10% Happier with Dan Harris

Money is often a messy and complicated topic that provokes a lot of anxiety. Today's show is the first episode of a two-part series on managing our relationship to money and understanding what role money really plays when it comes to our happiness. Morgan Housel is the author of The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness. Translated into over 50 languages with over two million copies sold, Housel is a two-time winner of the Best in Business Award from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers, winner of the New York Times Sidney Award, and a two-time finalist for the Gerald Loeb Award for Distinguished Business and Financial Journalism. In this conversation we talk about: The difference between happiness and contentment The difference between being rich and being wealthy The elusive but crucial concept of "enough" The importance of not moving the goalposts when it comes to enough-ness Why financial success is more about behavior than intelligence How our lived experiences impact our perspectives on money Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/morgan-housel-543

What is the Dalai Lama's own meditation practice like? In this final episode, the Dalai Lama goes into great detail about the whys and wherefores of meditation, taking us way into the deep end. We cover single-pointed versus analytical meditation, gross and subtle levels of the mind, "true cessation," and how we can use sleep as practice for the moment of death. Dr. Davidson returns to explain key, esoteric terms and to help us understand how we can apply elements of the Dalai Lama's practice to our everyday lives. Want more of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness? Download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps. Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-542 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations Thukdam Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod

One of the Dalai Lama's most challenging teachings, especially for secular western minds, is reincarnation. In this episode, His Holiness describes the Buddhist deity who he believes to be his "boss." Dan then sits down with Richie again to discuss whether there is any scientific evidence for rebirth. The episode begins and ends with emotional moments, where members of our team respond with tears to being in the presence of the Dalai Lama. Want more of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness? Download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps. Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-541 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations UVA research on reincarnation Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod

How can we get better at selfishness? That's one of many fascinating topics we cover in this episode, in which we play snippets from Dan's one-on-one interview with His Holiness, and then unpack it all with Dr. Richard Davidson, neuroscientist and founder of the Center for Healthy Minds. We talk to His Holiness about "wise selfishness," how to handle our enemies, and whether he ever gets angry. Then Richie recounts a time when His Holiness exhibited a rare flash of anger— towards him, in fact. Want more of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness? Download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-540 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod

The Dalai Lama makes a risky move. When confronted by a young American woman coping with incredible loss, he does something surprising and counterintuitive. The incident surfaces a question that is more urgent now than ever: As social media, tribalism, individualism, and a global pandemic conspire to keep us separated from each other, how do we maintain what psychologists call "social fitness"? In conversation with Dr. Richard J. Davidson, world renowned neuroscientist and longtime friend and collaborator of the Dalai Lama, we unpack the scientifically demonstrated benefits of the social connection embodied by His Holiness, and give easily accessible strategies to incorporate this wisdom into your everyday life. Also, Dan has a bit of an identity crisis. Want more of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness? Download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-539 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations Compassionate Leadership Summit The Wellbeing Project Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod

Dan flies to Dharamsala, India to spend two weeks in the orbit of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. This is the first installment of a five-part audio documentary series, something we've never done before now. Over the course of the episodes, we talk to His Holiness about practical strategies for thorny dilemmas, including: how to get along with difficult people; whether compassion can cut it in an often brutal world; why there is a self-interested case for not being a jerk; and how to create social connection in an era of disconnection. We also get rare insights from the Dalai Lama into everything from the mechanics of reincarnation to His Holiness's own personal mediation practice. In this first installment, Dan watches as a young activist directly challenges His Holiness: In a world plagued by climate change, terrorism, and other existential threats, is the Dalia Lama's message of compassion practical — or even relevant? Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-538 Other Resources Mentioned: Healthy Minds Innovations Compassionate Leadership Summit Additional Resources: Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- According to guest Adam Grant, excellence does not require perfectionism, and rather than obsessing over the outcome of your work, there are better ways of measuring your own success. Adam Grant is a frequent flier on this show and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of 5 books that have sold millions of copies and have been translated into 35 languages: Think Again, Give and Take, Originals, Option B, and Power Moves. He's an organizational psychologist who has been the top-rated professor at Wharton for seven years. He's also the host of a newish podcast, called Re:Thinking with Adam Grant, in addition to his other chart-topping podcast, called WorkLife. In this conversation, we talked about: Adam's definition of neurotic vs. normal perfectionism Why he thinks we're seeing a rise in perfectionism amongst younger people Strategies for managing perfectionism A different metric for measuring the quality of our work The importance of finding the right judges of our work Reimagining our relationship to failure by setting a failure budget The difference between procrastination vs. what he personally suffers from: "precrastination" Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/adam-grant-547

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Our guest today is one of the most prominent happiness researchers in the world, and he has come to the conclusion that living the good life boils down to one thing: finding awe. We're going to learn what awe does to your body, how it changes your sense of self and your relationship to the world, and why we evolved to feel awe. We're also going to get eight simple strategies for mainlining awe into our everyday lives. Dacher Keltner is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and the faculty director of UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center. His new book is called, Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life. In this conversation we talk about: What awe is exactly How awe is different from other primal emotions like fear and appreciation of beauty Why we are awe-starved in our culture right now The connection between awe and morality How to get something called "moral beauty" into our lives as an alternative to the outrage served up by social media The importance of something called "collective effervescence" How to use nature, music, and even death as sources of awe How to understand epiphanies And how awe has the potential to get us into trouble sometimes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dacher-keltner-546

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Brené Brown has found that most people are only able to identify three emotions: happy, sad and pissed off. In this episode we explore how better understanding the full spectrum of your emotions, rather than drowning in them, can become an upward spiral. Brené Brown is the author of six #1 New York Times bestsellers. Her latest book is Atlas of the Heart, which is also the name of her HBO Max series. Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston and a visiting professor in management at the University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. Her TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks in the world, with over 50 million views. In this episode we talk about: Why she decided to map the 87 key emotions and experiences How she was deeply influenced by the Buddhist concept of the "near enemy" Why she no longer believes it's possible to read emotions in other people And why meaningful connections require boundaries Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language, but a clean version of the episode is available at tenpercent.com and on the Ten Percent Happier app. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brene-brown-436-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The New Year is approaching and this is a time when many of us think about making and breaking new habits. So today we're bringing on one of the smartest people when it comes to habits, best-selling author and speaker Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen's contention is that before you embark on a self-improvement project, it's crucial to have some self-awareness about what kind of person you are. She has devised a framework called the Four Tendencies, which helps you identify your personality type in order to gain powerful insights into how you make or break habits. Rubin is a lawyer by training and began her career clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Gretchen then went on to write a series of books that examine small and doable ways to boost our happiness in everyday life. These include: The Happiness Project, which spent two years on the bestseller list and sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide, and Better Than Before. We initially conducted the interview you're about to hear back in 2017, when Gretchen released a book called The Four Tendencies. In this episode we talk about: How and why Gretchen developed the Four Tendencies framework How Gretchen's framework can give each of us a recipe for successful habit change Breaking down the Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, or Rebels How these Four Tendencies are an overlapping Venn diagram What "obliger rebellion" is and how to spot it in your relationships The value of forming an accountability group And why Gretchen sometimes calls herself a happiness bully Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gretchen-rubin-99-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today we're tackling some thorny dharma questions. For example: How do you love someone without attachment? How do you love yourself when the self is allegedly an illusion? Kevin Griffin is both a long time Buddhist practitioner and also a 12 step participant, and in another previous episode we talked to him about the nature of craving and addiction. In this popular episode from the archives, Kevin talks about his semi-skeptical take on loving kindness – that venerable if somewhat misunderstood Buddhist concept and practice. His book is being re-released this month, with a slightly new title Living Kindness: Metta Practice for the Whole of Our Lives. In this conversation, we talk about: Loving kindness versus living kindness The dangers of modern loving kindness practice The idea that you don't have to feel love all the time And we talk about a Buddhist text called the Metta Sutta. Content Warning: The interview includes brief references to addiction and other forms of suffering. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kevin-griffin-370-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- If you're tired of the venom, preening, and predatory listening so common on all sides of our various cultural divides, this episode is for you. My guest today is Loretta Ross, who believes that "calling out," which is quite common on social media these days, is adding way too much toxicity to the discourse and alienating people who might otherwise be allies. Instead, she believes in "calling in," which steadfastly insists on a large measure of grace, and rejects the impulse to dehumanize. On today's show, Loretta offers a compelling mode of engagement that is insistently open-minded and large-hearted, no matter where you stand on the political divide. Loretta describes herself as a radical Black feminist, activist, and public intellectual. She's a visiting Associate Professor at Smith College, and she also teaches an online course called, Calling in the Calling Out Culture. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/loretta-ross-316-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It's possible to actually be addicted to self-criticism, especially as a way to keep yourself safe. But evidence shows that's not true, and today's episode dives into strategies to deal with your own self-hatred. This is part two of a series this week on forgiveness. In our last episode, Jack Kornfield focused on forgiving other people and in today's episode, Tara Brach talks about forgiving yourself. Tara Brach is a meditation teacher, psychologist and author of several books including Radical Acceptance, Radical Compassion and Trusting the Gold. Her weekly podcast is downloaded 3 million times a month. Tara is also the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. In this episode we talk about: Why Tara says self-hatred "divides us from our ourselves" The benefits of learning the habit to stop kicking our own asses Simple meditations to help us with self-forgiveness Questions that can help us understand what really matters to us, and what we really want The power of seeing the profundity in mundane experiences A refresher on a fan favorite meditation technique: RAIN How to start trusting reality more than we believe the beliefs about ourselves Forgiveness vs accountability Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tara-brach-534

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. The allure of resentment, of holding a grudge or nursing your rage can be super powerful. In today's episode, Jack Kornfield, one of the great western meditation masters, talks about Buddhist strategies for not holding grudges and the self-interested case for forgiveness. This episode is the first of a two-part series this week on forgiveness. In this conversation we talk about: What forgiveness is and isn't Whether forgiveness is a single act or an ongoing process The cost of not forgiving A forgiveness practice you can try in your meditation Whether it's possible to respond to the misdeeds and transgressions of others with force and love at the same time Whether there are things that are unforgivable And Jack's contention that forgiveness involves a shift in identity Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jack-kornfield-533

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today we're taking a run at something that is simultaneously a contemplative cliché and also a deeply desired psychological outcome: getting out of your head and into your body. So many of us want an escape route from the spinning, looping, fishing narratives and grudges in our head and our guest today has some very practical suggestions to help us do that. Kelly Boys is a mindfulness trainer and coach. She has helped design and deliver mindfulness and resilience programs for the UN, Google, and San Quentin State Prison. She is also the author of The Blind Spot Effect: How to Stop Missing What's Right in Front of You Today we're going to talk specifically about a type of meditation that Kelly teaches called Yoga Nidra, which has been shown to help you sleep, improve your working memory, and decrease cravings. In this episode we talk about: The difference between Yoga Nidra and mindfulness meditation, and how Kelly seeks to combine them The value of being able to both observe and high-five your demons Working with our "core beliefs" about ourselves and the world The calming power of drawing your attention to the back side of your body throughout the day Working with "opposites" as a way to get unstuck in difficult moments What Kelly means by the blind spot effect Setting intentions Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kelly-boys-531

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The subject of anxiety never seems to lose its relevance. In this special episode we answer listener voicemails with one of the world's leading experts on anxiety. Dr. Jud Brewer is the Chief Medical Officer at Sharecare and the Director of Research and Innovation at Brown University's Mindfulness Center. He is also the New York Times best-selling author of Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind and an expert in the field of habit change and the science of self-mastery. In this episode we talk about: The current levels of anxiety in our culture Why fear and planning can be helpful, but worrying is not The role of curiosity and kindness in short circuiting anxiety How to differentiate between anxiety and excitement Whether we can try too hard to treat our anxiety And why as a society we are moving away from distress tolerance Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/judson-brewer-530

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We've all got parts of our personality or our past that we're ashamed of. We might refer to these parts of ourselves as our demons, our baggage, or our secrets; no one is immune. So, how do you want to deal with this situation? Stay coiled in shame and denial? That only makes the demons stronger. An alternative, per my guest Koshin Paley Ellison, is to approach your stuff with "healthy embarrassment." That allows you to work more skillfully with your baggage so that it doesn't own you. And once you're cooler with yourself, that can improve your relationships with other people, which is probably the most important variable for your happiness. And healthy embarrassment is just one of many extremely useful things we are going to talk about today. Koshin Paley Ellison is an author, Zen teacher, Jungian psychotherapist, and Certified Chaplaincy Educator. He is the co-founder of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care, an amazing place which, among other things, trains people to be volunteers in hospice centers. Koshin is the author of a new book called Untangled: Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage, and Compassion, which centers on a classic Buddhist list called The Eightfold Path, the Buddha's recipe for enlightenment or, as Koshin puts it, "the most awesome combo platter." In this episode we talk about: What is The Eightfold Path and how it fits into another Buddhist list, The Four Noble Truths How to use the list to do life better The danger of perfectionism in putting the list to use in your life How to bridge the gap between what we say we care about and what we're actually doing with our lives How sitting with your pain can lead to freedom The utility and pitfalls of gossip How we can look at the idea of "killing" in many different ways, including how one can "kill a moment" or "the energy in a room" How the concept of "right effort" can help us find the balance between not doing enough and overworking ourselves How being uncomfortable is a sign of real engagement with our practice And Koshin's addition of the concept of "mystery" as another aspect of the eightfold path Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/koshin-paley-ellison-528

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today we explore the entire dread spectrum with Saleem Reshamwala, who took a deep dive on this very common, very uncomfortable emotion. What is dread, exactly? What evolutionary purpose does it serve? Most importantly, how do we deal with it? What are the antidotes? Reshamwala has worked for The New York Times, PBS, and also TED, where he hosts a podcast called Far Flung. He is also the host of More Than A Feeling, another podcast here at Ten Percent Happier. Saleem and his team recently launched something called The Dread Project - we shared their first episode kicking off the series last week. It's a five-day series that investigates dread. Each day of the challenge, listeners tackle dread in a different way. You can sign up for The Dread Project at dreadproject.com. In this episode we talk about: Dread-management techniques, including: journaling, drawing, and welcoming your dread to the party inside your head How to face dread when it comes to climate change And the biggest dread of all— death Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/saleem-reshamwala-527

This episode is for anyone who has ever had a tough or tricky moment. In other words, everyone who is currently drawing breath on planet earth right now. Today's guests are powerhouse duo Tsoknyi Rinpoche and Daniel Goleman. Tsoknyi Rinpoche is one of the greatest living Tibetan masters who has a whole toolbox of techniques for dealing with difficult moments, habitual patterns, and common meditation obstacles. He'll be in conversation with Daniel Goleman, a trained scientist and science writer best known for his landmark book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Together, they have just written a book called Why We Meditate: The Science and Practice of Clarity and Compassion. This is the fourth and final installment of our series called, The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. In this episode we talk about: The single word that Rinpoche believes captures the most challenging aspect of modern life Two of the biggest obstacles for meditators What Rinpoche calls the "drop it" practice Rinpoche's term, "beautiful monsters" The four steps of the "handshake" practice, which is meant for meeting difficult emotions and being OK with them Why reasoning with your feelings doesn't work How to experience a fundamental OK-ness independent of external conditions A personal story from Rinpoche about being with one of his own difficult habits What Rinpoche calls the "three speed limits" And, "belly breathing" Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tsoknyi-rinpoche-daniel-goleman-523

Is it possible to learn to spot which state your nervous system is in and move from suboptimal states to much better ones? The subject of how to work with your own nervous system is called Polyvagal Theory and today's guests Deb Dana & Kaira Jewel Lingo will give us a primer on what that exactly means. They will also talk about how our nervous systems are connected to the nervous systems of other people, and how we can learn to co-regulate our systems for the betterment of others. Deb Dana is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, who is a clinician, consultant and author specializing in complex trauma. Her work is focused on using the lens of Polyvagal Theory to understand and resolve the impact of trauma, and creating ways of working that honor the role of the autonomic nervous system. She has written several books, including Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory. Kaira Jewel Lingo is a Dharma teacher with a lifelong interest in spirituality and social justice. After living as an ordained nun for 15 years in Thich Nhat Hanh's monastic community, Kaira Jewel now teaches internationally in the Zen lineage and the Vipassana tradition, as well as in secular mindfulness, with a focus on activists, Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, artists, educators, families, and youth. She is author of We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons for Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption. This is the third installment of our series called, The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. In this episode we talk about: The basics of Polyvagal Theory A fascinating and easily graspable concept from Buddhist psychology called, "store consciousness" The interconnectedness of our nervous systems and the responsibility that creates for all of us How to handle being annoyed What happens when we beat ourselves up with "shoulds," and how to stop doing that The value of simply knowing, in the moments when you're stuck, that those moments are impermanent How to allow your suffering to inform your life The value of "micro-moments" Two ways of caring for painful states without suppressing them And the power of action and service in overcoming anxiety Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/deb-dana-kaira-jewel-lingo-522

A common idea in the west is that our feelings or emotions should be viewed with suspicion, superseded or overridden by rational thought, and that your mind is a battleground between emotions and rationality. But on the show today, guests Lisa Feldman Barrett and John Dunne are going to offer a very compelling science backed argument that disputes the notion that thinking and feeling are distinct. Furthermore, they argue that understanding how emotions are actually made can be a life or death matter. Lisa Feldman Barrett is a University Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University with appointments at the Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School. Dr. Barrett is among the top 1% most-cited scientists, having published over 270 peer-reviewed scientific papers. She has written several books, including How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain, and Seven And A Half Lessons About The Brain. Her TED talk has been viewed more than 6.5 million times. John Dunne holds the Distinguished Chair in Contemplative Humanities at the Center for Healthy Minds of the University of Wisconsin-Madison. His work focuses on Buddhist philosophy and contemplative practice, especially in dialog with Cognitive Science and Psychology. He earned his PhD from Harvard. This is part two in a series we're calling The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. In this episode we talk about: Lisa's scientific definition of emotions John's Buddhist contention that emotions, as a category, do not exist in Buddhism The difference between suffering and discomfort What we can do to master our emotions including understanding what Lisa terms as our "body budget" Becoming more emotionally intelligent Mastering our feelings in the moment Whether or not pain is an emotion and how it works How and why to be present in the here and now The upside of unpleasant feelings Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lisa-feldman-barrett-john-dunne-520

In western culture, there's been a long held view that our ability to reason should be placed above our emotions. But the hard truth is that our emotions are there and they're non-negotiable— and If you don't know how to work with them, they can own you. The good news is that you can work with them and that there are many systems for doing so. To boot, you can learn a ton by listening to your emotions in the right ways. Today's guests, Shinzen Young and James Gross will help us understand how to work with our emotions and offer both techniques in modern science and ancient wisdom in order to do so. Gross is the Ernest R. Hilgard Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, where he directs the Stanford Psychophysiology Laboratory. Young is an American mindfulness teacher and neuroscience research consultant. He teaches something called Unified Mindfulness, which you will hear him describe in this conversation. This is part one in a series we're calling The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together. In each episode we bring together a meditative adept or Buddhist scholar and a respected scientist. The idea is to give you the best of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools for regulating your emotions. In this episode we talk about: James's "modal model" for understanding what emotions are and how they work James's five different types of strategies you can use for regulating your emotions Shinzen's contention that emotions have two sides to them How we can experience emotions with more fulfillment and less suffering via a mindfulness training he calls "focus factors" James's "process model of emotion regulation" What James believes are the elements that unite science and Buddhism Shinzen's contention that anyone can experience massive benefits of mindfulness training if their meditation practice has four key components Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/shinzen-young-james-gross-519

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Can gratitude be more than just a platitude? Our guest today argues: yes. DaRa Williams is a longtime practitioner and teacher of meditation. She is one of the guiding teachers at Insight Meditation Society, a graduate of the Spirit Rock Insight Meditation Society Teacher Training Program, and also has a clinical mental health private practice in Manhattan. DaRa also says, only semi-facetiously, that she believes gratitude can be considered the fifth Brahma Vihara. In this conversation we talk about: How to start knitting gratitude into your everyday life Whether gratitude is possible when everything sucks How to avoid spiritual bypass The opportunity that suffering brings for happiness How to take our suffering less personally The power of reminding yourself that you are nature And our unconscious fascination with creating difficulty Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dara-williams-295-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- There are all sorts of ways to struggle with getting things done. Maybe you're a procrastinator, maybe you're somebody whose energy flags in the middle of a project, maybe you're too stubborn and don't know when to quit, or maybe you're somebody who sets too many goals and gets burned out. Whatever your situation, we all struggle with motivation. The good news is that there's a whole crew of scientists who study best practices for getting things done, including today's guest, Ayelet Fishbach, PhD. Fishbach is one of the most eminent players in the field. She is the Jeffrey Breakenridge Keller Professor of Behavioral Science and Marketing at the University of Chicago, Booth School of Business. She is also the author of Get It Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation. In this episode we talk about: The crucial first step of setting goals How to pick the right goals for you Whether it's more effective to have a goal that is positive – where you're aiming to achieve something specific – or negative – where you're aiming to stop doing something Whether to-do lists work Whether incentives work Best practices for monitoring your progress The importance of celebrating milestones The importance of negative feedback Why the 10,000 steps per day goal makes motivational sense even though it's been proven to be scientifically arbitrary And how to know when to let go of a goal Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ayelet-fishbach-525

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We're sharing a very special episode from a frequent guest of the show, Esther Perel. In this episode, "Love in War with Esther Perel: Ukraine," you'll hear a couples session led by Esther, between a husband and wife whose family has been torn apart by the war in Ukraine. Through the lens of relationship, you experience both the horrors of war and the relatability of intimate relationships. Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of many books, including Mating In Captivity. She's also the host of the podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How's Work?.

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It is so easy to be pessimistic and, in fact, we are evolutionarily wired towards it with a built in negativity bias. This bias can be super useful, because it keeps us on guard for threats. But like all biases, it can warp the way we see the world. This is why optimism can be incredibly helpful. We're not talking about blind optimism here but more about grounded, realistic and reasonable optimism. Our guest today, Robin Roberts, has come by this skill the hard way. Not only is she one of the boldest of the boldface names in the news business, where she is forced to confront crime, war, and natural disasters on the regular, but she's also come through two very serious bouts of cancer. Roberts is the longtime co-anchor of Good Morning America. She has a new book called, Brighter by the Day: Waking Up to New Hopes and Dreams in which she talks about how she has honed her optimism chops, and how you can, too. In this episode we talk about: How to strengthen your optimism muscle Making "one day, day one" Operationalizing your goals Robin's meditation practice Napping during meditation How she gets enough sleep given her crazy schedule Envisioning the victory Flipping the script so that instead of thinking "what could go wrong?" we think, "what could go right?" Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robin-roberts-516

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Friendship might not necessarily be something you've considered to be an urgent psychological and physiological issue. One thing we explore a lot on the show is that the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life, and sadly, in many ways, it's harder than ever to make and keep friends. With loneliness and disconnection on the rise, our society just wasn't constructed for social connection, and recent data suggests we're in a friendship crisis, with many of us reporting that we have fewer close friendships than ever. Our guest today is Robin Dunbar, an Emeritus Professor of Evolutionary Psychology at Oxford University and the author of numerous books on the development of homo sapiens. Dunbar is perhaps best known for formulating "Dunbar's number," which is a measurement of the number of relationships our brain is capable of maintaining at any one time. He is a world-renowned expert on human relationships, and has a ton of fascinating research findings and practical tips for upping your friendship game. In this conversation, we dive into the science behind human relationships, the upsides and downsides of maintaining friendships on social media, the viability of friendships across gender lines, and what science says you can do to compensate if you feel you are currently lacking in close friendships. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robin-dunbar-372-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Relationships can be tricky. Especially if you find yourself upset with someone, and instead of talking it through, you let it fester until one moment you completely lose it and end up having to apologize. If you've ever felt like you had friction with the people in your life, or that you've been taken for granted, today's episode offers you solid strategies to cope. Sister True Dedication is a Zen Buddhist nun and teacher ordained by the great meditation teacher and author, Thich Nhat Hanh. She edited several of Thich Nhat Hanh's books, including The Art of Living and Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet. She was born in the United Kingdom, studied history and political thought at Cambridge University, and worked for BBC News before ordaining as a nun at the age of 27. In this episode we talk about: The six phrases – or mantras – that Thich Nhat Hanh recommended people use in their relationships Keeping misunderstandings "dust free" Taking action to make sure anger doesn't fester The importance of recognizing that our understanding of the world is always partial Bringing mantras to work How Sister True Dedication went from journalism to the monastery Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sister-true-dedication-514

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- You may remember hearing a massively viral story from a few years ago about a school in Baltimore that gave students meditation, instead of detention. Ali Smith, Atman Smith, and Andres Gonzalez founded the Holistic Life Foundation and are the authors of Let Your Light Shine, which recounts the story of their work helping traumatized children in one of America's most underserved cities, and how mindfulness tools can help children and communities not only survive, but thrive. In this episode we talk about: The story behind their meditation-instead-of-detention initiative Their experience asking principals to give them the most challenging students What it's like working in one of the most violent cities in the world The results from teaching students yoga and meditation How we can apply the lessons they've learned to meditation and life Content Warning: Explicit language. For a clean version of this episode, please listen on the Ten Percent Happier app or at tenpercent.com Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ali-smith-atman-smith-andres-gonzalez-513

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- One of the great perils and problems of our age is that we sometimes become too entrenched in our views and attached to being right. According to guest George Saunders, the antidote is something he calls "holy befuddlement." George Saunders is the author of eleven books, including Lincoln in the Bardo, which won the 2017 Man Booker Prize for best work of fiction in English. His most recent book, Liberation Day, is a collection of short stories that explore the ideas of power, ethics, and justice, cutting to the heart of what it means to live in community with our fellow humans. In this episode we talk about: How George Saunders creates "holy befuddlement" in himself and in his readers How shaving down dogmatism can help us be, in his words, less of a "turd" How to deal with heightened expectations we might have of ourselves Healthy ways to enjoy praise What it looks like to cultivate a relationship with our self, to the extent that the self exists The importance of moral ambiguity in his work The impact of meditating – or not meditating – on our creative work And forgiveness and coming up short Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/george-saunders-511

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It might be hard to find a more annoying cliché than self-love; it can seem empty and inactionable. And even if you could make it work, I think many of us suspect it would lead to complacent resignation or unbridled narcissism. But there is an enormous amount of evidence that self-love, or as the scientists call it, self-compassion, can make you more effective in reaching your goals as well as lead to better relationships with everybody around you. On today's show, the great meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg will walk us through the idea that love— both self-love and other love— is a skill that can be cultivated with massively positive impacts. Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is one of the first to bring mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture over 45 years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers. Sharon is co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, and the author of twelve books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindness. Her forthcoming release, Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Openness and Freedom, is set for release in April of 2023 from Flatiron Books. Her podcast, The Metta Hour, has amassed five million downloads and features interviews with thought leaders from the mindfulness movement and beyond. This episode comes out in conjunction with Dan Harris' recent TED Talk on self-love. You can watch the full talk here. In this episode we talk about: The definition of self-hatred and its predominance in the West The real practical benefits of self-compassion Whether there is a difference between self-compassion and self-love Why many people resist the idea of self-love The distinction between empathy and compassion and how they work together in Buddhism How to have lovingkindness for somebody who doesn't feel we have the right to exist Reclaiming words like love and happiness And how generosity makes us more whole Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sharon-salzberg-510

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Are you interested in suffering less? Today's guest, Dharma teacher Pascal Auclair, is going to talk about seven very specific and practical ways to train your mind for reduced suffering by exploring a Buddhist list called the seven factors of awakening, which is a part of the fourth foundation of mindfulness. We've talked about a bunch of Buddhist lists on the show before, but this is one of the happiest of all the lists to explore. Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, sitting retreats in Asia and America. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield, who have both been previous guests on this show. Pascal is now a core teacher at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts. He is also a co-founder of True North Insight and one of its guiding teachers. This episode is the fifth and final installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness. In this episode we talk about: The movement from difficult states of mind to more beneficial and helpful states of mind How the 7 factors can help you create your "best mind" The difference between the "energizing" and "calming" factors How to practically apply these factors to your daily life And specifically how the seven factors can improve your relationships Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pascal-auclair-508

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Thoughts are not your enemy in meditation. If you're getting distracted while you meditate, that's not necessarily a problem. Thoughts are natural. They're always going to come. The point is not to clear the mind and to magically eradicate all thinking, the point is to have a different relationship to your thoughts. When we're not mindful of our thoughts, they march into the room, tell us what to do, and we act them out, reflexively, habitually and automatically— like puppets on a string. Our guest today, Dharma teacher Tuere Sala, is going to talk about how to cut the strings of what can often be a malevolent puppeteer. Sala is a Guiding Teacher at Seattle Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock Retreat Center. She's a former prosecutor who has practiced Vipassana meditation for over 30 years and is especially focused on bringing the dharma to nontraditional places. She is a strong advocate for practitioners living with high stress, past trauma and difficulties sitting still. In this episode we talk about: Why we get caught in our thinking Understanding that our thoughts are not who we are How to direct our attention away from negative thoughts How the idea of permanency causes suffering Using thinking itself as the object of our meditation Noticing mind states Relative reality vs. ultimate reality The eight states of mind and their felt sense in the body And Sala's definition of true liberation Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tuere-sala-510

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The Buddha was an inveterate list-maker who gave us easy to remember checklists to help us do life better. One of the handiest lists the Buddha made was called the five hindrances, which is a part of the fourth foundation of mindfulness. This list outlines the five things that mess us up when we're trying to meditate — or, in fact, when we're trying to do anything. If you've got issues right now, odds are pretty high that you are in the throes of one of the hindrances. The excellent news is that the Buddha not only made a taxonomy of the hindrances but also a long list of antidotes. We're going to run through all of this today with Bonnie Duran, a great dharma teacher who is making her second appearance on the show. Duran is a teacher and member of the Teachers Council at Spirit Rock Meditation Center and Director of the Center for Indigenous Health Research at the University of Washington's Indigenous Wellness Research Institute. She combines extensive research and practice of Buddhism with her deep understanding of indigenous spiritual practices. This episode is the fourth installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness. In this episode we talk about: How the five hindrances manifest in our daily lives Using the RAIN technique to investigate the 5 hindrances Whether there is any type of desire that is helpful Cultivating a sky-like attitude How to not water the seeds of negativity The similarities between Indigenous beliefs and what the Buddha taught How body scans can be an antidote to sleepiness And whether you can ever uproot the hindrances entirely Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/bonnie-duran-505

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Most of us come into the world with the suspicion that we are the center of the universe. This self-preoccupation is natural, but it can often lead to unhappiness in the form of rumination, wallowing, comparison, etc. Our guest today, author Karen Armstrong, has a clear proposal for how we can stop living what she calls "artificial" lives and shave down our inborn self-centeredness. Not for nothing, she believes her proposal has the added benefit of perhaps helping to save the planet. Armstrong is a former nun who has become one of the world's leading thinkers on religion (particularly the monotheistic ones). She has written such bestsellers as: A History of God: The 4,000-Year Quest of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, The Battle for God, Islam: A Short History, and Buddha. Her latest book is called Sacred Nature: Restoring Our Ancient Bond with the Natural World. In this episode we talk about: Practices you can try for using nature as a way to make yourself happier How Armstrong conceives of God at this point in her life The benefits of the Confucian practice of "quiet sitting" How her time as a nun paradoxically made her more self-preoccupied rather than less And her definition of holiness Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/karen-armstrong-504

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers --- Ever have that experience where you catch yourself in a moment of anger, judgmentalism or fear? And, with a wince, immediately tell yourself a whole story about what kind of person you are? How do you stop this from happening or cut it short once it's already begun? The answer? Mindfulness or having the basic self-awareness to see what kind of mental states are arising so that you are not owned them. To use a technical Buddhist term this is called, "mindfulness of mind." It's the ability to see your mind states without taking them personally and it comes from one of the Buddha's most famous lists called the four foundations of mindfulness. Today we are going to learn about the whys and wherefores of mindfulness of mind from one of the most esteemed living Buddhist scholars, Bhikkhu Bodhi. Bodhi is a monk, originally from NYC. He is a prolific translator, scholar, and author of books on the Buddha's teachings. He is also President of the Buddhist Association of the United States and co-founder and Chairperson of the Board of Buddhist Global Relief. This episode is the third installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness. In this episode we talk about: The historical backdrop of the four foundations of mindfulness What exactly the Buddha meant by "mindfulness of mind" How we can know whether or not we are being mindful How not to let our mindfulness become a sort of compulsive internal nanny state Practical instructions for the third foundation (given that the Buddha never actually gave them) And Bhikkhu Bodhi's view that we should not be mindfulness zealots Photo Credit: Hsiao Ying Chang (史曉瑛） Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/bhikkhu-bodhi-502

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today we're talking about an often overlooked source of suffering— housework. There are so many ways in which housework can be a bummer. Maybe we're feeling guilty about the fact that our place is always a mess. Maybe we're driving ourselves crazy with obsessive cleaning. Maybe we have relatives who are overly critical about the state of affairs in our home. Maybe gender politics with our spouses and partners is a source of strife. Our guest today, KC Davis, helps deconstruct these often rigid and daunting cultural norms that surround the concept of domestic bliss. As a self-styled anti-perfectionist, Davis has garnered a huge audience on TikTok with more than 1 million followers. She has also written the book, How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing. On today's show, she offers a ton of practical tips that are rooted in self compassion and the dogged determination not to use shame as a motivator when it comes to our domestic lives. In this episode we talk about: One of KC's slogans,"You don't exist to serve your space, your space exists to serve you" The difference between what's "normal" and what's "functional". For example, why that pile of laundry on the floor is just fine if it works for you Why it's important to think of house work as morally neutral. For example, why doing dishes has nothing to do with you being a good or bad person Why she doesn't believe laziness exists The power of what she calls "category cleaning" Breaking the clean/not clean binary And achieving equitable division of labor around the house Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kc-davis-501

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- In this previously released episode, Malcolm Gladwell responds to backlash he received over his belief that working in an office—and the collaborative creative environment it can offer—is in your best interest (and in the interest of others). We also dive deep into some of the important themes featured in the seventh season of his podcast Revisionist History, including: kindness, generosity, and sacrifice. And, Dan and Gladwell share their biggest mistakes as journalists. Malcolm Gladwell is the president and co-founder of Pushkin Industries, and the author of six New York Times bestselling books including The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, David and Goliath, and Talking to Strangers. He's also the host of the new Pushkin podcast Legacy of Speed. In this episode we talk about: The backlash Malcolm faced from his work from home comments Pushing the noise aside when it comes to social media Lessons in kindness from a recent Revisionist History episode The importance of flow states How he personally relaxes Why people should have a lifelong pursuit or practice What he thinks now about his famous 10,000 hours argument Why we need to engage and investigate the views of others to be morally alert as human beings His biggest journalistic mistake Content Warning: Brief mention of eating disorders. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/malcolm-gladwell-486

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Is it possible to be happy no matter what happens? Today we're going right to the source of what makes us unhappy to learn how to disarm and disable potential suffering before it owns us. Everything that comes up in our mind is either pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In other words, with everything we experience, we either want it, don't want it, or we don't care. In Buddhism, this is called "feeling tones" or "vedana" and it is known as the second foundation of mindfulness in the Buddha's comprehensive list. So why does this matter? Because if you are unaware of the pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral tones, then you are being controlled by them. Similarly, if you are unaware that certain people or things provoke aversion, then you can unthinkingly avoid or even be aggressive towards them. In this way, we can be like puppets on a string— just yanked around by greed, hatred, and numbness. Today's guest, dharma teacher Christina Feldman, is going to drill down on this embarkation point for our suffering, zap it with mindfulness and help us understand how we don't have to live like puppets on a string. Feldman began teaching in the west in the seventies after spending years in Asia studying Buddhist meditation. She is a co-founder of Gaia House, a retreat center in the UK, and has also served as a guiding teacher at Insight Meditation Society beginning in its early days. More recently, she is a co-founder of Bodhi College, which is dedicated to the study and practice of the early teachings of the Buddha. She is the author of a book called, Boundless Heart: The Buddha's Path of Kindness, Compassion, Joy, and Equanimity, and co-author of Mindfulness: Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Psychology. This episode is the second installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness. In this episode we talk about: Why vedana is often called, "the ruler of consciousness" or "the king, or the queen of consciousness" How to practice with vedana, and the benefits thereof Her lovely description of the Buddha as being very focused on understanding "the architecture of distress and unhappiness" Her contention that unhappiness is not a life sentence. Her definition of genuine happiness What she means by the power of "giving greater authority to intentionality, rather than to mood or story" And her personal practice of setting life intentions every year Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/christina-feldman-500

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Jessica Nordell is a science and culture journalist who has written for the Atlantic and the New York Times. She earned a B.A. in physics from Harvard and an M.F.A. in poetry from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Her new book is called The End of Bias, A Beginning: The Science and Practice of Overcoming Unconscious Bias. Photo Credit: Leslie Plesser In this episode we talk about: Why humans have biases What happens physiologically when biases are challenged Why some of the most popular personal and institutional strategies for confronting biases do not work The role that mindfulness and loving-kindness can play in reducing bias Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jessica-nordell-rerun

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It's such a common desire to get out of our heads — to escape the nonstop, mostly self-referential chatter, the habitual storylines, the ancient resentments and the compulsive self-criticism. Many of us take elaborate and even drastic measures in this regard like self-medication, shopping, tech addiction, and so on. But there's a much healthier option that is readily and perpetually available. In fact, we're dragging it around with us all the time, the body. The Buddha is said to have laid out four ways to be mindful. In other words, to be awake to whatever is happening right now. The first of these four foundations of mindfulness is mindfulness of the body and todays' guest, meditation teacher Dawn Mauricio, will walk us through the practical applications of this foundation. Mauricio has been meditating since 2005 and is a graduate of Spirit Rock's four-year teacher training program. She is also the author of the book, Mindfulness Meditation for Beginners: 50 Meditations to Practice Awareness, Acceptance, and Peace. Dawn's been on the show before to talk about how to handle difficult people. This episode is the first installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness. In this episode we talk about: What it actually means to get out of your head and into your body and all of the practical ways to get there How strong emotions and seductive technology can work against us And what to do when being aware of your body might actually not be the best thing for you Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dawn-mauricio-498

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Emotionally immature people (EIP's) are hard to avoid and most of us, if not all of us, have to deal with them at some point in our lives. These interactions can range from mildly annoying to genuinely traumatic, especially if the emotionally immature people in question are our own parents, which is true for an awful lot of us. Today's guest, clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson, gives advice for dealing with emotionally immature people, whether they're your parents or not. She has written a sleeper hit book on the subject called, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents. In this episode we talk about: The signs of emotional immaturity Whether or not I'm emotionally immature What happens to children who are raised by emotionally immature parents, including their signature coping strategies Why adult children of EIP's turn to healing fantasies, and how to let them go How to cope with emotionally immature parents as an adult What role compassion should and should not play in your relationship with EIP's How to heal Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lindsay-gibson-497

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- In the last couple of years, many people have been extolling the virtues of something called the "Enneagram" but—what the hell is it? On today's show, longtime dharma teacher, Susan Piver, is here to demystify it. As she explains, the Enneagram is a tool that allows people to figure out their personality type and says it has been one of, if not the most important, tool in her personal development. Piver has been a student of Buddhism since 1995, graduated from a Buddhist seminary in 2004 and was authorized to teach meditation in 2005. In 2012, she founded The Open Heart Project— the world's largest online-only meditation center. She's written ten books including her latest called The Buddhist Enneagram: Nine Paths to Warriorship. In this episode we talk about: What the Enneagram is and why Piver finds it so helpful What she means by warriorship The nine personality types, which she views as maps of our blind spots Why, unlike other personality systems, there is no test for the Enneagram (at least in Susan's view) And we talk about why Susan thinks the Enneagram and Buddhism mix so well even though on first blush it would seem to contradict the dharmic emphasis on the self being an illusion Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-piver-495

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Most of us talk all day long. We speak to each other, we type at each other, and of course, we talk to ourselves internally. Talking and listening is a key part of what it means to be human and It's very hard to be a successful person if you can't communicate your ideas and listen to and understand other people. Today's guests, Mudita Nisker and Dan Clurman, are here to explain some very simple and easy to understand communication skills that can transform your life. Their new book, Let's Talk: An Essential Guide to Skillful Communication concisely summarizes their teachings and they're coming on the show today to walk us through some of the key learnings from this book. Over the past thirty years Nisker and Clurman have provided communication training to individuals and organizations in the private, public, government, and nonprofit sectors. They have also led workshops, and trained staff at leading mindfulness centers such as Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Clurman is a communication coach and professor in the Ageno School of Business at Golden Gate University in San Francisco. Nisker is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. In this episode we talk about: Talking vs. listening Content vs. process The power of saying nothing at all Reflective listening The Buddhist concept of Right Speech Content goals vs. relationship goals "I" language Provisional language Stating positive intentions Framing And Flooding vs. chunking You can read an excerpt of the book, Let's Talk: An Essential Guide to Skillful Communication if you subscribe to our TPH newsletter, which comes out every Sunday. And you can subscribe if you go to: tenpercent.com/newsletter. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dan-clurman-and-mudita-nisker-494

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- At times, self-improvement can seem like a never-ending hallway filled with limitless shame and insufficiency. So when something as simple as the breath falls into this category, it seems only natural to meet that news with some resistance. Our guest today, James Nestor argues that many of us, of all things, are breathing incorrectly but that by fixing our breathing, it can help with both physical and psychological ailments. Nestor is a science journalist who wrote a book called, Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, which spent 18 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and was translated into more than 35 languages. In this episode we talk about: How Nestor got interested in breathing in the first place Why we are the worst breathers in the animal kingdom The importance of posture The deleterious effects of mouth breathing Why we need to chew more The relationship between breathing and anxiety The relationship between breathing and sleep And we dive into a variety of breathing exercises Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/james-nestor-492

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Most of us worry about money sometimes, but what if we changed the way we thought about our relationship to finances? Today's guest, William MacAskill, offers a framework in which to do just that. He calls it effective altruism. One of the core arguments of effective altruism is that we all ought to consider giving away a significant chunk of our income because we know, to a mathematical near certainty, that several thousand dollars could save a life. Today we're going to talk about the whys and wherefores of effective altruism. This includes how to get started on a very manageable and doable level (which does not require you to give away most of your income), and the benefits this practice has on both the world and your own psyche. MacAskill is an associate professor of philosophy at Oxford University and one of the founders of the effective altruism movement. He has a new book out called, What We Owe the Future, where he makes a case for longtermism, a term used to describe developing the mental habit of thinking about the welfare of future generations. In this episode we talk about: Effective altruism Whether humans are really wired to consider future generations Practical tips for thinking and acting on longtermism His argument for having children And his somewhat surprising take on how good our future could be if we play our cards right Podcast listeners can get 50% off What We Owe the Future using the code WWOTF50 at Bookshop.org. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/william-macaskill-491

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- In this episode from our archives, psychologist Kelly McGonigal dives into her book The Joy of Movement and practical steps on how to develop healthy habits. Kelly McGonigal, PhD, is a health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University, and a leading expert in the new field of "science-help." She is passionate about translating cutting-edge research from psychology, neuroscience, and medicine into practical strategies for health, happiness, and personal success. She is the author of The Joy of Movement, The Willpower Instinct, and The Upside of Stress. In this conversation we talk about: Why her book is a love letter to movement and human nature The science behind the runner's high Why she wants to change the conversation around movement Why shame and self-criticism is disempowering and not motivating The value of setting intentions How Kelly has used psychology and meditation to relieve her own pain and suffering And what Tonglen meditation is — and its impact on her life Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kelly-mcgonigal-rerun

Since the start of COVID-19, more people are working from home, and with that, more people have strong opinions about whether or not it's the best route to take. In today's episode, Malcolm Gladwell responds to recent backlash over why he believes that working in an office—and the collaborative creative environment it can offer—is in your best interest (and in the interest of others). We also dive deep into some of the important themes featured in the seventh season of his podcast Revisionist History, including: kindness, generosity, and sacrifice. And, Dan and Gladwell share their biggest mistakes as journalists. Malcolm Gladwell is the president and co-founder of Pushkin Industries, and the author of six New York Times bestselling books including The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, David and Goliath, and Talking to Strangers. He's also the host of the new Pushkin podcast Legacy of Speed. In this episode we talk about: The backlash Malcolm faced from his work from home comments Pushing the noise aside when it comes to social media Lessons in kindness from a recent Revisionist History episode The importance of flow states How he personally relaxes Why people should have a lifelong pursuit or practice What he thinks now about his famous 10,000 hours argument Why we need to engage and investigate the views of others to be morally alert as human beings His biggest journalistic mistake Content Warning: Brief mention of eating disorders. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/malcolm-gladwell-486

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Today's episode looks at one of the hardest Buddhist principles to grasp— the notion that the self is an illusion. Many people get stuck on the misunderstanding that they don't exist. They look in the mirror and say, "Of course I exist. I'm right there." And that's true, you do exist, but just not in the way you think you do. Today's guest, Jay Garfield explores this notion by arguing that you are indeed a person just not a self— a principle that can simultaneously feel both imponderable and liberating. Jay Garfield is the Doris Silbert Professor in the Humanities and Professor of Philosophy, Logic, and Buddhist Studies at Smith College and a visiting professor of Buddhist philosophy at Harvard Divinity School. He is the Author of multiple books, including his latest, which is called, Losing Ourselves: Learning to Live without a Self. In this episode we talk about: The difference between a person and a self The problems with being taken by the illusion of selfhood Why he believes the illusion of self is not an evolutionary design flaw The many benefits of "losing ourselves" How to actually lose ourselves The concept of Interconnection His definition of real happiness The difference between pain and suffering and how to have the former without the latter Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jay-garfield-487

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The idea of loving people no matter what— no matter how obnoxious or unacceptable their behavior is can sound simultaneously treacly and downright impossible. But today's guest Father Gregory Boyle talks about the practicality of this idea by showing how the concept of loving no matter what can be used as a tool— not to condone bad behavior but to help see people as doing their best, no matter how unskillfully. Father Gregory Boyle is a Jesuit priest who founded a remarkable organization called Homeboy Industries, which is the largest gang intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world. He has a new book out called, The Whole Language: The Power of Extravagant Tenderness. In this episode we talk about: How Homeboy Industries began 34 years ago Boyle's practices for working with stress What he means when he says you have to put death in its place Motivating people through joy rather than admonition How to catch yourself when you're about to demonize or be judgmental How to set boundaries How to dole out consequences without closing the doors to anybody And we talk about Father Boyle's quite expansive and inclusive notion of God Content warnings: There are mentions of sensitive topics including, sexual trauma, violence, drug abuse and domestic abuse. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/father-gregory-boyle-486