We Can Do Hard Things

Enneagram Godmother Suzanne Stabile guides us through: What the hell is the Enneagram and why does it matter? The gifts and struggles each Enneagram type faces; Why the worst part of you is also the BEST part of you; The core desire / fear that explains your behavior; and Why, if Suzanne ever needs brain surgery, she’s finding a doctor who’s an Enneagram 1. And we FINALLY answer the question: Is Amanda a 3 or a 1? (Also meet back here tomorrow for a bonus episode where Suzanne uses the Enneagram to fix our relationships.) About Suzanne: Suzanne Stabile is an internationally-recognized Enneagram teacher. She is the co-author of The Road Back to You, and the author of The Path Between Us and The Journey Toward Wholeness. With backgrounds in sociology and theology, Suzanne has served as a high school professor; the first women’s basketball coach at SMU after Title IX; and as the founding Director of Shared Housing, a social service agency in Dallas. Suzanne lives in Dallas with her husband Rev. Joseph Stabile. She is the mother of four children and grandmother of nine. TW: @SuzanneStabile IG: @suzannestabile

Morgan Harper Nichols is here today to help us – finally! – breathe deep and pay attention: What the hell is this elusive “peace” anyway? How to create your own peace practice How she has found a truer way to communicate than words How her adult autism diagnosis helped her finally set boundaries Concrete strategies to find peace even in chaos Plus, she helps us understand why we don’t need to add “Presence” to our to-do list: It’s already right here. About Morgan: Morgan Harper Nichols is an artist, poet, musician, and best-selling author of Peace is a Practice and All Along You Were Blooming. Morgan has also performed as a vocalist on several GRAMMY-nominated projects and written for various artists. She is passionate about art making as a way to connect with others. Her latest book, You Are Only Just Beginning is available now. Morgan currently resides in Atlanta with her family. TW: @morganhnichols IG: @morganharpernichols

Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin is back on the pod to discuss how we can all make sex more ENJOYABLE. She shares with us: How we can stop faking our orgasms and experiment with real pleasure; How to communicate honestly with our partners about what we want in bed; and Why masturbation can be an opportunity for self-exploration and reclamation. She also offers empowering advice for individuals recovering from sexual trauma. Plus, Glennon contemplates writing erotica. CW: Discussion of sex after sexual trauma For our previous conversations with Vanessa, check out: Episode 195 Sex Talk & That Night in Miami: Sex Therapy with Vanessa Marin, Episode 196 How Glennon & Abby Learned to Talk Dirty with Vanessa Marin, and Episode 213 Sex Fantasies: What Do They Say About Us? with Vanessa Marin. About Vanessa: Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin. Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve! TW: @VMTherapy IG: @vanessaandxander

If the word “negotiation” makes you feel tense and sweaty and like the last thing you want to do is listen to this conversation . . . then what you absolutely need to do is listen to this conversation. Because it turns out we've been thinking about negotiation all wrong, and today we empower ourselves to think about it differently. Mori Taheripour guides us through the top things we all get wrong in negotiation; the most effective tool in asking for a raise; the ways the vast majority of women undercut our own value; how we can best advocate for ourselves; and how to hold non-negotiable boundaries. About Mori: Mori Taheripour is a faculty member at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, where she teaches Negotiations and Dispute Resolution. She also co-founded the Wharton Sports Business Initiative (WSBI), a partnership among top business leaders, faculty, and students that generates and disseminates knowledge about the sports industry through educational programs, high-level student consulting assignments, global forums, and research. Taheripour earned her MBA from the Wharton School and her BA in psychology and pre-medical studies from Barnard College/Columbia University. She is also the author of Bring Yourself: How to Harness the Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly. TW: @MoriTaheripour IG: @mtaheripour

Jia Tolentino joins us to discuss how to finally accept all sides of you: Why your un-productivity matters most; When your shame is good; How to make your real life bigger than your internet life; How to let motherhood energize you instead of drain you; and How to stop scrolling in the middle of the night. Plus, we talk acid trips, the sorority rush that Jia and Amanda shared, why Glennon’s friends track Jia’s words – and whether Glennon’s mug shot will inspire Jia’s next show. About Jia: Jia Tolentino is a staff writer at The New Yorker, a screenwriter, and the author of the New York Times bestseller Trick Mirror. In 2020, she received a Whiting Award as well as the Jeannette Haien Ballard Prize, and has most recently won a National Magazine Award for three pieces about the repeal of Roe v. Wade. Trick Mirror was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle’s John Leonard Prize and the PEN Award and was named one of the best books of the year by the New York Public Library, the New York Times Book Review, the Washington Post, NPR, the Chicago Tribune, GQ, and the Paris Review. Jia lives in Brooklyn. TW: @jiatolentino IG: @jiatortellini

Glennon, Abby, and Amanda help us shed guilt through a freeing reframe inspired by a conversation with Dr. Becky Kennedy. Listen to learn: How to know what is true guilt and what is just the uncomfortable ickiness of defying expectations; how to hold boundaries in order to live shamelessly within our own values; and how to maintain empathy by staying with our own emotions instead of internalizing the emotions of others. Also, we need your help inventing a word for the “not guilt” feeling! Get Dr. Becky Kennedy's "Good Inside Guilt Guide," to find out if what you're feeling is truly "guilt" or something else, here: https://forms.gle/Aad1g5LSBNFZoXaN6. Check out our past conversations with Dr. Becky Kennedy, and the Dr. Brené Brown episodes we talk about today: Ep 170 The Most Radical Way to Heal: Internal Family Systems with Dr. Becky Kennedy; Ep 169 Why We Love the Way We Love: Attachment Styles with Dr. Becky Kennedy; Ep 131 How to Raise Untamed Kids with Dr. Becky Kennedy; Ep 130 Breaking Cycles and Reparenting Yourself with Dr. Becky Kennedy; Ep 88 Brené Brown & Barrett Guillen: Sisters Double Date; Ep 83 Brené Brown: What to Say to Get What You Need; Ep 49 Dr. Brené Brown: On Holding Boundaries & Facing Our Fears; and Ep 48 Dr. Brené Brown: How to Know Ourselves & Be Known By Our People.

Author Katherine May recounts the moment she – at age 37 – discovered she is autistic and recognized herself for the first time. Living as an autistic person in a world that often misunderstands her, Katherine shares: How the prevailing understandings of autism erase the lived experiences of autistic women and girls; The way autism looks and feels for adult women; and How she navigates social interactions and sensory overload. Katherine also reveals what she hears most often from people who think they might be autistic, which has Glennon asking: “Katherine, am I one of those people?” For more information about how autism may show up in the lives of adult women, listen to the end of this podcast, and visit Katherine May’s Autism Resource Page at https://katherine-may.co.uk/autism-resource-page. Don’t miss our We Can Do Hard Things conversation with Hannah Gadsby, who was also diagnosed with autism in adulthood: Episode 82 Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better. About Katherine: Katherine May is the New York Times–bestselling author of Enchantment: Awakening Wonder in an Anxious Age and Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, which has been translated into twenty-five languages around the world. Her journalism and essays have appeared in a range of publications including The New York Times and The Times of London. She lives by the sea in Whitstable, England. IG: @katherinemay

Logan Ury helps Glennon’s former husband and co-parent, Craig Melton, navigate the wild world of dating as a grown up: How to identify your patterns that aren’t working for you; how to know if something’s really a deal breaker; why dating in your twenties is like “start-up” while dating later in life is a “merger”; an honest audit of Craig’s online dating profile; how to ensure you’re meeting who you want to meet; and how Craig factors whether or not Glennon and Abby will like who he’s dating. About Logan: Logan Ury is a behavioral scientist turned dating coach and the author of the bestselling dating book How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. She works as Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, conducting research on modern dating. She runs an online community through her weekly newsletter — Logan's Love Letter. She studied psychology at Harvard and ran Google’s behavioral science team, the Irrational Lab. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband Scott. TW: @loganury IG: @loganury IG: @craigmelton14

How the hell do grown ups date and make friends? Behavioral scientist turned dating coach, Logan Ury is here to help us make dating and meeting new friends easier: how to identify what you really want; why we should stop searching for “the spark”; why we keep going after the same people that are wrong for us; how to talk to our kids about their first love experiences; why we need to have “other significant others”; and the eight questions you should ask yourself after meeting anyone new. About Logan: Logan Ury is a behavioral scientist turned dating coach and the author of the bestselling dating book How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. She works as Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, conducting research on modern dating. She runs an online community through her weekly newsletter — Logan's Love Letter. She studied psychology at Harvard and ran Google’s behavioral science team, the Irrational Lab. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband Scott. TW: @loganury IG: @loganury

In this deeply personal conversation, Kelly Clarkson – beloved artist, truth teller, and goddamn cheetah – joins us to discuss: How Untamed gave her the clarity and courage to divorce; Why she stayed for as long as she did; The lowest point of her life; What broke her heart the most in her marriage; How to recover yourself after slowly disappearing in a relationship; Her incredible new album chemistry; Embracing singleness; and Why she’s a stronger parent today. About Kelly: Kelly Clarkson is one of the most popular artists of this era with total worldwide sales of more than 25 million albums and 40 million singles. Her multi-Emmy Award-winning daytime talk show, “The Kelly Clarkson Show,” has been picked up for its 5th and 6th seasons. Additionally, she was the winning coach on seasons 14, 15, 17, and 21 of “The Voice” and returned as a coach for Season 23. Kelly is the recipient of three consecutive Daytime Emmy Awards for “The Kelly Clarkson Show,” three Grammy Awards, four American Music Awards, three MTV Video Music Awards, one MTV Movie & TV Award, two Academy of Country Music Awards, two American Country Awards and one Country Music Association Award. Kelly will release her highly anticipated tenth studio album, Chemistry on June 23rd. TW: @kellyclarkson IG: @kellyclarkson

We need more JOY. In today’s bonus episode, internet sensations corook and Olivia Barton delight us with their performance of “If I Were a Fish.” Plus, Glennon and Abby coach them on how to not let criticism keep you from sharing yourself with the world. For our other conversations about delight, check out: Episode 216 How to Find DELIGHT Today (and Every Day) with Ross Gay and Episode 217 Start a Daily Delight Practice with Abby, Glennon & Amanda. corook TikTok: @hicorook IG: @hicorook Olivia Barton TikTok: @oliviabartonhaha IG: @oliviabartonhaha

Glennon’s hilarious misunderstanding with a TSA agent she’ll remember 'til she dies; Amma’s delightful response when Abby rushed onto the soccer field; and the delight Amanda experienced the day she switched it all up by not freaking out. Today’s episode was inspired by our conversation with Ross Gay – if you missed it, check out: Episode 216 How to Find DELIGHT Today (and Every Day) with Ross Gay.

Ross Gay teaches us how to notice delight and joy in our everyday lives. We discuss: concrete ways to rediscover and capture joy every day; how to rebuild your “delight muscle”; how to dissolve the myth of disconnection between us; and how to “unknow” our people so we can delight in them. About Ross: Ross Gay is an American poet, essayist, and professor committed to healing the world through observing and articulating joy, delight and gratitude. He won the National Book Critics Circle Award for Poetry and the Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award for his 2014 book, Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude, which was also a finalist for the National Book Award for Poetry. A devoted community gardener, Ross is a founding board member of the Bloomington Community Orchard, a non-profit, free-fruit-for-all food justice and joy project. A college football player, he is a founding editor of the online sports magazine Some Call it Ballin'.

In the conversation that’s meant the most to Glennon, Abby, and Amanda – poet and spoken word artist, Andrea Gibson makes the bravest announcement we’ve ever heard. Andrea shares how to boundlessly, relentlessly love our lives by: paying attention to the only thing we can control; letting go of living in fear; and feeling less alone and terrified through it all. CW: Discussion of suicidal ideation About Andrea: Andrea Gibson is one of the most celebrated and influential spoken word artists of our time. Best known for their live performances, Gibson has changed the landscape of what it means to attend a “poetry show”. Gibson’s poems center around LGBTQ issues, spirituality, feminism, mental health and the dismantling of oppressive social systems. Andrea is the author of seven books, most recently “You Better Be Lightning”. TW: @andreagibson IG: @andreagibson

In today’s beautiful, vulnerable, and funny conversation, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda reveal what each feels most insecure about. Plus, Amanda connects with a member of the Pod Squad on raising a kid with ADHD and her shift that changed everything; Glennon talks about anger as a guard dog and her discovery while rock climbing on “vacation”; and Abby explains why retirement from soccer was one of the hardest times of her life and how she navigated that massive life transition.

Sex therapist Vanessa Marin is back and we’re digging into: why we’re (sadly and ironically) proven to be less likely to try new things in the bedroom the longer we’ve been partnered; how to spice up your sex life when things get bland – including how to find out and explore your sexual fantasies; how not all orgasms (even for men!) are created equal; and the TikTok sex challenges we should probably pass on. For our previous conversations with Vanessa, check out: Episode 195 Sex Talk & That Night in Miami: Sex Therapy with Vanessa Marin and Episode 196 How Glennon & Abby Learned to Talk Dirty with Vanessa Marin. About Vanessa: Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin. Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve! Vanessa has been featured in various major publications and has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker. TW: @VMTherapy IG: @vanessaandxander

For graduates (and all of us), it’s scary and hard to know the way forward. Listen to Abby tell the Class of 2023 (and all of us) the way! Thank you to Loyola Marymount University.

Trauma therapist (and survivor of marriage to a narcissist) Caroline Strawson joins us to discuss: how to know if someone’s really a narcissist; how to know if you’re more likely to get into a relationship with a narcissist (and avoid it); strategies for parallel parenting with a narcissist; how the brain and body respond to narcissists; and how to rebuild after ending a relationship with a narcissist. CW: Abusive relationships, self harm For more related episodes, check out: Episode 170 The Most Radical Way to Heal: Internal Family Systems with Dr. Becky Kennedy, Episode 169 Why We Love the Way We Love: Attachment Styles with Dr. Becky Kennedy, and Episode 142 Codependence: How to Stop Controlling Others with Melody Beattie About Caroline: Caroline Strawson is a Trauma Therapist and Coach specializing in helping others heal from the trauma and shame of narcissistic abuse. She hosts the Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast and is the #1 best selling author of Divorce Became My Superpower. Having been married to a covert narcissist herself, Caroline was in debt, lost her family home, and was at rock bottom with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Caroline integrates Internal Family Systems, Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting and breath work with positive psychology, to help others move from post traumatic stress to post traumatic growth. TW: @cstrawson11 IG: @carolinestrawson

In this unplanned conversation, Amanda speaks up for everyone who’s been labeled a “Control Freak” – anyone who feels like they have to hold up the entire sky for their families or businesses – when what they really want is to feel supported and safe. Amanda shares vulnerably about: how she became an overfunctioner, the blessings and curses of being one, and the practical strategies she’s using to let go – and what her partner is doing to make her feel like she can finally try to relax. If this episode resonates, go back and listen to OVERWHELM: Is our exhaustion a sign that we’re CareTicking time bombs?

For the first time, Glennon requests a one-on-one with our guest – author and poet Maggie Smith – in this deeply honest conversation about: how to tell the brutal truth without betraying our people, how to reclaim ourselves after infidelity and betrayal, how the shaming of women who dare to tell their stories keeps us powerless and isolated, and how they both have embraced acceptance instead of “forgiveness.” About Maggie: Maggie Smith is the award-winning author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful, Good Bones, The Well Speaks of Its Own Poison, Lamp of the Body, and the national bestsellers Goldenrod and Keep Moving: Notes on Loss, Creativity, and Change. A 2011 recipient of a Creative Writing Fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts, two Academy of American Poets Prizes, a Pushcart Prize, and fellowships from the Sustainable Arts Foundation and the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. TW: @maggiesmithpoet IG: @maggiesmithpoet

Glennon explains what she meant when she said, “I just can't find gender in me. I can only find it on me,” in this beautiful conversation that began with a question from a college freshman named Nick. Please revisit our conversations with ALOK here: Episode 74 ALOK: What makes us beautiful? What makes us free? and Episode 75 ALOK: How do we interrupt trauma? How do we heal?

Today, Abby, Amanda, and Glennon learn new ways not to be assholes. In this follow up to Episode 191 Why Etiquette is B.S. & New Rules for Living, we share Pod Squad wisdom about ways we can all make the world a less annoying place. Join us as we learn how to deepen our conversations with people by not saying the first thing we think of, spreading “tell me more” energy instead of “let me tell you about me” energy, and not asking “surface” questions that aren’t surface at all. Plus, we debate holding the door open for strangers, embracing bodily noises in public, and using “but” in apologies.

Embodiment teacher, Dr. Hillary McBride, joins us to discuss: what embodiment and disembodiment are; dissociation as survival response, somatophobia, and how to get more comfortable with fear. She offers concrete practices to stop blaming our bodies, and help us become attuned to our body’s messages. If you haven’t listened to Glennon’s latest episodes about her recovery journey and embodiment, check them out here: Episode 199 Why Glennon Says We Should All Be In Recovery and Episode 200 Don’t Tell Glennon to Love Her Body. CW: eating disorders About Dr. McBride: Dr. Hillary McBride is a Registered Psychologist, researcher, podcaster, author, and speaker, but she identifies most with being a mother. She has lived experience and clinical expertise in the areas of trauma, embodiment, eating disorders, and the intersection of spirituality and mental health. Her research has focused on women's relationships with their bodies across the lifespan, and her books include: Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image; Embodiment and Eating Disorders, and the bestseller The Wisdom of Your Body. Her next book – Practices for Embodied Living – will be released in 2024. Her CBC podcast Other People's Problems was listed in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal as essential listening. TW: @hillarylmcbride IG: @hillaryliannamcbride

Amanda’s epiphany on Alice’s school Picture Day about the destructive messages we’re inadvertently sending our kids; our forced pursuit of happiness in photos with our families; why family photo shoots bring out the worst in us; and why we should allow ourselves and our people to just look like we look. Check out past episodes mentioned: Episode 196 How Glennon & Abby Learned to Talk Dirty with Vanessa Marin and Episode 125 WHY ARE THERE NO PICTURES OF US?!?

Priyanka Chopra Jonas dives deep into: the night she fell for Nick at the Met Gala, walking her baby through their harrowing NICU journey, her strategy to make Malti Marie think she’s cool, and why accountability is good – if we know the right people to be accountable to. About Priyanka: Priyanka Chopra Jonas is a multi-faceted talent, New York Times Best Selling Author of UNFINISHED, and one of the most recognized people in the world. She is an actor and producer, with more than sixty international and Hollywood films to her credit. She stars in the new Amazon series Citadel and the new movie Love Again. The Padma Shri, one of India’s highest civilian honors, was conferred on her in 2016 and she was named one of the “Most Influential People” in the world by Time Magazine. She is a global UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, and a Global Citizen ambassador, and is involved in efforts to protect children’s rights and to promote the education of girls around the world. TW: @priyankachopra IG: @priyankachopra

Michelle Zauner on how to begin healing our mother wounds, using her sensitivity to deepen her relationships and be a rockstar, why she’s obsessed with sheetcake and winnebagos, and why she is still “afraid of her mental health.” About Michelle: MICHELLE ZAUNER is best known as a singer and guitarist who creates dreamy, shoegaze-inspired indie pop under the name Japanese Breakfast. She has won acclaim from major music outlets around the world for releases like Psychopomp and Soft Sounds from Another Planet. Her most recent album, Jubilee, earned two GRAMMY nominations for Best New Artist and Best Alternative Music Album. Her first book, Crying in H Mart, is a New York Times Best Seller. She’s currently adapting the memoir for the screen for MGM’s Orion Pictures. TW: @jbrekkie IG: @jbrekkie

What is gaslighting REALLY and what isn’t? Plus, how to know if you’re in a relationship with a gaslighter, the three types of gaslighters, and how to break free from a gaslighter and reclaim yourself. About Dr. Stern: Robin Stern, Ph.D., is the co-founder and associate director for the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and an associate research scientist at the Child Study Center at Yale. She is a licensed psychoanalyst with 30 years of experience treating individuals, couples, and families. She is the author of The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide: Your Personal Journey Toward Healing from Emotional Abuse. TW: @RobinSStern IG: @dr.robinstern

Is the most relentless question of your day (other than what do you want for dinner?): WHAT SHOULD WE WATCH TONIGHT? Here to help. Everything we’re watching, listening to, and reading on today’s pod: Yellowjackets, Succession, Calendar Girls, 90 Day Fiancé, and so much more. Let’s start a Pod Squad list. What are you all watching / reading / listening to? P.S. Succession Spoiler Alert! Skip through from ~20:38-23:20 if you need to!

Why Glennon respects “body positivity” – but it doesn’t work for her. What if every single thing we’ve learned about who we are is wrong? What if we ARE our Bodies? What if instead of trying to love our bodies, we could experience being alive on this planet… as bodies? If talk about eating disorders and mental illness helps: Listen today. If it triggers: Skip today. CW: eating disorders If you have an eating disorder, you may find the National Alliance for Eating Disorders a helpful resource: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/

Glennon shares what her recovery – leaving something you can’t live without – feels like: Almost impossible. She explains how she views recovery as an invitation to a great quest that improves life for every person who accepts it. If you haven’t listened to Glennon’s latest episode about her recovery journey and embodiment, check it out here: Episode 194 Glennon Finds Her Healing Partner. If talk about eating disorders and mental illness helps: Listen today. If it triggers: Skip today. CW: eating disorders If you have an eating disorder, you may find the National Alliance for Eating Disorders a helpful resource: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/

Julia Louis-Dreyfus joins us to dive deep into: going to therapy with her 87-year-old mom, how to love adult kids well, the metaphor that got her through breast cancer, and why we should all be excited about getting older. About Julia: Julia Louis-Dreyfus is one of Hollywood’s most influential, iconic actors and producers. She starred in and executive produced HBO’s hit series Veep, she was Elaine Benes in Seinfeld and Christine Campbell in The New Adventures of Old Christine. She has received 11 Emmys with 26 nominations; she broke records for the most Emmys won. She was recently honored with the White House’s National Medal of Arts, the highest award given to artists who advance the arts in the United States. On April 11, she released her new podcast, “Wiser Than Me,” a 10-part series of candid, witty conversations with women over 70. And her fantastic new film You Hurt My Feelings is being released in May. TW: @OfficialJLD IG: @officialjld

How to end a relationship lovingly, how to love an addict, and how to keep surprising yourself in midlife (buy the tap dancing shoes). Plus, why Cheryl decided to cut down her drinking. For our past episodes with Cheryl, listen to Episode 118 Cheryl Strayed: Don’t Let Your Dreams Ruin Your Life and Episode 119 It’s Okay to Want What You Want: Cheryl Strayed as Dear Sugar. For the Amanda episode Cheryl mentioned, listen to Episode 177 How to Face Your Biggest Fears with Amanda Doyle. About Cheryl: Cheryl Strayed is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, which has sold more than 4 million copies worldwide and was made into an Oscar-nominated film. Her bestselling collection of Dear Sugar columns, Tiny Beautiful Things, was adapted for a Hulu television show that will be released in April. In 2016, the book was adapted as a play that continues to be staged in theaters around the world. Strayed is also the author of the critically acclaimed novel, Torch, and the bestselling collection Brave Enough. She lives in Portland, Oregon. TW: @CherylStrayed IG: @cherylstrayed

1. How to finally discover what turns us on, how to discuss turn-offs – and how to create “sex menus” with our partners. 2. The real reason so many of us don’t feel like having sex. 3. How to ask for more sex – and how to turn it down without hurting your partner. 4. Orgasm – why it’s not the whole shebang – and what to do if we’ve been faking it. 5. Glennon and Abby engage in an exercise to practice talking dirty. (Glennon has not recovered.) For the first part of our conversation with Vanessa, check out Episode 195: Sex Talk & That Night in Miami: Sex Therapy with Vanessa Marin. And to hear our original “Silent Sex Queen” episode, go way back and check out: Episode 14: SILENT SEX QUEEN: Why aren’t we talking about sex more? About Vanessa: Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin. Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve! Vanessa has been featured in various major publications and has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker. TW: @VMTherapy IG: @vanessaandxander

Two silent sex queens & Abby invite sex therapist Vanessa Marin onto the pod and into their bedrooms to discuss: 1. Practical, concrete tips for how to get over your discomfort and talk about sex with your partner – and how Vanessa’s advice is currently working for Glennon and Abby. 2. Why women tend to struggle receiving during sex – and how hustle culture shows up in the bedroom. 3. How to activate desire instead of shame when asking for more frequent or different sex. 4. A great tip for how to “post-game” about what you like and appreciate after sex. For the first “Silent Sex Queen” conversation, go way back and check out: Episode 14: SILENT SEX QUEEN: Why aren’t we talking about sex more? About Vanessa: Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin. Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve! Vanessa has been featured in various major publications and has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker. TW: @VMTherapy IG: @vanessaandxander

Glennon takes us along on her “exile walk” to share how recovery’s going and some new found wisdom that will help us all including: 1. How to shut off the mind and stop over-intellectualizing to allow space for other parts and memories to rise up. 2. Acknowledging that nobody’s “fine” – and we’re all either transforming or transmitting our pain. 3. Glennon's interaction with a young surfer that offended them both (in very different ways). 4. How to start to let go of the prize of privilege in order to receive the treasures of being fully human. If you haven’t listened to Glennon’s last recovery episode, check it out here: Ep 182 Glennon Update: Lessons from Therapy. If talk about eating disorders and mental illness helps: Listen today. If it triggers: Skip today. CW: eating disorders If you have an eating disorder, you may find the National Alliance for Eating Disorders a helpful resource: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/

MICHELLE OBAMA! 1. How to develop the one tool that has sustained Mrs. Obama throughout her entire life. 2. How to identify whether you’re deeply satisfied or deeply stuck – and how to reach for the goal of living “comfortably afraid.” 3. What we never knew about Mrs. Obama’s incredible father, Fraser C. Robinson III, and how he shaped her life. 4. How to avoid what Mrs. Obama calls, “Getting lost in the battle of explaining yourself.” 5. How to finally live in your own Enoughness. Read Mrs. Obama’s glorious new book THE LIGHT WE CARRY. TW: @MichelleObama IG: @MichelleObama

Pioneering sports journalist – the brilliant, hilarious, badass Sarah Spain – joins us to reflect on: 1. One of our most popular episodes – Episode 147: The Episode That Wasn’t – when we ended an interview after the guest was disrespectful to our team member; 2. The constant indignities and inequities in male-dominated fields; 3. To report or not to report harassment – and what actually happens when you do report?; and 4. How to help ourselves – and come together to help each other – secure safer and more just work spaces. CW: sexual harassment About Sarah: Sarah Spain is an Emmy and Peabody Award-winning sports journalist. In her 12+ years at ESPN she has worked as a radio and podcast host, writer and TV analyst. She's a minority owner of the Chicago Red Stars of the NWSL, a co-founder of “Hear The Cheers,” which provides hearing aids and equipment to kids so they can continue participating in sports, and is on the board of Embarc, a program that provides community-driven experiences and learning opportunities to low-income Chicago high school students. TW: @SarahSpain IG:@spain2323

1. When is it too late to cancel on someone? 2. How do we split the bill? 3. Text messages: What NOT to do, and is there time-induced amnesty? 4. Phone calls in public: Hell no, or do what you wish? 5. Once and for all: Can we agree on how we all get off the plane? Today, Abby – whose mom sent her to etiquette school to learn to be a “lady” – and Glennon and Amanda – whose mom did not – discuss the New Rules for being human while surrounded by humans; the thin line between manners meant to offer consideration vs. manners meant to signal superiority; how we are all inadvertently insulting each other; and where we go from here.

In Part 2 of this Abby conversation, Abby shared the greatest gift she’s ever received. In this Part 3, we dive into: exactly what happened that magical morning from Abby, Glennon, and Amanda’s perspective; Craig’s reaction; and why it was that singular moment that Abby finally felt fully loved and chosen. If you haven’t listened to Part 1, check it out here: Episode 188 Abby Wambach: Will I Ever Be Truly Loved? If you didn’t catch Part 2, listen here: Episode 189 Abby for the 1st Time On Divorce & Her Unrequited Love.

In Part 2 of our deeply personal interview with Abby, she reveals for the first time: 1. Her romance with an unrequited love – someone who strung her along hopelessly for years; 2. Her anguish and rebirth after being arrested; 3. Her sense of loss when being crowned FIFA Player of the Year; 4. Her divorce after fighting for marriage equality – inside her own family and on the public stage; and 5. The night she met Glennon. Before you start the episode, please go back and listen to Part 1 of our interview with Abby: We Can Do Hard Things Episode 188 Abby Wambach: Will I Ever Be Truly Loved? And come back tomorrow for Abby’s *very* special Part 3 bonus episode! ABOUT ABBY WAMBACH: Olympian, Activist, Author, and Co-host of the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast Abby Wambach is a two-time Olympic gold medalist, FIFA World Cup Champion, and six-time winner of the U.S. Soccer Athlete of the Year award. She was the United States’ leading scorer in the 2007 and 2011 Women’s World Cup tournaments and the 2004 and 2012 Olympics. Abby is the host of ABBY’S PLACES on ESPN+, in which she showcases what makes her beloved sport of soccer a worldwide sensation. An activist for equality and inclusion, she is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller WOLFPACK as well as the adaptation of WOLFPACK for the next generation, an instant New York Times bestseller. She is a founder and part owner of Angel City FC, the first majority-female-owned soccer team in history, and is a member of the Board of Directors for the non-profit organization Together Rising. Abby lives in California with her wife and their three children. TW: @abbywambach IG: @abbywambach

This is the one! Our favorite person on the planet – Abby Wambach – is going deep, answering the questions that we all have, but that only Glennon and Amanda can ask. Abby shares, in an intensely new and courageous way, about her lifelong pursuit of love – including her complicated relationships with her mom, soccer, her first marriage, queerness, and her “shadow self” – and why she has questioned her own lovability for so much of her life. ABOUT ABBY WAMBACH: Olympian, Activist, Author, and Co-host of the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast Abby Wambach is a two-time Olympic gold medalist, FIFA World Cup Champion, and six-time winner of the U.S. Soccer Athlete of the Year award. She was the United States’ leading scorer in the 2007 and 2011 Women’s World Cup tournaments and the 2004 and 2012 Olympics. Abby is the host of ABBY’S PLACES on ESPN+, in which she showcases what makes her beloved sport of soccer a worldwide sensation. An activist for equality and inclusion, she is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller WOLFPACK as well as the adaptation of WOLFPACK for the next generation, an instant New York Times bestseller. She is a founder and part owner of Angel City FC, the first majority-female-owned soccer team in history, and is a member of the Board of Directors for the non-profit organization Together Rising. Abby lives in California with her wife and their three children. TW: @abbywambach IG: @abbywambach

1. How to listen to the signals our bodies give us, and other concrete strategies to hold on to being human. 2. The healing power of honoring and reconnecting with our little girl selves and with our Mother Earth. 3. How, if all else fails, we can practice presence and embodiment by talking to a house plant. 4. The traumatizing effect of purity culture, colonization, and assimilation, and how to come home to the wholeness of our core nature, desire, and wisdom. 5. Concrete, everyday acts of rebellion that help us regain what we lost, and restore us to who we really are. About Kaitlin: Kaitlin Curtice is an award-winning author, poet-storyteller, and public speaker. As an enrolled citizen of the Potawatomi nation, Kaitlin writes on the intersections of spirituality and identity. She is a wise and vital voice on decolonizing our bodies, faith, and families, and the freedom and peace of embodiment - finding wholeness in ourselves, our stories, and our lineage. Her new book, Living Resistance: An Indigenous Vision for Seeking Wholeness Every Day, examines the journey of resisting the status quo by caring for ourselves, one another, and Mother Earth – and is available now. Find her on Twitter and Instagram at @kaitlincurtice. If you want to hear more about Embodiment, please listen to the We Can Do Hard Things episode 168 Sonya Renee Taylor: What If You Loved Your Body?

GLORIA STEINEM – who dedicates her life to ensuring we know that we are not broken, but were born into a system intended to break us – lives in the DNA of millions who are giving birth to movements or to themselves. She reminds us why there’s nothing more radical than telling the truth of our lives, and listening to the truth of others’ lives. She reminds us that leaving our lives unlived is no badge of honor. She reminds us of the thirst-quenching, life-giving, revolutionary power of laughter. She reminds us of the three different kinds of laughter, and that we can do hard things – like laugh our way to liberation. About Gloria: Gloria Steinem is a writer, lecturer, political activist, and feminist organizer. She has spent decades traveling in this and other countries as an organizer and lecturer and is a frequent media spokeswoman on issues of equality. She is particularly interested in the shared origins of sex and race caste systems, gender roles and child abuse as roots of violence, non-violent conflict resolution, the cultures of Indigenous Peoples, and organizing across boundaries for peace and justice. She lives in New York City. TW: @GloriaSteinem IG: @gloriasteinem

We saw the film WOMEN TALKING and we couldn’t rest until we had the chance to speak with the genius who wrote, directed, and is nominated for an Oscar for it: Sarah Polley. This conversation is about hope, survival, imagination, and revolution. It’s about burning it all down and building from the ashes. Please listen to this conversation and then please watch the film. You will be powerfully changed. CW // sexual assault About Sarah: SARAH POLLEY is an Oscar-nominated director and award-winning actor whose works include Away From Her, Take This Waltz, and Stories We Tell. As an actor, Polley starred in a variety of films including The Sweet Hereafter, Go, Dawn of the Dead, Mr. Nobody, and My Life Without Me. In 2022, Polley released an autobiographical collection of essays – Run Towards the Danger: Confrontations with a Body of Memory. More recently, Polley wrote and directed the film adaptation of Miriam Toews’s novel Women Talking, which has since been nominated for several awards, including the Academy Awards, Critics’ Choice Awards, and Golden Globe Awards. IG: @realsarahpolley

1. Why no one talks about the complicated feelings of freedom after the death of a toxic loved one. 2. How Jennette’s mom enforced extreme calorie restriction to control and bond with Jennette, and the moment her body finally said, No. 3. What led Jennette to step away from acting after her iCarly stardom, and why she doesn’t think “resilient” is a compliment. 4. How Jennette found herself still “doing her mother’s work” in therapy – and how she stopped forcing forgiveness. 5. Why – when you’ve grown up in an environment of chaos and volatility – healthy, comfortable relationships can feel boring. 6. Jennette's relationship with her inner voice – and how she understands and experiences Obsessive-compulsive disorder today. CW // eating disorders, toxic relationships About Jennette: Jennette McCurdy is the New York Times Bestselling author of I’m Glad My Mom Died, which stayed at #1 on the NYT bestseller list for eight consecutive weeks and has remained on the list for 24. In her memoir, Jennette dives into her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life. Jennette has been honored as part of the 2022 TIME100 Next list, and her debut fiction novel will be released in 2024. TW: @jennettemccurdy IG: @jennettemccurdy

1. Hard-won, joyful, practical wisdom from Bozoma’s exuberant life, and her lessons on how to overcome after enduring excruciating loss. 2. How big love and life can be when we are brave enough to be fierce and tender. 3. The rarely talked-about confusion and fear that often come with pregnancy. 4. Why love isn’t enough — and we all deserve a community surrounding our love. 5. Why Boz gave her husband a book report assignment before she’d go out with him, and the heart wrenching truth that you can carry anger toward a loved one even after death. About Bozoma: Bozoma Saint John is a Hall of Fame inducted Marketing Executive, author, entrepreneur, and general badass. In 2021, Harvard Business School published a multi-media case study written about her career, titled “Leading with Authenticity and Urgency”. And Bozoma’s highly-anticipated memoir, THE URGENT LIFE, is available now. Bozoma’s brilliant career has spanned various industries and included roles as Global CMO of Netflix, CMO of Endeavor, CBO of Uber, Head of Marketing of Apple Music & iTunes and Head of Music and Entertainment Marketing at PepsiCo. Bozoma’s work has been lauded and awarded with notable recognition including inductions into the American Advertising Federation Hall of Achievement, Billboard’s Women in Music Hall of Fame, the Marketing Hall of Fame; and has been included in The Hollywood Reporter’s Women in Entertainment Power 100 list and crowned as The World's Most Influential CMO by Forbes. By far, her greatest achievement is raising her 13 year old daughter, Lael. TW: @badassboz IG: @badassboz

Glennon shares what she’s learning in therapy and what she feels we all could benefit from knowing – especially about wanting, yearning, fixing, and the next right thing. If talk about eating disorders and mental illness helps: Listen today. If it triggers: Skip today. CW // eating disorders If you have an eating disorder, you may find the National Alliance for Eating Disorders a helpful resource: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/

In this Bonus episode, Amanda answers your follow-up questions: 1. How do you take care of the person who takes care of everyone else? 2. How do you find peace and closure when you will never know the story of what really happened? 3. The weird way Amanda can only relax when her husband gets fired up. 4. The strategy that now grounds Amanda when she is most activated and afraid.

1. Practical ways to make a friend and become what Dr. Franco calls a “Super-friend.” 2. How to address issues with a friend even if you hate conflict. 3. Why expressing anger is more likely to deepen a relationship than destroy it. 4. How we need to express vulnerability to make friends – but first, what the hell is vulnerability? 5. Destroying the unhelpful myth that friendship happens organically. About Dr. Franco: Dr. Marisa G Franco is psychologist, international speaker, and New York Times bestselling author known for digesting and communicating science in ways tha change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends. TW: @DrMarisaGFranco IG: @drmarisagfranco

1. How your attachment style determines how you make – or don’t make – friends and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 2. How Dr. Franco’s work helped Glennon make healthy adult friendships over the past year. 3. Why we’re lonelier than ever – and how that loneliness can make us sick. 4. Why platonic friendships are beneficial to the health of our romantic partnerships. 5. Learning to “trust the spark” when you meet a potential friend – and concrete steps to foster new friendship. About Dr. Franco: Dr. Marisa G Franco is psychologist, international speaker, and New York Times bestselling author known for digesting and communicating science in ways tha change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends. TW: @DrMarisaGFranco IG: @drmarisagfranco