You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents

If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, chances are no one ever showed you what being an emotionally healthy adult actually looks like. In this episode, I’m breaking down why healing feels so confusing, messy, and unclear and what you actually need in order to move forward. We’re talking about: Why “I don’t want to be like them” isn’t enough to create healthy change The skills cycle breakers were never taught growing up How dysfunctional family systems create blind spots What it actually takes to break the cycle I’m also walking you through the exact framework I use inside The Cycle Breaker’s Vault so you can see what a real, practical roadmap looks like. Show Notes: Get started with The Cycle Breaker's Vault: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/offers/goeNciz9/checkout Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Learn more about therapy with Torie: https://toriewikselltherapy.com/ Follow Torie on Social: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When you grow up with an emotionally unpredictable or narcissistic parent, it’s easy to get stuck trying to figure out their intent especially when there were both good and painful moments. In this episode, we’re breaking down why that question keeps you stuck and what actually matters when it comes to healing and setting boundaries. Because the truth is, it’s not about whether they mean to hurt you. It’s about what they continue to do and how it impacts you. Show Notes: Get a free sneak peak into The Cycle Breaker's Vault (use code VAULT50 until 4/9 to get $50 off the entire course): https://www.confidentboundaries.com/offers/dWG3vaJd/checkout Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Learn more about therapy with Torie:https://toriewikselltherapy.com/ Follow Torie on Social:https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, I’m talking about why that happens and why “just feel your feelings” isn’t actually helpful for most people who grew up in chaotic or emotionally unpredictable family environments. When you grow up with a parent who lacks emotional regulation skills, you learn to analyze, anticipate, and problem-solve. Not because something is wrong with you, but because it helped you function in an environment that didn’t feel safe. In this episode, we’ll get into: -Why intellectualizing your emotions is a learned survival response -Why feeling your emotions can feel unsafe or inaccessible -The role safety plays in being able to process emotions -Why you might feel stuck even if you want to heal Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to feel more. It’s about creating enough safety to feel brave enough to feel. Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Learn more about therapy with Torie: https://toriewikselltherapy.com/ Follow Torie on Social: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we’re talking about: Why forgiveness is often misunderstood Why you don’t need to forgive your parent to heal How focusing on forgiveness can actually keep you stuck The difference between forgiveness and healing Why acceptance is what actually helps you move forward What “radical acceptance” looks like in real life Listen to learn more about the fallacy of forgiveness and what it actually takes to heal from growing up within a dysfunctional family system. Interested in therapy with Torie?If you’re an adult living in California, Oregon, or Washington and are interested in working together in therapy, you can learn more and schedule a free phone consultation here: https://toriewikselltherapy.com/schedule Support the show and get more episodesJoin the private podcast feed for access to bonus episodes, archived episodes, and ad-free versions of all new episodes: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/youre-not-crazy-podcast Follow Torie on Social: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we’re going back to the basics and talking about why things like staying hydrated, eating enough, sleeping, and moving your body matter far more for your mental health than most people realize. We cover: • Why cycle breakers often disconnect from their own needs• How dysfunctional family dynamics train you to ignore your basic needs• The mental health impact of dehydration, hunger, and exhaustion• Why boundaries are often required just to take care of yourself• Simple ways to start prioritizing your basic needs again Sometimes prioritizing your healing means something as simple as drinking enough water. Interested in therapy with Torie?If you’re an adult living in California, Oregon, or Washington and are interested in working together in therapy, you can learn more and schedule a free phone consultation here: https://toriewikselltherapy.com/schedule Support the show and get more episodesJoin the private podcast feed for access to bonus episodes, archived episodes, and ad-free versions of all new episodes: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/youre-not-crazy-podcast Follow Torie on Social: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When you spend your childhood being misunderstood, projected onto, or told who you are instead of being seen for who you actually are, it makes sense that you carry that fear of being misunderstood into adulthood. In this episode, I talk about: • Why adult children of narcissistic parents often overexplain themselves • What it feels like to grow up being constantly misunderstood • Why this pattern tends to show up more when you’re overwhelmed or depleted • What real healing actually looks like when these habits still pop up Follow Torie on Social: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Support the podcast + get access to bonus, archived, and ad-free episodes: Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed to support the growth of the show and get access to bonus episodes, the entire archive, and ad-free new episodes each week! Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we explore: Why guilt feels so overwhelming for adult children of emotionally immature and narcissistic parents How dysfunctional family systems train you to equate guilt with being a bad person The difference between healthy guilt and manipulative guilt Why avoiding guilt keeps you stuck in the toxic cycle How to approach difficult decisions without avoiding or agreeing to things beyond your capacity Learning to sit with guilt instead of immediately jumping into avoidance or problem-solving mode is a skill that many of us cycle breakers were never taught. Listen to this episode to learn more about building the healthy skills necessary to confidently navigate guilt as a cycle breaker. Follow Torie on Social: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Support the podcast + get bonus episodes: Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed to support the growth of the show and get access to bonus episodes, the entire archive, and ad-free new episodes each week! Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, you may have heard this when you started setting boundaries, going to therapy, or naming the dysfunction in your family. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we unpack: Why “walking on eggshells” is not the same thing in a parent-child relationship The lifelong power imbalance that doesn’t magically disappear when you turn 18 Why toxic parents often say this when you stop being compliant How this narrative twists reality and creates a false “both sides” story The subtle gaslighting behind “I have to walk on eggshells around you, too” When a parent says this, it often isn’t about your behavior. It’s about their discomfort with accountability. It’s about losing control of a dynamic where you were expected to stay small, agreeable, and emotionally accommodating. If you’ve started therapy, begun setting boundaries with a toxic parent, or noticed pushback when you stop playing your assigned role in the family, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening. Follow Torie on Social: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Support the growth of the show and get access to bonus content by joining You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. Plus, you'll get ad-free versions of all new episodes when you join:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down common behaviors that toxic families often label as “normal,” but that are actually deeply damaging and abusive. We talk about why these dynamics are so confusing, why they impact you as deeply as they do, and why your reactions are not a personal flaw. You’ll learn: Why emotional and psychological abuse in families is often minimized or dismissed How power and control shape parent-child dynamics, even in adulthood Why stonewalling, silent treatment, shaming, and gaslighting are not “just family stuff” How abuse creates confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion over time How naming abuse accurately can be a powerful step toward clarity and healing If you’ve ever questioned whether it was “really that bad,” struggled to trust your own emotional reactions, or felt drawn to content about toxic parents while doubting your experience, this episode offers grounding, validation, and context. Follow Torie on Social: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Love the podcast? Support the show (and get access to bonus content) Get ad-free episodes, bonus content, and access to archived episodes by joining You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Schedule a Therapy Phone Consultation If you’re interested in talking about working with Torie in therapy, use the following link to schedule a free phone consultation. Must be located in CA, OR, or WA. https://toriewikselltherapy.com/schedule If this episode was helpful, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I walk through the most common reasons boundaries fail with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and toxic parents. Not because you did it wrong, but because most people are taught a version of boundaries that doesn’t account for manipulation, emotional dysregulation, guilt, or the survival responses cycle breakers carry into adulthood. We talk about: -Why using the word “boundary” often backfires with toxic parents -What a boundary actually is (and why it’s about your behavior, not controlling theirs) -How toxic parents escalate when they feel dysregulated or lose access to you -Why guilt, panic, and urgency show up after you set limits -How not enforcing a boundary teaches your parent to push harder -Why boundaries without an enforcement plan almost always collapse This episode is especially for adults who intellectually understand boundaries but still find themselves caving when their parent panics, guilt-trips, or emotionally escalates. If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I should do, but I can’t seem to follow through,” this conversation will give you clarity and language for what’s really happening. This is also why boundary work with toxic parents requires more than scripts or one-off advice. It requires understanding the family system, the manipulation tactics, and your own nervous system responses so you can follow through without self-abandoning. Follow Torie on Social: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist And if you want access to more episodes of the podcast, sign up for You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. You'll be supporting the growth of the show while getting access to archived, bonus, and ad-free episodes of You're Not Crazy:confidentboundaries.com/private If this episode helped put words to something you’ve been struggling with, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show and feel less alone. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The gaslighting, denial, deflection, and rewriting of reality mirror the dynamics many adults grew up with in toxic or narcissistic family systems. Torie explains how ongoing trauma impacts emotional capacity, why trauma that is still happening cannot be healed (only coped with), and how the pressure to respond perfectly often leads to paralysis. For listeners who feel overwhelmed, stuck, and at a loss for how to move forward right now, this episode provides context, validation, and grounded perspective. Support the podcast and listen ad-freeJoin You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus and archived episodes plus ad-free listening:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Most cycle breakers know exactly what they don’t want to repeat. But knowing what not to do is very different from knowing how to be an emotionally healthy adult, especially when emotional regulation, boundaries, and healthy relationships were never modeled for you. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we talk about why learning emotional health as a cycle breaker is often messy, uncomfortable, and filled with shame. We explore the fear of “becoming your parent,” the pressure to get it right immediately, and the black-and-white thinking that makes normal struggles feel like personal failures. This episode covers: -Why most cycle breakers start adulthood without the skills they need -How growing up with explosive, punishing, or emotionally unavailable parents shapes your relationship with emotions -Why suppressing feelings, intellectualizing, or trying to be “easy” creates problems as an adult -The difference between struggling emotionally and being emotionally unsafe -Why emotional health is built through skill-building, accountability, and repair, not perfection -How shame keeps cycle breakers stuck and what helps loosen its grip If you’re deeply invested in becoming an emotionally healthy adult but feel discouraged by your imperfections, this episode is for you. Support the podcast:Subscribe to You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus episodes, archived content, and ad-free listening for $5/month. Your support helps grow the podcast while giving you access to additional content. Thank you!https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private If this episode resonated, please consider leaving a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find our show. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Self-doubt is one of the most common and paralyzing struggles for cycle breakers. In this episode of the You’re Not Crazy Podcast, Torie explains why chronic self-doubt is not a personality flaw, but a trauma response rooted in long-term gaslighting and emotional invalidation. You’ll learn how growing up in a toxic family system trains you to distrust your own memories, emotions, and decisions, and why self-doubt often shows up most intensely when you start setting boundaries, becoming more assertive, or trying to live differently than your family expects. Torie breaks down how “self-gaslighting” develops, why it makes adult decision-making feel overwhelming, and how awareness can help you stop treating this voice as truth. This episode is especially relevant if you: Were told you were too sensitive, dramatic, or wrong about your experiences Second-guess your boundaries and feel tempted to backtrack Freeze when making decisions because you are afraid of choosing wrong Feel stuck even though you are trying to heal and break the cycle Most importantly, this conversation reframes self-doubt as a normal byproduct of growing up in a dysfunctional family, not evidence that you are incapable, broken, or failing at healing. You’re Not Crazy: The Private Podcast FeedGet ad-free episodes, bonus content, and full access to archived episodes.https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private If this episode resonated, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This episode is about nuance. It’s about why labels like narcissistic personality disorder, borderline traits, or “toxic parent” can feel both clarifying and overwhelming, and why healing does not actually depend on getting a definitive diagnosis. I talk about: Why patterns of behavior matter more than labels How gaslighting, emotional volatility, shame, and walking on eggshells shape adult children Why many cycle breakers grow up in “two realities” with the same parent The grief, relief, anger, and desire for connection that can coexist How minimizing what you experienced can quietly train you to tolerate harm in other relationships Want access to ad-free and archived episodes of You're Not Crazy?Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for archived episodes, bonus content, and ad-free listening.https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

From navigating visibility as a therapist talking openly about toxic family systems, to setting boundaries around social media, content creation, and emotional labor, this episode is a grounded, honest look at what it actually takes to do this work sustainably as a cycle breaker. Torie shares why she’s recommitting to the podcast, simplifying where her energy goes, and being more intentional about how and where she shows up. She also talks candidly about burnout, backlash, self doubt, and what it means to keep choosing growth when you were conditioned to stay small. This episode covers: -Personal reflections from a year of growth, visibility, and boundary setting -The emotional cost of talking publicly about narcissistic and toxic parents -Why simplifying is a form of healing, not quitting -Reprioritizing the podcast and stepping back from what no longer fits -Looking ahead to 2026 with more clarity, intention, and self trust Are you loving the podcast? Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed to support the show and get access to bonus and archived episodes, plus ad-free versions of all new episodes:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.