Your Kickstarter Sucks

You are not going to believe some of the Kickstarters we dredged up this week. An umbrella that moves around for you?? A social network for dogs?? An ad for the woods?? If you believe all that you would believe what we dredged up this week because that’s what it is. And like 3 other things. And somehow it takes like 2 hours to do all that. Insane. What is going with these guys?? I’m worried sick!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium is where ya gotta go for more of these knuckleheads. You already know!This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - Head to FACTOR MEALS dot com slash yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off. That’s code yks50 at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash yks50 to get 50% off!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Did somebody say…McLnald’s? I did, when I went into the drive thru…and that’s exactly what I got! On today’s show we are putting our rock horns up and making the piss face while we slide a towel over our Jeep seats. Plus we try to figure out how to cook ramen, whether European guys can be funny, and how cops like to party!! So grab a dog bowl and start slurpin...it’s an all-new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. We all love our phones! And we love YKS Premium! We’ve just wrapped up an all-bangers Miketober with two episodes featuring some of our favorite crazy pairs: First, Tom and Demi from BigSoftTitty.PNG joined for Event Horizon, and after that, the Doughboys, Nick and Mitch, hopped on for a review of The Gate! Now there’s four freaks I wouldn’t wanna meet up with in a dark alley! But you can, at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's another YKS and you just KNOW this bad boy is CHUCK FOOL of laughs! This week we got some old favourites: a stupid assed app, a useless electronic piece of shit, and we threw in a sack of crystals for good measure! Also on this episode: celebrity hair stylist Corm Deedle stops by to give Dan a surprise makeover -- (You won't believe his new 'do!), the boys brush up on their "netiquette" with social-media expert Churb Peproni and wildlife handler Marc Dogballs drops in to chat about what else: BIRDS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Alright folks it’s time to updoot the show. So just take that little mouse clicker and hover it over the, uh, show. Then it’s simply time to press the mouse clicker downwards, locking in the updoot and signaling to the rest of the people looking at the show that you have decided it is updootable! And from there, all you need to do is to continue doing that forever and ever until the internet is good. Thank you for your time and doots!On today’s show we got a very interesting question about ice cream and doodoo, a terrifying trip through r/TwoSentenceHorror, and, of course, DB’s patented “Wild Mike Challenge”. Plus, we got memes for Christians, a fucking cup for fussy little weenies, more AI stuff that sucks, and ORGIES with your FRIENDS! How crazy is that?! Enough to keep a person of average intelligence entertained for about 90 minutes? God I hope so. My life depends on it! Oh wow it's a lot longer than that. Is that good?Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Animals…they’re basically humans with smaller brains. But what if we could make their braings bigger, so we could kiss on them. And help them watch TV. Well, that’s one problem our nation’s beloved psychics and button-builders have been working on for many years. And if this episode is any indication, they may be getting very close! To stealing your money! On this week’s show we’re comforting sad lizards, buying into a cell phone technology even more embarrassing than the dreaded green bubble, and of course giving ourselves over to the incredible advances of AI Reddit-Scrapers. Finally…a worse podcast than YKS! Just joking around, I think we do a decent job here. Listen now and tell me if I’m wrong!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. A chill is in the air…It must be a sign…that you should subscribe to YKS Premium today! Miketober has begun and it’s going horrifically so far! Which, in this case, is good! Last week the great Howell Dawdy returned for a review of another of Howell’s Howlers: The Pit! And this week, author/illustrator Mattie Lubchansky joins the show to talk about their awesome book Boys Weekend and the film Amityville 3-D! I’ve got flies in my mouth just thinking about it!This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by: HelloFresh - Yum yum yum! Yum yum yummers! I love food and you will too. Specifically the quality, convenient meals from HelloFresh. But honestly, a lot of different foods is good. Try ‘em all! But if you want a deal on some fun dinners to make, go to HelloFresh.com/ 50yourkickstartersucks and use code 50yourkickstartersucks for 50% off plus free shipping!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Quick! You’ve got 60 seconds! TO LAUGH! Well we oughta have you covered on this week’s episode which, although I’ve not seen the final runtime just yet, I would have to imagine is north of 1 minute long and ought to contain at least 1 giggle-worthy joke. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…it’s more important now than ever before! Well, it’s probably the same amount of important as before, but this month you’re gonna feel real glad you took the plunge. This Friday, Miketober IV: Hole-O-Ween beginsThis week’s YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - It’s (clap) flu (clap) and (clap) cold season! Let’s protect ourselves with all the usual stuff - washing the hands, masking the face, never leaving the house, etc. and then add onto it some immunity-supporting vitamins! After all, your car can’t go without gas (some do, I guess). Vitamins = gas. Well, AG1 has all the human body gas you could need, in a fun and fruity little package. Head to athleticgreens.com/yks for a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packsFactor - I need meals, and I need ‘em now! It don’t get more convenient than Factor Meals…just ask our very own Mike Hale (please don’t bother Mike). We’re all fans of Factor here at YKS HQ, and you will be too, once you get a taste of that yummy stuff known as food! Mosey on over to FactorMeals.com/YKS50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off. That’s code yks50 at FactorMeals.com/YKS50 to get 50% off!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Imagine opening up the newspaper, flipping past the Coca-Cola stock ticker, Marmaduke and the blurbs about all the people who croaked this week, and finding tucked away in the bottom corner the answers to all life’s most pertinent questions. What’s my destiny? Will I find true love? Am I a good person? What numbers should I play on the Powerball? Well, plenty of people do think you can do just that. And who am I to say otherwise? Well, actually, I’m a Sagittarius – which is the best type of guy you can be. On today’s show we’re talking all about our astrology fuckstyles, autonomous food, celebrity hypnotherapists, and all kinds of other stuff that’s, well, fake but still fun. Plus a fan type that promises to threaten the Lasko Throne. It’s another crazy YKS so let’s just all listen to it right now! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium also answers some of life’s big questions: where can I get more YKS, is there any more YKS, do the YKS guys do any other shows or stuff, how can I get rid of $5? Next month: Miketober Returns. And who’s to say what’s after that, other than the nation’s top psychics and seers?  You should sign up just in case it’s good though. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Mint Mobile - Big Wireless means Big Bills. And if you’re anything like me, you like your Bills small so you can squish ‘em under your schtinky feet! Let’s put a hurting on those out of control device installment plans, data overages, and FEES with Mint Mobile, where just $15 a month gets you a fully unlimited plan! Wow! Dial em up at MintMobile.com/YKSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Aliens spotted in Mexico! AI run amok! Weird church guys have their own dating app! It’s Monday morning in America, and these are today’s headlines. Okay I actually just looked at today’s headlines and they’re mostly about Drew Barrymore’s morning show. So we’ll probably get into that on today’s show, as well as Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez appearing in adorable new BFF selfies…very nice! Plus we’ve got a tabletop game project so strange that we don’t just look the other way when walking past the guy talking about it, a peanut butter device for true peanut butter freaks, and economic justice. Basically a bunch of crap. That’s what you like, right? Well there’s plenty of it. So download the show and then listen to it on your phone speaker while taking public transit. That’s The YKS Way!  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Want more YKS? Then you need YKS Premium. Nuff said. Actually I would also say that there’s hundreds of hours of bonus YKS, and it’s all yours and all ad free. And our best month of the year is coming up, chock full of fabulous guests. And it’s a great way to support the perfect guys who make the show you love more than anything. And what if a mysterious old crone appeared to you in a dream to say you should listen to it? YKS Premium. Nuff said. This episode is brought to you by these fine brands:Factor - “I did everything right. And they eated me!” - My meals. Calorie smart, keto, Vegan, Protein+, Factor’s got something for everyone. And me? I greedily lap it up. Check it out for yourself, and it couldn’t be simpler. Get 50% off with code YKS50 at Factor.com/YKS50 Athletic Greens - Travel’s coming up! I guess just for me, but plenty of other people will be flying around too. I can only hope that they’ve taken their AG1 and Vitamin D, as I will have. What a way to start the day, even if it’s 3am and I’m standing in a big long line! We’re all smiling in the line, thanks to AG1. Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey! Put down your phone! And put down the other thing that might be in your hand right now! It’s time for another YKS! On today’s program, we’re discovering the intricacies of language, exploring many new and exciting beverage options, and, yes, talking about whacking off. Plus, we’ve got a really cool way to keep peepee off your potty, champagne that even losers can enjoy, and some good old fashioned snake oil. And I’m not talking about that other kind of snake oil! Oh brother! Just enjoy the show…Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! The place for all demons in a tube! Last week we checked out what some of our friends in the church are doing with all the money we’ve been sending their way, and the results are kind of not too good if we’re being honest! This week, we’ll be joined by our even more satanic friends Libby Watson and Pat Gill to discuss the mysteries beyond the stars and plains…UFO Cowboys!This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - I love my meals, and yours! Because I know they’re all from Factor, the place that will send you food in the mail that’s good to eat. Now normally the mail is where you get letters and junk, but not anymore! Factor has reinvigorated an American institution and also will send you a chicken burrito bowl. That’s what’s up. Go to FactorMeals.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off your orderNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

And it’s orange!!! No, I’m not talking about the former Mister Diet Coke In Chief, but rather some kind of stupid little fuckin thing you plug into your phone (???) And it Helps You. By letting you call someone else. If they’re, like, super close. Okee doke!! On today’s program, we are changing social media (if our other ideas don’t work out or make sense), drinking some stuff out of a mug (no handles, convenient), and planting some flowers (on the ceiling, hell yeah!) That would be more than enough for one show, but we saw fit to do approximately 3 more things I think. And knowing us…that’s just the beginning. Well hopefully you have enjoyed this episode description as much as I have enjoyed writing it. And oh yeah, there’s a whole show to listen to as well! Not as good as this of course. But still, not too bad. Well, now I need to go to the bathroom. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium. Buy It. Hear It. Love It. At patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Yes I’m traveling, and yes I need my damn Vitamins! And I wouldn’t dare do either, without Athletic Greens. Get 5 free travel packs and 1 year supply of Vitamin D at athleticgreens.com/yksHelloFresh - Why not eat the food if it’s hot and you like it? With HelloFresh, it’s Hot, it’s Fresh, and It’s All Up To You. Go to hellofresh.com/50yourkickstartersucks and use code 50yourkickstartersucks for 50% off plus 15% off the next 2 months!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey there! Have ya heard bout Nowee? And the great Fluuhhd? Wale, we’re talkin’ about that today a little bit, and of course those dang ol’ iPods too. Plus, we’re innovating wallet technology back to the early 2000s, kissing our birds, flipping wallet chains with CIA guys, and of course, rocking out! Tell your pappy, it’s a new episode of YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…a place you can go to whenever you close your eyes, randomly type in the 9 or 10 or whatever digits of some credit card number, and press enter! For more episodes of YKS, access to the Discord, and much more, sign up today! And that will presumably fix some problems we are all having (??)This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Mint Mobile - Ring ring…it’s time for savings! Ring ring was the sound of your alarm going off, not the phone ringing. You’re one of those people who has their alarm sound like a phone ringing. You definitely march to the beat of your own drummer. But hell, so does Mint Mobile. To get your new unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to MintMobile.com/YKSFast Growing Trees - If I am being perfectly honest, when I search my heart and hold nothing back, I realize that Slow Growing Trees would have been fine with me. But thank goodness my small mindedness didn’t stop the audacious crew of Fast Growing Trees. My flowerbeds have you to thank. To get FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF your entire order, go to FastGrowingTrees.com/YKSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Old Navy slammed my debit card! That’s just one non-sequitur featuring a name of a company we have no relationship with, which will nevertheless be auto-populated as a sponsor on dogshit AI websites around the net. Here’s some more: Linus Tech Tips, Husqvarna, and the government of the People’s Republic of China. Let’s see what kinda discount code we can cook up with that. On today’s show, our very own Mike goes Spooky Boy mode, we learn a lot from Motivational Speaker Instagram Bald, and we fire everyone who works for us and doesn’t have a six pack (doesn’t apply to co-owners). Plus, we’re membering stuff, tracking our, uh, treasures, and proving the existence of psychic abilities once and for all, with Google Docs. You can hear all that and more by grabbing our RSS feed, asserting a relationship with us, and becoming unresponsive to emails – right now – on an all-new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium is where you’re gonna wanna go for more YKS, if you’re into that sort of thing. Beach Party, Jessuary, Miketober, and of course all the episodes where we literally have no idea what we are doing and just sort of flail around for an hour (those are our most popular ones) await you! This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine sponsors:Factor - “Hell, I could eat”. We’ve all said it. But when the rubber meets the road, sometimes we have a hard time figuring out what, exactly, it is we are supposed to slug down! Well that’s why Factor got invented: It’s food that you eat! Why not, if it’s hot and you like it? Get 50% off your order at Factormeals.com/yks50Athletic Greens - Yooooooo!! I love taking AG1 in the AM. And that’s a fun mnemonic device to remember it as well, which I’m throwing in for free. Get 5 free travel packs and 1 year of Vitamin D, which many are saying is “the goated vitamin”, at AthleticGreens.com/YKSNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

YKS 3:16 says I just downloaded your ass! I forgot to say that in the episode so putting it here will poopsimply have to do. On today’s show, we’re joining Club Cool with Jukebox Ron and sending a  tribute to J. Lo. Plus we got a coffee product that somehow is not intended for everyone on Earth to drink, a probably-illegal brain scam, some guys who would fall for a brain scam, a Christian TV show so bad I don’t think even Christians would watch it, and more. It is at this point that I catch a couple of seltzer cans out of the air, crack them open, pour them all over my head, and kick Producer Dan right in the belly. I have won the title, and am the Big Champion of Whatever. A crazed fan slides into the studio and attempts to remove my jean shorts before being tackled by DB in a clown suit. It’s just another day taping YKS. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! That’s basically where we live. Come and say hello to us, and give us a small treat. In return we may perform one of our famous tricks (having a great guest like Kevin Banner on, or sitting there going “uhhh” until one of us remembers a joke we heard in 1st grade). $5 a month for all that, and we won’t even charge you tax (actually I do think it charges you tax).  This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:HelloFresh - In the old days, having some guy come by and toss a big thing of spaghetti carbonara on your front porch would mean you pissed off the wrong neighbors. But now it means you’ve got delicious, nutritious meals from HelloFresh waiting to get cooked up and eaten! So get with the times and sign up today – Get 50% off plus free shipping at hellofresh.com/50yourkickstartersucks with that classic code, 50yourkickstartersucksFastGrowingTrees - Plants…who needs ‘em, right? Well, wrong. The Earth needs them, and luckily I’ve got a plan. I’m going to go get the plants that are right for my zone, tap some experts for help in taking care of them, and then, oh yeah, breathe in some of that wonderful element known as oxygen. But first, I’m gonna save a little money….Get 15% off at fastgrowingtrees.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Would you like to play a game? As kids, we sure did! But you’ll be surprised to learn that Mike and I grew up a little bit differently. Smirk. I’m so inexperienced in classic gaming I thought Escape From Monkey Island was a Jane Goodall biopic. But I digress. On today’s show, Producer Dan poops in a Gatorade bottle (just seeing if he reads these), we confirm the existence of a freaky mail carrier, and we move to Ireland to avoid income tax. Plus, we’re keeping our Altoids safe on the beach (coulda used that last month!), we’re picking up puke, and we’re finally revisiting the amazing world of South Park. I wonder what they’d say if they were still producing episodes today! Ah! Probably something like “My pronouns are Cartman.” I have now been hired for the show. Enjoy.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Well, folks, we had one hell of a month on YKS Premium. We were joined by Stuart and Dan from The Flophouse, Will Menaker, Charles, Alex, and Andrew from E1, and Zach Cherry for a month of roughly beach-adjacent films and some very roughly recorded parody songs. And this month presents a brand new challenge: how to STOP talking about the beach! Wish us some good luck and nab the archive of hundreds of similarly themed episodes at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. This week’s episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Factor - When it comes to this time of year, my mind always wanders to one thing: meals. And cooking them in just 2 minutes or less. Luckily, our friends at Factor have figured out a way to combine these twin loves. All you have to do is ask, “Would I like to live deliciously?” If so, Use code yks50 at FACTOR MEALS.com/yks50 to get 50% off!NordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!Athletic Greens - Vitamins are so good to have, but my problem with them is often having to slurp down some kind of nasty goo or choke on a fist-sized pill. Well fear no more because Athletic Greens has concocted a delicious tropical beverage that has more nutrients in it than I could honestly ever name. Which is why I love to Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey free coffee…want any? Yeah, it does suck! Thanks for letting us use this in our commercial!! ← Do you think this scenario could really happen? Well, the boys at YKS don’t, and that’s why they came out with Episode 314 of the program, and not any other contractual, financial, or sheer inertia-based reasons! On today’s show we’re doing a very short and unsatisfying investigation into how fruit flies pork each other, and yes of course buttwiping technology returns as a focal point of the conversation as well. Plus we’re talking old man hobbies, kissing the computer, and rats with PTSD. Do YOU think you can take down the evil Dr. Divisor with your power of exponent multiplicity? Then put it to the test…it’s an all-new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! THAT’S what I wanted to talk about. On last Friday’s YKS Premium, we went out to the…movies! In the middle of a movie month?!! Yep, we’re just that crazy. But there was no better way to introduce our newest series, Limited Engagement, where we see the stuff even the movie theater isn’t that excited about. Plus we ate some crap you wouldn’t feed a dog. Next week, we conclude Beach Party 2 with a “radical” throwback…Point Break (one of em)! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brandsAthletic Greens - Vitamins are sooooo good. But everyone wants to eat them. I say drink them, and get some adaptogens to boot! A slightly tropical flavor is just icing on the cake. Get 5 free travel packs and a year supply of Vitamin D at AthleticGreens.com/YKS.Fast Growing Trees - Ferns. Apple Tree. Olive…branch? Those are just some of the wonderful things that grow on this earth, and doubtless also things I could kill without expert support and guidance. That’s where Fast Growing Trees comes in. So, let’s all put some stuff in the ground, in the good way! Get 15% off your order at FastGrowingTrees.com/YKS.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Opening up a recent issue of Business Touch Magazine to see if there are any weird and slightly paranoid guys selling a 75 year old piece of equipment I could shock myself with, and ah! What’s this! A big heavy thing my friends can roast me over? Well, well well, I do believe I have hit the **ZAP**....jackpot. I’m just kidding. It looks cool. I don’t want to do any more references to stuff that’s in the episode because the stuff I wrote down is mostly about poop, and I’m 35 years old so that kind of sucks. But the Kickstarters this week are pretty funny and they are basically all huge scams so it’s okay to laugh at them. And we talk about some other stuff as well, in addition to the poop things I mentioned before. Yep that feels bad. Okay, talk to you later.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - I really think, and I am serious, that this is one of the best shows you can listen to in the entire world. Please do not ask me what other shows there are, if I have heard them, or if I know what this show even is. Last week’s ep was a real banger – our friend Will Menaker from Chapo Trap House joined to do some fucking movie. God, what was it? I can’t remember. Well whatever it was, it was surely about a beach. Since the theme for the month is Beach Party. Next week: a fun surprise that Mike will hate. But you? You will love!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - “Meals” are now called “X”! Just kidding. But you almost believed it, which says a lot about society. Get fifty-percent off with code yks50 at factor75.com/yks50.Schedule 35 - New neural networks in the brain? Hey get these guys working on my wifi! Of course I know those are different things, but I probably couldn’t, like, really tell you why. Get 15% off with code YKS at schedule35.coHoney - I’m getting my big head stuck in a bucket that has Honey written on the side. But instead of that classic sweet stuff inside, it’s discounts and cash back! Even better! Save yourself some coin at joinhoney.com/yksMint mobile - I hate my wireless plan…why did I buy it? Well probably because I am a sucker and didn’t realize I could get the same service for a lot less, with Mint Mobile. Grab a new wireless plan for $15/mo and free shipping at mintmobile.com/yks.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It would have made a lot of sense to stop doing episodes after we made it to 311…such a momentous occasion, such an incredible event, and of course it’s all downhill from there anyway. But according to recent polling, people are loving the slop more than ever before (and also we don’t have other jobs or things to do outside of sitting on the computer) and as a result, we have elected to continue doing the show for the foreseeable future! And as luck would have it, there were approximately 6 new things to talk about this week, including a guy reinventing drinking water, a guy reinventing sleeping, and finally, the discovery of a combination of sex and food that somehow fails to make any sense whatsoever. Looks like this one is coming in at the required length, so pop some pornocorn and let the AI-powered tablet beep and boop at you for a while…it’s time for a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. If I were even more YKS content, just where would I hide….Oh yeah! YKS Premium on Patreon! Last week we were joined by our friends from E1 for a trip down Sandler Lane as YKS Beach Party 2 continues. And the only place to hear it, or get an invitation to Alex Branson’s Hawaiian House Party is at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - My name is Bub and I love to eat Grub! That’s just my pitch for a character named Bub who loves healthy, convenient meals delivered straight to his front door. Oh and guess what? His dad died in the war so he has a lot of trauma to process. And according to this card here, the show has been canceled. Meanwhile I’m going to FactorMeals.com/yks50 for 50% off my order! Who cares about Bub! I’m glad he’s gone. Schedule35 - Sometimes you have to think thoughts. I know, I know, I’d prefer not to as well. But it says here microdosing psilocybin can help make thinking thoughts more pleasant by creating new neural networks in the brain which help boost focus, creativity, mood enhancement. Now that’s what I call, eating some stuff that’s good. Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.co - That’s 15% off at Schedule35.co and use code YKS See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oh yeah man, mondo badass episode! Schwing! Sorry it doesn’t really work to try to sound like the boneheaded robbers from 3 Ninjas, textually, and also I’m not sure 311 Guy is in the same ballpark. But, on the other hand, it’s our damn milestone and we can celebrate it however we damn well please! I choose…incoherent, replacement-level episode description. On today’s episode we’ve got a brand new Weird Coffee drink and it’s called the Starbucks Booger! That’s just a complete joke of course but you’re used to that by now, 311 episodes in. What we do have though is a dumbass little kid’s fascist magazine, some cute signs from some old ladies, and 13 pieces of crap in one. And don’t say that’s me and all my friends! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Son of a BEACH!! This month of YKS Premium is guaranteed to be hot, hot, hot! Join DB, JF, and some very special guests as they feel the sand between their toes and the popcorn between their teeth as YKS Beach Party returns to the YKS Premium Patreon page! This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - Food. We all know you’re gonna eat it. I’ll be the first one to admit, I’m in on that stuff every day of the week and twice on Sundays. But I don’t feel quite right unless I’m getting my macros and my yumminess quotient and my convenience needs met. That’s where Factor comes in. Get fifty percent off your first box with code yks50 at FACTORMEALS.com/yks50.Schedule 35 - Microsoding, huh? I know of at least one super hero who would probably get down with that. Way down with it, if you know what I mean. And maybe even his latest movie is evidence that he has! Whoaa dude, I’m like, feeling very calm and stuff...Out of this world! And into my mouth! Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.co - That’s 15% off at Schedule35.co and use code YKS. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oh my God! It’s almost the Fourth of July! I hope this episode of YKS talks about it instead of being about stuff that happened three weeks ago! Oh my godddddd! I want to talk about the Fourth of July!!! Shaddddddddaappppppp! Nobody cares about that busted ass holiday anyway; we’re already thinking about Augstrember’s Eve. On this week’s episode of YKS, we’re talking about what happened to broccolini, Rube Goldberg masturbation, and going back to the soup. Plus, we got a stupid fuckin bowl, a machine to incentivize wiping your butt at your computer desk, and a mask that will make you go completely insane. That’s good enough for a show but somehow we probably do like 15-20 more things. What will they be? Only one way to find out.. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Want more YKS? Then ya gotta get YKS Premium! There are more episodes there than there are grains of sand at the beach! That can’t possibly be true, but we’ll be finding out for sure this July during YKS Beach Party 2! Summer movies and more with some very special guests, only at Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucksAthletic Greens - Vitamins is so important this time of year, and when it comes to consuming them, I’m more of a drinker than a chewer. Thank Gaia for Athletic Greens, a beverage I’d drink even if there wasn’t any good stuff in it, but they put a bunch in there anyway. Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/yksHelloFresh - Meals meals meals, I like to have about 3 a day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. But it’s quite nice when at least one of them comes from the Kitchen Wizards (they didn’t tell me to write that, I chose it on my own) at HelloFresh. Get 16 free meals plus free shipping at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16Schedule 35 - You all know me. I like to think inside my head because that’s where the thoughts live. But I do understand, at times, it could be useful to expand our horizons a bit. And who doesn’t like a little pick-me-up? Well evidently microdosing mushrooms can help, and I’m not talking about nonna’s sunday gravy. Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.co  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lego Brandon!!! That’s the type of thing I’m saying, when I want to express a feeling I think I’m trying to have, but don’t really have the courage or belief in myself to see it through completely. And plus, I’m stupid and my breath stinks and I probably am not that good at wiping my butt so there’s still some “crust” left behind in my shorts. Yeah, that’s the kind of guy I am. I’m thinking…I’m that guy. On today’s show we’re raising a cup to Obama and asking him to protect us from the rise of the funnies. Plus it’s that classic showdown of Porbeagle vs Oncle…Momondo, ladies and gentlemen! Momondo! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! The place that honestly they should consider shutting down because we are having too much fun over there! And if they do shut it down, I hope they trap me inside and never let me out! I’m stuck in there ha ha ha. Luckily, I have many hundreds of hours of audio and video content to tide me over, and of course I can access the YKS Pisscord with all of my friends who are also trapped in the place that we’re in. I can’t really conceive of what it would be like, but it is a lot of fun and it’s only like five bucks so you know what, let’s all go do it. Right now!!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor – Now, we’ve all eaten food. But sometimes the food tastes bad or isn’t convenient or even, and yes we’ve heard of this, it can be not that nutritious! Well Factor was tired of all of that and they figured out a way around it! Let’s beat this thing, baby, with Factor! Use code yks50 to get 50% off your first box at Factormeals.com/yks50!NordVPN - 🌏 Get Exclusive NordVPN deal here ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yksIt’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m watching one of those David Attenborough-narrated nature documentaries, because it’s my day and I get to do whatever stupid crap I want. I love these shows, especially the ones about the ocean, even if the information goes in one ear and out the other. I think I just like bobbing around in the water with those crazy guys, and marinating in Big Dave’s raspy whispers. He’s definitely a compelling narrator, and I even think he’s probably pretty smart, if only from just actually reading the information I let wash over me like whale guts while researching carpet cleaners on my laptop. But within a few minutes of this one, he dumped out something like “We’ve explored more of Mars than we have the deep ocean, and blah blah blah”, which made me look up from the computer in shock. That’s some dumb shit I would say, not you. You’re British! Do something smart! Anyway enjoy YKS: the show that’s sometimes just as smart as Blue Planet II. And don’t forget to #EatLikeOsama. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Want more YKS? The only place for it is YKS Premium! Get ad-free episodes and a bunch of other episodes and mainly the draw there is more episodes, I guess. You have to like listening to our show to really get much out of the deal, which is unfortunate really; I think we’d do a lot better if it was, for instance, brand new Apple computers or extra medicine that people didn’t use all of when they were sick or something like that. But as it is, enjoy us talking more on there for about $5/month. Athletic Greens - Did you know: Vitamins are actually good for you? Yes! Many scientists presumably agree that getting the full alphabet of those bad boys inside ya will help with everything from tip to tail. But forget the big pills and suck ‘em down liquid-style, with Athletic Greens! Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yksFastGrowing Trees - It’s time to get dirty! I’ve been out in the yard digging holes and planting stuff and putting water on it. It’s fun, and it looks good, and it probably helps the earth somehow. Join me, won’t you? With 15% off your order at FastGrowingTrees.com/yks, I don’t see how you can afford not to!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I am a good person because of where I buy stuff! Are you? Keep in mind, if you say no, we will be instantly waging an ideological and perhaps literal war – one which can only be solved only with a swipe of our credit cards. On today’s show, we take a few swipes of our own – at some scams and flubs of today, including an air conditioner that fits on your wrist, a computer that tells you if your kid is drowning, and a way to sell your parking spot. Wow! Nobody ever thought of that! And nobody ever thought of this either: download our show and listen to it so you can have a nice time! That is the Mike Hale guarantee.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! The only place, perhaps on Earth, with as much YKS as the regular YKS feed! On last week’s show we had a bunch of nasty guys. And this week’s show? Well, let’s just say there’s gonna be at least 2 of em on the mic. Lord have mercy!This week’s YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:HelloFresh - Breakfast, lunch, or dinner: which meal you use HelloFresh for is what’s known as “dealer’s choice”. I’m a dinnerman, but if you’re Lunch Heads in your household, then by all means, cook ‘em up around noontime! But whatever you do, don’t pay full price for these delectable, healthy, convenient meals. Use our code! Get 16 free meals plus free shipping at hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My roots are planted in the pastThough my life is changing fastWho I am is who I want to beA single mom who works too hardWho loves her kids and never stopsWith gentle hands and the heart of a fighterI'm a survivor... Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Please…subscribe to YKS Premium! My yard needs yard food to live. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: AthleticGreens - I need my vitamins so bad! But how do I get them? Maybe by using a knife and fork to eat a huge pill by a burning oil drum? Uhh no, maybe I should just get a delicious slightly tropical beverage packed with all the nutrients a man heading into flu and cold season could possibly ask for! Get a whole year’s worth of vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yksFactor - It’s a “feeding frenzy”! The Factor box has just arrived and the entire family is rushing toward the door in a massive sphere of humanity to pick out their favorite lunches and dinners. But no worries, Factor has something for everyone! Even Fido! (If Fido is like the name of your kid or grandma etc.) Wanna try some for yourself? Head to factormeals.com/yks50 for 50% off your first box!NordVPN - 🌏 Get Exclusive NordVPN deal here ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKSIt’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m sitting at the kitchen table writing this episode description and while it’s never a very productive place to do any work, it’s definitely a lot harder when your kids are sitting here smashing their chips on the table and talking about the origins of the word “fork”. I don’t know! It probably comes from some dead guy! On this very picturesque episode of YKS, we’ve got a new freak to love, an old freak to hate, and something called “Poopl”! Now that sounds like a jam-packed episode, and I just looked it up and it’s from the Old English forca, force (denoting a farm implement), based on Latin furca ‘pitchfork, forked stick’; reinforced in Middle English by Anglo-Norman French furke (also from Latin furca ). Great! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! The ONLY place you can get more Mike and JF! Unless you start hanging out at the grocery store or weed store and you happen to see us there and confront us with a little whistle and flag while wearing a bodycam for YouTube in the hopes that we start beating on you! Last week we went back to school once again to do battle with some elementary schoolers on elementary subjects, and made ourselves look stupid as hell. Most of the time we look really smart though. You could be smart too, by signing up today and enjoying our big brains at Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Rocket Money - Too many dadgum subscriptions! This is a modern day problem that calls for a modern day solution: Rocket Money. Rockets are modern, and so is money, so what I said basically makes sense. Let Rocket Money “blow up” that unused, overpriced streaming service bloat on your bank account, and reclaim that cash we all love to have! Try it out today at RocketMoney.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Now before you get mad at me for language appropriation for the title, listen to the episode. And get mad at my kid instead! I’m just kidding don’t email me about this or I’ll lose my gourd. Last time I saw him, he was in Vancouver. Again, this is a joke. On today’s episode of YKS, we are reviewing some funny ass memes, headbanging to the Abhorrent Stench of Flatulence, and discovering just what types of things you shouldn’t imply you are doing to your dog on a t-shirt you wear in public. Plus! A work from home solution so bad I’d go into the office, a guy who thinks he can make air travel even less dignified, and a cute little kitchen gadget from Japan that I actually don’t want. Insane…how do they do it?!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! THAT’S the place to listen to the real show…not none of this 2 hour long hilarious, informative, sometimes-mentioned-on-a-website stuff. We’re talking LESS runtime, LESS relevant, and WAY LESS informative. It’s the only place to catch your two favorite guys watchin’ videos, makin’ videos, and chatting with crazy guests. That’s right, we’ll NEVER have a guest on YKS Regular. They fuck with our flow! Check out our fucked up flow and much more over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - When the meals come to your house and they’re good and healthy >>> Get 50% off your 1st box code with the code yks50 at factormeals.com/yks50Athletic Greens - We simply must have our vitamins, gang! And throw in the nutrients as well, gratis. 5 free travel packs and a year supply of Vitamin D can be yours, if you sign up today at athleticgreens.com/yksFast Growing Trees - I am looking out onto my beautiful verdant shrubs, that I myself purchased, with a different style of “green”, from FGT, right now, and I simply could not be prouder. Unless you also did the same. Why not? Now I’ve heard of pruning trees, but pruning prices? Well, just go on over to Fastgrowingtrees.com/yks, where you’ll get 15% off, and tell me if that doesn’t make a little more sense to ya. NordVPN - 🌏 Get an Exclusive NordVPN deal here ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Yesterday I was in Lowe’s looking for an anti-siphon valve, and a guy walked up behind me also looking for something. It sounded like he was looking for the same thing as me, so I showed it to him and he was like “no that’s not it, it’s like this.” And that’s fine I was just sitting there anyway. So then the Lowe’s employee walks over and he’s looking around, and mumbling, and going “Oh that’s not good”, and the original guy starts saying how he’s just gonna have to order it online, and it used to be $5 and all this shit. So I get my thing and stand up, and the guy’s wife says “I think he has the thing right there. And it’s only $4.” So I hand it to him and he just takes it and leaves. What a loser! Anyway none of that is in the show today, which is mostly about Pasta Tools, Trevor Ariza’s Money, rap battles, bougie popcorn, and AI pens. Nothing about my triumphant Lowe’s story, though, unfortunately. Still worth a listen.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. For ad-free episodes, access to the YKS Pisscord, and a whole bunch of other crapola, you’re gonna wanna head on over to YKS Premium and give us a classic amount of money! By the way, the Pisscord is a Discord server. And I don’t really know why we call it that. Pretty stupid actually, but guess what. Smart people are in there. Let’s go bother them! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wake up Danny, I think I got some edits for you to do! We may have lulled our producer off to slumber land for this episode but maybe you can stay up for most of it. On this Oops All Holes episode of YKS, we got a revolution in online content consumption, a condom for your pillow, and the least credible AI-related project we have ever seen. So we got just one question for ya: how many winks ya gonna get…on this all new episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Oh please oh please oh please subscribe to YKS Premium! THAT is where you’re gonna get more YKS than you know what to do with, up to and including 6 (if it’s one of the Jumbo months) bonus eps, video, and more. And plus, it’s good for the environment. This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: HelloFresh - I like chicken, I like dinner, HelloFresh you are the winner! They make some good stuff over (pointing to big food factory) there so you can make some good stuff over (pointing to stove) there. Get 16 free meals + free shipping at Hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16Rocket Money - I’m getting sick and tired of these mother-bleepin’ subscriptions on this mother-bleepin’ credit card statement! But Rocket Money can help me get that under control. I don’t remember the rest of the movie so I can’t really do another bit on it. Luckily I am subscribed at the top tier to all these streaming services so I can watch it whenever I want. Oh wait! Save money on your subscriptions today at RocketMoney.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What’s better than a satisfying dinner (the 300th episode)? How about an elegant dessert (the 301st episode)! Then you can smoke inside the restaurant (the 302nd episode), go to the bathroom and throw up (the 303rd episode), and sit down for another entree (the 304th episode). That’s right, the episodes are courses! And right now, this one is “coursing” through the internet on the way to your precious little ears and lobes! On today’s show, we have the Return of Quikster, some AI crapola, and dole out the YKS Bump. Plus, a sponge you can pass down to your grandchildren! Isn’t that stupid? Yep. But that’s the show. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium..doo doo doot…it makes ya feel good! That could be kinda cool if we were to ever do a jingle for an ad. When you’re feelin’ low…just watch the show! That’s right, watch! Catch video eps of YKS Premium, exclusive mailbags and more at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Mt. Ellinor Candle Company - Whether it’s the Olympus, the Skokomish, or my personal favorite, the Rainier, this is one candle you will want to burn at both ends! Go to MtEllinor.com and use the code YKS to get 15% off at checkout.Factor - Morning, noon, and night, you’re eating meals. And they’ve never been more healthful or convenient than they have been with Factor. Soon, they’ll be calling you, “Mr. Meals!” Enter the code YKS50 at Factormeals.com/YKS50 for 50% off! Athletic Greens - I just got done with a little travel my own self and I don’t know where I’d be without my Athletic Greens travel packs. Probably would have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque! Oh brother, not again! I shoulda had my adaptogens! Get 5 free travel packs and a year’s supply of Vitamin D at Athleticgreens.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mike and JF celebrate the milestone in style with a look back at the episodes that were, looking forward to the future of YKS, and of course, discuss 6 Kickstarter projects in the beloved segment, The 6 Pack. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. We couldn’t have done 300 of these bad boys without your generous support, and it is my solemn promise that we won’t do any more if it stops! That’s right, this is a hostage situation…stick ‘em up! Just playing. But if I can be serious for a moment, I am a person of interest in many interstate bank robberies. To help me pay for gas money to keep evading the long arm of the law, and grab hundreds of hours of incredible YKS audio and video content, head on over to Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and reach for the sky! This week’s historic episode of YKS is sponsored by:Fast Growing Trees - It’s springtime! And all is in bloom….except, uh, some of the stuff I killed this year. But Fast Growing Trees is coming to the rescue with all the ground cover, shrubbery, and beautiful foliage I could ever want. Nandina, Laurel, Arbor Vitae…the gang’s all here! In my yard! Go to FastGrowingTrees.com/YKS, drop in that email, nab 15% off your entire purchase, and get growin’! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Two hundred ninety nine episodes…each one funnier than the last. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! You gotta subscribe to it to get the shows. And the shows are what you want to listen to, because they’re good. And you want to listen to good stuff because it’s fun. And you like fun stuff because, uh, it’s good. I don’t know how far to go with this. It probably has to do with serotonin, which I think is like a molecule or something. Help your molecules. Subscribe to YKS Premium. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor – I would eat Factor meals for every meal if I could. Actually I guess I could. But that wouldn’t leave room for my much-reviled “Hot Dog Salad” I simply can’t do without. For the other 99 meals a week, I’m going with Factor – for healthy, simple, and delicious meals that just won’t quit! Go to FactorMeals.com/YKS50 to get 50% off your first box!Rocket Money - We’re all tired of saving money. That’s why I love spending tons of money on subscriptions I forgot about long ago. Oh wait, that would be insane! That’s where Rocket Money comes in. Trim the fat and cut the crap, with Rocket Money! RocketMoney.com/yksAthleticGreens - Vitamins are grand…but what if they tasted good and were actually easy to take? And affordable, also? Some thought it couldn’t be done. But Athletic Greens knew better. And here comes AG1 to disrupt the entire supplement industry! Wow! Go to AthleticGreens.com/yks for a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

HEADS UP: The first Kickstarter this week is nasty and stupid. Just letting you know. The funny part comes in when we turn our critical eyes and razor-sharp wit onto the project, absolutely tearing it limb from rhetorical limb. It’s so brutal, some might say it was even more objectionable than the project itself…but ask yourself, does the lion concern itself with the feelings of the lamb? Hm, not sure. Well anyway the point is, we got a great show this week on the Ramp Up To 300! We’re talking penis pens, a beer holder that does (???), 3D-printed butt wipers, and more. And all you have to do to get there is sit through a stomach-churning, offensive, utterly unlistenable intro followed by the bad project I mentioned earlier. Oh and also some ads. Hope everyone had a good Easter. ByeMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! I wouldn’t keep plugging it if it weren’t so god damned good. Get more YKS the only place I can think to find it, and unlock the secrets of our damnable Discord server, at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks!This week’s YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:.Tech - You in tech? Well you’re gonna wanna be on .tech – the hottest and swaggiest domain for all of us techheads. Including YourKickstarterSucks.Tech! Sign up today at go.tech/YKS and get 15% off 1 and 5 year domains!HelloFresh - I’ve heard of eating your feelings, but here are my feelings on eating: it’s good! And HelloFresh makes it even gooder every single time. This week’s meals were a home run and I have my fingers crossed that next week’s will even come close. Only one way to find out…by getting 50% off plus free shipping at HelloFresh.com/YKS50!Honey - I literally just used Honey about 20 mins ago and it saved me like $19 on some shorts. That’s money in the bank right there. Get it for your own self at JoinHoney.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m running the self-cleaning function on the oven right now and it’s filling my home with, uh, let’s say, a normal amount of months’ old food fumes. So, I apologize in advance if this episode description gets a little WEIRD. Like Weird Twitter. Which I invented, by the way. On today’s show we talk about becoming the world’s most useless and thief-targeted Avenger, taking down Big Grease (damn it’s getting pretty hot and smelly in here), and what to do with people who have ever so slightly different senses of humor than we do, other than physically attack them while heavily under the influence of toxic kitchen fumes. So roll your lottery dice, blow into your car’s BAC monitor, and crank up the probably broken bluetooth radio…it’s time for another episode of Yes, Kitchen Stinks! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Farrarch may be over…but YKS Premium lives on! That’s right, we didn’t decide to stop doing our one job after an arbitrary themed month of movie content. Talk about heroes…Anyway subscribe today for just $5/mo and get access to hundreds if not billions of hours of YKS content…with even more to come, I would absolutely have to assume! Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Mt. Ellinor Candles - You know we love candles here at YKS, and it just so happens that we’ve got a connection in the candle biz now. Mt Ellinor makes the best selling candles I’ve ever sniffed, and they do it the old fashioned way: with their hands, while listening to an awful podcast. Somehow, though, they turn out wonderfully. Get 15% off your order of two or more candles using the code YKS at MtEllinor.com and support a friend of the show!Athletic Greens - It’s springtime, and many of us are running outside to get some of that classic Vitamin Sun. But there are untold other vitamins that simply lazing about in the grass won’t get you. That’s why I use Athletic Greens AG1: the scientifically complete vitamin supplement that doesn’t require me to breathe any outdoor air! Get 5 free travel packs + 1 year supply of vitamin D at athleticgreens.com/yksFactor - I want lunch, I want dinner, and with Factor, I’m a winner! The song I’ve been legally barred from performing in public really says it all. These healthy, quickly prepared meals are good and good for you…now that’s a tune we can all dance to! Go to FactorMeals.com/YKS50 for 50% off your first box Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well well well, if it isn’t the episode description. Didn’t think I’d see your sorry ass round these parts again. Now that you’re here though, I reckon we oughta make the best of it. Let’s put our heads together and come up with a way of describin’ this episode that feels both comfortable to a seasoned listener and appealing to any potential newcomer. Then when that’s done we can solve our differences the old fashioned way, mano a mano. Capisce? Alright. Well first off I reckon we got a John Wick parody film about wieners…Now there’s a rootin’ tootin’ gunslinger I wouldn’t wanna cross. Then later on of course we got a silly jacket that JF says he likes…guess Mike did the 6 pack this week that’s why that’s on there. Then…shoo-wee, wouldja lookit that. It’s some newfangled social media application I can’t make hide nor hair of. Well don’t that beat all. Plus a lot more inbetween. I’ll swanee, that there is one heck of an episode of YKS….Now DRAW you dirty dog! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. More YKS comin right up! This week we bid fond farewell to a banner month of Jesse Movies involving time, and who knows what April will bring! Probably some equally crazy stuff. Until then, enjoy hours of audio and video content featuring some of our favorite friends at YKS Premium! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Fast Growing Trees – I really want some trees that take forever to grow…NOT!! What kinda doofus…well, I don’t know, maybe you’d want that for some reason. Like as a prank? Well whatever, the point is, if you want some good lookin’ trees that’ll grow at a respectable pace and won’t blow your budget, FGT’s got ya covered…literally! Get 15% off at FastGrowingTrees.com/YKSRocketMoney – Subscriptions…they sure are convenient. But canceling them? Forget about it! No seriously, sometimes we really do! That’s where Rocket Money comes in. Get some help canceling those annoying recurring charges whilst kicking your feet up…at the pool perhaps?? at RocketMoney.com/YKS.NordVPN – EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey! We’re all in the metaverse! When ya comin’ by? And by “we” I mean, it’s like me, and a bunch of kids, and some drunk guys, and a comedy club. And we are just kind of floating around in mid-air. And it sounds really weird in here because we’re all on headset microphones. And there’s nothing to do. Anyway, can you spend like $400 to get in here please? Before it closes? Meanwhile, in meatspace, today’s show has got everything you need to remotely grill chicken thighs from down the street, force your kid to sit up straight with a screeching robot, and get the REAL news (from a Christian guy). Bzzt! Reminder! Download this episode now! It’s an all-new YKS! This episode description was written by one of the lowest-regarded free-to-use AIs. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. They say there’s no time like the present…but how about a present that is time! That is, more or less, what we’re doing over at YKS Premium this month as we celebrate Farrarch: Time Marches On, a month of time-centric flicks that only an idiot could love. Speaking of which, last week’s episode was all about idiots, as we brought in our friends Tom Walker and Demi Lardner to riff on the documentary Idiocracy! And this week on the show, our colleague in the “capitalism is bad” space Riley Quinn (Trashfuture) joins for, well, a movie about how capitalism is bad: In Time (2011)! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - When the Factor box shows up at the JF household…you know we’re about to go wild. Folks, I love my quick and healthy lunches so much they don’t even have to taste good to make me happy. But thank goodness they do anyway. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/yks50 and use code YKS50 to get 50% off your first box and join in on the “yum”! AthleticGreens - I’m a big fan of gut health; always have been. So when I found out about Athletic Greens, the slightly tropical vitamin and adaptogen blend that actually can improve that very same health, I was practically floored. But it’s true! Start your day the JF way with AG1, and get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D + 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/YKS.Tech - Got a website? Well you probably have a domain! Don’t feel bad if you didn’t know it, because frankly most of the domains out there are boring, bland, and just plain easy to overlook. Stand out from the crowd with a .Tech domain…basically it’s the “cool domain”. That’s why we’re on it! “Go” to go.tech/yks and get an automatic 15% discount on 1 year and 5 year .Tech Domains. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

That awkward moment when it’s Monday morning and we have to either go to work or pretend to work from home or just sit around and do whatever…Oh brother! I wish there was something to help pass the time but in a non-threatening, not super memorable kind of way! Well gang, good news. Your friends Mike and JF are here to tell you all about the metal detecting candy bucket, a subscription that makes video on your cell phone look worse on purpose, and a way to keep the beacon of patriotism shining bright no matter the weather! Plus a bunch of pieces of shit by some loser! So hop in the Nissan Pumper and race on over to your doctor, it’s time to ask if irreverent comedy podcasting is right for you! 200ccs of funny comin right up, on an all new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…your premiere destination for everything YKS: from the jeers to the cheers, and everything in between. Over on Patreon, Farrarch continues with the always fantastic Tim Kalpakis and the sometimes fantastic Rian Johnson, as we discuss Looper! And next week…put your balls away because we’ve got our friends from BigSoftTitty.png, Tom Walker and Demi Lardner coming on to talk Idiocracy! The documentary!This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Get.Tech - Tired of the same old domains? We were…that’s why we snagged yourkickstartersucks.tech! Join the tech club with the rest of us at go.tech/yks and get 15% off 1 and 5 year .tech domains!HelloFresh - We love foodmeals yes we do, we love foodmeals how about you! HelloFresh makes dinner so easy, even I can eat it! Go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks60 and use code yourkickstartersucks60 for 60% off plus free shipping!NordVPN - Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/YKS to get a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + a Bonus Gift! It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!Honey - Honey! The nice friend we all love who can find coupon codes for you! Grab yourself a toolbar buddy at JoinHoney.com/YKS and save some money on a new deadbolt lock. Or whatever else. That’s just what I’m thinking of right now because it’s what I did. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m watching one of those stupid pawn shows while I’m sitting here writing this episode description out, and man, are these the stupidest shows ever made or what? I mean I don’t know who is watching them, other than total morons, because they don’t say anything worth a damn and it’s so boring it puts me to sleep. Then you got the ads, and they’re even worse! Next thing you know, they’ll be asking you to subscribe just to hear even more of their inane crap? God, don’t give them any ideas. Anyway, call in your friends the Piss Whizzard, the Kickstarter CEO, and Billy West, and crack open a Pepsi of Shame, cause it’s time for an all new YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Some day the aliens will come to Earth and give us the power to experience funny ass jokes and moderately informative film criticism simultaneously. Until then, we’ll all have to settle for 3 boneheads making dick jokes and talking about movies: Farrarch! This past Friday we had one of the all time great boneheads Chris James uncork Jesseuary IV with a great flick, 2016’s Arrival. And just in case you thought we were gonna get any less boneheaded, we got our buddy Tim Kalpakis back for next week’s episode on the great Rian Johnson’s Looper! It’s a bonehead meeting, and you’re invited, only at YKS Premium. This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Vitamins…now that’s what I call adaptogens! With AG1 I’m getting all that stuff in one swig rather than 50 different pills and capsules and so forth. Pretty good! Get a free 1 yr supply of Vitamin D (good vitamin) and 5 travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/yksFactor - Meals and food! Meals and food! We love em around here, and Factor’s got some nice quick, ready to heat and eat meals they’ll send right to ya. Get 50% off your first box at FactorMeals.com/YKS50RocketMoney - We all have too many subscriptions…well I have the perfect amount but I have heard that some people have too many. There should be an easy way to get control of one’s spending, maybe with an app or something??? Oh well! RocketMoney.com/yksBetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Lois! Bring me one of those episodes of that show I like listening to so much. Oh Peter, you stupid son of a bitch, fine! It’s an all-new YKS! On today’s show we got an attachment for a vacuum cleaner even less useful than that stupid little brush one that doesn’t spin, porno puzzles, and a floaty that lets everyone know you’re a stupid piece of shit! That would be more than enough for one episode, but of course as you know we normally have 6 Kickstarters and I’ve pretty much only named 3 here in the episode description so there are probably at least 3 not as notable ones left to hear in the show. Plus the episode title is 1. So smash that play button and hear the last 2 Kickstarters we did this week, in addition to the ripoff Switch game. Oh no!! Crap!! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Jesseuary Returns. This March. Only on YKS Premium. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!HelloFresh - (To the tune of that classic hair metal song) Meals! Meals! Meals! Gang, let me tell you, we love HelloFresh in this house. Quick, easy, and oh so good, you can almost always find me cookin’ up a box of these good eats! Grab one yourself at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s Presidents Day! Yay! Now I know that every single one of these guys is bad for a variety of, but mostly pretty similar, reasons. And I know that in a best case scenario, at least half of the people who are even alive had extreme antipathy towards the guys from their lifetime included in this holiday. BUT. Well I can’t think of a silver lining here. Maybe you got off work. Probably not though. Well anyway let the YKS boys keep you company with this episode of their newest crap! We got a wearable universe, the return of those shitty watches from the mall kiosk, and honestly two of the most wonderful ideas to make money on the internet that I have ever seen or heard about. Check ‘em out today…just like ol’ Woodtooth Johnson, or whatever psycho this holiday is about. Salute!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! That’s the thing I’ve been meaning to tell you about. Because you seem like a discerning podcast listener who could use a few more japes, jokes, and j-can’t think of ones in their lives. Sign up today and enjoy hundreds of hours of outrageous bonus content that will feel like even more! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - I confess, I’m already thinking about lunch. Sue me! Today I will probably have my famous “Chalk Sandwich” but honestly I’d rather have a meal from Factor. They are good, good for you, and honestly a lot more convenient than putting a piece of chalk between two pieces of bread and gnawing on it like a dog. Get 50% off your first box at FactorMeals.com/YKS50BetterHelp - Therapy. Not everyone is into it. I get it. Maybe you’ve got some other things you do to keep running at a high level. What do you do, make a bunch of comments under videos of old hair metal songs going “I remember this.”? Well that’s not as good honestly. Try some remote online therapy with BetterHelp. And rock on. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks.Athletic Greens - I’m drinking my Athletic Greens right now. And yes that does kind of betray that I’m writing the episode description the morning that the show is supposed to come out. But dammit, I believe in transparency and truth-telling. The fact of the matter is, these adaptogens are good, and I am running quite late. Get a year’s supply of Vitamin D (one of the good vitamins) and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/yks. Don’t delay til the morning, do it now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Here we are folks, a Monday morning in many parts of the world, and we’re all thinking one thing: it’s time to listen to some guys on a podcast talk about their feelings. That is, if their toxically masculine producer (currently using a laptop on the toilet) will allow it! On today’s show, we get real, and we’re talking about loving lamp, introducing you to the MyThings ecosystem, and of course, not making a single mistake! Plus we’ve got another beautiful couple (boo!) with a questionable business venture, a water bottle that can do one of the main things I would probably not ask a water bottle to ever do, and basically the “final boss” of annoying Kickstarter video songs. This sounds like an episode worthy of being number 290, don’t you think? Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Everyone was so mad when we didn’t do Jesseuary this month – and guess what, I get it! I’m mad at me, too! Punish us good by signing up for YKS Premium…it’s the only way we’ll learn! This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Rocket Money - We all have too many subscriptions. I’ve heard of some people who are actually getting bugs delivered to their houses every month. Really??? Well no, but you can imagine if they did. And that says a lot about society. Eliminate unnecessary subscriptions, like BugMail, with Rocket Money. RocketMoney.com/YKSBetterHelp - We all could use a little help sometimes. But it would be nice if the help was from an empathetic, qualified professional. I’ve been talking to a cuff! Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/yksHoney - Coupon codes…friend AND foe? Where are they when we need them! Hiding, like the cowards they are. Smoke ‘em out of their holes, with Honey! JoinHoney.com/YKSNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A new YKS! That’s Pawesome! On today’s show, we’re doing a little fashion show with a guy who I would say seems to be making an actionable threat on our lives, a cell phone app that somehow is even more annoying than being normal called on the phone, and the devastating story of a 6 year old’s dream to run a bandsaw for pwesident twump! And we did it all without Producer Dan! Let’s all prove that anything is possible, and that two guys who have been doing this for several years know how to make a show kind of! Now that’s Bark-some! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan (even when he’s sick!). Yes, you heard right, Jesseuary has moved to March! But don’t fret, because we’ve got a great month planned over on YKS Premium. This week, we’re joined by Aaron and Stefan from I Hate This Team for an iced-out edition of YKScapades! This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Athletic Greens - Green is one of the primary colors. And one of the primary things you need in your body is vitamins. But where to get them, what kind to get, it’s crazy, and you’d probably have to get a degree in Vitaminology to figure it out. Well not anymore, because Athletic Greens AG1 put ‘em all together and all ya gotta do is sip. Get a free 1 year supply Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKSFactor - There are a lot of factors when it comes to meeting our goals, and oh my god I just realized why the company is called that. It’s important to be curious about the world around you, folks. Sometimes you learn something. And sometimes you eat something really good! Like a delicious, healthful, ready to eat meal delivered straight to your doorstep, with Factor. Get it?? Get 50% off your first box at FactorMEALS.com/YKS50 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Back in the day, things just seemed a lot simpler, didn't they? You made your own card games to sell on Kickstarter, you dookied on a leaf in the woods, and could put your hand right on the shopping buggies! But not anymore. We've all taken the high heels off, gone woke, and turned our brains to hamburger. All to satisfy our Kinky Kravings! And just when you think it can't get any more HORNY, here comes a new YKS down the pike! So grab a hot wire, download this ep and get your first dub in a while! It's YKS time, baby!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium...They're more than great coats! That's just a fun reference to an old commercial from the 1990s. And really, when you get down to it, a reference to an old commercial is basically content. Basically Content -- That's the YKS Premium motto, and never before has it been more true than this past week's episode, in which we debuted the Night of 1000 Segments! It was kind of a fun deconstruction of podcasting which skewered the format while also having some funny songs about poop in it. All that and hundreds of hours of similarly highbrow content, with video, and more, available now at Patreon.com/YourKickstartersucks.This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:NordVPN -- EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everyone it’s time to write the episode description for YKS: Your Kickstarter Sucks. The key to this is to have basically a paragraph of things that show up below the episode file and are only accidentally seen when someone inadvertently swipes their finger on the screen in a weird way. As a result, it doesn’t make any difference what I actually write. Like this! Wahoo! On this week’s show, we got a new way to do something with a bug, one guy trying to convince his wife and himself that he’s not stupid for running into the garage with his bike on top of his car, and a way to be even ruder to restaurant servers! It’s about fucking time!! I was going to start shitting in my seat!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Need 100% more YKS in your life? (Kevin Harlan voice) Yes! That’s why they invented YKS Premium. Get a bonus episode every week and more, for just a little shitdick fuck piss $5 a month!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor – When it comes to getting food in your system, it’s hard to beat the convenience of meals. That is, unless, you get someone else to cook the meals for you and send them right to your door. But that could never happen, right??? Get 60% off your first box at Factor75.com/YKS60BetterHelp – Now this is nice. It says here you can now, through the advent of modern computer technology, Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well it’s YKS time and don’t ya know, that’s basically the Mike and JF show! We don’t really need to be reworking the theme song lyrics on the fly like that but, hey, just goes to show, writing songs is easy. I’m thinking whichever of the Hank Williamses is alive and not problematic for the performance. There’s gotta be one, right? Right?!? On today’s show we have one of the dead and very problematic Hank Williamses, some breaking Nashville Foodie News, Foreskin Gloves, and oh yeah, it’s MIKE’S BIRTHDAY! That means only one thing…Bring it in guys!!! *Every serial inventor from every business school, scammer, crazy scientist, board game guy, Fish Lord, dropshipper, ukulele player, and offensive board game enthusiast come in with everything for a HUGE episode*Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. For ad-free episodes and more, check out YKS Premium! Annual subscriptions get you a free month, and monthly subscriptions get you every month not for free, which makes sense really. At least 5 bonus episodes a month, plus video, and if that’s not enough Mike and JF for ya I really god damn don’t know what I can do to help cause I gotta putter around and eat dinner and stuff. This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens – Think of your body like a well-oiled machine. You wouldn’t run your machine without adaptogens, would ya? Didn’t think so. Well Athletic Greens has got em, and then some! Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKSHelloFresh – My wife was so happy when our HelloFresh box came in this weekend that she coulda kissed me! She didn’t, cause I was sick with Covid. But she could have! And that’s what counts. Get 21 meals plus free shipping at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks21NordVPN – EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We recorded this episode on January 6th, which was a very important day in history. Actually I don’t think we did. Or maybe we did, I’m not sure. But, did you see how easily you can be manipulated by the media? Let that be a lesson to you, and to the January 6th guys, and I don’t know, like, people from everywhere in the world or other planets and stuff. Wow. This sounds like an important episode. And it is! Because on this episode we’re talkin Fartcars, Bible vibes, and Brain Hacks. And don’t say we’re the brain hacks. We’re good guys! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Regular…nice, nice. But I wish there was more of a luxury experience, suited for only those with the most discriminating podcast taste buds. You are in luck! There probably is. But if you can’t find it, check out YKS Premium, the place for even more Mike and JF. Decent consolation prize??This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Honey – Coupon Codes…as a frequent shopper, they’re something of a white whale for me. And Honey has helped me spear them. Or whatever happens in the book I’m sorry I don’t remember. Get it yourself at JoinHoney.com/YKS – Savings ahoy!RocketMoney - I’m sick and tired of these dadgum subscriptions on this goshdang bank statement! RocketMoney wants to help. The average Rocket Money user saves up to $720 a year! Wow! I guess I’ll go to RocketMoney.com/YKS and check it out. Or you do it, I mean. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The first episode of 2023! I wonder what this year will hold. Well, first of all, hold this L. Come back in a few years and see if we’re still saying that. Plus, see if we’re still talking about the Lockhorns, the Splorks, and hey, is Mike still telling his little stories? Or did we all wither away like some shit that you just know would be very easy to wither…Ah, who can say. Except our friends and tastemakers, the YKS Guys. Gentlemen…Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Don’t like the ads? Well, send us a bizarre rant and then sign up for YKS Premium! We’ve got ad-free episodes, Discord access, and much more. Last year, we even had our friends John Cullen and Stefan Heck back on for our acclaimed (?) Who Wants To Be an Extreme Millionaire series, and considering their performance, it may be the last time they’re allowed to do any podcasting anywhere! Sign up today at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks.This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Green…it’s one of the many colors of the rainbow. But it’s healthy! More than you can say for Mauve, I bet. Let’s get some tasty vitamins and minerals in ya for 2023, gang. With Athletic Greens. Get 1 year of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs by signing up at athleticgreens.com/yksFactor - Healthy meal prep is so annoying. I was looking for stuff today and there were a bunch of blogs called, like, The Yummy Grubby and stuff. I’m done with it. I’m going Factor style. Get 60% off your first box at factor75.com/yks60BetterHelp - Laughter is the best medicine. That’s why listening to YKS is like going to the free student clinic. But there’s other kinds of doctors too, it turns out, and they can help with mental health! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look, if it’s alright with you, I’m going to take it easy on the episode description here at the end of the year. It’s the last one, I’m pretty tired, and you know what these things are all about. We said some pretty silly stuff in this one, and we did some Kickstarters as well. One of them was a Catholic board game! Isn’t that weird? Yeah we thought so too. What were the other ones? Well, there’s only one way to find out. Find me in public and beat me to within an inch of my life until I’m forced to reveal every single project in the 6 pack to you! It’s the only way! See you in 2024!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. We had a great 2022 at YKS Premium! 2023 is, presumably, going to be even better. Grab an annual subscription today and get a free month as a YKS Official Delightful Reward. Or, better yet, pay by the month but don’t unsubscribe at any point! That works out better for me, to be honest! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:RocketMoney - Coupon codes: friend or foe? Hard to say, at times. But with RocketMoney, the promo code field is simply a detente. Does that make sense? Well, who cares. Save some money for your own self at RocketMoney.com/yksNordPass - Keep your passwords secure, instead of insecure…makes sense, right? No duh! NordPass got there before you did, dummy! Nab 3 free months at nordpass.com/yksBetterHelp - Therapy is great…I do it all the time! And you see how I got it together. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wow, folks! It’s the last YKS before Christmas! Hopefully you have laid the 80s horror VHS tapes out by the old tube tv, taken one bite of the Delta-8 edibles and placed them on the Elvira plate, and filled up a cup with sour Gatorade. Soon, two annoying guys will be knocking on your front door asking if they can come in and use your bathroom! Will they be leaving presents? Perhaps! That depends on how you feel about a VR archery set, a new way to open up plastic bags, and a hat with a QR code on it that maybe orders a type of drink for you? Not sure. Who bought this crap, my weird uncle!? My uncles are all cool actually I just meant sometimes people have weird ones. I don’t know. Uncles take a beating around the holidays, don’t they? We need a day that’s safe for uncles. Uncle Day. We are looking into this very strongly! Have a good one. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This really is the season of giving…money! To your favorite independent content creators! In exchange for even more of their high-quality audio and video content! I’m talking, of course, about YKS Premium – the only gift Santa can’t give! We won’t let him on the premises. We have a restraining order against Jolly Old Saint Nick. He was pulling his pud over by my heat pump. Help us sue him into oblivion by subscribing today!This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Schedule35.co - Not all drugs are created equal. Some of them are from the earth! Microdosing psilocybin has some pretty good effects, it sounds like. Plus you don’t get all wacky with it, which is nice. So check it out and get 15% off with code YKS at Schedule35.coBetterHelp - Yes, lots of stuff is important. So is therapy. I guess like, gold is important? And silver? But we’re talking about therapy, which is so nice to do for yourself sometimes. And you can get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks. Use the savings to buy some precious metals! Faherty - One thing about me is, I love putting on my little clothes and walking around. And Faherty makes some of the best stuff in my closet. But golly I’d like to pay about 80% of what I’d normally pay! And with the code YKSPOD, I can! Because YKSPOD will get you 20% off, at FahertyBrand.com/YKSPOD. Factor - ME: I sure am hungry! FOOD: Oh how about me? ME: That’s a good idea. But I don’t know how to get you! FOOD: Uhhh, this just happened. Excuse me, I mean that just happened. ME: Wow! I’ll just type in go.factor75.com/yks60 to my favorite browser and then hit enter or return or whichever one it is. Then, later, I’ll eat food! FOOD: That’s swag. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look, the thing about the episode today is that we got a lot of ideas about hot dogs. And chicken wings. I guess we were pretty hungry when we recorded the episode. But when it’s YKS Nights…that’s just the kind of crazy stuff you’re gonna get! On today’s show, we’re visiting the Kingdom of Fufu, but just for tonight only! Plus, we got some corny shoe stuff not even I can endorse, a way to stay warm at the office that’s NOT setting the Foreman Grill out the night before, and finally saving Canada from the thorny grip of woke! Gather your Missisaugan friends around the iPad…it’s time to listen to YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Here’s an excellent holiday gift for the person in your life who needs to see or have some good stuff: YKS Premium! Get a free month when you pay for a full year – It’s a Christmas miracle! This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Schedule35 - Microdose – doesn’t sound like much, but studies show a “small” amount of psilocybin can have a “big” effect! Micro is a prefix meaning “small”. That’s why I said that. Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.coAthletic Greens - Routines are important. My morning routine is that I wake up, scream in the mirror, and down a cup of vitamins and adaptogens in the form of Athletic Greens AG1. Then it’s back to screaming. And I’ve got all the energy I need for a day of screaming. Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/YKSRocket Money - I’m sick of these motherfreaking subscriptions on this motherfreaking plane! Very possibly something you might say when signing up for a subscription while traveling on a plane. I know I have! Let’s get rid of some of this stuff together, with our friends at Rocket Money. What the heck – I’m paying $9.99/mo for Snakes? Rocketmoney.com/yksBetterHelp - I’m one of those guy who hears “therapy on the computer” and starts thinking retail therapy! No, but in all seriousness, talking to someone about your problems can really help. And I doubt they’re going to tell you to get a new coffeemaker to cheer yourself up. But I’m not a licensed anything, and I say, sure, if you like coffee, go for it. But do the other stuff, too. Get 10% off first month at betterhelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Damn my feet smell really bad! That’s not pertinent to today’s episode, but I do think it’s a compelling way to start off the episode description, because you start to go…hmm..I wonder if JF”s feet were stinking during the episode? Or, like did they maybe start to stink right after? And if so, why? Was he out running around without socks? Probably not, it’s winter, but maybe he rushed out the door to get the paper and stepped in a dog’s poop. But then you gotta wonder, do I get the paper delivered? And whose dog poop was it? He called the shit poop! Anyway on today’s episode, our werewolf values are under attack! So we go all the way in on another piece of crap landfill robot pet, luggage for people who miss Bird scooters, and a child’s idea. Equal opportunity offenders here, gang. It would actually be unfair if we didn’t do it. And, in fact, the mainstream media wouldn’t, so that’s why we have to. It’s important that we’re like this!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.I’m down on all fours beggin ya…check out YKS Premium! We’ve been on a “hot streak” lately, and last week’s Cool Cat Catch-Up episode is an absolute can’t-miss for anyone who likes weird little guys doing strange little things. Just $5 gets ya, on average, about 4.3 such Certified Classics per month, plus ad-free episodes and access to the YKS Pisscord!This week’s episode is brought to you by these fine brands:Schedule 35 – Mushrooms that make ya feel different, huh? Sounds good enough to build a whole kingdom around! I really believe that!! Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.co NordPass – There probably is someone out there who can memorize hundreds of secure passwords, credit card numbers, and other account information pertinent to business. But...it ain't you. That's why they came up with NordPass and gave you the "Normal Brain" discount! Get a 3 month free trial at NordPass.com/YKSHelloFresh – Meals...we all need to eat them and yet, where do they come from? Hard to say. Lot of them are plants, as I recall. And that's about all I know. I'm a meals amateur. The pros are over at HelloFresh! Go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks18 and use code yourkickstartersucks18 for 18 free meals plus free shipping to see if the stuff comes from plants or whatever it is. BetterHelp – Hey! You there! Like Help? Me too. That's why I go to therapy. But sometimes the hard part is the "going" part. So let's bring the therapy to you...just like your precious mail! Grab 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/yks and stop talking to your mail delivery person!NordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, Thanksgiving is over! All of the little cousins have gone on their walks, all of the uncles have done their politics, and all of the Karens have returned their half-eaten turkeys for store credit because they found a bird poop in the neckhole. Now what?! We all return to our schools or works?? And just sit there without eating a bunch of bread?? This sucks! Yeah, it does. That’s why they invented YKS. Hey, maybe this will kind of suck a little bit less. And if not, hey, free poop in the neckhole. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.More YKS! Many people are saying it. And many people are getting it as well, by going to Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks! Find bonus episodes, hundreds of hours of video, merch discounts, and more at the URL at the end of the previous sentence. jThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordVPN - VPNs are so clutch when it comes to cyber security, speed, and content. Don’t get left behind in the virtual dust. Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!BetterHelp - Therapy is goated. And you already know how I feel about going online! BetterHelp, well, they figured out a way to combine the two into one thing, saving time and energy and probably the environment as well. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksNordPass - Hey make sure your password has a number, a symbol, and a freaking recipe for the perfect macaroni and cheese to continue. WHaaa?? Coming up with these things is too dadgum hard, and that’s before it even comes down to memorizing them. That’s why we all need a password manager like NordPass. Get a 3-month free trial at nordpass.com/YKS with code YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.