All Things Marriage with Dr. Chavonne

When a marriage experiences challenges, there are a set of predictable positions each person holds that create conflict, disconnection and dysfunction. In this episode I'm taking you inside a concept I first learned about from world-renown couple's therapist Terry Real and sharing with you 4 common relational positions that perpetuate marital issues.Knowing where you and your partner fall on each of these is incredibly important data to have in order to shift things in a more position direction.The positive changes you are wanting to see start with an awareness of exactly where you keep getting stuck, followed by concrete steps to break your cycles, and create new healthier patterns of interacting.As you listen to this episode, identify where you are, and where your partner falls.Then I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation call with me to learn more about the productive changes that can be made to move your marriage into one that is healthier, happier and more fulfilling.You can book your call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

Have you ever considered how giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt can actually benefit YOU?In this episode, I share with you the power concept of Benefit of the Doubt and talk you through why it will help you improve your marriage.If you find yourself assuming and expecting the worst, this podcast will give point you in a more productive direction to experience more of what you want.Also mentioned in this episode:Work with me directly! There are a variety of options available for how you can have my direct help to support you and your spouse in improving your communication, reconnecting, and feeling like a united team.Book a complimentary call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

One of the most important distinctions you need to be able to make in your marriage is what is healthy vs. what is unhealthy.So much unhappiness and conflict arises when one or both of you are operating from a relationally UNhealthy place.In our episode today I'm breaking down the most common unhealthy dynamics I see - both those that I would considered "marital neglect" and those that I would define as "marital aggress". When you clearly understand what is healthy and what is not, you are more able to see yourself, your marriage and your partner more clearly. You understand what's yours to own and work on, vs. the work that belongs to them.You also open the door to breaking some of the dysfunctional patterns you may have grown up with as a child.Also mentioned in this episode:New Masterclass: How to Create a Healthy, Happy Marriage that LASTS. Register for free here: https://drchavonne.com/hhm/Book a complimentary consultation call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

Does your spouse sometimes feel like an enemy to you? Do you struggle to get on the same page about simple things? Find yourself always feeling like you are on the defensive with them? Does it feel like they look for ways to make things harder to you to get along?If so, this episode will help you so much.I'm breaking down the concept of the Enemy Mindset and how it's taking a toll on you and your marriage.I also teach you a simple shift in your perspective to go from feeling like enemies to having more accurate and neutral thoughts about your spouse. This opens the door to you feeling better, and then ultimately having better interactions.This episode will offer you relief for the heaviness and hardness of your marriage right now.Also mentioned:You can also work with me directly in one of my coaching programs and learn how to create a happier, more peaceful experience with your partner. I offer couples and individual coaching programs that teach you the mindset, skills and tools to have better communication and rekindle your loving connection. To schedule your call, visit: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

This one is a vulnerable and personal podcast about my own parenting challenges as my daughter enters her tween years. In several conversations I've had, I noticed the striking parallels between different seasons of the parenting relationship and different seasons of the marital relationship.At the end of the day relationships are relationships are relationships.As I've processed my own shifting dynamics as a parent, there are so many relevant lessons, take aways and helpful approaches that will support you in our own shifting dynamics with your spouse. I walk you through a variety of valuable perspectives to help you navigate difficult moments with greater ease, and insight. I offer some specific tips and strategies you can use to keep yourself grounded and focused on the right things. I also help you understand some of your underlying fears and how to react differently to them.Grab a coffee and let's connect with each other on this important conversation.Mentioned in this Episode: If you're looking for help and support to improve how you and your spouse interact, and are ready to have an easier, more peaceful marriage, I invite you to book a private consultation with me where we will explore how my coaching program can give you the help and guidance you are looking for. BOOK YOUR CALL HERE

How do you lead yourself well in a challenging season of your marriage? What does it look like to still show up as your best, even when you are angry, hurt and upset? What are the standards you commit to holding yourself to, no matter what?In today's podcast episode, we are diving into the topic of self leadership - showing up, doing what's right, with kindness, love and respect. This concept is so important in order for you to create the experiences and positive changes that you want. Your ability to lead yourself well sets the tone for your marriage and can radically shift unhealthy patterns. Today, I build upon two previous conversations I've had on this topic (see my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@drchavonne) and you'll walk away with a deeper understanding of it's importance and some tangible next steps to create some positive momentum in the dynamics with your spouse. And if you're ready to create a marriage where it's easy to talk to each other and you feel seen, understood, and on the same page, I invite you to book a private consultation call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

In this episode of the podcast we are having a sensitive conversation about the topics of grief, compassion and radical acceptance.So many people struggle with what to do with their unmet expectations. The answer is to grieve.So many people struggle with regret and shame for past choices. The answer is to have compassion.So many people exhaust themselves trying to make their partner or marriage something different than what it is. The answer is to practice radical acceptance.I break down each of these concepts today and show you what they mean and can look like for you in your marriage.For more help and support moving things in a positive direction, I invite you to work with me privately in one of my coaching programs. To learn more and to book your complimentary consultation call, go to: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

We all have behaviors and actions we take that keep us from our goals. In marriage, there are likely things you have a habit of doing that keep you from experiencing the healthiest and happiest marriage possible. In this episode of the podcast I break down some of the most common "bad" habits I see couples engage in. Underneath any behavior that keeps you from your goal is an underlying need. We will be discussing how to go beyond "will power" and "discipline" to change the foundation of how you operate so that forming more desirable and helpful habits becomes easier.I walk you through a specific process for understanding "bad" behavior and leave you with a dose of inspiration to help you continue to do the work of creating positive shifts.Also mentioned on this episode:If you want to work with me inside of one of my coaching programs, I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation. There you can share exactly what you want to work on, and I'll offer the exact process and support I can offer to help get you there. Take the next step here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

In today's podcast, we are diving into the experience of being STUCK. So many people come to me feeling like they are not making the progress they want. And it's a long-term experience for them.If you have this same experience it's important to identify exactly where you are stuck. There are 4 specific categories of "stuckness" to consider. Once you have more information about where the bottle neck is for yourself, then you have the roadmap for making positive changes that move you forward.So whether you feel stuck with changes you want to make within yourself, confused about whether to stay in your marriage, or feel like you are at an impasse with your spouse on certain issues, this episode will give you the clarity you need to make progress.If you'd like to learn more about my coaching programs and how I can support you in getting "unstuck", book a complimentary consultation with me here:

Does your life feel like groundhog day, where you're just going through the motions day in and day out with little that brings you joy?Or maybe the troubles in your marriage weigh you down so much it's hard to find joy in the rest of your life.If so, this episode is for you. We are diving into the topic of how to create a more fulfilling life.No matter what circumstances you currently find yourself in, there is a perspective, way of thinking and being that can help you create more contentment and fulfillment.You don't need to wait for things to change, or your spouse to change in order for YOU to have a life that feels good to you.It just takes a commitment to following through on the process I outline for you in this episode.So grab your pen and journal and get ready to do things differently so that you can feel great about yourself and your life.Looking for some 1:1 support on creating your joy-filled and more fulfilling life? I have openings in my private coaching program. Your next step is to book a complimentary consultation call with me to get to know each other better and make sure it's a great fit.GO HERE to schedule your call: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

When you read the words, Giving Up within the context of marriage, one idea may come to mind - ending the marriage. But before a couple ever gets to that point, there are other decision points where the action is to give up.In this podcast episode I break down the 3 most common ways I see people give up - on trying, on the process of help, and the marriage itself. For each, I break down the mindset and circumstances that lead to giving up, and the specific questions you want to ask yourself to determine if giving up is the best option for you.Giving up is often a last resort because it feels like no other options are working or will work. This is something that should be explored fully with help and support and through a process that will give you clarity instead of keeping you stuck.If you are questioning if your marriage will work, and would like my help determining what to do next, I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

If you've ever wondered, what is marriage coaching, and exactly how does it work to improve a marriage, this episode is for you.I share my own personal notes for how I move my clients from conflict and disconnection, to productive conversations and emotional closeness again.There are 10 very specific, concrete skills, shifts, and approaches we take inside my couples coaching programs. As you listen to me describe each one, assess in your own marriage, how well you are doing in these areas.This IS the roadmap. There are no other steps needed to tangibly improve your marriage for good.You'll have a crystal clear picture of what you could expect from coaching, and 10 huge things that will be better in your own marriage.And to grab a spot to work with me now, schedule your initial consultation call with me here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

We live in a day and age where having a safety response plan is essential. I'm taking this idea and concept and applying it to your emotional and relational safety as well.In the podcast today we will be diving into the idea of a Trigger Response Plan - a set of steps you take when you are triggered that help you to process what's happening, understand what you need to feel better, and take the appropriate steps to resolve whatever has upset you.Having a process to handle your triggers in marriage, or any relationship will do 6 very specific things for you. I break down each one so that you can truly experience the positive benefits of planning ahead for how you will treat yourself and your spouse when intense issues come up.Also mentioned in this episode: My private coaching program will help give you a step-by-step process of responding to any trigger you face. I provide you with several tools and approaches for handling triggers, managing your emotions and communicating effectively with your spouse so that you can feel happy, and close as a couple more often.To learn more about how private coaching can help you, schedule a complimentary consultation call here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

Would you consider yourself a curious person? Do you approach conversations with a desire to learn, and with an open mind?This is a superpower skills to bring to your marriage.In this episode of the podcast, I share with you the difference being more curious can make in the communication with your spouse. If you find that your current discussions are filled with defensiveness and finger pointing, practicing more curiosity will create more understanding and vulnerable conversations.I break down 5 steps to take to become a more curious person, as soon as your next conversation.I'd love to know how this works for you, so please leave a comment and review!Also mentioned in this episode;If you are looking for professional support in your marriage right now, I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation call with me. We'll talk about the issues you are facing, and I'll map out a very specific plan and process we will use inside one of my coaching programs. Schedule your call here: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

Are you at a place where the attraction you feel towards your spouse has faded? You're not alone. This is a common issue so many people face.In this episode of the podcast, I am breaking down exactly why this happens. It may seem like your spouse's appearance or their way of being is the reason you can't feel excited and attracted to them. But it's more than that.Tune in to this episode to learn which of the 5 culprits of fading attraction are actually at play for you.And if you are a woman who would love to feel more attracted to her spouse, have more positive thoughts about him, and feel excited and happy to be together, I invite you to join me inside my intimate group coaching program, The Well Made Woman.There you'll get my direct support each week, and be surrounded by a community of other like-minded women who are working towards the same goals. You'll get to experience a safe, non-judgmental, and supportive environment to work through all those questions in your mind. You'll get effective guidance and strategies to help you get unstuck and feel like you are finally moving in the direction you WANT to go.Learn more, and join here: DrChavonne.com/wmw

Anger. It's an emotion so many of us feel. And when I speak to women who are trying to address their anger, it usually involves blaming others. As human beings we are wired to protect ourselves by NOT looking inside to find answers. It's easier to look at what other people are or are not doing.Yet, so often the REAL, CORE reason we feel anger in our lives has a lot to do with what I've defined as internal anger. The part of you that's angry at you.In this episode of the podcast I dive into this concept and topic and provide some very specific examples of what it looks like to operate with internal anger.When you can pinpoint the real and true source of your anger - you can actually shift it and then live a life that feels more authentic, at peace and enjoyable to you.Tune into this episode and uncover where you might be angry at yourself and what to do about it.Also mentioned in this episode: my new Well Made Woman Masterclass happening June 26th at 9pm EST. We will be diving into how to stop the cycle of self-sacrifice and instead start creating and implementing healthy boundaries in your life so you can be more at ease, relaxed and feel better.Details can be found here: https://drchavonne.com/wmwm/

I wanted to make SURE your heard about my new Masterclass on June 26th. It's the Well Made Woman Masterclass and we are diving deep into how to stop self-sacrifice and how to implement healthy boundaries in your relationships and/or marriage.If you find yourself feeling angry and resentful, and are ready to start taking better care of YOU, this is the masterclass that sets that in motion for you.Get all the details, plus register for free here: https://drchavonne.com/wmwm/This one hour will be an amazing gift and act of self love for yourself.I'll be showing you EXACTLY what to do so you can actually implement those boundaries, honor your needs and still maintain a loving connection with those you love.I look forward to seeing you there!

We live in a culture that would have us wear self-sacrifice like a badge of honor.When we speak highly of others, it is usually touting how giving they are, how much they do for others, how they seem to accomplish so much.Rarely do we hear accolades for how well a person took care of themselves, how they set healthy boundaries, how they prioritized their needs and goals.Yet it is the latter that is associated with a greater sense of well-being, fulfillment, and happier, healthier relationships.In today's episode, we're diving into the topic of self sacrifice - why we do it, the hidden benefits that keep us in this cycle, and 3 empowering questions that will radically change your perspective.Also mentioned in this episode:New Masterclass happening this month: Well Made Woman Masterclass: From Self Sacrifice to Healthy Boundaries CLICK HERE FOR DETAILSLooking for my personal help addressing these and other issues creating stress and overwhelm in your life or marriage? Book a complimentary consultation call with me here.

As human beings, we are naturally curious and our mind will always want to ask the questions why. You can ask the question why in a way that empowers you or disempowers you. In this podcast episode I am breaking down why it's so important to ask WHY, and sharing with you a process to help you use this question to motivate you to actually create what you want. This is a powerful tool to shift your mindset, and to help you uncover the internal motivation that will best drive you to create more of what you want in your marriage and in your life.And if you'd like more of my help to do this work effectively, I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation call with me by visiting my website: DrChavonne.com

When you experience challenges in your life or marriage it can be easy to become hyper-focused on what's going wrong. Your brain will naturally want to ruminate on how bad things are, how disappointed you are feeling, and how unhappy your situation is making you.However, the more you focus on what's going wrong, the more things go wrong. That's because your thoughts and beliefs direct your actions and responses. In this episode, I'm sharing the power of focusing on what you WANT as the way to create positive shifts. The simple process of The Pivot will help you experience more contentment, happiness and fulfillment. If you'd like to feel better and start having more positive experiences in your marriage and life overall, this podcast episode will give you the perspective and necessary steps to do that.And if you are ready to have me as your coach guiding you through this work week by week, I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation call with me by visiting my website: DrChavonne.com

One of the most important skills to develop toward the path of greater fulfillment in life is to be able to honor yourself. Honoring yourself is a beautiful act of self love. It's you standing for you.However, many people have the wrong idea of what this actually looks like.In this episode of the podcast, I break down the 3 mistakes I see happen, that create unnecessary conflict and disconnection in your marriage.I also leave you with 7 specific ways to honor yourself that are effective and come from a place of love and respect, which leads to healthier. happier relationships overall. Also mentioned in this episode: I am accepting new coaching clients. If you're interested in working with me privately or one of my group coaching programs, visit my website at: DrChavonne.com

As human beings we are wired to judge. The idea of judgment helps us determine what is right and true for ourselves. It helps us discriminate and decide upon values, courses of action, and preferences. Inherently, it's not a bad thing.But in marriage, judgment often shows up as making yourself right and the other person wrong. This leads to communication issues, disconnection and conflict.In this episode, I'm tackling the topic of judgment, why it happens in the first place, as well as 4 specific and tangible benefits of releasing your judgment of each other. I also walk you through 3 steps to take in order to be less judgmental in your marriage towards your spouse.If you are looking to feel better, enjoy the time you spend together, and ultimately create a happy, connected marriage, this episode is for you.Also mentioned: Learn more about the ways to work with me and how my coaching approach can help you address any issues you are currently facing: DrChavonne.com

Emotions can be a BIG deal in your marriage. Feeling angry, frustrated, sad or disappointed greatly influences the way you show up and interact with your spouse. Many times, my clients experience such intense emotions that it's hard to get out of them and take the loving actions that will created connection and forward progress.In this episode of the podcast, we dive into the experience of being "in your feelings" where you have an emotional block keeping you stuck in a state of conflict and disconnection.I share the most common examples I see, why couples and individuals get stuck, and the 3 most important mindset shifts to help you move forward and actually create the loving, healthy connection you deeply desire.Also mentioned in this episode:Interested in learning more about the ways to work with me directly? Visit: DrChavonne.com

One of the most common questions I get asked is "what do you do when your spouse doesn't see the problems in your marriage?" Today I'm answering that question in detail with exactly what will help you move forward to have a better experience in your marriage.Inside this episode you will understand WHY your spouse may have a blind spot, and how you can think about it in a way that leads to less frustration and disappointment, and actually helps you to connect with them and understand them better.You'll also receive practical guidance for what you can do to get started creating positive shifts on your own.At the end, you can expect your marriage to be better, or you will have the clarity you need to understand if your spouse is someone you can truly be happy with.Tune in for this very real and honest conversation.Also mentioned in this episode:Communication Styles Masterclass - if you missed this value-packed training that outlined the 4 most common unhealthy communication styles and the 3 most important characeriistics of healthy communication, you can catch the replay here: https://drchavonne.com/communicationstylesreplay/And if you want to have my direct help and support, walking you through the process shared in this podcast episode, I invite you to schedule a private consultation call with me where we will discuss options for how we can work together. Book your call here.

Do you and your spouse take a long time to recover from certain arguments?In this podcast episode I'm diving into the topic of prolonged arguments - those times where one or both of you stay upset and in a state of conflict longer than you'd like. There are 5 main reasons this happens and it's important you understand exactly WHAT is contributing to this dynamic in your own marriage. I also share with you the three most important approaches that will help you repair quickly and get on to enjoying each other and feeling connected again.Also mentioned in this episode: Communication Styles Masterclass happening May 1st at 9pm EST. Join me live to learn more about how your specific Communication Styles may be in conflict and leading to the arguments you have. Register here: https://drchavonne.com/communication-styles/

If you find yourself having conversations with your spouse that leave you feeling frustrated, unheard, and misunderstood, this podcast episode will shed important light on what's been going on.I'm diving into the most common examples of communication breakdowns I see in my coaching practice.Understanding EXACTLY where things veer off course will give your the necessary information to actually course correct and ultimately have more productive conversations that move you forward together on the same page as a couple.Also mentioned in this episode **NEW MASTERCLASS: COMMUNICATION STYLES**This takes what is covered in this episode and shows you the mindset, assumptions and drivers of the way you and your spouse are uniquely communicating with each other.If you want your communication to feel more easeful and effective, this is the masterclass that will show you what you need to pay more attention to. Get all the details and sign up for free here: https://drchavonne.com/communication-styles/

In marriage, there will be things that trigger you. Your spouse will say or do something, and you have an intense emotional reaction. Reacting to triggers immediately can lead to arguments and conflict that spirals out of control.When most people are triggered, their mind focused on all the things the OTHER person is doing wrong. But in this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing with you the benefits and opportunities for you to go INWARD when you are triggered. I offer you the specific reasons this approach will help you move forward more positively, and ultimately lead to greater growth and peace for you.And if you are looking for professional help and want to discuss working together in one of my coaching programs, please visit my website: DrChavonne.com

How do you deal with things when it's not what you want? From the small things like a wrong or delayed order, to bigger things like major disappointments in your marriage - the way you decide to handle situations matters.In this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing both simple reminders and choice points you always have when things are not unfolding the way you would like.This episode will help you assess how you are currently processing unmet expectations or frustrating circumstances and seasons in your life with a fresh and renewed perspective that can help you grow, feel better and more hopeful and move yourself forward in a more positive direction no matter what. Also mentioned in this episode: If you are looking for professional support in your life or marriage, I invite you to sign up for one of my private or group coaching programs. I work with couples and individuals. Learn more at DrChavonne.com

Being busy is one of the most common distractions we use to keep us from truly connecting with ourselves.We pack our days with too many things that are not important, stress us out, or cause us to stretch ourselves too thin.One of the major reasons couples struggle in their relationship is a function of how much overwhelm they experience - often at their own hands. There is a psychology behind being busy.And learning how to break the addiction to always being on the go will improve your life in so many ways.In this episode, I talk in depth about the value of doing less and lead you through a simple process to identify how you can give yourself more empty space in your life so that you can enjoy your life more. Also, if you are ready to discuss working together, visit my website to schedule a consultation call: DrChavonne.com and learn more about private coaching, The Marriage UpGrade or The Well Made Woman.

If you'd like to solve some of your conflict for good, it's important that your get to the underlying core issues - these are the deeper needs, desires, values and expectations that drive you both,Couples are in conflict because they are being driven by opposing core issues. When you understand this, and are clear about your specific underlying issues, the way you handle arguments, and disappointments changes dramatically.In this episode, I share a process to help you uncover your underlying core issues. The five steps presented will help you have more awareness and insight into what's happening for you both, so you can get to the heart of the matter rather than continuing to have conflict that keeps you going around in circles.Also mentioned in this episode:The Marriage UpGrade - my 6 month couples coaching program to help you and your spouse come together to solve your issues, get on the same page, and move your marriage in the direction you want. For more information, go to DrChavonne.com

How often do you practice gratitude? It's the one thing that will give you the perspective you need in order to feel better, solve your issues at a higher level, and move yourself forward in a more positive direction.In this episode of the podcast, I"m diving deep into the process of gratitude and how you can use it as a power tool in your life.Whether you're feeling blah, struggle with issues in your life or marriage, or just want to give your emotions a good boost, these principles for how to practice gratitude effectively will make a huge difference in your life.And to learn more about my coaching programs and how we can work together directly, visit my website: DrChavonne.com

If you want your marriage to improve, it requires an identity shift. Usually in both of you. You have to go from a couple in conflict, to a couple that sees themselves as a united team.In this episode of the podcast, I'm diving in to identity shifts. This episode airs on my actual birthday and I was reflecting on my identity this time last year, versus where I am this year. WOW. What a difference. Listen in as I share a simple process to create your own identity shifts and immediately step into more of what you want - not only in your marriage, but in every area of your life. Also mentioned in this episode, The Marriage UpGrade, my signature 6-month coaching program for Christian P.O.W.E.R. Couples. To learn more visit my website DrChavonne.com and click Marriage UpGrade.

How often are you thinking about and moving in the direction of what you want? Thinking about what you want is one of the most valuable uses of your time. When you focus on what you want, you give yourself the opportunity to create it. Your brain becomes more oriented to how it's possible vs. how it's not.In this podcast episode, we are diving into the 5 steps that help you tap into the goals and desires you have for your marriage so you can actually make them a reality.I also leave you with the most important daily habits that will help you create positive change faster and more effective than anything else.

Where were things in your marriage this time last year? Are they better, the same, or worse now? So many couples find themselves stuck dealing with the same thoughts, feelings and issues. In this episode of the podcast I talk through 4 questions you want to ask yourself to uncover and deeply understand why you are where you are.This is a deep and profound conversation to have with yourself, and asking these 4 questions will help you see what's been happening and also what's possible for you moving forward.I hope you walk away inspired and motivated to truly create the change you want to experience.

Pettiness in marriage. Even as adults, we can go there sometimes. It seems justified, but rarely leads to the type of communication and connection we truly want.In this episode I'm breaking down the mindset of petty behavior, so you can understand why this way of showing up can sometimes be so tempting.I also provide you with specific strategies to overcome any petty tendencies in your marriage and offer you the pathway to a more mature, vulnerable and healthy way of working through your issues.Also mentioned in this episode:Communication Masterclass Series - 5 full days of teaching and coaching to help you and your spouse stop arguing and communicate more easily. Sign up for this free Masterclass Series here: https://drchavonne.com/communication/

Whenever I am speaking on the topic of communication in your marriage, there are a series of questions that are commonly asked.This week on the podcast, I'm answering them for you.I dive into the following questions:What to do when your spouse is super defensive What to do when your spouse shuts down and refuses to talk about something How to stop being so angry when you bring things to your spouseWhat to do when your spouse is controlling your communication How to stop finger pointing (policing each other) How to de-escalate an argument Tune in now to get the answers you need.AND join me for my Communication Masterclass Series. This month, I'm hosting 5 Masterclasses all designed to help you and your spouse improve your communication. All the details and free registration can be found here: https://drchavonne.com/communication/ Replays are available if you cannot join us live!

Your communication is the FOUNDATION of your marriage. If you can't communicate effectively, you can't connect. And if you can't connect you have two people essentially living separate lives.In this episode, I have a special guest, and close coach friend, Julie Danielson join me for this co-podcast. Julie is a DIVORCE coach, yep you read that right. And the insight she shares about the communication breakdowns that were persistent issues in her clients previous marriages is enlightening. In this episode, she shares 3 specific issues in communication, that when they are more the norm than the exception, completely erode the health of the marriage.It is our hope that my sharing this information, you and your spouse can identify what might be breaking down in your own communication and get help NOW, before it's a crisis, or worse, before it's too late. Mentioned in this Episode:Get Over Divorce Podcast with Julie Danielson The Marriage UpGrade - my 6-month couples coaching program to help you break the patterns of communication that damage your marriage, and replace them with positive communication approaches that bring you closer together.

Today we are talking about challenges - specifically, when you commit to a certain set of actions for a defined period of time in order to achieve an important goal. Challenges can really support you in creating positive change in your life. And at this point in the year, you may have lost sight of a goal, or fallen out of the habits you are looking to change. This episode will give you the boost of motivation you need to get back on track.I'm sharing 3 different types ways to do a challenge, and why they work so well to help you uplevel the way you show up to achieve what you want.Marriage Challenges are an major component of my program, The Marriage UpGrade, and my clients are having massive success changing their patterns and becoming better partners to each other. Tune in now and follow along to create your own challenge. You'll be so proud of who you become and the ways your life and marriage get better.Also mentioned in this episode, The Marriage UpGrade is open for Pre-enrollment this week. This is my 6 month signature group coaching program for couples. If you are ready to stop arguing, recover quickly from conflict, and truly solve some of your long-standing issues for good, this is the program to help you. Learn more and sign up here: The Marriage UpGrade

One of the most commonly sited skills couples mention needing improvement in is LISTENING. They can recognize their mutual inability to truly listen to understand each other, and notice how often they are listening to PROVE their point. In this episode of the podcast, we are diving into why this happens, and the specific steps you can take to become a better listener in your marriage.When you both are practicing this work, you elevate your conversations and are able to be more productive and effective as a team. Making decisions becomes so much easier. Expressing yourself and having your needs heard and understood becomes the new way of being.I'm sharing with you the 5 most important steps to take so that you can increase your skill and have better communication in your marriage.Also mentioned in this episode:There are several ways I can support you in doing this work, having better communication, and improving the overall quality of your marriage. To learn about all your options for working with me directly, visit my website: drchavonne.com

We are tackling a tough topic today. What's normal? It's a question I get asked so often and while what's normal is in many ways subjective. However, in my conversations with many couples and individuals, there are some common things I see happening (or hear about happening) that are outside the normal range of what's healthy in a relationship.In this episode, I break down the 5 most common not normal vs. normal behaviors and ways of interacting. It is my hope that after listening, you have a better idea of things that can be improved, vs things that HAVE to improve in order for your marriage to be healthy, and ultimately thriving. Let me know what you take away and how this conversation helps you in getting the reality check you may need today.Also mentioned in this episode:The Fresh Start Challenge - my 5-day video training series to help you reset your marriage, make important shifts, and set your communication and connection in a much better direction. It's free. Learn more and sign up here: https://drchavonne.com/fresh-start-2024/Coaching with me - to learn about your options for private, individual, couple, and group coaching programs to help you feel better and create a better marriage, visit my website: drchavonne.com

One of the reasons couples have a hard time communicating is because they are not appropriately prepared for all the directions a conversation can go.Often people come to me wanting to know how to handle certain situations that have happened and not gone well.The key is to learn from what went wrong and to focus your energy on the most important aspects of creating a positive interaction.Being prepared for anything requires you spend some time on the front end making decisions for how you will show up, rather than reacting negatively and then having to spend MORE time in frustration or trying to repair a broken connection.In this podcast episode, I give you the process for how to be prepared for anything - any conversation, and any interaction with your partner.There is a mindset you must adopt in addition to practical steps to take.Tune in now to dive into both.Mentioned in this episode: If you are looking for help to apply any of the skills we discussed, and are ready to improve your marriage, I invite you to work with me directly in one of my individual, group, private, or couples coaching programs. To learn more, visit DrChavonne.com

Happy Happy New Year! This podcast episode is a great conversation to have with yourself if you have ANYTHING in your life or marriage you want to be different in 2024.In it, I break down the 5 things you want to consider and think about in order to bring about lasting positive change. I also share some of the things I am doing differently, and an important goal I have for my own life this year.The freshness of a new year brings so many possibilities for newness. Tune in now to set yourself up for success.Also mentioned in this episode:Ready For Change Workshop, happening January 2nd and 9pm EST. Join me for this hands-on workshop where I'll walk you through a step-by-step process to create positive changes in your life and/or marriage this year. It's free to join and you can register here: https://drchavonne.com/change/

It's that time of year! That interesting week between Christmas and the New Year.It's just quiet enough to reflect on what 2023 has been like, while also looking ahead to what you want in 2024.In this podcast episode, I give you the opportunity to assess for yourself, if you are truly ready for change.One of the reasons people find themselves stuck with the same issues year after year is because they embark on change in idea only. They have not truly determined that they are ready to take on all that making significant change requires.I also offer a process to get ready for change, and the 5 steps to actually making positive changes that last. Tune in now to see where you land.Also mentioned in this episode: Ready for Change Masterclass - my all new and very hands-on workshop where I walk you through a process to reflect on 2023 and set yourself up to have a year of positive and long-lasting changes. Learn more and register here: https://drchavonne.com/change/

Today we are continuing to connect the dots between your childhood and your marriage.Your formative years growing up in your family set the stage for so much about how you operate in relationships. This is the case for both you AND your spouse.Understanding why you each think, react, and operate in various ways is so important.When you can trace much of those things back to childhood, the issues you face become less personal. You have a perspective of greater understanding. That awareness and understanding opens the door to empowered CHOICE.Because no matter what you learned in childhood, you can UNLEARN is now as an adult seeking to live a happy, fulfilling life and marriage.In this episode, I break down 5 of the most important connections to make between your childhood upbringing and your marriage.Tune in to learn more about the awareness you need, and the shifts you can make now to chart a new and better pathway for yourself and your marriage overall.Also mentioned in this episode: There are several ways you can get my help and guidance to move yourself forward from any childhood experiences and learned ways of being that don't serve you now and how you want your life to be. To learn more about working with me as a couple, or as an individual woman, visit my website: DrChavonne.com

Your childhood plays such an important role in how you experience and show up in your marriage. Your relationship with your primary caretakers sets the stage and template for the expectations you have and how you become accustomed to feeling around others. More often than not, these early experiences become the patterns that you subconsciously replicate over and over again.In this episode, I'm breaking down why understanding your childhood and having clarity on your specific attachment style is SO important in understanding the current dynamics in your marriage. I briefly review what an attachment style is, and the 4 main attachment styles people typically fall into. I discuss 5 very specific reasons why you must you understand your attachment style if you want to see and create real change in how you experience your marriage.PLUS...I want to invite you to learn more and go deeper into not only uncovering your attachment style, but how to shift it so that you are more secure, confident and healthy in your marriage. I'm hosting a free pop-up Masterclass that's happening on Wednesday, December 13th at 9pm EST.The details and registration link can be found directly on my website: DrChavonne.comI look forward to seeing you there!

S E L F D O U B TThat twinge of, is this okay, or not?Am I asking for too much or not?Should I do this or not?It's a very common issue I see a lot of women struggle with. It's something I've processed deeply in my own life and have so much insight to share with you on this podcast.I break down the exact areas I see people (mostly us women) doubting themselves the most, as well as the factors that most contribute to experiences and periods of self doubt.This is an issue that robs you of valuable time enjoying your life, and learning as you grow and evolve. The good news is you don't ever have to stay stuck in self-doubt.I share with you a simple 3-step process to help you to always be able move yourself forward productively and confidently.Mentioned in this episode:Previous Podcasts:Episode 151: 10 Things You Must Know About YourselfEpisode 163: Self TrustEpisode 188: Having Your Own BackWell Made Woman Program - learn more about this 6 month group coaching program to help you live life more confidently and with intention and get clear on what you want and deserve in your marriage -> https://drchavonne.com/wmw/Well Made Woman Experience - my recent 3-day workshop to help you build a joy-filled life, shift any limited thinking, and take better care of your emotional health -> https://drchavonne.com/3dayworkshop/Marriage Coach Mondays - my free coaching call every Monday at 12noon EST. Simply dial 669-274-9890 and join to get any marriage related question answered.

Loneliness in marriage.It's not a topic that gets talked about very much. It's more common than you think.In this episode of the podcast I break down 8 different types of loneliness and and why they happen. It's important to narrow down to the specifics of your loneliness so you can start making positive progress more quickly.I also share with you 4 specific questions to start answering for yourself so that you can navigate any lonely seasons in your life and marriage with a greater sense of well-being.Also mentioned in this episode:The Well Made Woman Experience - a 3-day workshop for women where you are supported in reclaiming your sense of identity, thinking more highly of yourself, and receiving tools to support you emotionally. This free workshop helps you be well from the inside out. It's happening November 28-30. Register here: https://drchavonne.com/3dayworkshop/The Well Made Woman Program - an intimate 6-month group coaching program for ambitious women who are serious about their personal growth and emotional well-being. Enrollment is opening this week. Learn more and apply to join this program here: https://drchavonne.com/wmw/

Yes, you read that right! Just in time for the holidays, we are getting straight to it with people who get on your nerves. This episode is a GREAT listen for ANYONE who may encounter a friend, family member, or spouse who has a tendency to push ALLLLL your buttons.There's so much to learn from the people who trigger us. In this episode I am breaking down step-by-step exactly what you can do NOW to prepare yourself for more positive interactions and a greater sense of peace and calm when you spend time with people who are challenging for you - whether it's this week, or in the coming weeks of this holidays season.Go ahead and SAVE this episode now, because you will want to come back to it again and again. It's also a GREAT one to share with anyone in your life you know struggles to get along with certain people they encounter over the holidays, or any time of year.We are all human and it's ok if you have a hard time getting along with everyone.Tune into this episode to understand more about what's going on for you AND this other person so you can consciously show up in a way that represents who you want to be.Also mentioned in this episode:Marriage Coach Mondays: We've got a few of these free coaching calls left. Simple meet me on the line every Monday until December 18th at 12noon EST. Dial 669-274-9890Fight Free Holidays: This free, on-demand 3-part series will support you in having less conflict, and more enjoyment with your spouse this holiday season. Learn how to avoid unnecessary arguments, how to de-escalate tense conversations, and how to recover quickly if you do have an argument. Visit drchavonne.com to access this resource today. How to Work with Me Directly: There are 4 ways to work with me in my coaching practice. Private Couples Coaching, Private Coaching for Women, The Marriage UpGrade, and The Well Made Woman. Visit drchavonne.com to learn more about each one, and schedule a consultation call with me to get the help and support you are looking for.

In this episode, we are picking up our conversation about getting on the same page. In Part I, I shared the mindset necessary to open you and your spouse up to being able to apply the approach and strategies I share in this episode.Today, I'm sharing a 5-step process to help you have the conversation in a way that leaves you both feeling heard, respected, and valued for your opinions.It's important to remember that getting on the same page about certain topics (parenting, finances, work-life balance) isn't necessarily a one-and-done conversation. It may take a period of experimenting and trying new things to finally land on a solution that genuinely works for you both.Tune into this episode to hear more about the steps to take to get your process started in a more productive and effective way.Also mentioned in this episode: My practice is currently accepting new clients. If you would like my help and support getting on the same page, along with improving your communication overall, and becoming a close, connected couple again, I invite you to schedule a complimentary call with me by visiting my website: DrChavonne.comAnd if you are a woman looking for marriage support on your own, this is also work I can support and guide you in doing. Learn more about my life and marriage coaching for woman by CLICKING HERE.

One of the most common issues couples struggle with is getting on the same page about important topics (money, parenting, work/life balance, etc).The way to make massive progress in this area starts first with your mindset.There are a set of thoughts and beliefs that make communicating with each other more difficult, or easier - even when you don't initially agree.In this podcast episode I give you 5 specific mindset shifts to make in order to have better discussions when you are trying to get on the same page.Making these shifts in your perspective completely changes the way you both show up to a conversation and helps you to make progress much faster.If you have been stuck feeling on opposite sides of an issue, this episode will help bring you together. This is just Part I. I give you a homework exercise to help prepare you for next weeks Episode where I'll break down the more tactical steps to take when discussing hot button issues you don't agree on. Also mentioned in this episode: Marriage Coach Mondays is still happening. Join me for this free coaching call - conference style. Simply dial 669-274-9890 on Mondays at 12noon EST.