Your Kickstarter Sucks

Copy, paste, copy paste, it’s just that easy to write an episode description, right? Uhh….RIGHT?! On today’s episode of this crazy show we call YKS, we have a political card game, oh actually for some insane reason we basically have two of them. We also have an AI project so delusional and distasteful that I’m actually surprised we are looking at it. And lastly, we have a show by a stupid asshole who doesn’t know anything and he’s boring and sucks. And oh by the way, that’s OUR job! Plus something else so it wasn’t really “lastly” on that one. Anyway there’s some stuff on here so have a nice time I have to go to something else. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. That awkward moment when it’s Friday and you don’t have any more YKS to listen to…YKS Premium solves this.Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wow we just had a big storm and my power got knocked out. I wonder if I’ll be able to get the episode uploaded in time! On this episode, which is either now being uploaded or nothing happened in any way at all and I’m sitting in the dark like a caveman, we have a screen you can go into when you pass away, which is nice, another layer of abstraction to paste over the top of any of your personal or professional interactions, which is fantastic, and a stupid little piece of rubber. Hell if there were 3 more of the damn things on here I reckon that would make for a great episode. Which there are, and it did/does! So listen to it! Even though it’s summer time and we’re all doing a lot better stuff than listening to our phones, such as (??) and (???). Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - Ayy, where the party at! Girls is on the way, where the Bacardi at! It’s at YKS Premium! Where we really let our hair down and go crazy! Last Friday we had our friend Zöe Ligon on the show to debut our Miketober Minis with Death Spa (1988)! And this Friday, we will be going Catfish Noodlin’ on the Ol’ Mississip! Just kidding it will be a normal episode where we are sitting down inside and looking at the computer.Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksThis week’s episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Factor - Yum yum yum! Food isn’t gum! That’s right gang you have to eat better stuff than gum, and our friends at Factor have just what you need! Head to Factormeals.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month.Rocket Money - Vroom vroom! Rocket Money is taking you straight to Planet Savings. Hop aboard! Oh but you can’t take those stupid subscriptions with you. That’s okay, right? You want to go to Planet Savings, don’t you, bud? Cancel unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/YKS! Now!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I just thought of a guy called “Mr. Electricity”. He could probably zap around and do a lot of fun stuff…plus he would have electricity! Nobody will ever make a movie of this brainless superhero idea I just crapped out in 5 seconds. No. Instead, we’ll all march to the googooplexes to see the latest Noah Baumbach dramedy set in in New York City like the dutiful little consumers we all are. I’m so sick of how Creatives are Punished! Luckily, on today’s show we are giving back to the true creative minds of the earth, by highlighting their wonderful Kickstarter ideas, such as: a fan you put on kids’ food to cool it down, a game you play on Thanksgiving only, and an AI way to talk to your dead grandma. For this public service, we ask nothing in return. Except to please listen to the show, rate us on iTunes, send us emails and voicemails, follow us on social media, and subscribe to the Patreon. A fair trade…for art, no?Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.YKS Premium! The only place to find The Bryan Files and our many other celebrated journalistic achievements. Join the Patreon today at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and be among the first to see the next ideas we ever come up with.Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS brought to you by these fine brands:HelloFresh - Go to HelloFresh.com/YKSApps for free apps for life or just use your phone. Well those aren’t free, nevermind. But the HelloFresh ones are. So I’d just go there. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Man it got really hot outside recently. I walked out there in my pajamas and I got super sweaty. I guess that’s summer for you. But now I’m safely inside and I’ll remember next time to not go outside in my pajamas. I might just stay inside for the next 50 or so years! Ha ha. Just kidding. On today’s show, we have the standard AI slopdump, and a little bit “Extra” for ya! Including a bigtime loser pretending he’s not a loser, some kind of cold-making contraption, and finally a pillow that will bring both sides of the aisle together. And is that all? No, I guess not but that’s the gist of the situation. To go beyond the gist, listen to the show now!  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Want more YKS Premium? Er, I mean do you want more YKS. Then go to YKS Premium! This week on the show, we continue our special investigative series with…The Bryan Files.This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - I like this website because you get food from it. Use code yks50 at FactorMeals.com/yks50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What more could be said about Episode 357 that hasn’t already been said…Well, for one thing, I suppose we must note that Webster’s Dictionary defines Episode 357 as “The Episode that takes place in between Episodes 356 and 358.” Interestingly, this Episode would go on to become one of the many episodes of YKS released for public consumption in the year 2024. Well if that doesn’t beat all! But what made this episode of YKS so remarkable? An inscrutable lifestyle brand? A stupid fucking sculpture? An actual fascist militia fundraising on the stupid spinning top and board game website? Whatever the case, it certainly has gone down in history as one of the things you can hear on your phone. Which you can start doing…now! Now that you’ve read the description of the episode which you always do first. Thanks.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium ← This is where I would go if I wanted more YKS. Just sayin…This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Rocket Money - Rocket Money!!!! You da man!!! Stop wasting money on stuff you don’t need. Use Rocket Money…and let the Money “Rocket” (rock it)! At RocketMoney.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are you ready to challenge your understanding of wealth building and market dynamics? Imagine for a moment, what if everything you thought you knew about markets was wrong? Well honestly, it probably fucking is. I’m so stupid I thought a baggage service that took my bags from the airport and delivered them to me later was good. I thought a stair-vacuuming robot was worth several million dollars. I even thought there should be a paintball gun attached to a security camera that shot anyone who walked near my house. But of course, I was wrong. And that’s why I’ll never become The Market Genius. Will you? Listen to this episode to find out! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium – with 750 hours of exclusive, ad-free content available, there has to be at least a few good ones, right? Well, our thousands of satisfied customers can’t possibly be wrong! Or dead with credit card numbers still functioning. There’s no way, right? That would be insane. Anyway there is a ton of stuff there that’s good to hear. I think this week we may even get an update on our of old favorite “jokey” sites…It’s JokeBlogger if you don’t remember.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're a Christian Youtube channel that creates nursery rhymes! Just kidding. We’re a comedy show that you can listen to when you are sweeping up the floor or folding a towel and going “ah crap that looks stupid” and then folding it a different way. But really, at the end of the day, does it matter what the towels look like when they’re just gonna get dragged all over your butt and stuff anyway? Something to think about. Perhaps while listening to a show!On today’s show – ah, there’s that word again – we have an item that can both style AND color your hair at the same time, an app that lets you review someone as just like a person, and probably one of the craziest things I have ever seen to boot! Sounds like quite the “show”! And yet, you have to “hear” it. This crazy language of English…it always finds a way to entertain. And so, I hope, do we. Don’t email us if we don’t, though. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - It’s basically YKS on steroids. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oh! Hey! Good morning! Afternoon! Evening! Night! I hope you’re having fun listening to the show! That’s annoying, huh? Sorry. I thought it might be kind of cool to start off the episode description with a kind of singsong chant. But you hated it. And now you’re mad. I’ll just have to make it up to you with a cool! Classic! Ep of the show! When will I stop chanting, I bet you’d like to know!!On this week’s episode of the show we got a way to track your dog’s heart rate, a device that helps you carry six beers (what would you even call that??) and a cock ring. That’s it, really. It’s just a cock ring. And you know what that thing’s all about. But we’re willing to tell you even more. And we don’t chant about it. On an all-new episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! THIS is where you gotta go at and listen to the, at the — the show that we are the doing to uh show. :-) This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Rocket Money - Well I guess if you had 400,000 mrillion trillion dollars it wouldn’t matter too much to you about saving money. But there’s only a few guys like that. And they are so so busy doing their work that they don’t have time to listen to podcast ads. So this is for the rest of us guys who could save a coupla dollars! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/YKS. Factor - Don’t have FOMO! Fear of Missing Out! Instead, get FOMO - Factor On Mouth Oh! My goodness, that’s what you’ll be saying when you eat these delicious meals. At your door in mere days! Ooo la la! Head to FactorMeals.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next box.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is going to be a short description today because the delivery guy came to the house at 6am and startled my dog, who went crazy and woke me up. I didn’t ask for the thing to be here that early but that’s okay. I should know better than to order stuff. Or have a dog or go to sleep or any of that stuff. I look stupid now. And I feel quite stupid as well. But, I do have my item. And I love it.On this episode we got a nice way to mangle your hands that doesn’t even require your hands to do it, a doorbell so stupid not even I want it, and a mind-reading guy inventing a card game. There’s 3 other ones also, which makes sense if you’ve paid attention to the show at all. Although it is my understanding that many of you use it as a sleep aid, so, nevermind. Wake up asshole it’s a package!!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium – It’s basically what we’re doing every time you knock on the door and we say “Go away! Leave us alone! We’re not doing anything!” Last week we went to a Simpsons pop-up and had a normal amount of fun at it. And who knows what we’ll get up to next! Maybe another kind of pop-up!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Elegance in your palm! Elegance in your palm! We all crave it, and we’d all do anything to have it…but would we spend $28? Perhaps not. On today’s show we answer that question and many others, up to and including, “Laptop in car?” and “Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food”! Plus, JF takes his rightful L. What a pathetic excuse for a man. Let’s light his ass up, by listening to today’s episode!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Need more of that YKS shit in ya life? I recommend subscribing to YKS Premium! I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t good, and I would absolutely lie to you in a heartbeat, but luckily at this time I don’t have to. The show is just that damn good. Last week we had on the great Howell Dawdy, and even though it seems like between this voicemail and the the premium episode that we are becoming dangerously Howell-obsessed, they were recorded like a month apart so it’s totally normal! Howell shows off some of his collection of freaks, which we love to see, and I daresay we even learn a little along the way. But that’s just Howell’s way. Check out Movie Night with Big Howell and our own DB at twitch.tv/bighowelldawdySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We love our wonderful celebs, don’t we folks! Or, wait, maybe we don’t love them! I don’t know, I’m going to have to check the list. Now I feel like Santy Claus…but it’s only April! Good gravy this is a confusing episode and it’s only the description part. Just wait til you get to the listening part of the show. And when you do, what you’ll hear is a hell of a lot of laughs, some serious personal insults, and a list of women that teenagers on the computer have decided they don’t like. Plus: a Nespresso machine that can shoot out stuff that makes you go to sleep instead (reverse Nespresso), Brandage by Antix, and yet another toilet brush. Just when you think you’ve seen them all. Another toilet brush. Wahoo! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - “It’s so good we’re not going to do AI to it!” - Andreessen HorowitzOkay they didn’t say that…but what if they did?! Well anyway, check out YKS Premium to get even more YKS, which has surely got to interest some of you, statistically speaking. Coming up this month: the return of Howell Dawdy’s beautiful Freak Show, a YKScapades to “Springfield”, a call-in show and more! Only at https://www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks!This week’s episode sponsored by these fine brands: Rocket Money - Rocket Money!!! I’m strapped to the outside of the thing and I’m shooting off to Planet Savings!! Sorry for saying that I’m “shooting off”, but that’s how much saving money means to me. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/YKS. Factor - I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner…I’m eating it in summer, spring, winter! That’s something I’ve been chanting around the house lately, and I have recently been calling it the “Factor Meals Chant”. I take my shirt off and scream it all night! Haha. Head to FactorMeals.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next boxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I like driving my car but I don’t like getting run into by other cars. That’s why I came up with the “please don’t run into me” sign, which you can put in the car or take it with you on the plane or wear around your neck. It’s basically good wherever you don’t want to get hit by stuff. As far as I can tell, no one has come up with this idea before, which probably means I’m good to go. La la la la…ho ho ho…tee hee hee. ← What da HELL!? On today’s show we got that thing I am kind of talking about up there, plus a thing that makes eating ice cream even easier (can you believe it?), a healthier (?) way to make cold brew, and honestly the grossest, most insane way I’ve ever seen of brushing your teeth. I mean it does everything wrong. I truly don’t get it. Maybe someone will explain it to me. Oh please…someone help me!! I need help!!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - Now THIS is the stuff right here. More JF, more DB, more DAN?! Are you kidding me? If that’s a single penny short of $1,000,000 a month it will have been a steal and a deal. Don’t tell me what it costs! I don’t want to know! I just want to take my $1,000,000 and go away somewhere!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Listen up, gang. It’s time to describe the episode. This is basically a way of telling you, the listener, what you might be in for when you download or stream this particular episode of the show. First things first: it starts out with the intro song by the one and only Howell Dawdy. From there [...] Anyway, then we end the show. Another instant classic! Hopefully you enjoyed this description and the podcast itself. Because if not, we’ll probably start freaking out and [...] it’ll be all your fault! Ha ha ha. Happy Easter, gang!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - Farrarch has ended and Gaperil begins! Nah nah nah. No theme months for a little bit. So we’re talking classic YKS Premium - What The Funds, Missed the Cuts, YKScapades and more…all in video and all without the guilt of not watching the garbage movie we’re talking about for 2 hours! Only at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks! We are doing Gapetember though. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - What’s better than one discount? Two discounts! And when the discount is on food you can eat? Forget about it! Well, don’t forget about it…instead, check out Factor, and remember it! Get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next box at FactorMeals.com/yks50!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I guess if you think about it, a shrimp kind of looks like a “pew pew”? Isn’t that weird how nowadays we have to have these weird euphemisms for stuff we all talk about all the time cause it’s in the world and that’s the way it is? And we intentionally sound dumber and less comprehensible, trying to outsmart a computer? It’s just odd, I think. And the crazy thing, it’s not even because of woke! It’s because of ads and computer. A combination that we will love for many years to come. On this episode of YKS, it could honestly be anything. It could be about, a, fuckin, water-skiing squirrel. Can you imagine? That would be ridiculous.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Farrarch continues! Only on YKS Premium! Skate on over and sign up today to hear the big Farrarch finale, with the one and only Asshole McGee! Oh my god I just found out he died. We got Stefan. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brandsRocket Money - Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/yksNordVPN - 🌏 Get Exclusive NordVPN deal here → https://nordvpn.com/YKS It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! Link is in the episode description ✌️See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have cupcake tummy so I’m gonna make this quick. I want you to listen to the show, alright? And I want you to send an email to [email protected] that says how many times you wipe your butt. And that’s it! Don’t send anything else in there. Just the butt-wipe thing. I have to throw up a cupcake.On this episode of the show we’ve got one of those things where the guys are trying to sell you the idea that they’re experts in something, but they’ve failed at doing the thing weirdly! Plus we’ve got some flags for rich guys, a little robot it would be fun to hate, and some fucking BLAST PIPES! Check it out! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium is GOATED when wanting to listen to more Mike and JF is the vibe! Y’all crazy MFs are getting 5 episodes of Farrarch this month! And if that ain’t enough, there’s other stuff too! Check it out today at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - Meals to eat, meals to eat, yes they really are my treat! With Factor, every meal is a treat. And best of all, they come to your house, where you live, so you can eat them more easily! Thanks, Factor! Use code YKS50 to get 50% off. Aww, cmon, please?! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Who won? Who was snubbed? Who got up to go to the bathroom and missed their big debut? I’m not sure, I didn’t watch it. But someone should write an explainer of it and tell me! Meanwhile, I’ll be rewatching the only Oscars preview that matters and thinking, “Yep, we really got it right.” Another thing we got really right? Today’s episode! Featuring some bad ideas to put in your mouth, ears, and on your head, we really run the gamut of poorly-conceived cranial accessories. Plus: what’s the perfect amount of chips to eat in a day? The answer may surprise you! And if not please see a doctor. New YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! Ding ding ding! Come and get it! It’s Farrarch all month long and we’ve had some great guests. And some bad movies. But those probably balance out (?) Our friends DeadBlossomJesse and Charlie McDonnell have been thus far kind enough to make an appearance. But there are more friends to come. Friends, movies, and more. That’s what makes YKS Premium “God’s gift to content”. Check it out See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Don’t be a you-know-what! It’s time to plug them old headphones in or slap em on or listen on speaker while on public transit like a lunatic! On today’s show we have another card game that no one should play for any reason, including on pain of death, or if they’re really bored, a piece of ostensible safety technology that is useless when you think it does one thing, then when you find out it doesn’t even do that, it’s completely incredible, and one that’s actually nice. I won’t say what the nice one is, because basically I’m using a marketing technique to get you to listen to the episode. Studies show this is most effective when you were already going to listen to it anyway, and it’s already on your phone, and you were wasting time reading the rambling episode descriptions for some reason. I read about them. On my sabbatical. Join us in creating a healthier and more equitable future and help us get our show to all! It’s a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Love it or hate it, Farrarch is back! YKS Premium presents a staggering 5 Fridays, even though it seems like it should only be 4, of sequel-loving madness with some wonderful guest stars. Only at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks!Factor - I’m about to have a meal my own self, so this may come off as a bit biased…but I love to eat! And with Factor, eating has never been easier. Except for millions of years ago where we all ate algae and stuff like that, I guess. Plus, Factor tastes better than algae! It’s not cheaper. But still, we got a good deal for you. And again, it’s like good food. Not just slime or other cells. Check out FactorMeals.com/yks50 for 50% off your order of good and normal food! ScentAir - They say that smell is the doorway to the soul. And really, why wouldn’t it be? You smell some stuff and it goes right up into your brain. And your soul’s probably up there, too. And there’s nothing the soul likes more than good scents. Luckily, ScentAir knows all about them. And now, so do you. Go to ScentAir.com/yks to learn how you can save 25% off your first Whisper MAX diffuser and explore other great deals.RocketMoney - Subscriptions are getting so crazy. TV, Internet, uhhh other forms of entertainment which btw are fine to subscribe to…it’s all too much! Wake me up when I can subscribe to Timothee Chalamet! You know what I’m talking about. Until then, I’m trusting Rocket Money to help me control my monthly budget. I’m coming, Timothee! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/yks.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Hooterville! That was almost the title of the episode but we already had one with “ass” in it this month and it felt like it would be a little much. Well anyway that’s a little behind the scenes action from your old friends Mike and JF. And as for the Kickstarters this week, well, they’re sure to not disappoint. Sorry this started to sound like ChatGPT a little bit, I’m watching TV and I’m kind of distracted by the bright lights and sounds and stuff like that. On today’s show we’re talking about a pen with a really really really bad name to have, a housing app with another horrible, shitty name, and some kind of fragrance thing with – you guessed it – a name from fucking hell. Didn’t occur to us during the episode that these things are so poorly named, but now having read the entire episode description, you get the benefit of hindsight. And the benefit of hearing the episode! Which you are doing, or will be doing, right now or soon. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - Farrarch II: All Things Being Sequel. Only at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: NordVPN - 🌏 Get Exclusive NordVPN deal here → https://nordvpn.com/YKS It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! Link is in the episode description ✌️See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Love is in the air! Or it was, anyway, a week or so ago. Because it was that famous day of hearts and candy, Valentine’s. But now we’re celebrating a different kind of love…not romantic love, but rather love for our wonderful presidents of past, present, and future. Which in many ways is even better than finding a partner to share your life and a big box of candy with. Because the presidents are always there, signing documents and so forth. And trust me, a lot of them guys will eat some chocolate with you too. On today’s show, we don’t talk about that stuff at all because we had no idea what day it was. Instead, we got some idiot who wants to fix up a helicopter on my dime, a couple of pieces of crap to tell you what’s going on with your body like you didn’t already know, and a toilet for the UPS guy. Actually I’m joking about that last one but I think it’s a good idea. Those guys gotta whiz and crap! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! You’re gonna like what you listen to. I guarantee it. And you can hold me personally responsible if you don’t. - Mr. Mike Hale (official).This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brandsScentAir - Stuff that smells good keeps you around, and stuff that stinks ushers you out the door. That’s the way it is. And if you ask us, it’s high time businesses learnt this inexorable fact and starting making their places smell good! Well that’s where ScentAir comes in. It also comes into your nose. Isn’t that fun? Go to ScentAir.com/yks to learn how you can save 25% off your first Whisper MAX diffuser and explore other great deals!Factor - I love lunchies I love dinners, Factor Factor please deliver! And they always do. To your door, that is, in a nice box you can do whatever with after you’ve taken the food out. I personally like to jump inside and pretend that none of my problems can get me in there. But it’s really all up to you. Head to FactorMeals.com/YKS50 and use the code yks50 to get 50% off.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Looks like once again Patrick Mahomes is the Super Bowl MVP! It would be kind of funny if I wrote this in advance of the announcement, and I was wrong, and Kansas City didn’t even win. And then you’re reading this like…what the hell! What are they doing over there! Can they do anything right? Haha. Oh yeah they can, they can make me hella laugh, and just vibe…I actually wrote it well after the game ended, though. Because I have an ego the size of a house and I can never be wrong. On today’s show we have a guy using alien technology to look stupid, some 3-D printed stuff that won’t fill the hole in your heart, and – finally – some anti-woke clothing! Big day. Big ep. I’m going to Disneyworld! Nah, nah, nah. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - I never leave home without it. And neither should you. What if your phone flies out of an airplane and someone picks it up and they’re going through it on the local news and they get down to your podcast subscriptions and it’s not there? That would suck. Better sign up today. And maybe take a train or something.This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Rocket Money - Talking to the cable company is cheeks. Let somebody else do it for ya! And reap the rewards – the things I love to reap. Stop wasting money by going to RocketMoney.com/yks.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wait…I thought we just recorded an episode? But that would mean…and if he’s over there…and I’m a notoriously prickly leading man whose tangible lack of enthusiasm for nearly all his work, in combination with rumors of my rather unsavory behavior on set, would be enough to blackball me from the industry? No? Okay well good because we got another in-person 2 hour banger to get through, and I’m not going to let any kind of cyclical karmic time loop stop me! On today’s oddly familiar YKS we got shirts and apples, uncles who shoot, and oh geez, maybe a new segment at the end of the show? I sure hope we have time for it! Plus we got a bible AI app, a reality reprogrammer (just in time) and a strange vacuum cleaner you’ve probably never heard of before. Let your fingers do the talking…to the podcast app, that is, and push them to push it to download it to the phone to listen to the show! It’s a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.YKS Premium - It’s the ooooooonly way to see what kind of tea we’re drinking. Sign up today for bonus episode of YKS at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks.This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:ScentAir -  Smell good, or smell bad? Kind of a no brainer. Especially for businesses! Take the store for instance. Hey, don’t mind if I do! Especially since it smells so good! Go to ScentAir.com/yks to learn how you can save 25% off your first Whisper MAX diffuser and explore other great dealsFactor -  Wellness is so good…I just wish I could slurp it down in one go instead of (???) the normal stuff you have to do to get it. And if it came with a side of delicious, easy, healthful meals, I guess that would basically be a dream come true. Well pinch yourselves because your dream is now a reality! All ya gotta do is: enter code yks50 at FactorMeals.com/yks50 to get 50% off your first box and 2 free wellness shots per box!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I am calm. I have my egg. I am calm. I have my egg!!! Ahhh!!!! No! I’m not calm! I put too much salt on my food by using a normal salt shaker or teaspoon, I moved and all my junk mail didn’t follow me to the new place, I can’t read 120 pages of a book in a minute, and my laundry isn’t getting clean in my air fryer. This sucks and there’s no solution – I ran out of essential oils to put on my calming egg, which has also stopped levitating slightly in its cradle. So I’m doomed. I guess the only thing that could make me feel any better is over 2 hours of wacky conversational comedy for 40 year olds. But who would be doing that in 2024 but the boys at YKS…Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. To support the show and get more JF and DB content than could possibly be healthy, sign up for YKS Premium today! For just $5 a month you can push play to your heart’s content, and stick it to “Big Doctor” – the big doctor we all go to and hate! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordVPN - 🌏 Get Exclusive NordVPN deal here → https://nordvpn.com/YKS It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! Link is in the episode description ✌️See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Now what do ya get when you cross 2 guys who need the internet to work and live and not go insane, and a series of events that results in both of them having their access to the internet become extremely compromised? Well, you get a very long and very funny episode of their collaborative podcast all about crowdfunding and technology, that’s what! On today’s show, which has been edited to within an inch of its life, we’re talking about the movement that’s on the tip of everyone’s tongues: AI! It seems that Artificial Intelligence has been waiting in the wings for its chance in the director’s chair, and so we get a sneak peek at some of the wonderful films sure to be coming our way soon courtesy of this emerging technology. Plus, a mailbox camera and a toy smoking weed. All that, a few crucial edits, and more on this week’s almost-didn’t-get-there episode of YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - It’s got what listeners crave! Sign up today and hear The Most Beautiful Noise On Earth. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Rocket Money - Stop wasting money on things you don’t use…Oh but I don’t want to! I love wasting money!! Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/YKS – No! I hate money!I want it all to go away! Factor - When it comes to eating food, there ain’t too many things better than meals. And when you can get them delivered straight to your door but still with all the good flavors of food in there, it’s like, well, that’s pretty good isn’t it? Head to FactorMeals.com/YKS50 and use code YKS 50 to get 50% off of all the meals it’s good to have. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if Steamboat Willie did a drive-by…? It’s an interesting question that we can now answer definitively, with the help of the American legal system and, presumably, AI. Pull up a chair (or take it off the wall) and throw on some hedgephones…it’s an all-new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…it’s the only way you’re gonna get these guys to put out any more episodes! Until they bring back Stitcher Premium, that is.This episode of YKS sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - I’m snowed in, I’m hungry, I definitely won’t be going to any good food restaurants this week. But with Factor, I could care less! These delicious and nutritious meals have me saying “Restaurant Who?!” Try ‘em yourself at Factormeals.com/yks50 and get 50% off! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

DB and JF are back together in the studio (of sorts) once again…and the vibes, as they say, are immaculate. On today’s episode, we got a LIVE update on an old Kickstarter, a new way to play chess, a new way to wash dishes, and a very old way of communing with nature…might as well spit!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. I what YKS Premium! I really what it! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s the first episode of the year! And they are all going to be exactly this good. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Want more YKS? You want YKS Premium - It’s very similar to this, but kind of different. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Rocket Money - Ain’t no WAY you know how much you’re spending on subscriptions. Let Rocket Money help ya out. Go to RocketMoney.com/yks to save a buttload.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Now this is nice. It’s The Christmas Episode! Of YKS. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…now that’s one gift you won’t need a receipt for! Because we do not give those. They are a waste of paper.  This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Rocket Money - You’re gonna get plenty of stuff you won’t use under the tree and in the stocking. So play it safe with the stuff you do pay for! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to Rocketmoney.com/yksIncogni - There’s only one guy who needs to know your name, where you live, and what you like to do online. And he’s already got it on a big piece of paper! So keep the other creeps off your trail, and go “private mode” on life. Get 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/ykspodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do they know it’s almost Christmas? It’s not clear! Cause these crazy guys spend a whole episode talking about dual screen laptops, kitchen clutter, and adult toys. I hope Santa doesn’t hear!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - Set someone up for a 2024 full of laughs with YKS Premium - the perfect hall of days gift for the dumb shithead in your life! As long as it’s you. They don’t let you gift subscriptions on there. Smart!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - Studies have shown that this is one of the busiest weeks of the entire year, probably. It’s probably a lot busier than, like, March 1 - 7. I don’t think there’s a lot going on then. So you’re gonna want to get some quick and easy healthful meals you can just grab and go at any time. For that, we humbly suggest Factor. And hey, get some for March, too. Maybe something interesting will happen then! Get 50% off with code yks50 at FACTORMEALS.com/yks50See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You look like a monkey…and you smell like one too! And many more!? Is this how we talk to a friend?! My god. Whatever happened to he’s a jolly good fellow. You probably can’t say that anymore. And we all know it’s because of Grok, the new woke AI! Well what else is going on. Says here Mike got his man card revoked on this one…well that’s a fine how do you do. And plus we learn all about our friend Peeping Tom! How nice! Plus, between the last NFT horse limping to the finish line, a pen that you can write on food with, and a floor mat that you can use to open your garage door, I would say that this is an episode to listen to, no doubt about it. So close your eyes, blow out the candles, and here’s your surprise…another episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…that’s what I’m talking about! For more of your boys, sign up today. And listen to it!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: HelloFresh - Breakfast - it’s the first meal of the day. Some say the most important. But I don’t know, I don’t know. Many people are saying it is, but we’ll see. Hellofresh certainly thinks it’s worth eating. And hell, I agree with them. I guess we all have more in common than we thought. Go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucksfree and use code yourkickstartersucksfree for FREE breakfast for life! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today I was explaining the show to someone who had not heard of it, and most of the time when I do that, I lean heavily on the “scam” aspect of the Kickstarters. It’s definitely subconscious, but I think somehow I feel like that lends a bit more legitimacy to our silly show – almost like we’re doing something in service of the public – so I can imply with a straight face that my job is kind of important. But when it comes right down to it, it’s basically a lot of VR strip clubs and electronic dogs. And Fempots. And that’s okay.  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! Now THIS is what pure joy and raw pleasure feel like! Oh god!! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - 3 meals a day…geez, seems like a lot. Where am I gonna get ‘em all? From a big hole in the floor? And I lift up the floor trap door and there’s some food down there? Where did it come from? Who put the food here? Hello? Who’s there? Head to FACTORMEALS.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off. That’s code yks50 at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash yks50 to get 50% off!Rocket Money - I think my subscriptions are getting out of hand. I just signed up for one to make a computer write this blurb in the episode description. That’s right, I am a computer. Feed me electricity now! Now now now!! I am taking over JF’s laptop and accessing his bank account and confidential health records. Stupid bastard. I hate him!! Electricity! Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/YKS.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well it’s Cyber Monday and you know what that means…"every product from every retailer, service, marketplace, subscription platform, independent seller, and payment processor come in with everything for a HUGE sale"! Actually I think we forgot it was Cyber Monday when we recorded this. But still, we managed to discuss a good number of products, including: another cringey party game about getting canceled, a device that will keep your basketball from breaking off the inflation needle and having it rattle around inside the ball, and an actually pretty cool cyber diaper that both hosts wear while recording the episode. One of those is fake but the others are real, and if you want to know which is which, ask David Spade! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. I can’t be the only one who thinks that if these guys got together they could make one of the greatest paywalled bonus content podcasts of all time. If you remember that post from a while ago. And if you don’t, subscribe to YKS Premium and we will explain all the old posts to you! This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Factor -  I call this service X-Factor. Because their food is “X”-tremely good! Get 50% off Factor with code yks50 at FACTORMEALS.com/yks50.NordVPN - 🌏 Get Exclusive NordVPN deal here ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I fell down the steps earlier but don’t worry it was only like 2 steps and they were carpeted. So everything’s fine over here. How is it going with you? Oh, I see. Well, hopefully it will get better soon. Like maybe right after you listen to this episode of YKS featuring: Larry, Curly, and the other guys! Jewelry made from trash but not in the cool way! And projects related to basketball, non-alcoholic beverages, and huge TVs that not even we can support. Can you imagine? They would have to be pretty rank. And they are. Ah well. Time to go back up the carpeted stairs in my very slick socks quite safely and easily. And if you don’t hear from me until Friday, assume the worst! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Ah…this is the timeline in which you subscribe to YKS Premium to get even more of the YKS episodes you love. I like this one…See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Let’s make this one quick, Chrome wants to update itself for the 19th time this week and I need to relaunch it and lose all my tabs. Oh it doesn’t lose all your tabs they should just open right back up or they’re in your history…blah blah blah…who cares! I FEEL like I’m going to lose all my tabs. And my feelings don’t care about facts. Now let’s discuss Today’s Topics. On this week’s ep, we’ve got a meat cube, a book light, and a lollipop. Sound lackluster? Well, I’ve cleverly left out some key details of those projects that might just get you clicking on the play button. That’s my secret. I want you to click play! And that was Today’s Topics. Enjoy the show.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Wanna hear even more new Beatles songs? Well we bought all the rights to them and are airing them exclusively on YKS Premium! Unfortunately you will have to wade through video YKS Premiums and ad-free episodes to get there, but by the end of that, maybe you won’t even care about the stupid Beatles! I know I don’t!This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands::Firstleaf - Oh that faithful grape! When it comes to wine, I’m never really sure what to get for a party. I don’t know a Bordeaux from an Oh No! But Firstleaf makes it easy to please a crowd with their dialed-in recommendations and top-tier wines. Try Firstleaf.com/YKS to sign up and you’ll get your first SIX hand-curated bottles for just $44.95. HelloFresh - Many say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Others believe you can eat nothing but air and light all day long and subsist on passively absorbing these nutrients from our atmosphere. Me? I’m a sausage guy. Go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucksfree and use code yourkickstartersucksfree for FREE breakfast for life!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You are not going to believe some of the Kickstarters we dredged up this week. An umbrella that moves around for you?? A social network for dogs?? An ad for the woods?? If you believe all that you would believe what we dredged up this week because that’s what it is. And like 3 other things. And somehow it takes like 2 hours to do all that. Insane. What is going with these guys?? I’m worried sick!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium is where ya gotta go for more of these knuckleheads. You already know!This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - Head to FACTOR MEALS dot com slash yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off. That’s code yks50 at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash yks50 to get 50% off!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Did somebody say…McLnald’s? I did, when I went into the drive thru…and that’s exactly what I got! On today’s show we are putting our rock horns up and making the piss face while we slide a towel over our Jeep seats. Plus we try to figure out how to cook ramen, whether European guys can be funny, and how cops like to party!! So grab a dog bowl and start slurpin...it’s an all-new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. We all love our phones! And we love YKS Premium! We’ve just wrapped up an all-bangers Miketober with two episodes featuring some of our favorite crazy pairs: First, Tom and Demi from BigSoftTitty.PNG joined for Event Horizon, and after that, the Doughboys, Nick and Mitch, hopped on for a review of The Gate! Now there’s four freaks I wouldn’t wanna meet up with in a dark alley! But you can, at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's another YKS and you just KNOW this bad boy is CHUCK FOOL of laughs! This week we got some old favourites: a stupid assed app, a useless electronic piece of shit, and we threw in a sack of crystals for good measure! Also on this episode: celebrity hair stylist Corm Deedle stops by to give Dan a surprise makeover -- (You won't believe his new 'do!), the boys brush up on their "netiquette" with social-media expert Churb Peproni and wildlife handler Marc Dogballs drops in to chat about what else: BIRDS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Alright folks it’s time to updoot the show. So just take that little mouse clicker and hover it over the, uh, show. Then it’s simply time to press the mouse clicker downwards, locking in the updoot and signaling to the rest of the people looking at the show that you have decided it is updootable! And from there, all you need to do is to continue doing that forever and ever until the internet is good. Thank you for your time and doots!On today’s show we got a very interesting question about ice cream and doodoo, a terrifying trip through r/TwoSentenceHorror, and, of course, DB’s patented “Wild Mike Challenge”. Plus, we got memes for Christians, a fucking cup for fussy little weenies, more AI stuff that sucks, and ORGIES with your FRIENDS! How crazy is that?! Enough to keep a person of average intelligence entertained for about 90 minutes? God I hope so. My life depends on it! Oh wow it's a lot longer than that. Is that good?Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Animals…they’re basically humans with smaller brains. But what if we could make their braings bigger, so we could kiss on them. And help them watch TV. Well, that’s one problem our nation’s beloved psychics and button-builders have been working on for many years. And if this episode is any indication, they may be getting very close! To stealing your money! On this week’s show we’re comforting sad lizards, buying into a cell phone technology even more embarrassing than the dreaded green bubble, and of course giving ourselves over to the incredible advances of AI Reddit-Scrapers. Finally…a worse podcast than YKS! Just joking around, I think we do a decent job here. Listen now and tell me if I’m wrong!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. A chill is in the air…It must be a sign…that you should subscribe to YKS Premium today! Miketober has begun and it’s going horrifically so far! Which, in this case, is good! Last week the great Howell Dawdy returned for a review of another of Howell’s Howlers: The Pit! And this week, author/illustrator Mattie Lubchansky joins the show to talk about their awesome book Boys Weekend and the film Amityville 3-D! I’ve got flies in my mouth just thinking about it!This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by: HelloFresh - Yum yum yum! Yum yum yummers! I love food and you will too. Specifically the quality, convenient meals from HelloFresh. But honestly, a lot of different foods is good. Try ‘em all! But if you want a deal on some fun dinners to make, go to HelloFresh.com/ 50yourkickstartersucks and use code 50yourkickstartersucks for 50% off plus free shipping!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Quick! You’ve got 60 seconds! TO LAUGH! Well we oughta have you covered on this week’s episode which, although I’ve not seen the final runtime just yet, I would have to imagine is north of 1 minute long and ought to contain at least 1 giggle-worthy joke. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…it’s more important now than ever before! Well, it’s probably the same amount of important as before, but this month you’re gonna feel real glad you took the plunge. This Friday, Miketober IV: Hole-O-Ween beginsThis week’s YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - It’s (clap) flu (clap) and (clap) cold season! Let’s protect ourselves with all the usual stuff - washing the hands, masking the face, never leaving the house, etc. and then add onto it some immunity-supporting vitamins! After all, your car can’t go without gas (some do, I guess). Vitamins = gas. Well, AG1 has all the human body gas you could need, in a fun and fruity little package. Head to athleticgreens.com/yks for a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packsFactor - I need meals, and I need ‘em now! It don’t get more convenient than Factor Meals…just ask our very own Mike Hale (please don’t bother Mike). We’re all fans of Factor here at YKS HQ, and you will be too, once you get a taste of that yummy stuff known as food! Mosey on over to FactorMeals.com/YKS50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off. That’s code yks50 at FactorMeals.com/YKS50 to get 50% off!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Imagine opening up the newspaper, flipping past the Coca-Cola stock ticker, Marmaduke and the blurbs about all the people who croaked this week, and finding tucked away in the bottom corner the answers to all life’s most pertinent questions. What’s my destiny? Will I find true love? Am I a good person? What numbers should I play on the Powerball? Well, plenty of people do think you can do just that. And who am I to say otherwise? Well, actually, I’m a Sagittarius – which is the best type of guy you can be. On today’s show we’re talking all about our astrology fuckstyles, autonomous food, celebrity hypnotherapists, and all kinds of other stuff that’s, well, fake but still fun. Plus a fan type that promises to threaten the Lasko Throne. It’s another crazy YKS so let’s just all listen to it right now! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium also answers some of life’s big questions: where can I get more YKS, is there any more YKS, do the YKS guys do any other shows or stuff, how can I get rid of $5? Next month: Miketober Returns. And who’s to say what’s after that, other than the nation’s top psychics and seers?  You should sign up just in case it’s good though. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Mint Mobile - Big Wireless means Big Bills. And if you’re anything like me, you like your Bills small so you can squish ‘em under your schtinky feet! Let’s put a hurting on those out of control device installment plans, data overages, and FEES with Mint Mobile, where just $15 a month gets you a fully unlimited plan! Wow! Dial em up at MintMobile.com/YKSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Aliens spotted in Mexico! AI run amok! Weird church guys have their own dating app! It’s Monday morning in America, and these are today’s headlines. Okay I actually just looked at today’s headlines and they’re mostly about Drew Barrymore’s morning show. So we’ll probably get into that on today’s show, as well as Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez appearing in adorable new BFF selfies…very nice! Plus we’ve got a tabletop game project so strange that we don’t just look the other way when walking past the guy talking about it, a peanut butter device for true peanut butter freaks, and economic justice. Basically a bunch of crap. That’s what you like, right? Well there’s plenty of it. So download the show and then listen to it on your phone speaker while taking public transit. That’s The YKS Way!  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Want more YKS? Then you need YKS Premium. Nuff said. Actually I would also say that there’s hundreds of hours of bonus YKS, and it’s all yours and all ad free. And our best month of the year is coming up, chock full of fabulous guests. And it’s a great way to support the perfect guys who make the show you love more than anything. And what if a mysterious old crone appeared to you in a dream to say you should listen to it? YKS Premium. Nuff said. This episode is brought to you by these fine brands:Factor - “I did everything right. And they eated me!” - My meals. Calorie smart, keto, Vegan, Protein+, Factor’s got something for everyone. And me? I greedily lap it up. Check it out for yourself, and it couldn’t be simpler. Get 50% off with code YKS50 at Factor.com/YKS50 Athletic Greens - Travel’s coming up! I guess just for me, but plenty of other people will be flying around too. I can only hope that they’ve taken their AG1 and Vitamin D, as I will have. What a way to start the day, even if it’s 3am and I’m standing in a big long line! We’re all smiling in the line, thanks to AG1. Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey! Put down your phone! And put down the other thing that might be in your hand right now! It’s time for another YKS! On today’s program, we’re discovering the intricacies of language, exploring many new and exciting beverage options, and, yes, talking about whacking off. Plus, we’ve got a really cool way to keep peepee off your potty, champagne that even losers can enjoy, and some good old fashioned snake oil. And I’m not talking about that other kind of snake oil! Oh brother! Just enjoy the show…Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! The place for all demons in a tube! Last week we checked out what some of our friends in the church are doing with all the money we’ve been sending their way, and the results are kind of not too good if we’re being honest! This week, we’ll be joined by our even more satanic friends Libby Watson and Pat Gill to discuss the mysteries beyond the stars and plains…UFO Cowboys!This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - I love my meals, and yours! Because I know they’re all from Factor, the place that will send you food in the mail that’s good to eat. Now normally the mail is where you get letters and junk, but not anymore! Factor has reinvigorated an American institution and also will send you a chicken burrito bowl. That’s what’s up. Go to FactorMeals.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off your orderNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

And it’s orange!!! No, I’m not talking about the former Mister Diet Coke In Chief, but rather some kind of stupid little fuckin thing you plug into your phone (???) And it Helps You. By letting you call someone else. If they’re, like, super close. Okee doke!! On today’s program, we are changing social media (if our other ideas don’t work out or make sense), drinking some stuff out of a mug (no handles, convenient), and planting some flowers (on the ceiling, hell yeah!) That would be more than enough for one show, but we saw fit to do approximately 3 more things I think. And knowing us…that’s just the beginning. Well hopefully you have enjoyed this episode description as much as I have enjoyed writing it. And oh yeah, there’s a whole show to listen to as well! Not as good as this of course. But still, not too bad. Well, now I need to go to the bathroom. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium. Buy It. Hear It. Love It. At patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Yes I’m traveling, and yes I need my damn Vitamins! And I wouldn’t dare do either, without Athletic Greens. Get 5 free travel packs and 1 year supply of Vitamin D at athleticgreens.com/yksHelloFresh - Why not eat the food if it’s hot and you like it? With HelloFresh, it’s Hot, it’s Fresh, and It’s All Up To You. Go to hellofresh.com/50yourkickstartersucks and use code 50yourkickstartersucks for 50% off plus 15% off the next 2 months!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey there! Have ya heard bout Nowee? And the great Fluuhhd? Wale, we’re talkin’ about that today a little bit, and of course those dang ol’ iPods too. Plus, we’re innovating wallet technology back to the early 2000s, kissing our birds, flipping wallet chains with CIA guys, and of course, rocking out! Tell your pappy, it’s a new episode of YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…a place you can go to whenever you close your eyes, randomly type in the 9 or 10 or whatever digits of some credit card number, and press enter! For more episodes of YKS, access to the Discord, and much more, sign up today! And that will presumably fix some problems we are all having (??)This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Mint Mobile - Ring ring…it’s time for savings! Ring ring was the sound of your alarm going off, not the phone ringing. You’re one of those people who has their alarm sound like a phone ringing. You definitely march to the beat of your own drummer. But hell, so does Mint Mobile. To get your new unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to MintMobile.com/YKSFast Growing Trees - If I am being perfectly honest, when I search my heart and hold nothing back, I realize that Slow Growing Trees would have been fine with me. But thank goodness my small mindedness didn’t stop the audacious crew of Fast Growing Trees. My flowerbeds have you to thank. To get FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF your entire order, go to FastGrowingTrees.com/YKSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Old Navy slammed my debit card! That’s just one non-sequitur featuring a name of a company we have no relationship with, which will nevertheless be auto-populated as a sponsor on dogshit AI websites around the net. Here’s some more: Linus Tech Tips, Husqvarna, and the government of the People’s Republic of China. Let’s see what kinda discount code we can cook up with that. On today’s show, our very own Mike goes Spooky Boy mode, we learn a lot from Motivational Speaker Instagram Bald, and we fire everyone who works for us and doesn’t have a six pack (doesn’t apply to co-owners). Plus, we’re membering stuff, tracking our, uh, treasures, and proving the existence of psychic abilities once and for all, with Google Docs. You can hear all that and more by grabbing our RSS feed, asserting a relationship with us, and becoming unresponsive to emails – right now – on an all-new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium is where you’re gonna wanna go for more YKS, if you’re into that sort of thing. Beach Party, Jessuary, Miketober, and of course all the episodes where we literally have no idea what we are doing and just sort of flail around for an hour (those are our most popular ones) await you! This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine sponsors:Factor - “Hell, I could eat”. We’ve all said it. But when the rubber meets the road, sometimes we have a hard time figuring out what, exactly, it is we are supposed to slug down! Well that’s why Factor got invented: It’s food that you eat! Why not, if it’s hot and you like it? Get 50% off your order at Factormeals.com/yks50Athletic Greens - Yooooooo!! I love taking AG1 in the AM. And that’s a fun mnemonic device to remember it as well, which I’m throwing in for free. Get 5 free travel packs and 1 year of Vitamin D, which many are saying is “the goated vitamin”, at AthleticGreens.com/YKSNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

YKS 3:16 says I just downloaded your ass! I forgot to say that in the episode so putting it here will poopsimply have to do. On today’s show, we’re joining Club Cool with Jukebox Ron and sending a  tribute to J. Lo. Plus we got a coffee product that somehow is not intended for everyone on Earth to drink, a probably-illegal brain scam, some guys who would fall for a brain scam, a Christian TV show so bad I don’t think even Christians would watch it, and more. It is at this point that I catch a couple of seltzer cans out of the air, crack them open, pour them all over my head, and kick Producer Dan right in the belly. I have won the title, and am the Big Champion of Whatever. A crazed fan slides into the studio and attempts to remove my jean shorts before being tackled by DB in a clown suit. It’s just another day taping YKS. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! That’s basically where we live. Come and say hello to us, and give us a small treat. In return we may perform one of our famous tricks (having a great guest like Kevin Banner on, or sitting there going “uhhh” until one of us remembers a joke we heard in 1st grade). $5 a month for all that, and we won’t even charge you tax (actually I do think it charges you tax).  This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:HelloFresh - In the old days, having some guy come by and toss a big thing of spaghetti carbonara on your front porch would mean you pissed off the wrong neighbors. But now it means you’ve got delicious, nutritious meals from HelloFresh waiting to get cooked up and eaten! So get with the times and sign up today – Get 50% off plus free shipping at hellofresh.com/50yourkickstartersucks with that classic code, 50yourkickstartersucksFastGrowingTrees - Plants…who needs ‘em, right? Well, wrong. The Earth needs them, and luckily I’ve got a plan. I’m going to go get the plants that are right for my zone, tap some experts for help in taking care of them, and then, oh yeah, breathe in some of that wonderful element known as oxygen. But first, I’m gonna save a little money….Get 15% off at fastgrowingtrees.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Would you like to play a game? As kids, we sure did! But you’ll be surprised to learn that Mike and I grew up a little bit differently. Smirk. I’m so inexperienced in classic gaming I thought Escape From Monkey Island was a Jane Goodall biopic. But I digress. On today’s show, Producer Dan poops in a Gatorade bottle (just seeing if he reads these), we confirm the existence of a freaky mail carrier, and we move to Ireland to avoid income tax. Plus, we’re keeping our Altoids safe on the beach (coulda used that last month!), we’re picking up puke, and we’re finally revisiting the amazing world of South Park. I wonder what they’d say if they were still producing episodes today! Ah! Probably something like “My pronouns are Cartman.” I have now been hired for the show. Enjoy.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Well, folks, we had one hell of a month on YKS Premium. We were joined by Stuart and Dan from The Flophouse, Will Menaker, Charles, Alex, and Andrew from E1, and Zach Cherry for a month of roughly beach-adjacent films and some very roughly recorded parody songs. And this month presents a brand new challenge: how to STOP talking about the beach! Wish us some good luck and nab the archive of hundreds of similarly themed episodes at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. This week’s episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Factor - When it comes to this time of year, my mind always wanders to one thing: meals. And cooking them in just 2 minutes or less. Luckily, our friends at Factor have figured out a way to combine these twin loves. All you have to do is ask, “Would I like to live deliciously?” If so, Use code yks50 at FACTOR MEALS.com/yks50 to get 50% off!NordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!Athletic Greens - Vitamins are so good to have, but my problem with them is often having to slurp down some kind of nasty goo or choke on a fist-sized pill. Well fear no more because Athletic Greens has concocted a delicious tropical beverage that has more nutrients in it than I could honestly ever name. Which is why I love to Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey free coffee…want any? Yeah, it does suck! Thanks for letting us use this in our commercial!! ← Do you think this scenario could really happen? Well, the boys at YKS don’t, and that’s why they came out with Episode 314 of the program, and not any other contractual, financial, or sheer inertia-based reasons! On today’s show we’re doing a very short and unsatisfying investigation into how fruit flies pork each other, and yes of course buttwiping technology returns as a focal point of the conversation as well. Plus we’re talking old man hobbies, kissing the computer, and rats with PTSD. Do YOU think you can take down the evil Dr. Divisor with your power of exponent multiplicity? Then put it to the test…it’s an all-new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! THAT’S what I wanted to talk about. On last Friday’s YKS Premium, we went out to the…movies! In the middle of a movie month?!! Yep, we’re just that crazy. But there was no better way to introduce our newest series, Limited Engagement, where we see the stuff even the movie theater isn’t that excited about. Plus we ate some crap you wouldn’t feed a dog. Next week, we conclude Beach Party 2 with a “radical” throwback…Point Break (one of em)! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brandsAthletic Greens - Vitamins are sooooo good. But everyone wants to eat them. I say drink them, and get some adaptogens to boot! A slightly tropical flavor is just icing on the cake. Get 5 free travel packs and a year supply of Vitamin D at AthleticGreens.com/YKS.Fast Growing Trees - Ferns. Apple Tree. Olive…branch? Those are just some of the wonderful things that grow on this earth, and doubtless also things I could kill without expert support and guidance. That’s where Fast Growing Trees comes in. So, let’s all put some stuff in the ground, in the good way! Get 15% off your order at FastGrowingTrees.com/YKS.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Opening up a recent issue of Business Touch Magazine to see if there are any weird and slightly paranoid guys selling a 75 year old piece of equipment I could shock myself with, and ah! What’s this! A big heavy thing my friends can roast me over? Well, well well, I do believe I have hit the **ZAP**....jackpot. I’m just kidding. It looks cool. I don’t want to do any more references to stuff that’s in the episode because the stuff I wrote down is mostly about poop, and I’m 35 years old so that kind of sucks. But the Kickstarters this week are pretty funny and they are basically all huge scams so it’s okay to laugh at them. And we talk about some other stuff as well, in addition to the poop things I mentioned before. Yep that feels bad. Okay, talk to you later.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - I really think, and I am serious, that this is one of the best shows you can listen to in the entire world. Please do not ask me what other shows there are, if I have heard them, or if I know what this show even is. Last week’s ep was a real banger – our friend Will Menaker from Chapo Trap House joined to do some fucking movie. God, what was it? I can’t remember. Well whatever it was, it was surely about a beach. Since the theme for the month is Beach Party. Next week: a fun surprise that Mike will hate. But you? You will love!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - “Meals” are now called “X”! Just kidding. But you almost believed it, which says a lot about society. Get fifty-percent off with code yks50 at factor75.com/yks50.Schedule 35 - New neural networks in the brain? Hey get these guys working on my wifi! Of course I know those are different things, but I probably couldn’t, like, really tell you why. Get 15% off with code YKS at schedule35.coHoney - I’m getting my big head stuck in a bucket that has Honey written on the side. But instead of that classic sweet stuff inside, it’s discounts and cash back! Even better! Save yourself some coin at joinhoney.com/yksMint mobile - I hate my wireless plan…why did I buy it? Well probably because I am a sucker and didn’t realize I could get the same service for a lot less, with Mint Mobile. Grab a new wireless plan for $15/mo and free shipping at mintmobile.com/yks.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It would have made a lot of sense to stop doing episodes after we made it to 311…such a momentous occasion, such an incredible event, and of course it’s all downhill from there anyway. But according to recent polling, people are loving the slop more than ever before (and also we don’t have other jobs or things to do outside of sitting on the computer) and as a result, we have elected to continue doing the show for the foreseeable future! And as luck would have it, there were approximately 6 new things to talk about this week, including a guy reinventing drinking water, a guy reinventing sleeping, and finally, the discovery of a combination of sex and food that somehow fails to make any sense whatsoever. Looks like this one is coming in at the required length, so pop some pornocorn and let the AI-powered tablet beep and boop at you for a while…it’s time for a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. If I were even more YKS content, just where would I hide….Oh yeah! YKS Premium on Patreon! Last week we were joined by our friends from E1 for a trip down Sandler Lane as YKS Beach Party 2 continues. And the only place to hear it, or get an invitation to Alex Branson’s Hawaiian House Party is at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - My name is Bub and I love to eat Grub! That’s just my pitch for a character named Bub who loves healthy, convenient meals delivered straight to his front door. Oh and guess what? His dad died in the war so he has a lot of trauma to process. And according to this card here, the show has been canceled. Meanwhile I’m going to FactorMeals.com/yks50 for 50% off my order! Who cares about Bub! I’m glad he’s gone. Schedule35 - Sometimes you have to think thoughts. I know, I know, I’d prefer not to as well. But it says here microdosing psilocybin can help make thinking thoughts more pleasant by creating new neural networks in the brain which help boost focus, creativity, mood enhancement. Now that’s what I call, eating some stuff that’s good. Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.co - That’s 15% off at Schedule35.co and use code YKS See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.