CORN DOWN Prank Calls

Ok so I didn’t get a chance to listen back to this one yet. I hope it’s good. On the up side, I’ve been doing pretty good at uploading calls (you probably already heard) to my youtube page daily. It’s the worst place to listen to me, but the easiest to share! Tell your uncle. http://www.YouTube.com/dragonmere

In this show I’m not difficult. I’m not obsessive. wasted got hit by a car. Im not stealing. A string of birthday calls, be responsible and sobriety checks and birthday secrets. Happy birthday; Sean, Madison, Bailey, Bailey’s Dad, Georgia, Lincoln, Brandon, Brandons Dad, Eddie, Deante, Matt and more. Looking for jumper cables. Plus other things.

39 calls. Accidental hotel stay. Have you been working here a long time? Hiding spots. A college goof burglary. The type of extension cord you use to beat an outside dog to power my mouse killing machine. Switch my opossum for a raccoon. Raccoon for an opossum. The twizzlers that don’t leave a mark. The secrets of the pumps. Super Mario warp whistle help. Job trial run. Complaints from 3 years ago. Getting physical. Phone calibration. AND MUCH MORE BECAUSE I ONLY FINISHED LISTENING TO THE FIRST HALF.

Oops. I didn’t listen to this before posting, again. But it’s because I had the day off work. So I ended up walking my dog long before I processed this audio, and I usually listen back to it while walking my dog. I think it was raining or some shit last week. Sorry. 33ish calls. 20 min call with wasted getting drive thru instructions. Good shit.

Listen. I’ve been doing pretty good at listening to the majority of the show right before I post it, and putting up at least a rough idea of what the calls contain. I am not going to lie to you. I didn’t do it this week. I’m sorry. All 36 calls are here and ready to go, I just didn’t listen to them. There’s probably some stupid hold music or something I didn’t cut out. Don’t tell my mom, please. She would be ashamed of me.

Lots of calls this week. 45? Relapse incidences information. Feeling nervous. Accidentally buying drugs. Depression food. How does the drive thru work? Lots of going through cars in the parking lot, going through guests rooms, finding concerning stuff. Telling my mom on me. Calling all guests. A little 3 person confusion. Drunk baby. Sneaking alcohol. Hiding places. Hit by a car. Hospital bills. Looking out the window. NOT impersonating the police. AND MORE MAYBE.

Whats in these calls? I’m glad you asked. Enraged rodents with a device b/w Which way is east . Trimmings and clippings of the bushes and grass. Dog cremations. Reporting people for hotel food. Dog sitting in the hotel room. Getting a form signed. Dog won’t eat lettuce. Finding drugs in luggage you stole. Tricky drive thru. Lettuce expert. Possibly more. I don’t know.

The calls this week? Well it starts with technical difficulties which leads to breaking the 4th wall. Stuff for couples. Permission to take clippings. A room to fire people, business. check engine lights. Cricket hunting. Sweepings. AND MORE OH WOW.

Whats in these calls? Permission for hanging out. More introducing Doug. Managers blessing to date. The employees faces, what do they look like? My brother teased my dog. Various bathroom creams. AND MORE. Amazing. Enjoy it. Whats not in these calls? wastedmemory. He had to work.

Interactive tours. Pictures with Jeff. Bad attitudes. Romantically involved employees and issues with HR policy. Introducing Doug. Punch a employees. Beating your kids. Killing an animal for food. AND MORE. WOW. WHAT A GREAT VALUE.

What was in this show? Well, maybe I’m the guy who’s been pissing in the trash can. Is it OK for the uber eats driver to spend the night in my hotel room? My son cut off part of his finger, please find it and throw it out. All these, and more. It was pretty good show.

I’m not going to lie to you and say that I remember what any of these calls are about. So…

Hey I almost remember some of this one. Calls about my feces being stolen, calls about borrowing shovels and burying secrets, and classic calling for the phone number. Plus a ton of stuff I dont remember.

sorry im late with this one. blame wastedmemory for coming to visit and bringing toxic waste. he prevented me from posting this earlier.

Wow I actually listened to this before posting! I can actually tell you what the calls are about! Are you ready? It’s like 90% about kissing. Mostly Trader Joe’s kissing policy. Some hotel parking lot kissing, bathroom kisses, kissing witness, cousin kisses. I also had some issues with my genitals tearing the toilet paper. Checking on pregnancy times, and some general hotel tricks. Oh! And SnappyBakes had debilitating connection issues, but for real, not for pranks.

Damn. All I remember is that the first half of the show was more fun than the second half. It doesn’t mean it’s better, but maybe? So, if you stop half way through, I won’t be mad. But only because I have no way of knowing. I’m not OK with it. I’d be pissed if I found out.

Thank you to the new supporters. I don’t have very much memory of this show. Was this the one with WINDOWS UP? I hope so. Because that was funny. ZIP file attached below contains the calls as individual MP3s. Collect them all!

I dont really have much to say about this show but that I fucked up like 5 times when running my CLOUD BASED AI MACHINE LEARNING audacity macro (its mostly just a butt load of compression) to edit it, and had to start over almost every time. It was kinda annoying. I hope the show is good.

The only thing I remember for sure about this show is I ate an entire dozen eggs all at once. I hope some of the other calls were fun too. Oh, I tossed my wallet on a few roofs, by accident, and that was fun too. I’m sorry for the light audio clipping at some points, I think I know where it came from and it shouldn’t be happening again. Anyway — Enjoy.

Another week, ANOTHER new install of windows. This time on to a brand new SSD (THANKS wastedmemory!!!). So hopefully from pt 56 onward, you won’t hear any of the audio chirping and skipping and cutting out any more towards the end of the show. Fingers crossed, because if it wasn’t a HD read/write issue, I’mma have to replace the whole damn computer, rather than playing with more part swap out bullshit games. I have no recollection of the contents of this show. Enjoy.

Oh look. I uploaded this one the day after the show. You know what that means??? It means calls about parking by employees cars. Asking where to put my weed pipe when I go in the store. Complaining that my change is a small amount. Finding a hotel room not used for sex. Taking empty bags in the bathroom, and taking my clothes off for a poop. Maybe even more stupid stuff than that. Just listen to find out.

Ugh. Apparently Im back in the habit of being an entire week late uploading shows to patreon. Oh well. Maybe I’ll upload tonights show right away, so I’ll be able to put some comments about the contents of the show here, in the body of the post, rather than just rambling. Yeah, that’d be cool. Dont you think?

There’s a bug in my hotel room; Who can I speak to about this?? Thats basically all I remember from this show. Lots of calls about bugs in hotel rooms. Not that I’m complaining. A june bug in your hotel room is way cool. There was probably other good stuff too. Let me know. And thank you to all the new supporters, I love you.

woop woop. uploaded finally. how does a push-button-lamp work? And before you come up here to explain it to me, could you stop out at my car and grab my cigarettes? Thanks I love you.

Affirm your truths! The sky is blue. The sky is blue. The sky is blue. The sky is blue. The sky is blue. Now that you know you can trust me — This was an alright show. I approve of it. But only half-assed-ly; Not because I don’t fully approve of it… Just because I’m lazy.

Here’s just the calls from last night, but not the splink/toxic-waste portion, and only calls that originated from my dialer machine. For the rest, you’ll have to wait for SPLink/wastedmemory to post them. I’M THE FRONT DESK MOTHER FUCKER.

Here’s the christmas show! Grab a cool glass of Christmas/Hanukah Milk and enjoy. But don’t enjoy it RIGHT NOW. Because I edited and posted this during the SPlink/Toxic Waste/wastedmemory/dragonmere NEW YEARS 8 HR SUPER 7pm-3am ET TALKING TIMES right now at http://mixlr.com/wastedmemory are you here?

Show from Fri 18 Dec 2020. Getting caught up! I’m pretty sure I’ll have the Christmas show uploaded shortly after this. I’m also trying to get some calls uploaded to my youtube. It’s not new content, but it’s easier to show YouTube to your uncle. (PLEASE TELL YOUR UNCLE)

woo. this was a fun one. wasted was drunk or something. we discovered how uncomfortable it makes front desks when you ask a hotel if you can buy a punch-in-the-face off craigslist. Its good fun.

Normally I remove calls under 30 seconds, because its usually just me hanging up on a stupid computer system or fax machine or something. This week were were seeing how fast we could get people to hang up on us, so I have to leave all the short calls in. I dont even know if it was funny. It was fun though.

Here’s the ENTIRE UNEDITED 3 HR SHOW! It’s medium good. No guarantees tho.

This shits’ from like 2 weeks ago. How’s come no one harassed me about not having had posting’d it already? Well, here it is. I ‘ma upload the entire pranksgiving too, next. Enjoy.

Oh man. This one got dark. Lots of dead animals and miscarriages. So much fun though.

Oh shit. So CLOSE to being late. Make sure to tune in in less than an hour from now for live calls. on the mixlr. it’s pretty cool.

Ok. Lets see. I remember some stuff. Complaining about the quality of candy my son has collected from the motel. Seeing what would happen if I threw unpaid merchandise in the trash. That’s two things I can remember. And that’s two more than usual. Because it’s Two for Tuesday.

Welp. I did it again. I accidentally waited an entire week to post this, and I’ve lost most recollection of the calls. I hope they’re good. They usually are. Join me tonight at 7 PM ET for more calls that I’ll forget before I get them uploaded. Also get some stickers. And tell your uncle about me.

dammit I thought i already uploaded this but i guess i closed the tab. I had a nice description and everything. Oh well. From this show I can remember a couple cold calls to random phone book numbers turning out pretty funny. A few about yard-sales that are TOTALLY happening and at least one about a envelope of money that Ignacio had left in the mailbox before he rode his bike to Mexico, but not after leaving bank receipts. Enjoy.

Shit, I don’t remember these calls that well. Was this when I was asking for the oldest employees or was that the wastedmemory show? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT. I believe I’m entirely caught up on sending out stickers. If you haven’t got stickers yet, you could join stickers tier and provide your address, or paypal me $5 at http://paypal.me/dragonmere or just hit me up and we’ll work it out. I want you to have these stickers.

Fix’d that virus. Kinda a bonus show to make up for the last Friday calls being lost i guess. And these turned out to be some weird calls. And now I’m not behind on uploading old shows. And ready for the show tonight.

Well. I did have a computer virus. Found it a couple hours before the show. I had quickly installed some bullshit anti-virus software to hopefully keep things running long enough to do the show. It worked, but it also decided that my program that records all the calls was suspicious and blocked it from recording my individual calls. As such, this is the only copy of the show. Enjoy the full mixlr showreel. I’m sorry. Hopefully this wont’ happen again.

9/25/20 Show. Wow. Someone should have yelled at me. I’m like 3 weeks behind. Getting caught up on all them shows’s right now. I have no commentary for the contents of this show, but i bet it’s great. Get some stickers from me. I love you

Holy shit I’m about to be 3 weeks behind. No time for small talk. Plus, if you’re a long time patreon’r, you’d know that I have little-to-no memory of shows’ calls’ if I don’t post them immediately after the show. Lets listen together and see if it’s funny! It could be. Who knows. Oh. Stickers. Get yourself moved into the “Stickers!” tier if you’re already at the $5 level so I can get your address. Move your self up if you feel so inclined. I’m probably doing this wrong and will have to delete the tier later. Who fucking knows. If you don’t want to pledge more monthly, http://www.paypal.me/dragonmere or otherwise paypal me a $5’s and an address. Or drop me a message. We’ll figure it out. Stickers!

Oh man. Look how fast i uploaded this. Its like the next day. wow. So I remember that there are like few decent ding calls, a couple chicken calls, one dinged by a chicken call, one pinged call, and plenty of calls about me not leaving a hotel when I know i should.

9/4/20 show. shit i need to not get in the habit of waiting an entire week to upload the show. I seriously have next to no memory of what happen in this one. Sorry. It’ll be more fun for me when I listen to this in a few months though. More surprising for me. Still waiting on the last(?) sticker design to actually print — it’s taking the entire “up to 3 weeks” apparently to even start work. Some time before October 1st for a link to pay pal me directly for stickers, and a proper patreon tier. SOON!

Haha! I was ALMOST late with this. But not quite. Its still going up before the next live show, which is in a few hours. So I made it. This one was fun. Good complainers, fun with stacking things, wires made of water, and taking apart burritos/hamburgers. Not enough wastedmemory. Oh well. Still had fun. You will too. Probably. Good stuff Dingtember! Do some notes for me please.

HEY! I actually did this the same night. So I remember some of the calls. Some INSANE complainers tonight. Multiple very long calls! Super crazy political guy, he was fun… to a point…. Oh, and the call where the modem was blaring, I managed to tone the modem down a LOT without losing TOO much quality. I’m pretty proud of that. The modem was hilarious. I also removed a lot of the buzzing from the very first call. I’m less proud of that though. It’s still kinda loud, fair warning.

I was trying to improve my MACHINE LEARNING ADVANCED CLOUD BASED AI AUTO AUDIO LEVELING macro to make up for some super quiet callers this week. I screwed around with it for several days, then gave up, and manually edited the one track that was giving me shit. Oh well.

I forgot to upload this right after the show. And as such is tradition, I am totally suffering from forgettingfulness of the contents of the show. I hope it was fun? I’m 99% i talked to the police. Thats always fun.

Oops. The first call is a minute and a half of wet butt. I’ll edit it later, if I remember. Or maybe not. It’s funny.

fun show. SUPER LONG COMPLAINER CALLS. like multiple 10+ min calls. A couple over 20. It was fun though. Thank you all for supporting me, and i’ll see you Tuesday on wastedmemory show!