Better Today Than Yesterday

A special event on Monday was cause for time travel. I remember it like yesterday—the smell of cheap plastic mixed with sweat. I walked to the third one on the right in a row of 15 treadmills. My form was terrible. Bang - bang - bang as my feet tried to keep up with the never-ending black belt of torture. The red numbers glared at me, whispering, “you suck, you are too slow, and you will fail Vohs - again.”Then the beat dropped. The shady spaghetti-eating self-proclaimed rap god came at me hard. I put the track on repeat, jammed my finger on the per-minute mile button, and ran as fast as possible. I had one shot, or so I thought. I ran so hard I was willing to have life imitate art on that gym floor. It was the Spring of 2003, and I would head to basic training two months later. You better lose yourself in the music, the momentYou own it, you better never let it goYou only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blowThis opportunity comes once in a lifetimeEminem turned 50 on Monday. If that doesn’t make you feel old, I don’t know what will. He has been shipping music for decades with almost 400 songs, and he gets lots of airtime when the teenagers have aux in my life. Just a few days later, t-sway dropped another one. Whether you love or hate her, you must bow down to the execution and relentless discipline. She keeps showing up, fighting resistance, and making art. Flexing her PR prowess, she surprised us with an extra seven songs on this album. Make your way to the end of Midnights, and you will find track #20, Dear Reader. Here are a few lines, and I’d encourage you to give the entire piece a listen. Dear reader,Burn all the files, desert all your past livesAnd if you don't recognize yourselfThat means you did it rightMaybe a more fitting title for this track is Dear Writer. Take the plot somewhere new, or make what we have today even better. Remove the unnecessary while recognizing what is terrific about you and your life. Bring that forward, and don’t burn all the files. There are too many lessons and moments to cherish. They are both advocating for growth and change. Don’t let your past, or your wounds, hold you back. Clean your lens so you can see clearly and objectively. Keep working at it, and you will become what you should be. Be gentle with yourself. There is rarely just one shot. Nothing easy here - it takes discipline, courage, and love. Write bravely, friends. Credits This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

Humans began sharing written words 3,500 years ago. Circa 100 BC, the first ‘books’ show up but on different sides of our little blue ball.They were rolled bamboo held together with silk, hemp, or leather in China. This was also when, during the Tang dynasty, that woodblock printing was created. Meanwhile, in the Mediterranean, the Romans are binding vellum (made of animal skin) between wooden covers. Fast forward another 1,500 years, in 1439, and Johannes Gutenberg invents the printing press. That story may be familiar to those in the west, but what I didn’t know was that 200 years prior, the first metal movable type was invented in what is now Korea. This would predate the printing press by more than 50 years, and the first book produced using this technology was Jikji in 1377 AD.The 1800s saw the addition of the book cover or dust jacket. Cloth, being more durable than paper, was often used as an inexpensive substitute for leather. In 1834, Swedish chemist Carl Wilhelm Scheele discovers Chlorine, and before long, we had white paper.When pages started turning white, only 12% of the world could read. Over the next 200 years literacy would expand and by 2016 84% of those over 15 years old would be literate. That is a staggering amount of progress. That said, massive inequalities remain today, with countries like Burkina Faso, Niger, and South Sudan still below a 30% literacy rate.There is good news. In North Africa and the Middle East, those between 15 and 24 are 90% literate, while only 30% of those 65 and over are literate. That means, in one generation, literacy dramatically improved. At 44, I’m thinking about my wisdom journey. How many more books do I have left to read? How much time should I allocate to reading? What do I do with the information? Given my borderline ridiculous desire for better, I’m now taking a course on becoming a better reader. To be clear, my issue is not productivity - I want to honor and learn from the incredible prose in Where the Crawdads Sing or the pithy insight in Midnight Library. Or how do I take the lessons coming off the pages of Ryan Holiday’s books and turn them into action? Saying I read Ego is the Enemy is not helpful when my ego gets in the way of a nice evening with my son. An interesting opposing thought is not to read more books but to re-read. Revisit where you have been and see if it lands the same or maybe something new. It’s like the second or third time you watch a movie, and you discover something that wasn’t there before. A smile, a color, or that subtle costume change that shifts the tone of the story.As part of the course I’m taking, I’ve returned to a book I loved but have only read once. I’m going through my highlights and writing them on little note cards. A couple of passages jumped out and I wanted to share them with you.They are relevant to my week and my humans. And maybe they will strike a chord with you. I’ll dive deeper into this wonderful work another time but feel it’s important that read it a few more times first.The book is The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life written by Boyd Varty. Boyd’s family converted their lion hunting land into a preserve. His close relationship with the African bush and the Shangaan are central to his story. The result is a wonderful narrative chalk full of lessons, metaphors, and wisdom about life through the eyes of a tracker.I am grateful that I can enjoy books like this. I can find almost any book I want and buy it. I have that privilege. I know it’s not true for everyone on this blue ball. Some of them across the globe and some across the street. I’m going to think more how I can help play a role to solve that as education sits central to my own growth and the growth of our community.I will reserve my thoughts on these passages so that you can let them sit with you as they have with me. Please enjoy and take care.From Boyd Varty:"We must learn to read the subtle tracks of the body, the way it relaxes and opens when something feels right, the contraction and tightness when we are not where we are meant to be.""The father washes onto the son. He lives inside you as an aspiration, a disappointment, or a fear. Afraid you will never be like him or afraid you will be; he is there in the bones of your emotions. In the voices in your head. In your expectations of yourself. In the shadows of your weakness or strength. No matter how good the relationship, there is a tension between father and son.""In complete solitude, I stop objectifying myself. In the bush I don’t think of myself on some social hierarchy. I don’t define my value as a comparison with others. The birds and animals don’t judge me. It’s a kind of healing in which I become human again. In complete solitude, we are not a concept of ourselves; we are ourselves." This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

At first, it was called Idlewild Airport. Then it became Major General Alexander Anderson Airport, and after no small amount of city council debate, it was renamed New York International Airport, Anderson Field. A month and two days after the assassination of President Kennedy, it became John F. Kennedy International Airport or simply JFK.The first flight took off on July 1, 1948, with US President Harry Truman in attendance. By 1954 it had the highest traffic of any airport globally. In 2019, the airport peaked with nearly 60 million travelers annually, and estimates say it will reach 100 million by 2050. While that may seem like a lot, it doesn’t even make the top 10 busiest airports globally. Nonetheless, I found myself waiting for our bags at carousel E1 on Monday night and a little girl taught me a powerful lesson. She was probably four, and she had entered full-blown meltdown mode. Complete with cry-screaming, kicking, and general pandemonium. The father did an admirable job taking the abuse and waiting for the storm to pass. With a preponderance of Aruba t-shirts, I imagined this little girl, who turned out have an identical twin, had just gotten off a long flight. Her father carried her to a quiet corner and I wondered what she wanted so badly. I might be projecting here given the cause of most of my temper tantrums, but I imagined low blood sugar played a role. As he tried to talk to her, and eventually set her down, I found myself experiencing a strange emotion - jealously. At that moment, I would have given almost anything to be in that dad’s shoes. Here’s the thing, our youngest son is nearly 12, and I can’t remember the last time I picked him up. That moment came and went. I put him down and went on with my day. No photo. No video. Just one last time. It might have been taking him to bed, a fun toss into the sofa, or that time he tipped over on his scooter. I wish I knew. Today, I’m reminding myself to treat these moments with reverence. A sunrise, the smell of shampoo, or a great cup of coffee. That moment when a friend put his hand on my son’s shoulder at his soccer game last night in a moment of connection. Or when I got home to experience the exuberant ‘shake their whole body’ way our dogs greet me. Or that smile on my wife’s face and the excitement in her voice as she describes our holiday plans (I messed that up, BTW). I must cherish each swim, each hug, those grass under bare feet walks, that first fall fireplace night, or a walk with my princess buttercup. Those are the things that matter. When each one is over, it is one less moment I will experience in my life. I need to honor them. While I ‘knew’ these moments mattered, that little girl taught me the power of the last time. She taught me to cherish each time. We never know when it will be the last time. Enjoy today, friends. Thanks for reading Better Today Than Yesterday (BTTY)! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

Once upon a time, I worked for company that had a bar in this hip area of NYC. I was on the job for about a week, and my new boss said, “go extend the bar by four feet.” Being just out of the military, I barked a crisp “roger that” and marched off to execute. I was excited because I now had a chance to prove my worth. After all, I was back in the restaurant business after eight years galavanting around the Middle East and Central Asia. New York City is arguably the most competitive restaurant market in the world, and there was no small amount of self-doubt dancing in my head. Speed of ServiceWhile we called it a bar, it was really a nightclub. NYC 20-somethings were living their best lives dancing in what was once a subterranean horse stable under the streets of the Meatpacking District. Arches hid little nooks with retro furniture under 200-year-old bricks and a full-sized plastic horse lamp stood next to the DJ booth. True story. If you got past the colossal man standing at the door, you would find a bar that was five deep. People couldn’t get their drinks fast enough, which was the crux of our problem. It was a speed of service issue for us. Our inability to get drinks out quickly was costing us money. When you have a 50%+ margin business, it’s real money. The idea was if we could extend the bar by four feet, which was technically simple, we would be able to improve drink flow and, correspondingly, revenue. Sitting at a small table near the bar with the Director of Construction and the Beverage Director, we started to make our plans. We saw a simple problem with a simple solution. Or so we thought.Meanwhile, the bar was getting set up for the night. A handsome bartender, let’s call him Emilio, was doing his thing. Emilio was what you would expect in a popular NYC nightclub. Confident, cool, tie a little loose, sleeves rolled up, and a swagger backed up by what was probably 140 IQ. To top it off, he also had a law degree. I looked over and saw him shaking his head as we pontificated solutions to a problem for which we didn’t understand reality. I walked over and introduced myself. Emilio laid it on me. Emilio: “Hey man, here’s the thing. I spend 50% of my night using that slow soda gun down there, filling glasses of water for the servers so people can try and avoid a hangover. Also, see this rack of bottles here? It’s only 24” inches long. I have to split up most of my bottles and spend too much time going back and forth between this rack and that rack.”Me: “How do we fix it?”Emilio: “If you give me a 48” rack here and a high-speed water pourer that the servers can use themselves, I know we will be 25% faster.”Emilio gave us a solution that was not only cheaper but incremental. It was a two-way door. We could try this, and if it didn’t work, we could always return to the bar extension idea. Most importantly, it was his idea, and he would be executing it. Remember, he is financially rewarded based on volume, so he is incentivized to help us solve this problem. Our interests were aligned. The Change ProcessI learned a few lessons about change that day. I’m still learning, but here is a framework that I’ve found helpful. I don’t think it’s linear, but a process that repeats as change never ends. * Understand reality: We didn’t know the reality - Emilio knew the reality, and no one asked him. * Identify Key Players: The key players weren’t the suits and it wasn’t me - they were the bartenders. * Collaboratively Decide: We weren’t being collaborative. We were in our corporate bubble. The decision needs to be as close to the problem as possible. * Execute with Buy In: Execution needs buy-in and alignment* Stay Based Reality: We had to implement a mechanism to ensure we clearly understood results AND could stay based in reality.We did what Emilio recommended. We took what was a $20K project, spent $1,400, and saw a 25% increase in sales. Not only was this a lesson in the change process, but also the people process. Hire great people and ask them for help to solve your most challenging problems - if you listen to them, they usually will. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

When you think of Broadway, you probably think of shows Alladin, Wicked, and Hamilton. While these shows take place “On Broadway,” they aren’t located on the oldest North-South thoroughfare in NYC, Broadway St. They are considered On Broadway because they have more than 500 seats. Theaters with less than 500 seats are off-Broadway. Today there are 41 On Broadway theaters and 120 off-broadway theaters. Who knew? I didn’t.There is this thing that happens around these theaters. Restaurants all fill up fast, everyone eats, and then they empty all at the same time. It’s called pre-theater - a mad rush of humanity trying to make a night of it. One afternoon a decade ago, I found myself on Broadway - Broadway and 47th.Before the rush, I sat with the General Manager of one of these massive pre-theater restaurants - let’s call him DF. Names are abbreviated to protect the wonderful. He and I were both in new positions, and we spent time getting to know each other. Honestly, the ‘me’ of a decade ago was probably assessing, judging, and trying to sum him up. Sorry DF.I asked him, “What is leadership to you?”He said, without skipping a beat, “It’s when they know you have their best interest at heart.” I’ve taken his lesson to every role I’ve had since and done my best to apply it. The use of heart here is intentional. It’s about love and care. We all want to be loved, and all want to know we aren’t in this alone. We want to know someone is fighting for us. Someone who will be loyal to us when we aren’t in the room. It even means when you are telling them they no longer have a role on the team. You are doing it because it’s right for them. After all, you care about them, love them, and want them to win.Bonus RoundA handful of years later, I’d find myself back in NYC, and another colleague would lay down more wisdom. I shared a discussion with him in a post two years ago this month and thought it worth resurfacing his terrific view on life. He was in a car accident and had a 5% chance of survival. He stared death down and, with determination, was able to walk away. From that day on, he called his life a ‘bonus round.’ Like getting that 1Up mushroom in Super Mario Bros. An extra life.That statement hit me hard because your lens changes when you’ve danced with death and made it home by curfew. Every day after, you feel lucky to be sucking in oxygen instead of pushing up daisies—your relationship with mortality changes.From Meditations:“This is how a thoughtful person should await death: not with indifference, not with impatience, not with disdain, but simply viewing it as one of the things that happen to us.” Professional MortalityNothing is permanent - not you, your hair, your title, and thankfully not your ego. Your job won’t last forever - one way or another, it will end. Also, you won’t last forever - every day is a bonus.The sooner you get comfortable with these facts, the better. As it relates to your people, ask yourself:* Are you leading with courage, or are you trying to protect your position? * Are you making decisions in the best interest of the team or your best interest? When it is all said and done, do you want them to say you did what was right for your 401k or what was right for the 400 that count on you?When they know you will sacrifice for them, they will do the same for you, the mission, and the people to their left and right. Just like you don’t want to waste your life, don’t waste your leadership opportunity. If you lead by putting people first, they usually help you solve difficult problems. Put people last, and you will come in last - one way or another. Take Aways* Today matters. You might not get tomorrow - act accordingly * Lead bravely - make decisions that are best for the team, not what’s best for you* Lead with loveI’ll leave you with this from Viktor Frankl’s book Yes to Life:I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was duty. I worked—and behold, duty was joy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

Rene Girard was a Stanford professor and polymath who was well known for pioneering the idea of memetic desire. He believed that human desire occurs through observant mimicry. Like an infant learning by watching her parents, we imitate others who have what we value. We CopyLuke Burgis, Author of the book Wanting, gets very clear when he says,Basic survival, sustenance, sex, warmth: these are all instinctual needs for which we have biological mechanisms to help guide us.A desire, on the other hand, is an object we pursue for which there is no purely instinctual basis. We don’t have a built-in mechanism to guide us towards wanting one thing over another. But models can. Models are people who show us what is worth wanting.”We copy others, and for a good reason. We perceive that they are farther ahead on the journey and appear to have the answer. Stated plainly, Mimetic desire means we make our choices according to the behaviors of others. Don’t believe me? Check out this commercial for Lincoln and one of my favorite actors, Matthew McConaughey. Well, I think he has sold a few Lincolns. By the way, I drive one, so there’s that.Do you still need convincing? This scene in Casino Royale brings me immense joy. I watch it with a smile every time. Bond is engaged in another high-stakes poker game. Naturally, the fate of the free world rides on the outcome. Enjoy!Room For Finding?What happens when we find space to exist without the influence of others? Someone very famous didn’t have a choice - Beethoven. As he aged, he lost his hearing. His best work was when he was nearly deaf. Coincidence, I don’t think so. Here is how Arthur Brooks describes it,"It seems counterintuitive, to say the least, that Beethoven became more original and brilliant as a composer in inverse proportion to his ability to hear his own—and others’—music. But maybe it isn’t so surprising. As his hearing deteriorated, he was less influenced by the prevailing compositional fashions and more by the music forming inside his head."Don’t CompeteBeethoven’s loss of hearing took away his ability to compete. While I’m sure he didn’t view it as a gift at the time, his loss of hearing removed the competition. He had no choice but to lean into ‘his world.’ When we compete with others, we copy them. We are chasing what they have or what they are doing. That’s not healthy for us as humans or organizations. More importantly, it won’t result in the best version of the world. It will just mean more copies - more of the same. This is something to consider as you create yourself, your product, or your community. How are you being influenced by those around you? Are you able to find the space to be you? Or are you worrying and copying what others are doing or what they have? There is only one you in the world - how can you leverage, lean in, and love that gift? Take Aways:* We look to others to tell us what we should desire. That’s okay, be aware.* When we compete, we are copying. * Make space to be you. There is no one else like you, be you. The competition is in the mirror. One final thought, happiness is the absence of desire. I am still trying to tame my desires, but I am a little wiser influence. I’ll leave you with this quote from Lao Tzu,"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you."References:Casino Royale. Directed by Martin Campbell. Performances by Daniel Craig. MGM, Columbia Pictures, and Eon Productions. 2006.Brooks, Arthur. From Strength to Strength. Portfolio, 2022.Burgis, Luke. Wanting. St. Martin's Press, 2021 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

David Cain wrote This Will Never Happen Again. It’s not a long book. I recommend it if you have an hour to take some solid perspective. I’d also recommend his blog.In the book, he says this,"Theoretically, if you know what you love, then every time you make a decision, you’ll have a pretty damn clear idea if it’s taking you closer or further away from what you love. You’ll know the right thing to do. So self-love is a moral issue. It consists of doing the right thing."It’s an interesting reframe. It makes loving yourself and what you do a moral issue. If we accept that loving our fellow humans is required for morality, and I do, why don’t we view loving ourselves as a moral obligation too?Takeaways:* Loving yourself is now a moral imperative. * Recognize when decisions take you closer or farther from what you love.I’ll leave you with this scene from the pursuit of happiness.And before you go, please remember this is an important day. It is a day that saw our world change forever. Please consider taking time to honor those who fell on 9/11. Also, don’t forget the hundreds of thousands the world lost over the next two decades.War means no one wins - when we love each other, we all win. And for those carrying scars, grief, and loss - you aren’t alone. Stay strong, and please let me know if I can help. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

I find it easy to stumble around in the forest of my to-do’s chopping wood.Walk, stumble, lean head against tree unable to see anything else, blindly swing ax, chop chop chop. Repeat.With my forehead against the tree, I can’t see the path and chop whatever is in front of me. When I’m too busy chopping, I can’t take time to think clearly. Am I doing the right things? Am I planting new trees for tomorrow? If I’m not careful, I might clear-cut the whole darn place.Chop Chop ChopThink about your work and how you work. Are you living at the top of your inbox, reacting to the latest email (chop, chop, chop), or are you making enough space in your life to think?Our society values doing, not thinking. Productivity, to-do lists, GSD, and hustle. We chop till we stand proudly in front of a pile of done. This doesn’t work for me. It used to, but not anymore.A) I know I can’t do everything. My time is finite.B) I don’t want to.I owe it to the team, at home and work, to spend my most important currency, time, wisely.Balloon TimeIt’s easy to blame others, but we can’t control them, so let’s look in the mirror first. While we need time on our schedule to chop wood, we also need time to think about what wood to chop. Let’s call this balloon time - I’m talking about the hot air variant here.This is when you can be still, silent, explore, and rise above the forest of your work. Gain a different perspective, surrounded by quiet, and see the path from above - the course you will walk, what wood to chop, and where to plant new trees.In our time-starved society focused on do do do, Balloon Time won’t happen by default, only by design. You have to plan for it, schedule it, and be intentional about it. Most importantly, you must recognize it’s required to do your work well.From renowned management guru and former Intel CEO Andy Grove:"Forcing ourselves to concentrate on the decisions needed to fix today's problem is like scurrying after our car has already ran out of gas. Clearly, we should have filled up earlier. To avoid such a fate, remember that as you plan, you must answer the question: What do I have to do today to solve-or better, avoid tomorrow's problem?"Takeaways:* Schedule balloon time - time to get above the chop chop chop to think* With the proper perspective, the path becomes clearSources This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

My favorite movie is Braveheart. Given my desire for freedom, this one strikes a cord. The second is Gladiator, an epic action drama that I will assume most of you have seen, and if you haven’t, you have homework.It’s another story of oppression, war, love, freedom, and sacrifice.Here’s the gist - the father (Marcus Aurelius) has a son (Lucius Commodus), the son is immoral and all around not a good guy, the son is passed over for thrown by the father, the father dies, the son is pissed and takes it out on father’s favorite general. The general, played by Russel Crowe, makes things right - eventually.While the storyline is fictional, two main characters, Marcus Aurelius and Lucius Commodus are not. Both lived in the mid-second century.Marcus AureliusMarcus was known as the last of the five good emperors. Machiavelli coined that phrase when he said, “they had no need of praetorian cohorts, or of countless legions to guard them, but were defended by their own good lives, the goodwill of their subjects, and the attachment of the senate.”Throughout his life, Marcus wrote 12 books titled ‘things to one’s self’ as a source for his guidance and self-improvement. What he wrote almost 2,000 years today is incredibly relevant today. For example,“It’s silly to try to escape other people’s faults. They are inescapable. Just try to escape your own.”It would take 1,500 years before it was translated and published as Meditations. This is from book 12,"It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own."Despite being an emperor, he did not want accolades - he wanted to do his duty. He would have blushed at the idea of how far his thoughts have spread, but I think he’d be satisfied to know his struggles have provided us all with beautiful lessons on how to live a good life.Here’s one more from book 7,"Everywhere, at each moment, you have the option: to accept this event with humility [will]; to treat this person as he should be treated [action]; to approach this thought with care, so that nothing irrational creeps in [perception]." Back to the movie.In the beginning, we find Marcus on the front lines facing a germanic horde and simultaneously struggling with the idea that his immoral son, Commodus, will succeed him on the throne of the empire. This is a sicking thought for a man who never wanted to be emperor and knows Commodus is immoral and selfish.In real life, Marcus would die, causes still unknown, near modern-day Vienna. In the movie, Commodus kills Marcus.This happens just after Marcus tells Commodus that Maximus, the general, will succeed him and return Rome to the people. This symbolizes, for me, Commodus’s choice to choose himself over the community.Lucius CommodusIn real life, Commodus would rule for 14 years, and compared to his father, and it would be a time of peace. What was not peaceful was the political strife he created.Commodus cared deeply about what people thought. As he became more self-absorbed, he saw conspiracy in every corner of the coliseum for a good reason. It turns out he was right. It would take them a few attempts, but a wrestler, Narcissus, would strangle Commodus in the bath.Psychological diagnosis aside, Commodus worked incredibly hard to create a persona that eclipsed even Marcus Aurelius. He would claim godlike status as the reincarnation of Hercules. Commodus was, in his mind, a demigod, a protector, and a warrior who could defeat any foe. He cast himself as the son of Jupiter and away from the source of his true power, his father.He was unique and important, and he was the bringer of a new world order that only he was capable of providing. It was all about him and his legacy.I Care What People Think TooWhile few of us are immoral, and even fewer would claim to be a god, we share something in common with Commodus - we care what we people think.If you say you don’t, well, A) Good for you or B) I don’t believe you. One way or another, I think we all do. Very few ever reach that peaceful place where they don’t give the perceptions of others a single moment of consideration.As much as I want to say I don’t care what people think, I know it’s not true. I hypothesize that the more someone says they don’t care what people think, the more they do.If they are anything like me, they want to be liked, admired, respected, and loved. While I have guilt when I have those feelings, I know I’m not bad. I’m just a guy trying to make it through this crazy world while dancing with all of my insecurities.The real question for me and us is how much energy we spend on satisfying those desires. Our battery is not inexhaustible, and we need to spend that energy wisely.How will we use our energy?We wake up each day and have a full battery - 100%. That is the amount of energy we have to put into the world. Whether it’s our work at home, our work on ourselves, or our work for others, we only have so much energy. How much of your battery do you

This episode is made for listening 🎧. Don’t miss it.Discovered in 1811, iodine was originally called iode from the Greek word for violet colored (ioeidēs). By 1931 it had been anglicized to Iodine, and this is where we find a little boy in a school house bathroom.He was sent there by his teacher, Ruth Shaw, to apply iodine to a minor wound. Well, he did what little boys sometimes do, precisely the opposite of his instructions. Bright-eyed and smiling he took this bottle of purple-ish fun and got to work on the walls. Not a care in the world. Just him, his fingers, and a huge canvas.We imagine Ms. Shaw’s reaction when she checks on him a few minutes later. Fortunately for the world, Ms. Shaw saw art, not shenanigans. This would be a moment of inspiration for her, and she would go on to patent non-toxic paint and the art of finger painting - a technique that resulted in more than a few refrigerator masterpieces.If we take a moment to think back to this time in our lives, we were unabashed with our application of color, swirls, and all the other things your free-wheeling fingers could dream up. No judgment, no admonishment, and zero criticism. We didn’t get grades, feedback, edits, or “did you think about?”Even when ROY G. BIV turned a solid brown, someone told you how wonderful it was and, by extension, how wonderful you were - because it was and you are.Enter The No. 2 PencilWhether it was something in the water, the depression, or just chance, 1931 was also the year that a high school physics teacher, Reynold Johnson, invented the machine that could automatically score tests. This invention would end up being a boon for No. 2 pencil salespeople and their colleagues peddling it’s close cousin, the scantron. While not Mr. Johnson’s fault, our school years would move us from paint-stained fingers to don’t color outside of the little bubble, or it will be wrong. Quite suddenly, we funnel from divergent tendencies and free-form paint swirls to something that converges on the practical—a specific pencil in a little bubble. I am not here to admonish the educational system but only use these tiny fear-inducing circles to make a point. Society tells us it is impossible to be right if you are outside the lines. Experts, and their freewielding opinions, can make this even worse. The Expert TrapWe all see the world through our lens - our perspective. As we look to provide feedback, it is almost impossible for us to be objective. We apply our knowledge, our preferences, and our history. While deep experience is valuable it can also kill innovation. As we become experts, we risk falling into the “expert trap.” It is too easy to believe that because of our experience, we know more or that we are right.I’m an expert on some things and a complete dolt on others. And truth be told, I’m not sure which is which sometimes. Now, where I hold strong beliefs, you would be hard pressed to convince me to change my mind. For example, tell me that culture doesn’t matter in an organization, only strategy. I’m not sure I’m capable of even processing that and I’m incapable of considering it without a strong bias against both the idea and the corresponding dolt.When we become experts, real or perceived, we defend our position. We dig trenches, oil our weapons, and if we are not careful, we will die on our hill and take the entire company with us.If you don’t believe me, let’s look at a few comments from experts.There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. - Steve Ballmer, USA Today, April 30, 2007.There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home. - Ken Olson, President & Founder of Digital Equipment Corporation (ever heard of them? ya, me neither)"There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will. - Albert EinsteinTelevision won't last because people will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night. -Darryl Zanuck, movie producer, 20th Century Fox, 1946.It will be years - not in my time - before a woman will become Prime Minister." - -Margaret Thatcher, future Prime Minister, October 26th, 1969.What flywheel will you spin? Whether respected or feared, leaders have tremendous power. Words and actions can change the course of the team and lives. It is an enormous responsibility, and we must be thoughtful and cautious.Here’s the dilemma. Do we share our biased opinion on how to make something better, or do we open space for confidence and creativity? I give this no small amount of consideration daily, and unfortunately, often AFTER I’ve provided my ‘expert’ opinion. My ability to see the 1% wrong and tell you while missing the 99% that’s wonderful is stunning.As a leader, if I spend my time applying ONLY MY perspectives to YOUR ideas, I will train you to bring me what I want and what gets you the least amount of criticism. I’m saying, “color in my preverbal scantron bubble, and y

This episode is made for listening 🎧. Don’t miss it. TRANSCRIPTFor me, life has this sneaky habit of adding more. More appointments, calories, expectations, more desires. My ability to say ‘yes’ is prolific for those who know me. A glance at my calendar, and you will see what I mean. Arthur Brooks shares a piece of wisdom in his new book, Strength to Strength, worth spreading. It was a story about the difference between Western and Eastern art...kinda. A Blank Canvas?Ok, close your eyes. Visualize someone about to make art. Go ahead. I’ll wait. For me, it’s a canvas. A blank canvas on an easel with a paint-splattered human prepared to turn that sea of white into something else. They are probably getting ready to create happy trees. Brooks shares a story of traveling in China. His guide related this straightforward but impactful analogy. In the west, art is a blank canvas that you fill up. In the east, art is removing the parts from a piece to create something beautiful. The Great AccumulatorsI hesitate to give you a trite analogy such as “we are the sculptor of our life,” but the more I think about it, the more I think it’s true. We are born, and over the years, we add. We add skills, possessions, desires, ideas, fears, and talents. We are great accumulators. If you are like me, maybe not everything you accumulate is useful. At a minimum, the once useful becomes less useful, but I still hold on. Things, relationships, desires, and fears. Some of my reasons are intentional, and I am very self-aware. Others, more unintentional, and I’m clueless.At some point, we start to realize what matters. We gain clarity and the necessary tools with age, experience, and repetitions - tools to protect and remove. For me, saying yes is still a massive weakness. At work, at home, and in my head. I see clearly that I am saying yes to what matters by saying no.If we remove the unnecessary, we find the necessary. And we find ourselves—our beautiful self.I know I can do most things well, but I can be extraordinary at what matters with focus. Wish me luck. ;). An Incredible Human, Who MatteredBefore I go, I wanted to share something that happened this week. Early one morning, I found myself binging on some of Robin Williams's best scenes. I’m unsure what provoked me to start googling him and his lines. That night Princess Buttercup would tell me it was the anniversary of his passing. Thank you, universe, for reminding me that this world had an incredible human that brought so much joy. Also, thank you for reminding me that we each have hopes, struggles, talents, and dreams. Let’s help each other with those. As we consider the loss of this incredible human, let’s not forget to check on our humans. So many struggle but don’t share. They think they are alone. They aren’t. Hug your humans. We are on this journey together. You never know when that hug might mean all the difference in the world. Something to consider as we think about what we add and remove from our lives. Take care out there…and more importantly - in there. Credits This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

MADE FOR LISTENING - Don't miss out. TRANSCRIPTOver the last year, we have been searching for several senior executives to join our team. While we have an extraordinary team, we have bumped into resource constraints. Said plainly, we don’t have enough time. The business doubled, the team tripled, and the caffeine intake quadrupled. Whenever I spoke to a prospective candidate, I would find myself saying we need additional ‘executive capacity.’ Given my disdain for buzzwords, an internal voice would come over the PA and say, “You need to be clear, Kelly. What the heck is executive capacity anyways?” Throughout those searches, I formed my perspective and thought I’d share how I describe executive capacity and, by extension, what it means to be an executive. Titles, positions, and more buzzwordiness. Organizations have managers, directors, Vice Presidents, Senior Vice Presidents, Executive Vice Presidents, and Senior Executive Vice Presidents - phew. That's a lot. But wait, there are more. There are CEOs, CIOs, COOs, CTOs, CDOs, CMOs, CLOs, CPOs, and CAOs. There are two CAOs - accounting and administration. There are even CHOs - Chief Happiness Officers. No, really. It's a thing. I'm missing some Cs, Vs, and who knows what else. I loathe titles but recognize their usefulness in providing clarity - maybe. Along with all of these titles, we have managers and leaders. With no shortage of answers in the world describing the difference between those, I'll leave it to the google machine to answer that fully. Because I believe executives must be both managers and leaders, I want to share my thoughts on the differences quickly. * Management = head focused * Leader = heart focused Executive Capacity - what the heck?Like being a leader, a title does not grant you entrance into Executiveville. This is about capability and capacity. Executives are:* Vertical experts* Horizontally connected* Calm and calming* Clarifiers* SimplifiersNow let’s dive into each one. Vertical ExpertsDeep functional expertise allows executives to go” vertical” They know their functional area (finance, marketing, etc.) better than most. They can go deep and get down into the weeds, or they can go very high and paint a vision related to their functional area. Horizontally ConnectedWhile they are world-class vertically, they know enough to pick their head up out of their functional silo and look left and right. They understand the adjacent verticals enough to think through the issues and opportunities. They are dot connectors. They are capable of bringing disparate ideas, functions, and people together. Additionally, they recognize that they play a role in a larger group. As an executive, they must fight against creating silos of excellence and fiefdoms. They are particularly passionate about NOT weaponizing of power, information, or title. Calm & CalmingA tremendous amount falls on these leaders’ shoulders- the organization's requirements, the emergencies, and the needs of their humans. Generally, their choices range from horrible to cataclysmic. It can feel like a front-end loader is constantly dumping massive rocks into their rucksack of responsibility. Executives have a superpower - they respond, not react. They handle stress and pressure while maintaining composure. Over their career, they have faced issue after issue, and ultimately it all works out - one way or another. Most importantly, they know what to do when faced with tough situations or decisions. For me, when the pressure is at its highest, I have five things I try to remember. I might not always be successful, but I give it my best. 1. Focus on what I can control 2. Stay positive 3. Stay consistent but flexible 4. Communicate constantly 5. Don't forget the missionThey know they must manage their psychology and put their oxygen masks on before helping others. ClarityAs the pressure mounts, executives work to see what is happening. They want to understand reality, not perceptions. They seek clarity of thought, communication, and priorities.They work to slow down, even stop, to assess the situation. They know the fog of war has an astonishing ability to enable bad decisions. They work to let the water settle so they can see the bottom clearly. Maintaining internal clarity is crucial. It's impossible to be clear with the team if you can’t see clearly inside yourself. Clarity allows them to quickly work with their teams to take the rocks in their rucksack and redistribute them. Either to other teammates or, better yet, toss them out entirely and leave them on the side of the road. While it can be frustrating to those around them, they also try to make decisions as late as possible. The answer is often clear, but they don't make decisions until they must. This provides more time for more information and to let things develop. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. I love this from Peter Drucker“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”If you haven't re

Made for listening TRANSCRIPTI wanted to share a few takeaways and ‘ahas’ from a book by one of my favorite authors. The book is The War of Art, and the author is Steven Pressfield. He was first introduced to me when a ripped copy of Gates of Fire - a novel about the battle of Thermopylae, made its way around a small cohort of us in basic training.This is an extraordinary account of what the men of Sparta did and didn’t do at the hot gates as they faced the Persian horde led by Xerxes. In many ways, we wanted to be just like them. We were ready to meet our fate with our brothers with dreams of being sent off like Leonidas was in the movie 300.[AUDIO CLIP PLAYING NOW… go listen 😉]If you have never heard of Gates of Fire, maybe you know Pressfield’s first book, The Legend of Bagger Vance. This later became a movie starring Matt Damon and Will Smith. Bagger Vance, played by Smith, materializes when the protagonist, Damon, needs him. Here’s a piece of his wisdom we should all take to heart. “Yep... Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing... Somethin' we was born with... Somethin' that's ours and ours alone... Somethin' that can't be taught to ya or learned... Somethin' that got to be remembered... Over time the world can, rob us of that swing... It get buried inside us under all our wouldas and couldas and shouldas... Some folk even forget what their swing was like…”Pressfield has worked at his craft for a long time. At 78, he has published more than 20 books, and he’s still going. Astonishingly, he didn’t publish his first book until he was in his mid 50’s. He consistently wrote for 17 years before being paid for his work. I often revisit several of his books, and The War of Art is at the top of that list. Pressfield wrote this in response to being constantly asked by friends “how to turn the corner, make art, or start a business.” His answer - don’t let resistance win.ResistanceResistance, a universal force, has one mission - to keep things as they are. It is what keeps you from achieving your dreams and taking creative action. It shows up in the form of self-doubt, procrastination, and fear. This from The War of Art - Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. We experience it as an energy field radiating from a work-in-potential. It’s a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, and prevent us from doing our work.Pressfield’s point is whether you are trying to start something new, write your novel, make your art, or get in shape - resistance shows up. It’s that little voice in your head telling you all the reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t. It’s when you say it’s too cold, too rainy, or your knees are too arthritic. It’s those unopened paint tubes and cellophane-wrapped canvases. It’s an evening of binging your favorite show instead of writing. Or the chatter in your head telling you someone else is better or you’re not good enough. It’s when your internal monologue is chock-full of ‘can’t’ and all the other justifications you feed yourself. Pressfield describes how resistance is here, disguised - it’s like the terminator in the way. Resistance is fear. But Resistance is too cunning to show itself naked in this form. Why? Because if Resistance lets us see clearly that our own fear is preventing us from doing our work, we may feel shame at this. And shame may drive us to act in the face of fear.Resistance is unapologetically here to kill - your dreams. Seemingly produced by Skynet, it travels from the future to hunt you. It’s staring down at you when your alarm goes off and graciously helps you find the snooze button on your life. The Evil Sidekick Resistance has a sidekick - rationalization. That devious devil makes us feel better about many things - that donut, skipped workout, or a job masquerades as some story we are telling ourselves. Even worse, that career we pursued either to satisfy our parent’s dreams, chase status, or commas in our bank account.It is as indiscriminate as rain. Rationalization steers towards easy now, hard later. Maybe you are stronger than me, but I don’t go a week, perhaps even a day, without letting this cagey little bugger own me.Resistance, and rationalization, want you to fail. It will show up and do everything in YOUR power to shut you down—day after day. The Bad News?The bad news - is it NEVER goes away. Like the terminator, try to drown it in a vat of molten metal, and it will keep coming. It will keep hunting you with its beady little red eyes, trying to kill - your dreams. [AUDIO]Pressfield shares that resistance showed up even when writing The War of Art. Telling him that he had no business trying to share any wisdom with the world. As prolific as he is, he beat resistance back each day by hammering out those pages. Bottom line, he got to work — day after day after day. The Good News?Here’s the good news - resistance and its evil partner, rationalization, can be tricked and starved. Fir

Note: This post is made for listening :) but I’m including the transcript if that is not your jam. TRANSCRIPT[00:00:00] Hey there. I wanted to follow up on my other note about one of two things leaders are responsible for. The second one is compensation. And there's a whole lot to unpack there, so let's try to do it through a little bit of a story. I'm going to answer a question I get all the time, and that's “why did you join the army?”[00:00:18] And the reason is pretty simple, it was about compensation.Why did I join the army? [00:00:22] Let's go back 20 years, and it's 9/11. I remember very clearly where I was maybe like, most of you. I was at The Breakers, which is a posh hotel in Palm Beach, Florida.That Tuesday morning, I found myself in a meeting room getting ready to give a presentation on a new piece of software. News started to trickle in that something had happened in New York and it wasn't clear how bad it was.More information would come and we'd realize that something horrific had happened.[AUDIO CLIP]It was a very emotional day for everyone, and we'd spend the balance of it huddled around the TV, listening and trying to learn what was going on? I'm trying to understand what was happening in new Yorkers, what would happen to our country, and what our future would be like? What we did know is it was all going to be very different.A DecisionA couple of days later, I woke up and I made a decision. Channeling a very famous scene from the movie Patton and my grandfather, I decided that I wanted to join the Marine Corps. In fact, I wanted to be a pilot. So I marched down to the Marine Corps recruiting office and I started that process.Over the course of the next few months, and a lot of tests and a lot of things, the Marine Corps told me that I wasn't cut out to do that. They wanted me to be an infantry officer and that's not what I wanted. I think if I look back, it was purely a lack of commitment on my side. Maybe too slow, maybe too colorblind, but if I wanted it, I probably could have gotten it.[00:03:48] And if I'm being honest, I quit. Now the good news is a couple of weeks later I'd say something that would change my life forever and really impact everyone around me.At the hotel, there was a long hallway, a very narrow hallway, the kind where you have to step aside so two people can pass each other. On the walls, they had motivational posters from the 1990s, complete with eagles soaring and all the things. Now, this was the time before we all started pushing pixels via email and you had to get your information from printed documents. Down on the right, there is a small room about the size of a closet. This was a mail room. This is where those documents ended up in little slots on the wall.[00:04:33] I remember that day. I remember what the room smelled like, the temperature, and a beige phone sitting on the counter. My vision started to blur and that phone was my focus and I said out loud, "If there's ever another war, I'm gonna enlist."Don't pass go. Don't collect $200. Skip all your egotistical dreams about being a Marine or a Naval aviator or any of those things. Just go get in the fight, Vohs. Now looking back, that was a little naive - but that's what happened.I had a deep, deep, emotional desire to serve a country that had given me so much. I knew for the rest of my life, that it was going to give me more. I needed to do something about it. I needed to serve. At my core, I wanted to defend freedom as hokey as that sounds. That's my, "why."[00:05:26] It's also part of the reason why I ended up picking to go and special forces because their motto is De Oppresso Liber - "to free the oppressed". Now if I reflect back and go a little deeper, there are other emotions at play here, some of them were, self-centered like a desire for admiration and an immature understanding of war highly influenced by Hollywood.So not long after that speech to myself, we would end up invading Iraq. And whether you agree with the politics or not, that at 26 year old, we returned to that moment in that mail room and that beige telephone and he got to work. Two weeks later, on my mom's birthday, I would end up enlisting. Happy birthday, mom.[00:06:09] Here's the deal. My ratio changed. My compensation ratio.The Compensation Ratio & The Three Types of CompensationEconomical[00:06:21] The first is economical. What am I going to get paid? We all need or want to put food on the table, steaks in the freezer, and Tesla's on the charger. Now as leaders, there are a couple of questions we should ask about the economical form of compensation for our team.* Are people being paid well, and how does it compare to the market?* What would it cost to replace this role?* And most importantly, do they feel valued for what you're paying them?ExperientialThe second is experiential. Everyone, whether they realize it or not wants to grow and get better.* Ask yourself, are you providing an opportunity for people to gain experience? * Ar

About ten years ago, I was fortunate to attend the JetBlue orientation. What they do is incredible. On day one, everyone attends orientation. The day starts with senior executives joining and introducing themselves. So far, good, but not a big deal. The big deal? Either the C.E.O. or the number two attends every orientation in person. That means, whether you are a baggage handler or an executive, you start on day one with the same attention. They take action to make you feel deeply cared for and important - because you are important. I spoke with a former senior executive there on Friday, and they still do it. Bravo friends. For me, I must meet with everyone who joins the team. We are still small enough that it’s possible. But hiring 110 people so far this year makes it challenging. It’s also tough to make deep connections which are central to leadership. In addition to making a connection, I owe them an explanation of what they can expect from me. I also need their help holding me accountable. To do that, I share my perspective on what I do and what I expect their leaders to do. I used the analogy that leadership is like a road trip for a while. That long stretch headed towards something meaningful. On that trip, you play different roles. You drive, navigate, and sometimes sit in the back asking questions. Are we there yet? Can we stop at In-N-Out? Maybe you fill the tank with gas, change a tire, or take Aux - that’s “teenage” to control the playlist for those uninitiated. Hopefully, you listen and try not to tell the driver how to drive. I love the road trip analogy, but it wasn’t enough. C.A.R.E.Leadership is about love - love of the mission and humans- and practicing enough self-love to keep it all together. Leaders are ‘responsible’ for the C.A.R.E. of the team. Here’s what that means.ClarityAlignmentResourcesEmotional ConnectionClarity * Where are we going (vision)? * What are we going to do (strategy)?* How are we going to behave (culture)? * Why are we going to do it (mission)?* Do we still understand reality?You will note the absence of “How are we going to do it?” Leaders are not responsible for all the answers but accountable for the decisions. Leaders must ask questions, listen, synthesize, and remind. They are the keepers of the vision, the explainers, the inspires, and the clarifiers. They must keep an open mind to change while also being a broken record.“This is where we are going (vision), this is what we agreed we would do (strategy), this is how we will behave (culture), and this is why we are doing all of this (mission). Quick question, does that all still make sense (reality check)?” Alignment Are we all walking down the same path? Are we all clear on where we are going? * “Hey John, come back - you are chasing a shiny butterfly again.” * “Who needs a flashlight? That’s a tree, not a monster. Let’s keep going.”* “Are we still headed where we wanted to go? Do we need to adjust the course?”Resources Does everyone have what they need to do what the team needs them to do? Time, money, training, tools, etc. Resources are essential and often overlooked. Someone joins our team, and we toss them the keys and say, “Go forth and do good things.” Regardless of seniority, you owe expectations, training, tools, and feedback - and make sure you sprinkle that all with a bit of inspiration. Most importantly, you are the resource - you work for them. Organizational charts are upside-down pyramids. Step in when they need you and step back so they can shine. Emotions We are emotional - embrace it. This makes anything to do with humans complicated and leadership hard. We all bring different needs, histories, and languages to the group. Here are some questions to consider:* Do you make them feel safe? Not from physical harm but emotional harm. * Do they feel that you have their best interest at heart? Even when you are having hard conversations or making hard decisions?* Have you created an environment where people can connect and care about the people around them? Or do they have to worry about protecting themselves?* Have you synthesized the mission into something everyone can understand and believe? Can they get emotional about it? * Everyone wants to do things that matter. Jump out of bed matter. Do they realize what they do matters? Have you told them?* Do they feel loved? They want to be loved for who they are, what they do, and their impact.Hard StuffNone of this is easy. Humility, resilience, courage, empathy, and the need to be multi-lingual are all required. This is in addition to being technically competent enough to earn the team’s respect.Also, you need to take care of yourself, so you can stay calm and stay clear. Stress, anxiety, and fear can cloud your judgment. When you lack internal clarity, you can’t provide external clarity. Make it about them, not you. Lead with love, questions, and trust - they will follow you. Get up each day and do your best. Just try and be better today than yesterda

I took another personality test this week as part of my work. It was enlightening, scary, and chock-full of reality. Also, it clicked for me that we are all different. That may seem incredible, but it’s true. I think I understood it intellectually, but I see it now. I’ve spent much time working on understanding myself, my motivations, and my why. I do this to try and be the best version of myself I can be. Buried deep are the reasons why I show up the way I do: money stories, admiration stories, and love stories. The Lens We CreateThese stories color my expectations of myself and others. They help create a lens through which I view life. This lens is contoured by the times when it went right and when it went sideways - by the celebrations and by the defeats. We act differently and for different reasons. Even for the people closest to me, I’m still trying to figure out why they do what they do. And for myself, I’ve been around for 15,000 sunrises, and I’m only starting to let the water settle enough to see glimpses of my why. People Are GoodMost people want to wake up, be good, and do good things. They want their life to have meaning and purpose. They want joy and to enjoy. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way, and it’s not always their fault. Now, I believe everyone needs to take responsibility for their actions and life — I also recognize a ‘why’ in every action. People don’t intentionally do a terrible job at work, cleaning their room, or communicating in relationships. Let’s not put them in a box, regardless of the label, and leave them there.But People Are ComplicatedHumans are complex, and we react to internal and external pressures. We do things we feel are correct at the moment but may look different in the rear view mirror. Let’s complicate this further. 1 in 5 adults in the US live with a mental illness, and 1 in 6 US youth aged (6-17) experience a mental health disorder each year. Look around the room, the dinner table, or the screen - 20% probably need more help than you think. Additionally, we’ve all had varying degrees of support throughout our lives. Different role models, levels of love, education, and privilege have shaped us. And in some cases, the complete absence of some or all of those. What do we do about it? Let’s Be Complicated, TogetherHere is the good news. There is more good in the world than bad. More people are inclined to help than hurt. It may not always feel that way, but it’s true. Here are two choices we can make. * Assume positive intent. Decide they are doing their best. If you can help, help. If you can’t help, at least don’t hurt. You can apply this to yourself too. * Ask for help. This is a sign of strength, not weakness - let’s not forget that. I’ll leave you with this from Dale Carnegie: Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain. And most fools do. But it takes character and control to be understanding and forgiving.I hope you found this helpful, and if you did, please share it with someone else who might too. Stay strong out there. Take care. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

Let’s roll the clock back a bit. I was sure I wouldn’t make it out alive when I joined the Army. And if I’m being honest, I took risks that I shouldn’t have. The good news is I was wrong. Not everyone was so lucky. When I left the Army, I re-entered the civilian world with a different view of death. I had accepted it as inevitable, but not in a positive way. Worse still, there were times that I embraced in an unhealthy way. For those that struggle with depression and think you’re alone, you aren’t. You see, we are masterful storytellers. We are probably the only species on this planet capable of time travel visiting the future and past with regularity. That allows worry and regret to wander around, spotlighting monsters who lurk in the shadows with names like rejection, loss, loneliness, or failure. We even travel back in time and relive moments that haunt us. Your Brain, On FearThere are two ways we categorize things: threat or non-threat. With a perceived threat, your body changes. A small part of your brain, the amygdala, goes to work and takes over. Hormones are released, blood starts flowing, and you prepare for a fight (or flight). You probably know exactly how that feels, and maybe you know the science too. Let’s pause for a moment, and this is important. We are constantly categorizing threat or non-threat. Once upon a time, it was about saber-tooth tigers. Today it’s your co-worker, a comment from a partner, your latest scroll through comparison world, or the email you just opened at your kid’s soccer game. Okay, back to the science.As some parts of your brain are gearing up, others are shutting down. The cerebral cortex, the area responsible for reasoning and judgment, becomes impaired. Said another way, you become foggy and start to make poor decisions. You stop being logical, and this takes ugly forms. Stress, anger, anxiety, frustration, and their accomplices show up. Your aperture closes, your viewpoint narrows, and your perceived alternatives reduce. Since you are focused on survival, you concentrate on the ‘bad’ and let the one thing you can control run wild, your thoughts. James Allen shares in As A Man Thinketh - “You cannot directly choose your circumstances, but you can choose your thoughts, and so indirectly, shape your circumstances.”Your Brain, On Reality Nothing is permanent. Not you, not me. Nothing. Everything is in a constant state of transformation and at some point, it will be all something else. Not gone, just something else. Why does this matter? The threat of change is what causes fear. If we get comfortable with the inevitability of change, we can see fear for what it is - a thought that you let become a story. Truly understanding that fear is a ‘thought’ you can control is a superpower. This allows you to reset your brain and lean into logic, rather than emotion. If you let your sabertooth tiger emotions possess you, you will react when what you must do is respond. Your ThoughtsI haven’t found anything in the world I can control except my thoughts - and even that’s a struggle. Thoughts are what matter because they are what you will become. All you achieve or fail to achieve will be the product of your thoughts - we must think carefully. James Allen, with a beautiful analogy for the mind. Your mind is like a garden. Just as a gardener cultivates their plot, keeping it free from weeds and growing the flowers and fruits they require, they tend the garden of their mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts. They cultivate flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, they sooner or later discover that they are the master-gardener of their soul, the director of their life. They also reveal how thoughts force the shaping of their character, circumstances, and destiny.Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bad fruit.My Brain, On HopeI’m a bit embarrassed when I reflect on ‘the me’ a decade ago. Actually, I cringe. Fortunately, many things have changed about me over the years. Some good, some bad. I hope those around me would say that the bad gets less bad, and the good gets more good. Ten years from now I hope to reflect on the ‘today me’ and be equally embarrassed. If I’m not, I’m doing it wrong. And coming back to mortality, today I think about it very differently. I work to make decisions each day to honor that eventual change without fear. I try to do that by loving each moment, even the ‘bad’ ones.I hope this weekend finds you celebrating with friends and family - celebrating courage, freedom, and who we have, not what we have.Take care out there 🤟. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

NOTE: Made for listening :). The transcript is included below if reading is better for you. A hurricane took away the first thing I bought with my own money. Not quite a teenager yet, a summer of washing dishes resulted in $345. Every penny went to a new camera and film. Unfortunately, that camera, and all of those photos, were lost in 1989 in Hurricane Hugo - but my love for light and art wasn’t. With photography, you can stop the world from spinning. With the right light, and perspective, you can capture something compelling. Photography is about perspective. You have to stop and see what is there. If you aren’t present, you’ll miss it.Technically it is light that makes photos and how much you let hit the film is what matters. This is purely the mechanical opening and closing of a small part of the lens - the aperture. Ego plays a similar role. When you approach things with a strong ego, it’s like looking through a paper towel tube held up to your eye. This gives you a very limited point of view. When you check your ego, you put down that tube and let in the light. It doesn’t mean you have to change your mind, but at least you are not confined to a narrow perspective. There are 7.9 billion perspectives on this mostly blue ball - this should make us excited, not defensive. It is impossible for us to all have the same perspective and that is wonderful. Yet we often enter conversations with a need to either be right or not wrong. The person across from you has been through a life and collected so much. Your time with them is an opportunity to learn. How do you get comfortable with the idea that you’ve run into someone who can teach you something? Who may change your mind? Who may shift your perspective? I recently re-read To Kill A Mocking Bird and I love this line from Atticus Finch: “You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view...until you climb into their skin and walk around in it.”When we listen, everyone winsListening is a win/win for everyone. The listener gets to take in perspective, knowledge, and maybe even wisdom. The speaker gets to be heard, feel special, and experience someone caring about them. Loving them. When we take the time to listen, we learn. What is essential about listening, and maybe this is where it is lost, is it doesn’t mean agreeing. No rule says, “You can try and teach me, but I must teach you too.” It’s not a competitionSociety has put us in a position where we think we have to compete. We are constantly scrolling through competition. If you are better, I’m worse. If you are winning, I’m losing. We are all on very different paths. We all have different hopes, dreams, talents, advantages, and struggles. What’s easy for you is hard for me. What’s easy for me is hard for you. Our equations are different, yet we find it incredibly easy to compare ourselves. That is all self-induced, and it needs to stop. Stopping is about stopping* Stop Moving: Stop moving in your mind and stop moving physically. Square up and focus. When someone is talking, listen. If you care, take notes and ask questions. Treat them like a teacher and seek to understand. Say “Tell me more” until there is no more. * Stop Comparing: You CAN win without someone losing. If you genuinely care about yourself, stop letting your ego get in the way of your progress. Your competition is in the mirror, not out the window. * Stop Competing: We win when we get better - whatever better means to you. The truth is, you may find more joy and peace in helping others win. * Stop Being Unkind: The words we use matter. Words like “please” and “thank you.” Words like, “tell me more.” Also, words like “you are right.” Or especially words like, “I was wrong.” When you agree with someone, don’t hesitate to say “you are right.” Just make sure it is followed by a period not a “but.”Life is just perspective. And while it may seem that we can control very little, we can always control our perspective.Finally, I’ll leave you with this beautiful exchange between Scout and Atticus - again from To Kill a Mockingbird - Scout says: “Atticus, he was real nice...” Atticus replies:“Most people are Scout, when you finally see them.”Take care out there. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

NOTE: #020 was made for listening :)It was arguably one of the best concerts I've ever attended. A semi-circle of musicians brought us seven songs with a number of impromptu solos. It was beautiful. This group of nervous but confident fifth graders found themselves in a dark, windowless room with excited and proud parents. I arrived curious but excited, and if I’m honest, I left a little bit wiser. Here are some of my takeaways. Stillness“We must be silent before we start,” said the teacher in a gentle but non-negotiable manner.In the world of fidgety tweens, there is utility in requiring stillness and silence. But it was clear this teacher was sharing something more profound, and it was no accident. These brave girls and boys were practicing one of the secrets of a peaceful life.Ryan Holiday in Stillness is the Key:“We must cultivate mental stillness to succeed in life and to successfully navigate the many crises it throws our way.” Or from James Allen in his 1903 pamphlet“Self-control is strength; Right Thought is mastery; Calmness is power.”My takeaway: Stop. Focus. Be still. You got this.Be Brave. We Are All A Work In ProgressThe skills ranged from barely keeping up to a boy five feet away that would share the results of his YouTube binging - Bach’s PreludeIf you don’t recognize the name, like me, you will recognize this classic. You can listen to a beautiful version here. Up next, a thin violinist across the room stood up and said, “I’ve been working on this. It’s Pirates of the Caribbean.” Finally, something I knew, and I wasn’t alone as other parents smiled a bit more confidently now. He started, and six seconds in, he missed a few notes. He stopped, shrugged, smiled, and confidently said:“It’s a work in progress,” and then he sat down. What he was really saying was: I’m learning. This is the best I have right now. I’ll get better. Please bear with me, and I’m not scared. Thank you for being supportive.No shame. No embarrassment. Just facts. What if we could all approach things in life that way. Explore, stumble, learn, and grow. Do we make room in our heads for that? Do we create spaces where others can be free to try new things without embarrassment? Or are we too afraid of failure, real or perceived, to try something new? Let’s not let pride, fear, or social comparison keep us from the joy of experiencing something new. My takeaway: New things are worth it. Be brave. We are all a work in progress. Take a moment to digestAt the end of each song, we would clap. Whether the group or a soloist, the musicians would try to sit down quickly. But the teacher would make them stand back up and take in the applause. It was all very intentional. Maybe that’s something we each need to do more of? Take in applause? Or maybe just take it all in. Digest the good that is right in front of us. Not the perfect, but the good. My takeaway: Can I have the discipline to slow down and enjoy the moments?From Neil Gaiman in Make Good Art:“..let go and enjoy the ride, because the ride takes you to some remarkable and unexpected places.”It’s Better, TogetherThere was a moment when I looked across the room, and the bows were all moving in unison. The sound was incredible, and I had another overwhelming feeling of awe. Maybe it was because my son was playing, or perhaps because I had never picked up a violin and had no idea how they were doing it. I think it was because they were together, and they were truly together. The notes were lining up, and it was magic. My takeaway: It is better together. Make Things Art YouDon’t be afraid. Don’t worry about what people think, especially that person in the mirror. Make things. Do it alone or do it with friends but whatever you do, do it. And as it relates to art, that’s what you decide. Do that for yourself, no one else, and enjoy it. I’ll leave you with this, again from Neil Gaiman:And now go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Take are out there. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

Someone's leaving our team, and she's a good one. Both because of what she does and who she is. I had a conversation with her last week in a last-minute attempt to save her. She said something that resonated with me: “I have to think about how this looks on my resume.”That got me thinking about an article I read by David Brooks, and here's what he said:It occurred to me that there are two sets of virtues, the resume virtues, and the eulogy virtues. The resume virtues are the skills that you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral. Whether you are kind, brave, honest, or faithful. And were you capable of deep love? Which of those lists is your priority?Are you building on your eulogy virtues, or are you spending too much time building your resume? What do you do about it? Should you have a life resume? As with most quests for further wisdom, I turned to my friend Google. A search for “life resume” returns 544,000 results. Try just “resume” and get 2.5 billion. Not surprising. By the way, I also searched for “relationship resume” and it got weird, really fast. Sitting at the top of the “life resume” search results is a 12-month coaching program for building a life resume. I kept digging and found the life resume advocate Jesse Itzler saying:“There are three kinds of people you will always remember: The people that helped you during difficult times, the people who left you during difficult times, and the people who put you in difficult times."I would add: “Remember the people that helped you do what even you thought impossible.”And when you do that impossible: “Remember the people that got more excited about your achievements than you.”What is a life resume? This is not about the tally of things you did: the trips, the races, or the Pina Coladas (Miami Vice for me, thanks). Life is about your humans, those relationships, and the impact you have on their lives? * How do you make them feel? * How do you help them with their struggles? * How do you help them with their dreams? * Are you the call when things are falling apart? * Do you judge them or love them? * Do you show up at funerals or only weddings? I’m going to lean on this list as I try to be a better father. Her life resume is strong.Back to my friend who's leaving. I wasn’t able to save her but she is doing the right thing because we don't have what she needs, now. I’m going to miss her but we can't help her to continue to grow and maybe one day she will come back. The good news is she is filled with eulogy virtues. Her life resume is strong and she is leaving us better than she found us. I assure you she will continue to do that with everyone else she bumps into on her journey.I think that's all any of us can hope to do. Just leave people in places better than we found them. Take care out there. And take care of that resume, but choose wisely. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com

New format this week - give it a listen or a read. Please let me know what you think :). TRANSCRIPT:The author of Atomic Habits, James Clear said in his newsletter last week: Most big, deeply satisfying accomplishments in life take at least five years to achieve. This can include building a business, cultivating and loving relationship, writing a book, getting in the best shape of your life, or raising a family. Five years is a long time. It's much slower than most of us would like. If you accept the reality of slow progress, you have every reason to take action today. If you resist the reality of slow progress five years from now, you'll simply be five years older and still looking for a shortcut. I love this. And it got me to thinking: What are some of the “successful”companies and organizations, and when were they built? I looked up a couple to see how long ago they were founded. A teenage favorite in my house In-N-Out burger founded in 1938, REI 1948, apple 1976, Starbucks 1971, Netflix 1997. The truth is if you want to do something you've got to do the work and you've got to do it today and then you've got to do it tomorrow and you've got to do it the day after. It takes a tremendous amount of focus and discipline to keep going. It also takes a level of humility because it's not going to work at first. You're going to put it out there and the world is going to criticize you. You're going to face doubt both from inside your own head and from those around you. You're going to have the same people telling you why you can't do something, whether that is getting in the best shape of your life, building a business, starting a nonprofit, or building a very deeply loving relationship with someone very important to you. What we want to make sure as we don't look back and have lots of shoulda, woulda couldas. You have to take action today, but be prepared for it to take a long time to be what you want it to be. So, if you want it to work, you have to do the work. The real question is what are you going to do today that makes the life you want five years from now? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kellyvohs.substack.com