Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

This is week I'm doing a solo episode about our online course which is called Kickstart Your Sober Life! In this Episode We've been running workshops since 2015 so have plenty of experience - almost 100 workshops on how to quit drinking! With my 25 years of corporate experience in training and development I've designed an online version of our workshop To ensure that people remain motivated and engaged throughout the workshop we've built in touchpoints You begin the course with a Zoom call with me so I can explore your relationship with alcohol and guide you through the course - another Zoom call for a mid course review and then you'll be booked in for a coaching session at the end The course content is divided into 7 lessons - each lesson begins with an overview video from me and then we drill down into the topic with relevant podcasts, Facebook Lives and Reading Recommendations At the end of every lesson is a multiple choice test to ensure that you've understood the principles of that lesson Lesson 1 is about mindset - about exploring and overturning the limiting beliefs we hold in our mind about alcohol Lesson 2 is about alcohol and your health - overview video and podcasts on immune system and cancer risk plus a BBC doccie called "Is Binge Drinking really that Bad?" Lesson 3 is about how alcohol works - includes podcasts about "hangxiety" from William Porter and "dependence" from Ken Middleton, plus overview video, FB lives and reading recommendations Lesson 4 is about finding your why - Finding Your Why is the key to getting (and staying) motivated - Tribe Sober team member Lucy will take you through an exercise to "Find Your Why" and Lynette does a video on "Loving Your Why" Lesson 5 is about the toolkit - the heart of our courses - 15 tried and tested tools and strategies to enable you to quit drinking and then to go on and thrive in your alcohol free life Lesson 6 is about coaching - our Recovery Coach Lynette will explain what coaching is and how it can help you navigate those early tricky months of recovery - backed up by podcasts and lots of reading about coaching Lesson 7 is about getting started - an overview video from me with advice on how to take all this theory and apply it to your life - also podcasts on beginning the healing journey with yoga, nutrition, meditation and various therapies The course ends with you creating an Action Plan and booking yourself in with Lynette for a coaching session to enable you to start the implementation of everything you've learned To get our PDF 10 steps to kickstart your sober life just email [email protected] More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

My podcast guest this week is Lindsey Beveridge who I met 7 years ago at a "how to quit drinking" workshop in London! We were both hungover and grumpy so we didn’t even connect on that day so it’s been amazing to meet her again here in Soberland. Shout out to Club Soda who ran that workshop as we are both 7 years sober now! Not only are we sober but we both help other people to quit drinking and then to go on and thrive in their sobriety. Lindsey qualified as a nutritionist in 2019 and helps people to implement changes to their diet and lifestyle so they can feel better. She uses a functional medicine approach to enable her clients to change their patterns of behaviour. In this Episode Lindsey was a teenage drinker and enjoyed the confidence it gave her Like many of us her drinking got heavier as she got older until she became dependent At the age of 47 she was taking “Are You an Alcohol?” quizzes and ticking all the boxes Her excessive drinking began to frighten her and as a single parent she feared that her young daughter might find her dead one day Lindsey realised that she should go for a medically assisted detox but she was afraid to do this in case her daughter was taken away from her She tapered off her drinking to avoid the worst of the withdrawal symptoms but she would not recommend tapering to anyone We discussed how difficult tapering is and how similar it is to the moderation battle In retrospect she realises she should have gone to rehab for a detox We agreed that for anyone with a serious drinking problem Rehab for a week and then connecting with a community to keep them on track was the best strategy I always say to people that for the first few months they need to make their sobriety a priority and “throw the book at it” and Lindsey certainly did that! As you heard she listened to podcasts, read books, did yoga, ate well and spent quality time with her daughter. Lindsey agreed that we need projects to keep the dopamine triggered in early sobriety – for Lindsey it was exercise, learning new things and voluntary work that kept her happy. She used this time to explore lots of different things and during that exploration she found some things that she absolutely loved. Early sobriety is indeed a journey of self discovery and here at Tribe Sober we’ve set up a 7-step journey for our members - so they can try out things like coaching, yoga, hypnotherapy, meditation, art therapy - either for free or at significantly discounted rates. Just CLICK HERE and check out what we can offer you. Year 1 was tough for Lindsey – she was tired all the time – nutritionally lacking with gut issues – so she had to build herself up again Year 2 was about dealing with the underlying trauma that she’d been drinking away for years – she went through a lot of intense therapy but By Year 3 it was done a dusted and she felt great! This is so important to hear for those people who have been sober for a while but don’t really feel they are thriving or enjoying life more – the message here is to be patient Remember how long you’ve been drinking for and remember the guideline we learned from Dr Dawn (podcast number 61 – Sept 2021) – From her extensive experience as a rehab doctor Dawn has observed that it takes a month of recovery for every year that we drank for all of the benefits to manifest As you do the maths and come up with 40 months (as in my case) don’t be discouraged as you will start to feel better almost immediately and of course for those people who are already a couple of years sober this is great news as it means that the benefits will just keep coming! Lyndsey is a qualified and experienced nutritionist so she gave us some really useful advice about:- Menopause – drinking during menopause will disrupt our endocrine system and make us more oestrogen dominant which can lead to breast cancer – that’s a fact that I wish I’d learned before I got my breast cancer! In fact alcohol disrupts all our hormones, it throws out our thyroid, it affects our insulin levels and also prevents us from absorbing vital nutrients from our food. The resulting nutritional deficiency affects our DNA replication and repair which of course has implications for cancer As Lyndsey explained taking a handful of supplements will do nothing if we are drinking – the alcohol will simply cancel out any benefits – a bit like taking meds and drinking. Of course we talked about gut health – the fact that alcohol affects not only our gut lining but also the microbiome which in turn affects many other parts of our body Another interesting fact that I learned from Lyndsey was the fact that some of us have naturally low levels of dopamine so we turn to alcohol to make us feel good Other people (including Lyndsey) have low levels of Gaba (the calming neurotransmitter) so will use alcohol to calm themselves down. So in early sobriety we need to build up those neurotransmitters – if we tend to be dopamine deficient we can do more exercise to raise it and i

My podcast guest this week is Jeanna Fox – she’s a sobriety coach, podcaster, and writer. As a college professor she inspired thousands of young adults to pursue their dreams. These days she uses her own experience to help women recover from addiction and childhood trauma. In this Episode Jeanna was a late starter with her drinking – in fact it wasn’t until after her gastric bypass operation at the age of 36 that she started to develop a drinking problem Many people who have this operation to lose weight go on to develop a problem with alcohol – because alcohol becomes a new alternative to overeating. Not only did Jeanna turn to drinking instead of eating to numb her feelings but she struggled to regulate her intake – sometimes she would pass out after one drink and other times she could have several and be fine – her reactions to alcohol became unpredictable She had lots of blackouts so of course she introduced the “rules” Only drinking at certain times, restricting to certain amounts, tipping barmen to ensure all her drinks were alcohol free – and no texting. Of course like all of us who set rules around our drinking she then went on to break them! Tragically Jeanna lost her son to suicide and turned to alcohol to numb the pain –she drank for seven straight months and had several drinking related accidents which ended up in hospital She also got arrested for drunken behaviour so was in real trouble However one day she came across a Medium who helped her to feel a connection to her son. This was a spiritual experience which became part of her recovery. She got sober with AA and almost immediately wanted to help others. Geanna had been abused as a child and she felt that this experience combined with her alcoholism gave her the insight she needed to help others. She explained how she loves to use Plato’s allegory of the Cave – and how as we escape from our addiction it’s our duty to go back in and get people out! We talked about AA and the way that they don’t like to talk about childhood abuse in the rooms – which annoys Jeanna because its one of the causes of her alcoholism – and for many others as well Jeanna is working with her partner Vince to set up a membership program The membership is for families of alcoholics – we agreed that many people go to rehab, then return to the family. The family expect them to be “cured” but in fact the whole family needs to work together to make things change. Jeanna has a byline on her Linkedin Profile that says “If you’re successful with alcohol just imagine what you could be without it” – I love that and think its so true – even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us it will stop us reaching our potential We talked about how pleasure and pain are big motivators – in early sobriety we are motivated by pain as our memories of the trouble alcohol caused us are fresh – but as those memories fade we are at risk at convincing ourselves we can have “just one” William Porter describes this as Fading Affect Bias The Challenge is to push through this and then the pleasures of sobriety will take over as the motivator – and the awesome thing is those pleasures keep coming as you discover the “surprising joy of being sober” We talked about warning signs and agreed that feeling that you may have a problem with alcohol is a big one – the fact that you are listening to this podcast is a bit of a clue… Jeanna’s advice to someone trying to get started is to join a community and just listen and learn – even if you carry on drinking just listen and learn for a while… Jeanna has a podcast (Backporch Chats) and a website nowsobercoach.com More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search f

David Collins is well known in the recovery world. He is the founder of the Foundation Clinic and U-ACT here in South Africa. He is a Master Recovery Coach with a keen sense of social responsibility. Through his Ubuntu Addiction Community Trust he’s trained a team of Recovery Coaches who are addressing South Africa’s need to build recovery capital. In this Episode David’s father was an alcoholic and he told us the touching story of creating a picture of his family in school at the age of 10 – then a classmate looking at the picture and saying that his parents were drug addicts. That makes me think of our last workshop. There were several people there who had alcoholism in the family. There was also a young guy who had small children and he told us that just listening to the sad stories from people who had grown up with an alcoholic parent had made him determined to change. David made the decision that he would never be like his father – so he turned to hard drugs rather than alcohol! We talked about the false beliefs we all have about addiction – the stories we tell ourselves – for example that wine is “better” than cocaine – but of course its all drugs.. He told us that it took about 3 years for him to go from “I’ve got a problem” to “This is hell and I need help” - I’ve often talked about the average length of time for people it takes someone with an alcohol problem to reach out for help being 11 years so it seems that hard drugs will take you down faster! David hit his rock bottom when he became addicted to heroin and crack cocaine and lost his kids to foster care. As the result of a medical at the Japanese bank where he was working David was sent to his first rehab but it took a few rehab stays before he got clean. He began his journey into recovery 26 years ago – when there was nothing else available except the 12 step approach. However the 12 step model worked for him and he was abstinent for 15 years – in fact he called himself Captain Recovery and collected all the chips and keyrings going! He was back in banking, remarried and was ticking all the boxes for a happy life – the only problem was that he wasn’t happy! David did some personal development with the Mankind Project and then studied business coaching. It occurred to him that the coaching model would fit very well into recovery processes As he explained the discipline of the 12 steps kept him clean for 12 years but then he needed more – rather than being told to keep to the steps he was ready to be empowered to discover what recovery actually meant for him – and recovery coaching was the perfect mechanism for that. The role of the recovery coach is to facilitate the growth of Recovery Capital. David explained that Recovery Capital is about building internal resources so that we can stay clean and be fulfilled in our lives Here at Tribe Sober we enable you to quit drinking and then to go on and thrive in your alcohol free life – we have our own Recovery Coaches who can help you to build those inner resources needed to thrive David talked about shame – the internal shame we all feel when we are struggling – and the communal shame felt by the family – and then of course the stigma society places on addiction which perpetuates the problem – we have to find a way to lift the shame and let the healing begin We talked about the wider problems of alcohol and drug abuse here in SA and David is personally involved in training and sending recovery coaches into communities. He strongly believes that recovery capital is key and research has shown for every $1 spent on education there is a saving of $7 ($3 on medical costs and $4 on criminal justice interventions) That’s a pretty impressive return on investment! With the work he does in the world of recovery David feels that he has connected to his soul's purpose You can find out more about David on his website which is https://davidcollinscoaching.com ., he’s on Instagram and I also spotted him doing some crazy stuff on TikTok the other day so do check him out! More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you som

Anneke Roussel is a Tribe Sober member who knows all about the work hard/play hard culture. She worked overseas in Afghanistan and Somalia and often found herself sharing bottles of scotch with her male colleagues in Mogadishu. The combination of retirement from her exciting career and the isolation of the pandemic saw her continuing with her scotch but adding a couple of bottles of wine into the mix. In this Episode Anneke married an alcoholic – he stopped drinking via AA and Anneke went to AA so she became well aware of the 12 steps and became a sponsor She never imagined that she would become an alcoholic herself which shows that we should never become complacent Anneke had a corporate career but she also owned a restaurant which became the heart of her social life She had a severely disabled child and turned to alcohol to cope with the stress of managing her career and looking after her child. Tragically her daughter died at the age of 10 and Anneke turned to drink to try to numb the pain She took a job in Afghanistan where she worked with a bunch of hard drinking men. Only whisky was available so that’s where she learned to love her whisky. She moved from Afghanistan to Somalia where she stayed for 5 years – another high stress job where sitting under the trees drinking whisky with her colleagues was the daily after work activity. Anneke returned to South Africa planning to retire and then travel the world – however Covid hit which meant that she had to live on her farm which was fairly isolated She managed to keep to her father’s rule of no booze before 5pm but at 5 it was a whisky followed by two bottles of wine. We talked about how we get to the stage where we actually prefer drinking alone than being with other people – which is a real warning sign of dependence It means we are creating a relationship with alcohol, its fast becoming our best friend. Anneke felt that drinking had become part of her identity – that happens to many of us and that’s why our friends are so horrified when we say we are going to quit drinking! Like me Anneke suffered from walking talking blackouts – and like me she was horrified to learn that those kind of blackouts mean that the brain become so soaked in alcohol it cannot even make memories – its not just that we have forgotten stuff! It was lockdown and SA’s alcohol ban that made Anneke realise the severity of her problem. She found herself searching for liquor on the black market and didn’t care how much she paid. She would go out to a restaurant, drink a bottle of wine alone and then purchase another bottle to bring home. She went to look at a rehab but the 12 steps didn’t appeal to her as she definitely didn’t feel powerless over alcohol At Tribe Sober we believe in putting down our glass and taking back our power! So at Tribe Sober Anneke found “her people” and an approach that worked for her. Tribe Sober coach Lynette helped her to find her power and to learn to be kind to herself. She’s worked on her “inner child” – or inner children perhaps we should say – Anneke still has the saboteur and the inner critic - she now visualises them as children sitting in a bus – but these days Anneke is in the driving seat and just tells them to be quiet! These days she is thoroughly enjoying her retirement and is so relieved that she made a conscious decision to quit so that she doesn’t risk drinking her retirement away like so many people do If you are a bit older and worried about your drinking have a listen to my interview with British Psychiatrist Dr Tony – Tribe Sober podcast episode 35 She is now in her second year of sobriety so I asked her why she stuck around with the tribe – she had 3 reasons 1. She gets a reminder of just how hard it used to be when she sees new members starting out. 2. She loves the connection – with a group of people who understand you straight away 3. It keeps her grounded and reminds her never to think that she might be able to moderate! More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every

Dennis Berry is a Life Mastery Coach and has been working with people worldwide for over 15 years. He has been sober since April 8, 2003 during which time he became a successful businessman, athlete, and family man. His journey in recovery helped him find his mission in life, which is to help others achieve inner peace and success, and master every area of their lives. In this Episode Dennis took us behind the scenes of what he calls the “vampire lifestyle” that he led when he was working in restaurants – vodka and coke stashed in the freezer He was caught in a vicious cycle – waking up feeling awful and resolving to go straight home after work, drinking all day during his shift at the restaurants and then finding himself at the bar after work – again – over and over – he didn’t know how to escape He got out of the restaurant trade at the age of 27 and got sober at 31 when (as he puts it) his life began… Dennis got sober by going to rehab and doing the work – he did absolutely everything they recommended and it worked At Tribe Sober we recommend that people prioritise their sobriety and “throw the book” at it – listen to the podcasts, read the quitlit, stay connected with the community – do everything you can for at least 6 months and your life will change.. As we says rehab is discovery but its only when he left that his recovery began – at the age of 31 Dennis was hungry for life He made the very interesting point that although ditching the booze can help us “recover” ourselves, for people like Dennis - he had to learn to live their lives for the first time! That made me think of the fact that our emotional maturity stalls at the age that we start drinking heavily – so if we start drinking at a young age we never get the chance to learn how to handle our feelings and our emotions. We agreed that although AA can be a good start we need to do the work and then go out and live – we can’t spend 30 years going to the rooms for meetings! He feels that the best thing about AA is the community and all sobriety groups can offer this – connection is the opposite of addiction Fix the drinking and then you can address other parts of your life – this is called the Domino Effect - check out Tribe Sober episode 52 for more info. Dennis came up with a nice analogy – if we are going through a divorce, an addiction, financial problems we sometimes feel as if our life is falling apart – but we should try reframing that because often it means that our lives are actually falling into place – it’s the beginning rather than the end That made me think of the JK Rowling quote: Rock Bottom became the foundation on which I built my life Dennis discovered that helping others gave him purpose – he wanted a life of service In his book “Funky Wisdom” Dennis uses the acronym HOW – Honesty (admit there is a problem) O = be open minded W= new way of life We’ve been taught that asking for help is a sign of weakness but in fact it’s a sign of strength He explained that when a normal drinker feels a bit tipsy that will be a red light for him to stop – whereas for us dependent drinkers we get a green light to keep going! We talked about how the whole world is manipulated by various forms of marketing and he raised the interesting point about the placement of tv commercials – the news will pump fear into us for 10 minutes and then show us an ad for booze or junk food to trigger us to numb the pain As Dennis said our subconscious mind is “running the show” and those limiting beliefs we hold about drinking being fun etc will keep us drinking BUT the good news is that we CAN reprogram our subconscious which is what we teach in our 4-hour Zoom workshops Dennis talked about the dangers of cross addiction – to smoking and eating sugary foods for example. They are just another distraction to numb our feelings. In fact smoking and sugar will damage our immune system – and a strong immune system will help us to cope with cravings. We need to stop the harmful habits and add in healthy habits and which can take up to a year. Dennis believes in starting his day by getting “centred” and his 6 steps (which he explains in Funky Wisdom”) enables him to get and stay centred. These days he uses meditation, mindfulness and CBT to process his feelings so he no longer feels the need to numb them away. We talked about the importance of having a project when we get sober – we have to start building something worthwhile rather than just waiting for life to happen and Building a purposeful and healthy life takes years whereas drinking is just a quick fix.. More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership

There are so many inspiring quit lit memoirs out there but very few from South Africa. Apart from Melinda Ferguson's "Smacked" and Sam Cowen's "From Whisky to Water" there has been a distinct lack of inspiration coming from the Southern Hemisphere. However that’s all changed thanks to my podcast guest Thando Pato who has just published her Quit Lit memoir - "On the Rocks". When Thando wanted to get sober she struggled to find a book by someone she could relate to. So she has put this situation right by becoming the first black South African woman to write a QuitLit memoir. As it says on her book cover:- "Thirty-nine year old Thando is living in complete denial about her drinking. On the surface, her life appears aspirational – she has an enviable job, a cool apartment and a snazzy car. But behind the facade she harbours a dark and shameful secret – she can’t control her drinking." In this Episode Like many of us Thando’s drinking career got started at University – that combination of being away from home with access to cheap booze and drinking buddies gets to many of us. However she was not at all worried about her drinking as it just felt normal. In fact she displayed a very sensible attitude towards alcohol as she ditched it for a year while she was doing her post grad at Rhodes - she was paying for her own studies and well aware of the heavy drinking reputation at Rhodes. However by 2012 she had got into the habit of drinking a bottle of wine at home most evenings of the week Still not particularly concerned but when her therapist told her she was an alcoholic she stormed out of the room and promptly sacked her – Thando was still in denial about having a problem but the therapist had definitely planted a seed! Thando’s drinking accelerated in 2016 when she had two personal setbacks. Using alcohol to deal with disappointments can easily become our default and it's actually a big sign of progress when we can deal with our lows (and even our highs) without reaching for the booze. Thando described 2016 as a bit of a blur – often having to leave her car and collect it the next morning, not remembering the journey home, awful hangovers, feeling a lot of shame etc.. I think many of us can identify with that blurry stage – that’s when you really need to make a change and step off the slippery slope of dependence Of course Thando was making (and breaking) rules by this time but finally accepting that she had a toxic relationship with alcohol but like many of us she had no idea HOW to make a change. Like me she trotted down to AA but like me she listened to the shares and decided that she wasn’t “that bad” and that she didn’t fit in at all! Now that I look back on the AA experience and that feeling of being "ok" because we are not drinking in the morning etc it occurs to me that we should be comparing ourselves with the best version of ourselves that we could be – rather than comparing ourselves with the hard core “alcoholic” Thando made a pact with her brother to not drink for a year and he would be a support Thando’s decision to take a year off was a brave one but it had a fatal flaw – she was under the impression that this sabbatical from the booze would mean that she would be able to reset her habits and drink “normally” This was futile because once our drinking has crossed that line into dependence we can never go back – we have to go forward and create an alcohol free life – a life we don’t want to escape from Tribe sober can help you do that – so why not join our tribe. Thando’s therapist pointed out that the fact that she was taking a year off indicated that she did have a problem with alcohol as it would never occur to a “normal” drinker to do that! She was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and told that she displayed the traits of a functioning alcoholic What helped Thando finally accept that she was a functioning alcoholic was the explanation she got from her therapist of alcoholism being a spectrum – two extremes with many degrees of dependence in between At one end is the stereotype alcoholic (that homeless man in the park) and at the other end is the non drinker – most of the population fall between those two extremes Back in 2012 Doctors Nowinsky and Doyle published a book called “Almost Alcoholics” – these people are still holding it all together but edging up to the alcoholic end of the spectrum The trick is to keep an eye on your relationship with alcohol and your location on the spectrum. If you’d like one of our free pdfs called “Signs you have a drinking problem” then email me at [email protected] Once Thando had got through her sober year (mostly by white knuckling it) life threw her a couple of curved ball which meant that her intentions to moderate were completely derailed She was diagnosed with breast cancer and as drinking was her default mechanism for dealing with trauma she drank more than ever to cope with the stress, the surgery and the various treatments Then came the pandem

Life Lessons from Recovery As we ditch the booze and try to navigate our alcohol drenched world without it we often say we are on a “journey”. My guest this week got sober and then decided to embark on a physical journey. From Mexico to Canada – on foot! – 2,500 miles! – 5 months! She applied the lessons from her recovery to the walk and then wrote a book about it.. My guest uses her trail name which is Person Irresponsible – P.I. for short.. In this Episode PI grew up in a drinking home and married a drinker – a familiar story as we tend to seek out the familiar – our comfort zone In her twenties she doesn’t recall being worried about her drinking but there were certainly some “incidents’ She realises that she was in deep denial – hanging around with other drinkers to normalise her behaviour As she got into her thirties her hangovers got more severe, her marriage collapsed and she started drinking until she blacked out Like many drinkers she fell into “victim” mode, blaming others – in her case blaming her ex husband As she looks back on this she can see that alcoholism prevents any rational thought PI became so unhappy during this period she didn’t actually care what happened to her or what harm she was doing to herself with alcohol She never read romance or chick lit but for some reason she had an urge to read Rachels Holiday by Marian Keyes At the end of the book Marian had written about AA so PI decided to call the helpline and talk to someone – as a result of this conversation she decided to try 30 days without alcohol She went to 30 meetings in 30 days and was thrilled to get her 30 day chip – one of the guys at the meetings said – now you have to do 60 days which came as a surprise but she decided to go for it, after all physically she felt so much better! PI loved the stories and the drama – and the chips at AA – she wasn’t so keen on the solutions and didn’t listen to those.. Unsurprisingly she relapsed – on Day 72 – but the alcohol she drank didn’t give her the relief she was looking for She went to a meeting and heard a share that really resonated with her – and she finally accepted that she was an alcoholic That got her back on track and although she suffered from bad cravings now and again she learnt how to “break the spell” – whether by talking to someone or writing a list of reasons to be sober As she hit one year sober she started to hear a voice saying “surely you can have just one now” – as well as the voices explaining why that would be a bad idea. As she said she had a “war” going on in her head – full on cognitive dissonance as the psychologists call it.. That made me think of the study by the Tempest that it takes a person an average of 11 years to reach out for help – that’s 11 years of listening to the battle between your rational mind and your limiting beliefs in your subconscious – exhausting! She made the decision to get her one year chip and then to try having a drink – but then she got a call from a sponsee asking for help – listening to this persons struggle “broke the spell” for her and made her realise that she didn’t want ever to go back to those difficult days again That’s why we encourage our members to stick around even after they have got sober – it's so rewarding to be able to help other people and it’s a reminder of how tough those early days are – after all who wants to keep doing the hardest bit, again and again. We even have a 6 years+ group at Tribe Sober and the conversations are quite different on that group – we added up our collective years of sobriety the other day - 184 Years in all! Like many of us PI found herself with time on her hands when she stopped drinking. Inspired by a movie called "Wild" she decided to walk the worlds longest footpath – from Mexico to Canada, the Pacific Crest Trail. We always say that your world will open up to new possibilities when you ditch the drink and PI is a great example She was able to apply the lessons she had learned in recovery during the walk – she gave us a nice analogy of the initial excitement at the beginning of the walk (pink cloud), followed by the boredom and the difficulty and the need to just keep going. Her walk was a perfect metaphor for her recovery journey – and she often just wanted to quit She describes the PCT as the second greatest achievement in her life (after recovery) At Tribe Sober we often say that Sobriety is a Superpower as if we can do that we can do anything! So do get hold of PI’s book which is called “Everything you Ever Taught Me” – I’ve read it and it’s great – very funny and full of insight More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe

How to Stop Binge Drinking with Mindset Coach Kathryn In early sobriety I was dutifully working my way through the QuitLit but one day I picked up a book that changed everything for me – the Naked Mind by Annie Grace. That book was a revelation – I finally understood how we are manipulated endlessly by the liquor industry to believe that we need their toxic product to enjoy our lives. I started to see things quite differently. I started to laugh when yet another booze advert came on tv or another glamorous movie heroine poured herself a huge glass of wine! I realised what the missing piece had been all along – it was mindset. Until I read the Naked Mind I was white knuckling my sobriety so I was missing the most important piece of all. That’s why we say the objective of our workshop is to create a mindshift – we know that we have to enable you to change your thinking – about drinking if you are to go on and actually thrive in your alcohol free life. Our next workshop is coming up on June 25- you can get more info and book here So now you’ve heard how what a gamechanger The Naked Mind was for me you will understand why I’m thrilled to welcome one of Annie Grace’s Mindset Coaches as my guest this week… Kathryn shares her personal story with us and explains why binge drinkers often don’t even realise that they have a “problem”… In this Episode Kathryn was a teenage drinker. With a friend she got through a bottle of gin and a packet of cigarettes at the age of 14 – the results were not pretty and involved a lot of vomiting but did not deter her Drinking is so normalised in Australia that she almost felt an obligation to “push through” these early experiments until she got to a place where she was enjoying it – and she did! In fact she discovered that once she started drinking she didn’t really have an “off” switch. Now that she works with a lot of binge drinkers in her coaching career she hears many of say that they don’t have an “off” switch Kathryn would be in a cycle – go for it, recover, go for it, recover She didn’t really see this as a “problem” even when she started having blackouts at 16 – some blackouts which involved driving She could go for weeks without drinking and challenges like Dry January were easy for her but she would always see these dry periods as permission to binge before and afterwards! As Kathryn looks back on those short periods of abstinence she realises they did nothing to help her understand her binge drinking habit Women need to understand that binge drinking is particularly dangerous as it can take up to a month for our liver to recover from a heavy session. We tend to think that once the hangover has gone we can start drinking again but that just piles more damage on top of the existing damage. Both Kathryn and I spent far too much time in the “Moderation Trap” as we couldn’t imagine our lives without alcohol. Even if we white knuckled our moderation for a while the binge drinking would return. We are also both health conscious so can now appreciate the irony of going gluten free, eating organic, doing yoga, exercising daily – and then drinking far too much! It’s as if it’s the last piece of the puzzle for our health – we are prepared to do all sorts of other things (even run marathons!) so long as they don’t take our wine away! Kathryn always imagined she would “grow out” of her binge drinking but by the age of 42 she realised she had been stuck in this pattern for nearly 30 years and something would have to change. There were two incidents in her 40’s which were a catalyst for the change – getting drunk at her brother's wedding where she fell over and hurt her hand and then had a row with her mother. The second incident was a family holiday where she frightened her teenage children by being unable to walk The next day she sat on the beach and cried – she realised she would have to quit I call this the “moment of truth” and it comes to many of us – that feeling of “I’m done, I just can’t do this anymore” Kathryn joined the Alcohol Experiment with Annie Grace with the intention of trying a year of sobriety – she learned a lot and got huge comfort from the community, realising that she was not alone in this – it was not her fault that she got addicted to an addictive substance! We both agreed that the recovery community is special and we love being trailblazers for the alcohol free lifestyle Like me Kathryn is a breast cancer survivor and she talks of the moment she was diagnosed She reflected on the fact that her default position for dealing with trauma was to drink but in fact she realised that she needed all her mental and physical strength to deal with her breast cancer My diagnosis was back in 2006 when I still drinking and I remember seeing it as a perfect opportunity to slip into victim mode and step up the drinking! Neither of us realised just how strong the link is between heavy drinking and breast cancer – in fact just 3 or 4 drinks a week will increase your risk by 15%

Tribe Sober - Your guide to alcohol-free living! Last week I celebrated my 7th Soberversary by having breakfast in a smart hotel – that’s a great tip for sober socialising btw– no pesky questions about “why aren’t you drinking?” and you can even get a nice buzz going from all the coffee! You can choose the most upmarket venue in town and it’s still going to be a lot cheaper than a long boozy lunch in a mediocre restaurant! I shared my story with you last week and this week I’m talking about 7 things I’ve learned during my 7 years of sobriety. Perspective is everything so I’ve tried to pick out 7 things I’ve learned over the years – things that may help others who are on this journey. 20% ANNUAL MEMBERSHIP DISCOUNT CODE ANN052022 – valid during May 2022 In this Episode - My Top 7 Tips Get ready to feel those feelings Remember that not drinking hurts (at first) Be Ready for the Wine Witch and Moderation Mary Prepare for the void You will need to Shake things up a bit Throw the Book at It Keep Perspective and remember that the only failure is to stop trying! More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. 20% ANNUAL MEMBERSHIP DISCOUNT CODE ANN052022 – valid during May 2022 To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Tribe Sober - Your guide to alcohol-free living! After running Tribe Sober for 6 years and helping hundreds of people to ditch the drink and embrace alcohol-free living I've learned a lot. My biggest insight has been that sharing our stories around our problems with alcohol is the most powerful way we can help others - that's why the heart of this podcast is recovery stories. Today I celebrate seven years of sobriety so I'm sharing my story - how I quit drinking and started Tribe Sober In this Episode How I got hooked on the booze - and nearly drowned - and carried on drinking How I got breast cancer - and carried on drinking How I kept trying (and failing) to "moderate" How a "walking, talking blackout" made me (finally) decide to ditch the drink How I went to AA and why it didn't work for me How I finally found "my people" at a one day workshop in London and managed to stop drinking How I stayed sober - and decided to use my training experience to design a workshop to help others How the workshop participants wanted to stay connected and Tribe Sober membership was born How I marked my first Soberversary by writing a "Goodbye to Alcohol" Letter How I'm celebrating my seventh Soberversary by developing an online course which will be available in July 2022 More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. 20% ANNUAL MEMBERSHIP DISCOUNT CODE ANN052022 – valid during May 2022 To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Novels tend to portray alcohol use as tough and gritty, or fun and relaxing or romantic and sexy – take your pick! As a culture we’ve internalised these ideas which has contributed to the “normalisation” of drinking. My guest this week is trying to create some balance by featuring a sober heroine in her Cyberpunk novel “Bubbles in Space”. Sarah Jensen is a Canadian science fiction author and strongly believes that we need more sober characters in fiction. For people in recovery sober characters are powerful and inspiring. Sarah shares her own recovery story with us and explains how she has drawn upon her struggles with alcohol to create her fictional character: In this Episode Although she dabbled in high school and had the occasional binge at college Sarah’s drinking didn’t really take off until she became a parent and signed up for the mommy juice culture. In fact when a later diagnosis showed that she had been suffering from post natal depression she realised that she had been self medicating with alcohol for 4 years As a writer she was also part of the creative circles who bought into the belief that alcohol fuels creativity – “write drunk, edit sober” was a popular myth I discuss this myth (and others) in my interview with South African author Eusebius McKaiser in the Tribe Sober podcast, episode 77 – called Busting Sobriety Myths - released in January 2022 At the age of 34 Sarah realised that she was facing some choices – was she going to be a Better Mom – or a Drinker, a Better Wife – or a Drinker, a Better Writer – or a Drinker. She realised that drinking had taken up such a lot of space in her head that there was no room for anything else We discussed the twisted thinking that arises due to the fact that some brilliant writers were alcoholics – of course they were not brilliant BECAUSE they were alcoholics - it was more down to them being so driven that they were able to succeed IN SPITE of being alcoholics… We wondered how much better they could have been and how much more they could have written if they were not drinking excessively. Most functioning alcoholics are using so much energy to hold it all together that when they stop they have a surplus of energy to use for more constructive endeavours – we see this over and over in our tribe Sarah talks of having an “epiphany” one day when she could sense the toxins building up in her body and realised that she was on a slippery slope As a reader she turned to Quitlit - Annie Grace’s book (the Naked Mind) make her realise that she had an opportunity and a choice to save herself from a lot of pain Because she hadn’t hit “rock bottom” she felt fortunate that she was able to make such a choice before she became totally dependent Sarah realised that sobriety was a gift not a punishment This reframing helps us change our mindset – at Tribe Sober we say that sobriety is an opportunity and that we will gain so much more than we will lose.. Another book which resonated with Sarah was The Biology of Desire by Marc Lewis as she wanted to understand more about how the brain works and the science behind it and as she discovered Mindfulness she read The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle So in fact Sarah tackled the problem intellectually but she also connected with online sober communities to keep her on track. As she began to clock up some sober time she found that one of the important advantages of being in a sober community was that it served as a reminder of how hard it had at the beginning We both have been blown away by the authenticity and kindness of the sober online communities – if you are looking for a small and friendly sober community then go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” Sarah did feel some nostalgia for the “good times” which would have been triggered by Fading Affect Bias – when our brains trick us into forgetting the bad times and remembering the highlights of our drinking days.. I explained that we recommend to our members that they write a Goodbye to Alcohol Letter listing just how unhappy alcohol has made them over the years – something to read back over when FAB strikes – Sarah has promised to write us a Goodbye to Alcohol letter and you can find all of ours on tribesober.com/Inspiration/GoodbyeLetters – send yours in and we will be happy to publish it! We discussed how drinking becomes part of our identify and that when we ditch it we have to work on our sober identity – and be out and proud! Sarah wants to be a voice of strength and positivity – not only for dependent drinkers but for “normal” drinkers – she wants to show people that you don’t HAVE to participate We agreed that there is no need to reach rock bottom – the smart people step off the slippery slope before it gets too difficult Benefits of sobriety for Sarah include more mental space together with a feeling of extra brain power – we always say that Sobriety is a Superpower and it sounds as if she experienced that! She used her increased energy and motivation to focus on

My guest this week is a Senior Scientist with the Canadian Institute for Substance Use Research at the University of Victoria in Canada. Professor Tim Stockwell is a man with a mission – to inform people about the link between alcohol and cancer. He has been working tirelessly towards this goal for years and has made himself very unpopular with the liquor industry in the process! The fact that alcohol is one of the top three causes of preventable cancer is not exactly a secret – but it may as well be as so few people seem to be aware of it. Even moderate amounts of alcohol can cause cancer and there is no safe amount. In this Episode We discussed the role of government when it comes to informing their citizens about the health risks of alcohol and agreed that governments should have some responsibility to inform and educate. Tim explained that the Canadian govt had done a good job during Covid EXCEPT when it came to alcohol policy – they actually deemed it an “essential item” and expanded its availability and even reduced the price in some areas. Here in South Africa our government went the opposite way and enforced several alcohol bans. These bans were implemented to clear the hospitals of alcohol related trauma patients so that Covid patients could be treated – and it worked! The alcohol ban in South Africa was like a massive social experiment, demonstrating the massive harm that alcohol does, both to individuals and to society. I wrote an article listing the mind blowing statistics from this unprecedented period in South African history – called What If Alcohol was Banned Tim explained that alcohol consumption in Canada is the highest its been for 20 years and that they are catching up with the UK and Europe. Canada has an alcohol deficit of $3.7 billion a year – this means that its costs the government $3.7 billion MORE (in healthcare costs etc) than it brings in from taxes. It’s been known for at least 35 years that alcohol was a number one carcinogen and we agreed that producers should be telling their consumers about the risks – so that at least we are making an informed choice when we drink. Scotland has successfully introduced minimum pricing (although the liquor industry fought it for 6 years!) and modelling demonstrates that this policy reduces hospitalisation and deaths. The official figures of alcohol related deaths throughout the world is R3M a year but Tim believes that these figures are more like 5 or 6M. The official figures dampened down by the outdated view that “moderate drinking” is good for our health. Tim maintains that the misinformation that moderate drinking can be good for you has been responsible for millions of deaths worldwide. We agreed the irony of the fact that alcohol kills far more people than Covid did – during Covid the whole world closed down yet nothing changes regarding alcohol… We wondered what impact it would have if we saw daily graphs on tv showing us deaths and hospitalisations from alcohol like we did for Covid! Although it’s a “hard sell” there ARE effective strategies that could be implemented regarding alcohol policy explained Tim – pricing and availability being two of them. Also focus groups have expressed the view that the absence of warning labels on alcohol conveys a powerful message that its ok.. Tim was featured in a Canadian documentary recently – in this documentary an oncologist was explaining that be bought a fishing rod which was covered in warning labels yet a carcinogenic liquid has none! We heard about a fascinating experiment in a Canadian Province where warning labels were introduced – quite striking labels with cancer warnings and the low risk guidelines. This experiment proved labelling worked as it reduced consumption by 7%! However it was halted when the liquor industry brought a legal action calling the labels “defamatory” (!) We discussed the futility of being told to “Drink Responsibly” and agreed that this was just the liquor industry putting the blame on the consumer rather than being transparent about the dangers of consuming their product. In spite of the struggles Tim does feel that there is hope – he feels that there is a “tide” of change and that alcohol may finally be having its “cigarette moment” We talked about citizens “rights” and of course people must have the right to drink alcohol but they also have the right to be informed of the dangers – just like we are with cigarettes… It took Scotland 6 years to get minimum pricing implemented but now other countries are introducing that policy. More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. 20% ANNUAL MEMBERSHIP DISCOUNT CODE ANN052022 – valid during May 2022 To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episod

This Sober Short series is taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone. These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today. Just go to tribesober.com/services and click on workshops During the first 14 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 14 Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to the final tool here is a quick recap… In this Episode Tool number 1 was “Get Connected” Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path. If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength” All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions. We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.” Tool number 4 was all about Mindset It was about changing your thinking – about drinking. We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day! We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one. “Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and… You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety. Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation. One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret? Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again? Tool number 6 – Information is Power It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us. Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information. If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email [email protected] – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going. Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable” When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing. WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us. So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email [email protected] and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers. Tool Number 8 - which is “Journaling” At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey. Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial. Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down. We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day. To learn more about the magic of journaling listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 98 to hear my interview with writer in recovery Melinda Ferguson – released on 26th March 2022 Tool No 9 – “Get a Project” It’s very common for people to feel

My guest today is a household name here in South Africa. After a successful career as a radio presenter Sam Cowen wrote a book called "From Whisky to Water" which documented her struggles with alcohol. Sam came close to killing herself, often driving home so drunk that when she woke the next morning, she had no idea how she got home, let alone what she had said and done the night before. She managed to ditch the drink but then became addicted to food, piling on 25kgs in her early sobriety. Her salvation was swimming – which is where she found serenity and training as a recovery coach has brought purpose into her life. In this Episode Sam didn’t drink at university but when she had her first whisky at the radio station where she worked she loved it – and felt like she had “come home”. Broadcasting was very male dominated and Sam struggled to connect – apart from when she was in the bar with her colleagues. She got a reputation for being able to “hold her drink” which she wore like a badge of honour. Over the years Sam had been producing or presenting radio shows and her voice was well known throughout South Africa. One day she did a tv appearance and was devastated to receive an email from a viewer saying “we thought you’d be really pretty” She hadn’t really thought much about her looks before but this nasty comment rocked her self confidence and exacerbated her drinking – after all it didn’t matter what she looked like when she was drinking. Her drinking escalated and she started doing things that were “not normal” – she would have to pull into a multi storey car park for a sleep as she knew she shouldn’t be driving. Sam talked of the “golden 15 minutes” of clarity before closing down in a blackout while she was driving. She told us about waking up and finding blood in her car – the result of taking an injured man to hospital during her blackout We discussed blackouts and the fact that they happen because the brain is so soaked in alcohol it can’t even make memories – it’s not that we have simply forgotten Sam got sober 20 years ago when AA was the only option. These days of course there are many alternative ways to get help, including tribesober.com She felt that the AA meetings were like “coming home” – the warmth and the support of the community enabling her to stop drinking. There is a quote in by CS Lewis in Sam’s book that summarises the connection we feel in the recovery community – “Friendship is born in the moment that one person looks at another and says – You too? I thought I was the only one” – the relief we feel when we realise we are not alone in this is deep. She read a lot of memoirs in early sobriety and the book by Caroline Knapp – "Drinking, a Love Story" made a great impression on her. I thought it was so interesting that Sam had been sober for 14 years but had still not found serenity. Her time at AA had left its mark and she felt that she had to keep “doing penance” or she might drink again.. Like many of us Sam experienced a “void” in early sobriety – that feeling of “now what?” She decided to fill the void with ice cream and put on 25kgs in process – then she became “invisible” due to her excess weight and actually enjoyed the fact that she was still “on air”, still being funny but could go unnoticed in public. Her excess weight was causing her a lot of joint pain. A doctor prescribed a whole list of meds to deal with the pain which made Sam decide she must lose the weight instead. She discovered swimming which was when she felt she had “come home” for the third time. If you are in early sobriety and dealing with the “void” then please have a listen to the Tribe Sober podcast episode 55 with Dr Loretta Breuning. Loretta explains that we need a project to keep our happy brain chemicals triggered Of course for Sam that project was swimming and she trained and took place in long distance swimming events – in freezing cold water which of course provides more health benefits! Training as a recovery coach enabled her to find her place in the world. She realised that she could help people and she’s been able to find her purpose. During the next 6 years she moved forwards and began to thrive in her sobriety and to finally find serenity. Sam did her training with David Collins at the Ubuntu Academy of Coaching. He is a renowned international coach and has been interviewed for this podcast so watch this space! She explained that recovery coaching is complementary – it’s not therapy and it’s not treatment but it will help people in early sobriety reconnect with themselves and figure out what they really want out of life. To learn more about Sam and her coaching go to samcowen.co.za and of course her book is essential reading if you are thinking about giving up drinking or in recovery It’s called From Whisky to Water and there is a link to it on her website. More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual T

SOBER SHORT 14 – Do the Work! This Sober Short series is taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just click here to find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone. These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today. Just go to tribesober.com/services and click on workshops During the first 13 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 13 Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 14 let’s do a quick recap… In this Episode Tool number 1 was “Get Connected” Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path. If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength” All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions. We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.” Tool number 4 was all about Mindset It was about changing your thinking – about drinking. We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day! We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one. “Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and… You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety. Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation. One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret? Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again? Tool number 6 – Information is Power It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us. Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information. If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email [email protected] – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going. Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable” When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing. WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us. So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email [email protected] and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers. Tool Number 8 - which is “Journaling” At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey. Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial. Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down. We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day. To learn more about the magic of journaling listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 98 to hear my interview with writer in recovery Melinda Ferguson – released on 26th March 2022 Tool No 9 – “Get a Project” It’s very common for people to f

Jeff Graham founded the Bac2Zero sobriety group. Like many of us in the recovery space Jeff’s initial sobriety goal was simply to quit drinking. As he recovered his health, energy and creativity he decided he wanted to help others to do the same. He describes sobriety as freedom – freedom from a world that was once filled with dread, regret and fear. Although his goal started out simply as one of abstinence, his life has since grown into a life filled with dreams, hope and happiness. In this Episode Jeff enjoyed his first beer at the age of 16 – it wasn’t so much the buzz he enjoyed as the status – he felt like he “fitted in”. Much as he enjoyed the social side of drinking he also discovered that he loved to drink alone – he would come home from a night out and have some drinks on his own – he felt like he needed some “Jeff time” as he put it Many of us are like this – and even in sobriety some of us can still get triggered when we get home from a social event – even when we were drinking AF drinks! I would work hard to behave myself at a social event and then down a bottle of wine when I got home! Jeff was into beer and from the age of 23 and was drinking a case of beer a day – of course his friends were all drinkers as well His parents were both alcoholics and that’s why he was drawn to beer rather than spirits – he thought it was “better” – but of course it’s all ethanol! He started hiding his beers in the garage – so his wife and kids had no idea how much he was drinking or quite how bad it had got Someone asked him recently if sobriety was “hard” – it made him reflect on just how “hard” it was to be a functioning alcoholic – how hard it was to hold everything together. He got to the point when he knew he would have to cut down but he couldn’t face it – so he just started hiding his drinks more effectively! We talked about the buzz and how us drinkers love to maintain the buzz – in fact recent research has shown that the buzz only lasts for 20 minutes and then we carry on drinking to top it up As Jeff explained after some beers he would not go back to “normal” – he would feel lower than normal and reach for the beer to compensate He was starting to drink earlier in the day but always telling himself that “tomorrow” would be different. Eventually he ran out of lies – admitted defeat and booked himself into rehab for a week He needed this stay in rehab to draw a line under his drinking and to make a statement to his friends and family that he wanted to make a change We find that many of the people who come to our workshops are able to make use of the tools and community to draw that line under their drinking habits and to make a change Jeff needed the accountability that came with rehab – he just couldn’t do this alone He didn’t actually learn much in rehab but he did a lot of self-reflection and of course met other people with the same problems When he was sharing his story he heard himself saying things that he hadn’t really registered before – that happens at our workshops – people get emotional when they share because they only realise just how unhappy alcohol has been making them when they tell their story out loud. Three months out of rehab he had a relapse – he wanted a reward, a last “hurrah” as he put it That did indicate that he still had work to do on his mindset – if we still see alcohol as a reward then it means it will always be hard to resist and we will suffer from FOMO Once we see alcohol for the addictive toxin it really is we will lose our desire for it which is the key to sustaining our sobriety After his relapse Jeff took his recovery more seriously – he started to listen more and began journaling to process his thoughts and emotions. He feels that it’s really important to get the negative thoughts on paper so then we can analyse them – it’s all part of being honest with ourselves. Of course when he stopped drinking he had to find other things to do – he learned that he couldn’t just wait until he had a craving and then find something else to do – he had to plan it in advance Jeff learned that he needed a schedule of activities and I think that’s great advice Try lots of different things and keep yourself busy until you find a routine that really works for you As he says it’s no good telling him to call someone if he gets a craving – it’s too late by then! Like myself he loves talking to people in recovery and getting new insights We talked about discovering purpose and the way we have both found more purpose in our lives from running sobriety groups – he set up Bac2Zero to inspire others on the journey Interviewing people for Bac2Zero keeps his schedule busy! He has some great analogies – sobriety is like a haunted house – scary to enter alone but can even be fun if you are with someone else! And the traffic lights! - sobriety is not a red traffic light! It’s a green light to freedom, health and happiness – yes there may be a while stopped at the amber light going through an adjustme

SOBER SHORT 13 – Know Your Triggers! This Sober Short series is taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone. These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today. Just go to tribesober.com/services and click on workshops During the first 12 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 12 Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 13 let’s do a quick recap… In this Episode Tool number 1 was “Get Connected” Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path. If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength” All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions. We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.” Tool number 4 was all about Mindset It was about changing your thinking – about drinking. We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day! We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one. “Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and… You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety. Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation. One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret? Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again? Tool number 6 – Information is Power It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us. Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information. If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email [email protected] – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going. Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable” When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing. WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us. So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email [email protected] and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers. Tool Number 8 - which is “Journaling” At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey. Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial. Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down. We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day. To learn more about the magic of journaling listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 98 to hear my interview with writer in recovery Melinda Ferguson – released on 26th March 2022 Tool No 9 – “Get a Projec

Unpickled with Jean McCarthy If you have been sober for a while and are ever tempted to drink just “one glass of wine” then it’s worth remembering this well known saying "You can change a cucumber into a pickle, but you can’t turn a pickle back into a cucumber” – in other words once we have crossed that line into alcohol dependence there is not going back – we must go forward and create a life we don’t want to escape from. My guest this week was obviously inspired by the pickle analogy as her blog is called “Unpickled” and I’m sure many of you have listened to her awesome podcast the “Bubble Hour” which has been going for almost a decade. I began by asking Jean to introduce herself In this Episode Jean was a teenage drinker, going to bars at 15 years old as she looked older She got married and had her children young – got into the mommyjuice culture Her drinking escalated throughout her 20’s and 30’s By the time she got to her 40’s her children were teenagers, her career was demanding and wine was her “off” button She went from one glass to two to a few – to opening a bottle the moment she got home from work Like many of us she would wake up and think “I won’t drink today but by lunchtime that thought was gone” Since her teenage years she had an inkling that alcohol was not doing her any favours but by her 30’s she was trying to make a change and setting “the rules” which of course she promptly broke She finally quit at 43 – which led us to discuss the Tempest Study - that the average time it takes people – “from realising they had a problem to actually quitting” was eleven years. One of the things that kept Jean stuck in her drinking was that she was labouring under the misconception that one had to reach “rock bottom” before making a change – a myth that keeps many from ditching the booze That myth kept Jean from going to AA – not only was she worried about being recognised but she also felt that she couldn’t fit – that she would be seen as a lightweight because she hadn’t lost everything So let’s take a moment to debunk the rock bottom fallacy – if your drinking is on your mind and you have a suspicion that you would be healthier and happier without it then just do it. No need to keep digging… There has never been a better time to give up drinking. There are many online sobriety groups like Tribe Sober, not to mention a plethora of alcohol free drinks. Go to tribesober.com and check us out if you’d like to meet other people who have decided to avoid rock bottom and ditch the booze before they get there! So Jean didn’t go to AA but she did confide in one friend and that made all the difference – she got empathy from that friend and it made her accountable. Sometimes just telling one person is all it takes – so if you’re stuck then that’s a great place to start and if you feel there is no one in your friendship circle who would understand than check out tribesober.com and join our international community To beat those early cravings Jean had a whole list of things to do when she felt a craving – for example she would eat an ice cream, or orange slices or take the dog around the block or drive to the store. Doing her grocery shopping in the evenings took some of the pressure of her schedule the next day. She started her unpickled blog – anonymously like Clare Pooley – and just like Claire she got responses and realised that she was not alone in this With the perspective of a decade of sobriety Jean is able to look back and see that for the first 2 years she was “white knuckling” it During those early years she stayed sober because she was ashamed of the possibility of relapse – that stopped her healing and also prevented her from experiencing the “fullness of recovery” as she puts it Jean was on this journey alone for the first two years and it was only when she discovered a sober community that her recovery really started – we often get people joining Tribe Sober who have been sober for a while but are feeling isolated and miserable because they feel lonely and don’t realise that recovery is about so much more than “not drinking” She went on a sober retreat and sat in a sharing circle for the first time – that’s when the magic of recovery started for Jean – she cried constantly during that retreat and came through the other side. We talked about the money we spend on beauty and anti ageing products when the best thing of all we can do for our health and our beauty as we get older is to ditch the booze Staying hydrated is so important for our skin – yet for every glass of wine we drink we lose the equivalent of four glasses of water Many of us feared that sobriety would mean a life of deprivation but as Jean says the reality is that is a life of abundance – and that is the joy of a sober community – you will meet people further down the line who can confirm that is the case! Jean explained that recovery helped her to stop doing things that weren’t serving her – which made me think about a discussion we had

SOBER SHORT 12 – Nurture Yourself I’m kicking off our Sober Short series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone. These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today. Just go to tribesober.com/services and click on workshops During the first 10 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 10 Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 11 let’s do a quick recap… In this Episode Tool number 1 was “Get Connected” Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path. If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength” All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions. We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.” Tool number 4 was all about Mindset It was about changing your thinking – about drinking. We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day! We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one. “Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and… You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety. Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation. One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret? Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again? Tool number 6 – Information is Power It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us. Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information. If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email [email protected] – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going. Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable” When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing. WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us. So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email [email protected] and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers. Tool Number 8 - which is “Journaling” At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey. Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial. Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down. We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day. To learn more about the magic of journaling listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 98 to hear my interview with writer in recovery Melinda Ferguson – released on 26th March 2022 Tool No 9 – “

Meditation and Your Sober Journey Here at Tribe Sober we encourage people to quit drinking and then to go on and learn to thrive in their alcohol free lives. We offer free coaching, hypnotherapy and an online yoga course and various therapies.. It’s important to experiment, to get back in touch with what you really like to do – it’s all about building a life that you don’t want to escape from. My guest this week is a meditation teacher in Australia who offers a course called “6 steps for not quite alcoholics” – he is offering to help people to change their relationship with alcohol from a different angle – he is suggesting that they meditate daily for a few weeks and then see how they feel about their drinking. Rory shares his own struggles with alcohol and explains that once he got into meditation he found that alcohol no longer fitted in with his healthy lifestyle… I began by asking Rory to introduce himself In this Episode After Uni Rory joined a band and then became a music journalist and going to free gigs/festivals were all part of the job All his relationships during his 20’s were built around drinking, partying and having a good time He moved to Australia at the age of 31 and became a “lifestyle journalist” – he was expecting this job to be less boozy than that of a music journalist but he was wrong He was sent to review a week long vodka festival in New Zealand and then was sent on a 3 day trip to Las Vegas to reviews bars and restaurants… Rory started to notice that his hangovers were getting more severe and that it was taking him longer to recover At his 35th birthday party he had what he calls an early midlife crisis – DJ’ing at a warehouse party he realised he was not enjoying himself – combination of drugs and alcohol was making him feel paranoid and he wasn’t even enjoying the music – he decided he just didn’t want to be living this kind of life at 45 He quit smoking and DJing the next day but carried on drinking – although he had an inkling that life might be better without it but he was nowhere near accepting that he must stop However he did start exercising – and being an “all or nothing” kind of person (like most of us drinkers) he was soon running marathons His running made him realise that he could access serotonin and endorphins which could change his consciousness without using chemicals. As he puts it so well – he was able to access the “infinite pharmacy within”! As Rory got fitter he started to explore different types of meditation and began to feel that there could be a light at the end of the tunnel He discovered Vedic meditation which is what he now teaches Meditation was reducing his triggers and his stress so he was drinking less but still going on binges Once he got healthier he realised that alcohol no longer fitted his lifestyle – his body was clean and he didn’t like the effect of booze Rory’s approach is - rather than say “Don’t Drink for 30 Days” he says “Meditate twice a day for 30 Days” and don’t think about alcohol so in other words focus on your meditation practice and you will gradually lose the desire to drink His turning point came 4 years after starting his meditation practice – he was teaching by then and just didn’t feel authentic drinking and teaching meditation so he quit I love his wise monkey analogy – when we wake up we have a credit of 3 wise monkeys – they get used up during the day and we need a crutch to keep us going – and that’s when the wine monkey comes out! So he advises topping up your wise monkeys (or adaptation energy) with a meditation practice in the evening – that will put your back in charge and keep the wine monkey away! Rory believes that we must focus on building various “systems” to sustain our sobriety – meditation is part of that system as is exercise, healthy eating and community support. The “systems” approach really helps because when he have a slip up the reaction should be “lets look at the system and maybe change something?” rather than “OMG I’m such a failure”! Another great analogy from Rory was the “tanker” analogy – if you change the direction of a huge ship then it’s going to take a while before it moves and heads off in the right direction – just as “if you’ve been drinking for decades and stop – it’s going to take a while to settle in to your sobriety and experience the benefits” Here at Tribe Sober we hear a some people say “I’m 3 months sober and don’t feel any benefits yet!” – but that’s the joy of community – people who have been sober for longer will pile in and say “hold on – it does get better!” etc.. Our members go on a 7 step program which helps them to explore what “systems” would work well for them – coaching, yoga, hypnotherapy and various types of therapy are all on offer so that people can sample them and see what works for them. Now that he is sober Rory has much more time and energy to do the things he wants to – he reflected back on how it was taking him a few days to recover from his drinking sessions –

SOBER SHORT 11 – Track Your Progress I’m kicking off our Sober Short series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone. These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today. Just go to tribesober.com/services and click on workshops During the first 10 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 10 Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 11 let’s do a quick recap… In this Episode Tool number 1 was “Get Connected” Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path. If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength” All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions. We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.” Tool number 4 was all about Mindset It was about changing your thinking – about drinking. We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day! We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one. “Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and… You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety. Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation. One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret? Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again? Tool number 6 – Information is Power It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us. Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information. If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email [email protected] – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going. Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable” When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing. WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us. So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email [email protected] and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers. Tool Number 8 - which is “Journaling” At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey. Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial. Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down. We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day. To learn more about the magic of journaling listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 98 to hear my interview with writer in recovery Melinda Ferguson – released on 26th March 2022 Tool No 9

When I started podcasting almost 2 years ago I wasn’t sure that I was going to be able to stick at it. Finding guests, interviewing guests and then editing the conversation was pretty time consuming. Then I read that 60% of podcasters give up after less than 10 episodes which seemed like a challenge! Through this podcast Tribe Sober has connected with people from all over the world and our membership is becoming more and more international! So next week we celebrate our 100th episode so a huge thank you to our listeners who have helped us to get this far! If you are new to the podcast then welcome – and if you’ve been with us from the start then thank you! In either case we’d love you to leave a review. So this week I’ve delved into our podcast download stats and highlighted the most popular podcasts – our top ten! In this Episode At 10th place with 1150 downloads is Episode number 72 (released in December 2021) – it’s called “Why We Need to Ditch the Drink in Mid Life” – my guest was Lori Massicot who has a podcast herself called “to 50 and beyond” – it’s a podcast aimed at women in mid-life where she highlights the beauty of aging and the freedom that comes along with alcohol free life. She on a mission to raise awareness towards the life changing impact of sobriety as we age and had me guesting on her podcast as an example of someone who ditched the drink later in life. You can find that on episode 182 of her podcast. At 9th place with 1192 downloads is Episode 67 (released in October 2021) we have an episode called “Rebranding Sobriety” with the fabulous Susan Christina. She’s on a mission to make alcohol free living as attractive and glamorous as we thought drinking was! Susan shares her own story of recovery and talks about the “drinking train” that many women board and pointed out that it was only travelling one way – the way of increasing dependence, rehab and for some people it’s unfortunately travelling to disease and death. At number 8 with 1206 downloads we have episode 81 (released January 2022) called “Take a Break” from the booze. We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober and every year we run our Sober Spring Challenge - and then another one in January. On this podcast we hear from 3 ladies who did Sober Spring 2021 - why did they sign up? what was it like? what tips do they have? If you are listening to this and decide you’d like to do a challenge then just go to tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. At number 7 with 1215 downloads was “Coping with Cravings” (released January 2021) - my interview with South African natural health expert Mary Ann Shearer. Both of her parents were alcoholics yet she became passionate about health and has published a bestselling book called The Natural Way. Mary Ann is a woman before her time and was advocating veganism thirty years ago! She advised people who have stopped drinking to satisfy their cravings by eating fresh fruit not chocolates or sweets Our bodies need glucose and eating fresh fruit satisfies the craving for alcohol – we offer this as standard advice in our community as many many people battle with those cravings for sweets when they stop drinking. Mary Ann explained the damage that alcohol does to our endocrine system - and how it makes menopause much worse At number 6 with 1279 downloads was Neuroscientist Staci Danfield – released in August 2021 that episode is called “Is you Lizard Brain the Boss?” She explained that our brain tricks us into thinking that alcohol is making us happy but in fact it is a depressant – if you’ve been drinking for years then the alcohol will have altered the balance of your brain which is why you become increasingly dependent. When we understand how our brains work we can work with it – and that’s when the magic will happen – a great analogy is to think of how we use our computers – we work with programs that are installed in our computers – not against them! Understanding our brains means that we can understand ourselves better and see what we are gaining by ditching the drink – we need to create a “pattern interruptor” At number 5 we have episode 66 with 1318 downloads (released in October 2021) - “Anxiety and Alcohol” was the topic and my guest was Casey McGuire Davidson. Casey went to doctors and therapists about her anxiety and insomnia – most of which was caused by alcohol but she was in denial about her drinking and just didn’t CONNECT THE DOTS Like many of us Casey started making rules – in fact Casey and I had a whole conversation about the rules we used to make that you can find on her podcast (Hello Someday – episode 77 ) The reason we make these rules of course is that we are still trying to moderate as we can’t imagine our life without it – having to give up completely is our worst nightmare – whereas with hindsight both Casey and myself can say that giving up completely was the best thing we ever did! She eventually hired a Sober

SOBER SHORT 10 – Be Prepared! I’m kicking off our Sober Short series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone. These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today. Just go to tribesober.com/services and click on workshops During the first 9 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 9 Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 10 let’s do a quick recap… In this Episode Tool number 1 was “Get Connected” Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path. If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength” All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions. We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.” Tool number 4 was all about Mindset It was about changing your thinking – about drinking. We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day! We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one. “Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and… You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety. Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation. One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret? Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again? Tool number 6 – Information is Power It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us. Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information. If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email [email protected] – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going. Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable” When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing. WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us. So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email [email protected] and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers. Tool Number 8 - which is “Journaling” At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey. Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial. Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down. We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day. To learn more about the magic of journaling listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 98 to hear my interview with writer in recovery Melinda Ferguson – released on 26th March 2022 Tool No 9 – “Get a

Smacked, Hooked and Crashed with Melinda Ferguson My guest this week has an extraordinary story of recovery to share - she’s gone from a homeless heroin addict living on the streets of Joburg to a highly respected public figure here in SA. Melinda Ferguson is an award-winning South African journalist and author of bestselling memoirs Smacked, Hooked and Crashed. She is also a publisher and runs writing courses to help people find their voice. In this Episode Growing up in an alcoholic household Melinda took to booze at an early age – describing it as a “piece of heaven” As she got older she rejected alcohol as she hated to see her mother drinking so turned towards hard drugs, taking her first hit of heroin at the age of 24. As a film maker she managed to stay relatively functional for a couple of years – she always had it in mind that she would be able to stop whenever she wanted to I think a lot of us drinkers are like that – thinking we could stop anytime, its only when we actually try to quit or even to cut down that we realise we have become dependent When she became pregnant Melinda realized that she was hooked and couldn’t stop – continuing to use throughout her two pregnancies – always planning to stop “tomorrow” but of course tomorrow never came Her two babies were taken away from her but even then she couldn’t stop using Rock bottom came for Melinda when she found herself living on the streets as an addict. Her family removed her from that situation and moved her to a “homeless farm” which happened to be full of alcoholics – so that’s when alcohol re-appeared in her life. When she was discovered drinking and smoking dagga she was asked to leave – this was a real wake up call – about to be made homeless from a farm for the homeless was her “desperation awakening” as she calls it She finally accepted that she had a problem and would have to stop using drugs The only place she had to go was back “home” with her mom – where she had to cope with alcohol in the house and seeing her mom and stepdad drinking every evening. At this point in her life she had no money, no car, no decent clothes but she did have AA/NA meeting to go to every night which kept her on track At these meetings she “surrendered” – finally acknowledging that she needed help – something that we agreed was the hardest thing of all. Melinda had got to the stage when “enough is enough” – I also remember getting to that stage where I thought “I can’t do this any more” That’s not a bad think and makes me think of a quote from JK Rowling “my rock bottom became the foundation for the rest of my life” With hindsight she can see that her surrender was actually her strength – not her weakness Year 1 of her recovery was extremely difficult – just a matter of getting through each day until her evening AA/NA meeting – she felt very depressed and was barely functional After 2 years in recovery she sensed what she calls an awakening of the spirit and by 5 years she was reconnecting with herself and getting results We talked about the length of time people spend “in recovery” and agreed that we have to be patient – it also varies a lot – someone with a drinking problem who was able to hold down a job and a relationship is likely to recover more quickly than someone who has hit rock bottom due to hard drugs – all depends on how much you have “messed up” as Melinda put it! Have a listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 61 (released in September 2021) – I’m talking to rehab doctor Dr Dawn who explains that in the rehabs they have a rule of thumb that it takes a month of recovery for every year that we’ve been using.. Realising that she was in it for the long haul helped Melinda and she stopped being so hard on herself, she stopped comparing herself with others and began to internalize and feel good about her achievements, however small they seemed. After getting clean Melinda moved in with a very heavy drinker – said it felt “normal” – she believes that whatever trauma we suffer as a child we become programmed to find that “normal” when we are adults – and of course she grew up with an alcoholic mom, so living with a drinker felt like “home” She believes that many alcoholics come from alcoholic families but also believes that we can change the pattern - as she has with her sons who are in their early 20’s and don’t drink We talked about her writing – Melinda always wrote during her recovery and her first book Smacked was an accumulation of those writings. The success of Smacked took her out of feeling like a failure and gave her back her pride – she realized that she could learn to love herself She took us through the themes of each of her 3 books – Smacked, Hooked and Crashed – do get hold of them, I promise you will love them Melinda is such a talented writer and I love the way she describes journaling as “meeting yourself on the page” – this is exactly what we need to be doing to process our emotions as we go through recovery – like her I believe it’s o

Tribe Sober – Inspiring an Alcohol-free Life! SOBER SHORT 9 – Find a Project! I’m kicking off our Sober Short series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone. These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today. Next Workshop is on 27th March – morning for US people and afternoon/early evening for UK, Europe and South Africa During the first 8 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number let’s do a quick recap… In this Episode Tool number 1 was “Get Connected” Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path. If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength” All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions. We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.” Tool number 4 was all about Mindset It was about changing your thinking – about drinking. We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day! We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one. “Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and… You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety. Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation. One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret? Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again? Tool number 6 – Information is Power It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us. Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information. If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email [email protected] – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going. Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable” When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing. WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us. So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email [email protected] and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers. Last week looked at TOOL Number 8 - which is “Journaling” At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey. Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial. We recommended listing your Why’s (why do you want to quit drinking) in the front of the journal and your blacklist (everything that went wrong when you drank) in the back Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down. We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will

Sober Spring begins the day after this podcast is released so I wanted to share the story of one of our members from Germany. He signed up for our very first Sober Spring back in 2018 – and he hasn’t had a drink since! We already have people from all over the world signed up for Sober Spring 2022 - 66 alcohol free days with online, community and audio support – start date March 20th. More info HERE. In this Episode Kai was only planning to do a challenge as he was not particularly worried about his drinking – he just loved challenges ;-) He’s a great example of someone who did the challenge with an open mind and gradually came to the conclusion that alcohol was adding nothing to his life! He read about Tribe Sober in a flight magazine when he was on holiday in South Africa – he took a photo on his phone and although he didn’t act on it for another couple of years the seed was sewn. That’s often all it takes – I say to people when they come to our workshops – “you may not ditch the booze immediately but you will never see it in the same way again” ;-) Kai was very engaged in the Sober Spring chatroom and he noticed that many people were really struggling. That was a bit of an eye opener for him – he wasn’t struggling at all but he realized that he never wanted to get to that stage He also noticed that some people in the chatroom were saying how great they felt without the booze and that they may give up for good – that surprised him as he had never thought of doing that! Kai’s children played a big part in his journey – his son told him that he hated it when his breath smelt of alcohol and his daughter told him that he “laughed too loud” when he drank. These comments by his children shocked him – and played a big role in his decision to quit permanently. These days he is a great role model for his kids. When he got to 66 days he immediately set his next milestone – 100 days. Then his daughter challenged him to do a year – and now he is four years sober! Setting mini goals and doing it “step by step” is much more manageable than saying “I am giving up drinking forever” – avoid the F word as it’s too overwhelming. At the end of our workshops we suggest people try 66 days of sobriety - we never suggest they stop "forever" Kai enjoyed his journey to sobriety and experienced some significant benefits – he’s an influencer in the business community, a role model for his kids – and enjoys being an “anthropologist” when he is out with people who are drinking. He also loved the way it has simplified his life – no more counting the glasses he drinks – he just doesn’t drink. His sleep and his skin has improved, he feels happy and full of energy! More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Tribe Sober – Inspiring an Alcohol-free Life! SOBER SHORT 8 – Keep a Journal! Our Sober Short series takes you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to this link and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone. These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today. During the first 7 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 7 Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 8 let’s do a quick recap… In this Episode Tool number 1 was “Get Connected” Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path. If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength” All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions. We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.” Tool number 4 was all about Mindset It was about changing your thinking – about drinking. We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day! We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one. “Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and… You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety. Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation. One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret? Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again? Tool number 6 – Information is Power It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us. Even if you decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information. If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email [email protected] – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going. Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable” Many people try (and fail) to give up drinking on their own – I should know as I was one of them. Most of us are surrounded by people who are “normal” drinkers and just tell us to “drink less” or heavy drinkers who assure us I was “fine” and that “everyone drinks a bottle of wine a night”. Even if they really care about us, those people don’t really care if we are struggling. When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing. WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us. So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email [email protected] and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers. So today we are going to TOOL Number 8 - which is “Journaling” A quick google search on the “benefits of journaling” will highlight the many advantages of keeping a daily journal – and keeping a journal during your recovery journal is even more valuable. At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey. Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial. In the front of the journal,

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is one of our loyal Tribe Members – John Rishworth is from Canada and has just celebrated 8 months of sobriety. After drinking heavily for years John got some counselling to help him come to terms that he would have to make some changes but as he says it was joining the tribe that gave him the connection and support that he needed to put these changes into practice. In this episode John was in sales and marketing and describes the work hard/play hard culture which prevailed – I think many of us have worked in corporates that have encouraged long hours compensated by drinking sessions sponsored by the company. He was surrounded by heavy drinkers and used to suffer colossal hangovers. He talked us through one of his Friday night drinking sessions which could easily escalate into 20 units – a lot when you think that the low risk limits are just 14 units – a week! He always would have described himself as highly functional but looking back he realises that he was not operating at full capacity. As we always say even if alcohol doesn’t destroy you it will prevent you from reaching your potential. The sad thing is that when we are drinking we get used to feeling below par – we always feel tired in the mornings (due to poor quality sleep) – I used to think it was all part of getting older – but now that I am older and alcohol free I realise it was the alcohol that was wearing me out! That’s why so many of us get quite evangelical about sobriety – its been years since we’ve felt so happy, healthy and energetic! When John realised that the only thing that would alleviate his all day hangover was a drink he began to realise that he needed to make some changes. But the real clincher was a hospital stay which involved some liver tests resulting in medical advice to give up drinking completely John was distraught after hearing this advice and I think many of us can identify with that feeling he experienced on the hospital gurney – that feeling of life being over if we can’t drink… That’s an indication of the stunning job that the alcohol industry has done to convince us that we need their toxic product to enjoy our lives! And that’s why it does take “work” to reverse these limiting beliefs – which is exactly what we help people to do at our regular Zoom workshops (go to ts.com – services for more info) After his hospital scare John did stay off the booze for a few months but then the doctor told him that his tests results had improved so he could have the odd glass of wine – so John had to learn the hard way that he had already crossed the line with his drinking and there would be no going back… On Fathers Day 2021 John decided that he was going to stop drinking – and that he would find a way to do it – and shortly after that he found tribe sober. The biggest step of all is to accept that you are alcohol dependent and then to reach out to get some help – then the HOW will get clearer.. Many people eventually get to that stage when they know that they are “done” with alcohol – they are sick and tired of being sick and tired – if you feel that way then don’t despair because it’s a good thing – now you just need to find the HOW. – you need to find other people on the same path John explained that when people are struggling with alcohol they tend to isolate – I think this is because society expects everyone to be able to drink “normally” which means that the 20% of social drinkers who do become dependent feel that there is something wrong with them! Women especially have to walk a kind of tightrope – if we don’t drink we are “boring” but if we get drunk that’s not cool either! That’s why a sober community helps so much – we meet other people who are struggling (so we can ditch the shame – its not just us!) and we can meet people who have ditched the drink and are enjoying their lives. Whereas most of us tend to mix with “normal” drinkers who can take it or leave it or heavy drinkers who will assure us that we are fine! John explained that being in the tribe connected him with like minded people and gave him a place to go where he could share his ups and downs and hear about tools that could help him. Helpful tools for John have been quitlit and podcasts as well as the Alcohol Free drinks. John made a conscious effort that he would still drink in bars with his friends and still be fun even though he’d be drinking alcohol free. John is a natural extrovert so this was not too difficult but for some of us we may need to “fake it until we make it” but it will get easier with time. We heard about his first Sober wedding when he experienced some mental anguish beforehand - (would he or wouldn’t he drink on this occasion?) – this was an issue he raised at one of our Zoom Cafes – eventually he make up his mind that he would NOT drink at the wedding and he would find a way to manage however hard it was. This is important - if we go to an event thinking that we will deci

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our seventh "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for so many people - if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode During the first 6 Sober Shorts we looked at the first 6 Tools in our toolbox Tool 1 was CONNECTION “Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path – So if you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership Tool 2 was “GET MOVING” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was all about:- Tool 3 was "BUILD YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH" All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says or as Glennon Doyle says:- “First the Pain, then the Rising” Tool number 4 was all about:- Tool 4 was MINDSET About changing your thinking – about drinking The global alcohol industry spends trillions on marketing every year to convince us that we need their product.. The wine industry in particular has done a stunning job marketing to us ladies during the last 2 decades– Many women now believe that drinking wine is essential for a full and happy life. We have to de-program ourselves — a nice analogy is to think of our subconscious mind as a computer — we need to reboot and load some new software. Tool 5 was "VISUALISATION" 3 visualisation tools:- If you get a craving in the evening then just accept it’s the “wine witch” but she can no longer control you. Grab an AF drink or go out for a walk… Play the movie forward – if you get the urge to drink then just think it through – do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – again and again Visualise those 2 paths – the first six months of sobriety are tough so you need to work hard to stay on track – you have to move from a place of instant gratification to a place where you can focus on long term – and life changing goals… Tool 6 – INFORMATION IS POWER! If we want to take back our power then we must educate ourselves about the harm alcohol can do The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. You need to treat it as a research project. Begin your journey by reading the Naked Mind by Annie Grace who will show you just how the alcohol marketing industry creates the powerful limiting beliefs that we hold in our subconscious. There are so many books relating to alcohol and sobriety these days that there is a whole category called QuitLit these days… If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email [email protected] Check out the rest of the Tribe Sober podcast episodes for recovery stories and expert advice. TOOL 7 – BE ACCOUNTABLE As we say in our battleplan you need to set Anchor Points for this journey – just as a sailing boat might drift off its course make sure you are taking specific actions to staying accountable and on track… An annual tracker is an essential tool – colour in each day as an alcohol free day in the morning to set the intention… keep our eye on the big picture – even if you do have a slip up just mark it on your tracker and get right back on the sober bus the next day.. Another way to stay accountable is to write blog and put it out there – I started blogging the day that I stopped drinking and connected with others on the same journey – that blog was called WWW and eventually become Tribe Sober An important anchor point is to be connected to a community where you can “check in” – if you are doing well you will get some great feedback and if you are struggling then you will get some advice and encouragement.. At TS we offer daily opportunities to check in – whether it’s on Slack Chat or WhatsApp or our daily Zoom Chats there is a community wanting to know how you are doing and that makes all the difference… If you are really struggling and need extra 1.2.1 support then we can team you up with a Sober Buddy who is simply a member of our community who has been sober for a while and is offering 1.2.1 support.. Even if you are six months or more into your sober journey look out for FAB (fading affect bias) as William Porter describes in his book Alcohol ex

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest today has an inspirational story of recovery. After a difficult start in life and a decade of drug taking Nikki began her recovery journey. Her childhood was traumatic and Nikki turned to drugs at an early age. In spite of her efforts to develop a career in dance and drama her addiction deepened during her 20's. She checked into her first rehab in her late 20’s and began the long journey to recovery – a journey that would lead her to discover her purpose in life. In this episode Nikkis childhood was not an easy one – her parents drank and they also moved around the country a lot, which resulted in her changing schools 7 times. Unsurprisingly she felt like an outsider and struggled to fit in – never feeling comfortable in her own skin as she put it She was certainly an early starter and tasted her first beer at the age of 9 and at 13 she was drinking and smoking marijuana. Due to her parents drinking habits Nikki felt more of a pull towards hard drugs – and at the age of 16 her boyfriend introduced her to Mandrax and Crack Cocaine. With her current knowledge of addiction Nikki is able to trace her substance abuse back to her childhood trauma – as she puts it “her addiction started long before she picked up a drug” Many of you will be familiar with the work of Dr Gabor Mate who has done extensive research into childhood trauma and the link with addiction – he says Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to feel, to grow and to develop. It pains you and now you’re acting out of pain. Nikki also understands that she was using drugs as a coping mechanism as she was unable to regulate her emotions. Her search for belonging began in earnest at the age of 17 when she left school – she rebelled against anything structured as her education had left her feeling like a failure She studied dance and drama and got involved in the club scene where she felt a sense of belonging for the first time. She was organising trance parties, making good money and everybody loved her. Now and again Nikki would try to get a regular job but it never worked out and just confirmed her belief that she didn’t fit into the “normal” world. At the age of 28 she got pregnant and knew that this would have to be her turning point – however motherhood caused her to feel a lot of guilt and shame and in fact she stepped up her drug use to cope. When her son was 1 Nikki lost custody which reaffirmed her feelings of inadequacy. This proved to be her rock bottom which was a catalyst for her long road to recovery – starting with her first rehab – at this first rehab she just felt very angry and it would take several years and 5 more rehabs until she finally came into recovery We agreed that rehab was pointless if you were not ready – being “sent” to rehab does not work and too much rehab results in being institutionalised – never being able to function in the outside world. Six months into her final rehab which was a one year program Nikki had what she describes as a spiritual awakening – a feeling that the years of hell she had been through had given her a purpose. She already had all the tools from her various rehab stays but finally began to select the tools that she felt were right for her – we agreed that we all have to “do the work” but of course our work will vary depending on our background. She regained custody of her son and leaned into the role of being a mother Nikki also began to developing her career as a recovery coach by working with David Collins, the founder of Ubuntu Addiction Community. I interviewed David for the podcast a couple of weeks ago so watch this space to learn more about his work. Nikki is a recovery coach herself and these days she is trains other coaches and is involved in the amazing Pocket Rehab initiative. We agreed that rehab is one thing but coping with the outside world is a very individual journey – and it is our job as coaches to “meet you where you are at” You can find out more and connect with Nikki on her Facebook page Nikki Edwards Recovery Coaching or on her website which is nikkiedwards.com Tribe Sober's Spring Challenge starts on 20th March 66 alcohol free days – supported by daily emails and 66 mini podcasts It's great fun as we put everyone on the Sober Spring Bus on Day one and they all travel through the 66 alcohol free days together – its always a great vibe on that bus as everyone encourages and supports each other – so don’t miss the bus Sign up today – just go to tribesober.com and click on Sober Spring 2022 If you’d like copy of our PDF “Sobriety Battleplan” – packed full of trackers and charts to get you started and keep you on track just email [email protected] More info For an affordable monthly subscription you can join Tribe Sober - read about the benefits of membership and sign up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or o

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our sixth "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for so many people - if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode During the first 5 Sober Shorts we looked at the first 5 Tools in our toolbox Tool 1 was CONNECTION “Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path – So if you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership Tool 2 was “GET MOVING” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was all about:- Tool 3 was "BUILD YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH" All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says or as Glennon Doyle says:- “First the Pain, then the Rising” Tool number 4 was all about:- Tool 4 was MINDSET About changing your thinking – about drinking The global alcohol industry spends trillions on marketing every year to convince us that we need their product.. The wine industry in particular has done a stunning job marketing to us ladies during the last 2 decades– Many women now believe that drinking wine is essential for a full and happy life. We have to de-program ourselves — a nice analogy is to think of our subconscious mind as a computer — we need to reboot and load some new software. Tool 5 was "VISUALISATION" 3 visualisation tools:- If you get a craving in the evening then just accept it’s the “wine witch” but she can no longer control you. Grab an AF drink or go out for a walk… Play the movie forward – if you get the urge to drink then just think it through – do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – again and again Visualise those 2 paths – the first six months of sobriety are tough so you need to work hard to stay on track – you have to move from a place of instant gratification to a place where you can focus on long term – and life changing goals… Today it’s time for Tool number 6 – INFORMATION IS POWER! Along long time ago when I was in my 20’s – I smoked – most of my friends smoked – we could smoke in our offices and of course in the bars and clubs where we socialised… It’s hard to believe these days but we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us – you could even see ads with doctors endorsing various cigarette brands… Then came the gamechanger when cigarette advertising was banned from tv adverts and the government committed to banning all advertising saying:- “Smoking is the greatest single cause of preventable illness and premature death in the UK. We will therefore ban tobacco advertising.” Everything started to change…. Once they could no longer rely on the revenue from cigarette advertising the media started reporting that smoking was linked to lung cancer. That’s when millions of people (including me) gave up – yes we liked smoking but we certainly didn’t intend to die a horrible death because of it! So here we are decades later and alcohol seems to be where smoking used to be. Completely normalised and endlessly glamorised as trillions of dollars are spent convincing us that we need alcohol to lead a full and happy life. Yet the stats show us that globally 3M people a year die of alcohol related causes – pretty much in line with the Covid death toll. The whole world closed down when Covid hit but the liquor marketing machine just continues pumping out its misinformation year.after.year. So to counteract this deluge of advertising and of course the powerful peer pressure that comes with it we need to take personal responsibility.. If we want to take back our power then we must educate ourselves about the harm alcohol can do The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. That’s a good place to start.. Going back to the cigarette analogy a recent article informed us that from a health perspective drinking a bottle of wine an evening was equal to smoking 10 cigarettes.. So if you really want to get – and stay - alcohol free then you need to throw the book at this thing. You need to treat it as a research project. Begin your journey by reading the Naked Mind by Annie Grace who will show you jus

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest today is a familiar name to many South Africans. Gabi Lowe came into the public eye back in 2015 as she fought for her daughters life. Gabi has written a book about this extraordinary period – a book called “Get Me to 21” which was the name of a campaign led by her daughter Jenna as she invited the public to become organ donors and attend her 21st birthday party. Tragically Jenna died before reaching this milestone. This is a story full of pain – but also full of courage. The courage of Gabi, her husband and daughter Kristi – and of course Jenna herself. It’s also a story of resilience – Gabi explains how she has managed to survive a parents worst nightmare and rebuild her life. A life full of purpose which lives alongside the aching loss of her beautiful daughter. In this episode As she took us through the heartbreaking development of Jenna's illness we discussed the moment when Gabi felt her role shift from that of a hopeless observer who just wanted to cry – to that of a Momcologist who was determined to fight on her daughter's behalf – she discovered the lioness inside. A lioness which kept fighting with Jenna all the way – and then re-emerged during that terrifying beach attack 3 years later. Gabi found it very humbling to ask for help and talked of how activating their first fundraiser left her in tears. But then it led her to reflect on the “virtuous circle” as she discovered that:- Everyone was desperate to find a way to help and they were grateful to be able to do something She learned how to “receive” which led a the virtuous circle of giving and receiving, giving and receiving As she realised that everything they were doing for Jen helped others as well – one of the legacies of Jen’s fight is a clinic in a public hospital here in Cape Town Gabi explained that in spite of Jen's campaign dramatically increasing the number of organ donations SA is still in dire need (ironic that only 2% of the population are organ donors when we think of Cape Town as being the home of the first ever heart transplant) SA has an opt in organ donation program whereas in some countries everyone is born an organ donor and they have to opt out – many more lives are saved in those countries with an opt out policy so Gabi continues to fight for a change in SA legislation. Pulmonary Hypertension often goes undiagnosed and in fact Jenna was diagnosed as having asmtha during the first six months of her illness. Gabi stressed that breathlessness is a symptom that must be taken seriously. I asked Gabi if she used alcohol during this period but she explained that her Momcologist duties were so complex that she had to be on top of her game 24/7 so could not risk it. Her coping mechanisms were walking in nature, meditation and yoga. She talked about the listening meditation that the whole family did every couple of weeks – simply expressing how they were (or were not) coping with Jenna's illness – Jenna herself was part of these sessions. This made me reflect on the shares that we do at the beginning of our workshops – everybody introduces themselves and talks about their relationship with alcohol. Nobody comments so it truly is a listening meditation and it often strikes me that sometimes this is the first time that some people have expressed their feelings about alcohol out loud – its always an emotional session but it's also very bonding as people realise they are not alone in this Gabi and I agreed that the deep listening has an effect of the quality of the conversation – which is the essence of coaching. A few months after Jenna's death Gabi was in a dark place – a friend took her off to a silent retreat – where she cried (silently and not so silently) for much of the time – but every day she would go to a place in the grounds where she would observe a weaver building his nest. She watched him complete his nest and it occurred to her that (although she didn’t feel like it) she would have to eventually rebuild her own nest. Apparently weavers build several nests in their lifetime which of course got us thinking about the fact that we may need to rebuild our lives after trauma or at certain periods in our life (the empty nest syndrome of course!) – we can’t cling on to the old life This got me thinking about Hudsons “cycle of renewal” which we often use in coaching – your life may be going quite well for a few years and then a curved ball will come along – Covid has been a curved ball for most of us! Hudson maintains that at certain periods in our life we will find ourselves "In the Doldrums" – depressed, stuck, uninspired and powerless – when we know we are drinking too much but have no idea how to make a change – we are in the doldrums "Cocooning" is the next stage – when we start to connect with our inner strengths – being curious and educating ourselves via podcasts and quitlit is a form of cocooning "Getting Ready" is the next stage where we prepare for the transition b

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our fifth "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for so many people - if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode During the first 4 Sober Shorts we looked at the first 3 Tools in our toolbox Tool 1 was CONNECTION “Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path – So if you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership Tool 2 was “GET MOVING” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was all about:- Tool 3 was "BUILD YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH" All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says or as Glennon Doyle says:- “First the Pain, then the Rising” Tool number 4 was all about:- Tool 4 was MINDSET About changing your thinking – about drinking The global alcohol industry spends trillions on marketing every year to convince us that we need their product.. The wine industry in particular has done a stunning job marketing to us ladies during the last 2 decades– Many women now believe that drinking wine is essential for a full and happy life. We have to de-program ourselves — a nice analogy is to think of our subconscious mind as a computer — we need to reboot and load some new software. Today's Sober Short is about "Visualisation" Visualisation is SO powerful – just think of the wine witch - introduced to us to in her book Sober Diaries The liquor industry have been marketing their product to us for decades by showing us beautiful images of attractive women holding their wine glass and looking happy That’s why associating wine with an old hag is so powerful – and not just at the beginning but as we progress in our sobriety we often hear our members telling us that the wine witches voice is getting fainter and fainter and some evenings she doesn’t show up at all! We’ve even introduced a new character to our tribe recently – she’s called Moderation Mary – we’ve not managed to draw her yet but you can be sure she will not be a pretty sight.. Don’t let Moderation Mary break your heart we say… Don’t waste your time hanging out with Moderation Mary After all once we’ve crossed a line with our drinking there is no going back – we need to quit and then learn to enjoy our alcohol free life Another tool which is about visualisation which works well for many is to “play the movie” forward… Finally one of the visualisation tools I use for coaching is called the two paths:- If you keep drinking – one thing you can be sure of is that you will not be drinking less – it just doesn’t work like that – you’ll be drinking at least a bottle of wine if not more.. that’s 7 bottles of wine a week when the low risk limits is one and a half.. – putting your mental and physical health at risk. Apart from that your life will feel pretty much the same – if we are sapping our energy and motivation with alcohol night after night then its unlikely we’ll decide to make any significant changes – you will just stay stuck.. If you stop – you probably cannot even imagine it, you have no idea what your life would be like without alcohol in it. After helping hundreds of people to ditch the booze I can give you a rough idea…. The first 6 months will be tough, as you change your habits and “do the work” – and then life will just get better and better. You will feel better, you will look better and you will have the energy to make major life changes if you need to. So there you go – 3 ways to use visualisation - the wine witch, play the movie forward and the two paths So that’s our Sober Short for today – 3 Visualisation Tools If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me [email protected] And don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – its full of recovery stories and expert advice– its called Tribe Sober and it comes out every Saturday morning. More info Join Tribe Sober and learn how to quit drinking and go on to thrive in your alcohol free life - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest today is Peggi Cooney. She’s a retired social worker with 16 years of field experience and these days she trains other social workers to cope with the many challenges of their work. She has written a personal memoir about her own struggles with alcohol a has become a sobriety advocate. One of the things that shines out from that book is her love and appreciation of the Recovery Community and the support we all give each other. She leads a community group on Facebook also called This Side of Alcohol structured to encourage daily conversation, insight, and support around alcohol recovery. In this episode Like many of us Peggi used various tricks to disguise the fact that she was drinking too much. She talks of an award ceremony where she pre-drank and after-drank but at the event people saw her with just one glass of wine. Of course she used “the rules” – trying to drink moderately or only at the weekend - and of course she failed to keep to her own rules. At one point Peggi was hiding wine bottles in her boots in her wardrobe – she really struggled to recognise herself in those moments… She had lots of stomach problems and always felt below par when she was drinking – its only now that she feels SO much better that she has joined up the dots and realised that her alcohol consumption was responsible for that feeling. Peggi had a “rock bottom” on the day that she was arguing with her husband about her drinking – and her children and grandchildren walked in on them having a furious argument. After that event she realised that she was “done” drinking. Once she had made up her mind to stop she “threw the book at it” – she read all the quitlit and joined Sober Sis to do their 21 day reset. She describes being in a small condo with lots of people when they were doing a lot of drinking including tequila shots – she had known it might turn out like that so she had booked a hotel room nearby and was able to slip out. That makes me think of one of our survival tips for socialising – always have an escape plan – what will you do if things get difficult – Peggis plan was a great one but if you are not too far from home you can just get in your car and drive. If the people you’ve left are busy drinking they may not even notice you’ve slipped out early! Peggi knew that she was not physically addicted – her addiction was psychological. If you have a listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 48 you will hear Molly Watts explaining that only 10% of us are physically addicted to alcohol. It’s still important to get medical advice if you are drinking more than 14 units a day but for many of us the “work” is around breaking deeply entrenched habits Although Peggi GOT sober as a result of an ultimatum from her husband and daughter she STAYED sober because of how good it made her feel - that reminds me of a story from Soberpunk Jon Turner on Tribe Sober episode 68 We agreed that Covid has been a gift for many drinkers in early sobriety as it had allowed them to opt out of socialising while they built up their sober strength. Yet for others who were already drinking too much and hadn’t made any changes Covid had proved to be their nemesis – and resulted in a deeper level of dependence. Peggi and I are both “ladies of a certain age” as the French so elegantly put and we agreed that ditching the booze is absolutely the best thing you can do for your health and your happiness as you get older. Like me Peggi is enamoured by the recovery community and we both agreed that without the support of community its extremely hard to change our drinking habits. The great thing is that there are so many choices these days – there will be a sobriety group to suit everybody – whereas it used to be just AA. She talked about “the switch” when she went from thinking “I can never drink again” (which comes from a place of deprivation to “I can drink whenever I want but I just don’t want to” which comes from a place of freedom. For me that the difference between willpower “I can never drink again” and mindset “I don’t want to drink” Peggi feels as if she has got an extra third of her day back – the extra time is great. I think this is one of the benefits of sobriety we don’t think about until it happens – when we are planning the drinking, doing the drinking and recovering from the drinking – that takes up a lot of time that we could be spending on more constructive things. She comes across many women who keep their drinking problem a secret but for her she knew she had to “live it out loud” – she knew she had to be accountable and “not leave any doors open Peggi talked about the deep connection that comes with the sober friendships we make in recovery and how much fun she had with a group of sober women she’d never met before She feels so much smarter now – as she puts it she can “figure shit out” rather than just have a drink and try not to think about it -ironic that we drink to cope with our stress b

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our fourth "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for so many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode During the first 3 Sober Shorts we looked at the first 3 Tools in our toolbox Tool one was of course CONNECTION “Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path – So if you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get! Tool number 3 was all about:- BUILDING YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says or as Glennon Doyle says:- “First the Pain, then the Rising” Todays tip from our Toolbox is all about MINDSET It’s about changing your thinking – about drinking The global alcohol industry spends trillions on marketing every year to convince us that we need their product.. The wine industry in particular has done a stunning job marketing to us ladies during the last 2 decades– Many women now believe that drinking wine is essential for a full and happy life. Add to that the fact that alcohol has become so normalized in our society that if you don’t drink you are considered a bit strange — alcohol really has become the only drug we have to justify not taking! Somehow we have to de-program ourselves — a nice analogy is to think of our subconscious mind as a computer — we need to reboot and load some new software. Our subconscious is full of false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example:- - we need alcohol to socialize - we deserve a drink at the end of the day - we need a drink to cope with our stress The first step is to identify your limiting beliefs.. Somehow we have to overturn those beliefs – one by one we can do that in two stages — intellectually and then by our behavior which will build new neural pathways in our brain. Here is an example:- If you are convinced that you will never be able to socialize without alcohol and you are going to lose all your friends…. Overturn that belief intellectually — write something like “I can enjoy time with my family and friends without drinking alcohol” in your journal. Sadly it’s not quite that easy — now you have to “do the work”.. You have to actually do it - socialize without alcohol — again and again.. Spoiler alert — you will probably hate it but you must keep going so that it will stick as you build a new neural pathway See each event as a challenge. Write it up in your journal — how did you feel, how long did you stay, did you manage to enjoy any part of the evening? If you have been drinking/socializing for years then it will take months to convince your subconscious that you can have fun without it — but it’s definitely possible. You can believe it because I did it myself It just takes courage and perseverance. It means pushing out of our comfort zone We give alcohol far too much credit for the good times and now you have to “uncouple” that alcohol/fun association. After all when we were children we didn’t need alcohol to have fun, we didn’t grab a beer from the fridge when we got home from school to help us recover from double maths! Keep socializing sober and gradually it will get easier and easier — until one evening you will realize that you had a great time — and you weren’t drinking — yay! That’s not the end of the journey but it is a breakthrough. There will be more social events which feel awkward and endless but gradually you will better and better at this. You will begin to relish the fact that you can jump in your car at the end of the evening and drive home safely — wake up with a clear head and perfect recall. So that’s our Sober Short for today – Changing your Thinking – About Drinking All about mindset which is essential for this journey – willpower is helpful at the beginning but its not sustainable.. If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me [email protected] And don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – its full of recovery stories and expert advice– its called Tribe Sober and it comes out every Saturday

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! If you are as old as I am then you may remember when rock music was all about “sex, drugs and rocknroll” I still remember going to a rolling stones concert in London which was held the day after their guitarist Brian Jones had been found dead in his swimming pool. As he was only 27 years old he joined the tragic line up of other talented artists who died at the age of 27 – including Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse and Janis Joplin. But times are changing – the music business is a multi billion dollar business and everything that rock stars do remains on the internet for posterity. My guest this week has a job that you may well envy if you are into rock music – he tours the world for a living – running concerts. He’s also got a podcast called “Brenton on Tour” In this episode Brent didn’t have a hectic “rock bottom” but as his responsibilities grew he realised that he needed to be super sharp at all times during his tours. He manages huge budgets and a complex schedule. He found himself planning his drinking – if he had three days off work then he knew that he would be drinking and he wouldn’t be at his best during some of that time He began to feel that he needed to make a choice between drinking – or his career and family. We agreed that even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us (and it certainly doesn’t destroy everybody) it often prevents us from reaching our potential. Brent believes that a lot of people think they are fine as they don’t have an obvious “problem” but in fact they would be a lot sharper and more energetic without it. We talked about the fact that sometimes we have a perception that we have a boozy crowd of friends but when we stop we sometimes discover that we were the ringleader ;-) Brent had Covid and was so pleased that he was not drinking when lockdown came around. We agreed that Yes we do sometimes lose friends when we stop drinking but those drinking buddy relationships are often replaces with new and deeper friendships. Brenton got sober with a combination of exercise, coffee, creating podcasts – and Clare Pooley! I loved his story of connecting with Clare who was firmly on Team Brent – the journey she describes in her Sober Diaries mirrored Bretts experience – she stressed the importance of getting to 100 days and then of course he didn’t want to waste his sober days so he carried on He even had a major wobble at several months in – then discovered that Clare had the same experience. Reading how she regretted giving in to the caving kept him on track. That’s exactly the kind of thing that happens in our community – people reach out because they are tempted or because they feel miserable and someone who is further down the road will always say “when I was at that stage this is what I did” – connecting with people at different stages of the journey is invaluable. We talked about Clare’s inspirational blog – the Obstacle course - and agreed that the worse thing is to fall on and off the wagon. Brent has experienced many benefits during his 3 years of sobriety – mental clarity and more energy to name just two. Saving time is a huge benefit – no longer are we planning the drinking, doing the drinking and recovering from the drinking. The podcast interview we did took place in the morning on one of his days off – he said that normally he would be sleeping but instead he was up and ready to talk to me about sobriety! - As he put it he was very happy to replace his search for alcohol with a search for knowledge That got me thinking that the combination of having extra time as well as more energy and creativity explains why many of our community have gone on to develop new interests and connections since they got sober. We did agree that getting sober is like saying goodbye to your best friend and you heard him promise to write a “Goodbye to Alcohol” letter for our website. With a job like his I obviously wasn’t going to let Brent off the hook without getting the inside scoop the drinking habits of todays rock stars For a long time substance abuse was cool…but now not so much Brent’s been in the music business for 20 years and these days it’s the “cleanest” it’s ever been. Huge amounts of money are spent on travel, hotels and stadiums so the promoters expect their artists to be well behaved – and of course concert tickets are not cheap these days so the fans want value for their money. A bad performance will live online for ever and can really damage a band’s reputation. There are many sober rock stars these days and their image does not suffer when they ditch the booze. This is such a good trend and many young people may be inspired to follow the example. So according to an article called “the sober rebranding of rock n roll” there are many sober rock stars – here are six: Jennifer Hudson, Elton John, Eminem, Keith Urban, Steven Tyler – and Neil Young. If you have a listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 68 you can hear the recovery story of punk musician

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our third "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode During the first two Sober Shorts we looked at Tools number one and two in our toolbox Tool one was CONNECTION “Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path – and also to connect to yourself On episode 69 of the Tribe Sober podcast you can hear our Yoga Teacher Tamsin explaining how yoga can enable us to reconnect with our bodies in recovery – Tribe members have access to a daily yoga class with Tamsin which is a wonderful start to the day. Tool number 2 was “Get Moving” We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you get So today we are going to look at Tool number 3 BUILD YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH Our emotional maturity stalls when we start drinking heavily – so I must have been 18 for a long time! If we’ve been numbing our feelings for years we haven’t learned how to deal with the difficult times It’s a bit of a cliché to say that difficult times are “character building” but they are…they build resilience Our wonderful coach Lynette always tells us that we must “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” and I think that is so true It’s really hard to do that at first but (to quote Lynette again) – “what’s wrong with hard?” We have to learn to sit with our feelings – not try to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” When I was drinking and I felt miserable I would pour myself a glass of bubbly to “perk myself” up – it worked but I usually overdid it and felt even worse the next day! Now that I am sober, life is not all sunshine and roses BUT if I feel miserable I will just take a breath and remind myself that yes today is not great but by tomorrow (or certainly the day after) I am going to feel fine again. We need to accept that we were not put on earth to be happy 24/7 whatever our Instagram feed says – the human experience is to deal with the ups and the downs and learn from them if possible. To quote the Victor Frankl – “we are not put on earth to seek pleasure (in spite of what Freud teaches) or to seek power (in spite of Adlers teaching) – we are put on earth to find meaning and purpose in our lives” And it’s our pain that will lead us to our purpose – I was in a lot of pain during my struggles with alcohol, but I eventually reached out for help which not only led me out of my own addiction but enabled me to find my purpose and help others to change their relationship with alcohol. So instead of numbing out we need to learn to reconnect with ourselves and this is where yoga can play a role – listen to episode 69 with our TS yoga teacher We need to learn to be Warriors Glennon Doyle has a brilliant Super Soul podcast – called “First the Pain, then the Rising” She talks about how alcohol becomes the “Easy Button” which we use to bypass pain – but in fact pain is our greatest teacher and we should embrace it and welcome its power Emotional pain will build resilience which will enable us to cope with future challenges The pain may be big but our courage is bigger The journey of the sober warrior is to stop hiding from the pain– instead you need to march straight into the pain You need your pain “Life is full of pain and anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something” Heartbreak is the greatest teacher of all -don’t use the easy button top to avoid it – use it as your professor to guide you towards others – and there you will find your purpose – there you find your tribe -nothing bonds people so greatly as having been through the same struggle – that is the magic of the recovery movement Our collective pain is becoming our collective power as we learn to thrive in our alcohol free lives and call out Big Alcohol and its marketing… Pain will connect us to our purpose – and our tribe Thinking of Tribe Sober for a moment – many of our members have been brought very low with their struggles with alcohol – when they finally reached out to us and stopped drinking they were certainly in pain – but by connecting with others in the same situation they were able to learn how to use that pain to grow – and to discover their purpose FIRST OUR PAIN – THEN OUR RISING Quote from Glennon Doyle “the willingness to dwell in our discomfort and truly listen is how we turn our pain into power” So that’s the Sober Short for today – Our Third Tool

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Quite a few people in our tribe found their way to us after hearing me chat to the fabulous William Porter on his Friday Night Live spot which you can see HERE I met this weeks podcast guest when I was hanging out on the Alcohol Explained Facebook group – Stacy is a moderator on that group The French have a reputation for being “moderate drinkers” but that is actually a bit of a myth – they come in at number 11 on a global league table for heavy drinking with UK and SA coming in below! Stacy lives in France and works with William Porter – she’s been helping him to promote the French version of Alcohol Explained and also runs an IG group called "Alcool Explique" so if you are French or living in France please follow her Stacy has also helped William to create his online course and now she is helping me to put our workshops on line.. In this episode Stacy is only 34 years old so her Drinking Career was not that long – but it was intense She grew up in the US where the legal drinking age is 21 so when she spent a semester of her university course in France she found herself with unlimited access to booze Stacy began drinking with enthusiasm – no doubt heady with the combination of leaving home in the US and being free to drink as much as she wanted to Drinking was certainly normalised in her college crowd but she accepts she was one of the “heavier” drinkers As her contempories graduated and transitioned into grown up life many of them drank less – but not Staci! that’s when she realised that she had become dependent That’s what happens for many of us – we don’t even realise the extent of our dependency until we try to cut down – alcohol is insidious and we need to watch out for red flags If you are not sure what a red flag is then you need a copy of our PDF called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email [email protected] to get a copy Stacy eventually got a job as a part time teacher in France which left her with plenty of free time – for drinking.. Her drinking ramped up and she found herself setting (and breaking) rules around her drinking She also googled “am I an alcoholic” although of course she knew the answer! Her drinking sent her anxiety sky high until one day she had a melt down – her doctor put her on anti depressants but as she was still drinking they made no difference Like many of us Stacy had no “off” switch and she would drink until she blacked out – one day turning up for her waitressing job blackout drunk – unsurprisingly she got fired on the spot! She went to her doctor who told her she must take a 3 week break from alcohol and if she could do that then she was ok – so she white knuckled her 3 weeks (with the help of Xanax which her doctor had given her) And went back to drinking – she explained that having a drinking problem is France is “complicated” You are either an “alcoholic” or you are fine – a well dressed professional woman just did not meet the stereotype of an “Alcoholic” Looking back on her drinking she realised it got worse and worse over a period of 9 years That’s the thing with alcohol dependence – once you’ve crossed a line with your drinking it will never get “better” – it’s a bit like being in an elevator when the only way it goes is down That’s why moderation is not an option for many of us – we just have to ditch the stuff and learn to enjoy our alcohol free lives Stacy was waiting for a sign – waiting for a rock bottom and it came during lockdown The bars were closed and she was working from home – so she stocked up on wine boxes and got stuck in – her weekends became a black hole of drinking and blacking out One day she was having coffee with a friend who recommended a couple of books – AE and Naked Mind She read Alcohol Explained by William Porter and it literally changed everything – something clicked for Stacy and she knew she was done with drinking Everything feel into place for her – she began to join the dots and realise that her sleeping problem, her anxiety and her chronic lack of energy was all linked to her heavy drinking Education is key to this journey – once we realise the extent of the damage our drinking is doing we feel less and less inclined to drink.. When people join Tribe Sober we urge them to visit out Amazon bookstore on the website and get stuck into the quitlit (including AE of course!) – reading quitlit and listening to podcasts is a real education – many people have NO idea just how much harm alcohol does They have no idea that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases Even if alcohol doesn’t destroy our health it will certainly prevent us from reaching our potential When Stacy got sober she finally got in touch with her emotions and realised that her 9 year relationship with her partner was no longer right for her We find that in our community – once people get sober it’s as if the mist has cleared and they can see what they really want – I’m

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our second "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode Tool number two in our toolbox is exercise - we want you to Get Moving! We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively We seem to have a lot of runners in our tribe – I always remember one lady telling me that she would wake up with a crashing hangover and then she’d force herself out for a run – often with tears running down her face as she felt so awful. These days she is sober and she runs twice as fast and enjoys every moment! There is a growing body of evidence about the benefits from regular exercise which we need to be doing all throughout our lives – not just when we are young. Exercise also has a role to play for people in recovery On episode 69 of the Tribe Sober podcast you can hear our Yoga Teacher Tamsin explaining how yoga can enable us to reconnect with our bodies in recovery – Tribe members have access to a daily yoga class with Tamsin which is a wonderful start to the day. But apart from yoga we need a more general exercise regime so lets look at some of the benefits of exercise Exercise will release endorphins which relieve stress/anxiety and give you a natural high – just the job in those early days of sobriety when you are feeling a bit flat without the buzz of alcohol Exercise improves our body image and our mental health – in fact its an essential, unavoidable part of being in good physical and mental health It also improves self-confidence and self-esteem and is a genuine reward for your body and mind — unlike alcohol, which is more like a punishment." If we’ve been drinking for years then we will have deep neural pathways marking the habit we have developed – the trick is to replace this unhealthy habit with a healthy habit – and a daily exercise routine does the job perfectly Stick at it for 66 days and you will have build a whole new neural pathway! My daily habit for decades had been to open a bottle of wine at 6pm – when I quit drinking I simply put on my headphones at 6pm and went walking by the sea for an hour – every.single.day – this not only got me through my “danger hour” but it helped me to build a new healthy habit Now that I am nearly 7 years sober I still walk at 6pm every evening – not to avoid drinking but just because I love it and have built a new neural pathway –it just doesn’t feel right if I don’t do it! We can feel a bit low in early sobriety and exercise will not only reduce your depression but it can give you a sense of purpose Have a listen to Tribe Sober podcast number 55 where I talk to Dr Loretta Breuning who explains that we need projects when we are in recovery – working towards a project will trigger our happy brain chemicals and an exercise program fits the bill perfectly Draw up targets and go a little further each time you run or walk for example – if you lift weights then gradually increase the weights There is more and more evidence emerging that we must keep exercising as we get older – even if you don’t feel up to running these days then just get walking. Get a Fitbit and make sure you hit that 10k target every single day. We really have to use it or lose it! If you are middle aged or older, leading a sedentary lifestyle and drinking alcohol then just do these two things and you will transform your life Ditch the Drink! Exercise Daily! If that sounds impossible then check out tribesober.com and we’ll get you started on this life changing journey! At Tribe Sober our goal is to enable you not only to quit drinking but then to go on and actually THRIVE in your alcohol free life – and we cannot be healthy and thrive if we are not exercising regularly So that’s your Sober Short for today – Our second Tool from our Sober Toolbox – Get Moving If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me [email protected] – or if you’d like to share your exercise routine with us we’d love to hear from you And don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – its full of recovery stories and expert advice– its called Tribe Sober and it comes out every Saturday morning. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! We created TS because we believe it’s really hard to change your drinking habits alone – so at TS we are all about community so on this weeks podcast we are featuring 2 ladies who signed up for our Sober Spring Challenge. At the time of recording we are in late January but if you are up for taking a break then just sign up for our January Challenge which is open until 31st Jan – for a small donation to a good cause we offer community and online support for an alcohol free month. We’ve currently got 115 people going through the Challenge so sign up today and join the fun –they are chatting away all day long on their WhatsApp group – sharings their journey and passing on tips. Just go to tribesober.com and hit January challenge. If you’re listening to this after January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” and we’ll put you on our 30 day starter challenge. So lets have a listen to two Sober Springers reporting back on how it felt to take a break from the booze. In this episode First up we have Lindy who managed an awesome 66 out of 66 for her sober spring challenge It struck me the other day that just as alcohol dependence is “progressive” so is sobriety if you give it a chance. Jo is a pretty good example – when she signed up for her first SS 3 years ago she was not even thinking about giving up drinking for good but by her third SS she had decided that sobriety was for her. The annual SS challenges have been getting easier and easier for Jo and she came to the conclusion that alcohol free living has a lot to offer. So lets pull together a few TIPS from our ladies… Lindy’s tip of having mini-goals is a great one. The F (forever) word is just too scary in the early days – so take it in small steps – 30 days, 66 days, 100 days, 6 months and then a year – and once you’ve hit that one year milestone its very unlikely you’ll want to go back – have a listen to episode 15 of the Tribe Sober podcast to listen to Kai who did our very first SS Challenge, implemented the mini-goal approach and is still sober to this day. When Lindy found herself needing a drink every night she was aware that it was a red flag – its an important tip to be aware of the signs that you may be becoming dependent so talking of red flags why not get a copy of our PDF– its called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email [email protected] and I’ll send you on Apart from keeping an eye open for red flags CHECK YOUR DEPENDENCE – just as we have an annual medical check up we should check our alcohol dependence regularly - I’m always encouraging people to sign up for our challenges to test their dependency as 20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years – and Jo has been cleverly monitoring her relationship with alcohol by signing up for the SSC every year – and very happily noticing that it was becoming easier and easier until she finally decided to go alcohol free permanently BENEFITS Lindy no longer feels bloated and those late night cheese binges after a few glasses of wine are no more. Lindy loves feeling alert and energised every single day but the real gamechanger for her was that her level of anxiety has plummeted Jo has progressed from someone who didn’t even consider giving up drinking to someone who is embracing her alcohol free lifestyle with enthusiasm. This was a three year journey which proves that the trick is to keep at it! If you enjoyed this episode then you can hear another 8 conversations about the power of taking a break from the booze by listening to episodes 75, 76 and 79. Don’t forget to follow us and share the podcast - and we would be SO grateful if you would leave us a review Take a screenshot of your review and email it to [email protected] – we’ll read it out on the show and send you something nice to say thank you! It’s still January as we record this so if you are ready to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and test your dependence then please check out our January Challenge on tribesober.com – for a small donation to a good cause you will get online and community support for an alcohol free month And if its not January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” – as a new member we’ll chat to you about your needs and design you a tailor made sobriety journey that will change your life! SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our very first "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode Tool number one in our toolbox is connection…connection is the opposite of addiction A fact that has been proved by the ratpark experiment way back in the 1960’s If you haven’t seen Johann Haris fabulous TED talk where he describes this experiment then please check it out here Once your drinking has crossed a line you need to connect with others on the same path… If you are wondering whether you have crossed this imaginary line then try to drink within the “low risk limits” of one and a half bottles of wine a week – or 6 beers – if you can’t then you probably need to make some changes Giving up alcohol is a lonely path – it has been completely normalised in our society and the peer pressure is strong… It’s the only drug we need to justify NOT taking so you need to find your people People like you who understand that “no you cant just drink less, or drink more slowly or have one glass” People who are or were in exactly the same place so they “get you” I spent ten long years trying to tackle my drinking problem alone – my attitude was that I’ve got myself into this mess so I’ll get myself out of it – and nobody need be any the wiser. The problem was I had no-one to connect with when I was struggling, nobody to inspire me when I was fed up – nobody to hold me accountable when I fell off the wagon – again and again. Like many women I was ashamed of my little problem – and I was also totally reluctant to let the wine go completely I thought I would be able to “control” it and drink normally – become a normal drinker! Of course now I understand that was an impossible dream and if I could give one piece of advice to anyone considering their relationship with alcohol it would be:- Don’t waste your time with Moderation Mary as we call her– just ditch the stuff and you will find peace. Admittedly you will have to work out HOW to live without your best friend but that’s where we come in. I’m not the only one who wasted time trying to control an addictive drug – a recent study by the Tempest – 11 years Always remember that people who CAN moderate just do it – alcohol is not even on their radio and they certainly won’t be listening to this podcast! So if you’re listening to this and you are worried about your drinking then don’t waste 11 years – reach out to someone today.. When I finally reached out and got some help I realized that I was not alone, I was not broken, there was nothing wrong with me – I was just one of the 20% of social drinkers who had become dependent over the years.. Alcohol is so sneaky, it really creeps up on us – like many women I drank socially during my 20’s and 30s and then began to use it to manage my anxiety and to relax during my 40s and 50s – when drinking alone became one of my favourite occupations! If you want to hear my drinking story and what finally drove me to quit and how I did it then you can hear that on Tribe Sober podcast episode 1. So our first tool in the Tribe Sober toolkit is to find your people Its SO much easier to find your people these days – 10 years ago we only had AA but now there are many online sober communities, an endless supply of alcohol free drinks and we even have a Sober Magazine – Hola Sober! So find your people and then “work your tribe” – by which we mean stay connected and share your ups and downs We would love to be your people so do give us a try, for an affordable monthly subscription we offer plenty of support including daily Tribe Chats to enable you to check in and get some extra help if you need it.. – click here for more info So that’s your Sober Short for today – Top Tool from our Sober Toolbox – work your tribe Find your people – and stay connected – because connection is the opposite of addiction If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me [email protected] Don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – full of recovery stories, expert advice and plenty of advice – its called Tribe Sober and comes out every Saturday morning More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! We created TS because we believe it’s really hard to change your drinking habits alone – so at TS we are all about community so on this weeks podcast we are featuring 2 ladies who signed up for our Sober Spring Challenge. At the time of recording we are in late January but if you are up for taking a break then just sign up for our January Challenge which is open until 31st Jan – for a small donation to a good cause we offer community and online support for an alcohol free month. We’ve currently got 115 people going through the Challenge so sign up today and join the fun –they are chatting away all day long on their WhatsApp group – sharings their journey and passing on tips. Just go to tribesober.com and hit January challenge. If you’re listening to this after January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” and we’ll put you on our 30 day starter challenge. In this episode Every year we do a Sober Spring Challenge - 66 alcohol free days - two of our Sober Springer are sharing their experience Our first Sober Springer is Roz, a Brit living in Spain. Roz drank for decades but once she joined the tribe - she stopped and never went back - "Tribe Sober is my family" - she says Our second Springer is Annick from Belguim - she also found that "connection is the opposite of addiction" and the WhatsApp group kept her on track. Her first 30 days were tough but by Day 80 she was flying! After helping hundreds of people to get sober I am convinced that this doesn’t have to be a lifelong struggle. It involves giving it your all for the first 6 months when you are basically concentrating on “not drinking” and learning as much as you can. The rest of that first year is about learning to navigate our alcohol drenched society, developing new interests and learning to thrive in your alcohol free life. Like many women Annick was quite health conscious– she ate healthy foods and did yoga – but she drank. For so many of us alcohol is the missing part of the puzzle – so many of us are filled with fear and reluctant to let it go. All we can tell you from the other side is that you will GAIN so much more than you will lose if you ditch the drink! Your drinking isn’t a PROBLEM – it’s actually giving you an OPPORTUNITY – to ditch the stuff and open up your life – that’s a valuable reframe by Tribe Member Lucy! Talking of Lucy, Annick referred to our “Why” exercise which was designed by Lucy and has helped SO many of our members – if you’d like a copy just drop a line to [email protected] and I’ll send it to you A few tips and benefits from my conversations with Roz and Annick TIPS Find a community – you heard Roz say that TS has become her family and Annick said the WhatsApp group helped her to feel less alone – it’s so important to realise that we are not alone in this struggle – we are not broken, we are not diseased – we just got addicted to an addictive substance like 20% of social drinkers do – every single year. “Connection is the opposite of addiction” so find your people – maybe we are your people – go to ts.com and hit “join our tribe” and find out more about the support we offer. Annick got to the point where moderation no longer crossed her mind. This is a huge step – when we accept that we can never drink alcohol we find peace. Admittedly we have some work to do to change our habits but it’s entirely possible and so worthwhile. Always remember that people who moderate just moderate – alcohol is not even on their radar - If you are listening to this you probably can’t moderate or you wouldn’t find it interesting. Final tip is to give it your all. Ros and Annick really “threw” the book at their sobriety – Ros checked the community messages first thing in the morning and last thing at night, attended all the zoom meetings, listened to the podcasts and read the quitlit. Annick even listened to the podcasts twice! Give it your all and get this sobriety thing nailed within six months – then work on thriving in your alcohol free life and you will never look back! Lets end with a couple of the many benefits that emerged from those conversations:- Ros sleeps well, wakes up happy and has lost weight without even trying! She’s just had her 71st birthday and says that sobriety is the best birthday present ever! Annick has boundless energy and “joie de vivre” and relates to the title of Catherine Grays book – “the unexpected joy of being sober” – like me she had absolutely no idea that sobriety could be full of joy! If you enjoyed this episode then you can hear another 6 conversations about the power of taking a break from the booze by listening to episodes 75 and 76. This week we have a PDF to give away – its called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email [email protected] if you’d like a copy Don’t forget to follow us and share the podcast - and we would be SO grateful if you would leave us a review Take a screenshot of your review and email it

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! When I was contemplating sobriety I read a couple of books that really resonated with me – one was Caroline Knapp: Drinking a Love Story and the other one was Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol That book was published back in 2013 and it was a book that predicted the huge rise in risky drinking for women – a prediction that sadly has come true. In her book Ann skilfully combines in-depth research with her own moving story of alcohol abuse. She highlights the positive fact that women have closed the gender gap in their professional and educational lives BUT they have also achieved equality with men by drinking at unhealthy levels. Unfortunately our bodies are not equal to a man’s body when it comes to metabolising alcohol – we get dependent quicker and it damages our health to a higher degree. Ann explains how the alcohol industry had been ruthlessly targeting women for the last two decades – and how successful they have been In this episode Anns drinking became problematic as she hit menopause – her son was going off to college and she had empty nest syndrome. She became depressed but didn’t want anti depressants (as her mom had fallen prey to the combination of cocktails and Valium) so she started to rely on wine to “take the edge off” In her 50’s Ann became so worried about her drinking that she took herself off to rehab. However it didn’t work. Leaving rehab she had no idea how to navigate normal life and we agreed that this is a “missing piece” in some rehabs. She found herself sneaking drinks for 3 months and then began to feel suicidal – her ex husband suggested a meeting which was the beginning of her recovery For Ann her recovery meant she had to unpick her life and rebuild it so that it didn’t involve alcohol – this took years and year one was particularly hard. This got me reflecting on our Tribe Sober community. We sometimes get people saying "I haven’t had a drink for 2 weeks – why do I still feel rubbish?!" When we embark on this life changing journey I think we have to be patient and play the long game – listen to Tribe Sober podcast number 61 and you will hear Dr Dawn explain that for every year that we drank we should allow a month of recovery. What I’ve observed after helping hundreds of people to get sober is that it takes a year for sobriety to stick – 6 months of focusing on changing your behaviour so that you no longer drink, followed by 6 months of reconfiguring your life so that you can create a life you don’t want to escape from. As we always say you have to “throw the book at it” and give it your all – you heard Ann say that this journey is not for the faint hearted but the rewards are huge and the rest of your life will be healthier and happier – you know you’re worth it (as the hair colour ad used to say!) We talked about my decade of moderation and Anne reminded me that in Caroline Knapps book she says that the average period of “negotiation” we do is about 12 years. There has been a more recent study by the Tempest that says that it usually takes someone about 11 years between recognising that they have a problem with alcohol and reaching out for help This is where the power of community comes in – if I had been in a sober community when I was trying (and failing) to moderate my drinking, they would have told me to stop wasting my time trying to control and addictive substance. Of course now I know that once we have crossed a line with our drinking there is no going back – we just have to ditch the stuff and learn how to thrive in our alcohol free lives. So if you are in that period of “negotiation”, setting rules, trying to moderate don’t waste 11 years of your life – go to tribesober.com and join our community today. We agreed that the liquor industry has hijacked the feminist movement convincing us we need mommyjuice to parent and wine for self care. Anne highlighted these facts in her book 8 years ago and she feels that things have got even worse since then. Women have to get smart and as Ann put it “democratically we are equal but metabolically and hormonally we are not equal to men” Ann is part of the Hola Sober team with the wonderful Susan Christina (you can listen to Susan Christina on Tribe Sober podcast episode 67). Ann is excited about the way the modern recovery movement is evolving and how there are so many different ways to get sober these days. We talked about the fact that sobriety will give us so much more than it takes away – if you are having a wobble in your sobriety then do the exercise that Ann’s son made her do – a list of gains and losses. She talks movingly about this on her fabulous TED talk – I’ll put the link in the show notes. Ann loves writing and runs an 8 week online recovery writing course which will help you to write your memoir and then get published – check it out on her website which is https://www.anndowsettjohnston.com/ I’ll put the link in the shownotes I loved her stor

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week I’m interviewing one of South Africa’s national treasures - author, journalist, and political analyst Eusebius McKaiser. I first interviewed Eusebius in 2020 and that conversation remains our most downloaded episode – you can find it on Tribe Sober podcast episode 29 so please check it out later A couple of years later I ditched the drink, started Tribe Sober and noticed that he had signed up for our Dry January Challenge. Eusebius is now 3 years sober and is yet another example of how effective these short challenges can be – a taste of sobriety can sometimes bring about a permanent lifestyle change. If you are ready to try a Dry January then go to tribesober.com and check out the January challenge – for a small donation to a good cause you will get community and online support for an alcohol free month. In this Episode The sober curious movement is growing – we have an endless variety of AF drinks, many online sobriety groups and even our own magazine Hola Sober. Eusebius believes that people should be free to make “bad choices” in life but did agree with me that education is important. Alcohol is a legal drunk which damages our health and drinkers need to be aware of that. When tobacco advertising was banned the information about the link with lung cancer was all over the media – if alcohol advertising was banned we would hear a lot more in the media about the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer. Women need to know that drinking more than 3 glasses of wine a week will raise their breast cancer risk by 15% We tackled a couple of sobriety myths – first of all the myth that we can’t have fun without alcohol – the truth is that once you have navigated those early difficult months of sobriety then it’s easy to have fun without booze – and lovely not to have to pay the price of a hangover the next day! Our subconscious minds have been convinced by a combination of marketing and peer pressure that we need alcohol to enjoy ourselves – to deprogram this thinking we need to spend a few months socialising without alcohol – its not easy but treat it as a challenge and you will get there – your subconscious will eventually get it! The second myth we busted was the myth that we need the buzz of booze to be creative – Eusebius wrote some of his early essays when on his way down from heavy drinking sessions but feels he has done some of his best writing since he’s been sober. We talked about the social pressure to drink which is relentless and hard to cope with when we are in the early stages of sobriety – alcohol really is the only drug we have to justify NOT taking That’s why CHALLENGES are so great – especially our January Challenge – we can just say “I’m raising money for charity by doing a Dry January” – nobody can really argue with that one! We get more confident dealing with peer pressure to drink as time goes by and eventually many of us are proud of our sobriety and eager to talk about it! Eusebius always maintains that it’s not our responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking and is quite happy to be rude to people who interrogate him about his sobriety! We talked about dependency and I explained that I didn’t even realise what trouble I was in until I tried to cut down – and couldn’t. That’s another reason challenges are great – its an opportunity to test your dependency – if you can get through a month without booze easily then you are fine – if not then you may need to make some changes! Do a challenge at least twice a year to keep your eye on your level of dependence. A challenge is also useful if you want to cut down your drinking – low risk levels are just one and a half bottles of wine a week (or 6 beers) – so do a challenge, have a month off the booze and then it will be easier to reset your drinking pattern. Eusebius stressed that the Earthchild project helps children to find a moment of peace in their difficult lives. Yoga may be perceived as a middle class pastime but in fact the postures and the breathing bring a sense of calm to children who grow up surrounded by gang violence and poverty. We concluded with a few tips and benefits of sobriety:- Eusebius main benefit which he wasn’t even expecting has been the time he has regained now he no longer drinks – he loves getting up early at the weekend and getting on with his day His tip was to stock up on AF drinks – Dry January Challengers get a discount from DN.co.za My benefit was sleep – as drinkers we get only 2 cycles of REM sleep (we need 7) – over the years we build up a permanent sense of fatigue if we drink – even a month off the booze will boost our energy levels My tip was to find your people – its very hard to change your drinking alone so join tribe sober! So I do hope we have inspired you to sign up for the January Challenge SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got yo

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! We want to help you to make a healthy start to the new year so we've launched our 7th Annual Fundraiser which will provide you with online and community support for an alcohol free month - and enable you to help a disadvantaged child. Talk about a win-win! We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober - every year we run our Sober Spring Challenge - and then another one in January. On this week's podcast we hear from 3 people who did Sober Spring 2021 - why did they sign up? what was it like? what tips do they have? Let's hear from Jenny, Jimmi and Sybille:- In this Episode Our Challengers had plenty of useful tips to share Throw the book at it! Both Jenny and Sybille have been reading all the quitlit and listening to all the podcasts. As Sybille said if we understand the science behind alcohol dependence then we are more likely to stick with it – learn everything you can and eventually it will click! Work on your mindset – Sybille sees her alcohol free future as a very positive thing – a life full of benefits rather than some kind of punishment! Stock up on alcohol free drinks – if you are in South Africa and doing our January Challenge you can claim a discount from DrinkNil who will deliver to your door. Journalling was another important tip - buy a notebook, process your emotions and log your progress during the Challenge. We often have a vague feeling that we need to do something about our drinking but a challenge will enable you to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and take action - SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE "Alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking" so doing a challenge is a great "reason". If you have to explain to your family and friends why you are not drinking you can say "I'm raising money for charity by doing a Dry January!" An alcohol free month will enable you to experience some benefits of sobriety but to really experience the joys of alcohol free living you need to keep going a bit longer. You will meet others on the challenge who will be keep to extend the challenge to 66 days, 100 days - even six months! Another great tip we heard from our Challengers was to reconfigure your day - shake up your routine a bit and you won't miss alcohol so much! If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x PS How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast is released on Christmas Day so by the time you get to hearing it the festivities will be drawing to a close and your thoughts may be turning to 2022. We want to help you to make a healthy start to the new year so we've launched our 7th Annual Fundraiser which will provide you with online and community support for an alcohol free month - and enable you to help a disadvantaged child. Talk about a win-win! We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober - every year we run our Sober Spring Challenge - and then another one in January. On this week's podcast we hear from 3 ladies who did Sober Spring 2021 - why did they sign up? what was it like? what tips do they have? Let's hear from Claire, Helena and Pam:- In this Episode Like many of us Claire had fallen into the routine of drinking a bottle of wine every evening - and she wanted to make a change. Claire who wasn't sure that an online community would work for her - she thought she might be the "wrong generation" but in fact she loved it. She posted comments daily and felt a deep connection with the other challengers. She didn't find it that difficult. She had been "thinking about it" for so long that one she actually took action and signed up for the challenge she was more than ready - and got straight through 66 alcohol free days without a slip up! Then we heard from Helena who has struggled with drugs and alcohol for years but who is now making real progress. She was fascinated by the idea of a 66 day challenge and the fact that a new neural pathway can be created in this time. Pam explained that she had been worried about her drinking for a while and that the challenge finally made it clear to her that "moderation" was not going to work for her. Our Challengers had plenty of useful tips to share - "make a plan" was a big one - Claire explained that visiting an exclusive game farm carrying a huge bag of AF drinks may have bemused the staff but it enabled her to stay on track! Journalling was another important tip - buy a notebook, process your emotions and log your progress during the Challenge. Treat your Challenge as a research project - listen to podcasts, read the quitlit and learn everything you can. We often have a vague feeling that we need to do something about our drinking but a challenge will enable you to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and take action - SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE "Alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking" so doing a challenge is a great "reason". If you have to explain to your family and friends why you are not drinking you can say "I'm raising money for charity by doing a Dry January!" An alcohol free month will enable you to experience some benefits of sobriety but to really experience the joys of alcohol free living you need to keep going a bit longer. You will meet others on the challenge who will be keep to extend the challenge to 66 days, 100 days - even six months! Another great tip we heard from our Challengers was to reconfigure your day - shake up your routine a bit and you won't miss alcohol so much! If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening! Till Next Week Janet x PS How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Revie

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast guest is Deb from Kentucky who is known as Mocktail Mom - she hosts an awesome IG live session on Monday night called Making Friends & Mocktails. She has her own recovery journey to share and like me she is a breast cancer survivor. Dramatically reducing your risk of breast cancer is one of the benefits of sobriety we don’t talk about much so we were both keen to highlight this issue during the conversation. In this Episode Deb had done lots of challenges - we chatted about the value of short challenges and agreed that they can be counter-productive – 30 days is not quite long enough to experience the real benefits of sobriety so we are just doing the hard bit – and in the process our subconscious is registering that sobriety is difficult and not much fun! Don’t let that put you off from doing our January Challenge though – it’s a great way to dip your toe into the waters of sobriety and connect with other sober curious people – what usually happens is that some people decide to keep going for longer – sign up by going to TS.com and tapping January Challenge Deb didn’t start drinking heavily until she turned 40 when she started using it to cope with some major life challenges. This is a pattern I am beginning to notice with some of the people I meet these days – rather than drinking socially in their 20’s and 30’s which led them to becoming dependent in mid life, they hardly drank much at all until they reached their 40’s or 50’s and then used it to cope with difficult times. People who do take up drinking later in life tend to hit it hard and within a decade Debs drinking had escalated to a level that worried her. She felt a lot of shame about her drinking – she felt she was driving a car with a trailer behind it – the trailer of shame! What motivated her to finally take action was the prospect of her 50th birthday – she had the blues and decided that she was just not living the life she was meant to be living..- so she signed up for another challenge – but this time it was different… When she signed up for her final 30 day challenge she was still lacking in confidence - so convinced she would fail that she told no-one… she didn’t tell her husband or friends – however what was different this time was that she connected with other people who were doing the challenge – people she could talk to freely – she felt less alone as previously she felt she was the only person with this kind of problem! Deb had “found her people” and sure enough a group of the challengers decided to keep going when they got to the end of the 30 days – this is the way to do it, step by step. Avoid the “F” word – it’s just too scary when we are at the beginning of this journey. Step by step is the way to go - we have so many examples of people who have signed up Sober Spring or our January Challenge and then have extended it – first to 100 days, then to 6 months, then to a year. Here the thing: once you’ve got to a year of sobriety you feel SO different, physically and mentally that you just won’t want to go back to drinking. You will be experiencing so many benefits that they will motivate you to carry on and it will become effortless – the new normal. So rather than your motivation coming from external forces (from your doctor, your family, a challenge) – your motivation will come from within - a much more powerful place. Deb learned the importance of planning – she would check in advance what drinks they were serving at the venue so she could decide what to drink and she would decide what she was going to say to people. She would play the movie forward which is one of our favourite tools here at Tribe Sober. We agreed that we felt embarrassed at first having to explain why we weren’t drinking but that passes with time and Deb now just says “I choose not to drink” and we agreed that “I’m just taking a break” is also a good one. I think we need to remember that although alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking it’s not our responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking – we must do what’s right for us. We agreed on the importance of not even contemplating having “one drink” – as Deb put it that would be a switch and she’d be off and looking for the party! We both notice that there is a bit of a societal shift towards sobriety these days – the #sobercurious movement is great and enables people who don’t even have a problem with alcohol to see what their lives are like without alcohol – to experiment a bit – and of course its so much lighter to say “I’m sober curious” than “I’m an alcoholic” (!) Deb listed her benefits which include better sleep, no more headaches, no more shame – she's lost weight and most important of all she feels a sense of freedom. I asked her for some tips for anyone listening who knows they need to make a change but is not ready to dive in just yet – her advice is to join some groups and just listen and lear

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast guest is an Art Therapist. Just as I didn’t realise how important yoga could be in recovery I also had no idea that Art Therapy had a role to play.. I interviewed Tribe Sobers yoga teacher Tamsin on episode 69 and today I’m chatting to Art Therapist – Samantha Davis Sami has operated a private Art Therapy practice for the past 18 years. She’s worked with people who struggle with stress, addiction, depression and also people wanting to discover more meaning and purpose in their lives. In this Episode Sami began by defining Art Therapy which involves “using art materials to help a client to communicate and express themselves with the guidance of a qualified therapist". We discussed how as adults many of us have lost the ability to play – we tend to get caught up in productivity and ticking boxes. We need to get back in touch with our creativity and art therapy can help us to do that. Some people feel intimidated at the thought of Art Therapy thinking that they need some artistic skill. This is not true at all and in fact Sam loves clients who come to her with no knowledge or aptitude for “art” – Art Therapy is in fact a way of getting in touch with our creativity and playfulness. Art therapy can play in important role in our recovery – it can help us to reconnect with ourselves and better understand who we really are. It can help us to decrease our reliance on alcohol and build new and different pathways and coping mechanisms. As drinkers some of us spent years numbing our feelings. Art therapy will help us to get back in touch with our feelings - and to express ourselves creatively. Sami sees the Art as the Bridge between what is inside and what is outside – it’s simply a way to express ourselves. We discussed the fragility of early sobriety where Art Therapy can play the role of holding a safe space where we can “check in”. We talked about the power of vulnerability and how art therapy allows us to express our vulnerability Sam explained the concept behind the vision board sessions which help us to reconnect with our passions using images, art materials etc – I’ve done one of these sessions and can really recommend it – a vision board allows us to express ourselves and then the power of manifestion will come into play. Our subconscious will register our vision and help it to become a reality. The vision board workshop is particularly useful for people in sobriety as it helps them to get back in touch with what they really enjoy doing. We have extra time on our hands when we stop drinking so we need to find constructive ways to use that time. Sam is quite happy to run a group vision board session for people in recovery so do get in touch with myself or Sam if you are interested. Sam explained that addictions mean that we are always busy focusing on our next fix which prevents us from being in the moment. Art Therapy can help with mindfulness and mental health generally – focusing on a creative project will enable us to get “in the flow” which can give our minds a welcome break from stress and anxiety. Art therapy can help us to build resilience and help us to recognize our triggers – all of which will help to prevent relapse. We often say that “connection is the opposite of addiction” here at Tribe Sober and we are referring to community. Sam helped me to realise that we also need to connect with ourselves – to get to know who we really are. Understanding ourselves better means that we can find new ways of coping – instead of using alcohol. At Tribe Sober we love learning about neuroscience, happy brain chemicals and our Lizard Brains – our gurus have been neuroscientist Staci Danfield who you can hear on episode 67 of this podcast and author of the Happy Brain, Loretta Breuning who is on episode 55. Sami explained that Art Therapy will also trigger our happy brain chemicals and will give us a boost in early sobriety when we can be plagued with a low mood. Loretta Breuning explained to us that we need a project in early sobriety to stay happy and focused. That’s why we have designed our 7 step program – to give you a project – the project of self discovery, so sign up for our Art Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Coaching and Root Cause Therapy. Just throw the book at it! Sam and I both run our workshops on Zoom these days and agreed that they work really well and we enjoy opening them up to people all over the world. Sam works with individuals and with groups. Sometimes an individual will need personal attention for their growth, healing or recovery. However the group sessions can be special – she believes that groups come together for a reason – they bring their life experience and of course a key part of the workshop is about sharing our stories. Jung calls this the “collective unconscious” – the people who need to be together come together. I loved that and it made me think of our workshops and the synergy and bonding that I’ve witnessed during the 6

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This weeks podcast guest is the lovely Lori Massicot a midlife sobriety coach. I discovered Lori when I found her podcast – it’s called “to 50 and beyond” – it’s a podcast aimed at women in mid-life where she highlights the beauty of aging and the freedom that comes along with alcohol free life. She’s on a mission to raise awareness towards the life changing impact of sobriety as we age. She interviewed me for her podcast and you can hear that conversation on episode 182 of to 50 and beyond. It’s called “Getting Sober Over 60” and you can access it here In this Episode I’m always fascinated by the way peoples drinking evolves over the years – I’m the first person to admit that drinking can be a lot of fun – until it’s not – until you become dependent - check out our podcast on how we go from "liking to wanting to needing" Let’s remember that 20% of social drinkers WILL become dependent over the years – if we are in that 20% then that doesn’t make us bad people – or weak people – or diseased people. It just makes us people who have become addicted to an addictive drug! People who will have to do a bit of work to change their habits – and that’s where people like myself and Lori come in – we’ve been where you are and we can help you make the change. As you heard Lori did the fun bit in her teens and 20’s – partying as a teenager and then working in real estate, earning good money and drinking wine with friends and colleagues. Then it was the mommyjuice phase – in here 30’s Lori felt depressed, put on weight and found her high pressure job all a bit much. She was using wine at home to cope with her stress and felt trapped in a vicious cycle. She refers to her early 40’s as the “dark years, she lost her mom and could get through two bottles of wine at a time. She had a wake up call when a family member asked her if she was an alcoholic. That’s when she realised that alcohol had become the centre of everything in her life. Of course like many of us she tried “the rules” (drinking only on certain days, drinking red rather than white etc etc) which of course didn’t work. Of course she also tried to “moderate” but of course that didn’t work either - in fact we agreed that for many of us its only when we try to cut down that we realise the extent of our problem. We realise that we have crossed a line with our drinking and it’s going to take more than a bit of willpower to make a change. So if you are busy trying to “moderate” and using rules to control your drinking please save yourself a lot of heartache and take a complete break – no need to use the F (forever word) – just take a break Every drinker needs to take regular breaks to test their dependence. Tribe Sober has just opened their annual Dry January Fundraiser which offers community and online support for 30 days - more info here. “Playing the Movie Forward” is a very popular tool in our community. Lori found herself “playing the movie forward 20 years” and was horrified at what she saw. She knew her drinking would escalate over the years and decided that she was done. She poured her Chardonnay down the sink and got started on her life changing journey to sobriety. Lori used journaling as her key tool –there is so much evidence of the value of keeping a journal – and it helps us so much when we are on this path. We can use it to process our emotions, note our triggers and track our journey. We can read back to the early days and see how much easier its getting and realise how many benefits we are experiencing. And of course the more benefits we do experience the less likely we will be inclined to return to Day 1! Exercise was another key tool for Lori and she educated herself about the best ways to strengthen her body in midlife. So journaling, exercise and playing the movie forward are all great tools which will help us to quit drinking. We all need to create a personal toolkit and we help you with that at our regular Tribe Sober workshops. Read more about our workshops here. Sobriety has given Lori freedom and peace. When she feels anxious she now understands how to self soothe without alcohol. I loved the way she said that in early sobriety we have to protect ourselves and build ourselves up so that we can learn to cope. Then we can go on to learn how to actually thrive our alcohol free lives. That’s exactly what we help our members to do at Tribe Sober with our 7 step program – get more info and sign up here. We agreed that ditching the booze gives us a feeling of power - we are doing something that the majority of the population would not even consider - Sobriety is a Superpower! Times are changing and the sober curious movement is helping that. People are getting “sober curious” and wondering what their life would look like without it. Why not sign up for Tribe Sober's January Challenge and find out! Loris podcast is called "to 50 and beyond" and her website is here: lorimassicot.com. Lori coaches women on