10% Happier with Dan Harris

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It's hard not to like Lewis Howes. He's extremely open about his personal struggles, from childhood trauma to romantic challenges, from family drama to failure and self-doubt. Lewis is a voracious learner, relentless in his pursuit of his interests–and he'll bust his ass to get to the bottom of things in his own life. His main area of interest is what he calls greatness. He hosts a podcast, a very popular one, called The School of Greatness. He has spent many many years interviewing people who have excelled in all sorts of areas and has become a true student. Lewis now has a new book, called The Greatness Mindset, in which he shares what he's learned via all of these interviews and his own personal work. In this episode we talk about: The source of Lewis's interest in greatness The difference between a powerless mindset and a greatness mindset The pernicious impact of self-doubt How to counter your inner critic via a 'contract with yourself' How to face your fears The importance of mission and purpose Where selfishness fits into finding your mission and purpose And we have a friendly debate about the law of attraction Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lewis-howes-571

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- There's so much compelling research behind the notion of self compassion. Even though many of us think we need an internal cattle prod in order to retain our edge, research shows that people who have a supportive inner attitude — who have their own back — are more resilient and effective. Not to mention happier. And nicer. And yet, it is easy for skeptics to be turned off by some of the language and practices of self compassion. So today we brought in a guest who puts it in plain English, and is very funny. Carla Naumburg PhD is a clinical social worker, author, and mother. She has a lot to say about self compassion, and she does so in a way that skeptics will find appealing. One other note about Carla. A lot of her books are directed at parents, especially parents who are self critical. But this episode is aimed at everybody. We do talk a little bit about parenting at the end, but it's not the main focus. Just so you have it, her books have titles such as: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids and You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent. It's common for parents to think they suck. It's also common for humans to think we suck. That we are somehow terrible people. Sit back, relax, and let Carla disabuse you of that notion. In this episode we talk about: What Carla calls "shitty human syndrome" Asking ourselves, what do I need right now? How, for skeptics, the data on the effectiveness of compassion practices is a powerful incentive. The third arrow of denial and distraction The very human problem of not knowing how to deal with our feelings. Using "noticing, connection, curiosity, and kindness" as ways to get super clear about the practice of self-compassion Curiosity as the antidote to judgment How loving-kindness ties into the ability to treat ourselves with self-compassion. Kinder self-talk Practicing self-care by setting boundaries Single tasking as a strategy for decreasing stress And, using acronyms like SNAFU and KISS as a simple way to quickly access complicated thoughts Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language. There is a clean version over on the TPH app and website. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/carla-naumburg-570

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The human animal doesn't love paradox. We love a clear, simple story. Us versus them. Good versus evil. But life is rarely like that. This is especially true when it comes to wrestling with history. Our guest today calls it the patriot's dilemma. How do you love your country while also acknowledging the painful and horrifying stuff that has happened in the past? Dolly Chugh is a professor at the New York University Stern School of Business where she teaches MBA courses in leadership and management. This is her second time on the show. The last time she came on, she spoke about the concept of being "good-ish." One of the reasons we get defensive when people criticize us is that we feel like it's a threat to our precious notion of being a good person. But if you have a good-ish mindset, then there's always room to grow. Her new book, A More Just Future, encourages us to do that for America. Content Warning: This episode includes brief mentions of slavery and violence. In this episode, we talked about: Why Dolly was scared to write this book What the home team bias is and how it shows up when we think about our past What belief grief is The "long time ago illusion" And, what Dolly calls being a gritty patriot Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dolly-chugh-568

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Usually episodes of this show are organized around one big question, but today's guest, Jonathan Haidt, is just too interesting for one clear focus. In this episode, we dig into a ton of fascinating topics, including: why it can make you happier to see your own irrationality and hypocrisy, the value of interacting with ideas you do not like, how to navigate social media sanely, how to get ahead at work (and stay happy in the process), the upside of striving, the wisdom of the Stoics, and more. Jonathan Haidt is a renowned social psychologist from New York University's Stern school of business and the author of many books, including: The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom, The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion, and The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting Up a Generation for Failure. Since 2018, he's been studying the contributions of social media to the decline of teen mental health and the rise of political dysfunction. One other note: heads up that this conversation includes mentions of self-harm and suicide. In this episode we talk about: Haidt's elephant and rider metaphor that explains how our minds' operate How to use different techniques from hypnosis to Buddhist and Stoic practices to tame our unconscious Why we've evolved to be hypocrites and how admitting our flaws can help us come out ahead Buddhism as a counterpoint to our success oriented culture The deleterious effects of social media on democracy and young people's mental health Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-haidt-567

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Very often, when somebody pisses us off, our first instinct might be to plan some sort of revenge even if we rarely, if ever, actually follow through with it. Obviously, the trait of revenge seeking is counterproductive and it happens to also feel terrible. All the great wisdom traditions tell us that we should be forgiving instead and this isn't just some sort of finger wagging from the morality police; it's just straight up good advice. It's in your best interest not to be coiled up inside endless revenge fantasies. Of course, this is all easier said than done. Today, though, our guest, sujatha baliga, both says it, and does it. She has an extraordinary story: she was horribly abused by a family member, and then, after an encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, learned how to forgive the seemingly unforgivable. What's more, she now helps other people do that. Perhaps, starting now, even you. sujatha baliga is a long time Buddhist practitioner and internationally recognized leader in the field of restorative justice. She was named a 2019 MacArthur Fellow and is working on her first book. Content Warning: This episode includes multiple references to violent and traumatic experiences, including homicide and incest. In this episode we talk about: Her personal story, including her early experience with sexual assault within her family Her life-changing encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, and her experience with learning to forgive with the help of meditation Her experience working in the criminal justice system Her definition of restorative justice, why she believes we need it, and the three key questions it asks in each case Whether there is evidence that restorative justice works The limits of restorative justice What happens if someone who is the victim of a crime does want traditional punishment or even revenge How you can apply what she's learned in her life — including her time in the field of restorative justice — to our own lives And a specific meditation practice that can help you do it Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sujatha-baliga-565

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Meditation and mindfulness doesn't uproot your capacity to be judgmental, but it can help you see the value in being judgmental by learning how to work with the judging mind. La Sarmiento has been practicing Vipassana meditation since 1998. La is a mentor for the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, a teacher with Cloud Sangha, and a contributor to the Ten Percent Happier app. In this episode we talk about: How mindfulness can help us identify when we're being judgmental The difference between discernment and judgment How it can be so delicious to be judgmental of others – but why it's actually harmful to ourselves and others The four questions to ask when we notice ourselves going into judgment mode How to operationalize the phrase "am I suffering right now?" Investigating the motivations behind striving for success Why owning up to being a jerk is sometimes the exact right answer Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/la-sarmiento-564

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- This is the last episode in our four-part series where we're counter-programming against the way Valentine's Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family. Today we're probing a mystery: Why, from an evolutionary standpoint do we take heartbreak and rejection so hard? It can send the body and mind into a vicious spiral. As one genomics researcher has said, "heartbreak is one of the hidden landmines of human existence." There are countless pieces of art dedicated to heartbreak. Songs, movies, poems, the list is pretty much endless. But what does science say? Why does this happen to us? How exactly does the body react to a bad break up, from a romantic partnership, or a friendship or even a job? And what can we do to get over it? These are the questions the writer, Florence Williams decided to tackle after her own 25 year marriage fell apart. And the answers are fascinating. Florence Williams is a science journalist and author, and a contributing editor at Outside Magazine. Her latest book is called, Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey. It is just out in paperback, and has been nominated for the PEN/Wilson Award for Literary Science Writing. In this episode we talk about: The passage of time as a way to heal all wounds The role purpose plays in recovery William's three part heartbreak recovery toolkit (calming down, connecting to other people and finding purpose) The connection between openness and resilience How to become more open to a lack of closure The good and bad news about heartbreak And, rejecting some of the conventional approaches to heartbreak Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/florence-williams-562

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how. Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends. This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair. In this episode we talk about: Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called "displacement theory" The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing) How to reframe social rejection The importance of generosity How to handle conflict with your friends The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships When to walk away from a relationship How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines How to deal with social anxiety And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- If you're part of a family, you've probably experienced some level of drama. Maybe it's minor annoyances, like an uncle who chews too loudly. Maybe it's divorce, sibling rivalry, or abuse. There are lots of flavors in this noxious cornucopia. Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed clinical social worker and the author of the new book Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships. She's here to talk about how to handle family drama of all types. This is episode two of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair. Content Warning: There are some brief mentions of rape and incest in this conversation. We also talk about substance abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic abuse. In this episode we talk about: Nedra's own experiences with family dysfunction The terms boundary issues, enmeshment, and codependency The uncomfortable realization that you might be (at least part of) the problem The limits of compassion What to remember if you choose to spend time with a family member with whom you have a difficult relationship Why you should not "un-become" yourself just to fit in with your family Why shaming people doesn't make them better–and what does The temptation of receding into a victim mentality, and how to avoid it When to end a relationship What the term "toxic forgiveness" means Some of the myths about forgiveness And her remedies for various family drama scenarios, including: How do you get your mom to see a therapist? Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/nedra-glover-tawwab-559

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- This episode is part one of our four-part series where we're counter-programming against the way Valentine's Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family. Today's guest hews a bit more closely to the traditional Valentine's Day theme and will do some myth-busting around all the things we tend to get wrong when we talk about romantic relationships. Myisha Battle is the author of the book, "This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between." She also hosts the podcasts Down for Whatever, and Dating White. Much of her public work focuses on the early stages of relationships, but in her private practice, she counsels people at all stages, and in all kinds of relationships. Content Warning: Explicit language and conversations about sex. In this episode we talk about: Five ways to improve intimacy and connection in romantic partnership The nuts and bolts of sex, and how we often get intimacy and sex confused in unhelpful ways Understanding men's and women's cycles to depersonalize issues in sex and relationships The myth of finding "the one" The orgasm gap Bromance And if you're looking, tips on how to make finding a partner easier Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/myisha-battle-558

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- So many people are interested in their family tree. What kind of lives did our ancestors lead and what do their stories say about us? Today's guest, Spring Washam, asks us to reckon with the people who have come before us in order to fully understand who we are and why we do the things we do. Washam is a well-known teacher, author, and visionary leader based in Oakland, California. She is the author of A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage and Wisdom in Any Moment and her newest book, The Spirit of Harriet Tubman: Awakening from the Underground. Spring is considered a pioneer in bringing mindfulness-based meditation practices to diverse communities. She is one of the founding teachers at the East Bay Meditation Center, located in downtown Oakland, CA and has practiced and studied Buddhist philosophy in both the Theravada and Tibetan schools of Buddhism since 1999. In this episode we talk about: How Spring came to write about Harriet Tubman's life Her work with plant medicine and the shamanic traditions The dream and the "conversations" Spring had with Tubman Why we are all so interested in ancestry How we can deepen our relationship with our ancestors Family Constellation Therapy as a modality for doing ancestry work Spring's own family history Why she is still processing the experience of writing her book about Harriet Tubman What she means by the "inner underground railroad" and how it is alive today And, how, in the inner underground railroad, freedom equates to nirvana Content Warning: mentions of suicide Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/spring-washam-556

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- There may be a temptation in some circles to dismiss intuition as witchy, folkloric, or unscientific but there's actually a ton of science around this. Our guest, author, actress and director, Amber Tamblyn will guide us through this. Tamblyn argues that intuition is a trainable skill but that this south-of-the-neck intelligence is often obscured by being too stuck in our heads and out of touch with our bodies. Tamblyn has been nominated for Emmy®, Golden Globe, and Independent Spirit Awards. Her work in television spans over two decades including starring roles on House M.D., and Two and a Half Men. On the big screen, she starred in movies such as The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and 127 Hours. She's written seven books, including her latest, which is called Listening in the Dark: Women Reclaiming the Power of Intuition. In this episode we talk about: How she defines intuition, and the role it plays as a bridge between the conscious and unconscious parts of our minds Why we are conditioned to validate rational intelligence over intuitive intelligence The gut/brain connection, and why the enteric nervous system is known as the "second brain" Practical tips for getting better at listening to our bodies The role of meditation in boosting intuition The scientific research that points towards the importance of having a relationship with nature, and how this can improve our intuition The relationship between intuition and creativity How we should think about dream life What to do when you're not sure whether you should trust your gut How to recognize the difference between anxiety and intuition And why our society has downplayed the importance of intuition, which has been a tool used against women and men Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/amber-tamblyn-555

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today's episode is the first in an experimental new series called Meditation Party. Dan takes listener calls with fellow meditators Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren and get candid about their practices and dealing with life Sebene Selassie is based in Brooklyn and describes herself as a "writer, teacher, and immigrant-weirdo." She teaches meditation on the Ten Percent Happier app and is the author of a great book called, You Belong. Jeff Warren is based in Toronto and is also a writer and meditation teacher who co-wrote the book, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics with Dan Harris. Jeff also hosts the Consciousness Explorers podcast. Call (508) 656-0540 to have your question answered during the Meditation Party! Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sebene-selassie-jeff-warren-553

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The better you understand your brain – and the more effectively you can work with it – the happier and healthier you will be. This is the central contention of today's extraordinary guest, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor and she makes this assertion based on two levels of deep expertise. First, Dr. Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist. Second, back in the '90s, she experienced a severe hemorrhage in the left hemisphere of her brain causing her to lose the ability to walk, talk, read, write or recall any of her life. She later recovered, but that experience, which you will hear her describe in riveting detail, gave her incredible insight into how the brain works. She wrote a massive best-selling book called, My Stroke of Insight, which she has now followed up with a book called, Whole Brain Living, where she lays out exactly how to understand your brain and how to work with it. In this episode we talk about: Dr. Taylor's personal story and how her life has changed post-stroke The marvels of the human brain The differences between the brain's two hemispheres How our society is skewed towards the left hemisphere and how living too much in the left hemisphere can burn us out The brain's "four characters" and how to work with these characters through a practice she calls "The Brain Huddle" The differences and similarities between "The Brain Huddle" and another practice we've talked about before on this show called, "RAIN" And she describes a tool for understanding your emotions called, "The 90-Second Rule" Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jill-bolte-taylor-552

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It can be difficult to grasp how much power of persuasion we actually have, or how to wield it wisely. In today's episode we look at science-based strategies for observing the effect we have on others, and how to better deal with our fear of rejection, and asking for favors. Vanessa Bohns is a social psychologist and a professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University. She is the author of You Have More Influence Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Power of Persuasion, and Why it Matters. In this episode we talk about: How much we often underestimate our own influence Why it's so hard to say no Why people are paying attention to us more than we think The impact of asking for things in-person The responsibility that comes with being in a position of power What it means to experience your own influence And how we can be more aware of the influence we have Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/vanessa-bohns-550

We're sharing a preview of another podcast we love, The Happiness Lab. On The Happiness Lab, Dr. Laurie Santos explores all the ways we get our happiness wrong and what we can to do really feel better. She walks through the latest evidence-based strategies for improving your mental health, sharing practical advice on what will really bring more joy. In her latest New Year season of The Happiness Lab, Laurie tackles how to listen to the inner voice of what we really need in the new year. We're often looking into the future... hunting for the "next big thing." We can get so fixated with these events and the happiness we hope they'll deliver, that we forget to look for joy right now. Actor and author Tony Hale (Veep, The Mysterious Benedict Society, Arrested Development) joins Laurie to discuss how he was always chasing new accomplishments, until he realized he was missing the chance to be happy living in the moment. You can hear more from The Happiness Lab at https://podcasts.pushkin.fm/thls6?sid=tph/.

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. Today's guest is the man in charge of the world's longest scientific study of happiness, a study that has been running since 1938. Dr. Robert Waldinger is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital, and co-founder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. He is also a Zen master and teaches meditation in New England and around the world. His TED Talk is one of the most viewed of all time, with over 43 million views. He's the co-author, along with Dr. Marc Schulz, of The Good Life. In this episode we talk about: What the Harvard Study of Adult Development is and how it got started How much of our happiness is really under our control Why you can't you be happy all the time The concept of "social fitness" Why you should "never worry alone" How having best friends at work can make you more productive And why, in his words, it's never too late to be happy Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robert-waldinger-549

When we think about Buddhism or the dharma, we probably don't think about money. But when the Buddha laid out guidelines about how to make an ethical livelihood, this didn't preclude material success. This episode is part two of this week's series on money, and dives into how we can bring Buddhist principles to an area of our lives that can create so much fear, greed, and dread. Spencer Sherman is the founding CEO of Abacus, a values-driven financial firm, and certified mindfulness teacher. He teaches the Fearless Finance program and The Mastery of Money program for NYU's Inner MBA program. He is also the author of The Cure For Money Madness. In this episode we talk about: How to identify and reframe our potentially harmful beliefs about money How to apply the Four Brahma Viharas to having a healthier relationship with our finances How to use the RAIN technique when we become anxious about money Spencer's 'Enough Practice' designed to give us a sense of equanimity How generosity helps us let go and can create a sense of abundance How mindfulness of money can key us into interconnection And whether you can actually be a successful investor if you're guided by Buddhist values Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/spencer-sherman-544

Money is often a messy and complicated topic that provokes a lot of anxiety. Today's show is the first episode of a two-part series on managing our relationship to money and understanding what role money really plays when it comes to our happiness. Morgan Housel is the author of The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness. Translated into over 50 languages with over two million copies sold, Housel is a two-time winner of the Best in Business Award from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers, winner of the New York Times Sidney Award, and a two-time finalist for the Gerald Loeb Award for Distinguished Business and Financial Journalism. In this conversation we talk about: The difference between happiness and contentment The difference between being rich and being wealthy The elusive but crucial concept of "enough" The importance of not moving the goalposts when it comes to enough-ness Why financial success is more about behavior than intelligence How our lived experiences impact our perspectives on money Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/morgan-housel-543

What is the Dalai Lama's own meditation practice like? In this final episode, the Dalai Lama goes into great detail about the whys and wherefores of meditation, taking us way into the deep end. We cover single-pointed versus analytical meditation, gross and subtle levels of the mind, "true cessation," and how we can use sleep as practice for the moment of death. Dr. Davidson returns to explain key, esoteric terms and to help us understand how we can apply elements of the Dalai Lama's practice to our everyday lives. Want more of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness? Download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps. Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-542 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations Thukdam Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod

One of the Dalai Lama's most challenging teachings, especially for secular western minds, is reincarnation. In this episode, His Holiness describes the Buddhist deity who he believes to be his "boss." Dan then sits down with Richie again to discuss whether there is any scientific evidence for rebirth. The episode begins and ends with emotional moments, where members of our team respond with tears to being in the presence of the Dalai Lama. Want more of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness? Download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps. Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-541 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations UVA research on reincarnation Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod

How can we get better at selfishness? That's one of many fascinating topics we cover in this episode, in which we play snippets from Dan's one-on-one interview with His Holiness, and then unpack it all with Dr. Richard Davidson, neuroscientist and founder of the Center for Healthy Minds. We talk to His Holiness about "wise selfishness," how to handle our enemies, and whether he ever gets angry. Then Richie recounts a time when His Holiness exhibited a rare flash of anger— towards him, in fact. Want more of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness? Download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-540 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod

The Dalai Lama makes a risky move. When confronted by a young American woman coping with incredible loss, he does something surprising and counterintuitive. The incident surfaces a question that is more urgent now than ever: As social media, tribalism, individualism, and a global pandemic conspire to keep us separated from each other, how do we maintain what psychologists call "social fitness"? In conversation with Dr. Richard J. Davidson, world renowned neuroscientist and longtime friend and collaborator of the Dalai Lama, we unpack the scientifically demonstrated benefits of the social connection embodied by His Holiness, and give easily accessible strategies to incorporate this wisdom into your everyday life. Also, Dan has a bit of an identity crisis. Want more of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness? Download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-539 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations Compassionate Leadership Summit The Wellbeing Project Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod

Dan flies to Dharamsala, India to spend two weeks in the orbit of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. This is the first installment of a five-part audio documentary series, something we've never done before now. Over the course of the episodes, we talk to His Holiness about practical strategies for thorny dilemmas, including: how to get along with difficult people; whether compassion can cut it in an often brutal world; why there is a self-interested case for not being a jerk; and how to create social connection in an era of disconnection. We also get rare insights from the Dalai Lama into everything from the mechanics of reincarnation to His Holiness's own personal mediation practice. In this first installment, Dan watches as a young activist directly challenges His Holiness: In a world plagued by climate change, terrorism, and other existential threats, is the Dalia Lama's message of compassion practical — or even relevant? Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-538 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations Compassionate Leadership Summit Additional Resources: Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- According to guest Adam Grant, excellence does not require perfectionism, and rather than obsessing over the outcome of your work, there are better ways of measuring your own success. Adam Grant is a frequent flier on this show and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of 5 books that have sold millions of copies and have been translated into 35 languages: Think Again, Give and Take, Originals, Option B, and Power Moves. He's an organizational psychologist who has been the top-rated professor at Wharton for seven years. He's also the host of a newish podcast, called Re:Thinking with Adam Grant, in addition to his other chart-topping podcast, called WorkLife. In this conversation, we talked about: Adam's definition of neurotic vs. normal perfectionism Why he thinks we're seeing a rise in perfectionism amongst younger people Strategies for managing perfectionism A different metric for measuring the quality of our work The importance of finding the right judges of our work Reimagining our relationship to failure by setting a failure budget The difference between procrastination vs. what he personally suffers from: "precrastination" Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/adam-grant-547

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Our guest today is one of the most prominent happiness researchers in the world, and he has come to the conclusion that living the good life boils down to one thing: finding awe. We're going to learn what awe does to your body, how it changes your sense of self and your relationship to the world, and why we evolved to feel awe. We're also going to get eight simple strategies for mainlining awe into our everyday lives. Dacher Keltner is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and the faculty director of UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center. His new book is called, Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life. In this conversation we talk about: What awe is exactly How awe is different from other primal emotions like fear and appreciation of beauty Why we are awe-starved in our culture right now The connection between awe and morality How to get something called "moral beauty" into our lives as an alternative to the outrage served up by social media The importance of something called "collective effervescence" How to use nature, music, and even death as sources of awe How to understand epiphanies And how awe has the potential to get us into trouble sometimes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dacher-keltner-546

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Brené Brown has found that most people are only able to identify three emotions: happy, sad and pissed off. In this episode we explore how better understanding the full spectrum of your emotions, rather than drowning in them, can become an upward spiral. Brené Brown is the author of six #1 New York Times bestsellers. Her latest book is Atlas of the Heart, which is also the name of her HBO Max series. Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston and a visiting professor in management at the University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. Her TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks in the world, with over 50 million views. In this episode we talk about: Why she decided to map the 87 key emotions and experiences How she was deeply influenced by the Buddhist concept of the "near enemy" Why she no longer believes it's possible to read emotions in other people And why meaningful connections require boundaries Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language, but a clean version of the episode is available at tenpercent.com and on the Ten Percent Happier app. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brene-brown-436-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The New Year is approaching and this is a time when many of us think about making and breaking new habits. So today we're bringing on one of the smartest people when it comes to habits, best-selling author and speaker Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen's contention is that before you embark on a self-improvement project, it's crucial to have some self-awareness about what kind of person you are. She has devised a framework called the Four Tendencies, which helps you identify your personality type in order to gain powerful insights into how you make or break habits. Rubin is a lawyer by training and began her career clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Gretchen then went on to write a series of books that examine small and doable ways to boost our happiness in everyday life. These include: The Happiness Project, which spent two years on the bestseller list and sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide, and Better Than Before. We initially conducted the interview you're about to hear back in 2017, when Gretchen released a book called The Four Tendencies. In this episode we talk about: How and why Gretchen developed the Four Tendencies framework How Gretchen's framework can give each of us a recipe for successful habit change Breaking down the Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, or Rebels How these Four Tendencies are an overlapping Venn diagram What "obliger rebellion" is and how to spot it in your relationships The value of forming an accountability group And why Gretchen sometimes calls herself a happiness bully Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gretchen-rubin-99-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today we're tackling some thorny dharma questions. For example: How do you love someone without attachment? How do you love yourself when the self is allegedly an illusion? Kevin Griffin is both a long time Buddhist practitioner and also a 12 step participant, and in another previous episode we talked to him about the nature of craving and addiction. In this popular episode from the archives, Kevin talks about his semi-skeptical take on loving kindness – that venerable if somewhat misunderstood Buddhist concept and practice. His book is being re-released this month, with a slightly new title Living Kindness: Metta Practice for the Whole of Our Lives. In this conversation, we talk about: Loving kindness versus living kindness The dangers of modern loving kindness practice The idea that you don't have to feel love all the time And we talk about a Buddhist text called the Metta Sutta. Content Warning: The interview includes brief references to addiction and other forms of suffering. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kevin-griffin-370-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- If you're tired of the venom, preening, and predatory listening so common on all sides of our various cultural divides, this episode is for you. My guest today is Loretta Ross, who believes that "calling out," which is quite common on social media these days, is adding way too much toxicity to the discourse and alienating people who might otherwise be allies. Instead, she believes in "calling in," which steadfastly insists on a large measure of grace, and rejects the impulse to dehumanize. On today's show, Loretta offers a compelling mode of engagement that is insistently open-minded and large-hearted, no matter where you stand on the political divide. Loretta describes herself as a radical Black feminist, activist, and public intellectual. She's a visiting Associate Professor at Smith College, and she also teaches an online course called, Calling in the Calling Out Culture. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/loretta-ross-316-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It's possible to actually be addicted to self-criticism, especially as a way to keep yourself safe. But evidence shows that's not true, and today's episode dives into strategies to deal with your own self-hatred. This is part two of a series this week on forgiveness. In our last episode, Jack Kornfield focused on forgiving other people and in today's episode, Tara Brach talks about forgiving yourself. Tara Brach is a meditation teacher, psychologist and author of several books including Radical Acceptance, Radical Compassion and Trusting the Gold. Her weekly podcast is downloaded 3 million times a month. Tara is also the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. In this episode we talk about: Why Tara says self-hatred "divides us from our ourselves" The benefits of learning the habit to stop kicking our own asses Simple meditations to help us with self-forgiveness Questions that can help us understand what really matters to us, and what we really want The power of seeing the profundity in mundane experiences A refresher on a fan favorite meditation technique: RAIN How to start trusting reality more than we believe the beliefs about ourselves Forgiveness vs accountability Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tara-brach-534

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. The allure of resentment, of holding a grudge or nursing your rage can be super powerful. In today's episode, Jack Kornfield, one of the great western meditation masters, talks about Buddhist strategies for not holding grudges and the self-interested case for forgiveness. This episode is the first of a two-part series this week on forgiveness. In this conversation we talk about: What forgiveness is and isn't Whether forgiveness is a single act or an ongoing process The cost of not forgiving A forgiveness practice you can try in your meditation Whether it's possible to respond to the misdeeds and transgressions of others with force and love at the same time Whether there are things that are unforgivable And Jack's contention that forgiveness involves a shift in identity Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jack-kornfield-533

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today we're taking a run at something that is simultaneously a contemplative cliché and also a deeply desired psychological outcome: getting out of your head and into your body. So many of us want an escape route from the spinning, looping, fishing narratives and grudges in our head and our guest today has some very practical suggestions to help us do that. Kelly Boys is a mindfulness trainer and coach. She has helped design and deliver mindfulness and resilience programs for the UN, Google, and San Quentin State Prison. She is also the author of The Blind Spot Effect: How to Stop Missing What's Right in Front of You Today we're going to talk specifically about a type of meditation that Kelly teaches called Yoga Nidra, which has been shown to help you sleep, improve your working memory, and decrease cravings. In this episode we talk about: The difference between Yoga Nidra and mindfulness meditation, and how Kelly seeks to combine them The value of being able to both observe and high-five your demons Working with our "core beliefs" about ourselves and the world The calming power of drawing your attention to the back side of your body throughout the day Working with "opposites" as a way to get unstuck in difficult moments What Kelly means by the blind spot effect Setting intentions Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kelly-boys-531

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The subject of anxiety never seems to lose its relevance. In this special episode we answer listener voicemails with one of the world's leading experts on anxiety. Dr. Jud Brewer is the Chief Medical Officer at Sharecare and the Director of Research and Innovation at Brown University's Mindfulness Center. He is also the New York Times best-selling author of Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind and an expert in the field of habit change and the science of self-mastery. In this episode we talk about: The current levels of anxiety in our culture Why fear and planning can be helpful, but worrying is not The role of curiosity and kindness in short circuiting anxiety How to differentiate between anxiety and excitement Whether we can try too hard to treat our anxiety And why as a society we are moving away from distress tolerance Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/judson-brewer-530

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We've all got parts of our personality or our past that we're ashamed of. We might refer to these parts of ourselves as our demons, our baggage, or our secrets; no one is immune. So, how do you want to deal with this situation? Stay coiled in shame and denial? That only makes the demons stronger. An alternative, per my guest Koshin Paley Ellison, is to approach your stuff with "healthy embarrassment." That allows you to work more skillfully with your baggage so that it doesn't own you. And once you're cooler with yourself, that can improve your relationships with other people, which is probably the most important variable for your happiness. And healthy embarrassment is just one of many extremely useful things we are going to talk about today. Koshin Paley Ellison is an author, Zen teacher, Jungian psychotherapist, and Certified Chaplaincy Educator. He is the co-founder of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care, an amazing place which, among other things, trains people to be volunteers in hospice centers. Koshin is the author of a new book called Untangled: Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage, and Compassion, which centers on a classic Buddhist list called The Eightfold Path, the Buddha's recipe for enlightenment or, as Koshin puts it, "the most awesome combo platter." In this episode we talk about: What is The Eightfold Path and how it fits into another Buddhist list, The Four Noble Truths How to use the list to do life better The danger of perfectionism in putting the list to use in your life How to bridge the gap between what we say we care about and what we're actually doing with our lives How sitting with your pain can lead to freedom The utility and pitfalls of gossip How we can look at the idea of "killing" in many different ways, including how one can "kill a moment" or "the energy in a room" How the concept of "right effort" can help us find the balance between not doing enough and overworking ourselves How being uncomfortable is a sign of real engagement with our practice And Koshin's addition of the concept of "mystery" as another aspect of the eightfold path Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/koshin-paley-ellison-528

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today we explore the entire dread spectrum with Saleem Reshamwala, who took a deep dive on this very common, very uncomfortable emotion. What is dread, exactly? What evolutionary purpose does it serve? Most importantly, how do we deal with it? What are the antidotes? Reshamwala has worked for The New York Times, PBS, and also TED, where he hosts a podcast called Far Flung. He is also the host of More Than A Feeling, another podcast here at Ten Percent Happier. Saleem and his team recently launched something called The Dread Project - we shared their first episode kicking off the series last week. It's a five-day series that investigates dread. Each day of the challenge, listeners tackle dread in a different way. You can sign up for The Dread Project at dreadproject.com. In this episode we talk about: Dread-management techniques, including: journaling, drawing, and welcoming your dread to the party inside your head How to face dread when it comes to climate change And the biggest dread of all— death Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/saleem-reshamwala-527

This episode is for anyone who has ever had a tough or tricky moment. In other words, everyone who is currently drawing breath on planet earth right now. Today's guests are powerhouse duo Tsoknyi Rinpoche and Daniel Goleman. Tsoknyi Rinpoche is one of the greatest living Tibetan masters who has a whole toolbox of techniques for dealing with difficult moments, habitual patterns, and common meditation obstacles. He'll be in conversation with Daniel Goleman, a trained scientist and science writer best known for his landmark book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Together, they have just written a book called Why We Meditate: The Science and Practice of Clarity and Compassion. This is the fourth and final installment of our series called, The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. In this episode we talk about: The single word that Rinpoche believes captures the most challenging aspect of modern life Two of the biggest obstacles for meditators What Rinpoche calls the "drop it" practice Rinpoche's term, "beautiful monsters" The four steps of the "handshake" practice, which is meant for meeting difficult emotions and being OK with them Why reasoning with your feelings doesn't work How to experience a fundamental OK-ness independent of external conditions A personal story from Rinpoche about being with one of his own difficult habits What Rinpoche calls the "three speed limits" And, "belly breathing" Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tsoknyi-rinpoche-daniel-goleman-523

Is it possible to learn to spot which state your nervous system is in and move from suboptimal states to much better ones? The subject of how to work with your own nervous system is called Polyvagal Theory and today's guests Deb Dana & Kaira Jewel Lingo will give us a primer on what that exactly means. They will also talk about how our nervous systems are connected to the nervous systems of other people, and how we can learn to co-regulate our systems for the betterment of others. Deb Dana is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, who is a clinician, consultant and author specializing in complex trauma. Her work is focused on using the lens of Polyvagal Theory to understand and resolve the impact of trauma, and creating ways of working that honor the role of the autonomic nervous system. She has written several books, including Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory. Kaira Jewel Lingo is a Dharma teacher with a lifelong interest in spirituality and social justice. After living as an ordained nun for 15 years in Thich Nhat Hanh's monastic community, Kaira Jewel now teaches internationally in the Zen lineage and the Vipassana tradition, as well as in secular mindfulness, with a focus on activists, Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, artists, educators, families, and youth. She is author of We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons for Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption. This is the third installment of our series called, The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. In this episode we talk about: The basics of Polyvagal Theory A fascinating and easily graspable concept from Buddhist psychology called, "store consciousness" The interconnectedness of our nervous systems and the responsibility that creates for all of us How to handle being annoyed What happens when we beat ourselves up with "shoulds," and how to stop doing that The value of simply knowing, in the moments when you're stuck, that those moments are impermanent How to allow your suffering to inform your life The value of "micro-moments" Two ways of caring for painful states without suppressing them And the power of action and service in overcoming anxiety Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/deb-dana-kaira-jewel-lingo-522

A common idea in the west is that our feelings or emotions should be viewed with suspicion, superseded or overridden by rational thought, and that your mind is a battleground between emotions and rationality. But on the show today, guests Lisa Feldman Barrett and John Dunne are going to offer a very compelling science backed argument that disputes the notion that thinking and feeling are distinct. Furthermore, they argue that understanding how emotions are actually made can be a life or death matter. Lisa Feldman Barrett is a University Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University with appointments at the Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School. Dr. Barrett is among the top 1% most-cited scientists, having published over 270 peer-reviewed scientific papers. She has written several books, including How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain, and Seven And A Half Lessons About The Brain. Her TED talk has been viewed more than 6.5 million times. John Dunne holds the Distinguished Chair in Contemplative Humanities at the Center for Healthy Minds of the University of Wisconsin-Madison. His work focuses on Buddhist philosophy and contemplative practice, especially in dialog with Cognitive Science and Psychology. He earned his PhD from Harvard. This is part two in a series we're calling The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. In this episode we talk about: Lisa's scientific definition of emotions John's Buddhist contention that emotions, as a category, do not exist in Buddhism The difference between suffering and discomfort What we can do to master our emotions including understanding what Lisa terms as our "body budget" Becoming more emotionally intelligent Mastering our feelings in the moment Whether or not pain is an emotion and how it works How and why to be present in the here and now The upside of unpleasant feelings Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lisa-feldman-barrett-john-dunne-520

In western culture, there's been a long held view that our ability to reason should be placed above our emotions. But the hard truth is that our emotions are there and they're non-negotiable— and If you don't know how to work with them, they can own you. The good news is that you can work with them and that there are many systems for doing so. To boot, you can learn a ton by listening to your emotions in the right ways. Today's guests, Shinzen Young and James Gross will help us understand how to work with our emotions and offer both techniques in modern science and ancient wisdom in order to do so. Gross is the Ernest R. Hilgard Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, where he directs the Stanford Psychophysiology Laboratory. Young is an American mindfulness teacher and neuroscience research consultant. He teaches something called Unified Mindfulness, which you will hear him describe in this conversation. This is part one in a series we're calling The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. In this episode we talk about: James's "modal model" for understanding what emotions are and how they work James's five different types of strategies you can use for regulating your emotions Shinzen's contention that emotions have two sides to them How we can experience emotions with more fulfillment and less suffering via a mindfulness training he calls "focus factors" James's "process model of emotion regulation" What James believes are the elements that unite science and Buddhism Shinzen's contention that anyone can experience massive benefits of mindfulness training if their meditation practice has four key components Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/shinzen-young-james-gross-519

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Can gratitude be more than just a platitude? Our guest today argues: yes. DaRa Williams is a longtime practitioner and teacher of meditation. She is one of the guiding teachers at Insight Meditation Society, a graduate of the Spirit Rock Insight Meditation Society Teacher Training Program, and also has a clinical mental health private practice in Manhattan. DaRa also says, only semi-facetiously, that she believes gratitude can be considered the fifth Brahma Vihara. In this conversation we talk about: How to start knitting gratitude into your everyday life Whether gratitude is possible when everything sucks How to avoid spiritual bypass The opportunity that suffering brings for happiness How to take our suffering less personally The power of reminding yourself that you are nature And our unconscious fascination with creating difficulty Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dara-williams-295-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- There are all sorts of ways to struggle with getting things done. Maybe you're a procrastinator, maybe you're somebody whose energy flags in the middle of a project, maybe you're too stubborn and don't know when to quit, or maybe you're somebody who sets too many goals and gets burned out. Whatever your situation, we all struggle with motivation. The good news is that there's a whole crew of scientists who study best practices for getting things done, including today's guest, Ayelet Fishbach, PhD. Fishbach is one of the most eminent players in the field. She is the Jeffrey Breakenridge Keller Professor of Behavioral Science and Marketing at the University of Chicago, Booth School of Business. She is also the author of Get It Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation. In this episode we talk about: The crucial first step of setting goals How to pick the right goals for you Whether it's more effective to have a goal that is positive – where you're aiming to achieve something specific – or negative – where you're aiming to stop doing something Whether to-do lists work Whether incentives work Best practices for monitoring your progress The importance of celebrating milestones The importance of negative feedback Why the 10,000 steps per day goal makes motivational sense even though it's been proven to be scientifically arbitrary And how to know when to let go of a goal Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ayelet-fishbach-525

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We're sharing a very special episode from a frequent guest of the show, Esther Perel. In this episode, "Love in War with Esther Perel: Ukraine," you'll hear a couples session led by Esther, between a husband and wife whose family has been torn apart by the war in Ukraine. Through the lens of relationship, you experience both the horrors of war and the relatability of intimate relationships. Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of many books, including Mating In Captivity. She's also the host of the podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How's Work?.

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It is so easy to be pessimistic and, in fact, we are evolutionarily wired towards it with a built in negativity bias. This bias can be super useful, because it keeps us on guard for threats. But like all biases, it can warp the way we see the world. This is why optimism can be incredibly helpful. We're not talking about blind optimism here but more about grounded, realistic and reasonable optimism. Our guest today, Robin Roberts, has come by this skill the hard way. Not only is she one of the boldest of the boldface names in the news business, where she is forced to confront crime, war, and natural disasters on the regular, but she's also come through two very serious bouts of cancer. Roberts is the longtime co-anchor of Good Morning America. She has a new book called, Brighter by the Day: Waking Up to New Hopes and Dreams in which she talks about how she has honed her optimism chops, and how you can, too. In this episode we talk about: How to strengthen your optimism muscle Making "one day, day one" Operationalizing your goals Robin's meditation practice Napping during meditation How she gets enough sleep given her crazy schedule Envisioning the victory Flipping the script so that instead of thinking "what could go wrong?" we think, "what could go right?" Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robin-roberts-516

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Friendship might not necessarily be something you've considered to be an urgent psychological and physiological issue. One thing we explore a lot on the show is that the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life, and sadly, in many ways, it's harder than ever to make and keep friends. With loneliness and disconnection on the rise, our society just wasn't constructed for social connection, and recent data suggests we're in a friendship crisis, with many of us reporting that we have fewer close friendships than ever. Our guest today is Robin Dunbar, an Emeritus Professor of Evolutionary Psychology at Oxford University and the author of numerous books on the development of homo sapiens. Dunbar is perhaps best known for formulating "Dunbar's number," which is a measurement of the number of relationships our brain is capable of maintaining at any one time. He is a world-renowned expert on human relationships, and has a ton of fascinating research findings and practical tips for upping your friendship game. In this conversation, we dive into the science behind human relationships, the upsides and downsides of maintaining friendships on social media, the viability of friendships across gender lines, and what science says you can do to compensate if you feel you are currently lacking in close friendships. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robin-dunbar-372-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Relationships can be tricky. Especially if you find yourself upset with someone, and instead of talking it through, you let it fester until one moment you completely lose it and end up having to apologize. If you've ever felt like you had friction with the people in your life, or that you've been taken for granted, today's episode offers you solid strategies to cope. Sister True Dedication is a Zen Buddhist nun and teacher ordained by the great meditation teacher and author, Thich Nhat Hanh. She edited several of Thich Nhat Hanh's books, including The Art of Living and Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet. She was born in the United Kingdom, studied history and political thought at Cambridge University, and worked for BBC News before ordaining as a nun at the age of 27. In this episode we talk about: The six phrases – or mantras – that Thich Nhat Hanh recommended people use in their relationships Keeping misunderstandings "dust free" Taking action to make sure anger doesn't fester The importance of recognizing that our understanding of the world is always partial Bringing mantras to work How Sister True Dedication went from journalism to the monastery Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sister-true-dedication-514

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- You may remember hearing a massively viral story from a few years ago about a school in Baltimore that gave students meditation, instead of detention. Ali Smith, Atman Smith, and Andres Gonzalez founded the Holistic Life Foundation and are the authors of Let Your Light Shine, which recounts the story of their work helping traumatized children in one of America's most underserved cities, and how mindfulness tools can help children and communities not only survive, but thrive. In this episode we talk about: The story behind their meditation-instead-of-detention initiative Their experience asking principals to give them the most challenging students What it's like working in one of the most violent cities in the world The results from teaching students yoga and meditation How we can apply the lessons they've learned to meditation and life Content Warning: Explicit language. For a clean version of this episode, please listen on the Ten Percent Happier app or at tenpercent.com Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ali-smith-atman-smith-andres-gonzalez-513

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- One of the great perils and problems of our age is that we sometimes become too entrenched in our views and attached to being right. According to guest George Saunders, the antidote is something he calls "holy befuddlement." George Saunders is the author of eleven books, including Lincoln in the Bardo, which won the 2017 Man Booker Prize for best work of fiction in English. His most recent book, Liberation Day, is a collection of short stories that explore the ideas of power, ethics, and justice, cutting to the heart of what it means to live in community with our fellow humans. In this episode we talk about: How George Saunders creates "holy befuddlement" in himself and in his readers How shaving down dogmatism can help us be, in his words, less of a "turd" How to deal with heightened expectations we might have of ourselves Healthy ways to enjoy praise What it looks like to cultivate a relationship with our self, to the extent that the self exists The importance of moral ambiguity in his work The impact of meditating – or not meditating – on our creative work And forgiveness and coming up short Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/george-saunders-511

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It might be hard to find a more annoying cliché than self-love; it can seem empty and inactionable. And even if you could make it work, I think many of us suspect it would lead to complacent resignation or unbridled narcissism. But there is an enormous amount of evidence that self-love, or as the scientists call it, self-compassion, can make you more effective in reaching your goals as well as lead to better relationships with everybody around you. On today's show, the great meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg will walk us through the idea that love— both self-love and other love— is a skill that can be cultivated with massively positive impacts. Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is one of the first to bring mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture over 45 years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers. Sharon is co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, and the author of twelve books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindness. Her forthcoming release, Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Openness and Freedom, is set for release in April of 2023 from Flatiron Books. Her podcast, The Metta Hour, has amassed five million downloads and features interviews with thought leaders from the mindfulness movement and beyond. This episode comes out in conjunction with Dan Harris' recent TED Talk on self-love. You can watch the full talk here. In this episode we talk about: The definition of self-hatred and its predominance in the West The real practical benefits of self-compassion Whether there is a difference between self-compassion and self-love Why many people resist the idea of self-love The distinction between empathy and compassion and how they work together in Buddhism How to have lovingkindness for somebody who doesn't feel we have the right to exist Reclaiming words like love and happiness And how generosity makes us more whole Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sharon-salzberg-510

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Are you interested in suffering less? Today's guest, Dharma teacher Pascal Auclair, is going to talk about seven very specific and practical ways to train your mind for reduced suffering by exploring a Buddhist list called the seven factors of awakening, which is a part of the fourth foundation of mindfulness. We've talked about a bunch of Buddhist lists on the show before, but this is one of the happiest of all the lists to explore. Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, sitting retreats in Asia and America. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield, who have both been previous guests on this show. Pascal is now a core teacher at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts. He is also a co-founder of True North Insight and one of its guiding teachers. This episode is the fifth and final installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness. In this episode we talk about: The movement from difficult states of mind to more beneficial and helpful states of mind How the 7 factors can help you create your "best mind" The difference between the "energizing" and "calming" factors How to practically apply these factors to your daily life And specifically how the seven factors can improve your relationships Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pascal-auclair-508