Two Judgey Girls

The people have spoken and YOU ARE THE JURY! Sadly, This is our last pod of 2017. We talk about the highlights of this year including: it’s about Tom, Bunny Gate, and sucking D at the Round Up. Hear our amazing Doritos accent and Beverly Hills taglines. We also discuss Jax being a disgusting pig and Brittany having hate sex with him. Shep continues to be a slob in Charleston and Soggy just needs to go. Thank you all for a fabulous year! Happy Holidays, and for the last time of 2017, come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

WARNING: Major ADD this episode. Polls results are in for the best housewife. We revisit the most anticipated fashion show of the year, Kim D’s POSCHE standing for Piece of Shit Cokehead Homewrecker Everyday. Meanwhile in the South, Courtney thinks she is the best match for RelationSHEP. VPR premiere brings it. Poor Brittany gets called out by Jax and her Postmates habits then he cheats on her with Faith. We don’t know what’s worse? Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we question if Vicki, Tamra, and Shannon put their differences aside...maybe for the cameras. Kim Z returns to Atlanta and Kenya asks if she had reassignment surgery. Theresa throws another glass of red wine in New Jersey after the claims she has rekindled an old flame...haven’t Juicy Joe and her been together since middle school? Plus Courtney and Mary are still single even though their parents pimp them out at bars. Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Courtney met Meghan King Edmonds in real life. Delores accused Danielle of taking drugs but we think Soggy Slicker is on them. And the Academy Award for Best Actress in a Drama goes to Margaret as #cakegatecontinues. Cynthia is officially a cougar and Porsha has a disease that makes her not go on long plane flights--it's called Being Cheapitis. Mark Deuber may or may not (but probably does) get his D sucked at The Round Up. The OC finale party was a dud and we don’t even know what The King Collection is. Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Find out who listeners would rather sleep with: Mark Deuber or David Beador? Would you rather have Peggy or Meghan as a mom? All answers are revealed. Shannon and Soggy Flicker both went through hormone therapy this week...we doubt it worked. We fell more in love with Dolores and Marg this week (and Archie the dog!). Andy was impressed with Brandi not bringing sexual chocolate to the reunion show. Cam was thankful as well. And taglines are officially out in Hotlanta! Also, it's Summer Mary's birthday, and we can only imagine what will happen... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Vicki finally got her long awaited casserole after returning back to the hotel from an Icelandic ER. Turns out it was “high blood pressure” aka an anxiety attack/dehydration/lack of sleep which we call a hangover. She’s a hair of the dog kind of girl and made up with Tamra over champs while Peggy is still in her room talking to Diko. In the Garden State, Soggy stopped taking her meds and continues to fly off the handle. She wants to get a sharp knife and put it in the Powerhouse with Pigtails. Speaking of wives with knives, in Dallas, Leanne says she is going to slit Brandi’s throat. Her engagement brunch didn’t go exactly as planned as half the party walked out, but we think she solidified another season all about her wedding. Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Teresa's mom was looking down on us when we experienced a technical difficulty the first time we tried to record because we were #blessed with the new of Shannon and David FINALLY separating! We are so looking forward to single Shannon and Kelly out on the town, securing us AND them for another season. Sparkle Dog food killed it (probably literally) in Dallas. We beg Soggy to keep her cookies to herself and Danielle may or may not have been a scumbag in what she told Teresa. Thanks for judging with us and we are sorry for the delay... but it's well worth the wait! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Blame Courtney from LA for being sick last week and missing a recording. We are so happy to be back in Jersey and see Soggy Flicker cry over salty crab cakes. We have a new stalker named SEXZ Chef. No one even flinched when Leann shattered a champagne flute over in Dallas. Now Kameron understands why they had plastic cups. In Orange County, Peggy confronts Shannon and then we have to hear her yell/cry the rest of the episode. How many tears will be in Iceland? Come judge with us... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Easter in the OC. But really we are just wondering what kind of egg the Dallas ladies put up their Vaaaaa-jay-jay? Plastic or hard boiled? David wants Shannon to get all spoons out of her mouth, including the silver one. "Just kidding Dear." Sexual chocolate was really the star in Mexico aka the black dildo that Kameron Westscott wanted in pink. And who's lying Brandi or Cary about doctors killing people on the table? Come judge with us!P.S. Don't forget to give us a 5 star review and DM us for horrible advice! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KIDashian spin off coming 2018 featuring Kimye 3.0, Khloe, and baby lip kit Kylie. We just can't keep up with the Kardashians. In the OC, Peggy held her ground about cancer and refereeing, but not peanut galleries. Leanne got MVP this week accusing Cary of doing yoga and Mark receiving BJs at the Round Up. We also got to see 2 boob jobs, one by a plastic surgeon and the other by a "gyno". Please use your Cover Girl powder for recovery and come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly Godd's farewell 32G party was a BUST (pun intended). Shannon yelled at Tamra like she was her daughter and had yet another mental breakdown on camera. Vicki still claims she's not a con artist and we don't understand why Steve and his kind eyes like her. In Dallas, the HonesTea didn't go so well. Leanne, sans her new engagement ring, blamed her carnie past on calling Cary a C-U-Next-Tuesday. Oh, and per usual, but more than normal, lots of ADD this episode...come judge with us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ricky, Tamra's Gay of Honor, dropped a bomb this week claiming he has seen Eddie make out with men. He even claimed Tamra liked it. Is this true or another cancer scam? Do we like Brandi of Dallas and her botched facelift and light eyebrows? In Paradise, Deanie babies became the villain and we had to hear about Taylor taking all of Derek in...it made us feel uncomfortable. Speaking of uncomfortable, Courtney is trying out for my 600 lb life to get gastro bypass surgery. Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For the last time, it's about Tom. Andy Cohen reported LIVE right from Lu's Sag Harbor home. She looked skinny and Andy dived right in, asking her brutal questions. He asked: Do you feel like a chump? Did either of you cheat? What were you fighting about? Are you embarrassed? Did the girls tell you "told you so!"? Are you ever going back to The Regency? It was everything we needed for closure. Meanwhile, in the OC, the girls dressed up as men. Shannon was Bret Michaels and the rest of the girls were white trash (especially Tammy Sue), and then Lydia showed up. We were excited to see Meghan King Edmonds and her PI side come back out. Vicki wasn't as pleased and was upset she didn't get invited to the bingo party. In Dallas, we question if Stephanie is a social climber. But enjoy that her and Brandi are back to being BFFs. Below Deck kicks back off with Captain Lee showing no mercy. And we do not approve of Dean's actions in Paradise, but Kristina needs to get over her two week fling! Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The most anticipated interview to end the summer is approaching... Andy Cohen sits down with Lu at her home in The Hamptons. Hear our predictions and wrap up why Sonja was such a C-U-Next-Tuesday to Tinsley; She isn't your slave or intern! We are snoring through the OC but appreciate Shannon and Kelly Godd making amends. Also, Shannon we get, you are FAT. In Paradise, Corinne over drank and and blamed it on "medication." Poor Demario. And we have to keep dealing with that teetotaler, Taylor. We've finally boarded the Dallas train, so hop on and COME JUDGE WITH US! (Oh yeah, and help us get to 10K by Labor Day on our Instagram, @twojudgeygirls!) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sip n' Snooze this week with the OC. Peg and her fried hair need to go. We are so sick of the Vicki and Kelly vs Tamra and Shannon fight. Let's move on and whoop it up! It's still about Tom in New York. BAN THAT REGENCY. Chris Harrison gave us an after school special about consent. Paradise opened back up but the closure gave some "couples" too much time to think and hate each other. Won't you judge with us? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you miss us?! Where were you when you found out about Tom and Lu divorcing? Missy didn't see that coming! Is Meghan King Edmonds the voice of reason this season? Lydia is making Doug getting his balls chopped off. Peggy and her yellow lambo physically show Meghan how to zip her lips. All hail to Sonja and Dorinda in Mexico, please pass them more tequila, clothing is optional. Was Tinsley saying fuck you or thank you to Sonja? And how did Bryan win the The Bachelorette? Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

WE ARE BACK! And we are watching Kelly Godd send all 174 pounds of Shannon off the rails. Luanne was our spirit animal this week as we share our own stories of falling when drinking. And our ADD is as strong as ever. We also have a lil VPR in Mexico scoop! Also, who is Steve? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we breakdown the final four contestants on The Bachelorette. Peter, we know you don't want to win. We think that Craig should eat cheese while Naomi goes down as we believe in the best of both worlds. The OG of the OC returns and she is going big! We have cringeworthy moment with Shannon and David over quinoa bowls and weight gain. Tamra and Lydia go to Bible Study. Bethany disinvites Ramona to Mexico but she is still going and Sonja has a lot to say about her nether regions. Mary is praying she gets prescribed diet pills and we are just praying she makes it safely to Colombia! Won't you judge with us?ALSO, Two Judgey Girls is going LIVE on Tuesday, July 25th, and we want you to join us! We’re doing live chats that you can be a part of, either on video or in the text chat, using this awesome new app called Smiletime. Download it in the app store: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/smiletime-collaborate-livestream-chat-together/id941425252?mt=8Then subscribe to The Fantasy Suite, by clicking the heart inside the room, and don’t forget to allow notifications so that we can holler at you when the chat is starting! We can’t wait to hang with you guys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BONUS EPISODE: Keep up with Courtney & Mary for this exclusive breaking news story of Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna. This mini-sode talks all details of the instagram posts, temporary restraining orders, revenge porn and that you don't mess with Rob's robes! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Dorinda got MVH (Most Valuable Housewife)! CLIP, CLIP, CLIP! She had the "shampoo effect" and channeled her inner Mob Wife, she also forgot her luggage to Vermont. We continue to loathe Bethenny and hearing about how her life is worse than everyone elses. Do you have sympathy for Tinsley? Mary was happy to see Kathryn and TRav rekindle their romance. Meanwhile Courtney continues to do dolphin inpersonations and we started a #BanLandon campaign. Lyle proposes to Catherine and was denied based on finances. The Bachelorette was a European Massacre. Rachel sent home 9 men and we think we know her final four: Eric, Bryan, Peter, and DeanieBaby! Listen to figure out what a BBHJ is...Also, do you like our new theme song? Come judge with us! And don't forget to leave your five star review! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we watch Carole and Dorinda go to the Women's March. Courtney and Mary reveal what they did that day...it was a little different. We discuss Ramona and her face lift, we mean edgy ponytail. We have mastered Landon's dolphin sex voice, definitely take a listen. Ashley forgets her pants again, but never forgets her lingerie. Mary learns the meeting of coitus thanks to The Bachelorette spelling bee and the game "I want to eat your butt." Write us a review, like us on Facebook, and follow us on Instagram! Oh, and come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mary & Courtney discuss the closure of Bachelor in Paradise. Luann got 5 minutes of fame to show off her Palm Beach wedding (plus Mary & Luann own the same robe!), while the other cougars are out to play. Sonja lets Frenchie out of his cage but into her house and Tinsley brings her 23 year old boy toy. Courtney was literally brought to tears by Kathryn, Kensie, and Thomas. And we continue to wonder about Ashley and her high wasted bathing suits while still trying to figure out the correct pronunciation of Louis. Also, we discover Chef Adam is a sociopath, but Mary would NOT kill him in a game of FMK. Come judge with us... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Courtney & Mary have a jam-packed episode for you! We question Ramona, her sanity, and whisper-wine-breath apologies. Bethanny wants the sympathy card and tells everyone why she has the worst life, but does she really? In Charleston, Landon and Thomas question if they are soulmates...we question if they reproduce with each other and their babies' brain cells. We confirm Ashley does work for Delta and that Catherine cheats on Lyle all at one dinner party. Rachael Lindsay has won over our hearts and DeMario finds out that karma is a bitch. And who's a good boy? Copper's a good boy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is Bravo-centric, featuring Mary's trip to visiting Courtney in LA, and boy did we make it nice! With a trip to Pump, Sur, and visiting Daddy aka God aka Andy Cohen at WWHL, we lived a lifetime in less than 48 hours. We also break down if the South is still Charming, if the Indian dinner was culturally appropriate, if Nelson is a waspy heterosexual and the beginnings of the Berzerkshires. Come judge with us or just judge us, whichever you feel is better! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BONUS EPISODE! This is an exclusive episode to recap the most "controversial" season of the bachelorette. Will the "skeptic" Rachel Lindsay find love? Yes, Chris Harrison already told us. Meet the men: The tickle monster, Waboom, firemen, lawyers, the usual personal trainers, and chiropractors. Courtney and Mary dish on all the men and their predictions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week sure is busy! The Bachelorette is upon us and we hope we don't meet the Tickle Monster... Kourtney says we are NEVER EVER getting back together to poor Lord Disick. Bobby is turned on by girls who have poopy pants. Sonja, Ramona, and Tinsley continue to prey on the same men while sipping Tito's and soda with 3 limes. Shep is back on the bourbon and the rest of the SC cast joins in. Also, look for us on WWHL on Monday night! (No, we still haven't been called to be bartenders, but we will be in the audience!) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have so many questions this week: Who's Chelsea? Would you marry without a prenup? Why have we not heard ANYTHING about The Bachelorette? Is Bobby on steroids? Is Nelson gay? Was Princess Diana a hussy? Is Tinsley to blame for Sonja falling off the wagon? Is Ramona's invitation in the mail?! Have you ever driven past a guy's house that you like just to make sure he's home? All this and more on this week's episode of Two Judgey Girls. Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ALERT: We need to apologize for the beginning of the pod this week. PLEASE STICK AROUND TO LISTEN TO THE WHOLE THING! Mary & Courtney recorded this episode completely sober and yet, you'd never know it. This week we talk about Mary and Cameron's love of Wicca (Southern Charm), Kim turning into a Mob Wife going on Scott's side piece (KUWTK), and the drawn out election comes to a close with turtlenecks and red leather gloves, plus more! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you miss us?! Because we sure missed you! Mary & Courtney are back with a vengeance (and perhaps some rosé...) to dish on your favorite reality shows. This week we are all over the map, making sure to talk Bachelor updates and keeping up with Rob & Kaitlyn. We discuss the Scheana & Shay awkwardness, go South to check up on those Charmin' kids. We can finally finish up the reunion and Bunnygate in Beverly Hills and end in New York not really sure who is fighting or making up or hooking up in someone's daughters' bed. Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Courtney & Mary are in delightful moods this week as Mary is heading off to Spring Break in Mexico! (Will she do us all a favor and visit Andale's PLEASE?!) We discuss the reunions of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules. Talk our newest housewife obsession, Tinsley Mortimer. And GDit, Landon makes us want to ROAM away from our TVs and hang with billionaires, NOT millionaires. Also, cherish every moment of this weeks pod, as next week we will be off due to Mary's international travel. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week you get 2 podcasts for the price of 1: FREE! This episode we reunite with the RHONY, Sonja, and her vibrators. We watch PeeeKAAYYYY make the classic first season husband mistake and confront a housewife, Ice Queen Erika. LVP "cohosts" with Andy Cohen at the VPR reunion. Finally, we go down to the South to find out Tom has full custody of his kids and Shep is looking for his credit cards. Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is worth the wait! Courtney decided to go to Vegas towards the end of last week, delaying the release of Episode 13. However, we still manage to discuss all of the antics of our favorite Bravolebrities. Mary keeps us up to date with those Kardashians as well as the staying power of Nick and Erika Jayne on DWTS. The housewives continued their hot streak of keeping the season alive and we finally saw Two Bubbs say "I do." Won't you judge with us? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mary & Courtney felt something missing in their hearts with a few of their shows out of rotation. Mary found love in a hopeless place, spending her Monday night watching Dancing With The Stars. The Kardashians gave us all the feels with reliving Paris. The kids on Vanderpump actually got us excited for this wedding. But this week was all about our Ice Queen, Erika. And the real question Rinna wants an answer to: how much is rent at the coke den? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Courtney and Mary are celebrating the end of The Bachelor this week (10:15)! But we are in mourning for the end of Summer House--gone but not forgotten (18:22). We prep for the most expensive Wednesday wedding for Tom & Katie (27:53) and travel to Hong Kong for... a voiceover appointment? Well we weren't quite sure but we definitely prepped a look book (34:33). Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know it's International Women's Day? Let's celebrate by discussing our favorite women on TV! The Women Tell All, but in reality actually nothing (7:00). Cristina and Lindsay prove that you don't need enemies when you've got friends like them (19:47), SURprise! A photo shoot for these VPR kids & Stassi teaches us how to date (30:33). Erika can do no wrong and showed us her gentle side while we gear up for a trip to Hong Kong (37:54)! Come judge with us, won't you? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mary & Courtney are back this week discussing Oscars dramz, some of our faves joining DWTS, what's going on with Rob Kardashian, the sad sad life Raven from The Bachelor has led so far, Lisa Rinna "owning it", why Lindsay and Everett are Montauk's version of Ronnie & Sammi from Jersey Shore, and after 4 years being in New Orleans, we can finally leave, albeit with a hangover.Also, have you had the chance to review us yet? Please do. But obviously, 5 stars only. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Courtney & Mary break down this week of fabulous reality tv. We'd like to thank Bravo for really stepping up to the plate when ABC let us down. Hometowns made us love Corinne even more and turn on Vanessa. Drag fights entertained us throughout VPR. Rinna continued her downward spiral and Mary continued to defend--but not all of her actions are defendable. And Lindsay & Everett remind us that being single isn't really that bad. Come judge with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, we are so sorry for the delay--we are like Lisa Rinna and blaming something else, which is the storm in LA. We travel to Bimini to spend some time with the new Bachelorette, #progress! Our VIP, Kyle Cooke, turns 34, and we THRIVED when Katie Maloney got hit in the head with mardi gras beads. Did we mention that this marriage is doomed?! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Joe Simpson's appearance on Vanderpump Rules has Mary & Courtney reminiscing about the good ole days. Mary tries to defend Lisa Rinna, but she just needs to OWN IT! Is anybody making it through The Bachelor without falling asleep? And do we have to say much more than... KYLE COOKE! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do we love James Kennedy? You bet we do! Mary & Courtney are back discussing how boring The Bachelor is, debating whether or not Courtney and Nick share a lisp, laughing at how thirsty these side players are for James, loving how amazing Kyle Cooke remains to be, and hating on why Eden is THE WORST! Also, we went on location to The Flag and avoided Sea Org members. WHAT A WEEK! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mary & Courtney take a page from Erika Jayne and have zero f*@ks to give this week as they discuss Corinne and The Bachelor, Team Rinna v Team Vanderpump, why Jax would ever agree to a roast, and why Kyle is the perfect piece of a Bravo-sliced pie. And guys, lets get #freetom trending please. We're worried about him! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

EVERYBOOOOOODY, Courtney and Mary are back this week talking about The Bachelor (:40), Vanderpump Rules (17:40), Summer House (23:38) and a bit of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (28:57). Oh, and did you know that Mary loves former fatties? Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mary and Courtney are back! This week we discuss all the madness of the Golden Globes (2:05), the dalliances on The Bachelor (9:02), and the beautiful disaster that is Vanderpump Rules & Summer House (20:45). Thanks for judging with us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Courtney and Mary embark on the latest and "most controversial" season of The Bachelor. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.