Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our fourth "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for so many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode During the first 3 Sober Shorts we looked at the first 3 Tools in our toolbox Tool one was of course CONNECTION “Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path – So if you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was all about:- BUILDING YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says or as Glennon Doyle says:- “First the Pain, then the Rising” Todays tip from our Toolbox is all about MINDSET It’s about changing your thinking – about drinking The global alcohol industry spends trillions on marketing every year to convince us that we need their product.. The wine industry in particular has done a stunning job marketing to us ladies during the last 2 decades– Many women now believe that drinking wine is essential for a full and happy life. Add to that the fact that alcohol has become so normalized in our society that if you don’t drink you are considered a bit strange — alcohol really has become the only drug we have to justify not taking! Somehow we have to de-program ourselves — a nice analogy is to think of our subconscious mind as a computer — we need to reboot and load some new software. Our subconscious is full of false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example:- - we need alcohol to socialize - we deserve a drink at the end of the day - we need a drink to cope with our stress The first step is to identify your limiting beliefs.. Somehow we have to overturn those beliefs – one by one we can do that in two stages — intellectually and then by our behavior which will build new neural pathways in our brain. Here is an example:- If you are convinced that you will never be able to socialize without alcohol and you are going to lose all your friends…. Overturn that belief intellectually — write something like “I can enjoy time with my family and friends without drinking alcohol” in your journal. Sadly it’s not quite that easy — now you have to “do the work”.. You have to actually do it - socialize without alcohol — again and again.. Spoiler alert — you will probably hate it but you must keep going so that it will stick as you build a new neural pathway See each event as a challenge. Write it up in your journal — how did you feel, how long did you stay, did you manage to enjoy any part of the evening? If you have been drinking/socializing for years then it will take months to convince your subconscious that you can have fun without it — but it’s definitely possible. You can believe it because I did it myself It just takes courage and perseverance. It means pushing out of our comfort zone We give alcohol far too much credit for the good times and now you have to “uncouple” that alcohol/fun association. After all when we were children we didn’t need alcohol to have fun, we didn’t grab a beer from the fridge when we got home from school to help us recover from double maths! Keep socializing sober and gradually it will get easier and easier — until one evening you will realize that you had a great time — and you weren’t drinking — yay! That’s not the end of the journey but it is a breakthrough. There will be more social events which feel awkward and endless but gradually you will better and better at this. You will begin to relish the fact that you can jump in your car at the end of the evening and drive home safely — wake up with a clear head and perfect recall. So that’s our Sober Short for today – Changing your Thinking – About Drinking All about mindset which is essential for this journey – willpower is helpful at the beginning but its not sustainable.. If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me [email protected] And don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – its full of recovery stories and expert advice– its called Tribe Sober and it comes out every Saturday

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! If you are as old as I am then you may remember when rock music was all about “sex, drugs and rocknroll” I still remember going to a rolling stones concert in London which was held the day after their guitarist Brian Jones had been found dead in his swimming pool. As he was only 27 years old he joined the tragic line up of other talented artists who died at the age of 27 – including Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse and Janis Joplin. But times are changing – the music business is a multi billion dollar business and everything that rock stars do remains on the internet for posterity. My guest this week has a job that you may well envy if you are into rock music – he tours the world for a living – running concerts. He’s also got a podcast called “Brenton on Tour” In this episode Brent didn’t have a hectic “rock bottom” but as his responsibilities grew he realised that he needed to be super sharp at all times during his tours. He manages huge budgets and a complex schedule. He found himself planning his drinking – if he had three days off work then he knew that he would be drinking and he wouldn’t be at his best during some of that time He began to feel that he needed to make a choice between drinking – or his career and family. We agreed that even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us (and it certainly doesn’t destroy everybody) it often prevents us from reaching our potential. Brent believes that a lot of people think they are fine as they don’t have an obvious “problem” but in fact they would be a lot sharper and more energetic without it. We talked about the fact that sometimes we have a perception that we have a boozy crowd of friends but when we stop we sometimes discover that we were the ringleader ;-) Brent had Covid and was so pleased that he was not drinking when lockdown came around. We agreed that Yes we do sometimes lose friends when we stop drinking but those drinking buddy relationships are often replaces with new and deeper friendships. Brenton got sober with a combination of exercise, coffee, creating podcasts – and Clare Pooley! I loved his story of connecting with Clare who was firmly on Team Brent – the journey she describes in her Sober Diaries mirrored Bretts experience – she stressed the importance of getting to 100 days and then of course he didn’t want to waste his sober days so he carried on He even had a major wobble at several months in – then discovered that Clare had the same experience. Reading how she regretted giving in to the caving kept him on track. That’s exactly the kind of thing that happens in our community – people reach out because they are tempted or because they feel miserable and someone who is further down the road will always say “when I was at that stage this is what I did” – connecting with people at different stages of the journey is invaluable. We talked about Clare’s inspirational blog – the Obstacle course - and agreed that the worse thing is to fall on and off the wagon. Brent has experienced many benefits during his 3 years of sobriety – mental clarity and more energy to name just two. Saving time is a huge benefit – no longer are we planning the drinking, doing the drinking and recovering from the drinking. The podcast interview we did took place in the morning on one of his days off – he said that normally he would be sleeping but instead he was up and ready to talk to me about sobriety! - As he put it he was very happy to replace his search for alcohol with a search for knowledge That got me thinking that the combination of having extra time as well as more energy and creativity explains why many of our community have gone on to develop new interests and connections since they got sober. We did agree that getting sober is like saying goodbye to your best friend and you heard him promise to write a “Goodbye to Alcohol” letter for our website. With a job like his I obviously wasn’t going to let Brent off the hook without getting the inside scoop the drinking habits of todays rock stars For a long time substance abuse was cool…but now not so much Brent’s been in the music business for 20 years and these days it’s the “cleanest” it’s ever been. Huge amounts of money are spent on travel, hotels and stadiums so the promoters expect their artists to be well behaved – and of course concert tickets are not cheap these days so the fans want value for their money. A bad performance will live online for ever and can really damage a band’s reputation. There are many sober rock stars these days and their image does not suffer when they ditch the booze. This is such a good trend and many young people may be inspired to follow the example. So according to an article called “the sober rebranding of rock n roll” there are many sober rock stars – here are six: Jennifer Hudson, Elton John, Eminem, Keith Urban, Steven Tyler – and Neil Young. If you have a listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 68 you can hear the recovery story of punk musician

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our third "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode During the first two Sober Shorts we looked at Tools number one and two in our toolbox Tool one was CONNECTION “Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path – and also to connect to yourself On episode 69 of the Tribe Sober podcast you can hear our Yoga Teacher Tamsin explaining how yoga can enable us to reconnect with our bodies in recovery – Tribe members have access to a daily yoga class with Tamsin which is a wonderful start to the day. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you get So today we are going to look at Tool number 3 BUILD YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH Our emotional maturity stalls when we start drinking heavily – so I must have been 18 for a long time! If we’ve been numbing our feelings for years we haven’t learned how to deal with the difficult times It’s a bit of a cliché to say that difficult times are “character building” but they are…they build resilience Our wonderful coach Lynette always tells us that we must “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” and I think that is so true It’s really hard to do that at first but (to quote Lynette again) – “what’s wrong with hard?” We have to learn to sit with our feelings – not try to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” When I was drinking and I felt miserable I would pour myself a glass of bubbly to “perk myself” up – it worked but I usually overdid it and felt even worse the next day! Now that I am sober, life is not all sunshine and roses BUT if I feel miserable I will just take a breath and remind myself that yes today is not great but by tomorrow (or certainly the day after) I am going to feel fine again. We need to accept that we were not put on earth to be happy 24/7 whatever our Instagram feed says – the human experience is to deal with the ups and the downs and learn from them if possible. To quote the Victor Frankl – “we are not put on earth to seek pleasure (in spite of what Freud teaches) or to seek power (in spite of Adlers teaching) – we are put on earth to find meaning and purpose in our lives” And it’s our pain that will lead us to our purpose – I was in a lot of pain during my struggles with alcohol, but I eventually reached out for help which not only led me out of my own addiction but enabled me to find my purpose and help others to change their relationship with alcohol. So instead of numbing out we need to learn to reconnect with ourselves and this is where yoga can play a role – listen to episode 69 with our TS yoga teacher We need to learn to be Warriors Glennon Doyle has a brilliant Super Soul podcast – called “First the Pain, then the Rising” She talks about how alcohol becomes the “Easy Button” which we use to bypass pain – but in fact pain is our greatest teacher and we should embrace it and welcome its power Emotional pain will build resilience which will enable us to cope with future challenges The pain may be big but our courage is bigger The journey of the sober warrior is to stop hiding from the pain– instead you need to march straight into the pain You need your pain “Life is full of pain and anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something” Heartbreak is the greatest teacher of all -don’t use the easy button top to avoid it – use it as your professor to guide you towards others – and there you will find your purpose – there you find your tribe -nothing bonds people so greatly as having been through the same struggle – that is the magic of the recovery movement Our collective pain is becoming our collective power as we learn to thrive in our alcohol free lives and call out Big Alcohol and its marketing… Pain will connect us to our purpose – and our tribe Thinking of Tribe Sober for a moment – many of our members have been brought very low with their struggles with alcohol – when they finally reached out to us and stopped drinking they were certainly in pain – but by connecting with others in the same situation they were able to learn how to use that pain to grow – and to discover their purpose FIRST OUR PAIN – THEN OUR RISING Quote from Glennon Doyle “the willingness to dwell in our discomfort and truly listen is how we turn our pain into power” So that’s the Sober Short for today – Our Third Tool

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Quite a few people in our tribe found their way to us after hearing me chat to the fabulous William Porter on his Friday Night Live spot which you can see HERE I met this weeks podcast guest when I was hanging out on the Alcohol Explained Facebook group – Stacy is a moderator on that group The French have a reputation for being “moderate drinkers” but that is actually a bit of a myth – they come in at number 11 on a global league table for heavy drinking with UK and SA coming in below! Stacy lives in France and works with William Porter – she’s been helping him to promote the French version of Alcohol Explained and also runs an IG group called "Alcool Explique" so if you are French or living in France please follow her Stacy has also helped William to create his online course and now she is helping me to put our workshops on line.. In this episode Stacy is only 34 years old so her Drinking Career was not that long – but it was intense She grew up in the US where the legal drinking age is 21 so when she spent a semester of her university course in France she found herself with unlimited access to booze Stacy began drinking with enthusiasm – no doubt heady with the combination of leaving home in the US and being free to drink as much as she wanted to Drinking was certainly normalised in her college crowd but she accepts she was one of the “heavier” drinkers As her contempories graduated and transitioned into grown up life many of them drank less – but not Staci! that’s when she realised that she had become dependent That’s what happens for many of us – we don’t even realise the extent of our dependency until we try to cut down – alcohol is insidious and we need to watch out for red flags If you are not sure what a red flag is then you need a copy of our PDF called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email [email protected] to get a copy Stacy eventually got a job as a part time teacher in France which left her with plenty of free time – for drinking.. Her drinking ramped up and she found herself setting (and breaking) rules around her drinking She also googled “am I an alcoholic” although of course she knew the answer! Her drinking sent her anxiety sky high until one day she had a melt down – her doctor put her on anti depressants but as she was still drinking they made no difference Like many of us Stacy had no “off” switch and she would drink until she blacked out – one day turning up for her waitressing job blackout drunk – unsurprisingly she got fired on the spot! She went to her doctor who told her she must take a 3 week break from alcohol and if she could do that then she was ok – so she white knuckled her 3 weeks (with the help of Xanax which her doctor had given her) And went back to drinking – she explained that having a drinking problem is France is “complicated” You are either an “alcoholic” or you are fine – a well dressed professional woman just did not meet the stereotype of an “Alcoholic” Looking back on her drinking she realised it got worse and worse over a period of 9 years That’s the thing with alcohol dependence – once you’ve crossed a line with your drinking it will never get “better” – it’s a bit like being in an elevator when the only way it goes is down That’s why moderation is not an option for many of us – we just have to ditch the stuff and learn to enjoy our alcohol free lives Stacy was waiting for a sign – waiting for a rock bottom and it came during lockdown The bars were closed and she was working from home – so she stocked up on wine boxes and got stuck in – her weekends became a black hole of drinking and blacking out One day she was having coffee with a friend who recommended a couple of books – AE and Naked Mind She read Alcohol Explained by William Porter and it literally changed everything – something clicked for Stacy and she knew she was done with drinking Everything feel into place for her – she began to join the dots and realise that her sleeping problem, her anxiety and her chronic lack of energy was all linked to her heavy drinking Education is key to this journey – once we realise the extent of the damage our drinking is doing we feel less and less inclined to drink.. When people join Tribe Sober we urge them to visit out Amazon bookstore on the website and get stuck into the quitlit (including AE of course!) – reading quitlit and listening to podcasts is a real education – many people have NO idea just how much harm alcohol does They have no idea that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases Even if alcohol doesn’t destroy our health it will certainly prevent us from reaching our potential When Stacy got sober she finally got in touch with her emotions and realised that her 9 year relationship with her partner was no longer right for her We find that in our community – once people get sober it’s as if the mist has cleared and they can see what they really want – I’m

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our second "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode Tool number two in our toolbox is exercise - we want you to Get Moving! We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively We seem to have a lot of runners in our tribe – I always remember one lady telling me that she would wake up with a crashing hangover and then she’d force herself out for a run – often with tears running down her face as she felt so awful. These days she is sober and she runs twice as fast and enjoys every moment! There is a growing body of evidence about the benefits from regular exercise which we need to be doing all throughout our lives – not just when we are young. Exercise also has a role to play for people in recovery On episode 69 of the Tribe Sober podcast you can hear our Yoga Teacher Tamsin explaining how yoga can enable us to reconnect with our bodies in recovery – Tribe members have access to a daily yoga class with Tamsin which is a wonderful start to the day. But apart from yoga we need a more general exercise regime so lets look at some of the benefits of exercise Exercise will release endorphins which relieve stress/anxiety and give you a natural high – just the job in those early days of sobriety when you are feeling a bit flat without the buzz of alcohol Exercise improves our body image and our mental health – in fact its an essential, unavoidable part of being in good physical and mental health It also improves self-confidence and self-esteem and is a genuine reward for your body and mind — unlike alcohol, which is more like a punishment." If we’ve been drinking for years then we will have deep neural pathways marking the habit we have developed – the trick is to replace this unhealthy habit with a healthy habit – and a daily exercise routine does the job perfectly Stick at it for 66 days and you will have build a whole new neural pathway! My daily habit for decades had been to open a bottle of wine at 6pm – when I quit drinking I simply put on my headphones at 6pm and went walking by the sea for an hour – every.single.day – this not only got me through my “danger hour” but it helped me to build a new healthy habit Now that I am nearly 7 years sober I still walk at 6pm every evening – not to avoid drinking but just because I love it and have built a new neural pathway –it just doesn’t feel right if I don’t do it! We can feel a bit low in early sobriety and exercise will not only reduce your depression but it can give you a sense of purpose Have a listen to Tribe Sober podcast number 55 where I talk to Dr Loretta Breuning who explains that we need projects when we are in recovery – working towards a project will trigger our happy brain chemicals and an exercise program fits the bill perfectly Draw up targets and go a little further each time you run or walk for example – if you lift weights then gradually increase the weights There is more and more evidence emerging that we must keep exercising as we get older – even if you don’t feel up to running these days then just get walking. Get a Fitbit and make sure you hit that 10k target every single day. We really have to use it or lose it! If you are middle aged or older, leading a sedentary lifestyle and drinking alcohol then just do these two things and you will transform your life Ditch the Drink! Exercise Daily! If that sounds impossible then check out tribesober.com and we’ll get you started on this life changing journey! At Tribe Sober our goal is to enable you not only to quit drinking but then to go on and actually THRIVE in your alcohol free life – and we cannot be healthy and thrive if we are not exercising regularly So that’s your Sober Short for today – Our second Tool from our Sober Toolbox – Get Moving If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me [email protected] – or if you’d like to share your exercise routine with us we’d love to hear from you And don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – its full of recovery stories and expert advice– its called Tribe Sober and it comes out every Saturday morning. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! We created TS because we believe it’s really hard to change your drinking habits alone – so at TS we are all about community so on this weeks podcast we are featuring 2 ladies who signed up for our Sober Spring Challenge. At the time of recording we are in late January but if you are up for taking a break then just sign up for our January Challenge which is open until 31st Jan – for a small donation to a good cause we offer community and online support for an alcohol free month. We’ve currently got 115 people going through the Challenge so sign up today and join the fun –they are chatting away all day long on their WhatsApp group – sharings their journey and passing on tips. Just go to tribesober.com and hit January challenge. If you’re listening to this after January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” and we’ll put you on our 30 day starter challenge. So lets have a listen to two Sober Springers reporting back on how it felt to take a break from the booze. In this episode First up we have Lindy who managed an awesome 66 out of 66 for her sober spring challenge It struck me the other day that just as alcohol dependence is “progressive” so is sobriety if you give it a chance. Jo is a pretty good example – when she signed up for her first SS 3 years ago she was not even thinking about giving up drinking for good but by her third SS she had decided that sobriety was for her. The annual SS challenges have been getting easier and easier for Jo and she came to the conclusion that alcohol free living has a lot to offer. So lets pull together a few TIPS from our ladies… Lindy’s tip of having mini-goals is a great one. The F (forever) word is just too scary in the early days – so take it in small steps – 30 days, 66 days, 100 days, 6 months and then a year – and once you’ve hit that one year milestone its very unlikely you’ll want to go back – have a listen to episode 15 of the Tribe Sober podcast to listen to Kai who did our very first SS Challenge, implemented the mini-goal approach and is still sober to this day. When Lindy found herself needing a drink every night she was aware that it was a red flag – its an important tip to be aware of the signs that you may be becoming dependent so talking of red flags why not get a copy of our PDF– its called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email [email protected] and I’ll send you on Apart from keeping an eye open for red flags CHECK YOUR DEPENDENCE – just as we have an annual medical check up we should check our alcohol dependence regularly - I’m always encouraging people to sign up for our challenges to test their dependency as 20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years – and Jo has been cleverly monitoring her relationship with alcohol by signing up for the SSC every year – and very happily noticing that it was becoming easier and easier until she finally decided to go alcohol free permanently BENEFITS Lindy no longer feels bloated and those late night cheese binges after a few glasses of wine are no more. Lindy loves feeling alert and energised every single day but the real gamechanger for her was that her level of anxiety has plummeted Jo has progressed from someone who didn’t even consider giving up drinking to someone who is embracing her alcohol free lifestyle with enthusiasm. This was a three year journey which proves that the trick is to keep at it! If you enjoyed this episode then you can hear another 8 conversations about the power of taking a break from the booze by listening to episodes 75, 76 and 79. Don’t forget to follow us and share the podcast - and we would be SO grateful if you would leave us a review Take a screenshot of your review and email it to [email protected] – we’ll read it out on the show and send you something nice to say thank you! It’s still January as we record this so if you are ready to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and test your dependence then please check out our January Challenge on tribesober.com – for a small donation to a good cause you will get online and community support for an alcohol free month And if its not January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” – as a new member we’ll chat to you about your needs and design you a tailor made sobriety journey that will change your life! SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our very first "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode Tool number one in our toolbox is connection…connection is the opposite of addiction A fact that has been proved by the ratpark experiment way back in the 1960’s If you haven’t seen Johann Haris fabulous TED talk where he describes this experiment then please check it out here Once your drinking has crossed a line you need to connect with others on the same path… If you are wondering whether you have crossed this imaginary line then try to drink within the “low risk limits” of one and a half bottles of wine a week – or 6 beers – if you can’t then you probably need to make some changes Giving up alcohol is a lonely path – it has been completely normalised in our society and the peer pressure is strong… It’s the only drug we need to justify NOT taking so you need to find your people People like you who understand that “no you cant just drink less, or drink more slowly or have one glass” People who are or were in exactly the same place so they “get you” I spent ten long years trying to tackle my drinking problem alone – my attitude was that I’ve got myself into this mess so I’ll get myself out of it – and nobody need be any the wiser. The problem was I had no-one to connect with when I was struggling, nobody to inspire me when I was fed up – nobody to hold me accountable when I fell off the wagon – again and again. Like many women I was ashamed of my little problem – and I was also totally reluctant to let the wine go completely I thought I would be able to “control” it and drink normally – become a normal drinker! Of course now I understand that was an impossible dream and if I could give one piece of advice to anyone considering their relationship with alcohol it would be:- Don’t waste your time with Moderation Mary as we call her– just ditch the stuff and you will find peace. Admittedly you will have to work out HOW to live without your best friend but that’s where we come in. I’m not the only one who wasted time trying to control an addictive drug – a recent study by the Tempest – 11 years Always remember that people who CAN moderate just do it – alcohol is not even on their radio and they certainly won’t be listening to this podcast! So if you’re listening to this and you are worried about your drinking then don’t waste 11 years – reach out to someone today.. When I finally reached out and got some help I realized that I was not alone, I was not broken, there was nothing wrong with me – I was just one of the 20% of social drinkers who had become dependent over the years.. Alcohol is so sneaky, it really creeps up on us – like many women I drank socially during my 20’s and 30s and then began to use it to manage my anxiety and to relax during my 40s and 50s – when drinking alone became one of my favourite occupations! If you want to hear my drinking story and what finally drove me to quit and how I did it then you can hear that on Tribe Sober podcast episode 1. So our first tool in the Tribe Sober toolkit is to find your people Its SO much easier to find your people these days – 10 years ago we only had AA but now there are many online sober communities, an endless supply of alcohol free drinks and we even have a Sober Magazine – Hola Sober! So find your people and then “work your tribe” – by which we mean stay connected and share your ups and downs We would love to be your people so do give us a try, for an affordable monthly subscription we offer plenty of support including daily Tribe Chats to enable you to check in and get some extra help if you need it.. – click here for more info So that’s your Sober Short for today – Top Tool from our Sober Toolbox – work your tribe Find your people – and stay connected – because connection is the opposite of addiction If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me [email protected] Don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – full of recovery stories, expert advice and plenty of advice – its called Tribe Sober and comes out every Saturday morning More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! We created TS because we believe it’s really hard to change your drinking habits alone – so at TS we are all about community so on this weeks podcast we are featuring 2 ladies who signed up for our Sober Spring Challenge. At the time of recording we are in late January but if you are up for taking a break then just sign up for our January Challenge which is open until 31st Jan – for a small donation to a good cause we offer community and online support for an alcohol free month. We’ve currently got 115 people going through the Challenge so sign up today and join the fun –they are chatting away all day long on their WhatsApp group – sharings their journey and passing on tips. Just go to tribesober.com and hit January challenge. If you’re listening to this after January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” and we’ll put you on our 30 day starter challenge. In this episode Every year we do a Sober Spring Challenge - 66 alcohol free days - two of our Sober Springer are sharing their experience Our first Sober Springer is Roz, a Brit living in Spain. Roz drank for decades but once she joined the tribe - she stopped and never went back - "Tribe Sober is my family" - she says Our second Springer is Annick from Belguim - she also found that "connection is the opposite of addiction" and the WhatsApp group kept her on track. Her first 30 days were tough but by Day 80 she was flying! After helping hundreds of people to get sober I am convinced that this doesn’t have to be a lifelong struggle. It involves giving it your all for the first 6 months when you are basically concentrating on “not drinking” and learning as much as you can. The rest of that first year is about learning to navigate our alcohol drenched society, developing new interests and learning to thrive in your alcohol free life. Like many women Annick was quite health conscious– she ate healthy foods and did yoga – but she drank. For so many of us alcohol is the missing part of the puzzle – so many of us are filled with fear and reluctant to let it go. All we can tell you from the other side is that you will GAIN so much more than you will lose if you ditch the drink! Your drinking isn’t a PROBLEM – it’s actually giving you an OPPORTUNITY – to ditch the stuff and open up your life – that’s a valuable reframe by Tribe Member Lucy! Talking of Lucy, Annick referred to our “Why” exercise which was designed by Lucy and has helped SO many of our members – if you’d like a copy just drop a line to [email protected] and I’ll send it to you A few tips and benefits from my conversations with Roz and Annick TIPS Find a community – you heard Roz say that TS has become her family and Annick said the WhatsApp group helped her to feel less alone – it’s so important to realise that we are not alone in this struggle – we are not broken, we are not diseased – we just got addicted to an addictive substance like 20% of social drinkers do – every single year. “Connection is the opposite of addiction” so find your people – maybe we are your people – go to ts.com and hit “join our tribe” and find out more about the support we offer. Annick got to the point where moderation no longer crossed her mind. This is a huge step – when we accept that we can never drink alcohol we find peace. Admittedly we have some work to do to change our habits but it’s entirely possible and so worthwhile. Always remember that people who moderate just moderate – alcohol is not even on their radar - If you are listening to this you probably can’t moderate or you wouldn’t find it interesting. Final tip is to give it your all. Ros and Annick really “threw” the book at their sobriety – Ros checked the community messages first thing in the morning and last thing at night, attended all the zoom meetings, listened to the podcasts and read the quitlit. Annick even listened to the podcasts twice! Give it your all and get this sobriety thing nailed within six months – then work on thriving in your alcohol free life and you will never look back! Lets end with a couple of the many benefits that emerged from those conversations:- Ros sleeps well, wakes up happy and has lost weight without even trying! She’s just had her 71st birthday and says that sobriety is the best birthday present ever! Annick has boundless energy and “joie de vivre” and relates to the title of Catherine Grays book – “the unexpected joy of being sober” – like me she had absolutely no idea that sobriety could be full of joy! If you enjoyed this episode then you can hear another 6 conversations about the power of taking a break from the booze by listening to episodes 75 and 76. This week we have a PDF to give away – its called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email [email protected] if you’d like a copy Don’t forget to follow us and share the podcast - and we would be SO grateful if you would leave us a review Take a screenshot of your review and email it

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! When I was contemplating sobriety I read a couple of books that really resonated with me – one was Caroline Knapp: Drinking a Love Story and the other one was Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol That book was published back in 2013 and it was a book that predicted the huge rise in risky drinking for women – a prediction that sadly has come true. In her book Ann skilfully combines in-depth research with her own moving story of alcohol abuse. She highlights the positive fact that women have closed the gender gap in their professional and educational lives BUT they have also achieved equality with men by drinking at unhealthy levels. Unfortunately our bodies are not equal to a man’s body when it comes to metabolising alcohol – we get dependent quicker and it damages our health to a higher degree. Ann explains how the alcohol industry had been ruthlessly targeting women for the last two decades – and how successful they have been In this episode Anns drinking became problematic as she hit menopause – her son was going off to college and she had empty nest syndrome. She became depressed but didn’t want anti depressants (as her mom had fallen prey to the combination of cocktails and Valium) so she started to rely on wine to “take the edge off” In her 50’s Ann became so worried about her drinking that she took herself off to rehab. However it didn’t work. Leaving rehab she had no idea how to navigate normal life and we agreed that this is a “missing piece” in some rehabs. She found herself sneaking drinks for 3 months and then began to feel suicidal – her ex husband suggested a meeting which was the beginning of her recovery For Ann her recovery meant she had to unpick her life and rebuild it so that it didn’t involve alcohol – this took years and year one was particularly hard. This got me reflecting on our Tribe Sober community. We sometimes get people saying "I haven’t had a drink for 2 weeks – why do I still feel rubbish?!" When we embark on this life changing journey I think we have to be patient and play the long game – listen to Tribe Sober podcast number 61 and you will hear Dr Dawn explain that for every year that we drank we should allow a month of recovery. What I’ve observed after helping hundreds of people to get sober is that it takes a year for sobriety to stick – 6 months of focusing on changing your behaviour so that you no longer drink, followed by 6 months of reconfiguring your life so that you can create a life you don’t want to escape from. As we always say you have to “throw the book at it” and give it your all – you heard Ann say that this journey is not for the faint hearted but the rewards are huge and the rest of your life will be healthier and happier – you know you’re worth it (as the hair colour ad used to say!) We talked about my decade of moderation and Anne reminded me that in Caroline Knapps book she says that the average period of “negotiation” we do is about 12 years. There has been a more recent study by the Tempest that says that it usually takes someone about 11 years between recognising that they have a problem with alcohol and reaching out for help This is where the power of community comes in – if I had been in a sober community when I was trying (and failing) to moderate my drinking, they would have told me to stop wasting my time trying to control and addictive substance. Of course now I know that once we have crossed a line with our drinking there is no going back – we just have to ditch the stuff and learn how to thrive in our alcohol free lives. So if you are in that period of “negotiation”, setting rules, trying to moderate don’t waste 11 years of your life – go to tribesober.com and join our community today. We agreed that the liquor industry has hijacked the feminist movement convincing us we need mommyjuice to parent and wine for self care. Anne highlighted these facts in her book 8 years ago and she feels that things have got even worse since then. Women have to get smart and as Ann put it “democratically we are equal but metabolically and hormonally we are not equal to men” Ann is part of the Hola Sober team with the wonderful Susan Christina (you can listen to Susan Christina on Tribe Sober podcast episode 67). Ann is excited about the way the modern recovery movement is evolving and how there are so many different ways to get sober these days. We talked about the fact that sobriety will give us so much more than it takes away – if you are having a wobble in your sobriety then do the exercise that Ann’s son made her do – a list of gains and losses. She talks movingly about this on her fabulous TED talk – I’ll put the link in the show notes. Ann loves writing and runs an 8 week online recovery writing course which will help you to write your memoir and then get published – check it out on her website which is https://www.anndowsettjohnston.com/ I’ll put the link in the shownotes I loved her stor

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week I’m interviewing one of South Africa’s national treasures - author, journalist, and political analyst Eusebius McKaiser. I first interviewed Eusebius in 2020 and that conversation remains our most downloaded episode – you can find it on Tribe Sober podcast episode 29 so please check it out later A couple of years later I ditched the drink, started Tribe Sober and noticed that he had signed up for our Dry January Challenge. Eusebius is now 3 years sober and is yet another example of how effective these short challenges can be – a taste of sobriety can sometimes bring about a permanent lifestyle change. If you are ready to try a Dry January then go to tribesober.com and check out the January challenge – for a small donation to a good cause you will get community and online support for an alcohol free month. In this Episode The sober curious movement is growing – we have an endless variety of AF drinks, many online sobriety groups and even our own magazine Hola Sober. Eusebius believes that people should be free to make “bad choices” in life but did agree with me that education is important. Alcohol is a legal drunk which damages our health and drinkers need to be aware of that. When tobacco advertising was banned the information about the link with lung cancer was all over the media – if alcohol advertising was banned we would hear a lot more in the media about the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer. Women need to know that drinking more than 3 glasses of wine a week will raise their breast cancer risk by 15% We tackled a couple of sobriety myths – first of all the myth that we can’t have fun without alcohol – the truth is that once you have navigated those early difficult months of sobriety then it’s easy to have fun without booze – and lovely not to have to pay the price of a hangover the next day! Our subconscious minds have been convinced by a combination of marketing and peer pressure that we need alcohol to enjoy ourselves – to deprogram this thinking we need to spend a few months socialising without alcohol – its not easy but treat it as a challenge and you will get there – your subconscious will eventually get it! The second myth we busted was the myth that we need the buzz of booze to be creative – Eusebius wrote some of his early essays when on his way down from heavy drinking sessions but feels he has done some of his best writing since he’s been sober. We talked about the social pressure to drink which is relentless and hard to cope with when we are in the early stages of sobriety – alcohol really is the only drug we have to justify NOT taking That’s why CHALLENGES are so great – especially our January Challenge – we can just say “I’m raising money for charity by doing a Dry January” – nobody can really argue with that one! We get more confident dealing with peer pressure to drink as time goes by and eventually many of us are proud of our sobriety and eager to talk about it! Eusebius always maintains that it’s not our responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking and is quite happy to be rude to people who interrogate him about his sobriety! We talked about dependency and I explained that I didn’t even realise what trouble I was in until I tried to cut down – and couldn’t. That’s another reason challenges are great – its an opportunity to test your dependency – if you can get through a month without booze easily then you are fine – if not then you may need to make some changes! Do a challenge at least twice a year to keep your eye on your level of dependence. A challenge is also useful if you want to cut down your drinking – low risk levels are just one and a half bottles of wine a week (or 6 beers) – so do a challenge, have a month off the booze and then it will be easier to reset your drinking pattern. Eusebius stressed that the Earthchild project helps children to find a moment of peace in their difficult lives. Yoga may be perceived as a middle class pastime but in fact the postures and the breathing bring a sense of calm to children who grow up surrounded by gang violence and poverty. We concluded with a few tips and benefits of sobriety:- Eusebius main benefit which he wasn’t even expecting has been the time he has regained now he no longer drinks – he loves getting up early at the weekend and getting on with his day His tip was to stock up on AF drinks – Dry January Challengers get a discount from DN.co.za My benefit was sleep – as drinkers we get only 2 cycles of REM sleep (we need 7) – over the years we build up a permanent sense of fatigue if we drink – even a month off the booze will boost our energy levels My tip was to find your people – its very hard to change your drinking alone so join tribe sober! So I do hope we have inspired you to sign up for the January Challenge SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got yo

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! We want to help you to make a healthy start to the new year so we've launched our 7th Annual Fundraiser which will provide you with online and community support for an alcohol free month - and enable you to help a disadvantaged child. Talk about a win-win! We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober - every year we run our Sober Spring Challenge - and then another one in January. On this week's podcast we hear from 3 people who did Sober Spring 2021 - why did they sign up? what was it like? what tips do they have? Let's hear from Jenny, Jimmi and Sybille:- In this Episode Our Challengers had plenty of useful tips to share Throw the book at it! Both Jenny and Sybille have been reading all the quitlit and listening to all the podcasts. As Sybille said if we understand the science behind alcohol dependence then we are more likely to stick with it – learn everything you can and eventually it will click! Work on your mindset – Sybille sees her alcohol free future as a very positive thing – a life full of benefits rather than some kind of punishment! Stock up on alcohol free drinks – if you are in South Africa and doing our January Challenge you can claim a discount from DrinkNil who will deliver to your door. Journalling was another important tip - buy a notebook, process your emotions and log your progress during the Challenge. We often have a vague feeling that we need to do something about our drinking but a challenge will enable you to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and take action - SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE "Alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking" so doing a challenge is a great "reason". If you have to explain to your family and friends why you are not drinking you can say "I'm raising money for charity by doing a Dry January!" An alcohol free month will enable you to experience some benefits of sobriety but to really experience the joys of alcohol free living you need to keep going a bit longer. You will meet others on the challenge who will be keep to extend the challenge to 66 days, 100 days - even six months! Another great tip we heard from our Challengers was to reconfigure your day - shake up your routine a bit and you won't miss alcohol so much! If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x PS How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast is released on Christmas Day so by the time you get to hearing it the festivities will be drawing to a close and your thoughts may be turning to 2022. We want to help you to make a healthy start to the new year so we've launched our 7th Annual Fundraiser which will provide you with online and community support for an alcohol free month - and enable you to help a disadvantaged child. Talk about a win-win! We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober - every year we run our Sober Spring Challenge - and then another one in January. On this week's podcast we hear from 3 ladies who did Sober Spring 2021 - why did they sign up? what was it like? what tips do they have? Let's hear from Claire, Helena and Pam:- In this Episode Like many of us Claire had fallen into the routine of drinking a bottle of wine every evening - and she wanted to make a change. Claire who wasn't sure that an online community would work for her - she thought she might be the "wrong generation" but in fact she loved it. She posted comments daily and felt a deep connection with the other challengers. She didn't find it that difficult. She had been "thinking about it" for so long that one she actually took action and signed up for the challenge she was more than ready - and got straight through 66 alcohol free days without a slip up! Then we heard from Helena who has struggled with drugs and alcohol for years but who is now making real progress. She was fascinated by the idea of a 66 day challenge and the fact that a new neural pathway can be created in this time. Pam explained that she had been worried about her drinking for a while and that the challenge finally made it clear to her that "moderation" was not going to work for her. Our Challengers had plenty of useful tips to share - "make a plan" was a big one - Claire explained that visiting an exclusive game farm carrying a huge bag of AF drinks may have bemused the staff but it enabled her to stay on track! Journalling was another important tip - buy a notebook, process your emotions and log your progress during the Challenge. Treat your Challenge as a research project - listen to podcasts, read the quitlit and learn everything you can. We often have a vague feeling that we need to do something about our drinking but a challenge will enable you to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and take action - SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE "Alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking" so doing a challenge is a great "reason". If you have to explain to your family and friends why you are not drinking you can say "I'm raising money for charity by doing a Dry January!" An alcohol free month will enable you to experience some benefits of sobriety but to really experience the joys of alcohol free living you need to keep going a bit longer. You will meet others on the challenge who will be keep to extend the challenge to 66 days, 100 days - even six months! Another great tip we heard from our Challengers was to reconfigure your day - shake up your routine a bit and you won't miss alcohol so much! If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x PS How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Revie

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast guest is Deb from Kentucky who is known as Mocktail Mom - she hosts an awesome IG live session on Monday night called Making Friends & Mocktails. She has her own recovery journey to share and like me she is a breast cancer survivor. Dramatically reducing your risk of breast cancer is one of the benefits of sobriety we don’t talk about much so we were both keen to highlight this issue during the conversation. In this Episode Deb had done lots of challenges - we chatted about the value of short challenges and agreed that they can be counter-productive – 30 days is not quite long enough to experience the real benefits of sobriety so we are just doing the hard bit – and in the process our subconscious is registering that sobriety is difficult and not much fun! Don’t let that put you off from doing our January Challenge though – it’s a great way to dip your toe into the waters of sobriety and connect with other sober curious people – what usually happens is that some people decide to keep going for longer – sign up by going to TS.com and tapping January Challenge Deb didn’t start drinking heavily until she turned 40 when she started using it to cope with some major life challenges. This is a pattern I am beginning to notice with some of the people I meet these days – rather than drinking socially in their 20’s and 30’s which led them to becoming dependent in mid life, they hardly drank much at all until they reached their 40’s or 50’s and then used it to cope with difficult times. People who do take up drinking later in life tend to hit it hard and within a decade Debs drinking had escalated to a level that worried her. She felt a lot of shame about her drinking – she felt she was driving a car with a trailer behind it – the trailer of shame! What motivated her to finally take action was the prospect of her 50th birthday – she had the blues and decided that she was just not living the life she was meant to be living..- so she signed up for another challenge – but this time it was different… When she signed up for her final 30 day challenge she was still lacking in confidence - so convinced she would fail that she told no-one… she didn’t tell her husband or friends – however what was different this time was that she connected with other people who were doing the challenge – people she could talk to freely – she felt less alone as previously she felt she was the only person with this kind of problem! Deb had “found her people” and sure enough a group of the challengers decided to keep going when they got to the end of the 30 days – this is the way to do it, step by step. Avoid the “F” word – it’s just too scary when we are at the beginning of this journey. Step by step is the way to go - we have so many examples of people who have signed up Sober Spring or our January Challenge and then have extended it – first to 100 days, then to 6 months, then to a year. Here the thing: once you’ve got to a year of sobriety you feel SO different, physically and mentally that you just won’t want to go back to drinking. You will be experiencing so many benefits that they will motivate you to carry on and it will become effortless – the new normal. So rather than your motivation coming from external forces (from your doctor, your family, a challenge) – your motivation will come from within - a much more powerful place. Deb learned the importance of planning – she would check in advance what drinks they were serving at the venue so she could decide what to drink and she would decide what she was going to say to people. She would play the movie forward which is one of our favourite tools here at Tribe Sober. We agreed that we felt embarrassed at first having to explain why we weren’t drinking but that passes with time and Deb now just says “I choose not to drink” and we agreed that “I’m just taking a break” is also a good one. I think we need to remember that although alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking it’s not our responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking – we must do what’s right for us. We agreed on the importance of not even contemplating having “one drink” – as Deb put it that would be a switch and she’d be off and looking for the party! We both notice that there is a bit of a societal shift towards sobriety these days – the #sobercurious movement is great and enables people who don’t even have a problem with alcohol to see what their lives are like without alcohol – to experiment a bit – and of course its so much lighter to say “I’m sober curious” than “I’m an alcoholic” (!) Deb listed her benefits which include better sleep, no more headaches, no more shame – she's lost weight and most important of all she feels a sense of freedom. I asked her for some tips for anyone listening who knows they need to make a change but is not ready to dive in just yet – her advice is to join some groups and just listen and lear

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast guest is an Art Therapist. Just as I didn’t realise how important yoga could be in recovery I also had no idea that Art Therapy had a role to play.. I interviewed Tribe Sobers yoga teacher Tamsin on episode 69 and today I’m chatting to Art Therapist – Samantha Davis Sami has operated a private Art Therapy practice for the past 18 years. She’s worked with people who struggle with stress, addiction, depression and also people wanting to discover more meaning and purpose in their lives. In this Episode Sami began by defining Art Therapy which involves “using art materials to help a client to communicate and express themselves with the guidance of a qualified therapist". We discussed how as adults many of us have lost the ability to play – we tend to get caught up in productivity and ticking boxes. We need to get back in touch with our creativity and art therapy can help us to do that. Some people feel intimidated at the thought of Art Therapy thinking that they need some artistic skill. This is not true at all and in fact Sam loves clients who come to her with no knowledge or aptitude for “art” – Art Therapy is in fact a way of getting in touch with our creativity and playfulness. Art therapy can play in important role in our recovery – it can help us to reconnect with ourselves and better understand who we really are. It can help us to decrease our reliance on alcohol and build new and different pathways and coping mechanisms. As drinkers some of us spent years numbing our feelings. Art therapy will help us to get back in touch with our feelings - and to express ourselves creatively. Sami sees the Art as the Bridge between what is inside and what is outside – it’s simply a way to express ourselves. We discussed the fragility of early sobriety where Art Therapy can play the role of holding a safe space where we can “check in”. We talked about the power of vulnerability and how art therapy allows us to express our vulnerability Sam explained the concept behind the vision board sessions which help us to reconnect with our passions using images, art materials etc – I’ve done one of these sessions and can really recommend it – a vision board allows us to express ourselves and then the power of manifestion will come into play. Our subconscious will register our vision and help it to become a reality. The vision board workshop is particularly useful for people in sobriety as it helps them to get back in touch with what they really enjoy doing. We have extra time on our hands when we stop drinking so we need to find constructive ways to use that time. Sam is quite happy to run a group vision board session for people in recovery so do get in touch with myself or Sam if you are interested. Sam explained that addictions mean that we are always busy focusing on our next fix which prevents us from being in the moment. Art Therapy can help with mindfulness and mental health generally – focusing on a creative project will enable us to get “in the flow” which can give our minds a welcome break from stress and anxiety. Art therapy can help us to build resilience and help us to recognize our triggers – all of which will help to prevent relapse. We often say that “connection is the opposite of addiction” here at Tribe Sober and we are referring to community. Sam helped me to realise that we also need to connect with ourselves – to get to know who we really are. Understanding ourselves better means that we can find new ways of coping – instead of using alcohol. At Tribe Sober we love learning about neuroscience, happy brain chemicals and our Lizard Brains – our gurus have been neuroscientist Staci Danfield who you can hear on episode 67 of this podcast and author of the Happy Brain, Loretta Breuning who is on episode 55. Sami explained that Art Therapy will also trigger our happy brain chemicals and will give us a boost in early sobriety when we can be plagued with a low mood. Loretta Breuning explained to us that we need a project in early sobriety to stay happy and focused. That’s why we have designed our 7 step program – to give you a project – the project of self discovery, so sign up for our Art Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Coaching and Root Cause Therapy. Just throw the book at it! Sam and I both run our workshops on Zoom these days and agreed that they work really well and we enjoy opening them up to people all over the world. Sam works with individuals and with groups. Sometimes an individual will need personal attention for their growth, healing or recovery. However the group sessions can be special – she believes that groups come together for a reason – they bring their life experience and of course a key part of the workshop is about sharing our stories. Jung calls this the “collective unconscious” – the people who need to be together come together. I loved that and it made me think of our workshops and the synergy and bonding that I’ve witnessed during the 6

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This weeks podcast guest is the lovely Lori Massicot a midlife sobriety coach. I discovered Lori when I found her podcast – it’s called “to 50 and beyond” – it’s a podcast aimed at women in mid-life where she highlights the beauty of aging and the freedom that comes along with alcohol free life. She’s on a mission to raise awareness towards the life changing impact of sobriety as we age. She interviewed me for her podcast and you can hear that conversation on episode 182 of to 50 and beyond. It’s called “Getting Sober Over 60” and you can access it here In this Episode I’m always fascinated by the way peoples drinking evolves over the years – I’m the first person to admit that drinking can be a lot of fun – until it’s not – until you become dependent - check out our podcast on how we go from "liking to wanting to needing" Let’s remember that 20% of social drinkers WILL become dependent over the years – if we are in that 20% then that doesn’t make us bad people – or weak people – or diseased people. It just makes us people who have become addicted to an addictive drug! People who will have to do a bit of work to change their habits – and that’s where people like myself and Lori come in – we’ve been where you are and we can help you make the change. As you heard Lori did the fun bit in her teens and 20’s – partying as a teenager and then working in real estate, earning good money and drinking wine with friends and colleagues. Then it was the mommyjuice phase – in here 30’s Lori felt depressed, put on weight and found her high pressure job all a bit much. She was using wine at home to cope with her stress and felt trapped in a vicious cycle. She refers to her early 40’s as the “dark years, she lost her mom and could get through two bottles of wine at a time. She had a wake up call when a family member asked her if she was an alcoholic. That’s when she realised that alcohol had become the centre of everything in her life. Of course like many of us she tried “the rules” (drinking only on certain days, drinking red rather than white etc etc) which of course didn’t work. Of course she also tried to “moderate” but of course that didn’t work either - in fact we agreed that for many of us its only when we try to cut down that we realise the extent of our problem. We realise that we have crossed a line with our drinking and it’s going to take more than a bit of willpower to make a change. So if you are busy trying to “moderate” and using rules to control your drinking please save yourself a lot of heartache and take a complete break – no need to use the F (forever word) – just take a break Every drinker needs to take regular breaks to test their dependence. Tribe Sober has just opened their annual Dry January Fundraiser which offers community and online support for 30 days - more info here. “Playing the Movie Forward” is a very popular tool in our community. Lori found herself “playing the movie forward 20 years” and was horrified at what she saw. She knew her drinking would escalate over the years and decided that she was done. She poured her Chardonnay down the sink and got started on her life changing journey to sobriety. Lori used journaling as her key tool –there is so much evidence of the value of keeping a journal – and it helps us so much when we are on this path. We can use it to process our emotions, note our triggers and track our journey. We can read back to the early days and see how much easier its getting and realise how many benefits we are experiencing. And of course the more benefits we do experience the less likely we will be inclined to return to Day 1! Exercise was another key tool for Lori and she educated herself about the best ways to strengthen her body in midlife. So journaling, exercise and playing the movie forward are all great tools which will help us to quit drinking. We all need to create a personal toolkit and we help you with that at our regular Tribe Sober workshops. Read more about our workshops here. Sobriety has given Lori freedom and peace. When she feels anxious she now understands how to self soothe without alcohol. I loved the way she said that in early sobriety we have to protect ourselves and build ourselves up so that we can learn to cope. Then we can go on to learn how to actually thrive our alcohol free lives. That’s exactly what we help our members to do at Tribe Sober with our 7 step program – get more info and sign up here. We agreed that ditching the booze gives us a feeling of power - we are doing something that the majority of the population would not even consider - Sobriety is a Superpower! Times are changing and the sober curious movement is helping that. People are getting “sober curious” and wondering what their life would look like without it. Why not sign up for Tribe Sober's January Challenge and find out! Loris podcast is called "to 50 and beyond" and her website is here: lorimassicot.com. Lori coaches women on

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Kate from the Sober School About 7 years ago when I was casting about for help with my own drinking problem I stumbled upon a blog by Kate who had already been sober for a couple of years. She was the first person I ever heard suggesting that sobriety could be fun – rather than the grey and miserable place many drinkers imagine it to be. I now know that she was absolutely right of course so it was a real pleasure to chat to Kate about her own drinking story and the work she is doing these days. In this Episode When Kate looks back she realises that at University she used to drink alone in her room – even though there were numerous bars and opportunities to drink with other students! If you enjoy drinking alone then that’s a bit of a red flag because it means that you are not using it to “socialise” – you are using it to relax or perhaps to try to calm your anxiety. As you heard Kate cleverly gave up drinking at the tender age of 30 but for many of us the pattern seems to be that we DO use alcohol to socialise in our 20’s and 30’s and then as we get into our 40’s and 50’s it often turns more into self medication and that when we enjoy drinking alone. Kate had been worrying about her drinking for years before she actually did anything which is not at all unusual – A recent study highlighted the fact that it takes an average of 11 years between realising that you have a bit of a “problem” and actually doing something about it. This is a shame because for many of use our dependence and our unhappiness worsen during this period. I think it takes such a long time to tackle our drinking for two reasons:- 1. As Kate said society tells us that we are either a “normal” drinker or we are a raging alcoholic –if we are a raging alcoholic we must to go AA – if not then we are fine. We do see articles about “cutting down” which make it sound simple but of course once we’ve crossed a line with our drinking that becomes impossible. Personally I spent my 11 years of procrastination trying to “cut down” so that I wouldn’t have to quit completely! 2. Second reason we resist reaching out for help is that we don’t know where to find it. Many of us don’t want to go to AA or we try it and it doesn’t work – then we just get stuck. But times are changing and the modern recovery movement means there are many online solutions these days. Solutions which work for the millions of people who are not “raging alcoholics” but they are not “normal drinkers” either. Kate had been sober for 8 years and back then there was very little help around. However she discovered a blog – (the blog was Unpickled by Jean McCarthy) and it resonated with her. For the first time she felt that there was someone out there “just like her” – which is exactly how I felt when I discovered Kate's blog. So it’s all about “finding your people” – that’s the first step in the journey. Her own journey to sobriety began with a blog where she connected with others on the same path and did a 100 day challenge – she felt a “shift” after those 100 days and found herself reflecting on whether she could make sobriety enjoyable – rather than something to be “endured”. We both agreed that doing a Dry January is too short to experience any benefits of sobriety so by gritting our teeth and getting through all we teach ourselves is that sobriety is a miserable place to be! We discussed the value of of writing a Goodbye to Alcohol letter - you can check some out here I loved Kate's Breakthrough story when she was organising her 30th birthday party in early sobriety. Rather than organising a big party she decided to do it completely differently. Accepting the fact that she actually didn’t like socialising in big groups she organised several small gatherings – and loved them. She realised that she’d been using alcohol to squeeze herself into what society expected her to be! This happens to SO many of us and in fact a whole book has been written about the subject! Do get hold of a copy of the book Quiet by Susan Cain which explains that roughly 50% of society are introverts but society favours extravert behaviour which leaves many of us using alcohol as a coping mechanism – fascinating! The subtitle of Susans book is:- The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and she argues that: modern Western culture misunderstands and undervalues the traits and capabilities of introverted people, leading to "a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness". So if you ARE an introvert and use alcohol to help you cope then please read this book – it will help you understand yourself – and your power – so much better! Kate explained that the impact of quitting alcohol is deep – we lose our shame, guilt, worry which is SO freeing. We also free up our mental space and start keeping our promises. We agreed that another advantage of dealing with our drinking problem is that we get to know ourselves so much better than p

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Soberfishie Dawn. Her nickname is Fish. Of course she got the nickname because she drank like a fish! For Dawn her journey began back in 2016 when she decided to try an alcohol free year. She blogged about her journey, decided to stay alcohol free and is now a Sobriety Advocate with a membership and a large social media following. I always enjoy talking to people who do similar work to myself and in fact I had one of my “light bulb” moments during this conversation which I will highlight at the end.. In this Episode Dawns original plan was to do a Sober Year – she had done short stretches in the past but wanted to see what kind of results she got from a longer period. Well the results were overwhelmingly positive which is why she is still alcohol free 5 years later! So if you’ve done lots of Dry January’s and Sober Octobers but then gone back to drinking with great enthusiasm then you’re missing out. You’ve done the hardest bit (those first few weeks are tough!) so now you need to keep going for a bit longer! In 66 days when you will have built a new neural pathway you will not only find it easier but you will also experience more benefits - a win win situation which may well result in your choosing an sobriety as a permanent lifestyle choice. After all there is nothing so exhausting and demorolising as spending your life jumping on and off the wagon! Dawn shared her drinking story – started at 14 years old when she discovered that she didn’t really have an off switch once she got started. She would pre-load her drinks before going out – in theory to save money on drinks when she was out but she would drink as much as ever. We both agreed that there was a time when we would anticipate the week ahead and not arrange any activities for the day after drinking as we knew we would be feeling miserable and hungover Inevitably Dawn set herself some “rules” to try to limit the drinking – she actually came up with one that I hadn’t tried – she set herself a curfew – a set time when she had to leave her event and come home. She actually managed this a few times but then found herself drinking when she got home! Maybe to celebrate that she’d kept to her rule! We both suffered from blackouts and agreed that we’d put ourselves at risk in this way We also found ourselves at a bit of a loss when we first got sober – unlike “normal people” we had not built up hobbies or interests over the years because all our leisure time had been taken up by drinking! As Dawn put it we found ourselves wondering “what do normal people do with their time?!” Dawn got started on her sobriety journey by blogging and walking. She also "Saturated herself in Sobriety" to change her mindset. Like many of us she needed to change her thinking about drinking! Unlike willpower a different mindset will enable us to sustain our sobriety. We agreed that when we got sober 6 years ago sobriety had a definite image problem – it was seen as a dark and miserable place. Things are changing and just a couple of weeks ago I interviewed Susan Christina, editor of the amazing Hola Sober monthly magazine. This magazine is free and its busy making sobriety just as cool and glamorous as we all thought drinking was - you can access a copy HERE Dawn talked about what she calls her “contentment line” – when we drink we are either on a chemical high or on the hungover low – we rarely sit “on the line” which is actually where we live when we are sober. The contentment line is a peaceful and happy place to be – when Dawn feels a bit low and knows she is below her contentment line she knows how to self soothe – without alcohol. In early sobriety we zig zag all over the line, the highs of the pink cloud and the lows of FOMO but hang in there because the contentment line will be yours after you’ve done the work and notched up a period of sobriety. So talking of “doing the work” that’s where I got my light bulb moment thanks to this conversation with Dawn. It hadn’t really occurred to me until Dawn said it but “the work” is different for each of us AA talk about “doing the work” and of course they mean working systematically through every one of the 12 steps but I prefer William Porters approach that we should see it as a buffet and choose what works for us. For Dawn and myself “the work” has involved sharing our stories, writing about sobriety and leading a sober community – neither of us knew in advance that this was “our work” – we just did what felt right and gave us joy. So let’s think about sobriety as a journey of self discovery – some of us missed out on creating hobbies and interests because we were too busy drinking – but now we have time and even a bit of extra money to explore – to discover what we really like doing That’s why the Tribe Sober membership program offers yoga, nutritional advice, coaching and different types of therapy – we want to you to experiment and get to know yourself! I ended

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guests this week are Tom and Tamsin Sheehey, co-owners of The Shala Yoga Studio in Cape Town, South Africa. They are both yoga teachers and Tom is also a health coach with expertise in nutritional guidance. They will both be offering their expertise to the Tribe Sober members. In this Episode Tom’s studies were in what is now called “complimentary medicine” which we both agreed is a better description than “alternative medicine”. If we want to use things like nutrition, yoga, massage, acupuncture etc as part of our healing process then it should be seen as complimentary to traditional medicine – not as an alternative. He talks to us about how regular alcohol use can put the body in a state of chronic inflammation which is a pre-cursor to many illnesses including cancer. In fact a recent study showed evidence that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer https://www.webmd.com/cancer/news/20160722/alcohol-seven-types-cancer From his nutritional viewpoint Tom also pointed out that alcohol is simply liquid sugar which will affect our blood sugar levels which can lead to diabetes which again can lead to multiple health issues. We talked about whether alcoholism is genetic and Tom agreed that if people have alcoholism in the family then they may well be more pre-disposed to developing dependency issues but he firmly believes that our health is dependent partly on our genes, partly on environment and partly on our lifestyle. More on whether alcoholism is genetic in this podcast episode with Mary Anne Shearer - episode 31. When Tom works with his clients we tends to coach people mainly on lifestyle changes as that is what is usually in our control. He talked about the negative impact of alcohol on the gut which is twofold. Not only does it prevent us from absorbing some of the nutrients in our food but it also means we are less efficient at expelling metabolic waste – resulting in increased toxicity. Tom coaches people around the 4 pillars of health which are diet, stress reduction, toxin reduction (alcohol being a toxin of course) and moderate exercise. He advises us to increase the three dietary essentials – oxygen, water and vegetables and reduce refined sugar refined salts and synthetic foods…. If you do this and remove the toxin that is alcohol you are going to feel amazing! Tamsin explained that she took up yoga because she wanted to access her body’s natural vitality. Although she was only in her early twenties she didn’t feel great and wanted to understand her body better. 20 years into her yoga practice Tamsin is a wonderful role model of health, strength and serenity. Becoming a yoga teacher has made her own practice sustainable as she integrates what she is teaching into her own body. She loves her healthy lifestyle and the fact that she now gets to “teach it forward” We talked about how yoga can help in recovery and Tamsin explained that it’s about coming home into your body. With the focus on breathing and mindfulness we become aware of what’s going on in our body. Getting on our yoga mat gives us the opportunity to check in with our bodies and discover how we actually feel. If recovery is about connecting with something greater than ourselves then there is a consciousness that comes with yoga that can facilitate that. Yoga is not a competitive sport and Tamsin urged us not to be intimidated however old or unfit we are – especially now that we can do yoga online in the privacy of our own home! As we get older a yoga practice becomes more and more important – we need to keep our bodies strong and flexible and we need to move our joints to prevent arthritis. We are never too old to begin yoga and Tamsin explained that she has clients that do chair yoga or even bed yoga. She adapts the classes to her clients. I discovered Tamsin after reading a feature in a magazine about “lymphasising” – I was recovering from cancer and read that it was an aid to recovery. So that’s how I discovered trampolines. You heard her saying that bouncing was essential to health and wellness. Tamsin begins her day with a session on the trampoline and sees that as a lifetime practice. If like me you spend all day sitting at your computer then get a mini trampoline and get up and bounce for 5 minutes every hour. There are SO many health benefits and we really do need to keep “doing the dishes” as Tamsin described it! Sobriety is a journey of self discovery. When we give up drinking we have time on our hands and recover our energy– we actually want to try new things and start to look around at other areas of our life. Do we need to clean up our eating habits, do we need to do more exercise and some yoga for example. One of my podcast guests (Will Black on episode 52 calls this the Domino Effect) So if you think your diet could do with a bit of a review and if you are ready to give yoga a try then please take this opportunity. If you are not yet a member of tribe sober then ple

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Jon Turner, the founder of Soberpunks – he is a musician, a blogger and is busy helping others to ditch the drink. He shares his personal recovery story and explains how he feels that not drinking is not only rebellious but it’s positively punk.. In this Episode Like many of us Jon spent a decade trying to cut down – using those tried and tested “rules” that of course are useless once our drinking has crossed that line into dependence – lets face it people who can moderate just do it – they don’t need to impose any rules We agreed that accepting that we can not drink any alcohol at all is a key moment on the path to sobriety – “if you can’t have one – have none” or as AA say “one glass is too many and a thousand is not enough” Jon drank as a teenager and found that he quickly became the one urging the rest of his mates to drink more and more – we discussed the fact that for some of us the buzz of alcohol is more intense than others – and that’s one of the reasons we get hooked when others can take it or leave it It was love that gave Jon the impetus he needed to give up drinking – he met a woman who loved him but hated the person he became when he drank – she made it pretty clear that she would not be sticking around if he continued to drink – so he stopped – and they got married What I really love about Jon’s story is that he gave up drinking to please his partner – but after a few months of sobriety he realized that his life was SO MUCH BETTER without the booze he was motivated to continue. Many of us give up drinking to save our relationships and our health but not many of us are expecting sobriety to be much fun. I for one was expecting it to be a grey and boring place but in fact it’s turned out to be the opposite for both Jon and myself – so if you’re listening to this and you know you need to ditch the booze just try it for 6 months – you will be amazed at the improvements in your life and the chances are you will want to stay alcohol free. Jon eventually got divorced from the lady who convinced him to stop drinking. By then he was hooked on his sobriety and had not intention of restarting his drinking career. As he puts it – “it would only make a horrible situation worse” That got me thinking about one of our recent Zoom Cafes – several of our members had been through a very tough time – three of them had recently lost a parent and they all said – I’m SO grateful to be sober – I have the strength to cope so much better. I found that really interesting as I remember feeling relatively secure in my sobriety after about six months but often wondering if I would turn to alcohol if something dreadful happened – so it’s lovely to hear that Lucy, Merleen and Lexi were not even tempted. Well done ladies. Jon and I agreed that being present for the tough times is key to our emotional development – I remember listening to a podcast with Glennon Doyle when she describes alcohol as the “easy button” that we use to bypass the pain – but we are also missing out on an opportunity to become stronger. Along with being present comes the importance of “getting comfortable with being uncomfortable” – sitting with our thoughts is part of the healing process and can be cathartic. We talked about dealing with partners who drink too much and agreed that people have to want to do it for themselves rather than for anyone else – although Jon had in fact give up for his girlfriend he had been struggling for a long time and was pleased to get a concrete reason to make the change. He did say that sometimes the partner has to decide that in order to protect themselves they will just have to walk away – which can be really hard but may avoid years of pain. I asked Jon to list the benefits of sobriety and he had plenty! Weight loss and having more energy (stop drinking and start running was his advice) Reduction in anxiety – Jon used to have such a feeling of dread on his way into work that he was wishing his train would crash! - since he is sober he is enjoying his work and is busy fulfilling his career potential. That made me think of one of my previous podcast guests – Ken Middleton, episode 23 - he said “even if alcohol doesn’t destroy you it will prevent you from reaching your potential” – that is so true. Jon feels sobriety is a journey of self discovery and he is learning so much about who he is and what he really likes to do. We talked about the joys of a sober community – about how we immediately understand each other and can have fun together – we agreed that ex drinkers have been through a lot and proved themselves to be strong and resilient people – yes ex drinkers rock! Jon is passionate about the fact that those of us in recovery must support others as part of our own recovery – that’s exactly what he is doing via his blogs and his FB group. So if you want to join a community please check out tribesober.com and also take a look at the SoberPunkGang FB

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Susan Christina is an Irish lady living in Spain. She’s on a mission to rebrand sobriety and make alcohol free living as attractive and glamorous as we thought drinking was She’s an advocate for the modern recovery movement and wants women to take back their power! In this Episode Susan is using her considerable communication and marketing skills together with her experience in the global drinks industry to rebrand sobriety. She talked about the way that the wine industry has targeted women and how we have bought into the idea that wine is our “me time” – we’ve come to believe that a glass of wine is an act of “self care” when in fact it’s the exact opposite for many of us! Susan’s personal story was a familiar one – successful career woman holding down a responsible job, bringing up a family – and drinking a bottle of wine a day. I think so many of us can identify with her description of getting home, opening a bottle of wine and gradually working our way through it during the evening – it just felt so normal and because we weren’t getting “drunk” we didn’t really think twice about it. But 7 bottles of wine a week is not sustainable – as she says we have to ask ourselves not whether we are an alcoholic but whether we can sustain a happy and healthy life drinking this amount of alcohol every week. Like many of us Susan was able to change course when she found “her people” – she signed up for the Sober School and met other people like herself – people she could relate to – she felt she had found accountability partners and connection. The relief of finding other people on the same path is considerable. She created a WhatsApp group and talked about having “people in her pocket” who she could reach out to when she is travelling – that’s exactly what we provide with our membership program – an international community who support and encourage each other – because connection is the opposite of connection. Go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” if you would like to join a community who are busy supporting each other on this life changing journey. Knowledge is everything and so many of us drink for decades without the slightest idea of the harm it is doing us. Even when I got breast cancer I was still in denial – I simply refused to join the dots and carried on drinking. Susan found that once she had understood the complexity, the toxicity and the way we use alcohol to numb the pain she began to see everything differently and was able to make the changes she needed to. I asked Susan what the biggest benefit of sobriety has been for her and she said “being present” - present for the ups and downs of life – after all our personal growth comes for being present and dealing with difficulties, rather than zoning out. She talked about the “drinking train” that many women board and pointed out that it was only travelling one way – the way of increasing dependence, rehab and for some people it’s unfortunately travelling to disease and death. Susan set up a support group for her class when she graduated from Sober School and sent them daily mails and PDF’s to keep them inspired. She started to collate this content which gave birth to the fabulous monthly magazine she now edits which is called Hola Sober. This magazine is quite simply rebranding sobriety – from a place of struggle to an aspirational lifestyle choice. It is a beautiful publication and relects how to live fully and joyfully in sobriety. It’s absolutely free so sign up and then share it with everybody you know. Susan also has a website called holasober.com as well as an IG account – just this week she’s published a brilliant PDF called “The Giant Feck” which is a must read. Susan and I agreed that AA is not the only gig in town as she puts it – there are so many alternatives. We are both providing alternatives to AA and the people we work with would never dream of going to AA. Woman are bonding together via recovery groups – women are taking back their power! All of us on this journey need to be advocates of the Modern Recovery Movement – we are part of something powerful – we’ve got smart and are seeing through the BS pumped out by the liquor industry. Sobriety is a Superpower so lets get the word out there – lets get this sober party started! Step one in making a change is to find a community – find your people – if you are looking for a community then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Casey McGuire Davidson who is from Seattle in the US. Like me Casey was caught in the corporate workhard/playhard culture as well as the mommyjuice trend…using alcohol to cope with stress and anxiety and becoming more dependent over the years… But somehow we both found our way out of that trap and now we are finding joy in helping people to do the same In this Episode Casey realised in her 20’s that she had no “off” switch – I think that’s true of many of us yet we delude ourselves that we don’t have a problem because we can go for days without drinking – but if you do finding yourself drinking far too much after that first glass then you probably need to make some changes Casey’s first glimpse into the trouble that alcohol can cause came when she read “A love story” by Caroline Knapp – if you are worried about your drinking then reading some QuitLit is a great way to start – if you want a reading list then just email me [email protected] Casey went to doctors and therapists about her anxiety and insomnia – most of which was caused by alcohol but she was in denial about her drinking and just didn’t CONNECT THE DOTS Like many of us Casey started making rules – in fact Casey and I had a whole conversation about the rules we used to make that you can find on her podcast (Hello Someday – episode 77 ) The reason we make these rules of course is that we are still trying to moderate as we can’t imagine our life without it – having to give up completely is our worst nightmare – whereas with hindsight both Casey and myself can say that giving up completely was the best thing we ever did! Casey managed a year of sobriety (partly due to her pregnancy) but then was soon back to her bottle a night habit. The second time she gave up she understood so much more – she had joined up the dots and realized that alcohol was the cause of her anxiety and insomnia. She hired a Sober Coach and checked in with her every single day – because she was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Many of us get to this stage eventually – at our workshops I often hear people say “I’m done – I just can’t do this anymore” – and those people usually succeed and go on to thrive in their sobriety We talked about the strong women we work with – and how many of us managed to hold it all together through the drinking years. Once we are liberated from the shackles of alcohol addiction there is no stopping us and we go on to achieve great things. Sobriety is a Superpower I always say! We talked about mindshift – Casey has gone from seeing alcohol as a “reward” to seeing it as a “maladaptive coping strategy” – alcohol is NOT self care – how on earth did the liquor industry convince us that a “glass of wine at the end of the day” was an act of self care when for many of us it’s the opposite! I loved Caseys description of her breakthrough moment – how on Day 16 she’s had a terrible day at work and wanted to buy a bottle of wine so much she was actually shaking – she managed to resist and then continued to get stronger. I loved her “magnet” analogy as well – how the pull of alcohol is SO strong in the early days of sobriety but the more AF days we stack up the weaker the pull “Sober Firsts” are so important – Casey cleverly reconfigured her Italian holiday so she went to bed early, got up early to explore, went on gelato crawls instead of wine crawls and treated herself with Venetian jewellery with the money she'd saved from not drinking. Casey has some great analogies – we heard the magnet one and she also talked about how being dependent on alcohol was like carrying a backpack of rocks around – and how sobriety lets you put the burden down. Apart from reducing her anxiety and improving her sleep Casey loves the clarity of mind that sobriety gives us – we can look at our lives with fresh eyes and sometimes we can spot the things which were actually driving us to drink You heard Casey saying that she realized that corporate life had lost its appeal and that she wanted to retrain as a coach which has given her real purpose in her life I asked her for a final tip and love this one:- “don’t wait until you WANT to stop drinking – it’s never going to happen! - just say you are sober curious and want to take a break to see what sobriety feels like. Keep going for a few months and you’’ begin to glimpse the joy that alcohol free living can bring. Do have a listen to Caseys podcast which is called Hello Someday, her website is called hellosomedaycoaching.com, she does 1.2.1 coaching as well as offering a course and some freebies. Another great analogy we heard from Casey is that in early sobriety we really have to “throw the book at it” – make it a priority for 6 months, treat it as a research project and “do the work” – the payback will be huge! So check out Caseys website, think about joining Tribesober.com, read the quitlit, listen to the podcasts.. Step one in making a change was to find a

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is from Canada! Currently we have the grand total of 4 Canadian members in our tribe and we would love to welcome some more! Sarah Kate agrees with me that we need to “get smart” and see through the constant pressure from Big Alcohol to consume their product – the wine industry has particularly targeted women, trying to convince us that “mommy needs wine” etc etc Well here is one mommy that’s fighting back! In this Episode Sarah Kate had some scares with alcohol – going over the top a few times but generally progressed in her drinking career like many of us As a career girl in her 20’s she began to realise that she had no “off” switch – this happens to many of us and I think it’s a real warning sign – when we can go for days without even thinking about alcohol but once we’ve had a couple of drinks we just want to keep going! We agreed that we seek out friends who drink like us so that we can validate our own drinking Many of us in the tribe had friends and relatives who would helpfully suggest that we just “had a couple” of drinks (rather than a whole bottle!) – and that’s the beauty of the tribe – we understand each other and would never suggest that! Sarah Kate passed out on the bathroom floor at her 30th birthday party and began to feel ashamed of her drinking problem We talked about the shame women feel about their drinking and agreed that so many of us get trapped because of it – we don’t want to “come out” about our problem so we battle alone and get nowhere, just more dependent and more depressed– have a listen to Claire Pooleys fabulous TED talk called “Making Sober Less Shameful” As Sarah Kate went on to become a mom she got more and more dependent and after the birth of her second child she became seriously worried that her baby would be affected by the alcohol levels in her breast milk. She was part of the mommyjuice culture and believed the hype that “moms need wine” taking a sippy cup of wine to the farmers market We talked about how crazy kids parties have become and how even at 1 year old parties the wine is flowing Sarah Kate tried to moderate many times – she is a runner and would schedule her drinking around her running – she feels she was running to counteract her addiction – almost as a punishment She finally managed to make a change when she read The Naked Mind – realizing that drinking heavily for a number of years will make anyone become dependent - alcohol is an addictive drug and that’s what it will do! That’s when Sarah Kate realized that there was nothing wrong with her and was able to ditch the shame and make a change She did Annie Grace’s Alcohol Experiment and while she was not 100% alcohol free she probably reached a very respectable passgrade of 90% We talked about the value of seeing the big picture – that’s why Tribe Sober offers annual trackers so that people can observe their sober stretches getting longer and longer and keep some perspective – much less danger of giving up if you have a slip up – if youd like an annual tracker then just email me at [email protected] On Christmas day Sarah Kate found herself buying a bottle of red wine (even though husband doesn’t drink wine and her kids certainly don’t!) – it made her reflect on the power of conditioning – if it’s a holiday we must drink! (what an amazingly effective job Big Alcohol has done!) In fact her daughter was furious with her for having a glass of wine at Christmas lunch so that was it for Sarah Kate – she wanted to be a role model for her kids – someone who could stick to a commitment – so that was it for her We talked about the importance of education and how every university should offer a module called “The Science Behind Drinking Alcohol” rather than irresponsibly forcing dangerous quantities of alcohol on new students who are away from home for the first time Sarah Kate also emphasized that we should remember that it often takes a long time to pull ourself out of the clutches of alcohol and that we have to be patient – especially if we’ve been drinking for decades! Sarah Kate is playing a role in educating us about alcohol via her online magazine “somegoodcleanfun.com” She’s coming at it from the wellness angle and has created it’s a platform which will encourage us to “rethink drinking” – as individuals and as a society. Not so much a sobriety magazine but more a platform aimed at women who care about their health (eat organic, gluten free, exercise etc – yet still drink a bottle of wine a day) – she wants them to appreciate the impact that alcohol has on womens health. We agreed that the explosion of the alcohol free drinks markets was a very positive sign of a societal shift We agreed that step one in making a change was to find a community – find your people – if you are looking for a community then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website cl

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Sara-Jayne Makwala King Sara-Jayne is a household name here in South Africa - she's a journalist, a radio presenter and an author. In this Episode Sara-Jayne’s birth was the result of an illegal affair between a white British woman and black South African man during apartheid – she shares her extraordinary story in her memoir Killing Karoline. As a child she used to read voraciously as a form of escape and as a teenager she went on to develop eating disorders and cutting to numb her pain Her alcohol use began to get out of control when she moved to Dubai – she never really acknowledged it was a problem as her brother was a severe “alcoholic” and she was not like him – she was a functioning alcoholic We talked about alcoholism being on a spectrum… one end…the other. most of us are in between Sara-Jayne got fired from her job as a journalist in Dubai for being so difficult – she felt so angry unhappy that one day she was even tempted to crash her car when driving along a busy road. Her mother and partner got her into rehab – she was only supposed to stay for 28 days but she actually stayed for 10 months – she was learning, digging deep and becoming aware that she needed to “do the work” if she was to recover Sara-Jayne believes that recovery can’t be forced on you – you have to be ready. And she was ready It was connecting with the other people in rehab that healed her – she appreciates the deep value of sharing Sara-Jayne realized that she’d been carrying her birth mothers secret and shame for a long time – a secret that was not even hers to carry – that had been the root of her addictions and her unhappiness so these days she strives for truth and authenticity She realizes that we can’t hang on to secrets and shame – the that only the truth will set us free We see this at our workshops – when we ask people to share their stories you can see the relief in their faces as they tell their stories about how unhappy alcohol has been making them – stories they may never have said out load before We agreed that “connection is the opposite of addiction” – scientifically proved by the “rat park” experiment which is featured in Johan Haris TED talk – Everything you thought you knew about addiction is wrong - catch it here Sara-Jayne feels that Recovery is about finding a space where you can feel safe and share your feelings – it could be Tribe Sober or it could be AA – there are so many alternatives out there We talked about the recent study by the Tempest which showed that the average time between realizing that you had a problem and getting help was 11 years – Sara-Jayne agreed that sounded about right but that we should acknowledge that seeds can be still be sewn and growth will take place during those years If you are listening to this and would like a bit of support to make a change just go to tribesober.com and check us out – you can grab a freebie, do a challenge, join our community or do a workshop Sarah-Jayne is on Cape Talk 567AM on Saturdays and Sundays 7-10am You can buy Sara-Jayne's fascinating book Killing Karoline here More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x PS How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good t

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Andrea Newton. Andrea is a Corporate Consultant, Keynote Speaker, Mental Health Advocate and a Podcast Host. Alcohol took Andrea to a dark place but thankfully she recovered and is now doing some very worthwhile work. In this Episode I found Andrea’s account of how alcohol made her feel suicidal as rather chilling – the fact that she actually had a plan to end her life – and her point that alcohol can provide that “Dutch Courage” to actually go through with it These days Andrea works for the National Centre for Suicide Prevention Centre in the UK – she delivers a workshop that helps people to have crucial and difficult conversations – which can save lives. She explained that the risk of suicide is 8 times higher if alcohol is involved and that 20% of suicides in young people in the UK are alcohol fuelled. We discussed the “work hard play hard” culture that pervades in so many companies –and the fact that you are sometimes perceived as “boring” if you don’t go for the weekly drinks with your colleagues It can even have career implications as well – when was in my 20’s I worked for the BBC and I remember being given a nudge by my boss to go to the BBC Club more often as it was valuable for “networking” – so I did and it was there I discovered that drinking was an essential part of the networking! I mentioned the book (and TED talk) Quiet by Susan Cain about introverts/Extraverts introverts often use alcohol as a coping mechanism to help them manage pressure of networking, entertaining clients – and of course socializing – if you are an introvert then please read this book – it will be very good for your self esteem – after all we live in a society that often seems to favour extraverts We talked about the difficulty of socializing in early sobriety and how it’s actually the drunk people rather than the sober ones who are the “boring” ones – I shared the tip from our Tribe Sober toolkit that it helps to “be an anthropologist” We talked about the pandemic and the fact that working from home may have encouraged more people to rely on alcohol – and the fact that managers may have to deal with this issue when employees return to work Which led us to discuss her consulting work which is based around 7 conversations – “difficult conversations” that many managers may struggle with. Andrea helps them to structure these conversations and offers them some very valuable training. It struck me that these “difficult conversations” are of course something that many of us have to deal within our personal lives as well– the kind of conversation we may need to have with a family member who is drinking too much. I’m planning on asking Andrea to write a guest blog for our website on this subject. Do have a listen to Andrea’s podcast as there is so much helpful advice in there – advice about how to have difficult conversations in our work and our personal lives To contact Andrea go to her website www.confidentconversations.co.uk and her podcast is Really Useful Conversations If you are listening to this podcast and are really feeling low or you know someone who is suicidal then please contact Andrea – or you can email me on janet@tribesober and we’ll connect you to someone who can help More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x PS How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is an inspiring young man - Liam is a Brit who is now living in Germany. He began drinking at 13 and finds himself in early recovery in his 30's. In this Episode Liam’s first experience of alcohol was at 13 when he downed half a litre of vodka and promptly passed out That experience would put many people off but in fact he was keen to do it again and carried on drinking heavily – keen to fit in with his skateboarding crowd. At 16 he left home to gain more freedom and that’s when drugs entered the mix. By the age of 24 he knew he had a problem on his hands and he did try to sober up now and again – problem was every time he did this his relapses would be serious – anything from a week to a month when he would be drinking from the moment he woke up – to the time he went to bed. Alcohol took Liam to a very dark place – he felt he had created a horrible life for himself and he just wanted to escape it. He had suicidal thoughts which were being fuelled by alcohol. In 2018 he started journaling - he would read back over the pages and see the pain in the words – he knew he had to do something or he would not survive. He chose an unusual method to get sober (one that is certainly not in our toolkit!) – he decided to move to a different country! Liam moved to Germany, where he re-invented himself as Sober Liam – he created an entirely new friend circle – anyone who didn’t accept his sobriety just didn’t fit in with his new life This approach reminds me of the “Pregnancy Principle” which Laura McKowan talks about in her book “We are the Luckiest”. She says treat your sobriety as a pregnancy – it has to be protected above anything else. Anybody or anything that doesn’t fit in with your sobriety has to go! In spite of his resolve it was obviously not an easy path and a few months into sobriety Liam wanted to drink – "to have a bit of fun" as he puts it. He powered through this difficult patch and started writing – the writing really helped him. He was writing about sobriety and it gave him some accountability. He was researching his articles and educating himself about the harm that alcohol does to us which also helped him to resist it. Liam is such a talented writer and I discovered him via his articles on Medium – his Soberversary is next month so I’m hoping he will write a "Goodbye to Alcohol" letter for our collection. If you haven’t discovered our "Goodbye to Alcohol" letters yet then please go to tribesober.com and hit Inspiration We talked about Liam's future – he has many happy and healthy years ahead of him which certainly wouldn’t have been the case had he still been drinking! He even gave us a few tips… Find a community of people on the same path – people who will understand you. If you broadcast your sobriety to all your family and friends too early then you may find they are not all supportive. Have your story ready - sound confident when you say you’re not drinking – people will be less likely to persist. Accept the fact that you will never be able to drink and make it a priority for a while (back to the pregnancy principle) Don’t wait until you hit rock bottom! Spend time alone - search for activities which will bring you joy Here at Tribe Sober we start our annual 66 day challenge on 27 September - Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be a Sober Autumn as well! Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is one of those people who are passionate about helping those in recovery. Dr Dawn Bantel, a naturopathic doctor with many years of experience in the recovery space. In this Episode Dawn agrees that to be really healthy we shouldn’t drink at all but just recently she was surprised to learn that even a few glasses of wine a week will raise a woman’s risk of breast cancer We talked about alcohol and anxiety and how it was a real issue – it may calm the brain at first but then it will just increase anxiety When Dawn did a short video on TikTok about alcohol and anxiety it got half a million views! Dawn pointed out that people who develop addictions tend to be “all or nothing” kind of people – so true! She takes advantage of this tendency with her clients as she finds that they put their all into getting healthy – just as they did with their substance abuse(!) so once they are on the right track there is no stopping them! She believes that recovery gives people a second chance at life – and I certainly can relate to that! I asked her for some guidelines about healing after years of alcohol abuse SLEEP/DIET AND EXERCISE are of course the pillars of recovery and Dr Dawn feels particularly strongly about the value of sleep Poor sleep will put us at risk of relapse so she urges people in recovery to find something that will help them to sleep – obviously she favours natural remedies (green tea, amino acids) but if that’s not working for you then use meds for a short time at the beginning We discussed the value of community in recovery and how there is great relief in meeting others on the same path – we are not alone, or broken.. and those of us further along can reassure people of the various stages because we’ve been there – and got through to the other side Dawn has found that many people with alcohol dependency are high flyers – very successful people who feel that they that they’ve achieved so much that they should be able to fix their addiction - but of course it’s extremely hard to go it alone and we all need to remember that “connection is the opposite of addiction” We talked about PAWS – Post acute withdrawal symptoms – anxiety, depression, lack of joy, low energy seem to be the main ones – it takes time for the body to adapt to sobriety – time to heal Dawn mentioned that a guideline was a month in recovery for every year of drinking The value of such a guideline is that it helps people to understand they need to be patient (we get people on our groups who say “I’ve been alcohol free for 3 weeks and I don’t feel great”..) So if you are on this journey you will need to be patient but on the bright side there will be some “quick wins” – no more hangovers, better skin, no more 3am wake ups filled with anxiety.. so just hang in there We talked about the importance of gut health and the fact that alcohol damages the micro biome and causes leaky cut. In Dr Dawns practice she takes people on an integrative recovery journey – starting with extensive testing and then setting goals for healing the brain and the body She also has a course to educate people in recovery which can be purchased from her website which is integrativerecoverymedicine.com Dr Dawn also has a great IG feed –handle is Dr Dawn Bantel – she has some really great practical tips and videos on there so make sure you follow her Here at Tribe Sober we start our annual 66 day challenge on 27 September - Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be a Sober Autumn as well! Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Australian therapist Deb Clarke. 17 years sober Deb talks to me about her drinking years, how she stopped and how her life has changed. In this Episode Deb was very much a binge drinker – she could go for several days without drinking but once she picked up a drink she had no “off” switch Because she COULD go for a few days without drinking she felt she couldn’t really have a problem and in fact her friends reassured her that she just needed to “drink less” – which was not at all helpful! At some point she managed 2 years sober but it wasn’t a good period as she hadn’t changed her thinking about drinking and felt sorry for herself – and in fact she was relying on willpower to stay away from it Recent research has shown that willpower is actually a finite resource and will run out..almost like a muscle gets tired after an hour in the gym Just imagine you’ve had a really tough day at work and needed all your willpower not to lose your temper with colleagues – and then you get home and remember it’s a “non drinking” day – much harder to stick to than if you’ve had an easy day.. Once we’ve had a problem with alcohol the only way we can stay alcohol free and BE HAPPY about it is by changing our mindset – otherwise we’ll always feel that something is missing and have bouts of FOMO – we have to identify our limiting beliefs around alcohol – and then overturn them When Deb got sober there was nothing available except AA – and she resisted that because (although she needed help) she thought AA was for “real” alcoholics and like many people had an image of an alcohol as a homeless man in the park. Debs turning point came when she had a call from a hospital to go to turn off the life support machine of her son who had taken a drug overdose – she found herself bargaining – let her son live and she would never drink again Her son lived – so it was time for her to keep her side of the bargain – she did this by going to “meetings” – she had still not really recognized herself as an alcoholic so convinced herself that she was there to listen and learn as she may be able to help her son to deal with HIS drug problem One thing she did enjoy at AA was listening to all the stories – there is such power in telling our stories to a group of people who are struggling with alcohol – not only is it cathartic for us but it reassures others that there is not something “wrong” with them – they just got addicted to an addictive drug! We see this at our workshops which we always begin with a “share” – people are so emotional when they talk about just how unhappy alcohol has been making them – and you get a sense with some people that it’s the first time they’ve said the words out loud.. there is a such a deep bond created when we speak our truth – it’s all about the power of vulnerability Deb talked of her reluctance to step on the sober journey as there always seemed to be a party or Christmas or a birthday round the corner. The thing is that there is never a “right time” to quit the booze – we just have to get started, get some sober time and get those “first” sober parties done – they probably won’t be much fun but they will get easier Apparently Deb went to her doctor for tests as she worried about the effect that alcohol may be having on her body – her did some test and told her she was fine – many of the standard liver function tests will still look normal even if you drink far too much but don’t be misled as the damage could well be happening. If you are interested in a more realistic test to assess the effect alcohol is having on your body then you may be interested in the CDT testing – have a listen to episode 22 with Scientist Jean Deenmamode Testing is not the real issue however – the real issue is whether your drinking is on your mind – if it is, if you worry about it then reach out and get some help I asked Deb what the main benefit of sobriety was for her and she simply said “freedom’ – I so understand what she means – the relief and the peace that comes with sobriety is priceless – and our life opens out again, we enjoy everyday pleasures Of course Deb herself has been in the very difficult position of having a son with a drug problem which led us to talk about the difficulty of dealing with a loved one with an issue – Deb felt it was about unconditional love – and being there but obviously the person has to decide for themselves. Deb is now a therapist and specializes in Root Cause therapy which looks at limiting beliefs – stories we tell ourselves – such as “Im not good enough” – the beliefs that sit in our subconscious Deb is working with Tribe Sober these days – offering her Root Cause therapy to our members and will be running workshops for our Australian members – so if you are in Australia and would like to attend a workshop just email [email protected] and we’ll keep you posted We start our annual 66 day challenge on 27 September - Sober Spring

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Researcher and Activist Professor Charles Parry, who works tirelessly to bring about social change in South Africa. He is the Head of the Alcohol and Drug Unit at the SAHMRC, an organisation which reports directly in to the Department of Health and has the overall goal to improve the health of the nation In this Episode Although many people in South Africa don’t drink the ones who do are drinking excessively A whole industry exists which makes a profit from these heavy drinkers – profits which are demanded by their shareholders Charles talked about the tricky role which alcohol has played in the history of this country – as a tool of oppression – during apartheid miners who lived far from home and had nothing else to do at night apart from drink in beer halls which of course provided more profits for liquor suppliers And of course the dop system where farm workers received part of their wages in alcohol –creating a generation of dependent drinkers – and also playing into the fact that SA has incredibly high levels of Foetal Alcohol syndrome The dop system is now of course prohibited but alcohol remains a major source of harm – 170 people a day die of alcohol related causes and the burden on the health care system is tremendous Of course poverty and the unemployment rates play a big role in the binge drinking culture – lack of alternative recreational activities and the feeling of lack of a future, as well as peer pressure all have an influence Young people are also convinced by the marketing industry that successful people drink – usually expensive brands of whisky or brandy! Charles has been very involved in the fall out from the pandemic over the last 18 months – he talked to us about the 4 alcohol bans and the fact that every time alcohol was banned the admission to hospital trauma units fell by a staggering 60% - releasing space for Covid patients It’s been like a massive social experiment - like turning a tap on and off! Medical staff talked of the changing nature of their work - trauma units no longer smelt of blood and alcohol during alcohol bans We discussed how alcohol weakens the immune system making us more susceptible to disease, including Covid Covid patients who were heavy drinkers had poorer chances of surviving than non drinkers The liquor industry of course pushed back against the alcohol bans and lamented their reduced profits but this was a false rhetoric because in fact their profit increased due to people stocking up before the bans! Obviously banning alcohol for ever is not a possibility but the bans have proved to Charles that government IS PREPARED to take drastic action when required It proves that something CAN be done and government needs to implement a plan of measures that will address this problem Charles shared some of his ideas – some of which he has already presented to government –Covid has actually strengthened his case with the stark reminder of the harm that alcohol is doing to south African society Charles posts daily on his TW account – some really great links and comments on there so please follow him if you can – we need to support the great work he is doing! His TW handle is @profparry We start our annual 66 day challenge on 27 September - Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be a Sober Autumn as well! Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is tribe member Clive Vanderwagen. Clive is a business and leadership coach who is also a wine expert! In this Episode Clive’s father offered him a taste of wine at quite an early age in an effort to make it “less exciting” but looking back Clive feels this was a bit naïve and if he was ever a parent he would probably share with his kids that he had struggled with alcohol himself and that it should be treated with caution. Educating our kids about alcohol is SO tricky but one thing is for sure – it’s easier to do it if we don’t drink – it’s no good saying one thing and then modelling another as we open our nightly bottle of wine! Like many of us Clive felt invincible when he was younger and the fact that he became dependent on alcohol took him by surpise. Alcohol dependency tends to sneak up on us over the years and its only when we try to cut down or give up that we realise we have a problem! That’s why regular breaks are so important – if you want to try 66 alcohol free days with online, community and audio support then just sign up for our Sober Spring Challenge I could really identify with Clive when he said he went to AA to see everyone chain smoking and talking about their rock bottoms and just didn’t feel he fitted in! He just didn’t feel like an alcoholic because he wasn’t drinking in the morning, crashing cars, losing jobs etc The thing is we don’t have to wait until we hit “rock bottom” before we make a change:- If we worry about our drinking or if we drink more than the low risk limits then we should make some changes – at the very least take a break just to test your dependency, Like most of us Clive tried “moderation” and we agreed that our “drinking neural pathway” will always be there so once you’ve crossed a line with your drinking moderation is no longer an option. Clive talked about being triggered by a sunny day and the thought of drinking rose – he has a sensible approach to his triggers – he just recognizes them, gets a bit curious about them and then lets them pass without acting on them One way of dealing with those triggers is to create another ritual to replace it – for example if Clive started enjoying a glass on AF bubbly everytime he sat drinking in the sunshine then his subconscious would gradually create a new and less harmful trigger. Clive’s Madonna Story was a classic example of how we expect alcohol to enhance our experiences – in Clive’s case he ended up almost blacking out and missing most of a concert he’d been looking forward to for months! Clive has made the joyful discovery that “Clive doesn’t need alcohol to be Clive” – he can still be the life and soul of the party when stone cold sober! 11 months into his sobriety Clive feels he's regained control of his life and reduced his anxiety -he feels strong and is proud to be alcohol Clive ended our interview by reading his stunning Goodbye to Alcohol letter which he found a powerful and cathartic experience – his letter is very moving and if you would like to read it along with some others just hit this link. We start our annual 66 day challenge in September - called Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be Sober Autumn as well Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Staci Danfield. Staci is a neuroscientist who loves working with the sober community. In this episode she shares some really practical and useful information about our brain. In this Episode Staci’s husband walked out on her just before her 50th birthday – she was devastated at the time but now the years have passed she is able to look back and see that event as a catalyst for change… a real Wake Up Call Realising that she must take responsibility for her own happiness she went to grad school to study neuroscience Staci has no issues with alcohol but her father was an alcoholic – the whole family had tried to convince him to stop for years but only when he decided to stop himself did it work.. We talked about rehab and Staci explained that the success rate is a shockingly low 13.8% She explained that our brain tricks us into thinking that alcohol is making us happy but in fact it is a depressant – if you’ve been drinking for years then the alcohol will have altered the balance of your brain which is why you become increasingly dependent. When we understand how our brains work we can work with it – and that’s when the magic will happen – a great analogy is to think of how we use our computers – we work with programs that are installed in our computers – not against them! Understanding our brains means that we can understand ourselves better and see what we are gaining by ditching the drink – we need to create a “pattern interruptor” We mustn’t try to alter multiple habits at the same time – far better to focus on just the one Here at Tribe Sober we say “Just chase one rabbit at a time – if you chase several the chances are that they will all escape!” Staci advises that we focus on our successes “today I resisted a drink” and don’t look too far into the future (or avoid the F word as we say at Tribe Sober!) If you listened to Tribe Sober podcast episode 55 which was called “The Happy Brain” with Loretta Breuning, you may remember that she recommended setting an overall goal and dividing it up into smaller goals – this will keep our happy chemicals flowing as just aiming for a mini goal will trigger dopamine and of course we’ll feel good when we reach it. Staci is in agreement with Loretta and used the marathon analogy – if we sign up for a marathon we don’t immediately go out and try to run 26 miles – we design a training program and divide it into daily sessions – running a bit further every day.. You can find a great example of this on Episode 15 of the Tribe Sober podcast with one of our Sober Springers Kai – he did SS, achieved 66 AF days, then aimed for 100days, then 6 months, then a year – and now 3 years later he still hasn’t had a drink – but still doesn’t say its forever! Staci explained how our primitive lizard brain will go on autopilot unless we intervene – she calls her Lizard Brain Earl and calls him out if he tries to hijack her behaviour! She confirmed that our 66 day Sober Spring Challenge is long enough to create a new neural pathway to change our drinking patterns She also said that the “secret sauce” of Sober Spring was the community support We discussed the fact that our “drinking neural pathway will always be with us (if we’ve been drinking for years) – and that its easy to reactivate if we start trying to “moderate” after a period of sobriety. Staci loves our Goodbye to Alcohol letters and suggests reading them regularly to remind ourselves how bad the drinking got! She came up with a list of quick tips to boost our happy chemicals We start our annual 66 day challenge in September - called Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be Sober Autumn as well Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Satur

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Mandy Manners. Mandy has her own recovery story to tell. Alcohol free for more than 4 years she is now a recovery coach and author. In this Episode Mandy and I are both Brits married to Frenchmen, so were able to discuss and contrast the very different attitudes to drinking in Uk & France. Mandy's French husband was able to cut down easily when they became parents but for her it was not quite so easy.. She believes that in France you are either seen as an "alcoholic" or someone who can have just one glass. When she first moved to France she had two young children and felt isolated which meant that her drinking got worse. Mandy had a touch of sober curiosity when she met her sister in law who didn't drink yet she seemed to be happy! After stopping and starting for years she reached out to Soberistas for help and found the community a great help We both agreed that "finding your people" was an essential first stop - find a community that suits you She had been a binge drinker during her teenage years and also took recreational drugs. Mandy highlighted the fact that hard drugs are demonised whereas alcohol is encouraged. Like many of us Mandy tried to moderate for years - setting (and breaking) many of her own rules about when she should drink. Due to a trauma in her teenage years Mandy had underlying issues which meant she needed to work with a therapist Mandy said that many people feel that once they've sorted the rest of their life out then they will address their drinking - however it should be the other way round - stop drinking and you will be able to sort your other issues Mandy is now 4 years sober and thriving in her alcohol free life - she has a better relationship with her husband and kids - she sleeps so much better She is now a recovery coach and has written a book called "Love Yourself Sober" - she has a podcast called "Love Sober" and her website is mandymanners.com Joining Tribe Sober is a great way to start your Sober Curious journey - find out more on tribesober.com We start our annual 66 day challenge in September - called Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be Sober Autumn as well Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Dr Loretta Breuning. Loretta is the author of an excellent book called the "Habits of a Happy Brain" and she shared many fascinating insights with me. In this Episode The world of neuroplasticity is an exciting one - no longer do we have to believe that our brain shrinks and loses its capacity as we age - if we keep exercising and keep learning we can keep our brains healthy and active for longer Although most of our neural patterns are set in early life we can build new neural pathways as we get older - if just takes a bit more effort and a lot of repetition. Thats why our 66 day challenge can help you to build a new neural pathway and change your drinking habits for good. Loretta explained that we need to develop many different coping mechanisms to deal with life's ups and downs - we become dependent on alcohol when we have been using it as our only coping mechanism. That's why it makes sense to build a "distraction list" of all the things that we could to do - instead of drinking. We need to discover what gives us a "natural high" rather than the chemical high which alcohol has been giving us She explained that the Sober members of our community provided powerful inspiration because of the effect of "mirror neurons" My discussion with Loretta led me to a personal lightbulb moment which will change the advice we give to our community A few months into sobriety I suffered from a long period of anhedonia - my mood plummeted and I felt miserable However I kept going and after a couple of months my mood finally lifted - I thought this was because my brain had been relying on alcohol to make me feel good for so long that my natural "happy chemicals" were taking time to return Loretta helped me to understand that the reason my low mood had finally lifted was because I had set a new goal Getting sober had been my goal for the first few months of sobriety but then I needed another one Setting and achieving goals trigger the happy chemicals and keep them flowing So if you are suffering from the blues in early sobriety set a goal and start working towards it If you can't think of a goal then book a coaching session to explore possibilities New tribe sober members are entitled to a complimentary coaching session as well as many other benefits Joining Tribe Sober is a great way to start your Sober Curious journey - find out more on tribesober.com We'll put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so you can test your dependency Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is someone I've known for more than a decade. When I first met her and discovered she was "sober" I was intrigued. How could you be "sober" but still be happy and having a lot of fun - was it really possible? When I finally ditched the drink Robyn became my role model - she is still my inspiration and has gone on to inspire many of our Tribe Sober members. In this Episode Robyn has been in a relationship with alcohol since before she was born – the Durban moms used to sometimes drink alcohol when they were pregnant as the dangers of foetal alcohol syndrome had not been highlighted back then. Her mother and her grandfather had a problematic relationship with alcohol and Robyn found it heartbreaking to see her mother who was a highly accomplished person grow more and more dependent on alcohol. Between the ages of 17 and 27 Robyn developed her serious wine habit. Like many of us she began setting rules such as 2 glasses only but then she just bought bigger glasses ;-) She could sometimes keep to her rules but sometimes she didn’t. It was a constant push and pull and she spoke of it being such a relief that alcohol is no longer even on her radar. Her turning point came when a friend of her moms came to visit her in London and noticed that Robyn was drinking a bottle of wine in less than an hour (which she did every night) - she advised Robyn to try a trick that she had done to give up smoking. Write a lipstick mark for every alcohol free day – these visual reminders are so powerful and we use annual trackers here at Tribe Sober. If you would like one just email a request to [email protected] Robyn had a rock bottom at the age of 33 when she had to be carried off a plane at Dubai airport. This was during one of those periods when she had decided that she could "moderate" yet one glass of champagne had led her to drink so much that she passed out. On her return to SA she checked herself into rehab. She now believes that the world is divided into two types of people. - those who can drink a couple of glasses of wine to soften the edges - and people like us, who need to ditch the drink and create a basket of tools other than alcohol to take the edge off When we ditch the drink we have to replace it with something else – we need to create a personal basket of tools Robyn shared some of her tools with us:- - a hot bath at wine time - 6pm yoga and meditation – body and breathwork nature – she’ll walk barefoot in the forest feel the sun on your face listening/watching/reading – get out of your own story by listening to someone else’s listen to podcasts, read a book, watch a movie community – reach out to a friend/Tribe Sober sweets – not ideal but better than wine! After 14 years of sobriety the last thing the Robyn would reach for in her basket of tools would be a bottle of wine We talked about the “mommy juice” syndrome – although Robyn was already sober when she became a mom she understands why many moms reach for the wine at the end of the day We talked about how difficult socializing was in the early days and how we need to take it gradually – as Robyn said the last thing we should do is subject ourselves to a 3 hour party in early sobriety – just don’t go! We agreed that socialising will eventually become easier and be able to hold a non alcoholic drink definitely helps. Robyn finds “breathing exercises” an essential tool to change her nervous system and took us through two breathing exercises. Robyn mentioned The Shala which is a wonderful yoga studio here in Cape Town. Tribe Sober members can book discounted online yoga sessions with the Shala so yet another reason to go to tribesober.com and hit that “join our tribe” button To find out more about Robyn and check out some of her awesome paintings just go to her IG page RobynDennyArt and her website is robyndennyart.com Joining Tribe Sober is a great way to start your Sober Curious journey - find out more on tribesober.com We'll put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so you can test your dependency Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more pe

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Lane Kennedy. A mother in long term recovery she is a podcaster who has used meditation as a vital tool in her recovery journey. She now helps others to learn how to meditate. Lane quit drinking in 1996 so is 25 years in recovery. In this Episode Lane describes her drinking life as glamorous and great fun - until it wasn't Her drinking was inconsistent - she would sometimes only have two glasses - on other days she would drink to blackout She did notice that she drank differently from her friends Although she lived in a big house in Hollywood Hills and had lots of "stuff" but she wasn't happy - drank to figure out why She didn't have a specific "rock bottom" but knew her whole life was falling apart Some well meaning friends tricked her attending an AA meeting, where she heard the message of recovery for the first time It took her a year to get sober - up to 90 days it was really difficult and she missed alcohol which was her coping mechanism 9/11 changed her life - she left the US and joined a Buddhist retreat in Thailand - looking for safety She realised that in fact the only safety any of us will find is deep within ourselves - and meditation enables us to reach that place Meditation got her to the place she was looking for when she was drinking - a place of peace Lane now believes that meditation and mindfulness are keys to handling addiction She has a podcast called "Recover like a Mother" which includes episodes devoted to meditations We discussed the "mommyjuice" syndrome - and how motherhood is glamorised via social media We talked about the importance of sober influencers - Lane's podcast provides a platform for sober moms to spread the word Lane has a podcast and a website - recoverlikeamother.com Lane is thrilled about the rise of the Sober Curious movement which enables more people to find the space to try sobriety Joining Tribe Sober is a great way to start your Sober Curious journey - find out more on tribesober.com We'll put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so you can test your dependency Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Will Black. He is a Life Mastery Coach and a registered Yoga teacher. He was clever enough to realise that alcohol was not serving him at an early age and these days his life and work is guided by the ethos of finding balance. Will’s mission is to help people to overcome their limiting beliefs and behaviors so they can live balanced intentional lives. In this Episode From almost the first time Will drank it was apparent that he was going to develop a problem – he had blackouts, guilt and remorse He was sensible enough to realise that he had to quit but had no idea how he was going to make a change Like many of us he put the moderation “rules” in place – and like many of us proceeded to break those rules! Will raised the interesting point that for many of us we use booze because we want to “break free” One or two glasses of wine won’t get us to that place so that’s why end up breaking the moderation rules. We agreed that when we get to the stage of wondering if we have a problem with alcohol the answer is Yes! Of course Will was worried about life without booze would be a kind of “half life” – no friends, no fun no relationship! The foundation to Will's sobriety was fitness and meditation - he watched videos, listened to podcasts - did it alone He now realizes that it would have been easier if he had found a community and connected with others who had done this His first year was difficult and he felt awkward and weird at social events but he persevered and it got easier He explained how meditation helps in early sobriety as we learn to become an observer of our thoughts Will raised the interesting point that when we drink we are trying to calm our mind – meditation does that, but in a healthy way Yoga, meditation and physical activities are ideal as they will reduce the dopamine deficit which hits us in early sobriety. He talked about the Domino Effect – quit drinking and you will start looking at other parts of your life You can find Will on IG – The Balanced Self and his website is WillOwenBlack.com – he teaches yoga and is a coach Although Will got sober alone it was an uphill battle – with hindsight he recommends that people connect with a group Tribe sober is one of those groups and we’ve been changing lives for five years now. Why not check us out on tribesober.com Joining Tribe Sober is a great way to start your Sober Curious journey We'll put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so you can test your dependency Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Lynne Brown - our very own Sober Buddy Mentor! A Brit like me Lynne came to South Africa 20 years ago and fell in love with this beautiful country! She is also a volunteer Alcohol Counsellor in the UK. In this Episode Lynne never had a “rock bottom” – she just became more aware that she always felt a bit “below par” She was aware that giving up alcohol would improve her health - and indeed it has She was drawn to learning more about addiction and she realized she could help others who were struggling Lynne has experienced considerable benefits since she went alcohol free – she sleeps much better and can eat more! We talked about the massive increase in alcohol problems in the UK during the pandemic - and the difficulty of making a change We have to reconfigure our lives when we stop drinking – especially if our lives have revolved around alcohol related activities. This has been really hard during lockdown of course – fewer opportunities to meet new people or develop new interests We talked about Tribe Sober’s Sober Buddy program – it all began because some people who got sober wanted to stick around Our "graduates" wanted the personal connection but also to help new people or people who were struggling The Sober Buddy program was informal at first but then Lynne came along and put some order in the system! We now have pictures and bios of all our Sober Buddies on the website - together with guidelines As a qualified counsellor Lynne has been able to offer support and advice to our Sober Buddies Joining Tribe Sober is a great way to start your Sober Curious journey We'll put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so you can test your dependency Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is William Porter - a lawyer with a passionate interest in the science behind alcohol dependency. He has written two books on the subject - Alcohol Explained and Alcohol Explained 2. In this Episode William started drinking and smoking at the tender age of 14! He managed to give up smoking by reading the book by Alan Carr - he was impressed by the methodology in that book He managed to quit drinking after delving into the science of dependency - and discovering just how harmful alcohol is We talked about "hangxiety" and how it's caused by chemical changes in our brain - when it becomes over-sensitised If you drink a bottle of wine every night then your brain will take the first glass as a signal that the rest of the bottle is coming! That's why moderation is so difficult - and it's exhausting as we are thinking about it all the time Cravings happen when we have a thought about drinking and then we start fantasising about that drink The joy of giving up altogether is that we don't entertain the idea of a drink so the cravings fade away Dependency happens once we learn (consciously or subsconsciously) that another drink will quell the anxiety caused by the first William explained FAB - Fading Affect Bias - when we think back fondly about our drinking days - and forget how bad we were FAB is responsible for many people falling off the wagon as they think they can now have "just one" - which is not sustainable Rather than worrying that we are an "alcoholic" William suggests we consider whether alcohol is taking away more than it gives us We both agreed that "sober socialising" is tough but that the best way to cope is to "feel the awkward and do it anyway" He explained why it's a complete myth that alcohol helps you sleep - the truth is that it ruins our sleep! His advice to people who want to stop is to write down all the reasons they want to drink - and realise they are all false beliefs You can purchase Williams books from his website - alcoholexplained.com - download first five chapters for free Joining Tribe Sober is also a great way to start your Sober Curious journey We'll put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so you can test your dependency Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Justin Lamb - podcaster, musician, asset management professional and therapist in training! In this Episode Justin grew up with an alcoholic father and his brother was also using - like many of us he started using alcohol to socialise A medical diagnosis of auto-immune disease forced him to quit drinking for five months - he was anxious to restart! He managed to stop drinking by educating himself about the harm it does - he went on a course about substance abuse Justin has experienced many benefits of sobriety. He feels gratitude that he is now able to "feel what I feel" - whether love or pain He is now able to better follow things through and complete his projects - he came up with a nice metaphor involving kayaking.. We talked about the normalisation of alcohol and how pharmaceutical drugs on US tv list the side effects - not not alcohol His advice about dealing with peer pressure is to take control early on - don't be shy about your sobriety! These days Justin is happy to hang out with responsible drinkers - but not the heavy drinkers. Although he got sober alone he is now enjoying the community support he is finding in the Clubhouse rooms. We discussed the value of Clubhouse and how people will be able to hear recovery tips and stories without going to meetings Justin has a podcast called Friend Request and you can follow him on Instagram @friendrequestpodcast We also agreed that people are far more likely to identify themselves as "Sober Curious" than "Alcoholics" Joining Tribe Sober is a great way to start your Sober Curious journey We'll put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so you can test your dependency Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Molly Watts, a senior living specialist who believes that we can create habits which will lead to a longer and healthier life. Going alcohol free is a healthy habit which will certainly help! In this Episode Molly was just 13 when she first challenged her mom about her drinking - and talks about growing up with an alcoholic mom Her mom continued to drink in spite of going to rehab 4 times - she died from an alcoholic binge at the age of 80 In spite of witnessing the damage that alcohol can do Molly went on to develop a drinking habit of her own She never hit "rock bottom" but she was drinking 3 or 4 glasses of wine every evening which was draining her energy/motivation Like many of us Molly had a constant nagging voice in her head about her drinking - was following in her moms footsteps? However she worked hard at making a change and now has a "peaceful" relationship with alcohol She began to understand that she was drinking as a buffer to deal with emotions - stress and overwhelm Molly realised that her drinking habit was in conflict with her passion project which was all about healthy and positive ageing She is a self confessed science geek and her key to changing her drinking habit was information The more she learned about alcohol the less the felt like drinking it! Molly talked me through what happens in our brains when we have a drink - and why we end up with Hangxiety She emphasised that there are absolutely no health benefits to alcohol - in spite of what the media tell us about red wine! Every time we drink we act as our own "petri dish" - as the alcohol has a different effect Molly explained that less than 10% of people who drink too much are physically addicted She talked about the DSM and how it examines your relationship with alcohol We agreed that the best way to make a change was to get "sober curious" - joining Tribe Sober is a great way to start! Join Tribe Sober and we'll put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so you can test your dependency Membership also gives you access to a wealth of information in the "Members Area" of our website More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our"Annual Tracker" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Dr Stephan Neff - a German who is living in New Zealand Stephan began to drink heavily at university and carried on into his twenties and thirties The medical profession was demanding and he used alcohol to cope with stress In this Episode At the age of 35 Stephan realised that his drinking was becoming problematic but pushed it to the back of his mind Alcohol was numbing the pain and giving him a temporary respite from the stress His wife also drank a lot - they were both A type personalities - striving to succeed - using alcohol to relax Stephan's wife managed to stop drinking and then began to urge him to make a change but with no success He was getting worse and worse - not enough alcohol to numb the pain Stephan hit rock bottom one night and was found crying in his garage - his wife arranged for him to go to rehab two days later She issued him an ultimatum - he would lose his family if he didn't go to rehab - he felt relieved but also full of shame Not everybody has to hit "rock bottom" before they make a change - get some help and join tribe sober Rehab was life changing for Stephan - in the bubble of rehab for 4 weeks - everything changed The staff were great - many of the staff were ex-addicts who were clean and thriving - they inspired him Stephan felt that he was being "listened to" and could "speak his truth" finally We offer a complimentary recovery coaching session to our members so they can experience the power of being listened to As part of his treatment he wrote a letter which was full of grievances - to help him deal with his resentment and anger Coming out of rehab was a bit of an anti-climax - nobody was that interested - he had to "walk the talk" to show he had changed Stephan has learned to avoid HALT - being Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired - which is could trigger him He talked about the difference between a "lapse" and a full blown "relapse"- after a lapse we need to "get curious" Our annual trackers help our members to get stay on track after a lapse - if you'd like an annual tracker - [email protected] In his book "Steps to Sobriety" he goes into details about relapses and what causes them - often a lack of self care Stephan has a podcast called "Into the Light" and a You Tube channel Treat a craving as a wave in the ocean - surf it rather than let it drown you! More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our"Annual Tracker" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Vicky Vanstone - a Brit who is living in Australia Vicky was a binge drinker whose identity was pretty much as a "party animal" However like many young women she found the transition from party animal to stay at home mom a very difficult one and eventually decided to stop drinking completely - and now she inspires other moms to get "sober curious" In this Episode Vicky had surrounded herself with other drinkers so her binge drinking was completely normalized As a party animal she enjoyed recounting funny stories from the night before Things changed for Vicky when she had her first child - motherhood introduced an element of shame into the morning after She felt hugely anxious and guilty that she was struggling to look after the baby when she was hungover These emotions led her to becoming "sober curious" at the age of 34 We agreed that the "sober curious" movement is hugely helpful as it implies that we can get off the slippery slope We don't have to hit "rock bottom" and become an "alcoholic" before we make some changes For Vicky the transition from independent party girl to stay at home mom was a huge shock - as it is for many women She believes that's where the mommyjuice culture comes from - the need for a release from the stress and boredom Motherhood is a tricky mix of mndane tasks and huge responsibility and women need more information to prepare them for that Just as drinking is glamorised by the media so is motherhood - which makes reality an even bigger shock Vicky got some help by going to a therapist - she learned that she had to value herself rather than "people pleasing" She has now been alcohol free for 2 years and has her own podcast called "Sober Awkward" Vicky's website is www.drunkmummysobermummy.com and she also has a FB group Joining Tribe Sober is also a great way to start your sober curious journey.. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you - calendar on homepage of tribesober.com Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is the lovely Loyiso Mkele. We met long before I started Tribe Sober and we had no idea that we had a "drink problem" in common ;-) However once I managed to stop drinking and started Tribe Sober, Loyiso reached out for help. She's been sober for two years and is thriving in her alcohol free life - have a listen to how she did it! In this Episode For 13 years Loyso was drinking at least a bottle of wine a day - she knew the problem would just get worse She knew she would have to make a change but had no idea HOW to make the change One day she heard me on the radio and because she knew me personally that shocked her into action - Loyiso realised that there was a support group for people like her Coming to the workshop was a huge relief for Loyiso - not only had she found her tribe but she now had a practical toolkit By using the toolkit and connecting with the tribe she was able to stop drinking - she loved the sense of community She was inspired by people who were hitting their milestones - and eventually became a role model herself She is now a Sober Buddy with two years of sobriety and enjoys helping our newbies to get started Loyiso had some tips for people starting out - find your people and connect with them daily. Immerse yourself in quitlit and podcasts - expect to be tired for a while and to get cravings for sweet things - eat fruit! Remember that alcohol free wine is your friend - take it out with you and use it at home when you would normally have a drink More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our"Annual Tracker" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you - calendar on homepage of tribesober.com Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This weekend is a special one for me - my sixth soberversary! So I'm talking about my six biggest challenges - and how I overcame them. In this Episode I summarise my story of how I got hooked on the booze and why I decided to make a change Then I go through my six biggest challenges and how I overcame them CHALLENGE 1 - Finding my People. I tried for many years to give up drinking alone but finally reached out for help and connection CHALLENGE 2 - Keeping Perspective - accepting that it was going to take time - first year about "not drinking" then going deeper CHALLENGE 3 - Dealing with Emotions - I had learn to cope with my emotions - to get comfortable with being uncomfortable CHALLENGE 4 - Dealing with Anhedonia - in early sobriety I struggled to find pleasure in anything - I had to push through this CHALLENGE 5 - Saying Goodbye to my Best Friend - I drew a line under my drinking years by writing a "goodbye to alcohol" letter CHALLENGE 6 - Finding my purpose - I had to embrace my alcohol free life and discover new interests and passions I linked a tip with each of my challenges which I hope will help others on this journey More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our"Annual Tracker" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you - calendar on homepage of tribesober.com Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is hypnotherapist Belinda Roxburgh - a valuable member of the Tribe Sober team. She came to one of our early workshops and has been alcohol free ever since. Belinda has worked with many of our members and helped them to overturn their limiting beliefs around alcohol. In this Episode After years of drinking we need to find a way to heal our minds as well as our bodies - that's where hypnotherapy comes in Belinda explained how addiction narrows our world and our ability to experience everyday pleasures Hypnotherapy can open up our world to other possibilities We talked about limiting beliefs and how hypnotherapy enables us to question those beliefs Belinda explained that she had been to several doctors/therapists about her anxiety- nobody asked her about her drinking Since she has been alcohol free her anxiety has reduced significantly She now realises we must take responsibility for our own healing - rather than relying on doctors who will just prescribe drugs We agreed that a Tribe Sober workshop plus a session with Belinda can enable someone to overturn their limiting beliefs Feelings and emotions are the language of the subconscious and hypnotherapy allows us to reach our subconscious mind She wasn't sure how well her hynotherapy sessions would work over Zoom but to her surprise they are working very well We talked about the number of sessions needed and Belinda explained that it varies but that 6 was the average We talked about our 66 day challenge which is based on the theory that you can create a new neural pathway in that time A few hypnotherapy sessions during the 66 days would increase the effectiveness of the challenge For more info go to Belinda's website www.riversidehypnosis.ca.za or email her at [email protected] More info To sign up for our 66 day challenge click HERE Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our e-book "66 days to sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you - calendar on homepage of tribesober.com Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Cici Reagan - a recovering addict and a domestic abuse survivor With a difficult upbringing and then an abusive partner the odds were stacked against Cici and she became an alcoholic - but she also found solace in her writing Not only has writing saved her own life but she is now helping others to heal - using the power of poetry. In this Episode Cici's father was an alcoholic - and so was her first partner. That is quite a common pattern She went to AA as that was the only thing she knew about - it took her years to find the right group - but eventually it worked As she got sober she was feeling emotions she'd buried for years - she had no idea how to deal with them She's been drinking since she was 14 so lacked the emotional maturity to deal with her emotions As she worked through her traumas Cici recognised that the drinking had just been a symptom Throughout everything she had been writing - poetry, short stories and journal entries. She shared what she was going through and when she got sober she sarted a community for people like herself Cici used to feel a lot of shame about her drinking but can now look back at her younger self with compassion We recommend journalling as a key recovery tool here at Tribe Sober If you feel you need help with your creative writing then check out www.cicireagan.com for free resources which can help Cici also runs workshops If you would like a copy of our e-book 66 days of sobriety then please email me [email protected] More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our e-book "66 days to sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you - calendar on homepage of tribesober.com Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Dr Avishkar Sabharwal who specialises in Obesity and Lifestyle Medicine. Avishkar has a passion for helping people suffering from lifestyle diseases, especially obesity, he aims to help people facing obesity get their lives back on track. In this Episode Avishkar suffered from obesity himself and has developed a passion to help others who have this problem We talked about the relationship between alcohol and obesity and Avishkar explained that alcohol is a source of empty calories Not only does alcohol have a detrimental effect on evey part of our body but it's a source of empty calories Even though alcohol adds no nutritional value at all it will still cause us to put on weight We discussed the similarities of dealing with a weight problem and alcohol dependence - and the importance of mindset for both We talked about the fact that food has always been a "social binder" within communities but these days it includes "non foods" "Non foods" are essentially junk foods - nutrient deficient yet acting on our addictive pathways (like alcohol) We agreed that accountability is hugely important - whether we are losing weight or giving up alcohol we need community I explained that at Tribe Sober we encouraged accountability via our Annual Trackers and Sober Buddies Avishkar stressed the importance of dealing "underlying causes" - whether for alcohol or obesity - therapy may be required We discussed Intermitted Fasting as a way of dealing with excess weight and also meal replacements Both of these methods are effective but it's important to choose a program which will be sustainable Avishkar has a free Facebook Community to help people wishing to lose weight - to to www.decodingobsesity.com for link He also has a weekly podcast called Decoding Obesity - available of Apple, Spotify etc If you would like a copy of the Annual Tracker (for logging your alcohol free days) email me [email protected] More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our e-book "66 days to sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you - calendar on homepage of tribesober.com Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is US integrative doctor - Dr Grace A self confessed "science geek" Dr Grace has a deep knowledge of how the body can function at its very best She's the perfect person to help us understand how we can repair our bodies and minds after years of alcohol abuse. In this Episode Dr Grace believes in optimal gut function and repair as the foundation of good health She explains how alcohol damages the gut and produces acidity - making us more prone to diseases like cancer Alcohol harms our brains as well as our bodies - and actually decreases our brain plasticity It causes our estrogen levels to increase and that's why it's linked to breast cancer The best thing we can do for our health is to stop drinking - that should be the foundation of our good health We discussed how we can rebuild our health in early recovery - one of the most important things is an alkalising diet We need supergreen smoothies and fermented foods like kaffir, yoghourt, kimchi and sauerkraut Fermented foods will help our bodies to absorb vitamins and will also help with sugar cravings we get when we quit drinking Stevia is a very sweet plant - a few drops of Stevia in our tea will satisfy cravings Alcoholics are always dehydrated - every glass of wine robs your body of 4 glasses of water - so drink lots of water If you are feeling low in early sobriety due to loss of dopamine then take a 5HTP supplement which should lift your mood. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our e-book "66 days to sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you - calendar on homepage of tribesober.com Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is the fabulous Clare Pooley Clare is 6 years sober and has inspired thousands of women via her blog and best selling book - the Sober Diaries. You can see her TED talk HERE Clare has been guest speaker at two of our London workshops In this Episode Like many of us Clare started drinking socially and gradually evolved to drinking a bottle of wine every evening Her rock bottom came one morning when she found herself drinking red wine to quell a hangover Her main strategy to ditch the drink was writing - every day for 3 years she poured her heart out to her anonymous blog Clare's blog is a great resource and anyone who feels alone in this journey should check it out here mummywasasecretdrinker These days she feels angry that we feel so much shame around our drinking - and thats why she did her TED talk on that topic Her strategies were writing, hot baths, hot chocolate, cleaning (!), books about alcohol, exercise, audio books and podcasts CLAIRE's TOP TIP - she reconfigured her day - went to bed at 7pm (to avoid evening drinking) and got up at 5am feeling great! As cooking the evening meal was a big temptation for her she cooked it in the morning and heated it up in the evening Like many of us she had a major low in early sobriety - she calls this "the wall" and believes it's our brain chemistry adjusting Her advice is to accept that we will have ups and downs on this journey but that they will get less extreme if we hang in there Her blog - the obstacle course went viral and is essential reading in early sobriety Clare's key message in the blog is to keep going however hard it gets - stopping and starting is the hardest way Her top tips for newbies - write down how bad it was so you don't forget, write your WHY list - why are you doing this? Be excited - you will gain more than you lose and another tip is to create a vision board Clare also said it was essential to "find your tribe" and recommended tribesober.com More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our e-book "66 days to sobriety" please email us at [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you - calendar on homepage of tribesober.com Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is South African Communications expert - Nicole Klassen You can see her TEDx talk HERE Nicole signed up for our first Sober Spring Challenge back in 2018 and it changed her life. In this Episode Nicole realised she was on a slippery slope when she started to drink alone - rather than socially She felt very emotional during early sobriety - and spent lots of time crying! We agreed that if you've been numbing yourself for years with booze then the emotions will spill out when we stop Sobriety helped her to find her voice again - and she wrote a beautiful blog about "66 days of feelings" Many of our Sober Springers have been inspired by Nicole's blog which you can access HERE Nicole explained how her meditation practice enabled her to better observe her own behaviour Benefits of sobriety included losing puffiness and 10kgs - she has developed a better relationship with her body A significant insight for her was the fact that ALL of our feelings are necessary (good or bad) She realised that our behaviour is triggered by a feeling which is triggered by a story we have in our past Since she stopped drinking Nicole has become more productive in her work and has become more consistent We talked about the "feminisation of alcohol" - as she comes from a marketing background she knows exactly how they work IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SIGN UP FOR OUR 66 DAY CHALLENGE PLEASE CLICK HERE More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our e-book "66 days to sobriety" please email us at [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x

Tribe Sober - inpiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Canadian author and life coach, Tamar Medford. Since overcoming her own 20-year battle with drugs, alcohol and obesity in 2012, Tamar has dedicated her life to empowering others to reach their true potential. In this Episode Although Tamar had a really happy childhood she went off the rails during her teenage years She remembers getting drunk at a party when she was 14 and feeling that the world had gone from black and white to colour She spent years chasing that feeling - and believes that those of us who become dependent experience a more intense high In her twenties she got into hard drugs which enabled her to drink even more - she saw herself as the "life and soul" of the party She got into addiction and yoyo dieting - eating too much fast food and putting on lots of weight She was married to an alcoholic - they drank lots of beers and vodka each evening - seeing it as the norm Tamar was at her lowest ebb and feeling suicidal when she decided she was going to make a change As she put it she decided to "stop digging" - rather than go on and reach her "rock bottom" With the help of her AA community Tamar managed to get clean and create a different life She created a personal vision "to empower others to live up to their potential" and everything she does aligns with this vision These days Tamar likes to push out of her comfort zone - believing that if she is not uncomfortable then she's not growing.. When we get sober we have to "get comfortable with being uncomfortable" in order to discover who we really are Tamar was worried that she wouldn't be able to have any fun if she gave up drinking but in fact she has found purpose and joy She has used her life experience to help others reach their potential and has written a best selling book She is also a podcaster and a Life Coach - more info on www.theroadforward.ca Tamar's podcast is called "The Road to Health" and her book is "Hope Elevated" More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our e-book "66 days to sobriety" please email us at [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today. Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse - are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation. You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x