yourmomshousepodcast

<p>There's a very upset lady in an internet chat room that says a lot of things we can relate to. She's fired up that someone called her the R word and she has a new and exciting version of English to battle back. </p> <p>PLUS, Age Gap Love is our new obsession. It's a show that follows couples who have way too many years in between them and yes, these people are gross. Old dudes, old ladies, just old, old, old. Yuck! Imagine someone loving your grandparents. Well, that's not the best way of putting it. Imagine dating someone that looks like your grandparents. Done vomiting? We have more.</p> <p>AND friend of the show, Tom Rhodes is back after too many years away. He's hilarious and full of travel tales and so much more. Pull your international jeans way up!</p> <p>Thanks to our sponsors: </p> <p>Brooklinen.com Promo code: MOM</p> <p>Stamps.com Promo code: MOM</p> <p>SaatvaMattress.com</p> <p>LoomandLeaf.com </p>

<p>If you want to go on a date with a nice lady follow the lead of this episodes opening clip - offer a lady money to have a family with you. </p> <p>Plus, the golden duo of comedy joins us in studio. The Sklar bros also known as the Brothers Sklar put it down. Hilarious guys who are doing a LOT is all you need to know. They are also here to talk about their new documentary, Poop Talk, which as you can imagine, is right up our lane. Did the bros involve Tom and Tina in their new doc? You'll just have to listen. </p> <p>And we ask all kinds of twin questions and these guys are here for it. Lots and lots of laughs with two great comics. </p>

<div>Get your power tools and sex toys ready for a fun, informative episode!</div> <p>The Jeans are high and tight with this one. We examine DPC's and what REALLY counts. Christina has a recent one that she shares. Do you think it should be verified?</p> <p>Tommy has high standards for Starbucks. Just like his dad does for McDonald's. Is he turning into Top Dog? </p> <p>Plus Blueban labels a file that makes the mommies laugh so hard we almost had to stop recording. </p>

<p>J-J-J-Jean Unit!</p> <p>We found some adult stars who share some pretty gnarly stories about working in their industry and shooting their "Scenes." </p> <p>PLUS Tommy gives us the scoop on his "Scenes." Will he shoot DP's? Boy/girl? Boy/Boy/Girl? We get into all the details of his dream coming true. </p> <p>AND we go further into Love After LockUp. One of the greatest terrible shows of all time. </p> <p>AND just when we thought a listener prank call couldn't be topped, a new Gold Standard is set in this episode. It's totally AMAZE. </p> <p> </p>

<p>This week Jean and Jean get together to Meow Down. Here's a cool thing we explore today: God + Swinging. It's pretty neat if you're willing to listen while a stranger has sex with you and your spouse. Just try it. Come on!</p> <p>Plus, we're ALL IN on Love after Lock Up and you should be to. You should also reach out to a felon right now (for a relationship!). </p> <p>AND, one of your made an amazing call posing as Peyton Lafferty. </p> <p>This episode is AMAZE!</p> <p> </p> <p>Please support today's sponsors: </p> <p>ForHim.com/house</p> <p>Stamps.com Code Word: MOM</p> <p>Brooklinen.com Code Word: MOM</p> <p> </p>

<p>He's tall, he's (very) young (looking) and he's coming for that title. Johnny Pemberton is in studio and you will find it SO amaze how well he can do and decipher accents. </p> <p>Semen. We know it's great for your skin. Is it also super nutritious? Try it out!</p> <p>AND we may have found a new Burp Champ. Turn the volume WAY UP!</p> <p> </p> <p>Show support by visiting our sponsors: </p> <p>ZipRecruiter.com/house</p> <p>SaatvaMattress.com</p> <p>SquareSpace.com CODE: MOM</p> <p>RXBAR.com/momshouse CODE: MOMSHOUSE</p>

<p>It's just Jean and Jean on this one. Your mother and I hang out and have the fun we always have when you're not around.</p> <p>Put your triple D swingers in a supportive bra, pull you jeans up and enjoy. </p>

<p>The man, the myth, the Maron. One of our all time faves is finally in the building. If you know and love podcasting, especially the kind involving comedians, you know Marc Maron. His wildly successful podcast WTF inspired a television series and hundreds of copycats to do what he has mastered. </p> <p>He's funny, insightful, charming - look, we love him. So many laughs in this one with Would You Rather's, Fart Logic and so much more. </p> <p> </p>

<p>Oh my goodness, Jean. We don't really think this episode needs a description. The great Bill Burr joins us and Hen has some amazing, hilarious thoughts, just like you thought he would. </p> <p>We discuss who is a bigger psycho, Billy or Tommy. </p> <p>PLUS, will Bill stop gender identifying his child? We hope so. </p> <p>AND, will Bill laugh at a man getting crushed by a car? We have the footage.</p> <p> </p>

<p>Looks like some Ball Hogs are willing to share their secrets! We are willing to listen!</p> <p>We found a great new rapper and get this, he's using the name TOP DOG to work on his rhymes. Hope you end up supporting him. </p> <p>PLUS - the reviews are in! People are loving DISGRACEFUL on Netflix. Everyone. 100% of everyone across the board. Not one negative review. We'll go over a few. </p> <p>Pull your jeans up. </p>

<p>Women, it's time to reclaim your place in the world and also it's time to do something gross. Luckily we found someone who was willing to do both. </p> <p>Also, are YOU a ball hog? Are you sure. Maybe you should Try it Out?</p> <p>The great Paul Gilmartin of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast joins us for some juvenile fun. We read emails, break down clips and basically act like 6th graders with him and we can't wait to do it again. </p>

<p>We like foreigners and we like cursing. When foreigners curse? Magical. </p> <p>Plus, you have SERIOUS questions about Blind people and their standards, twin girls and their periods and now peeing is brought into the equation - does it affect farts??</p> <p>Tommy's parents are about to retire. Wait until you hear about Top Dog's newly crushed adventure.</p> <p>And don't forget to check out DISGRACEFUL - Tom's new 1 hour special. It begins streaming worldwide on NETFLIX January 12. </p>

<p>Ya'll know what it is. If you gotta brown you might as well go to where the brown ends up anyway, right? One man already figured that out and is talking to us from a gutter! </p> <p>Plus, how cool is being a virgin? How cool is it to RECLAIM your virginity? Hold up, we are bundling ourselves in blankets from how cool the previous two questions are. </p> <p>No more than 2 people should wear white if three people are hanging out together. That is an Australian rule that we explore.</p> <p>AND hilarious comic, podcaster and all around great guy, Josh Wolf joins us on the podcast today. </p> <p>Pull your jeans up and enjoy this one. </p>

<p>J-J-J-Jeans Unite!</p> <p>As we wrap up another year of tightly woven denim we want to give thanks to you, the little mommy. Hope you have a great holiday filled with love and rectal touches. </p> <p>Here we have the last live show we did at the Irvine Improv a little while back. </p> <p>Thank you all for being the best fans anyone could ever want. </p> <p>We would fart in every one of your stockings if we could. </p> <p> </p>

<p>After years of podcasting and hundreds of shows we thought, "How about a little intelligence on this show for a change? How about...a Doctor?"</p> <p>Luckily for all of us Dr Drew agreed (before knowing what our show is about) to come on and no description can do it justice. </p> <p>He shared stories about his life and let us know what he thought about the many clips we play on this show. </p> <p>All we can say is, we wish it never ended. </p>

<p>Oh s**t, bro! The Weasel is in the house. The wiser weasel has some great advice and hilarious stories from his days as an MTV VJ and international movie star. </p> <p>Plus we get in to whether or not FARTS are assault (they are) and if Tom can sue Tina (He can). </p> <p>You looking for free rent? Come over to my house and beat me, pee on me. Try it out. </p>

<p>A few years back Tommy went to Asia (voluntarily, tho under some duress) and did stand up with some great guys: Chad Daniels, Pete Lee and the guest of this episode, J. Elvis Weinstein. The trip was filmed for a documentary that is available NOW. Please check out I NEED YOU TO KILL on itunes, Amazon or wherever you pay to buy and rent movies. </p> <p>J. Elvis Weinstein is a comedian, writer, director and co-host of his own podcast, Thought Spiral with Andy Kindler. </p> <p>This episode is full of laughs and love. Get all up in there like it's the night before your 70th birthday. </p>

<p>This is as good as it gets. Joey Coco Diaz is in the building. </p> <p>This lovable, fiery felon is sure to make you laugh as you sit by the fire and ask your mom if she will 69 your dad on his 70th birthday. </p> <p>By the way, a bunch of those came in and they are HILARIOUS. </p> <p>PLUS we talk CATS, Dad Boners and we read your emails. </p> <p> </p> <p>Say No More, just listen, JEAN. </p>

<p>Jeans Within! Jeans Within! </p> <p>Looks like College Football isn't immune to the Jeans within your heart. Nick Saban has the full commentary. </p> <p>PLUS, we got more tracks for you: Machines and She's Retarded - all different styles that you, the listener submitted. </p> <p>AND we have a transracial woman, well, she sure sounds like one. What do you think? </p> <p>Charles Manson is dead! John Daly hates water! and "Do you 69 at 69"??</p> <p>Get into it, Jeans. </p> <p> </p>

<p>When the mommies prank any media outlet with Mommy lingo we LOVE IT! Get em, jean!</p> <p>Amazingly, someone else hates Puking as much as Tina and Tina has some advice. Equally as astonishing, Adam Carolla is on the same page as Tina with...showering?!</p> <p>PLUS, we have She's Retarded remixes, Louie CK talk, profane coaches with kids and MORE!!</p>

<p>The Water GOD is back in the building. Before we get to more hydrating satisfaction we have some GOOD stuff for you. </p> <p>And nothing kicks things off like diarrhea. Public diarrhea. Have you ever just, you know, gone. In plain view. I'd like to hear about it. </p> <p>We have MORE Machines Within and some NEW She's Retarded tracks. </p> <p>Grab a bottle of mineral water and ENJOY!</p>

<p>Yo! Tommy got a Lambo wit the brains blown out! Naw, he didn't. But he made Bert and Ari think he did and that was worth every penny.</p> <p>We give you the full scoop on that PLUS we find a good potential roommate for you. All you need is a strong sex drive and, well, we should just let him explain. Seems like a nice guy. </p> <p>We also have the KING farting on his dog. Is this okay? And Steven Seagal isn't just the worst actor he MIGHT be an equally bad person. Lets explore!</p> <p>MACHINES WITHIN!!</p>

<p>The great Greg Fitzsimmons is here! You know his book, his podcast, his radio show and his stand up. He's absolutely one of our favorites and he will be one of yours if you listen to this episode. Lots of crazy, lots of funny, Machines Within and of course a Dental Update.</p>

<p>If you want to get really horny and you're having trouble getting there we've got the secret formula for you (okay it involves Benadryl). But we're not telling you how many (unless you listen to the episode). </p> <p>Plus, Machines Within probably won over your heart last week. This week, it's a chart-toppin banger thanks to the many musically inclined mommy's out there. </p> <p>And just when you thought Mr. Rub Rub Rub only cared about the fellas, we dig deeper into the SAME interview only to discover he has some sage advice for the ladies as well. </p> <p>Put in your earbuds and let this one rip. It's simply Jeanstastic!</p>

<p>This is one of the most fun Pomcasts we've done in a while and it's just Jean and I. </p> <p>We do what we do best - make fun of people. From the c*m huggers to the people who struggle to string together a sentence we simply don't hold back. </p> <p>When a juggalo dreams of writing a new song, well, DJ Dadmouth helps make that dream come true - IN THE MOMENT. Is there a hit on our hands? </p> <p>Don't forget to watch CP's new special, Mother Inferior only on NETFLIX!</p> <p> </p>

<p>What does 338 pounds of alcohol free fun sound like? Download this podcast to find out. We had to remove a wall on our home so the crane could lift him up and place him in his seat, but we couldn't be happier we did it. Enormous, but fun comedian Burnt Khrysler is in studio for a very real very honest and very funny conversation. </p> <p>Seriously though, Bert is the best and we love him. This is one of our favorite episodes ever. </p>

<p>If you had 3 foot long nails how could you wipe your bum? Luckily we have a detailed example from a gross person. </p> <p>The great Tom Papa joins us for some good ol' making fun of people get down. </p> <p>We have your emails and they are very offensive - thank you for sending them. </p> <p>PLUS, if you're white and you get a great tan, are you now black? One completely insane person thinks so. </p> <p>Pull those jeans up!</p>

<p>If you go on a run and you gotta make a brown is that really such a bad thing? One lady in Colorado Springs might do in on your lawn in front of your family! NEATO!</p> <p>Tommy shot a special in Denver over the weekend. We recap the festivities for you PLUS now Tina is the one with sick jeans. </p> <p>Dad boner with a snow blower? Yes.</p> <p>We have great emails from you and more.</p> <p> </p>

<p>When you make a Big Brown do you flush it down? Here at YMH we show it proudly. Our Big Brown can even talk - it's wild. </p> <p>We have stinky Vajees and how to detect them, we have surprise Big D's and obvious ones too - Hello, Takeo Spikes!</p> <p>All around good fun with our bud, Brendan Schaub. </p> <p>Plus a DENTAL UPDATE and a whole lot more. </p>

<p>This is how it's done. The South Florida mom's came out in full force and we had the best time. </p> <p>We hope you enjoy this live episode that featured Fill Her Ups, Would You Rather's and so much more. </p> <p>Make sure you put on sunblock under your jeans before you listen to this one, Jean. It was after all recorded in Breast Balls Beach, Florida. </p>

<p>Uh oh, it's time to get your act together. Your baby's father, The Concierge, is in the building. If you don't know, now you do. Matt Fulchiron AKA The Full Charge is back and in top form. </p> <p>We break it down. Everything. </p> <p>How embarrassed would you be if you made poo in someone's bed? We found someone that doesn't seem that mad.</p> <p>Are all women Ho's in the context that this man explains?</p> <p>is digital Black Face a thing? I don't know, but we sure are probably guilty. Also, it's not a thing. </p> <p>Sit back, relax and let this one flow. </p>

<p>If you're ever attacked you should consider biting your attacker below the waist! But only after you seduce him into thinking you're into him sexually. We recommend an hour or more to really trick them!</p> <p>Plus, Why are some farts hot? Why do those smell more? </p> <p>AND are you willing to wait in line to eat somewhere good? No thanks, Jean. </p> <p>When you visit Singapore keep an eye out for an older, gay, how you say, Gentleman. He knows what he wants and it's a lot. </p> <p>Put pee in your butt because we just found out it could solve this country's problems. </p>

<p>What if you wipe yourself with toilet water to save paper but you flush a bunch so you're actually wasting water? Can you really say you care about the environment? Not sure, but you're definitely probably vegan.</p> <p>Plus, when blind people dream do they "see" what we do? Only twins with different sized penis can help us answer these important questions. </p> <p>We get the stories the OTHER podcasts choose to ignore. F*** you in your a**? We'll be right there. </p>

<p>What if it's only smells, but also it turns you on? Is that okay?</p> <p>What kind of smells get your engine going? Ladies, we're talking to you. </p> <p>PLUS, when Dad Boners are into animals and by animals we mean bees, it's borderline disturbing. </p> <p>AND the great Ms. Pat is back for amazing, honest and absolutely hilarious conversation. Her new book, RABBIT: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MS PAT goes on sale August 22nd. Be sure to pick up a copy of this incredible book. </p>

<p>We want you guys to orgasm all the time, even when you hug someone or shake their hand or just stand up. That's our mission and we hope this episode guides you to the forbidden place where we live. </p> <p>We have some great listener emails this episode PLUS a dad boner that gives Canadian highway dad a run for his money. </p> <p>And a white girl that uses BIG WORDS prompts a debate - Do you ever accept white people doing that? </p> <p>Wait til you hear Kim Ahn and Mr. Rub Rub Rub together. </p>

<p>Thank God for feminists like Roman who are out there every day fighting the good fight. He's out in the streets encouraging women to fart in his face. If it weren't for guys like him, would ladies even know they could fart???</p> <p>Plus, TOP DOG gets on a call to go over a recent "ACCIDENT." </p> <p>Did you knoe R Kelly actually wanted to marry his mom? </p> <p>AND the great YOSHI joins once again for more of his hilarious travel tales. </p>

<p>Some women associate giving birth with PAIN. Are they dumb? Maybe they just haven't been taught yet. They SHOULD be having orgasms. That's what childbirth is all about. </p> <p>PLUS, could Tommy's REAL mom be the fart mistress we've all wanted? </p> <p>AND special guest Brent Weinbach joins us. </p> <p>You wanna talk some s**t?</p>

<p>When Tommy boy arrived in Los Angeles with hope in his eyes, it was Sam Tripoli who made Tom sit on the casting couch and earn his stage time thru butt spreads and oral favors. Kidding! That's a dream (for both guys). </p> <p>Sam Tripoli is a tornado on stage and off. Check out his new double album, The Diabolical and his numerous podcasts, including Punch Drunk and his new conspiracy theory podcast, Tin Foil Hat. </p> <p>We go hard on this one and big laughs are had the whole way around. </p>

<p>We have found a secret that even Wikileaks couldn't get. There is a man who may or may not be Ryan Sickler that gave a chocolate kiss to Hillary Clinton and we have the DETAILS!</p> <p>You are NOT ready. </p> <p>PLUS, would any of you like to come over for moose soup later? What if we smoked two packs a day and slept with the whole village? Okay, see you at 7!</p> <p>Two hot new joints make this episode the kind you just want to put on some new jeans and rock out to. </p> <p> </p>

<p>You have to be careful with a penis when it's really big cause you might end up dead! This South Florida man is really in a tough place (murder charge) because of it. </p> <p>Plus how many people/hours does it take for Johnny Depp to get ready? Let's take a guess!</p> <p>AND special guest Wheeler Walker Jr. joins us and blows us away with his amazing voice and beautiful voice. Ol' Wheeler has got some pipes on him. </p>

<p>When a longshoreman doesn't feel like talking, you better get to walking or you're gonna get trespassing. That's just the way it goes. </p> <p>Plus, your feedback is boring in for Christina's Fart Mistress Shed. Will she go thru with it? </p> <p>AND we have a new awful work song. It's really quite depressing. Hope you enjoy it!</p> <p>The real news is Ari Shaffir is not only back from his vision quest, he's actually HERE, in the mommy dome. He has a new special coming to Netflix July 18 called Double Negative. Oh and he still owes Tommy and Bert a trip. </p>

<p>It's here in all its glory - episode 400 of Your Mom's House! And finally we face the question that has been bugging us all - will Christina BaBoey Chusay Oh Tom's B-Hole? A real conversation takes place. </p> <p>PLUS, will Tina start a side business in a shed? </p> <p>Is there someone out there who laughs as hard as Top Dog at awful jokes? </p> <p>We have those answers and more! Pull em up!</p>

<p>There's a wise, older Asian man that can have an orgasm without ejactulating and every time he shakes from within his prostate it's like watching a parade: pure, unadulterated joy. </p> <p>Aside from that this episode is full of fun. We have a man that uses ALL the Big Words he can think of, PLUS a job orientation that rivals the infamous Let's Get Social song. </p> <p>We have a follow up on Shaq's biggest "toe" and a big announcement for Tommy's fall shows. Plus, don't forget to MAKE FITNESS in our new official Fitness tank. </p> <p>(Imagine the sound of the Asian man shaking from the inside here). </p>

<p>Do you like heavy breathing into the mic? CHECK! What about laughing uncontrollably at street jokes? BOOM! Anybody poop their pants lately? You guessed it, Top Dog is in the building and he brought his Peruvian princess with him. </p> <p>Before we get to that we've got people marrying themselves and buildings, plus what's the opposite of a happy Dad Boner? Is it Dad Rage? Whatever it is, we found him too. </p> <p> </p>

<p>Oh Snap! We got the PodFather. The Mighty and Powerful Joe Rogan joins us to discuss all things JEAN. </p> <p>From the crazy current state of politics to some all time dad boner moments, Joe weighs in on it all. </p> <p>He even answers the question: Would you date your mom? </p> <p>Spark one up and pour some out, this is an all-time classic. </p> <p>Pull em up!</p>

<p>This one is particularly Amaze, Jean. </p> <p>Nothing like the police scaring you as you literally swim with sharks. Hear the REAL audio and decide if you'll ever swim again. </p> <p>Plus, does anyone deserve a beating the way people who WISH they were disabled do? Can we start a fundraiser to get them their wish?</p> <p>We have a Horrible or Hilarious that is not, well, hilarious. So, just listen. </p> <p>AND, has Tommy finally crossed the line with Tina and his grossness? </p> <p>To make things even better we have our first guest in ages in studio. This guy is the REAL WATER CHAMP. It's water sommelier, Martin Riese. Get ready to get educated in everything H20. </p>

<p>Does thinking about your family turn you on? Think harder. Now are you feeling it? Let's talk about something that your brain does a good job of blocking out. </p> <p>Plus Tommy got food poisoning. Can you guess what type of food caused it? Can you guess where you shouldn't buy that type of food from? Bingo.</p> <p>Just as Tina and Tommy realized they could plug in more than one thing in their bedroom, they also have come to the conclusion that they can buy more than one clock. Hear the riveting story.</p> <p>AND even more unsolicited callers weigh in on the personality battle. Who do you find more charming? </p>

<p>A lot people have opinions on their dog food like they know what their dog can taste, thankfully one guy dove in for the rest of us and taste tested different dog foods. We have the amazing results. </p> <p>Plus, single dad, Tom takes his son to the mall and gets some alarming looks. Would you look at Tommy that way? </p> <p>A "You Know" champ comes to us from the least expected place AND it seems like the Personality Championship can be put to rest. We have audio for you to consider. </p> <p>JEANS UP!</p>

<p>This is the second live podcast we did on this evening at The Irvine Improv. The inimitable Yoshi joins us for some hilarious and often jaw-dropping conversations.</p> <p> </p> <p>*Please use HEADPHONES to listen to this episode. And of course, STANIMA. </p>

<p>If you're a lady and you're having trouble getting pregnant or perhaps you want some more excitement in bed, there has been a new development that is changing lives - LEECHES. You just need to shove them up inside of you. </p> <p>Plus, aren't nail clippers incredible? This one dude thinks so and we happen to agree.</p> <p>We'd love to put the personality argument to rest, but both moms are still bickering. Isn't it obvious???</p> <p>Plus, there's some big Chef John fans writing in and defending his UP-speak AND we have Would You Rather, Fill Her Up and MORE.</p> <p>There isn't enough denim in this world to match up with this episode. </p>