Beat Your Genes Podcast

In today's show, the dr's discuss the following topics: 1. As a somewhat successful women in her late thirties, I find many males attracted to my stability. I feel almost viewed as an asset to potential mates in the dating arena. Someone they would show off to their parents. Even to hear, 'we could do so much with our incomes combined'. Dr. Lyle has stated men are not much concerned about provisions from the woman. I would like to hear your download on this. Along the same lines, I hire a dozen or so people a year to help in labor type jobs. Most of the individuals are in their 20's and seem to lack work ethic compared to people in their later 30's. I automatically think that the millennials lack work ethic and it is 'learned behavior'. How do you explain this from an evolutionary standpoint? My point is, if laziness isn't learned, why does it seem like we have more lazy people today than in previous generations? 2. I am concerned when I hear people and even Dr's say things like masks and social distancing and virtual learning is the permanent new normal. Even Dr McDougall has voiced some of this recently on a webchat. Why is this the trend, and is it going to be, Life isn't fun at all and I am finding this depressing. Months ago I shared Dr Ionaiddes and similar opinions on Facebook and got shut down hard. I apparently had the audacity to question the mask wearing and social distancing concepts and got ugly angry responses; it feels dystopian to me. Not a single person I know seemed to voice any of this? Am i the nut?

In today's show, the Dr's answer and discuss the following questions: 1. My high blood pressure medication is causing me to underperform in the bedroom to the point where I feel extremely anxious, embarrassed, and guilty that I am losing this part of myself to old age. My doctor says it's either the meds or a stroke, so I follow her advice. My wife is very supportive, but I can't help but feel guilty. How can I help her understand that I do love her and that it's not her physical appearance that is causing my malfunction? 2. Eating foods that make you feel horribly bad. Why am I abusing myself in such manner? Can you help me understand the cycle? 3. When caught between the pleasure and ego trap for food is one way out to somehow get to the point that you know you can eat whatever you want but truly don't want to eat the high fat food? Or is the only way out to be sick and your life depends on it? 4. Can you provide a succinct, complete definition of the term, "Pleasure Trap" in your book of the same name? 5. I'm curious as to why and how we got it so wrong for so long with regards to genetics vs environment. We blame genetics for chronic diseases (diabetes, high cholesterol, cancer, etc), and we blame environment for our personalities, intelligence, behaviors, and life choices. When in reality, it's the opposite. Who we are individually is genetic, and what diseases we get are driven mostly by environment (food and lifestyle). Once we found out the earth was round and revolves around the sun, most people caught on. How long do you think will it take for society to 'catch on' to the truth about genes and environment?

In this replay of episode 185, Dr. Lisle answers these questions: 1. Given the profitability of prescribing pills and surgical procedures, do you believe the mainstream medical-industrial-complex will ever reach a tipping point and head in the direction of true health care? As opposed to the current system of what basically boils down to disease maintenance? 2. In church this week I felt very guilty. No one is specifically asking me for nutrition advice but every week we hear about and pray for members of our congregation that have everything from kidney stones to cancer and everything in between. All of these conditions would be helped by a whole food plant based diet. I don't feel comfortable saying much about my diet at church but I feel very guilty about not speaking up if information that I have could help someone who is suffering. Do you have any recommendations? 3. I am a Clinical Psychology Doctoral candidate, and I will have my first patients this Fall. I am nervous, excited, but mostly curious. What concepts and theories from EP have you found most useful in your clinical work? And what are the one or two things from EP that I can focus on to help better serve my patients? 4. Given that many core characteristics of personality are genetically determined, and that the evolutionary process of blind variation is bound to produce extremes, aren't there always bound to be some individuals in society who are likely to experience impulses to commit violent acts - with particularly horrific consequencies when gun laws allow comparatively easy access to lethal weapons?In the 'bottling up' episode you say that some people are bound to be 'shitheads' - so aren't there also always bound to be 'psychopaths' and no amount of moral education, religious observation or societal conservatism could ever eradicate the problem of mass killings?

In this episode, Dr. Howk and Dr. Lisle analyze the 2020 US Presidential Election between President Trump and former VP Joe Biden.

In this reply of episode 195, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss: On today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk will answer the following questions: 1. Imagine a 20-year-old male. Every day, he plays video games, eats Twinkies, drinks Mountain Dew, binge watches Netflix, mindlessly scrolls through Social Media, and watches . What are the long-term and short-term effects of all this supernormal stimuli? 2.I feel like I'm stuck in a diet mindset where my internal audience won't recognize any of my efforts unless I'm 100% compliant all of the time. Considering all the crap other people eat, I feel like I should be able to have one meal a week that's not 100% wfpb and still be fine and not feel all this guilt? 3. I understand your view on how to handle questions about "why do eat that way" etc however i am wondering about what to say when people say things like "Oh i really need to do something about my weight so i have just started eating low carb high fat". Or " i have diabetes so i can't eat pasta or potatoes." Lately my respone has been to smile and say nothing however i am left feeling frustrated that there is so much that i could contribute to the conversation but i just hold back. What is the best approach when people say or do things that either simple wrong or not the best solution, particularily when you care about the person and want to be helpful? 4. I am impressed with the data behind a whole foods plant based diet but felt this wasn't something I could stick with long term. I've read in the pleasure trap strategies for telling others to buzz off, but still didn't like the social implications of being a young male vegan. Long term concerns for being on this diet? Would you recommend it for anyone?

1.My husband and I are in our late 20s, no children, married less than 3 years. 6 months after our wedding, I became whole food plant based and an ethical vegan. I was already pretty healthy prior, but still lost 10 pounds and reversed some health conditions. My husband has a lot of health issues. He hasn't physically changed much since our wedding and has always had these health problems, but I looked past them because I love everything else about my husband. He's seen all the vegan documentaries and completely believes the science, but has no interest in eating healthier, being more active, or stop eating fast food daily. I love my husband and he supports my lifestyle, but I no longer find him attractive. I believe it's because I know that if he drastically changed his diet, he could reverse many of his health problems that turn me off. I know it's natural for couples to lose attraction towards each other over time, but what do you do when you're repulsed by your spouse? 2.I'm a single mother of a girl that is intelligent and highly emotional. Much like her biological father I see genetic resemblance of undersirable traits. I've recently been dating a man which I feel a strong connection with. He is a single father and has a very emotionally stable, agreeable 15 year old daughter. My new partner seems blown away by my daughters highs and lows and I feel blamed for her behavior on my lack of my discipline. I feel like her behavior has to do with her genetics but is that a cop out for possibly a lack of discipline? How do I explain to this mid to low openness mate I've found that knows nothing of EP that she is who she is and we are along for the ride if he can bare it. 3.Do the 5 traits have to do more with how we feel or how we act? So if someone often thinks that people are no good bastards and hates most of them but acts nicely most of the time, that makes them high A person?

In today's replay of Episode 192 we have the following questions: 1. What are Dr. Lisle's thoughts on group therapy? What is the purpose if there is one and how would he apply evolutionary principles and esteem dynamics to group therapy? 2. My MIL treats her 4 granddaughters quite differently. I am a disagreeable person who really values fairness. It's hard not to comment or approach her when she treats them so different. Let's not even begin to get into how many more clothes and toys (resources overall) she gets for her daughter's girls. Is there a way for her to look at my daughter differently and allocate resources fairly? 3. Recently you described the Enlightenment Trap, which interested me greatly and I wondered if you believed there was some degree to which meditation practice was a means of beating the genetic disposition for egoistic drives for status enhancement. Robert Wright certainly seems to think so. I recognise that there are apparently many examples of pseudo- meditators displaying their practice conspicuously as a status / virtue-signalling attempt, but do you believe there are some devotees who genuinely manage to reduce egoistic drives? 4. I am a professional woman in my middle years and want to be less critical of people and other things.

In today's new episode, Dr. Lisle discusses the following questions: 1) I was deeply fascinated by the Drs' take on narcissism and finally realized my mother is a narcissist. Many of my "friends" are also narcissists or suffer from tendencies. Is there a correlation between being raised by a narcissist and seeking those same traits in friends/partners? And what advice would you share for dealing with these people, short of running for the door? 2) I finished How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World earlier this year. What an amazing book that has radically changed my outlook on things. Since then I have tried to be much more intentional about honestly presenting myself and honestly going after relationships I see as high value. I have to admit that I have gotten a lot of negative feedback from romantic opportunities and family since updating my thinking. Does truly embracing your self/freedom come with growing pains and time or is just that being yourself is just a more lonely experience? Does any of this have to do with these beliefs being less sexually attractive than more convention beliefs around family, marriage, governments etc?

In this replay of Episode 191, Dr. Howk and Dr. Lisle answer the following questions: 1. What is impostor syndrome? Can you change the perception of feeling like a fraud? 2. A dad's son climbs on a roof to look at his neighbor's nude sunbathing. Dad handles it, but mom is furious and thinks this is huge issue warranting psychiatric medications. 3. A listener's boyfriend ended up at a stripclub with coworkers. He denies he got a lapdance even though everyone else got one. Listener wants to know if she is the one insecure and if a more confident woman wouldn't mind this happening. And also if this is 'normal behavior' for men and so she should expect it from any future partners. 4. Does having more wealth increase the trait of openness? 5. What does the future hold for humans capable or not capable of thriving in the modern environment in the face of so many traps?

In this new episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk answer these q's: 1. Voicemail question: Are there some situations where you avoid using the down arrow technique like when the worst case scenario is actually going to happen or already present? 2. Imagine that you are magically made Emperor of K-12 Education in the US. Essentially, you have complete, authoritarian control over the education system and can expect 100% compliance on your vision and mandates. How would you design the education system, and how does the big 5 and evo psych affect your design? 3. I want to make sure I understand beating your genes. If people are told no, punished, held back, negative reinforcement over and over again it will affect the genes. Is this a true statement.

In this replay of episode 188, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk, discuss the following questions: 1. My niece and I have been debating whether it's safe for attractive young solo female travelers to couch surf. She believes that a careful reading of a host's couch surfing profile enables her to spot would-be predators. What are your thoughts on this Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk? 2. Can you talk about what resilience is with regard to personality/the big 5? Do you think that it is possible to help people develop resilience or grit? 3. I dated a guy for about 5 years who would never commit and cheated on me several times, though I did not learn of his indiscretions until after the relationship ended. I recently found out that he married one of the women who he cheated on me with after dating her for only a brief time. After our split was all said and done I definitely felt like I came out it with the better end of the deal, and I'm now in a relationship that has major *magic 10%* potential; so my question is: why am I so irritated about my loser ex's quickie marriage? 4. I contracted Herpes from a long term boyfriend who was cheating on me about 10 years ago. I find it so difficult to share this information with a new person. I am 50 years old and reasonably attractive but haven't been dating from shame regarding this condition. You're straight talk suggestions are so helpful on this podcast, I'm wondering if you can advise me on how to best frame this situation for myself, my status, and potential mates.

1. I have been a proponent of wholesome eating as the guarantee of good health and optimal weight. The approach has worked great for me, but I am still curious to know if eating high caloric density foods – but within strict daily caloric "budget" – is detrimental to one's health? I have no cravings or addictions of any sort, it is almost an "academic" question mostly concerning socially inflicted foods like BBQ, wine, cheese, etc. 2. My girlfriend often slips into baby talk — and it grates on my nerves, but I don't know how to stop it. Any suggestions? 3. I'm wondering, why we're having so many beautiful women in Russia, but much less of handsome men. Is there any explanation? 4.Plomin states that the heritablity of weight is 70%. Is this statistic a byproduct of our modern food environment and therefore an explanation of the obesity problem? How would the heritability of weight differ in a stone-age environment? How would it differ if we measured a cohort from Chef AJ's group? That word heritability, is also confusing. Please explain. 5. Whats up with corporate jargon, like "Could you action this item?", buzz words like "synergy", being told to "think outside the box", needlessly fancy job titles and the like. I realize it's bound to be several things: conferring status cheaply, trying to motivate by conveying positivity, obfuscating to avoid concrete promises and cover asses, trying to sound smart and adjusting language use to match the in-group. Am I mistaken or missing anything? Where does this jargon come from -is it perpetuated by business schools or the fanciest companies? Am I penalizing myself significantly if I don't go along with all this BS?

1. If it is true that we can't change people, why would evolution waste energy engineer feelings in us that make us feel incline to try to change others? If we can't change others, why do people come to believe they can or enter relationships with others on that premise? 2. My brother has always been very private about his relationship with his significant other, to the point that it makes our family uncomfortable. She was a foreign exchange student when they met, failed to meet requirements for her work visa this spring, and my brother finally told us they got married this past May to keep her in the states. He also expressed as recently as one year ago he is not even sure he likes her, but does enjoy her attention and having company. I guess my question here is twofold; is it worth expressing concern to him about this being that's it's done? It was a particularly hard blow to my parents, who are practicing Catholics, and I don't see how he could fail to see the hurt it would cause them. Second... from a gene standpoint, why did he do this? 3. I have a 15 year old son who did poorly in school after it moved online last spring - eventually he stopped doing any of his work and lied to my husband and I about it. He is returning to a hybrid model in a couple of weeks, and I am already dreading the acrimony that will follow. My husband is our son's stepfather with no biological children of his own. In the past, there has been conflict between my husband and I about how to handle this - I think my husband is draconian and he thinks I'm too relaxed. How much freedom is appropriate to give kids when it comes to schoolwork? What about lying? Is there any way to protect my relationships with both my husband and my son through this? And finally, why do some step-parents (like my husband) get so invested in kids that will not be carrying their genes forward?

1. I am a 40-something male on the online/swipey app dating scene. I have had rotten luck and I am interested in whether turning off "read receipts" on WhatsApp is putting women off. I like the freedom that turning off "read receipts" gives me. At the same time I worry I am giving into my fears of rejection, possibly ego-trapping myself. Why does it feel empowering to turn off "read receipts" on WhatsApp and is this potentially putting off women who may think I have a hidden agenda? 2. I have found that my desire for sex has significantly declined. So, my question is: am I a freak of nature? Or is something else potentially going on that could be corrected? 3. I've been fixated on losing 7-10 more pounds for the last 2 years but the weight just does not come off. Is there something I could do to actually lose this weight? Or how can I convince my mind that this is it and just be happy about it? 4. I remember in high school being taught the concept of critical thinking skills. The more I enhance my knowledge of evolutionary psychology and see certain personality types on social media promote conspiracy theories, I believe teaching these concepts are limited. It appears critical thinking skills and questioning authenticity can be finessed for those with the personality type, but I no longer think it's a skill set that can be universally taught. Am I viewing this incorrectly as I come up-to-speed on EP? What other American school system skill sets cannot be universally taught due to our differences in personality types? 5. Why is it funny to us when we see animals doing silly things? 6. Why do people love to solo dance so much? 7. Why in the world would someone literally only want to be listened to?

In today's show, the Dr's answer these Q's: 1. Why do we root for under-dogs ? How do we get status from a group that contains perennial losers ? 2. My husband and I are both 30 and have been married 2 years. My husband really wants kids, but I'm nervous about his lazy habits when that day comes. My question is: will having kids force my husband to be more active? I'm worried he will still be a couch potato 10 years from now and won't be an active and engaged parent. 3. I've got a comment about episode 232 in which DDL says there is no unconditional love...while I agree with his response, it made me wonder why I would have feelings of unconditional love toward my dog who does not share my genes... 4. . I am curious if these leanings politically are inherent at the genetic level and what is the mechanism behind it? Is it just where we all far along the bell curves of our personality characteristic that make us all come to such different conclusions in spite of all being in the same environment? 5. On personality tests, I come out as high disagreeable. However, I absolutely cannot stand confrontation and have my whole life been a bit of a people pleaser. I grew up with narcissistic parents in an emotionally-volatile household where I took it upon myself to be the child that diffused tension and provided some comic relief. Did my upbringing disturb my genetic disagreeable streak? I am a conundrum unto myself. Please unravel me.

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle updates us on his thinking about the COVID-19 pandemic and current events surrounding lockdowns, death rates, and the future. Two questions are answered and they are: 1. Question about war - I am fascinated about how humans can band together in tribes and kill eachother. They also will battle eachother while having hospitals right there to treat the wounded. I can understand fighting over resources but these days it seems to be more over ideologies than that. Do you have any evolutionary insight into this? Couldn't this potentially be detrimental to gene and species survival? 2. Why we are more inclined to have High Expectations even when they make us fall into Ego Trap while we don't like to have Lower Expectations even if they help us. Is this due to social-cultural messaging or upbringing? Or something else is the cause?

1. I feel like I am in the process of losing my best friend. She has been trying to leave an emotionally abusive/narcissistic relationship with a much older man for a while. Of her own admission she has "no future" with this guy. Whenever I try to have this conversation with her, she freezes up and goes silent on me for weeks until she messages again with a complete change of topic. What would you do, doctors, if you were in my position? 2. I have a question regarding alien abductions. If mental illness is not to account for the feeling of being abducted by aliens, what are the doctor's takes on this strange phenomenon? 3. I've been struggling with mood swings/PMS my whole life now, however, they've gotten worse over the past few months since I seem to let out my frustration on my partner now. I'd really appreciate some tips on how to get along with my significant other during this special time and get some advice on how to not obsess over one's emotions. 4. What is the deal with anger management? I guess I'm in a situation where I feel very angry (and confident that I'm right) but it feels awful. Is time the only way to get over it? 5. I was glad to see Jordan Peterson is doing so much better after recovering from his physical dependency on benzodiazapines. I think many people were surprised he turned to benzos, given his knowledge as an Evolutionary Psychologist. Would you be able to explain what makes people desperate enough to seek anti-anxiety drugs and what could be done from an Evolutionary Psychology point of view instead to reduce stress and anxiety and avoid resorting to medication?

1. My 19 year old daughter confided in me that she and her friend joined a sugar baby website and has met an older man. I am her birthmother. We are in an "open adoption arrangement" I am 38, so younger than her mom and someone she confides in. No other adults know about this. Is this normal developmentally and I should just let it play out, or is this out of bounds, and I may need to intervene more assertively? 2. Is there any way to spot people on extreme ends of the bell curve by their appearance? Perhaps it has to do with sensitivity and some people could have an intuitive way of recognizing red flag characteristics, whether in physical structure/form or expression? Is there any validity or basis to this? An evolutionary explanation? 3. I keep noticing current references to "unconditional love." Some in "spiritual circles, some in philosophy, some in the news. People supposedly suddenly want new pets for the unconditional love they are missing in isolation. Taking Ketamine or psilocybin supposedly gives the subject a reference experience of Unconditional Love, so then they can go on to cultivate that perception and achieve a new state of consciousness. Etc. I have looked for a long time, and I have not yet found any "loving" (bonding, service, caring, sharing, etc.) without some kind of conditions behind it. And wouldn't loving-looking behavior be determined by the big 5, and not be altered by a transcendent experience? What does EP say about it? 4.Anyways, my husband and family members joke that I have an irrational fear of homelessness and logically I know it's unlikely that I will ever be homeless, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about it on a weekly basis. How does someone become homeless? And if in some imaginary reality you were charged with decreasing or eliminating homelessness by any means necessary, what would you do?

Today's questions: 1. I'm interested in the post-Corona calibration process many of us are likely going through or about to go through. I'd be interested to hear how this unique level of isolation we've all experienced leads to decalibration and then the process of recalibrating again. I am just now starting to "get back out there" and I get the sense that my nervous system is desperate for calibration while at the same time guarded against any potential bad news. What do you think, doctors? 2. I'm curious why it seems so many of us are programmed to want to push our kids to achieve if the long-term influence falls flat. 3. I am struggling to realize the last chapter of How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, where the author describes freedom from wanting to control others. I have a 29 year old brother who still lives with my mother. He was working before the pandemic, but is currently unemployed. He has made thousands of dollars a month but pays her nothing. He says she doesn't care and he is wanted. She says she doesn't mind other. In the past I have argued about why this relationship is bad for them both. I'm having a hard time why this situation makes me so angry, when really it is none of my business. I would love to "be free" of my concern, but it feels deeply concerning that from what I see my brother is exploiting my mother to avoid life and she is enabling him because she doesn't want to live alone. 4. When women write "family-oriented" on a dating profile is this code for "looking for man who will invest all of his resources into me and our potential children" and also "I'm vetting your current relationship with your mother as proof!"

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk start with a dating question and branch off to discuss the Repeat Exposure Effect along with a song performed by one of our listeners, Warren Tews (https://youtu.be/T7_BjA_M74A), the discussion turns towards "All about the Eggs" as Dr. Lisle describes the male mating strategy of "trying to get to the female's eggs" and the confusion (from the female) that can result from that. Included in the discussion is online dating strategies for women for pair bond success. Question: Dear Beat Your Genes team, From what I am hearing, as a female 10, I have practically no chance of ever pair-bonding with an objective male 10 (my equal). The best I can do is settle for a 9 with more/better resources than me (subjective 10), which can only be achieved via repeat exposure, correct? Needless to say, online dating is a nightmare, but offline I have not met/seen a man, who would make me feel overrewarded (or even remotely attracted) in more than 5 years (latest divorce). To aggravate the problem, I am also a sapiosexual. Any insights into how I can overcome this challenge are welcome. P.S. Dr. Howk is a hoot and makes a fantastic addition to the team. Can't wait to hear her laugh at my question.

In today's show, the Dr's discuss these questions: 1. Ive been following Geoffory Millers twitter during the past couple months and noticed that his worldview is trending to become a little more conservative and traditionalist in light of the unprecedented level of social conflict we are experiencing. This is something that resonates with me. Once I began to understand the principles of Evolutionary Psychology, I began to see the hidden wisdom in tradition. I notice that Dr. Lisle does not seem to place much value on traditional behaviours and I always thought this was curious. Can you ask him to speak to this? 2. What is the best way to deal with sadness of grief? Are there some basic things to do? Specifically, my mother died. She was old. It was time. I am still very sad and it has hit me harder than I expected. 3. Why is everyone so divided in today's climate? All the protests. Upset over wearing a mask. Politics. Media hype. I'm having a hard time just being me, being pressured to choose sides.

1. I have come to some confusion reconciling the Selfish Gene's central ideas and Plomin's description of genetics. The confusion though comes from trying to understand how the notion of self selective pressures at the individual gene level would be possible when so many traits of the phenotype are the result of the interaction of several genes within the genome. How can individual genes "compete" when each individual gene is reliant on how it "correlates(?)" with the rest of the genome. 2. Whenever I don't orgasm during sex, I feel guilty. This may be because I fake the orgasm. I am not sure whether this is my internal audience censuring me or whether I am simply empathising for my guileless husband. Or, maybe, something else. Why can't I be honest about my inorgasmia? I don't always have a problem orgasming but around half the time I fake it. It's not fun. What say you? 3. What would you recommend for a stay at home Mom who has two small children and is constrained by time and energy to pursue her individual goals? I am experiencing low mood on a regular basis and don't want to turn to medication. Overall, I don't have a strong sense of self-efficacy and feel like my best way forward is accepting my situation and letting go of personal goals for the foreseeable future. My husband and I are not in a financial position to use money as a way to provide child care or outsource other tasks. I wonder if I am going through a recalibration process of lowering my goals and expectations, which is the source of my low mood. Am I constrained by time and energy to not feel good until my children are more autonomous? 4. Why of why do many of us seek entertainment over sleep even though we're really tired? How could our minds possibly be so convinced that this is a worthwhile thing?

In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses: 1. I know you propose that personality is 100% genetically driven. But Dr. McDougall has shown that genes can be turned on and off by diet, and that even the DNA of twins may diverge over time if each twin is raised separately on different diets. Might the same thing be true of the genes behind our personalities? That certain genes could be switched on or off by environmental impacts. And if so, wouldn't that mean that nurture (along with nature) does in fact affect personality? 2. Though parents don't shape their children's personalities, that time at home can leave all sorts of lasting outcomes including anything along the spectrum of wonderful to terrible memories, respectful relationships or bitterness and resentment toward one another, great financial inheritance or debt, and generally, the set of examples and information made available or limited for the child can heavily influence their life choices and performance. After can't a child and emerging adult only work with the ideas they have available to them, and can't they get set into certain ruts of ideologies and perspectives including their religious beliefs? 3. I am sold on your lucid explanations of how behavioral genetics shapes personality. So doesn't if naturally follow that by going back in time to study differences between the ecological/ political /religious influences in different areas of the world throughout our history, that we can use these differences to speculate as to how these differences have shaped personality in different areas of the world. The question is, can you identify or speculate on historical factors that may explain statistical differences in personality between different peoples.

Q's 1. I'm a hyperconscientious nutcase but I don't relate at all to Dr Lisle's statement that HCNCs are more likely to be over the top with wearing masks, washing hands, etc.. I find myself getting so irritated with other people's compliance that I now make sarcastic comments in public whenever I see people wearing masks or dutifully standing on crosses in supermarket queues. What is happening to me? Is this situational disagreeableness, or is there another explanation? 2. Dr Lisle has spoken in the past about how the way to bring people over to a whole-foods plant-based way of life is to evince humility in the way you present the benefits ("seems to be working for me"). How do esteem dynamics operate between a perceived exemplars and their spectators? Is posturing like a Pyrrhonian sceptic the most effective way to get people to listen to (and follow) your example? 3. Do you have any advice on the gentlest way to break up with someone? I entered into a secret, long distance relationship with another woman close to seven years ago when I was 23 and she was 30. We both haven't told our families about our relationship because we are related - we are cousins-once-removed and our families are very close. 4. I am a 30 year old male and I honestly don't feel a very strong connection to my family. I grew up in a fairly toxic environment of alcoholism and the whole experience has left me jaded toward the mainstream view of family. I have a very sweet girlfriend, but I recently told her I was hesitant about the idea of marriage because it seems like too big of a risk and not essential to have a meaningful relationship with someone. Her response to this and the feelings about family has been to suggest I go to therapy to deal with my childhood issues. How do I tell her that would be a waste of time?

In today's show, the doctors discuss: 1. Looking at a list of the foods with the most AGEs in them (fried or high temperature cooked high-protein/fat/sugar foods), it almost seems as if humans can in fact taste AGEs specifically. Why should the products of cooked fats and protein, especially in combination with each other and sugar, taste so much better to humans than those same products mildly cooked or uncooked. 2.I understand that adopting a WFPB diet is a way of "beating our genes" that haven't caught up to our hyper-stimulated modern environment. If we were to continue forward without adopting the diet, wouldn't our genes eventually catch up? 3. I teach WFPB nutrition to women in recovery. The program teaches self-esteem based on the work of Nathaniel Branden and they have merged this approach with nutrition. There are always some women who are completely closed to the concepts, but I focus on those who are curious. My question is around the self-esteem content and the best way to integrate the two topics. How to support their development of self-esteem given their history of addiction? How do the doctors feel about Dr. Branden's work, if they have any suggestions for supporting women in recovery, and thoughts about how to best integrate the topics 4. I'm highly conscientious, fairly introverted, open and agreeable, but a bit unstable. In my short life I've been a metalhead drummer, a skateboarder, have studied classical piano and physics and am now a doctor. Unfortunately, I have now been finding it increasingly difficult to relate to the people around me, and I have been floundering in social situations. I don't have a relaxed, easy-going attitude and can't fake it either. What advice do you have for improving my social situation? I know Dr. Lisle recommends fishing where the fish are, but I'm struggling to find my fish.

In today's show, Dr. Lisle briefly discusses the current events in the USA and then discusses these q's: 1. I come from a family of low lifes, junkies, and drug addicts. I was able to be the first in my family to get a college degree of any kind and would like to pursue a Phd. I am willing to believe this might be reaching on my part and I might fail, but it seems worthwhile to try. If I were to look at my genetics it makes me think I'm doomed to become a drug addict who accomplishes nothing. Wouldn't it be more useful to have a growth mindset about your abilities and let the environment tell you where you are reaching out of your league. If I'm being honest the genetics perspective just makes me feel very hopeless, where my lived experience does not. How can I more usefully incorporate this perspective to help fuel achievement, rather than a fixed mindset of my own abilities as determined by genetics? 2. I'm noticing that despite the evidence that is widely available, people who should not be personally overly fearful of the coronavirus are in fact quite fearful. You have discussed many possible reasons for this, including a reason for opting out of competition and the like, but I'm curious if what we're seeing is nervous systems intentionally generating personal levels of fear in order to obtain/maintain status. 3. I am wondering what advice you have for people that may have inherited a lot of money, or won the lottery. How can this affect the self-esteem mechanism and what's the best way to handle the money to achieve happiness?

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss the following: 1. How does withdrawal and Tolerance In drug usage compare to eating foods with addictive properties in terms of trying to quit? For instance, Would planning a strict day and time for a specific portioned unhealthy meal once a week then after get straight back on the wagon aid in keeping tolerance low and cravings at bay? or is complete abstinence the key to lifelong success in ending the addiction? I've been trying for about 3 years to be WFPB but I've never made it more than 30 days and when I cave into crap foods each time it's making me doubt I could achieve this success. 2. It seems so far that calorie restriction might not offer the degree of increased longevity benefits for humans as is found in mice and other animals. If you took an evolutionary perspective on this, what might you guess could explain why humans don't get quite the boost that other animals do? Do you think humans and perhaps some other animals have physiology that might expect to go hungry fairly often, so it's required for a normal lifespan rather than causing an abnormally longer one? 3. I recently celebrated my 30th birthday during this time, as fun and different as it was, the classic questions have now come to my mind about dating/settling down. I am single, and have not been on a date in 2 years! I know my chances are decreasing by the year of "finding a mate", and I am worried that males will be able to tell I am not as young as is ideal. Is there any way of avoiding this/giving off the illusions/impression that I still have value on the market as much as a twenty something? 4. Is following your lust just another pleasure trap that will leave you dissatisfied long term? Should a person who is not pair bond oriented try to work towards this for long term happiness or is this like trying to change your personality?

In today's show, Dr. Lisle gives our audience an update and some reflection about the coronavirus pandemic. In true fashion, what was intended to be a few minutes of finalizing the coronavirus stats discussion followed by listener questions, ended up being an entire show about coronavirus stats & updates. Next show, we resume listener questions.

In today's show, Dr. Lisle & Howk discuss these questions: 1. Do you see any big long term changes coming as a result of the shut down and isolation that will last more than a few months? Will this cause any long term evolutionary pressures for habit change or will we revert back to the same norms? 2.I'm disagreeable and fairly low conscientious and don't respond well to authority. If I get told to do something I don't want to do, it just makes me not want to do it even more. During the pandemic, how can I stop getting annoyed and getting into arguments with people and other jobsworths making pointless and unreasonable demands beyond the legal requirements of social distancing? Sometimes it feels like some people are in a competition to be seen as doing the pandemic better than others and love to point out all the faults, real or imagined, of others. 3. I am a hyper-conscientious nut case as Dr. Lisle would say. I've been running tech startups for over 25 years but my latest one has really burned me out. My life and my office are in disarray. I'm normally a very organized person but now I have piles of things everywhere and I can't seem to dig myself out. I can't get motivated. The only thing I'm very conscientious about now is my diet and exercise. Is there a way to kick start my natural tendencies and get organized again.?What do you suggest for recovering from burn out? How long will it take to recover? 4. How do you help someone to get the right help? A colleague of mine recently opened up to me about struggling with what seems to be a deep depression and suicidal thoughts. Of course anything I say is only a drop in the ocean. Knowing what I now know, this is really frustrating to me. How can you help someone get the right help? What advice do I best give to someone who I know is on the wrong track?

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss the following questions: 1. HELP! Am I going to lose friends over the virus? Most of my friends are overwhelmed with fear and are just bossing everyone around. Seems like if I don't agree w/ their demands (i.e. wear a mask, even when outside and 6 feet apart) or if I don't show as much fear as they do, I get the strong impression that it could have a negative and permanent impact on the friendship. I've had to lie to my close friends and I don't like being put in that position. I honestly am starting to feel harassed. How can I manage this? 2. My issue is on conflict. In my situation I always want to run away from conflict and get away as fast as I can. I would like to know how I can stop feeling this way and just deal with the conflict without going into a downward spiral. 3. Does the fear that has gripped the US qualify as clinical mass hysteria or since it has been driven by poor health statistics and media reporting is it justifiable? 4. Hi there, very interested to hear about some of the theory around self-esteem; it resonated very strongly with me in the current situation as I definitely struggle without "meaningful" work. I was wondering if you would be able to develop on this and perhaps, the role of status in an anxious mind.

In today's show, Dr. Howk and Nate discuss life during lockdown. Dr. Howk comments on those struggling to accomplish a particular task because the lockdown has disrupted their normal routine whether it's escaping the pleasure trap or other such tough task. We also discuss the psychology behind finding yourself delaying action on something important due to the disruptive effects of COVID-19.

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss new data that has been released in the last week indicating an even more favorable direction.

In today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk clarify some of the data & math behind the coronavirus pandemic currently dominating government policy and news discussions.

On today's show, the Dr's discuss the ongoing coronavirus situation with some pointed questions regarding lockdown loneliness, the economy, libertarian angst during a pandemic, and the different responses of different countries as it pertains to personality differences.

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk wanted to make a video podcast so the audio has been uploaded here but you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x40WWoUpeds

In today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk continue the coronavirus pandemic discussion. Dr. Lisle is a former professor of statistics at Stanford University and he has analyzed the data on the coronavirus data coming out of the worldometers.info website. He shares his insight and interpretation with us. Dr. Howk's recent articles, "When Bad News is Good News" and 'Of Pandemics and Personaity" are also the topic of discussion in this show.

In today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss the coronavirus pandemic and what to consider when hearing news of this outbreak.

In today's show, the Dr's discuss the following questions: 1. Would you still recommend psychology as a career? I am interested in becoming a therapist, and your podcast has turned what I thought I knew on it's head and has completely changed the way I would want to go about my theoretical orientation. But now that it's so different, I feel like I am doubting everything. Could you talk a little about what it's like to be in the position of the therapist? I am looking for information to direct my behavioral output. 2. How do I overcome fear? I have a friend who is brave and courageous! I would so like to accomplish those qualities, but whether it comes to sky diving, public speaking, or taking other risks im super scared and it takes so much for me to make the leap? How can I make the leap easier and become more courageous when I know that's what I really want? any tricks/shortcuts/technique or game changing information regarding this? 3. I am a female in my 50s now, and all of my life when someone is mad or upset with me, for any reason and no matter who has the 'right' to be upset, I cannot live with it. I perseverate on it and I cannot shake things until things are resolved and even after sometimes I do not find a release. I am surprised that at this point in my life I cannot shake this. For example, at work I made a mistake and I am working to fix the error, but I am ashamed and even though I am moving forward with efforts to fix the problem and grow from it, I cannot rest for weeks. What is this heavy and stressful feeling trying to tell me?

On today's show, the Dr's answer these questions: 1. How does neuroticism interact with IQ? We've all been in situations where a reasonable point of view is met by a barrage of irritable insults. Are people whose emotions play such a major role able to reason in an abstract and measured way, or does high neuroticism knock off the equivalent of 10 or 20 IQ points? Has this ever been studied? 2. What are the uses and limits of trying to create habits? For example, I often try to establish patterns of doing the dishes before bed, going to bed early, showering early during the day, cleaning regularly and the like, but it inevitably falls apart like someone coming off a diet. In what areas are/situations is it worth bothering, and how do I keep of track? How do I alter the CB amd make my conscious priorities into my nervous system's priorities too? 3. My husband had an affair last year, but we are slowly working through things ourselves and taking steps to save our marriage for our children. 1. How can I get over the feelings of inadequacy I have in my marriage post-affair? It's been almost a year since I found out and I still bring it up in arguments. At times I use it as my trump card and win our arguments as he feels bad every time I bring it up. Yet I can't bring myself to stop doing it. 2. How can I let go of the jealousy and resentment towards his affair partner? They are still in contact and remain friends. I find myself checking her social media accounts and obsessing over her, and I want to stop.

In today's show, Dr. Howk discusses the following questions: 1. I belong to a professional organization that has been working to root out genuine problems with racism, albeit in fits and starts. But lately it feels as though the tone has devolved from one of problem-solving to grievance-seeking and grievance-magnification. The communications have been hijacked by highly disagreeable and/or highly neurotic individuals, plus those who are gaining status as lead torchbearer. A few have said they'd rather destroy the organization than be part of one which hasn't achieved their goals for diversity, even if said organization was doing good advocacy work for others. Is there any coming back from this? All pleas for mutual respect and professionalism are decried as tone-policing and their originators as enablers and bigots. Anything I can do besides keep my tongue tucked and eyes on my own work? Thank you for your thoughts! I'm grateful to this podcast for giving some psychological distance from the ongoing shit show. 2. Dr. Lisle has mentioned the concept of "internal ugliness" a couple of times in previous shows. How does one go about identifying their own internal ugliness, and then mitigating or correcting it?

In today's show, Dr. Lisle answers the following questions: 1. Are some people more susceptible to addiction than others? If so, why are some people more susceptible to addiction than others? 2. In my husbands family, several members are bullies. Even my husband will join the bully pack if there is any indication they might turn on him. I am highly agreeable and conscience and find I am often the target of their bullying. What is the best 'tactic' to use with adult bullies in families? 3. What attracts people to others from different ethnic backgrounds to themselves? I wish was drawn to women with dark features as there are so many more of these women in the world. 4. People get physically less attractive as they age. They also become less fertile to the point of being infertile. What happens when looks and the prospect of sex are no longer appealing due to age related decline? How does evolutionary psychology explain attraction at this point in life and beyond?

On today's show, Dr. Lisle goes over these questions: 1.I have a brother-in-law who is mildly successful, makes decent money. he thinks he's the most intelligent and successful person. He constantly finds ways to brag about how well off he is and how he is just better than everyone. How does one deal with a person like this? 2. I would like to understand this epidemic of anxiety that is happening these days. What is happening? I have 5 adult children and they are all thriving, successful, socially contributing adults ranging from 20 - 37. 4 of our children and 1 daughter in law are all suffering from high levels of anxiety. 2 of them are taking medication for it. I have taught meditation for several years now and I see it in the classrooms with children even as young as kindegarten. They suffer with being able to fall asleep and have trouble 'letting go' and just relaxing. Their anxieties are different among them. The girls seem to get anxious about general life situations and the boys are more anxious about every ache and pain in their bodies being some sign of a horrible disease. I'm so confused as to what's going on in this world that so many people have anxiety and how as a parent can I help them. 3. If mild depression is an uncomfortable feeling that prompts us to evaluate our behavior, in some cases, which would be a positive move to make if we need to make adjustments, how would a more serious form - including suicide - be evolutionarily beneficial? Is this a helpful response gone awry due to more than tolerable social conditions? Do you think we have more depression today than in previous decades, centuries, or civilizations?

In today's episode, we go over these questions: 1. I understand from evolutionary psychology that certain market distortions, like a large number of females in college, or a small number of males in elderly age affect the quality of partners we're willing to date. What I am not sure about is how this calibration changes subjective experience. Do people only change their behavior to attain a partner, or do they also feel more attracted to people of perhaps lesser gene quality? 2. When I was in my twenties, I used to go to bars and wait in line to get in during the winter. In Montreal, winters can be very cold but one would always see girls waiting in the cold with no proper clothing. These happened to be the sexiest girls. My buddy would be impressed with them, saying that they seemed to have a supernatural ability to beat the cold. My question is: do you think that exhibiting the capacity to sustain a noxious stimulus can be used as a gene quality signal? Do you think that smoking can also viewed in this way? It is obviously a pleasure trap, but smokers may want to send the signal: "Look how high quality my genes are, if I can get away with smoking with impunity" 3. I am an introverted married woman in my mid forties. I have a friend who is single and in her early 60s. She frequently asks me and a small covey of women (who all happen to have mates) to go out dancing, to dinner, etc. via group texts. As I refuse to go to nightclubs, I occasionally join them for dinners (maybe twice a year) but refuse to go to nightclubs. My question is, Does a woman increase her chances of finding a mate if she surrounds herself with other women? Is she attempting to create a lure of sorts? I don't want to continue to be uncooperative about assembling with the group if this is something that could potentially increase her chances at finding someone.

In today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk go over the following questions: 1. Depression often gets talked about as being a biological condition and that just like having a broken arm, treating depression with medication is similar to treating a broken bone with a splint. What is the opinion of Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk about treating depression with medication vs. taking an evolutionary approach to helping individuals improve the esteem dynamics in their life? The combination of medication and therapy is often viewed as the best treatment, but I don't think most therapies take the approach that Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk do. 2. I'm a male and I've noticed that in numerous relationships, if my girlfriend was mad, then she would just flat out ignore me. I don't understand this behavior as anger would usually lead me to talk through issues and try to resolve them, whereas they might just ignore my calls and messages for days at a time. This caused me tremendous stress ro the point of getting no sleep and significantly impaired life functioning. How do I deal with this situation? And is this a male/female difference in conflict resolution, or an esteem dynamic where I'm over rewarded? 3. Ive been living with my boyfriend for over 15 yrs. Been with him total of 25 yrs. Im a young 60, he is 57. Ready to fall off ur chair? We have never had intercourse. First 10 yrs we done sone other intimate things, but no more. He never pursues or initiates anything with me. I used to try, but tired of being rejected.;( I want to leave the relationship. But do not. I definitely need help, can u give me some insight & guidance.

In today's episode Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk answer the following questions: 1. My brother never does anything in moderation, for example if he starts working out, he'll organize his life around it, stop all social drinking and the like. Then he will eventually feel empty and complain he's burnt out. My question is, is he destined to live in this open-unstable roller-coaster ride, or can I give him some advice (perhaps Harry Browne style) that will help him find his place? 2. I've heard Dr. Howk talk about social media as a potential pleasure trap, and I was wondering if she could go into more depth on that. What are the circuits being hijacked? What advice would you give to a low-key social media addict?

In this episode, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk briefly discuss a recent article titled, "Harvard researchers help explain link between emotion and addictive substance use". https://www.hks.harvard.edu/faculty-research/policy-topics/health/report-sadness-triggers-addictive-behavior They discuss addiction, relapsing, channel factors, Dr. Howk shares a personal story, and we answer the following listener question: Most of the people I know use chemicals to manage their lives as least in some aspects: coffee to wake up, alcohol for social lubrication, SSRIs when feeling down, and beta blockers for anxiety, even Adderall or cocaine for productivity and charisma and so on. Even knowing what I know, it's hard to resist the feeling that I'm leaving some competitive advantage on the table by not partaking. I assume you would discourage the use of most if not all of these substances. It it because you think they are all net negative in the long run, or do you find the whole concept puts the cart before the horse by trying to mold emotions to fit the environment instead of working on the environment? Are there any exceptions?

In today's show, we'll get the Dr's take on a recent study "Surviving and Thriving: Fundamental Social Motives Provide Purpose in Life" published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin." https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0146167219883604 We'll also go over these questions: 1. Where do New Year's resolutions come from? Why start something Jan 1 vs. any other random day? 2. Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss the most common New Year's resolution: weight loss 3. What do the Dr's think about the work of Dr. John Sarno in curing chronic back pain using education of how the mind works as treatment? According to Dr. Sarno childhood abuse can lead to rage in the unconscious mind and brain triggers TMS or chronic pain to repress this internal rage and there have been hundreds of people who have cured their back ache after reading his book, Healing Back Pain

Today's questions are: 1. I've been married to a 90% disagreeable man for 42 years. Many times I've packed my bags but never followed through. I dream of being on my own, doing the little things in life without being questioned. As he has gotten older his drinking has become a problem. Every year finds me more depressed. How to know when to go? 2.why do men flirt? I am falling for a guy who is a huge flirt. I see him flirting with me and with other women, and he has a long distance, long term girlfriend who he is faithful to. Why does he flirt so much? Why am I falling for him even though I know he doesn't mean anything serious by flirting? 3. How do you deal with toxic and controlling parents who like to believe that they are doing RIGHT by continuing to control your life well into your adulthood ? Is it normal to feel that you have a hate relationship with your mother because of lack of support and love to you? As a daughter it feels awful to feel it this way but I can't get over the fact that having a distant and uncaring mother has driven me into agreeing to marry a person who is totally different to me in personality. Even to this date my mother still emotionally blackmails me to not get a divorce by using her health as a reason. You can divorce your spouse but how can you ever divorce your mother and get over it without feeling the guilt? 4. A friend of mine is having some troubles getting in touch with his friends regularly. He always thinks, if I (or anyone else) doesn't contact him first, I don't like him anymore. It seems to me like he is suffering from some kind of inferiority complex in that sense. How do you explain such a behavior in an evolutionary sense or to broaden my question, why do people suffer from inferiority complexes and how can they try to overcome such feelings?

Today's questions: 1. Is it true that there are parts of the mind that we don't have access to, like a "subconscious?" Put another way, is there any information in our mind that we cannot reach down and consider with our conscious thinking? Some neuroscientists talk about thoughts as if they are served up to our awareness. But it seems like we can "direct" our thoughts. But can we "access" all the information and ideas that are in the darker corners of our brain's file cabinets? 2. You mentioned in episode 2 that people can also get depressed about their personal survival, like in the case of discovering they have cancer, but you didn't elaborate on what purpose that might serve evolutionarily. People in the Stone age wouldn't have known they had terminal cancer, but they might have a good sense that a disease or wound was almost certainly going to fester and kill them... What are the genes telling this person to do and why? As a follow up, once a person can accept their impending death with certainty, should the depressive feelings decrease or end? Do people who embrace their mortality find relief and the ability to enjoy their remaining time relatively stress-free? 3. Why do human brains take so long to mature to competence? Yes we are born relatively early to accommodate the size of the head, but it's not a matter of a few more months. No other animal is so helpless for so many years. Are human brains slow to mature because they are so adaptable, so they hold off on forming synapses right away? Or is it because they simply have so many neurons to wire up in more complex ways compared to other animals, it truly takes that long? If the former, what is it about human intelligence that is so much slower to wire up if it's all hard-coded by the DNA anyway, and what advantage is there in postponing the ability to walk etc for so long?

We celebrate this milestone episode with some fun questions for Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk.