We Can Do Hard Things

Abby and Glennon attempt a Relaxation Intervention, which Amanda sabotages – resulting in a riveting discussion of why we can’t (don’t) de-stress, and how relaxation can help us ALL feel a little more human: Why so many of us have lost our playful, silly, absurd selves – and how we might recover them; The “Relaxation Homework” Abby assigned to Amanda; How over-functioners can channel their superpower into being fully alive; Why it’s not our job to ensure things won’t fall apart, but to accept that they absolutely will; And the one “tracking” tool Amanda will use to find more moments of connection.

Glennon and Amanda share why they love this wildly popular conversation with Dr. Becky Kennedy and how it radically changed their approaches to parenting their kids (and reparenting themselves). Dr. Becky Kennedy guides us through Attachment Styles, how our past comes alive in our present – and how to free ourselves and raise freer kids. 1. Why attachment styles are at the heart of our most intense conflicts (in ourselves and with others). 2. How to rewire our original mental coding (75% of which is complete by age 3), so we can have more peace. 3. How our physical and emotional attractions in adulthood are dictated by childhood attachments. 4. Why it’s never too late to initiate relationship repair, and the warning signs that we’re starved for connection. 5. How we can help our kids trust their instincts, use parenting as a path to grow in the ways we’ve always wanted to grow, and build empathy for our own imperfect parents. For our other conversations with Dr. Becky Kennedy, check out: 130. Breaking Cycles and Reparenting Yourself with Dr. Becky Kennedy 131. How to Raise Untamed Kids with Dr. Becky Kennedy 170. The Most Radical Way to Heal: Internal Family Systems with Dr. Becky Kennedy About Dr. Becky: Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and mom of three, named “The Millennial Parenting Whisperer” by TIME Magazine.Dr. Becky is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be and founder of the Good Inside Membership platform, a hub with Dr. Becky’s complete parenting content collection all in one place. Her podcast “Good Inside with Dr. Becky” – was one of Apple Podcasts “Best Shows of 2021.” TW: @goodinside IG: @drbeckyatgoodinside

Today, we celebrate the one-and-only Abby – and her rare gift of vulnerability and storytelling. Our favorite person on the planet – Abby Wambach – is going deep, answering the questions that we all have, but that only Glennon and Amanda can ask. Abby shares, in an intensely new and courageous way, about her lifelong pursuit of love – including her complicated relationships with her mom, soccer, her first marriage, queerness, and her “shadow self” – and why she has questioned her own lovability for so much of her life. For the other Abby episodes in this series, check out: 189. Abby for the 1st Time On Divorce & Her Unrequited Love 190. Abby’s Christmas Miracle: When All the Heartbreak Made Sense About Abby: Olympian, Activist, Author, and Co-host of the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast Abby Wambach is a two-time Olympic gold medalist, FIFA World Cup Champion, and six-time winner of the U.S. Soccer Athlete of the Year award. She was the United States’ leading scorer in the 2007 and 2011 Women’s World Cup tournaments and the 2004 and 2012 Olympics. Abby is the host of ABBY’S PLACES on ESPN+, in which she showcases what makes her beloved sport of soccer a worldwide sensation. An activist for equality and inclusion, she is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller WOLFPACK as well as the adaptation of WOLFPACK for the next generation, an instant New York Times bestseller. She is a founder and part owner of Angel City FC, the first majority-female-owned soccer team in history, and is a member of the Board of Directors for the non-profit organization Together Rising. Abby lives in California with her wife and their three children. TW: @abbywambach IG: @abbywambach

Abby shares one of her all-time most impactful conversations – delving inside the “wonderful, dangerous” mind of Tracee Ellis Ross covers: 1. Tracee’s go-to strategies to stop questioning herself, to pick herself up when she feels unlovable, and to tether herself to her truest self. 2. How she made peace with the fact that she’s “not everyone’s cup of tea” – and stopped trying to change the things about her that others don’t like (but she does). 3. Inside Tracee’s 50th birthday party – the honor of being “Fifty and Free,” and what moved her to sing her mother’s song in her mother’s dress. 4. Tracee’s recent personal journal entry rejecting the lie that a woman’s purpose is to be “chosen” – and how she creates a beautiful, full life outside the roles of mother and partner. 5. Tracee’s incredible view of friendship: How to be brave enough to become a barnacle in your friends’ lives, and to find your Cauldron people About Tracee: Tracee Ellis Ross is an award-winning actress and producer best known for her roles in ABC’s award-winning comedy series BLACK-ISH and GIRLFRIENDS. For her role as “Rainbow Johnson” in BLACK-ISH, as a comedic leading actress, Ross won the Golden Globe Award in 2017 as well as nine NAACP Image Awards. She was nominated for five Emmys and two Critics Choice Awards. Ross is the CEO and Founder of Pattern, a haircare brand for the curly, coily and tight textured masses. Ross recently executive produced and narrates Hulu’s THE HAIR TALES, a docuseries about Black women, beauty and identity through the distinctive lens of Black hair. Upcoming, Ross will be producing a ten-episode podcast “I Am America,” which aims to break through the noise during this divided time in our country in an effort to create space and to heal. TW: @TraceeEllisRoss IG: @traceeellisross

Glennon reflects on the episode that has been the biggest marker of change in her life in the last five years. Glennon shares from the messy middle about her new diagnosis and what’s next for her recovery. If talk about eating disorders and mental illness helps: Listen today. If it triggers: Skip today. CW // eating disorders If you have an eating disorder, you may find the National Alliance for Eating Disorders a helpful resource: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/. For other recovery episodes in this series, check out: 172. How Glennon Knew She Needed Help: Recovery Update 182. Glennon Update: Lessons from Therapy 194. Glennon Finds Her Healing Partner 199. Why Glennon Says We Should All Be In Recovery 200. Don’t Tell Glennon to Love Her Body

Join Glennon, Abby, and Amanda in celebrating, and closing out, the first season of the pod – and help them write the next chapter: What it felt like for Glennon to listen – for the first time – to her anorexia diagnosis episode; How their parents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary party showed Glennon how to stop performing and just BE; The crucial distinction Amanda is exploring between tension and conflict; Abby’s recent decision to explore her relationship with anger; and How to join in shaping the future of the pod. For the other conversations mentioned in this episode, check out: 165. Glennon’s Diagnosis & What’s Next 167. Tracee Ellis Ross: How to Make Peace in Your Own Head 168. Sonya Renee Taylor: What If You Loved Your Body? 216. How to Find DELIGHT Today (and Every Day) with Ross Gay 226. Enneagram: Why You Are the Way You Are with Suzanne Stabile

We all want tools to navigate (and minimize!) family drama. Today, Nedra Glover Tawwab teaches us how we can create drama free families: How to speak up for yourself when it feels like going against the group; Why confrontation is often the kindest thing; When, exactly, we should bring up conflict & when to let it go; The most loving way a parent can respond to a child in pain. For more with Nedra Glover Tawwab, check out: Episode 124 How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab. About Nedra: Nedra Glover Tawwab is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Drama Free and Set Boundaries, Find Peace. A licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert, she has practiced relationship therapy for more than fifteen years. Tawwab has appeared as an expert on Red Table Talk, The Breakfast Club, Good Morning America, and CBS Morning Show to name a few. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, The Guardian, and Vice. Tawwab runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and relationships. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her family. TW: @NedraTawwab IG: @nedratawwab

Today, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda dive into the Pod Squad’s words of wisdom: How to identify bad advice; How to stop “walking on eggshells”; When to not tell your kids you’re proud of them (and what to say instead); The advice about masturbating that Glennon can live by.

The Best Advice We’ve Ever Received Today, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda remember – and share! – the best advice they’ve ever received: How to honor your needs and become the ultimate expert of you; Why we all need a friend who believes in our greatness; How to encourage your kids to live open-hearted; And why Glennon’s truest thing is that she doesn’t know anything. Plus, we hear from two pod treasures – Sara Bareilles and Glennon’s 7th grade government teacher, Mrs. Yalen – on their best advice.

Time to HUDDLE UP, Pod Squad! Our most beloved The Soccer expert – Abby Wambach – prepares us for the World Cup, bringing us inside her personal rollercoaster journey through four World Cups: The real scoop behind her impossible, iconic goal against Brazil in 2011; The moments she will never forget from the brutal loss against Germany; How she *really* reacted when learning she would not be starting for the 2015 US Team; How we can ALL learn to lead from the bench; and What to expect in this year’s tournament. Plus, Abby delivers the pep talk we all need for this year’s World Cup. LFG, USA! About Abby: Abby Wambach is a two-time Olympic gold medalist, FIFA World Cup Champion, and six-time winner of the U.S. Soccer Athlete of the Year award. She was the United States’ leading scorer in the 2007 and 2011 Women’s World Cup tournaments and the 2004 and 2012 Olympics. She is a part owner of Angel City FC, the first majority-female-owned soccer team in history. Abby lives in California with her wife and their three children. TW: @AbbyWambach IG: @abbywambach

Today, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda delight in “Beige Flags” – the hilarious internet sensation that invites us all to share our people’s weirdest and most baffling traits. You’ll learn why Glennon changes her clothes 5 times a day, Abby sounds like she’s from yonder yore, and Amanda has a drawer full of washed out Ziploc bags. Plus, we read YOUR Beige Flags and debate: Is that actually a red flag or a green flag?

Introducing Classy with Jonathan Menjivar, a new podcast from Pineapple Street Studios. Classy is a collection of surprising stories, juicy and uncomfortable interviews, and engaging segments that explore the ways that class infiltrates our day-to-day lives. In the host seat is Jonathan Menjivar – a working-class Latino kid who joined the media elite and became someone who likes oysters, wears cashmere socks, and is very conflicted about all of it.

Laser-focused on her final World Cup, MEGAN RAPINOE chooses our podcast to go *deep* on her bittersweet decision to retire from her iconic soccer career: Why she is excited – and ready – to say goodbye to soccer; Why representing America is so important to her in this moment; Why she doesn’t believe in sacrificing herself for the team; How dissociation helped her on the field – and hurt her in life – and how she’s working to give it up. Plus, Megan explores the question: Does greatness have to cost you your humanity? About Megan: Two-time World Cup Champion and Olympic Gold Medalist, Megan Rapinoe is a fan favorite and one of the team’s most technical and craftiest players. A vocal leader on and off the pitch, Megan helped lead the USWNT to the 2019 Women’s World Cup Championship scoring some of the biggest goals of the tournament. Megan took home the tournament’s two top honors – the Golden Boot for top scorer, and the Golden Ball for the best player in the tournament. A New York Times’ Best-Selling author, Time100’s Most Influential People and recent Presidential Medal of Freedom award recipient, Megan is an advocate for equality for all and has been able to intersect her passion for humanity and authenticity. At the end of 2022, Megan and fiancé Sue Bird launched “A Touch More”, a new production company focused on promoting narratives around revolutionaries who move culture forward. The company will amplify stories focused on identity, activism, and underrepresented groups. TW: @mPinoe IG: @mrapinoe

We all have that one relationship that needs fixing… Today, Suzanne Stabile is back to tell us how we can use the Enneagram to improve our relationships and love our people better. She guides us through: How to stop misjudging and misunderstanding people; How to start respecting your own innate gifts; How to get rid of codependency; and How to get what you are missing – more thinking, feeling, or doing – in your life. If you missed our first episode with Suzanne, check out Episode 226 Enneagram: Why You Are the Way You Are. About Suzanne: Suzanne Stabile is an internationally-recognized Enneagram teacher. She is the co-author of The Road Back to You, and the author of The Path Between Us and The Journey Toward Wholeness. With backgrounds in sociology and theology, Suzanne has served as a high school professor; the first women’s basketball coach at SMU after Title IX; and as the founding Director of Shared Housing, a social service agency in Dallas. Suzanne lives in Dallas with her husband Rev. Joseph Stabile. She is the mother of four children and grandmother of nine. TW: @SuzanneStabile IG: @suzannestabile

Enneagram Godmother Suzanne Stabile guides us through: What the hell is the Enneagram and why does it matter? The gifts and struggles each Enneagram type faces; Why the worst part of you is also the BEST part of you; The core desire / fear that explains your behavior; and Why, if Suzanne ever needs brain surgery, she’s finding a doctor who’s an Enneagram 1. And we FINALLY answer the question: Is Amanda a 3 or a 1? (Also meet back here tomorrow for a bonus episode where Suzanne uses the Enneagram to fix our relationships.) About Suzanne: Suzanne Stabile is an internationally-recognized Enneagram teacher. She is the co-author of The Road Back to You, and the author of The Path Between Us and The Journey Toward Wholeness. With backgrounds in sociology and theology, Suzanne has served as a high school professor; the first women’s basketball coach at SMU after Title IX; and as the founding Director of Shared Housing, a social service agency in Dallas. Suzanne lives in Dallas with her husband Rev. Joseph Stabile. She is the mother of four children and grandmother of nine. TW: @SuzanneStabile IG: @suzannestabile

Morgan Harper Nichols is here today to help us – finally! – breathe deep and pay attention: What the hell is this elusive “peace” anyway? How to create your own peace practice How she has found a truer way to communicate than words How her adult autism diagnosis helped her finally set boundaries Concrete strategies to find peace even in chaos Plus, she helps us understand why we don’t need to add “Presence” to our to-do list: It’s already right here. About Morgan: Morgan Harper Nichols is an artist, poet, musician, and best-selling author of Peace is a Practice and All Along You Were Blooming. Morgan has also performed as a vocalist on several GRAMMY-nominated projects and written for various artists. She is passionate about art making as a way to connect with others. Her latest book, You Are Only Just Beginning is available now. Morgan currently resides in Atlanta with her family. TW: @morganhnichols IG: @morganharpernichols

Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin is back on the pod to discuss how we can all make sex more ENJOYABLE. She shares with us: How we can stop faking our orgasms and experiment with real pleasure; How to communicate honestly with our partners about what we want in bed; and Why masturbation can be an opportunity for self-exploration and reclamation. She also offers empowering advice for individuals recovering from sexual trauma. Plus, Glennon contemplates writing erotica. CW: Discussion of sex after sexual trauma For our previous conversations with Vanessa, check out: Episode 195 Sex Talk & That Night in Miami: Sex Therapy with Vanessa Marin, Episode 196 How Glennon & Abby Learned to Talk Dirty with Vanessa Marin, and Episode 213 Sex Fantasies: What Do They Say About Us? with Vanessa Marin. About Vanessa: Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin. Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve! TW: @VMTherapy IG: @vanessaandxander

If the word “negotiation” makes you feel tense and sweaty and like the last thing you want to do is listen to this conversation . . . then what you absolutely need to do is listen to this conversation. Because it turns out we've been thinking about negotiation all wrong, and today we empower ourselves to think about it differently. Mori Taheripour guides us through the top things we all get wrong in negotiation; the most effective tool in asking for a raise; the ways the vast majority of women undercut our own value; how we can best advocate for ourselves; and how to hold non-negotiable boundaries. About Mori: Mori Taheripour is a faculty member at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, where she teaches Negotiations and Dispute Resolution. She also co-founded the Wharton Sports Business Initiative (WSBI), a partnership among top business leaders, faculty, and students that generates and disseminates knowledge about the sports industry through educational programs, high-level student consulting assignments, global forums, and research. Taheripour earned her MBA from the Wharton School and her BA in psychology and pre-medical studies from Barnard College/Columbia University. She is also the author of Bring Yourself: How to Harness the Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly. TW: @MoriTaheripour IG: @mtaheripour

Jia Tolentino joins us to discuss how to finally accept all sides of you: Why your un-productivity matters most; When your shame is good; How to make your real life bigger than your internet life; How to let motherhood energize you instead of drain you; and How to stop scrolling in the middle of the night. Plus, we talk acid trips, the sorority rush that Jia and Amanda shared, why Glennon’s friends track Jia’s words – and whether Glennon’s mug shot will inspire Jia’s next show. About Jia: Jia Tolentino is a staff writer at The New Yorker, a screenwriter, and the author of the New York Times bestseller Trick Mirror. In 2020, she received a Whiting Award as well as the Jeannette Haien Ballard Prize, and has most recently won a National Magazine Award for three pieces about the repeal of Roe v. Wade. Trick Mirror was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle’s John Leonard Prize and the PEN Award and was named one of the best books of the year by the New York Public Library, the New York Times Book Review, the Washington Post, NPR, the Chicago Tribune, GQ, and the Paris Review. Jia lives in Brooklyn. TW: @jiatolentino IG: @jiatortellini

Glennon, Abby, and Amanda help us shed guilt through a freeing reframe inspired by a conversation with Dr. Becky Kennedy. Listen to learn: How to know what is true guilt and what is just the uncomfortable ickiness of defying expectations; how to hold boundaries in order to live shamelessly within our own values; and how to maintain empathy by staying with our own emotions instead of internalizing the emotions of others. Also, we need your help inventing a word for the “not guilt” feeling! Get Dr. Becky Kennedy's "Good Inside Guilt Guide," to find out if what you're feeling is truly "guilt" or something else, here: https://forms.gle/Aad1g5LSBNFZoXaN6. Check out our past conversations with Dr. Becky Kennedy, and the Dr. Brené Brown episodes we talk about today: Ep 170 The Most Radical Way to Heal: Internal Family Systems with Dr. Becky Kennedy; Ep 169 Why We Love the Way We Love: Attachment Styles with Dr. Becky Kennedy; Ep 131 How to Raise Untamed Kids with Dr. Becky Kennedy; Ep 130 Breaking Cycles and Reparenting Yourself with Dr. Becky Kennedy; Ep 88 Brené Brown & Barrett Guillen: Sisters Double Date; Ep 83 Brené Brown: What to Say to Get What You Need; Ep 49 Dr. Brené Brown: On Holding Boundaries & Facing Our Fears; and Ep 48 Dr. Brené Brown: How to Know Ourselves & Be Known By Our People.

Author Katherine May recounts the moment she – at age 37 – discovered she is autistic and recognized herself for the first time. Living as an autistic person in a world that often misunderstands her, Katherine shares: How the prevailing understandings of autism erase the lived experiences of autistic women and girls; The way autism looks and feels for adult women; and How she navigates social interactions and sensory overload. Katherine also reveals what she hears most often from people who think they might be autistic, which has Glennon asking: “Katherine, am I one of those people?” For more information about how autism may show up in the lives of adult women, listen to the end of this podcast, and visit Katherine May’s Autism Resource Page at https://katherine-may.co.uk/autism-resource-page. Don’t miss our We Can Do Hard Things conversation with Hannah Gadsby, who was also diagnosed with autism in adulthood: Episode 82 Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better. About Katherine: Katherine May is the New York Times–bestselling author of Enchantment: Awakening Wonder in an Anxious Age and Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, which has been translated into twenty-five languages around the world. Her journalism and essays have appeared in a range of publications including The New York Times and The Times of London. She lives by the sea in Whitstable, England. IG: @katherinemay

Logan Ury helps Glennon’s former husband and co-parent, Craig Melton, navigate the wild world of dating as a grown up: How to identify your patterns that aren’t working for you; how to know if something’s really a deal breaker; why dating in your twenties is like “start-up” while dating later in life is a “merger”; an honest audit of Craig’s online dating profile; how to ensure you’re meeting who you want to meet; and how Craig factors whether or not Glennon and Abby will like who he’s dating. About Logan: Logan Ury is a behavioral scientist turned dating coach and the author of the bestselling dating book How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. She works as Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, conducting research on modern dating. She runs an online community through her weekly newsletter — Logan's Love Letter. She studied psychology at Harvard and ran Google’s behavioral science team, the Irrational Lab. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband Scott. TW: @loganury IG: @loganury IG: @craigmelton14

How the hell do grown ups date and make friends? Behavioral scientist turned dating coach, Logan Ury is here to help us make dating and meeting new friends easier: how to identify what you really want; why we should stop searching for “the spark”; why we keep going after the same people that are wrong for us; how to talk to our kids about their first love experiences; why we need to have “other significant others”; and the eight questions you should ask yourself after meeting anyone new. About Logan: Logan Ury is a behavioral scientist turned dating coach and the author of the bestselling dating book How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. She works as Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, conducting research on modern dating. She runs an online community through her weekly newsletter — Logan's Love Letter. She studied psychology at Harvard and ran Google’s behavioral science team, the Irrational Lab. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband Scott. TW: @loganury IG: @loganury

In this deeply personal conversation, Kelly Clarkson – beloved artist, truth teller, and goddamn cheetah – joins us to discuss: How Untamed gave her the clarity and courage to divorce; Why she stayed for as long as she did; The lowest point of her life; What broke her heart the most in her marriage; How to recover yourself after slowly disappearing in a relationship; Her incredible new album chemistry; Embracing singleness; and Why she’s a stronger parent today. About Kelly: Kelly Clarkson is one of the most popular artists of this era with total worldwide sales of more than 25 million albums and 40 million singles. Her multi-Emmy Award-winning daytime talk show, “The Kelly Clarkson Show,” has been picked up for its 5th and 6th seasons. Additionally, she was the winning coach on seasons 14, 15, 17, and 21 of “The Voice” and returned as a coach for Season 23. Kelly is the recipient of three consecutive Daytime Emmy Awards for “The Kelly Clarkson Show,” three Grammy Awards, four American Music Awards, three MTV Video Music Awards, one MTV Movie & TV Award, two Academy of Country Music Awards, two American Country Awards and one Country Music Association Award. Kelly will release her highly anticipated tenth studio album, Chemistry on June 23rd. TW: @kellyclarkson IG: @kellyclarkson

We need more JOY. In today’s bonus episode, internet sensations corook and Olivia Barton delight us with their performance of “If I Were a Fish.” Plus, Glennon and Abby coach them on how to not let criticism keep you from sharing yourself with the world. For our other conversations about delight, check out: Episode 216 How to Find DELIGHT Today (and Every Day) with Ross Gay and Episode 217 Start a Daily Delight Practice with Abby, Glennon & Amanda. corook TikTok: @hicorook IG: @hicorook Olivia Barton TikTok: @oliviabartonhaha IG: @oliviabartonhaha

Glennon’s hilarious misunderstanding with a TSA agent she’ll remember 'til she dies; Amma’s delightful response when Abby rushed onto the soccer field; and the delight Amanda experienced the day she switched it all up by not freaking out. Today’s episode was inspired by our conversation with Ross Gay – if you missed it, check out: Episode 216 How to Find DELIGHT Today (and Every Day) with Ross Gay.

Ross Gay teaches us how to notice delight and joy in our everyday lives. We discuss: concrete ways to rediscover and capture joy every day; how to rebuild your “delight muscle”; how to dissolve the myth of disconnection between us; and how to “unknow” our people so we can delight in them. About Ross: Ross Gay is an American poet, essayist, and professor committed to healing the world through observing and articulating joy, delight and gratitude. He won the National Book Critics Circle Award for Poetry and the Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award for his 2014 book, Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude, which was also a finalist for the National Book Award for Poetry. A devoted community gardener, Ross is a founding board member of the Bloomington Community Orchard, a non-profit, free-fruit-for-all food justice and joy project. A college football player, he is a founding editor of the online sports magazine Some Call it Ballin'.

In the conversation that’s meant the most to Glennon, Abby, and Amanda – poet and spoken word artist, Andrea Gibson makes the bravest announcement we’ve ever heard. Andrea shares how to boundlessly, relentlessly love our lives by: paying attention to the only thing we can control; letting go of living in fear; and feeling less alone and terrified through it all. CW: Discussion of suicidal ideation About Andrea: Andrea Gibson is one of the most celebrated and influential spoken word artists of our time. Best known for their live performances, Gibson has changed the landscape of what it means to attend a “poetry show”. Gibson’s poems center around LGBTQ issues, spirituality, feminism, mental health and the dismantling of oppressive social systems. Andrea is the author of seven books, most recently “You Better Be Lightning”. TW: @andreagibson IG: @andreagibson

In today’s beautiful, vulnerable, and funny conversation, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda reveal what each feels most insecure about. Plus, Amanda connects with a member of the Pod Squad on raising a kid with ADHD and her shift that changed everything; Glennon talks about anger as a guard dog and her discovery while rock climbing on “vacation”; and Abby explains why retirement from soccer was one of the hardest times of her life and how she navigated that massive life transition.

Sex therapist Vanessa Marin is back and we’re digging into: why we’re (sadly and ironically) proven to be less likely to try new things in the bedroom the longer we’ve been partnered; how to spice up your sex life when things get bland – including how to find out and explore your sexual fantasies; how not all orgasms (even for men!) are created equal; and the TikTok sex challenges we should probably pass on. For our previous conversations with Vanessa, check out: Episode 195 Sex Talk & That Night in Miami: Sex Therapy with Vanessa Marin and Episode 196 How Glennon & Abby Learned to Talk Dirty with Vanessa Marin. About Vanessa: Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin. Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve! Vanessa has been featured in various major publications and has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker. TW: @VMTherapy IG: @vanessaandxander

For graduates (and all of us), it’s scary and hard to know the way forward. Listen to Abby tell the Class of 2023 (and all of us) the way! Thank you to Loyola Marymount University.

Trauma therapist (and survivor of marriage to a narcissist) Caroline Strawson joins us to discuss: how to know if someone’s really a narcissist; how to know if you’re more likely to get into a relationship with a narcissist (and avoid it); strategies for parallel parenting with a narcissist; how the brain and body respond to narcissists; and how to rebuild after ending a relationship with a narcissist. CW: Abusive relationships, self harm For more related episodes, check out: Episode 170 The Most Radical Way to Heal: Internal Family Systems with Dr. Becky Kennedy, Episode 169 Why We Love the Way We Love: Attachment Styles with Dr. Becky Kennedy, and Episode 142 Codependence: How to Stop Controlling Others with Melody Beattie About Caroline: Caroline Strawson is a Trauma Therapist and Coach specializing in helping others heal from the trauma and shame of narcissistic abuse. She hosts the Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast and is the #1 best selling author of Divorce Became My Superpower. Having been married to a covert narcissist herself, Caroline was in debt, lost her family home, and was at rock bottom with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Caroline integrates Internal Family Systems, Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting and breath work with positive psychology, to help others move from post traumatic stress to post traumatic growth. TW: @cstrawson11 IG: @carolinestrawson

In this unplanned conversation, Amanda speaks up for everyone who’s been labeled a “Control Freak” – anyone who feels like they have to hold up the entire sky for their families or businesses – when what they really want is to feel supported and safe. Amanda shares vulnerably about: how she became an overfunctioner, the blessings and curses of being one, and the practical strategies she’s using to let go – and what her partner is doing to make her feel like she can finally try to relax. If this episode resonates, go back and listen to OVERWHELM: Is our exhaustion a sign that we’re CareTicking time bombs?

For the first time, Glennon requests a one-on-one with our guest – author and poet Maggie Smith – in this deeply honest conversation about: how to tell the brutal truth without betraying our people, how to reclaim ourselves after infidelity and betrayal, how the shaming of women who dare to tell their stories keeps us powerless and isolated, and how they both have embraced acceptance instead of “forgiveness.” About Maggie: Maggie Smith is the award-winning author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful, Good Bones, The Well Speaks of Its Own Poison, Lamp of the Body, and the national bestsellers Goldenrod and Keep Moving: Notes on Loss, Creativity, and Change. A 2011 recipient of a Creative Writing Fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts, two Academy of American Poets Prizes, a Pushcart Prize, and fellowships from the Sustainable Arts Foundation and the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. TW: @maggiesmithpoet IG: @maggiesmithpoet

Glennon explains what she meant when she said, “I just can't find gender in me. I can only find it on me,” in this beautiful conversation that began with a question from a college freshman named Nick. Please revisit our conversations with ALOK here: Episode 74 ALOK: What makes us beautiful? What makes us free? and Episode 75 ALOK: How do we interrupt trauma? How do we heal?

Today, Abby, Amanda, and Glennon learn new ways not to be assholes. In this follow up to Episode 191 Why Etiquette is B.S. & New Rules for Living, we share Pod Squad wisdom about ways we can all make the world a less annoying place. Join us as we learn how to deepen our conversations with people by not saying the first thing we think of, spreading “tell me more” energy instead of “let me tell you about me” energy, and not asking “surface” questions that aren’t surface at all. Plus, we debate holding the door open for strangers, embracing bodily noises in public, and using “but” in apologies.

Embodiment teacher, Dr. Hillary McBride, joins us to discuss: what embodiment and disembodiment are; dissociation as survival response, somatophobia, and how to get more comfortable with fear. She offers concrete practices to stop blaming our bodies, and help us become attuned to our body’s messages. If you haven’t listened to Glennon’s latest episodes about her recovery journey and embodiment, check them out here: Episode 199 Why Glennon Says We Should All Be In Recovery and Episode 200 Don’t Tell Glennon to Love Her Body. CW: eating disorders About Dr. McBride: Dr. Hillary McBride is a Registered Psychologist, researcher, podcaster, author, and speaker, but she identifies most with being a mother. She has lived experience and clinical expertise in the areas of trauma, embodiment, eating disorders, and the intersection of spirituality and mental health. Her research has focused on women's relationships with their bodies across the lifespan, and her books include: Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image; Embodiment and Eating Disorders, and the bestseller The Wisdom of Your Body. Her next book – Practices for Embodied Living – will be released in 2024. Her CBC podcast Other People's Problems was listed in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal as essential listening. TW: @hillarylmcbride IG: @hillaryliannamcbride

Amanda’s epiphany on Alice’s school Picture Day about the destructive messages we’re inadvertently sending our kids; our forced pursuit of happiness in photos with our families; why family photo shoots bring out the worst in us; and why we should allow ourselves and our people to just look like we look. Check out past episodes mentioned: Episode 196 How Glennon & Abby Learned to Talk Dirty with Vanessa Marin and Episode 125 WHY ARE THERE NO PICTURES OF US?!?

Priyanka Chopra Jonas dives deep into: the night she fell for Nick at the Met Gala, walking her baby through their harrowing NICU journey, her strategy to make Malti Marie think she’s cool, and why accountability is good – if we know the right people to be accountable to. About Priyanka: Priyanka Chopra Jonas is a multi-faceted talent, New York Times Best Selling Author of UNFINISHED, and one of the most recognized people in the world. She is an actor and producer, with more than sixty international and Hollywood films to her credit. She stars in the new Amazon series Citadel and the new movie Love Again. The Padma Shri, one of India’s highest civilian honors, was conferred on her in 2016 and she was named one of the “Most Influential People” in the world by Time Magazine. She is a global UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, and a Global Citizen ambassador, and is involved in efforts to protect children’s rights and to promote the education of girls around the world. TW: @priyankachopra IG: @priyankachopra

Michelle Zauner on how to begin healing our mother wounds, using her sensitivity to deepen her relationships and be a rockstar, why she’s obsessed with sheetcake and winnebagos, and why she is still “afraid of her mental health.” About Michelle: MICHELLE ZAUNER is best known as a singer and guitarist who creates dreamy, shoegaze-inspired indie pop under the name Japanese Breakfast. She has won acclaim from major music outlets around the world for releases like Psychopomp and Soft Sounds from Another Planet. Her most recent album, Jubilee, earned two GRAMMY nominations for Best New Artist and Best Alternative Music Album. Her first book, Crying in H Mart, is a New York Times Best Seller. She’s currently adapting the memoir for the screen for MGM’s Orion Pictures. TW: @jbrekkie IG: @jbrekkie

What is gaslighting REALLY and what isn’t? Plus, how to know if you’re in a relationship with a gaslighter, the three types of gaslighters, and how to break free from a gaslighter and reclaim yourself. About Dr. Stern: Robin Stern, Ph.D., is the co-founder and associate director for the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and an associate research scientist at the Child Study Center at Yale. She is a licensed psychoanalyst with 30 years of experience treating individuals, couples, and families. She is the author of The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide: Your Personal Journey Toward Healing from Emotional Abuse. TW: @RobinSStern IG: @dr.robinstern

Is the most relentless question of your day (other than what do you want for dinner?): WHAT SHOULD WE WATCH TONIGHT? Here to help. Everything we’re watching, listening to, and reading on today’s pod: Yellowjackets, Succession, Calendar Girls, 90 Day Fiancé, and so much more. Let’s start a Pod Squad list. What are you all watching / reading / listening to? P.S. Succession Spoiler Alert! Skip through from ~20:38-23:20 if you need to!

Why Glennon respects “body positivity” – but it doesn’t work for her. What if every single thing we’ve learned about who we are is wrong? What if we ARE our Bodies? What if instead of trying to love our bodies, we could experience being alive on this planet… as bodies? If talk about eating disorders and mental illness helps: Listen today. If it triggers: Skip today. CW: eating disorders If you have an eating disorder, you may find the National Alliance for Eating Disorders a helpful resource: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/

Glennon shares what her recovery – leaving something you can’t live without – feels like: Almost impossible. She explains how she views recovery as an invitation to a great quest that improves life for every person who accepts it. If you haven’t listened to Glennon’s latest episode about her recovery journey and embodiment, check it out here: Episode 194 Glennon Finds Her Healing Partner. If talk about eating disorders and mental illness helps: Listen today. If it triggers: Skip today. CW: eating disorders If you have an eating disorder, you may find the National Alliance for Eating Disorders a helpful resource: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/

Julia Louis-Dreyfus joins us to dive deep into: going to therapy with her 87-year-old mom, how to love adult kids well, the metaphor that got her through breast cancer, and why we should all be excited about getting older. About Julia: Julia Louis-Dreyfus is one of Hollywood’s most influential, iconic actors and producers. She starred in and executive produced HBO’s hit series Veep, she was Elaine Benes in Seinfeld and Christine Campbell in The New Adventures of Old Christine. She has received 11 Emmys with 26 nominations; she broke records for the most Emmys won. She was recently honored with the White House’s National Medal of Arts, the highest award given to artists who advance the arts in the United States. On April 11, she released her new podcast, “Wiser Than Me,” a 10-part series of candid, witty conversations with women over 70. And her fantastic new film You Hurt My Feelings is being released in May. TW: @OfficialJLD IG: @officialjld

How to end a relationship lovingly, how to love an addict, and how to keep surprising yourself in midlife (buy the tap dancing shoes). Plus, why Cheryl decided to cut down her drinking. For our past episodes with Cheryl, listen to Episode 118 Cheryl Strayed: Don’t Let Your Dreams Ruin Your Life and Episode 119 It’s Okay to Want What You Want: Cheryl Strayed as Dear Sugar. For the Amanda episode Cheryl mentioned, listen to Episode 177 How to Face Your Biggest Fears with Amanda Doyle. About Cheryl: Cheryl Strayed is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, which has sold more than 4 million copies worldwide and was made into an Oscar-nominated film. Her bestselling collection of Dear Sugar columns, Tiny Beautiful Things, was adapted for a Hulu television show that will be released in April. In 2016, the book was adapted as a play that continues to be staged in theaters around the world. Strayed is also the author of the critically acclaimed novel, Torch, and the bestselling collection Brave Enough. She lives in Portland, Oregon. TW: @CherylStrayed IG: @cherylstrayed

1. How to finally discover what turns us on, how to discuss turn-offs – and how to create “sex menus” with our partners. 2. The real reason so many of us don’t feel like having sex. 3. How to ask for more sex – and how to turn it down without hurting your partner. 4. Orgasm – why it’s not the whole shebang – and what to do if we’ve been faking it. 5. Glennon and Abby engage in an exercise to practice talking dirty. (Glennon has not recovered.) For the first part of our conversation with Vanessa, check out Episode 195: Sex Talk & That Night in Miami: Sex Therapy with Vanessa Marin. And to hear our original “Silent Sex Queen” episode, go way back and check out: Episode 14: SILENT SEX QUEEN: Why aren’t we talking about sex more? About Vanessa: Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin. Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve! Vanessa has been featured in various major publications and has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker. TW: @VMTherapy IG: @vanessaandxander

Two silent sex queens & Abby invite sex therapist Vanessa Marin onto the pod and into their bedrooms to discuss: 1. Practical, concrete tips for how to get over your discomfort and talk about sex with your partner – and how Vanessa’s advice is currently working for Glennon and Abby. 2. Why women tend to struggle receiving during sex – and how hustle culture shows up in the bedroom. 3. How to activate desire instead of shame when asking for more frequent or different sex. 4. A great tip for how to “post-game” about what you like and appreciate after sex. For the first “Silent Sex Queen” conversation, go way back and check out: Episode 14: SILENT SEX QUEEN: Why aren’t we talking about sex more? About Vanessa: Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin. Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve! Vanessa has been featured in various major publications and has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker. TW: @VMTherapy IG: @vanessaandxander

Glennon takes us along on her “exile walk” to share how recovery’s going and some new found wisdom that will help us all including: 1. How to shut off the mind and stop over-intellectualizing to allow space for other parts and memories to rise up. 2. Acknowledging that nobody’s “fine” – and we’re all either transforming or transmitting our pain. 3. Glennon's interaction with a young surfer that offended them both (in very different ways). 4. How to start to let go of the prize of privilege in order to receive the treasures of being fully human. If you haven’t listened to Glennon’s last recovery episode, check it out here: Ep 182 Glennon Update: Lessons from Therapy. If talk about eating disorders and mental illness helps: Listen today. If it triggers: Skip today. CW: eating disorders If you have an eating disorder, you may find the National Alliance for Eating Disorders a helpful resource: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/

MICHELLE OBAMA! 1. How to develop the one tool that has sustained Mrs. Obama throughout her entire life. 2. How to identify whether you’re deeply satisfied or deeply stuck – and how to reach for the goal of living “comfortably afraid.” 3. What we never knew about Mrs. Obama’s incredible father, Fraser C. Robinson III, and how he shaped her life. 4. How to avoid what Mrs. Obama calls, “Getting lost in the battle of explaining yourself.” 5. How to finally live in your own Enoughness. Read Mrs. Obama’s glorious new book THE LIGHT WE CARRY. TW: @MichelleObama IG: @MichelleObama