A Moment of Hope

Why do we act the way we act, and do the things we do? Here's the answer: first belief, then feelings, then behavior. The order is biblical. We act on what we believe. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind" (Romans 12:2). It is our mind - where our beliefs reside - that informs our feelings. Feelings then bring about our behavior. It's why we must first think differently before we will act differently. Too often we try to change our behavior by practicing feelings modification. It seldom works. We must get to the root of our feelings, which is what we put in our minds. The apostle Paul understood the power of one's thoughts. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8). As we are conformed to the image of Christ - which includes a mind with wholesome thought patterns - our feelings will follow suit (Romans 8:29). And then we will want to live as God wants us to live. Behave as he wants us to behave. Obeying his commands. Remind yourself daily to focus on things above (Colossians 3:2). When you do so, your beliefs are set. Feelings will follow. Then there will be the right behavior. And you will honor God with your heart, soul and mind.

If there was one mantra that my college basketball coach, Dean Smith, repeated over and over again, it is this: Play hard, play smart, and play together. Coach Smith believed playing these three ways - hard, smart, and together - was an absolute requisite for a winning team. Do you think Coach Smith knew he was developing his team using a biblical framework? He was. Hard work. "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men" (Colossians 3:23). Smart: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction" (Proverbs 9:10). Together: "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil" (Ecclesiastes 4:9). In your life, are you playing this "game of life" hard - giving your all? Playing smart - with God's wisdom? Together - with good teammates. Trust God's framework for your life. Hard. Smart. Together. If you do, it's the best way to win! From Coach Smith. But more importantly, from the One who created us all.

Isn't it wonderful when God supernaturally delivers us from hardship? Gives us a miracle of faith? A giant problem we've had suddenly disappears? Supernatural delivery - the painless way through a life's circumstance - may seem like the "best" or "easiest" way to deal with adversity. But I've discovered that most of the time, God wants us to go through the problem. The water. The fire. Not over it. Nor under or around. But through. It's what Isaiah 43:2 clearly teaches, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." Did you notice the "when" in this Scripture? Not if, when. As Christ followers, we are guaranteed trouble. It's part of the cost of following Christ: "In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33b). Yes, we will face adversity, but God has promised to be with us when we go through problems. And his grace is enough to help us get through them when they arise (2 Corinthians 12:9). Yes, we should thank God for supernatural miracles! We should also thank him for his grace in our storms to go through them.

Sexual purity requires self-discipline. Yesterday, we examined why sexual purity is so important to God. I shared with you one safeguard phrase Marilynn and I taught our children: Nothing below the neck. Here's another: Stay vertical. Nothing horizontal. In today's culture, many teens would laugh at the thought of staying vertical in dating relationships. It's evidence of the decaying and dark culture in which we live. Parents, we must teach our children that as Christ followers we are set apart from a hostile world (John 17:14). We are to believe and behave differently than those around us. We are to follow Christ, not culture. Consider these words the apostle Paul penned to Timothy, his young assistant in ministry, "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity" (1 Timothy 4:12). While some youth may not like it, it is God's truth, which is why we gave our children an added safeguard to preserve their sexual purity: Stay vertical. Nothing horizontal. Problems come when you lie down with someone. You are unguarded. Without much control. Stay vertical! It's a helpful boundary for sexual purity.

"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality" (1 Thessalonians 4:3). God desires sexual purity in his people. His commands for purity are found throughout his Word. What is sexual purity from Jesus and his Word? Sex only within the parameters of a relationship between a married man and woman. Why is sexual purity so important to God? Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit within us (1 Corinthians 6:19). Therefore, as followers of Christ, we are commanded to "put to death" immorality of all kinds, including sexual (Colossians 3:5). Parents, we must teach this biblical truth to our children. How? My wife and I came up with a safeguard phrase we ingrained in our children's minds. A rule to be able to follow God's expectation of sexual purity. Here it is: Nothing below the neck. Simple. Concise. They have never forgotten it. Yes, in our culture, this is not a popular message. But it's God's undeniable biblical design for human sexuality. And always remember: Followers of Jesus live to please him, not people. When dating, nothing below the neck! It's an important lesson for parents to teach to their children. And all of Jesus's disciples to follow.

You can almost hear the sound of someone drinking a slurpee. The classic, large drink many love to "slurp" down. In big, slushy gulps. With the last gulp bringing the loudest slurp! A slurpee is delicious as a drink. But it's disastrous in a marriage. What is a "slurpee" marriage? It's when one person in a marriage continues drinking from the other. Until the end, when the large "slurp" shows that the drink - in this case, the spouse - is empty. Done. Emotionally spent. Your spouse will never meet the deepest longings of your heart. No mortal being can. Not even your beloved husband or wife. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). Taking delight in the Lord means seeking our peace and fulfillment in him. And only in him. When we do so, our desires will begin aligning with his desires. And our deepest longings will be fulfilled by him. Not our spouses. Make Jesus your life (Colossians 3:4). He will meet the needs of your heart. Then you can enjoy your spouse the way God intended. To share all the days of your life. Together. Forever.

Whatever you fuel grows. Whatever you starve dies. With what are you fueling your mind? Thoughts of faith fuel God's peace. Think of faith as fertilizer, promoting the growth of peace in your heart. "The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7). Faith precedes peace. What's the polar opposite of peace? Fear. What fuels fear? Thoughts of unbelief. And unbelief precedes fear. Faith fuels life. Peace. Purpose. Unbelief fuels anxiety. Fear. And wandering. Let your mind be fixed on Jesus. Fill it with faith in him. And experience a peace that you've never known before.

It's a memory engraved on my brain from my college coach, Dean Smith. He said it regularly, sometimes even right before our games: Read your jersey. Coach Smith wanted us to consider the full meaning of what our jerseys displayed: the University of North Carolina. He was reminding us that when we played, we were representing every fan, former student, present student, and indeed the entire state. Therefore, we should play hard, smart, and together. Playing with a respect for the game - and our audience - that would make the university proud. Reflect positively on who we were representing. What does this mean for followers of Jesus? Answer this question: What would happen if Christians did the same? Reminded ourselves daily that we represent Jesus and his Kingdom with our words, attitudes, and behaviors? What if we wore a jersey every day that read "Christ-follower"? Would we be positively representing Jesus to those around us? We are not our own. We are alive now only because we were bought with a price through Jesus's death on the cross (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We live for him. His glory. Kingdom. Name. Followers of Jesus should live accordingly.

Today, I want to give you this simple but profound statement that we should remind ourselves of repeatedly. God is in control. Of everything. If one atom is outside his sovereign control, then every atom is outside his sovereign control. We must discipline ourselves to continually believe and speak this truth. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. God is in control. "No plan of God's can be thwarted" (Job 42:2). In the mountains. In the valleys. In my times of suffering. In my times of rejoicing. Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end of all (Revelation 1:8). God is in control. Trust him. Surrender all to him. Relax in him. Enjoy your day. Give him your stuff. Don't worry. Be happy! Like a child being held in his loving daddy's arms, so is God with you. Today and forever. God is in control.

Which do you think matters most? Ability or availability? To the world, ability matters most. But to a holy, sovereign God, it's availability that truly matters. There is a significant biblical example of this truth, found in the story of Samuel. As a young child, Samuel heard a voice repeatedly calling out to him. He asked Eli, his mentor, for guidance. Eli finally encouraged Samuel to open his heart and become available to God no matter the personal cost (1 Samuel 3:4). God then uses Samuel as Israel's greatest judge. We should all be like Samuel. It doesn't matter how gifted we may or may not be. Our call is simply to say to God, "I'm available." God can use anyone for his glory. God is not looking for ability, but for availability. Are you available to him today?

"I am a little pencil in God's hands. He does the thinking. He does the writing." Mother Theresa penned these insightful words. She considered herself a "little" pencil, yet God wrote a large and magnificent story through her life on earth. God's hand is writing the story for each of our lives. An individual story written solely for us. Using our specific, unique gifts given to us by God. The author and perfecter of our faith has marked a race just for you and me (Hebrews 12:1-2). It's our choice to run it according to his design. God wants to use our story not only for our benefit, but for others' benefit as well. As we persevere faithfully through our life's journey - with our eyes fixed on Jesus - God uses us more frequently and more powerfully to impact his Kingdom. But again, it's our choice to let God hold the pencil. What does God ask of us? That we be like Isaiah when he said these simple words to God, "Here I am, send me" (Isaiah 6:8). God can use anyone with this kind of attitude. He can and he will. We are all pencils in God's hands. Let him write your story. For God's glory.

Any dead fish can flow with the stream. Picture small ocean waves lapping onto the shore, or the slowly moving waters of a stream. Now remember a time when you've seen the lifeless bodies of dead fish, as well as other types of debris, simply going where the flow of the water takes them. They have no choice. No ability to fight for or determine their direction. But in today's society, that's what a lot of people do instead of confronting the evilness and selfishness of culture. They go with the flow. Unlike the dead fish, we do indeed have a choice. God gave us free will. We can choose to be salt and light as Jesus commanded (Matthew 5:13-16). But to do so demands conviction. Strength to swim against the stream. To do nothing leads to spiritual death. Resulting in lifelessness. With no convictions. The same condition Paul uses to describe people who are "dead in sin" and "who follow the ways of the world" because they have yet to meet Jesus (Ephesians 2:1-2). Be alive in Christ! Stand for him. Be strong and courageous for truth and righteousness. And swim against the streams of godlessness.

Are you hurting? Broken? Recovering from harm inflicted by another person? Only time in God's presence heals our wounds. Healing is something we wish would happen instantaneously. In a moment. A week. A month. A year. But that's not how healing happens - it takes time. Time during which you experience God's love, grace, mercy, kindness and compassion. It's the time we spend in the open arms of our loving, comforting Father - in his very presence - that he heals our hurting hearts. Our broken places. Our bleeding wounds. In Psalm 51, Nathan the prophet confronts King David about his adultery, murder and attempted cover-up - almost a year after David committed those sins. It was then that something finally broke in David. He realized the enormity of his sins. Finally, he ran straight into his Father's arms. It was there - in the very presence of the Lord - that David experienced God's healing grace and forgiveness. There and there alone is where healing happened. Do you know that the same grace that healed King David is available to you? It is. Run to God today. With all your sins, wounds, and brokenness. Only time in God's presence heals our wounds.

When you wake up in the morning, how do you feel about the day ahead? Is your first thought a negative, "Good Lord, it's morning!"? And you just want to stay in bed. Or, are you filled with excitement and anticipation expressed through a greeting, "Good morning, Lord!" And you're looking forward to the day ahead of you. Each day is a new day. A new opportunity to have a cheerful heart. Inwardly, we are being renewed day by day through the resurrection life of Jesus burning within us (2 Corinthians 4:16). Pause and think about that. You face a new day being a new person! "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23). If you love the Lord, every day should be a new start. A fresh beginning. Begin today with a "Good morning, Lord," not a "Good Lord, it's morning." "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24).

It's easy to leave your spouse. It's impossible to leave your best friend. Who is your BFF, your Best Friend Forever? If you're married, your BFF should be your spouse. Think back to when you were dating and couldn't wait to be together as a couple. Bring that eagerness back to your marriage. Commit to a weekly date night. Mark it on your calendar. Don't let anything interrupt it. Pray together. Worship together. God is Spirit - and when you develop the spiritual side of your relationship, you not only become one flesh (Genesis 2:24), but Jesus said no flesh and blood person can ever separate you (Matthew 19:10). Studies from secular universities show that couples who simply pray together bring the divorce rate down to one out of over 1,000. But mostly, become each other's best friend. Spend time together. Ask this important question to one another, "How is your heart?" Listen to the other's feelings. Share your deepest thoughts and longings. Grow so close that you actually start to become one person. BFFs. For it's easy to leave your spouse. It's impossible to leave your best friend.

"Put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water. Put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the seas." These lyrics from a 1970's pop song are wonderfully accurate for all times. Is your hand currently in the hand of "the man"? It's quite an image to picture, isn't it? Holding tightly to Jesus's hand - especially when our life's seas are rough and filled with fear. When we reach to Jesus, he will uphold us with his righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10). Teach us his ways. And when we stumble, we will not fall. (Psalm 37:24). We may try to let go of his hand, but he will never let go of ours (Hebrews 13:5). What a great and mighty promise! Put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water…and calmed the seas. Firmly in the grip of the Lord. You'll never walk alone nor be fearful again.

"Take better care of my basketball!" How often I'd hear Coach Smith say this to his team. He knew that we had only so many possessions in a game, so when we turned the ball over, we gave our opponent more opportunities to score. Which would usually result in a loss for us. Of course, it wasn't really Coach Smith's basketball. But he did control the game. Who would play. Who wouldn't. How many minutes of game time each player would have. Eventually, we all came to realize that the better we would take care of "his" basketball, the more playing time we'd get. And the better we would play as a team. I wonder how differently each of us would live our lives if we truly believed that we should take better care of God's "basketball?" His life that he gave us. His possessions he's loaned us to oversee and steward for our temporary years on earth. I think this world would function better. And we would feel no worry about facing our eternal Coach one day when he asks us about how we handled his "basketball." His world, and his gifts he gave us to use while here. "The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein" (Psalm 24:1). Let's all take better care of God's basketball. For his glory alone.

The best definition of character I've ever heard: Who you are when no one is looking. Character is too often influenced by people-pleasing. Schmoozing others to get something from them. Wanting public acclaim. An emphasis on the outside, not inside, of your life. Your words don't match your deeds. Who you are in private is real and what matters most. Who are you at home - really? Do you act the same with your family in private as you do when in public? What about when you're alone? What do you watch privately online, or on a TV screen? How do you spend your time when no one is looking? Here are two great biblical truths. One, "A good name is more desirable than great riches" (Proverbs 22:1). That good name begins in private, then bleeds over into who you are publicly. Two, God sees everything. Everything. You may think that in private the Lord doesn't see, but he does. "The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good" (Proverbs 15:3). Make sure you are faithful, especially when no one is looking. That is the best definition of your true character.

Whether you realize it or not, you are most likely a leader in some way or another. Leadership is simply influence. If you have influence over anyone - as a parent, co-worker, coach, manager, friend - then you are indeed a leader. As a leader, here's your job description: to serve others, not use others. And here's a question all leaders should be asking themselves daily: How am I serving the people I am leading? Consider the leadership style of Jesus, the Savior of the world. "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45). Jesus was a servant leader. He came to earth not to use others for his own gain, but instead to serve them. Why is this significant? Because in today's society, too many leaders use their followers for their own purposes. Self-aggrandizement. Self-promotion. Financial gain. That's why Jesus washed his disciples' feet. To show others the heart of a servant leader in action (John 13:1-13). When led by a servant leader, followers will do anything they can to help the leader succeed! Because they know how much the leader cares for them and wants to serve - not use - them.

As followers of Jesus, Christians need to have solid doctrinal beliefs. To know what is true in both doctrine and theology. But it's much more important to know personally the one in whom you believe: Jesus. No Christian ever was more doctrinally sound than the apostle Paul. But it was his personal relationship with Jesus that kept him going in the midst of persecution, imprisonment and pain. Facing imminent death, Paul penned these words: "For I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that day what has been entrusted to me" (2 Timothy 1:12). Do you know Jesus personally, your friend in whom you believe? Remember, it's the personal relationship you have with Jesus now that will carry you through this life and all its trials. And finally into heaven. It's not just what you believe that's important but knowing the One in whom you believe that matters most.

Have you ever had a friend or coworker who seems to make everything look easy, even though you know it's not? Here's what Coach Dean Smith had to say about such people, "Great players make the hard plays look easy, not the easy plays look hard." Sometimes we try to make life harder than it should be. We try to control things we were never meant to control. We look to our own strength to handle life's burdens instead of relying on the Lord. It's what Jesus meant when he said, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). If we claim to be Christ followers, then we should want - and choose - to live by God's rules. His regulations. His statutes. His principles. Not our own. When we do, life is easier. Burdens become lighter. And we just might hear our Head Coach in heaven say, "You're becoming a great player!"

Throughout the first chapter of the book of Romans, a multitude of sins are listed. They include: unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice, envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness, gossip, slander, pride and faithlessness (Romans 1:28-31). And there are many, many more. As human beings living in a fallen world, every single one of us can find ourselves committing a sin somewhere in that list. The fact is that our fallen flesh causes us to actively sin every day. Until the day we die. But did you know that sin can also be practiced when you don't act? Consider this Scripture, which Paul writes after he lists all the above-mentioned sins: "They not only (sin) but give approval to those who practice (sin)" (Romans 1:32). How do we "give approval" to sin? By remaining silent in the face of evil. Our silence heartily approves of evil. In fact, it condones it. Albert Einstein said it this way, "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything." Let us not be those people. May we always seek truth. Speak the truth. Do so in love. And always hate evil.

Has America become a nation who has forgotten how to blush? In the beginning of the book of Jeremiah, God repeatedly chastises the nation of Judah, warning about their flagrant sins and abominations. Their apathy toward obeying God's commands. Their calloused hearts (Jeremiah 2-6). Judah no longer felt ashamed of their sin. Didn't even attempt to hide it. Much less ask God's forgiveness. Indeed, they had become a nation who had forgotten how to blush (Jeremiah 6:15). Shame emerged as one of the first negative emotions felt by Adam and Even in the Garden of Eden. Shame was born from the Fall in Genesis 3. Adam and Eve attempted to use fig leaves to cover their sin. They weren't willing to admit it. Already, they had forgotten how to blush. We're all still wearing fig leaves today, aren't we? Feeling ashamed of our sins can be healthy - as long as it leads us to the cross, where Jesus took all of our shame and guilt upon himself. "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21). May we as a nation repent of our sin. Go before our loving Father and receive his grace anew. His mercies never end. And never be a nation that has forgotten how to blush.

Catastrophe. Calamity. Crisis. Although these words look like synonyms at first glance, crisis is actually very different. The word "crisis" comes from ancient Greek roots meaning decision. Opportunity. Turning point. Therefore, think of a crisis as a moment in which you get to decide to take a different direction. Many of us have crises occur throughout our lives. It's a matter of when - not if - they occur, for tribulations come to all, including followers of Jesus (John 16:33). So when the inevitable crisis occurs, what are we to do? First, you have a decision to make. Do you stay where you are? Or move in a different direction? Do you remain stuck? Or find another place to serve God? Use your crisis for positive gain! For careful examination. As an opportunity. To ensure your decisions are serving the Lord instead of man (Joshua 24:15). And if you are presently in a crisis, don't despair, but always remember the following truth. The crisis you are in could very well be God's opportunity for something much better.

The first look is free. You're responsible for the second one. This maxim came from my friend John Kasay and his wife, Laura. I once asked him, as an NFL kicker, what it was like to be on the sidelines with all the scantily clad cheerleaders dancing suggestively all around him. That's when he shared the quote from Laura with me. Laura told John that the first look is impossible to prevent. Temptations will come out of the blue, apparently from nowhere, but probably a demonically inspired temptation. We can't keep them from entering our minds. But the second look - that one, we are responsible for. How can we control the second look? Learn from Job: "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman" (Job 31:1 NIV). Our eyes are the window to our souls. We can't control thoughts coming to us. But we can control if we let them lodge there. The first look is free. The second is your responsibility.

Do you live to work, or work to live? God said work was good. As God created the earth and everything in it, he repeatedly called his work good (Genesis 1:4,10,12,18,21,25,31). He commanded Adam and Eve to dress, till, and keep the Garden. And their work was good. Work is a good gift from God. However, if we try to find our identity in our work - and spend an inordinate number of hours at our jobs - work is no longer good. It consumes us. Eventually it can kill us. When our work becomes an obsession, we deny ourselves - and our family and friends - meaningful time spent together. Think about it. No one has ever read a tombstone with the inscription, "I wish I'd spent more time in the office." Here's my point. Live your life now to the fullest! Enjoy every moment! Don't let work be your dominant reason for living. And when you are working, remember this: "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ" (Colossians 3:23-24).

Here's a tried-and-true parenting tip. The fewer the rules, the better! Why? Because the more rules you have, the more you need more rules to define the rules you've already made. Marilynn and I kept it simple and created two rules we expected our children to follow: 1) Don't disobey. 2) Don't dishonor. Obedience is fundamental. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1). Godly parents represent God's oversight of their children. Meaning, children must learn that as they obey their Godly parents, they are obeying God as well. It's the beginning of a life-long process of being God's servant - obeying his will above all else. We are in fact commanded to honor our father and mother (Exodus 20:12). Used here, the word "honor" means to lift up. Prize. Value. It's the only one of the 10 commandments that comes with a blessing. For the family and the nation itself. Obedience and honor. We would call out our kids on these two issues alone. Over time, they consistently obeyed and honored us. And now, as adults, our children obey and honor God. That's all my wife and I ever wanted as parents.

When dealing with questions about faith, can one ever delve deeply into matters of faith without doubt creeping in? Probably not. Here's what's true. When you doubt - and do nothing with that doubt except let it stir within - then, yes, it is indeed bad. Doubt will settle in your mind like a malignant tumor. Eventually, it will grow into unbelief. In fact James, Jesus's brother, tells us to not doubt. "For the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind" (James 1:6b). But here's what I've learned. Doubt can in fact be good - if it forces you to ask questions. Seek answers in your faith. Deepen your belief. And your walk with Jesus. When that happens, your faith increases and becomes more meaningful to you. Use doubt positively. Let it be the ants in the pants of your faith, driving you deeper into Jesus.

Have you ever heard the adage, "Practice makes perfect?" Many of us have. But it's not true. Here's what is correct: Perfect practice makes perfect! This quote came from my son's high school coach, Jerry Faulkner. Most people tend to say, "Practice makes perfect." That's true in one sense. But if your habits are wrongly and repeatedly practiced, then your results won't be perfect. The apostle Paul told fellow believers to imitate him as he imitated Jesus (1 Corinthians 11:1). Every day, Paul practiced the right habits of the heart. Thus, every day, he became more and more conformed to the image of Jesus (Romans 8:29) - God's goal for all of us. And then Paul asked his disciples to follow him, as he faithfully followed Jesus. How we choose to live our lives each day will - over the course of our lives - make us into who we are. So make sure you are practicing following Jesus! As perfectly as you know how. Then you will look and live like him - his desire for all his disciples.

Praise the behavior you want repeated. It's a great leadership principle I learned from my college basketball coach, Dean Smith. Coach wanted his players to play hard, smart, and together. That was his mantra for success. But he also knew that to get us to play consistently as he desired, he needed to notice and praise the behavior he wanted repeated. It's a great parenting principle too. The Bible tells children to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1). But surely there is more to it than just demanding kids obey what parents tell them. More than just, "Do this because I said so." Perhaps obedience should be preceded with constant and consistent praise of the behavior we want them to repeat. Preceding miraculous healing, Jesus praised others for their great faith (Matthew 8:10; 15:28). The Savior of the world praised others for the behavior he wanted repeated. I would imagine their faith only increased with hearing the Savior's praise. We as people and parents should learn this truth from Coach Smith. And Jesus.

Boy, have I learned this one through the years! It's easier to get in than out. It's far easier to make a thoughtful, carefully considered choice than to find ways later on to get out of a bad one. Over time, the bad choice often becomes an entangled mess. It's like untangling spaghetti! As Scripture says, "The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance" (Proverbs 21:5). Therefore, before making decisions, seek wise counsel. Ask the Lord to make the choice clear. Do your due diligence. If the choice surrounds a person, look for traits like humility and a servant's heart. Work ethic, integrity and honesty. These are often predictors of future success. Your time is far better spent making a wise decision upfront rather than working regrettably afterwards to correct a bad one. That's because it's always easier to get in than out.

Think about words like "hell" or "damn." They're spoken so often in our culture with little - if any - thought of the implications behind them. Their biblical roots. What they really mean. These words are startling and significant, yet they're often spoken thoughtlessly and casually. What's the lesson? Don't trivialize eternal realities. When we use severe words casually, we lessen their meaning. In fact, we are expressing doubt that these realities and destinations actually exist. We are trivializing eternal realities. And cutting the nerve cord of a passion for evangelism. Jesus came from heaven to earth - to seek and save the lost from hell (Luke 19:10). He taught us more about hell than heaven. It is very important to him. Also, Jesus taught us not to fear man, but to fear God who has the power to throw both body and soul into hell (Matthew 10:26-28). If you really believe this, might it change your choice of words? Jesus understood the seriousness of speaking about eternal destinations. As should we.

Coach Dean Smith won two national championships. He was an incredible man and leader. The many lessons I learned from him continue to impact my life today. Years ago, I was watching one of Coach Smith's national championship games. At a key point in the second half, Coach put in a reserve player for a superstar at a key moment in the game. I couldn't believe his decision. What was he doing? Until I remembered this quote, something he said repeatedly: A rested reserve is always better than a tired superstar. Coach Smith knew that as great a player as someone may be, if he's tired - he's tired! And can't perform to the best of his abilities. So Coach put in a rested reserve for a few minutes, and guess what happened? The superstar reentered the game refreshed - and led the team to victory. The Lord knows we need rest. He is our Shepherd. And sometimes he makes us lie down in green grass before still waters because he knows we need some time off. To rest (Psalm 23:1-2). And it would be much wiser for us to choose to rest than the Lord make us rest. We can't play life's game well if we are tired. God knows that. As should we.

Do you know what is going to happen in the next moment? Tomorrow? Weeks? Or years to come? Of course not. No one does. But here is a timeless truth that will always prevail: We don't know what the future holds, but we do know who holds the future. God is the Creator of all. He began the world (Genesis 1:1). And he will end the world (Revelation 1:8). Therefore, we put our trust in God. The mighty One. The sovereign One. The only One who sees all. Controls all. And knows all - including his plans for our lives, "plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11).

Three important words I've learned to live by: Life goes on. Think of your life as a river. It keeps going. Moving on and on and on. What happens if you throw a huge rock into it? First, there's a splash. Then ripples. And then nothing. The river continues to flow and move on. You may have had some tough and big rocks thrown into your life's river. Most all of us have. Those rocks likely caused a huge splash and many ripples that lasted for a while. But then, the river calmed and life moved on. Learn to flow with the river. Learn what you can from life's rocks. Learn valuable lessons. Then move on. My dad used to laughingly say that his favorite verse in the Bible was, "And it came to pass" (Genesis 4:3,8; 6:1, and many more). It's repeated over and over again throughout Scripture. Dad was right. Bad times pass. And life goes on!

When I was a college basketball player, I played in many games. But there was one game I'll never forget. I'd been playing poorly in a game and my coach, Dean Smith, took me out. When I reached the sidelines, I slammed my towel on the floor. Coach Smith quietly approached me, the game continuing. He knelt before me and asked, "Did you slam that towel on the floor because you were upset with me for taking you out of the game, or because you made some bad mistakes and didn't play well?" I responded with the latter - because I hadn't played well at all. That's when he said these words to me, "Never embarrass me publicly and I won't embarrass you publicly." It's a leadership and relationship lesson I've never forgotten. After that game, any questions or problems I had, I would go to Coach Smith and talk them out privately. Between coach and player. And I'd leave the office better informed and with our relationship still intact. It was a way I learned to honor my leader as we honored one another (Romans 12:10).

We all have big decisions to make in life, many of which will affect us for years to come. Once when I was going through such a decision, someone told me to practice the rule of the comma, "When in doubt, leave it out." It's what you are to do in writing - if you don't know if you should use a comma, you probably should not. It's a rule that applies to life as well. God's direction will eventually become clear to us. His will is that important to him. And if it's that important, he won't allow us to make a decision in a fog. He will give us clarity. "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord, more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning" (Psalm 130:5-6). So, if you are facing an important decision, wait on the Lord to reveal his will to you. Seek clarity. Doubt is not his will. It's like the shifting sands on the seashore (James 1:6). Practice the rule of the comma: When in doubt, leave the decision out. When and if it's God's will, it will become clear.

How do you feel when a coworker gets a promotion? Your neighbor's child earns a college scholarship? A good friend buys a beautiful beach house? Excited? Or jealous? My wise friend Coach Dean Smith said this about such situations, "Good people celebrate when good things happen to others." He was speaking to the danger of envy and jealousy. Two hidden diseases of the heart that force us to compare our insides with others' outsides. But when your heart is filled with good, God's goodness fills you (Psalm 136:1). And one of the ways you know your heart is filled with God's goodness is when you celebrate when good happens to another person. You cease comparing. You enjoy God's goodness to you. And to others as well.