some divine intervention to endure this week’s sermon! A sermon served by server Colt, including fun topics like: restaurant life, psuedo-OnlyFans names, and forgotten storefronts! Stay prayed up fam. (Featuring special guests: Couch-O, Ken the Neighbor, and Ga’houle!)

Top O the morning couch potatoes!! This week we dive to the end of the rainbow and discuss the legendary Leprechaun films, the controversial Legend of Zelda live action news, as well as the iconic gorilla vs bear debate. So buckle up and kiss the Blarney Stone because this episode is GOLD!

Uh oh, looks like turkeys have taken over the couch! It’s that time of year and these turkeys are here to talk Thanksgiving, movies, Andrew’s Kingdom Hearts journey, the Headless Debate makes a return, and we get a special storytime with sound fx! So shake a turkey leg and get on this couch because it’s another hectic holiday episode!

Scream at your mom, slam the door, and crank it up! Because this week the boys return to the couch to catch you up on their pop punk escapades in Las Vegas, talk toys, and Colton is alive! So that’s good! Expect all this and more as we headbang our way through this emo phase!

Welcome back Cool Cats and Batty Bats! This week for a spooky special your hosts have been replaced by Count Castleton, Coltdee the Dog (Werewolf), and Brainy Brooks the Zombie! Join them on this festive feast for the ears as they devour delectable topics such as parenthood, Hooters, Oogie Boogie Bash 2023, excuses, and paranormal phenomena! So sit back, relax, and turn off the lights because these ghouls are ready to FRIGHT!

Buckle in Couch Potatoes because this week’s Pod is ready for takeoff and we might hit some turbulence as your Couch Kids Captains lead you through some preamble panic, give you the lowdown on layovers, wince at Weinstein’s wiener, and manage some mannerism mayhem! Triple check those tickets, you won’t wanna miss this flight !

Wands, fists, spears, and more - watch out in this mosh pit, it’s a Couch Kids Podcast goof galore! Join the boys on the couch this week as they talk Spartan Races, JK Rowling, Halloween costumes, and more concert mayhem! Monday’s don’t start better than this, so what are ya waitin’ for!?