Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

My guest today is Tribe Member and Health & Wellness Educator Maya Acosta who shares her own story as well as some inspiration and great advice! In this episode:- Maya grew up in a family which normalized alcohol consumption and this of course influenced her own drinking patterns. She got married to a vascular surgeon which has given her a unique insight into the damage that can be done if we don’t look after ourselves – this was key to her changing her eating patterns Maya invited me as a guest on her Healthy Lifestyle podcast to talk about the risks of drinking alcohol – this conversation caused her to question her own drinking patterns She joined Tribe Sober in July 2022 and found the community support helpful in maintaining sobriety. Although she’d had periods of sobriety she would eventually relapse but this time she it felt different and more sustainable Maya is now heading for her second Soberversary and experiencing many benefits including better sleep, more energy, less anxiety and clarity of thought Eliminating alcohol has reduced her stress levels and also minimized the hot flashes she was experiencing during menopause. As a Health and Wellness Advocator Maya advocates lifestyle medicine, focusing on plant based diets and physical activity as well as avoiding risky substances such as alcohol More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience). To learn more about Maya you can catch her podcast which is called "Healthy Lifestyle Solutions," or go to her website which is called healthylifestylesolutions.org

My guest is author and coach Nigel Jones who shares his own story as well as some inspiration and great advice! In this episode:- Nigel started drinking daily at 18, struggled to quit for 36 years. He found success with a mindset shift, declaring himself a non-drinker from day one. We talked more about this identity shift during our first podcast interview which you can listen to here Many of our members have found Nigel's identity shift to being a "non drinker" helpful Rather than clocking up the sober days they declare themselves a non drinker from day one Apart from deciding that he was a non drinker Nigels strategies for quitting alcohol included Replacing drinking with new habits like walking. His "9 KM before 9 AM" walking routine led to a significant physical and mental transformation. Creating new neural pathways through consistent healthy habits. I shared my own habit change of going on a long walk every evening at 6pm which was my witching hour We both agreed on the stength of peer pressure to drink As drinkers we find ourselves in an alcohol drinkers tribe (ADT as Nigel calls it) When we decide to quit we need to find a new Tribe I went through this myself and I always say that recovery is about “finding your people” If you think Tribe Sober might be your people then go to tribesober.com and hit the membership tab Nigels benefits of sobriety included: Improved physical health, mental clarity, and spiritual well-being. Increased time and energy for personal development and learning – for example he Qualified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and he’s currently studying Hypnotherapy. Nigel’s working on a New Book called Reroot Yourself His book focuses on the healing power of nature. Concepts like forest bathing (Shinrin Yoku) and the benefits of being in nature. Nigel highlighted the scientific evidence for the mental and physical benefits of nature exposure. He currently takes these concepts into corporates where he is observing a shift in attitudes towards mental health Nigels Advice for people wanting to quit… He advocates reading quitlit and listening to podcasts Also joining a new tribe for support and encouragement – a tribe to replace your drinking tribe I often say that to new members – you don’t even have to quit drinking when you join Tribe Sober Just be curious, listen and learn.. and you’ll get inspired to make a change As Nigel says curiosity can be a catalyst for change Nigel is a coach and runs workshops in corpoprates Find out more about Nigel via his website 9kmby9am.com More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

My guest today is the lovely Nicole Klassen who did our very first 66 day Sober Challenge 5 years ago – not only has she been thriving in her alcohol free life ever since but she’s reconnected with her voice as a writer.. What a pleasure to hear Nicole's journey through sobriety, her rediscovery of writing and to learn about your current work which involves facilitating writing for mental health. Also to know that this whole journey was triggered by our 66 day challenge! If you’re listening to this and you’re interested in what could be a life changing alcohol free challenge we start our 66 day challenges on 1st September and 20 March every year but if you want to get started right now then sign up as a Tribe Sober member and we’ll start you off n an alcohol free challenge today – just go to tribesober.com and hit on the membership tab. In this episode:- She began experimenting with alcohol at 12-13 years old - binge drinking through high school and early adulthood This shifted to self medication as she drank alone at home to quell her anxiety Nicole’s last year of drinking was chaotic and involved frequent binges She joined our Sober Spring Challenge back in 2018 for an initial 66 days This started a shift in her focus from alcohol to self-improvement Nicole describes the Sober Spring Challenge Experience as a transformative and beautiful period Community and journalling were significant supports during the Challenge She experienced significant health improvements, including nervous system reset and healthier metabolism She was into her second year of sobriety before her weight began to change and she lost 20 kgs It does take a while for most of us to lose weight when we quit drinking so hang in there – I was 6 months sober when I lost some weight I believe we mess up our metabolism when we drink and it gradually gets back to normal when we stop Nicole also experienced Improved adrenal function and reduced cortisol spikes There were significant Mental Health Benefits for Nicole as well:- She experienced a Reconnection to Self and a sense of Purpose which included:- - A Significant change in lifestyle and a sense of belonging - An Enhanced connection to community - A Rekindled passion for writing during sobriety as she - Engaged in daily journaling and creative writing These days Nicole works as a facilitator with the Life Writing Collective In this role she focuses on writing as a tool for mental wellbeing Nicole’s website is – Naluthando.co.za Nicoles advice for anyone struggling with their drinking - Take the first step by joining a supportive group - Recognize the importance of connection and community - Utilize resources like workshops and challenges to stay committed More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

My guest today is Dustin Dunbar, author and leader of the Alcohol Free Revolution In this episode:- Alcoholism affected Dustins family; his grandfather and father both struggled with it. Despite his early vow not to drink, Dustin began drinking as a teenager due to peer pressure. He enjoyed a successful career in sales, real estate, and insurance. Social drinking became part of his lifestyle, exacerbated by business and social environments promoting alcohol consumption. Like with many of us Dustin’s alcohol use escalated gradually, He recognized the negative impact of alcohol in his mid-thirties and quit drinking four years ago. Like me he was Inspired by Annie Grace’s book "This Naked Mind," he began to see alcohol consumption as a form of unconscious behavior controlled by societal norms and marketing. Dustin describes a crazy dream he had where he's on a gurney in a room filled with other people, all plugged into tubes pumping ethanol into them. He realizes he’s being controlled by Big Alcohol, This dream leads him to conclude that society is trapped in an "alcohol matrix," where many people consume ethanol regularly, believing it to be normal and acceptable, despite its harmful effects. I also love the expression Alcohol Matrix which I first discovered in the Unexpected Joy of being Sober by Catherine Gray – she has a whole chapter on how we need to unplug from the matrix… and its true Unplugging can feel strange and lonely for a while but then it turns to a feeling of freedom…. And joy Dustin founded the Alcohol Free Revolution, offering support, education, and community to those seeking to quit drinking. The initiative includes coaches, therapists, and various experts to help individuals recover and lead alcohol-free lives. He’s also written a book called You’re Doing Great… and other lies Alcohol old me – get his book and find out more about Dustin his website which is dustin-dunbar.com More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can join our private Facebook group HERE How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

I’m recording this exactly a year after the death Eusebius McKaiser died at the tragically young age of 44. He was a national treasure for South Africans – an author, a journalist and broadcaster. One of the smartest public intellects in the country he was a fierce defender of truth and justice as many politicians found out to their cost! He was also a warm and generous friend.So instead of the planned episode I wanted to say a few words about my friend Eusebius and re-release one of the podcast interviews he did for Tribe Sober. The story starts back in 2001 when I relocated from the UK to SA. I started to watch national tv, trying to get my bearings in this beautiful and complex country. I spotted Eusebius on a talk show and was impressed. I read a couple of his books and listened to him on the radio. I discovered he’d been to Oxford University on a scholarship and had won a global award as a Debating Champion. I first met him in person more than a decade ago… Ironically I was drunk at the time! We were at the Franschhoek Literary Festival where I’d been drinking wine most of the day. This didn’t stop me dragging Long Suffering Husband to the Elephant and Barrel Pub in the evening. I spotted Eusebius in the bar. He was with deep in conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt. However husband knew I was a fan and he nudged me towards him – not quite sure what Eusebius thought about this drunken Brit lurching at him but he was very kind. For obvious reasons I don’t remember much about that conversation but that was the evening that our unlikely but enduring friendship was born. I finally ditched the booze in 2015 and set up Tribe Sober. Eusebius signed up for our Dry January Challenge and one of the mailers included my Goodbye to Alcohol letter – he asked me to come to Cape Talk and read it out on his Show. So I did and we got plenty of calls from people who knew they needed to say Goodbye to Alcohol. I’ll put a link to that radio program in the shownotes. Apart from reading my letter we raised more than R10,000 for Earthchild within 30 minutes. Just like me he loved the work done by NGO Earthchild and for the last 8 years he helped me to fundraise more than R300,000 which enabled more than 1000 underprivileged children to get a year of yoga and lifeskill classes. I then became a regular on his show and many of our current and past members found us via Eusebius. He loved the work we did at Tribe Sober and often promoted us on his social media. He came to two of our workshops in Joburg. The first one as a participant and the second one as my co-facilitator. We looked out for each other - he coached me to be a better speaker on the radio and I convinced him to start his own podcast when he left Cape Talk. Have a listen to this episode we recorded about 18 months ago In this Episode The sober curious movement is growing – we have an endless variety of AF drinks, many online sobriety groups and even our own magazine Hola Sober. Eusebius believes that people should be free to make “bad choices” in life but did agree with me that education is important. Alcohol is a legal drunk which damages our health and drinkers need to be aware of that. When tobacco advertising was banned the information about the link with lung cancer was all over the media – if alcohol advertising was banned we would hear a lot more in the media about the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer. Women need to know that drinking more than 3 glasses of wine a week will raise their breast cancer risk by 15% We tackled a couple of sobriety myths – first of all the myth that we can’t have fun without alcohol – the truth is that once you have navigated those early difficult months of sobriety then it’s easy to have fun without booze – and lovely not to have to pay the price of a hangover the next day! Our subconscious minds have been convinced by a combination of marketing and peer pressure that we need alcohol to enjoy ourselves – to deprogram this thinking we need to spend a few months socialising without alcohol – its not easy but treat it as a challenge and you will get there – your subconscious will eventually get it! The second myth we busted was the myth that we need the buzz of booze to be creative – Eusebius wrote some of his early essays when on his way down from heavy drinking sessions but feels he has done some of his best writing since he’s been sober. We talked about the social pressure to drink which is relentless and hard to cope with when we are in the early stages of sobriety – alcohol really is the only drug we have to justify NOT taking That’s why CHALLENGES are so great – especially our January Challenge – we can just say “I’m raising money for charity by doing a Dry January” – nobody can really argue with that one! We get more confident dealing with peer pressure to drink as time goes by and eventually many of us are proud of our sobriety and eager to talk about it! Eusebius always maintains that it’s not our re

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year. Registration for the current program is open until 30th May - more info here We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention In this episode:- I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle The Breaking Free program has four components… Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation… The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom. Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session. By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:- The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead. While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace. You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key…. Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it! The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future. The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support. You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call with me so that I can hear your story and give you some personal guidance My colleague Sue will catch up with you midway through the course to get a progress report and Last but not least you can book a session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love.. Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives…. All of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass. While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands…. As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time! Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open until 30th May - more info here More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

NEWSFLASH! - Our Breaking Free Program is open for enrollment until 30th May - get more info here I'm Janet Gourand, founder of Tribe Sober and I celebrated my 9th Soberversary on 23rd May, 2024! Most of our Tribe Sober members know my story – how I quit drinking and started Tribe Sober but as we are getting new podcast listeners every week I’m re-releasing my story along with my Goodbye to Alcohol Letter. But before that I have some fresh content that will be useful to everyone on this journey…. In this episode:- Common mistakes when we're trying quit drinking Mistake number 1 — Waiting for rock bottom I knew I had a problem but I was in denial for years. Convincing myself that I wasn’t that bad. I couldn’t possibly be an alcoholic because I was holding down a responsible job and raising a family. An alcoholic was that homeless man in the park who had lost everything. That wasn’t me! Mistake number 2 — Moderation I spent a decade stuck in the Moderation Trap. Once I’d learned that the low risk limits of alcohol are just one and a half bottles of wine a week I decided that I would drink within those limits. It was only when I tried (and failed) to do that that I realised just how dependent I had become. Mistake number 3 — Fearing failure I almost never got started on this life-changing journey because I believed I would fail. I just couldn’t imagine quitting alcohol, never having a drink again. I knew that I had tried (and failed) to moderate my drinking again and again. Surely it would be even harder to quit completely? Mistake number 4 — Worrying about other people Peer pressure is powerful. I was trapped in my drinking because I couldn’t bear to peel away from the herd and be different. As an introvert and a people pleaser I didn’t want to be the centre of attention as I was bombarded with questions about why I wasn’t drinking. Mistake number 5 — Being influenced by marketing As a teenager I believed that alcohol was cool. Wine became the essential parenting aid as I joined the mommy juice culture. Mid-life challenges needed wine as did juggling a career with family life. Retirement gave me time to relax and drink even more wine! Mistake number 6 — Waiting for happiness to strike.. I had relied on alcohol to make me feel good for a such a long time that I missed those chemical highs when I stopped. During my first few months of sobriety I didn’t change anything in my life. I just didn’t drink. I expected to feel happy because I was sober. But I didn’t, I felt flat and rather depressed. I learned that I would need a project to keep my happy brain chemicals firing! Mistake number 7 — Being depressed about quitting I had to quit for health reasons and was horrified at the prospect of an alcohol free life. I imagined that an alcohol free life would be a grey and boring existence. Alcohol had become so entrenched in my life that I had no idea how I would socialise, relax or have fun without it. Mistake number 8 — Trying to do it alone I thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t be happy with just “one glass” of wine like some of my friends. I tried (and failed) to quit over and over. I was ashamed of my drinking problem and wanted to fix it myself. I didn’t want to reach out for help or join a community. LEARNING FROM MISTAKES — 8 TIPS! TIP NUMBER 1: Do it now! Alcohol dependence is like an elevator and it’s only going down. The longer you leave it the worse it will get so if you’re worried about your drinking then Do it Now! TIP NUMBER 2: Forget Moderation! If you could moderate you would have done it by now. People who can moderate just do it naturally. They might have a glass of champagne at a wedding but alcohol is not really on their radar. TIP NUMBER 3: Have your reasons ready Just smile and say “I’m taking a break from the booze because I’ve not been sleeping well” and remember it’s not your responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking! TIP NUMBER 4: Change your thinking…about drinking Reflect and question the limiting beliefs you hold about alcohol. Do you really need alcohol to have fun, to relax, to console yourself for a difficult day? Explore new ways to manage these situations. TIP NUMBER 5: Reconfigure your life! When you quit drinking you can’t just leave everything the same. You’ll need to change your routines and get new interests. New hobbies and a new community will keep you happy and engaged. TIP NUMBER 6: Get excited! Get excited about this life changing opportunity! You are going to look better, feel better, sleep better and be full of energy. Ditching the booze is the best thing we can do for our health and happiness as we get older. TIP NUMBER 7: Find your People The joy of connecting with others on this journey is that we realise we are NOT alone. 20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years. There is such power and relief in sharing our stories with others in a community like tribesober.com TIP NUMBER 8: Progress not Perf

My guest today is Ben Loos, he’s a professor at Stellenbosch University and leads a neuro research group. His team focuses on neurodegenerative diseases and brain cancers, with a major focus on autophagy Autophagy is the body’s way of cleaning out damaged cells, in order to regenerate newer, healthier cells – a process which is essential to good health. Ben's research is at a particularly exciting stage right now as he is busy developing a device that will enable us to measure our autophagy rate – much as we can measure our resting heart rate or our glucose levels. He is CEO of a start up called Phagoflux which will bring this product to market. Knowing our autophagy rate can make a big difference and will motivate us to strive for a healthy lifestyle –for example if we see it is too low then we can do something about it – we can do some exercise or we can implement a 12 hour fast. Of course I asked Ben about what impact alcohol has on the autophagy process as well as other aspects of our health. In this episode:- Health Risks of Alcohol: Excessive alcohol consumption is linked to various diseases, including cancer and neurodegeneration, due to its stress-inducing effects on cells and interference with processes like memory consolidation and sleep. Effects on Memory and Aging: Alcohol impairs both short-term and long-term memory formation, and chronic consumption accelerates brain aging, increasing susceptibility to neurodegenerative diseases like dementia. Alcohol Dependence and Blackouts: Regular heavy drinking can lead to alcohol dependence and blackouts, which indicate severe brain impairment and are precursors to brain damage. Particularly dangerous as we get older Alcohol and Autophagy: Alcohol abuse can impair autophagy due to oxidative stress, inflammation, and mitochondrial dysfunction. Thinking about our general health: Quitting alcohol leads to significant improvements in health, including liver regeneration, reduced inflammation, and better immune function, emphasizing the importance of avoiding alcohol dependency, especially as one ages. With an autophagy monitoring device like Phagoflux we could monitor our personal autophagy levels, just like checking our blood pressure or glucose levels. If the levels are high, it's a good sign that our cellular cleaning mechanism is functioning optimally. But if it's low, then interventions like exercise or dietary changes could help boost autophagy and improve cellular health. It's all about empowering us to take control of our wellness at a cellular level and I think many of us ex drinkers are keen to take action to heal our bodies and brains as much as we can. Autophagy in Healing: Autophagy plays a vital role in cellular healing by removing damaged components and restoring function. Autophagy Monitoring Device: Fagovlux aims to measure personal autophagy levels, crucial for understanding aging. Personalized Autophagy: Understanding one's daily autophagy activity can guide lifestyle choices like diet and exercise. Exercise and Autophagy: Exercise increases autophagy, contributing to healthy aging and reducing disease risk. Intermittent Fasting: Fasting triggers autophagy by sensing a lack of amino acids, promoting cellular repair and health. Of course we already know the basic health rules and we try to stay alcohol free, eat a healthy diet and fast occasionally and exercise regularly. But how motivating would it be to be able to monitor our autophagy rate and see what impact our hard working is having on our health! Connect with Ben: Contact Ben through the Stellenbosch University website or the Neuro Research Group website for more information. www. neuroresearchgroup. com More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Find out more about our FREE Bootcamps - next one is 20-24th May - more info HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Today’s podcast comes with a bit of a health warning. Moderation is not something we recommend here at Tribe Sober – mainly because so many us were trapped in what I call the moderation swamp. We tried (and failed) over and over again to moderate our alcohol intake – all because we counldn’t imagine life without out gass of wine! Personally the whole of my 50’s was spent in that battle to moderate… a battle that I never won and it’s only now I’m well and truly out the other side that I can see the reality which is that once we’ve crossed a line into dependence we can never moderate – we can never go back… We just need to put all that effort we put into moderation into creating a beautiful alcohol free life – a life we don’t want to escape from.. Having said all that I do know that we have some “sober curious” people listening to this podcast, people who’ve not yet crossed that line into dependence.. so this episode will be of particular interest to them.. But if you were worried about your drinking and you have managed to clock up a period of sobriety then I would urge you to hang in there… it will get better and better and trying to moderate could take you back to Day One again! So let’s get to my guest who is Pamela Power, who is an author, a television script writer and has published a book called “My Year of Not Getting Shitfaced”.. In this episode:- Pamela’s mother was dependent on alcohol As a result Pamela become a people pleaser - anxiously watching for her mothers behaviour to change as she drank As a teenager Pamela sampled homemade wines on her grandmother's farm in Ireland There was occasional drinking during teenage years and university but nothing excessive Her drinking Increased as she enjoyed socialising with her friends during weekends and social events This period was pre-parenthood so the responsibilities of motherhood put the brakes on her drinking In spite of this she found herself drinking more during social gatherings and stressful periods, especially during COVID-19 pandemic She recognised that there could be a potential problem even though she certainly didn’t fit the traditional addiction narrative Pamela experienced an embarrassing blackout during Mothers Day and decided she needed to take a break and reassess her drinking habits Her intention was to experiment with moderation and take periodic breaks as a means of self-awareness and health maintenance Pamela acknowledges that she had no idea of the low risk limits or alcohol She is not alone in this – many people are unaware of those limits. To be clear the World Health Organisation says that to be healthy we shouldn’t drink alcohol at all. The evidence is stacking up and it's now proven that alcohol is linked to 7 types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. Moderation means drinking no more than a bottle and a half of wine A WEEK. Knowing I had to drink within those limits is actually one of the things that helped me to quit. Drinking a small glass of wine in the evening was not going to give me a buzz so I might as well quit! We discussed the societal differences in drinking culture, highlighting the sober curious movement and the way the younger generation seems to be falling out of love with alcohol The latest stats from UK tell us that a massive 40% of 18-24 year olds don’t drink at all! Pamela enjoys fine wines but does recognize their addictive nature. We reflected on the challenges of sober socializing and the benefits of leaving social events early. We agreed on the importance of finding new sources of entertainment and occupation without alcohol. I mentioned my concern about the possibility that her book could tempt people to try (or retry) moderation when they really needed to quit as they were already dependent. Pamela explained that she had read a lot of quitlit and could not identify with any of the authors as their stories were too extreme So she has written this book recognising that there are different drinking patterns and that her story will resonate with those people who are simply sober curious The book is called, "My Year of Not Getting Shit Faced," available online and in bookstores. More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Find out more about our FREE Bootcamps - next one is 20-24th May - more info HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Today’s guest is going to give us a peek into Hollywood and the fascinating world of movies about recovery Ted Perkins worked in the film industry for 30 years and has a book out called:- "Addicted in Film, Movies We Love About the Habits We Hate" I’ve just finished reading it and it’s fascinating – I had no idea there were so many films about recovery! The book forms the basis of his Recovery Movie Meetup program In this episode:- Ted grew up in a diplomatic family, where cocktail parties were the norm.. Worked as a movie producer for Universal Studios for 30 years, then pursued independent screenwriting The Movie industry (like so many other industries) is “awash in alcohol” as Ted put it His drinking was mainly recreational until he began to work independently as a scriptwriter when it became more about managing his anxiety His scriptwriting career involved a lot of waiting around for responses regarding scripts he had submitted Ted shared his personal struggle with moderation and his attempts to control his drinking He talks us through his unique approach to sobriety – rather than 90 meetings in 90 days he watched 100 recovery movies in 100 days! In fact I’ve recently interviewed a guy for the podcast who listened to 100 Tribe Sober podcasts in 100 days… and it worked! He’s sober now and I ‘ll be releasing that interview soon I’m even thinking of creating a 100 episode playlist to go with it! Apart from his movie watching Ted also worked with Smart Recovery His recovery led to him writing his book and developing Recovery Movie Meetups His book is called: "Addicted in Film, Movies We Love About the Habits We Hate" – available on Amazon – and on kindle – do check it out, its brilliant Recovery Movie Meetups enables communities to host support meetings using addiction-themed movies… and Tribe Sober will be hosting their first Recovery Movie Meetup with Ted on 11th May We’ll be watching an addiction themed movie and following it with a discussion – using guided questions I asked him for his Favorite Recovery Movie: which is the "Lost Weekend" which came out way back in (1945) I asked him to Recommended a Movie: He suggested "Thanks for Sharing" for its portrayal of various addictions and recovery aspects We discussed Society's stigma towards alcoholism: that misconception of alcoholics as homeless, contrasting with the majority of people affected who are in fact functional alcoholics Of course the danger of seeing the alcoholic as a homeless man in the park is that we look at him and think – I’m not that bad so I can carry on drinking! This suits the alcohol industry very well of course. AA's branding of the "alcoholic" can be likened to the religious branding of sinners – it’s a way to keep the flock together – to keep them coming to church… or meetings. We agreed that we had to take the Initiative in our recovery: we can’t just sit around waiting for life to become perfect – we have to rebuild our life, embrace opportunities and create an alcohol free life that we love Recovery is about reclaiming life’s possibilities We talked about the Hollywood celebrities who are modelling sobriety and making it cool: Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Anthony Hopkins, Demi Lovato, and plenty of others I really loved Teds feedback loop – I’m going to read a quote from the transcript of the interview Over time it'll work itself out and you'll see, …. all of the things that you thought were not going to be possible will become possible and you'll do things that you never thought possible Then your life in sobriety will then start an automatic feedback loop. Showing you how great life is and will continue to get as you pursue sobriety. I love that idea of an automatic feedback loop – as the benefits of sobriety start to come in we realise we want to hold on to them…. More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Find out more about our FREE Bootcamps - next one is 20-24th May - more info HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Today’s guest is Ken Middleton If you’re a regular listener then you’ll already know Ken and many of you have read his fabulous book which is called Bamboozled – How Alcohol Makes Fools of us all!" Kenis an interesting case because he didn’t embark on this journey because he was worried about his alcohol dependence… he did it because he realised that alcohol was preventing him from reaching his potential As he says “even if alcohol doesn’t destroy you it will prevent you from reaching your potential” How true! This is my actually my third podcast episode with Ken – You can listen to the other podcast episodes here and here In this episode:- Ken started his sobriety journey by educating himself on the scientific effects of alcohol. There is such power in knowledge – the more we understand about the damage alcohol does the less we feel like drinking it! His drinking career was pretty typical – starting at college where he used it to fit in and socialize. His drinking then intensified during his sales career It was when he decided to become an entrepreneur that Ken realized the detrimental impact of alcohol on his productivity. He decided to take a 90-day break from drinking with his wife, to his surprise this period of sobriety led to a significant increase in his productivity and income. Two weeks into his sobriety, Ken read Annie Grace's "This Naked Mind" which changed his perspective on alcohol. This book helped him to recognize the spectrum of alcohol's effects, We agreed that society stigmatises the alcoholic to such an extent that we imagine an alcoholic to be a homeless man in the park – this gives us a reason to decide we are not “that bad” so we can carry on drinking! This suits the alcohol industry very well of course! Inspired by his journey, Ken wrote "Bamboozled" to share his experiences and educate others on the hidden dangers of alcohol. One of the things I love about his book is the stories he includes - alcohol parables like "Scott and Mitchell," illustrating how drinking choices in college can impact future success. Ken emphasizes the cognitive and emotional impairment caused by alcohol, affecting decision-making, learning, and long-term success – of course its especially harmful for young brains which are still developing Ken encourages his readers to consider the long-term effects on their lives and potential. He believes in running towards personal growth rather than away from alcohol, recognizing the multitude of benefits gained through sobriety. I love this approach and see our members getting more and more motivated as the benefits of sobriety keep coming! Societal views on drinking are changing, with more and more young people abstaining - For example the latest stats from the UK tell us that 39% of 18-24 people just don’t drink Another of Kens alcohol parables focuses on Sarah and Susan Susan's excessive drinking hinders her career growth, while Sarah's more moderate approach leads to promotion. Hollywood's portrayal of alcohol influences societal perceptions and behaviors – Ken has a whole chapter on this and its fascinating If you haven't yet read Bamboozled then you’re missing out – it’s a really great read, you can buy it from Amazon or you can get it directly from Ken on TheBamboozledBook.com Do check out his 90 day challenge that he mentioned – he’s set up a website for that which is called https://www.dry90.com/ - I’ll put the links in the shownotes You can also follow Ken on Instagram @kenmmiddleton and of course his regular newsletter is called Alcohol is Not Your Friend. More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

My guest Sarah Rusbatch is a Brit living in Oz – she struggled with alcohol dependence for years but finally nailed sobriety and trained as a Sober Coach. She's also written a book called "Beyond Booze" which enables people to build an alcohol free life that we love! In this episode:- Sarah began drinking in her early teens It became a way to fit in and make friends at school and at university We reflected on the drinking culture in the UK during the 90s, influenced by tv series like Sex and the City and the Ladette culture. After moving to Australia and becoming a mother, Sarah felt a bit lost – she struggled to find a new friendship group and turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism. Despite not drinking every day, Sarah realized she had a problem with alcohol when it started affecting her physical and mental health. She shared a painful experience at a party where she lost her balance and fell over, cutting her face A visit to the pharmacy the next day resulted in the shop assistant slipping her the number for a domestic abuse helpline This incident prompted her to start a 21-day detox, which she eventually extended by using various tools such as Annie Grace's Book: which introduced the novel concept of reconsidering alcohol as something other than wonderful! She began to realize the negative impacts of alcohol on anxiety, sleep, weight, and productivity. We discussed Workplace performance and how quitting alcohol can lead to a 30% increase in effectiveness, highlighting how alcohol not only damages our physical and mental health but it prevents us from reaching our potential. Sarah explained how drinking damages the Pillars of Good Health: Alcohol affects various aspects of health beyond direct consumption, such as sleep, exercise, and nutrition, impacting overall well-being. She talked about the Relationship with her Husband: Both were heavy drinkers, enabling each other's habits and avoiding confrontation about their drinking. Her husband Initially stopped drinking for three years, then restarted… he eventually decided to quit again due to realizing the negative impact on his life. This ties in with one of the great tips Sarah shared with us – go alcohol free for a while, collect the data – then make a comparison with how you feel when you drink… do it as an experiment, be a scientist in your own life! Sarahs 3 Benefits of Sobriety: Rediscovery of authentic self, better role modeling for children, and a renewed zest for life which enables her to fulfil her potential. Her tips to get your Sobriety started: Have a clear why and do a 30-day experiment, immersing yourself in the resources, and embrace community support. Sarah's Book and Community: "Beyond Booze" focuses on building a fulfilling alcohol-free life. Its not about how to quit as much as how to build an alcohol free life that you love Find out more about Sarah via her website which is:- www.sarahrusbatch.com More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Mike Waite is working to improve brain health awareness via behavior, nature, and immersive technologies. He teaches about brain health through his podcast which is called the Brain Shaman Mike is American but lives in Japan – he has a pretty wild drinking story about how he ended up in Japan so you won’t want to miss this one! In this episode:- Mike shared his mindblowing story of relocating to Japan while under the influence of alcohol! Sometimes it can be liberating to close down our rational brain and go where alcohol takes us but as Mike emphasised we are playing Russian Roulette and it can be disastrous In fact many people are in prison because alcohol took them to a dark place and they committed a crime in a blackout! We discussed the importance of dismantling the limiting beliefs that we hold about alcohol We need to educate ourselves about the effects of alcohol on the brain and body, including both short-term and long-term consequences. We are both fans of William Porter so if you want to understand the science behind alcohol dependence then his book Alcohol Explained is a great place to start because.. The more we understand about the damage alcohol can do the less inclined we’ll be to drink it! We are “groomed” by the Liquor Industry to want alcohol from a very tender age.. As an example Mike explained that he used to watch movies like American Pie and The Hangover at the age of 12 or 13 – these movies built a strong belief that he would need lots of alcohol to party and have fun Of course the influence of alcohol advertising is even stronger on the teenage brain which is still developing Recognising marketing for the BS that it is takes away the power – I shared my tactic for timing how long we get into a movie before the alcohol comes out We agreed that envisioning a group of cynical marketing executives rubbing their hands together as their sales increase will help us to recognise the manipulation that is taking place on a continual basis We have to use our imagination to redefine associations with alcohol so that when we see it on the shelf we realise its poison We have to cultivate self-awareness and mindfulness to recognize and address underlying reasons for using alcohol, such as stress, anxiety, or social pressure. We agreed on the value of supportive communities and networks, like Tribe Sober, where individuals can connect, share, and support each other in their journey towards sobriety and improved brain health. Mike is experiencing the value of a sober community himself as he goes through our 66 day sober challenge. Mike encourages holistic approaches to well-being that prioritize mental and physical health, emphasizing the importance of sleep, nutrition, exercise, and other lifestyle factors in maintaining brain health and overall wellness. He took us through some alternative coping strategies and activities for relaxation, stress relief, and socializing that don't involve alcohol and emphasized their benefits We have to recognize the social pressure and rebel against it – we need to learn to be a rebel not a sheep – after all its easy to drink – being alcohol free takes confidence and courage! We need to remember the power of fading affect bias: we mustn’t forget the dark places our drinking took us to Tribe Sober has 2 tools to avoid FAB Create a blacklist of negative drinking experiences Write a goodbye letter to alcohol, symbolizing the end of the relationship When we quit drinking we have to channel our energy into positive activities We need to recognize alcohol's role in wasting our time and energy We also need to consider long-term health consequences, including nerve damage and neurodegeneration We discussed the fact that more and more celebrities are sober these days Ironically Bradley Cooper who dazzled the 12 year old Mike with his drunken antics in the Hangover has been sober for 20 years! You can follow Mikes podcast which is called Brain Shaman on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Today’s guest is Sober Coach Carolyn Clark who has an inspiring recovery story to share. Not only is she thriving in her alcohol free life but she’s running sober retreats in Bali! WE never know whats round the corner when we embark on this journeyWe really have to trust the Universe…ditch the booze, do the work… and the magic will happen I bet Carolyn never thought she’s be running retreats in Bali when she was drinking every night! In this episode:- Carolyn started drinking as a teenager to cope with childhood trauma - this escalated as she got older Her father's alcohol-related death prompted her interest in counselling Carolyn experienced some tragic losses in 2016-17 – these led to increased drinking as a coping mechanism – as it got to 6pm she just wanted to numb out the feelings She reached a turning point in December 2020 when she looked in the mirror and saw her brothers face looking back at her – this was her brother who had died from alcohol related causes So she decided to do Dry January She joined a supportive online community, found strength in accountability Carolyn hasn't had a drink since December 31, 2020 Even though she wasn’t even trying she lost a lot of weight by ditching the booze and taking up exercise – I think she said 3 stone which is about 20 kilos or 42 pounds! If you’re interested in how alcohol affects your weight you must have a listen to my podcast with James Stanwick which was released on March 9th – that’s already had more than 2,000 downloads so it obviously struck a chord Carolyn and I agreed that we gain courage to try new things in sobriety – sobriety is a superpower – we get this feeling that if we can do this.. we can do pretty much anything! She decided to train as a sober coach during the second year of sobriety Even though she lost her mother in 2021 she remained committed to sobriety Her 44 year marriage has also ended recently but these days she manages to Cope with her feelings in a healthy way through journaling, beach walks, and expressing her emotions rather than numbing them away with alcohol She also incorporated a yoga practice into her journey of self discovery and body connection These days Carolyn leads retreats in Bali… retreats for sober women who want to connect, heal and thrive You can find out more about Carolyn and her retreats by going to her website which is carolynclarkcoaching.com and she’s also on Instagram as soberhappysixties More Info Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Today’s guest is the wonderful Ann Dowsett Johnston who many of you will have heard of – she is a pioneer of the modern recovery movement and published her book "Drink" back in 2013 – which makes it one of the very first QuitLit books In this episode:- Ann's book Drink has been out for more than a decade and is still selling well – her TED talk has had 1.5m views I did a previous interview with Ann a couple of years ago that you can listen to here. The prologue to the book describes alcohol's seductive charm…and eventual harm I love this analogy and here at Tribe Sober we suggest that our members write a Goodbye letter to alcohol as it evolves from a handsome stranger to an abusive lover Ann predicted the dramatic rise in risky drinking for women, which has sadly come true over the last decade There is an epidemic of female drinking, especially among younger women, with serious health consequences – we are even seeing young women presenting with liver disease The alcohol industry has been targeting women for the last couple of decades – using the tobacco marketing playbook and they’ve been stunningly successful Many of us believed that we couldn’t have fun or relax or cope with stress without alcohol – and it certainly takes a few months to deprogram our thinking, to overturn those limiting belief Ann is from Canada so had first hand experience of the public backlash that the low drinking guidelines (two drinks a week) caused! The reduction in drinking guidelines came as new research was published linking alcohol to cancer and many other health conditions Ann and I both love the modern recovery movement and the many different recovery pathways – I often say that if you want to give up drinking you need to find your people – if you think that Tribe Sober might be your community then go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe Ann mentioned the three levers for change: price, marketing reduction, and availability, but government action is slow and Big Alcohol will continue to use its lobbying power So as individuals we must actively seek out the knowledge – we need to educate ourselves about the harm that alcohol can do to our brains and our bodies Knowledge is power and the more we understand about alcohol the less we’ll feel like drinking it Even if we decide to drink it should be an informed decision, we need to understand the risks Ann talked about her "Writing Your Recovery" courses which offers support and tools for memoir writing. Its a powerful 8-week online memoir-writing course. Starts on 24th April and accommodates various timezones – go to her website annsdowsettjohnston.com for more info – I’ll put the links in the shownotes Ann will also be facilitating a South African writing retreat during week commencing 15th October – you can get on the waiting list for that by emailing [email protected] Ann now has 15 years of sobriety and spoke of the many benefits she has experienced She returned to school at 64 to become a psychotherapist, specializing in women's substance issues and trauma She has a wonderful relationship with her grandchild Ann strongly believes that once we walk away from alcohol remarkable things will happen – the universe has a plan for us – she is awakened to wonder as she puts it She’s built a rich and an alcohol free life that she loves, a life she definitely doesn’t want to escape from! More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Immerse yourself in a riveting episode of Tribe Sober as we chronicle the intriguing journey of Niamh, an Irish singer and mother of three in Spain, who valiantly overcame alcoholism and carved out a fulfilling, alcohol-free lifestyle. Learn how she dared to break free from deceiving social norms buried deep under heavy drinking. Gain profound insights on her transformational journey which entailed struggles, resilience, and understanding the real value of adopting a healthier and nutritious alternative to harmful drinking habits. As her story unfolds, you will witness how she replaced her lethargic, anxiety-ridden persona, marred by insomnia and relentless weight gain, with a motivated and energetic woman thriving in her sobriety. Discover her magical transition as she substituted time spent at the bar with engaging outdoor activities, rekindling her relationships in the process. Come along and join us in this deep and inspiring narrative emphasizing the strong and understanding community of Tribe Sober that stands as a beacon of support in the daunting journey towards sobriety. Be it you are already sober or simply sober-curious, let Niamh’s story inspire you to adopt and maintain an alcohol-free lifestyle. After all, the best way to predict your future is to create it. If you’re interested in doing the Sober66 Challenge which starts on March 20th then click on this link. More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

In this stirring episode of Tribe Sober, we delve into the powerful stories of those who undertook the Sober 66 Challenge. Host Janet Gourand, founder of Tribe Sober, embarks upon the exploration of the exceptional journey of transformation made by participants of the challenge. This is a tale of recovery and hope that inspires listeners to assess their relationship with alcohol. We journey through several inspiring stories where Tribe Sober emerged as a beacon of light, helping individuals revolutionize their attitude towards alcohol. Their initial challenge was a Dry January Fundraiser back in 2016, which gradually evolved into a wider initiative tremendously impacting lives. Laced with candid confessions of past struggles and vivid tales of a life post-challenge, this episode serves as a compelling reminder that altering habits is challenging yet achievable. Meet our guests whose breakthrough to alcohol-free lives are indeed heartwarming! One such guest is a gentleman who undertook the 66-day sober challenge and extended it to six years of sobriety, significantly altering his social dynamics without impacting his family or friends. The other guest, Christelle, testified to the power of replacing alcoholic drinks with their non-alcoholic counterparts. These inspiring tales highlight the benefits of community, support, and readiness to change on one's journey to sobriety. Additionally, the episode is filled with encouraging discoveries from our UK chat community, serving as a much-needed ray of hope for individuals early in their sober journey. Immerse yourself into a world where every triumph, no matter how small, is celebrated, much like how we did with Lisa and Hélène. Tune into Tribe Sober and unlock the power of sobriety! If you’re interested in doing the Sober66 Challenge which starts on March 20th then click on this link. More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

My guest this week is James Swanwick, an Australian-American investor and entrepreneur He is the creator of the Alcohol Free Lifestyle, which helps people change their relationship with alcohol In this episode:- James was a moderate drinker, but after 20 years of consistent drinking, he realized the negative effect on his health and stopped for what was supposed to be a 30-day experiment. That was 13 years ago and he’s been alcohol free ever since! Like many of us James hesitated to quit due to societal conditioning – he associated alcohol with socializing and fun and feared being perceived as dull or boring without alcohol. And indeed… There was some Social Awkwardness for a while - navigating social situations without alcohol felt awkward and he shared a story of pretending to drink alcohol when on a date – this strategy proved to be a mistake when his date discovered he had lied! In spite of the tricky start James was soon embracing his alcohol-free lifestyle openly. We discussed the strong influence of peer pressure and the need for a supportive tribe when quitting alcohol. We are both seeing a societal shift as people acknowledge the health risks of drinking alcohol – which is heading for a cigarette moment. Although drinking alcohol before bedtime may help initially with falling asleep but compromises the quality of sleep, leading to irritability, fatigue, and other negative effects on health. Alcohol's Effects on Sleep and Health: Alcohol consumption can compromise sleep quality, metabolism, and overall health. It can disrupt the body's natural processes, leading to weight gain, reduced productivity, and increased cravings for unhealthy foods. James shared some Benefits of his alcohol-free lifestyle which included improved physical health, mental clarity, productivity, and financial success. I I asked him for his advice for anyone who is struggling to get started on this journey: He suggested starting with a commitment to at least 30 days of sobriety as an experiment, but most importantly be open to extending it to 90 days or longer. We agreed on the importance of Avoiding the stop-and-start cycle and focussing on the long-term benefits of sobriety. Overcoming cultural conditioning and resistance may feel challenging, but taking action building an alcohol free lifestyle will lead to transformative results and a better quality of life You can contact James Swanwick via his website alcoholfreelifestyle.com He’s also on Instagram and has a podcast called Alcohol Free Lifestyle If you’re interested in doing an alcohol free Challenge as an experiment then keep an eye open for Tribe Sobers #Sober66 whih starts March 1st and September 1st More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Last weeks podcast was a Group Discussion on Corporate Drinking and Isabella Ferguson was one of my guests - you can listen to that discussion via this link. Isabella is a former litigation lawyer turned counselor and coach - specializing in stress, burnout, and alcohol. In this episode:- Isabella began drinking at 14, associating it with fitting in, relaxation, and risk-taking. Her drinking escalated during her career as a lawyer, using alcohol for networking, coping with stress, and socializing. We discussed the prevalence of alcohol consumption in high-pressure environments such as law firms, where it is often used as a coping mechanism for stress As Isabella got married and had children her drinking ramped up as she tried to balance work and motherhood – resulting in burnout and strained relationships. She finally hit rock bottom when she became so severely intoxicated that she needed hospitalization, leading to her decision to seek help and enter rehab. Even after rehab, she was still keen to try moderation but eventually shifted her mindset through education, -through books like "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace which encouraged her to change her limiting beliefs around alcohol Isabella transitioned her career to become a counselor and coach, specializing in helping others overcome alcohol dependency and manage their stress These days she conducts seminars in workplaces, especially in law firms, to raise awareness about alcohol consumption and promote healthier habits. Here is a link to our Group Discussion on that topic so that you can hear more about her Wellness Challenge Isabella emphasized the changing attitudes towards alcohol in the workplace, with more focus on wellness and productivity, especially among younger generations. Her tips for managing stress without resorting to alcohol include understanding one's nervous system and triggers, setting boundaries, reframing negative thoughts, and seeking support from sobriety coaches or resources. We discussed the Impact of Personal Choices on Workplace Culture: Whether it’s a heavy drinking boss encouraging his employees to drink or a group of non drinkers abstaining from alcohol there will be an impact on workplace culture Isabellas passion project is around Parenting and Alcohol Education: with the goal of preventing harmful drinking habits from forming at a young age, She emphasized the importance of parents being role models and challenging societal norms surrounding alcohol consumption. Her personal benefits of sobriety include increased calmness and contentment, greater resilience, and being a positive role model for children by demonstrating that alcohol is not necessary for enjoyment and celebration. To find out more about Isabella go to her website isabellaferguson.com.au She is also on IG and has 2 podcasts:- "Destress for Success" and "Not Drinking Today" More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

This week I'm facilitating a discussion between three fabulous ladies - all working in the sobriety space.  Isabella Ferguson: Former litigation lawyer turned counselor and coach specializing in stress, burnout, and alcohol.  Kathryn: Former PR and media professional now running her own coaching business, focusing on coaching high-performing individuals with problematic alcohol relationships - her personal story is here.  Nikki: Former corporate worker in London, now a certified life and leadership coach incorporating mindfulness into her coaching, particularly addressing alcohol addiction - her personal story is here. In this episode:- We discussed the prevalence of alcohol culture in corporate environments, including pressure to participate in after-work drinking events and networking activities centered around alcohol. We shared personal anecdotes, highlighting the normalization of excessive drinking in professional settings and its detrimental effects on mental health, self-esteem, and productivity. Those anecdotes included a story of going into the office after a couple of hours sleep, me getting a career tip from my boss to drink in the BBC club more often and my personal favorite from Nikki – the sandwich man coming round at 11am with his hangover cure snacks. We reflected on how hangovers were viewed as a badge of honor, especially among high-functioning individuals striving to prove their capabilities despite their heavy drinking. In spite of the fact that women cannot physically drink as much as the guys without seriously damaging their health there was pressure to keep up with male counterparts in drinking culture to gain approval and fit into workplace environments. As high functioning alcoholics we convince ourselves to keep the show on the road – both professionally and personally – this comes at a huge cost to our mental and physical health One of the (many) benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle is that we can redirect that energy towards positive endeavors We all have a sense of changing attitudes towards alcohol in the workplace, as companies take more proactive measures in addressing alcohol-related issues among employees. There is a shift towards promoting workplace wellness and inclusivity for non-drinkers Initiatives like Kathryn & Isabella's 30-day workplace wellness challenge to raise awareness about alcohol's impact The 30 day wellness challenge is surfacing a much need dialogue about alcohol in corporates There is a need for comprehensive alcohol policies in the workplace If these policies are carefully worded, produced in consultation with employees they can help to bring about a culture change However they must address the issue without shame and offering support – otherwise the danger is that they will drive the drinking culture underground Education is the key tool in changing attitudes towards alcohol If ambitious executives realised that they could be 30% more effective if they ditched the booze many of them would do it! Even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us it will prevent us from reaching our potential – most employees and certainly all corporates want people to be working at their full potential The key is a recognition of sobriety as a strength rather than a weakness Contact information for Isabella, Kathryn, and Nikki is below:- isabellaferguson.au.com Kathryn is at thealcoholmindsetcoach.com Nicci is at metta365.com Please contact them directly if you think your company could benefits from their input More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed revie

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year. Registration for the current program is open until 21st February - more info here. We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention In this episode:- I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle The Breaking Free program has four components… Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation… The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom. Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session. By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:- The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead. While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace. You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key…. Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it! The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future. The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support. You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call with me so that I can hear your story and give you some personal guidance My colleague Sue will catch up with you midway through the course to get a progress report and Last but not least you can book a session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love.. Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives…. All of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass. While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands…. As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time! Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open until 21st February - more info here. More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

My guest this week is Gigi Langer She’s a presenter, retreat leader, and author of two books to help overcome negative thinking. She holds a PhD from Stanford, She 37 years of sobriety and is also in recovery from falling in love with men called Arthur. In this episode:- Gigi grew up in a family affected by alcoholism, witnessing her father's frequent drinking and arguments with her mother. Gigi initially turned to occasional drinking but in effect preferred marijuana to cope with emotional pain, particularly after her first marriage ended. She pursued a career in education, specializing in helping teachers improve teaching and students' learning. She found herself using romantic relationships as a means of escape and self-medication. A psychologist diagnosed Gigi with early-stage alcoholism, She accepted her addiction and sought help through a 12-step program, joining AA in 1986. Gigi Initially struggled with feelings of shame and self-worth, finding it hard to seek help and admit her problem. However she eventually overcame her reluctance to attend meetings and eventually found a sponsor who provided crucial support. Stayed committed to sobriety, attending meetings regularly, staying in therapy, and addressing negative thinking patterns. Explored self-hypnosis and other methods to retrain her mind and cope with emotional pain. Explored deeper layers of recovery, including addressing false beliefs and childhood trauma through Adult Children of Alcoholics and other support groups – including Women who Love too much We recover in layers which is why we can go deeper as we move through our years of sobriety We also heal in layers which can remove the fear of therapy and “doing the work” In effect it means that we heal at a manageable pace rather than becoming overwhelmed by suppressed emotions Writing and Books: Gigi shared the journey of writing "50 Ways to Worry Less" and "Love More Now" and kindly offered pdfs to anyone struggling financially – go to her website which is www.gigilanger.com – its in the shownotes More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

This week we’re celebrating our 200th podcast episode by taking you through our Top Twelve podcasts – the episodes which have had the most downloads since we started the podcast back in 2020 There's a clip from each podcast as well as the link to the whole episode Or if you’re really organised you can even make them into a playlist! Numbers 10,11 & 12 So coming in with 2,200 downloads each is a trio of ladies who’ve taught our Tribe so much about how our brains work… Author Dr Loretta Breuning, Neuroscientist Staci Danford and Stanford Psychiatrist Dr Anne Lembke It’s important to remember that we are wired for survival rather than happiness and our default state is one of anxiety as we are on the look out for threats.. However once we understand how to trigger our happy brain chemicals we can structure our days to ensure that we get a regular dopamine hit to lift our mood So let’s start with Dr Loretta Breuning who helped me unpack the cause of my own “early sobriety blues” Have a listen to the first interview I did with her which was in August 2021 Loretta also did an interview with me very recently to talk about her new book which is called Why Youre Unhappy – that came out on January 20th this year. The next lady in our trio is neuroscientist Staci Danford who taught us about our Lizard brain and how we need to manage it… she even recommended we give it a name.. she calls hers Ernie! That interview came out in August 2021 Here is a link to that episode The third of our trio is Stanford Psychiatrist Anna Lembke who’s written a top selling book called Dopamine Nation It’s an awesome book which I highly recommend if you are interested in the science of addiction – her explanation of the Pain/Pleasure balance is superb That episode is called Why we get Addicted and came out in November 2023 Here is the link Moving away from neuroscience to number 9 in our Top Twelve In that spot we have Sobriety Coach Lori Massicot – Lori is the host of a podcast called 50 and beyond and like me is convinced that ditching the booze is one of the very best things we can do for ourselves as we get older Her episode is called Why we need to ditch the drink in mid life and came out in December 2021 Here is the link I also did a fun episode with Lori recently when we listed the 15 Signs that you need to take a Break from Booze – signs that Lori and I ignored for far too long! That one was released on January 27th this year Next up we have Melissa Witherspoon – she’s the author of a touching memoir called I’m Sober…So Now What? Melissa has relapsed several times and has some invaluable insights into the various stages of relapse She observed that there are 3 stages of relapse Stage 1 is emotional relapse – not even thinking about drinking yet but observing the triggers that seem to be getting more frequent Stay in Stage 1 long enough without taking action and you may move to Stage 2 which is the mental relapse when you start to feel uncomfortable in your skin – and skip activities like connecting with your sober tribe and sticking to your exercise routine – all things that relieve triggers Stay in Stage 2 long enough and you may move to Stage 3 which is physical relapse when you are back in active addiction The advantage of knowing about these 3 stages are that you can keep your radar sharp for Relapse Warning Signs – all different for different people but you need to be able to pick up if you are feeling a bit “off” as Melissa puts it – keeping a journal is a great way of monitoring your emotions For Melissa it shows up in a lack of self care – if she starts neglecting things like her hair washing routine she will see it as a warning sign and tune in to what’s going on.. Learn more from Melissa by listening to the episode which came out on September 2022 and is called Relapse Warning Signs Here is the link So from the three stages of relapse we go to the 4 stages of alcoholism – a very moving share from Tribe member Vanessa Hilton Barber Vanessa divides her drinking career into phases:- the Fun phase (15-19) the Social phase (19-30) the Fairly Desperate phase (30-39) the I Need to Quit phase (39 onwards) This pattern fits pretty well with Ken Middletons theory that 20 years of regular drinking will result in alcohol dependence Here’s a link to that episode Now we’re up to our Top Six and at number 6 with 2.3 downloads is the brilliant William Porter William is a lawyer with a passion for the science behind alcohol dependence and has written 2 books Alcohol Explained and Alcohol Explained 2 They’re both essential reading and I think the more we understand the damage that alcohol does to our bodies and brains the less likely we are to want to drink it! His episode is called Why we Get Hangxiety and came out in July 2021 Here's the link Next up is another lovely chap who suggests that we identify ourselves as a non drinker…. From Day One He’s called Nigel Jones and is the author of a book called Walking Back to Happiness Nigel’

My guest this week is Sobriety Coach Lori Massicot. Lori was on the podcast back in 2021 and that episode was one of our most popular ones with more than 2,000 downloads. We were talking about why women should quit drinking in mid-life – that seemed to strike a chord with many of our listeners - Here is a link to that podcast I invited Lori back so that we could highlight the signs… The signs that we are drinking too much.. Signs that most of us ignore for as long as we can! Trying (and failing) to moderate has to be a big one… a moderate drinker is someone who might have a glass of champagne at a wedding or a glass of wine with a special meal… alcohol isn’t even on their radar! Once we’ve crossed a line with our drinking there is no moderating, no going back – just going forward and creating an alcohol free life that we love. Creating Rules around our drinking is another classic sign – it’s a sign that we know its getting out of control and that we need to rein it in… to avoid having to give it up altogether which is the ultimate nightmare for most drinkers! Having no “off” switch – however good our intentions are once we’ve had that first glass of wine all the bets are off – as the saying goes “one is too many and a thousand isn’t enough” We drink for the buzz – personally I wasn’t bothered if I was drinking a fine wine or a bottle of plonk – for me it was all about the buzz – I used to drink for the way it made me feel rather than the taste. Waking up at 3am wracked with anxiety – of course that’s when the alcohol is leaving our system so if we’ve been numbing out to avoid thinking about a problem it will reappear with a vengeance at 3am. Drinking alcohol is like pouring gasoline on our anxiety! The shift from drinking to socialise to drinking to self medicate. The normal timeframe is about 20 years… so many woman drink to socialise in their 30’s and 30’s but then as the demands of juggling a career and childcare pile up they rely on it to cope with their stress. If you worry about the prospect of having to quit drinking one day – if that’s your worst nightmare – if you can’t even imagine what your life would be like without alcohol then that’s a sure sign you need to take a break Along with self medicating with alcohol comes the habit of drinking alone – a sure sign that it’s moved away from the fun place to the place of numbing out the strains of the day. You heard Lori saying that she had hangovers that lasted 2 or 3 days – as we get older our bodies struggle to cope with excessive drinking. We have less water in our bodies and become more susceptible to the dangers such as breast cancer. Finding yourself in the Groundhog Day routine of daily drinking is another sign – waking up feeling under par and vowing not to drink that evening. By 5pm you’re feeling quite perky and well up for a glass of wine! If we drink every evening we spend our days in withdrawal from alcohol – that’s why that first glass of wine tastes so good! Increasing level of tolerance is another warning sign. When I started drinking I could get a nice buzz going with a couple of glasses of wine but towards the end of my drinking career I could drink two bottles of wine and not feel a thing! Being very health conscious – doing the yoga, eating organic yet working your way through a bottle of wine in the evening. It’s as if the alcohol is the last piece of the puzzle - although we know if our hearts it’s not good for us we just can’t let it go.. Taking a strategic approach to your drinking is a bit of a give away – I would plan my week on a Monday morning and make sure that I hadn’t scheduled anything too taxing for the morning after a night out! You worry about your drinking! If it’s on your mind then take action – don’t torment yourself any longer – go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. You don’t even need to quit drinking straight away – just listen and learn and get inspired by people who’ve done it. Finally if you’re listening to this podcast and still drinking that’s a bit of a sign that you’re sober curious… so well done if that’s you - carry on listening and learning! More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. W

My guest this week is Dr Loretta Breuning who is the author of The Happy Brain. Loretta was on the podcast back in 2021 and that episode was one of our most popular ones with more than 2,000 downloads. Here is the link to that podcast episode. So she’s back by popular demand and also because she’s just released a new book with an intriguing title:- Why You’re Unhappy: Biology vs Politics In this episode:- Loretta's Background: She is the founder of the Inner Mammal Institute. Author of "Habits of a Happy Brain," focusing on boosting serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphin levels. Shifted from being a college professor in social science to psychology, discovering the role of brain chemicals in animals and its relevance to human behavior. Learned Skill of Happiness: Challenges the notion of automatic happiness, presenting happiness as a learned skill. Questions popular beliefs about automatic happiness in the state of nature and the medical model suggesting unhappiness is a disorder. Default State of Unhappiness: Unhappiness is described as the default state, triggered by perceived threats or obstacles to meeting needs. Importance of Achievable Goals: Emphasizes the importance of small, achievable goals in maintaining dopamine levels. Advises against overwhelming, forever-oriented objectives. Seeking Rewards and Replacements: Discusses the concept of seeking rewards and replacing them when letting go of one, such as alcohol. Highlights the importance of finding inherently rewarding activities. Early Sobriety Blues and Projects: Addresses early sobriety blues and suggests engaging in a project to maintain motivation and prevent the post-goal drop in dopamine. Ongoing Support Groups: Emphasizes the significance of ongoing support groups, social connections, and positive-focused communities for oxytocin release and a sense of protection. Mirror Neurons: Mentions the role of mirror neurons in learning from others' experiences, both positive and negative. Impact of Group Dynamics: Briefly discusses the impact of group dynamics, specifically the common enemy effect, on individuals' well-being. Book Title - "Why You're Unhappy, Biology vs Politics": Challenges the disease model of mental health. Suggests happiness is a learned skill and critiques societal expectations regarding effortless happiness. Antidepressants and Effortless Happiness Model: Briefly touches on the reliance on antidepressants and criticizes the model suggesting happiness should come effortlessly. Empowerment Through Understanding: Emphasizes the importance of empowering individuals, especially young people, by teaching them that happiness is a learned skill. Understanding the brain's chemical processes can lead to greater self-management and personal growth. Connect with Loretta Bruening: Listeners can visit her website (innermammalinstitute.org) and explore various social platforms. She offers a free 5-day Happy Chemical Jumpstart providing insights into rewiring brain chemicals. Loretta's new book is brilliant and I strongly recommend it – called "Why You’re Unhappy: Biology vs Politics" – available on Amazon More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

My guest today is Tribe Member Bontle Ngwana After a couple of decades of problematic drinking Bontle joined Tribe Sober in May 2022 – and hasn’t had a drink since! For some strong people like Bontle it’s simply a matter of making the decision and then connecting with the right community! You heard Bontle say that she was excited about her sobriety journey and that’s just what we say to our new members Don’t be depressed about the thought of ditching the booze Get excited – you’re embarking of a whole new phase of your life! You also heard her saying that she found her coaching with Lynette very helpful…. New members get an intro session with Lynette as part of their membership so yet another reason to join Tribe Sober In this episode:-  Like so many of us Bontles drinking story begins at the age of 18 and escalated during university years  During her 20s and 30s she was busy studying and working but alcohol remained a significant part of her life.  Attempts to moderate were unsuccessful, she began to have blackouts and could sense her increasing dependency.  In her early forties Bontle was faced with the consequences of excessive drinking, including accidents and anxiety.  The COVID pandemic intensified her drinking habits, leading to daily consumption of a bottle of wine or more.  She struggled with guilt, anxiety, and a sense of loneliness associated with drinking.  The relationship with her daughter was affected, with her daughter expressing concern about the drinking.  Bontle had a car accident whilst driving in a blackout – this served as a wake-up call, but the drinking pattern continued.  The turning point came in 2022 after the end of a relationship which led to a period of self-reflection and a desire for happiness.  She began to realize the negative impact that alcohol had had on her life  So May 2022 marked the decision to quit drinking, a decision which was driven by hangovers, exhaustion, and the desire for a fulfilling life.  Bontle joined Tribe Sober attended the Zoom cafes and connected with the community – she found comfort, support and inspiration from others' stories.  Although initially, her motivation to quit drinking was external, focusing on relationships and reducing her anxiety - over time, it shifted to internal reasons, seeking purpose and personal happiness. Bontle is open to connecting with others who may need support via her Facebook or Instagram page More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

After running Tribe Sober for 8 years and helping thousands of people to ditch the drink and embrace alcohol-free living I've learned a thing or two. My biggest insight has been that sharing our stories around alcohol is the most powerful way we can help others - that's why the heart of this podcast is recovery stories. This week I'm doing a solo episode - 10 reasons to do an alcohol free January - and 14 tips to get you through. In This Episode REASONS TO DO AN ALCOHOL FREE JANUARY A dry month is a great way to test your dependency - if you can't get through a month without booze then you need to make some changes Alcohol is so toxic that just taking a month off will have significant health benefits Alcohol is linked to liver disease and 7 different types of cancer - 1 glass of wine will raise your risk of breast cancer by 15% Alcohol will weaken our immune systems - and put us more at risk of becoming infected with Covid 20% of regular drinkers will become dependent over the years - drinking more than a bottle and a half of wine a week may damage your health A month off alcohol will reduce your anxiety, freshen up your looks, help you lose weight and enable you to get some good quality sleep Making a donation to our January fundraiser will give you a dopamine hit (giving makes you feel good) and enable you to receive online and community support for 31 days - you can sign up here SOME TIPS TO GET YOU THROUGH Shake up your daily routine and exercise every day Be ready to cope with your emotions - if you've been numbing your feelings with alcohol they will come to the surface Use a journal to track your progress, note your triggers and process your emotions Listen to music, make a soundtrack for your January Challenge - a real mood changer Have your go-to drinks -drinknil.co.za are offering 10% discount on all their alcohol free drinks for people doing our Challenge Find your tribe - its hard to do this alone - check out our membership program Please donate to our Earthchild Fundraiser - and get 30 days of community and online support - sign up link is here More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

This is the ninth year we’ve done our Annual Fundraiser and thanks to our generous donors we’ve raised nearly half a million rand over the years – that money had provided the gift of yoga to more than a thousand underprivileged children. If ou’re wondering why a disadvantaged child would benefit from yoga then you’re in the right place to learn more from my two guests…. First of all we’ll hear from Janna Kretzmar who is the founder of the Earthchild project - and it’s the Earthchild project who have been the recipient of the funds we’ve raised over the last 9 years Janna is an amazing woman - receiving the "Woman of the Future" award from Santam After Janna we’ll hear from Tribe Sober's Campaign manager Courage Chiringa who will say a few words about his role in the Dry January challenge.. In this episode:- 2024 will be the ninth year that Tribe Sober has collaborated with the Earthchild Project for the Dry January Challenge Founder Janna Kretzmar tells us how she came up with the idea to start the project in 2007 - and why she thinks it's been such a successful project She got the idea after working on an eco project in Brazil and reading a book by a yogi about a project in schools in India - these were her influences She realised that it was important to partner with the schools/teachers for the long term - not just come in for short term projects and then leave Earthchild Clothing paid the salary of their first facilitator so that's how they got their name We talked about the power of positive role models in communities and how she is developing young leaders Earthchild provides yoga classes, gardening lessons, eco clubs, hiking clubs - connecting the children with their bodies and the environment The children come from communities with high levels of gang violence and unemployment - yoga provides a tool to help them cope with stress Some of the children who started yoga classes when they were 6 years old are now young leaders working in the Earthchild Project Tribe Sober campaign manager Courage told us about his visit to the Earthchild project and how he saw the children benefiting from the various activities Coming from a disadvantaged background himself Courage explained how his success in life is partly due to the generosity of his supporters He has every intention of paying it forward and helping his community and he knows that’s what our sponsored children will do in the future Courage reminded us of how the fundraiser worked and that just R250/£12/$16 will sponsor a child for a whole year of yoga classes So whether you are in need of some support or just want to help an underprivileged child then please go to tribesober.com and you’ll see our fundraiser Please help us to make our 9th Annual Fundraiser the best one yet! More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

My guest today is William Porter William is the author of a book called Alcohol Explained and hosts a FB page of the same name. He's a lawyer and previously served in Iraq as a member of the Parachute Regiment. In this episode:- William started drinking and smoking back at the tender age of just 14 and it evolved over the years He became curious about alcohol dependency and started delving into the science and discovering just how harmful it is. Like many of us the more he learned about how harmful it was the less he wanted to drink it! He explained how we end up with hangxiety after drinking. Hangxiety is the term for a hangover with a good dose of anxiety mixed in, caused by chemical changes in our brain which becomes oversensitized after a drinking session. If we drink a bottle of wine every evening, we'll develop a tolerance. So that when we have our first glass of wine, our brain will be registering that the rest of the bottle will be following soon. And that's why it's so hard for us to stop at one glass, and why so many of us say we just don't have an off switch. William talks about cravings, which can be intense, but actually it's a matter of fantasy. You have a thought of a drink, and then you start fantasizing about how it would be, how it would look, how it would taste. And that's why quitting altogether, and not even entertaining these thoughts, is so much easier. He explained that it can take quite a few years to become dependent, but the problem starts when you learn. Either consciously or subconsciously, we learn that after a drink we feel a bit low and then we need another drink to feel better. And by the time we've got to that stage, it becomes very difficult to moderate. Because every drink is giving you a desire for the next one. And once we've realised that another drink will quell the anxiety caused by the previous drink, then we will struggle to moderate. William explained the fascinating concept of FAB. Fading Effect Bias. That tends to happen when we're a few months sober, and we start thinking back fondly to those good old drinking days. We actually forget how bad we were, and how things went horribly wrong sometimes. We just focuse on the good times instead. FAB is really dangerous, because that's when we start having those thoughts Oh I wasn't that bad. Maybe I could just have one glass now and again. Because we feel that we've now proved we're not an alcoholic,. But the trouble with restarting due to fab is that we'll just go back to the previous problematic drinking levels that we were at before. Maybe we can manage to moderate for two or three weeks, but then inevitably we’ll get back to over drinking. William suggested that rather than asking ourselves are we an alcoholic, we should consider whether alcohol is taking away more than it is giving to us. And he came up with a great analogy which described alcohol as a bit of a loan shark. We discussed sober socialising, which we agreed is tough at first, but William reminded me that feeling awkward is normal. Just think of children's parties, where the kids are hiding in their mom's dresses at the beginning and then tearing around the room screaming a couple of hours later. We decided it was a matter of feeling the awkward and doing it anyway. Socializing also becomes easier if we get curious and observe those drinkers. Be an anthropologist. Watch how animated the drinkers are during their first hour of drinking. And then they start talking too loud, standing too close, and of course repeating those stories. Another bonus of being an anthropologist is that we realise that we don't actually want to be like this, so it can be a valuable building block in the wall of our sobriety. We talked about sleep, William's a bit of an expert on this topic and his books cover it in great detail. He explained about how alcohol damages the quality of our sleep. It reduces seven cycles of our valuable REM sleep down to about two. He talked about REM rebound, which is fascinating and explains all those drinking dreams that we get in early sobriety. It's such a myth that alcohol helps you sleep, because in fact it's such poor quality sleep. When you quit drinking, you may well struggle to get to sleep at first, but eventually you will sleep and you'll sleep so much better, and you'll wake up feeling great, which rarely happens in your drinking days. William's advice to anyone struggling to get started was to write a list of all the reasons they want to keep drinking. And then when you analyze those, you'll find that they're actually false beliefs, and you can reverse them. We cover mindset and how you can deal with these kind of limiting beliefs in our Masterclass The easiest and gentlest way to make a start on changing your drinking habits is to become Sober Curious. Learn as much as you can. The more you learn about the toxin that is alcohol, the less you will want to drink it. Read William's books which are available from his website alcoholexpl

Ben Tuff. In 2012 Ben decided to quit drinking and to take up swimming. He became a long distance swimmer and is featured in a documentary called How I Swam my Way out of the Bottle In this episode Ben shares how he:- Started drinking around age 16, initially as a social activity. Escalated to more secretive and excessive drinking over the years. Transitioned to a teaching career with increased responsibilities. Coped with stress through a work-hard, play-hard lifestyle involving heavy drinking. Denied the severity of his alcohol consumption. Employed denial and avoidance to ignore the growing problem. Developed strategic methods to hide alcohol purchases and consumption. Used tactics like obtaining cash back to avoid a record of liquor store purchases. Developed a secretive routine to hide alcohol consumption. Would disguise vodka in vitamin water bottles to conceal drinking. Rock Bottom Moment: Ben describes a pivotal moment when his alcohol addiction caught up with him, leading to a panic attack and a hospital visit. Blood alcohol level prevented immediate admission to the emergency room. The realization that his secret was out marked the turning point towards seeking help and recovery. Detox and Rehab: Ben's decision to go to rehab, supported by his wife, was a crucial step in his journey to sobriety. He spent five days in detox and five weeks in rehab, learning how to navigate a world that felt foreign without alcohol. Early Sobriety: Post-rehab, Ben maintained a strong support system, including a psychiatrist from rehab who remained his psychiatrist. He actively engaged in his recovery, attending AA meetings, and committing to a schedule that included daily meetings and swimming sessions. Sobriety as a Gift: Ben views his journey to sobriety as a gift, recognizing the real, authentic joy and connection he experiences with his family. The contrast between the facade of happiness during his drinking days and the genuine emotions in sobriety reinforced the value of his recovery. Swimming as Therapy: Ben's venture into swimming, initially inspired by a sponsor, became a therapeutic outlet. His dedication to learning and mastering swimming, including open water swims, provided a space for mental processing and connection with a higher power. Documentary "Swim Tough": Ben's decision to participate in a documentary about his journey stems from a desire to make stories of recovery more accessible. The film, titled "Swim Tough: How I Swam My Way Out of the Bottle," aims to highlight the transformative power of recovery rather than just focusing on swimming. Message to Those Struggling: Ben encourages those struggling with addiction to reach out for help without shame, emphasizing the importance of seeking support. Benefits of sobriety He reflects on the positive changes in his life, such as increased energy, a genuine appreciation for simple pleasures like good coffee, and the ability to sleep soundly, as key benefits of sobriety. You can follow Ben via his website which is https://swimtuff.com/ More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

My guest this week was Tribe Sober Team Member Lucy Dentith - Lucy came to a Tribe Sober Masterclass in London in 2018 and has been sober ever since! She's also become an indispensible member of the Tribe Sober Team. In this episode: Importance of a Supportive Community: Having a tribe or a community of like-minded individuals is crucial for sobriety. Joining a supportive group, such as Tribe Sober, can provide encouragement and a sense of belonging. Usefulness of Tracking Progress: The tracker is a useful tool for recording and celebrating sobriety milestones. It should be used as a positive tool for encouragement rather than a means of self-criticism. Tangible Benefits of Tracking: Filling in a tracker, especially a paper one, provides a tangible and visceral sense of accomplishment. Celebrating small successes helps shift focus from negative thoughts to positive achievements. Finding Your "Why": Understanding why you want to change and focusing on the positive benefits helps in times of difficulty. A clear sense of purpose and positive motivations make the journey of change easier. Reframing Challenges as Opportunities: Viewing challenges as opportunities for positive change reframes the mindset. Sobriety is not a loss but an opportunity to gain a wonderful life with better health and relationships. Gaining More Than Losing: The worries about losing things due to sobriety often turn out to be unfounded. Sobriety brings numerous gains, including improved physical and mental well-being. Community Support and Celebrating Success: The importance of community support, such as Zoom Cafés, in celebrating and cheering for each other's successes. Helping others find healthy coping strategies and sharing success stories creates a positive and encouraging environment. Tips for Early Sobriety, Especially During the Festive Season: Plan Ahead: Plan activities and responses to challenging situations. Be Curious: Approach the sobriety journey with curiosity and self-reflection. Visualize Success: Envision positive outcomes and focus on enjoyable aspects of events. Choose Happiness: Opt for happiness over being right in arguments. Have an Escape Plan: Plan exit strategies if social situations become challenging. Starting the Sobriety Journey: Take the First Step: Acknowledge the need for change and start with small goals. Be Curious: Embrace curiosity as a companion in sobriety. Progress, Not Perfection: Understand that setbacks happen, and progress is more important than perfection. Continuous Learning: Keep developing coping strategies and seek support through coaching and reading. Healthy Coping Strategies: Learning to cope without defaulting to drinking is essential for long-term sobriety and personal growth. More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

My guest today is Dr Anna Lembke who is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford – she’s also the author of a best selling book called Dopamine Nation. In this episode:- Anna began by defining Dopamine for us: - it’s a neurotransmitter which is central to pleasure, reward, and motivation, and plays a crucial role in addiction. One of the most exciting findings in neuroscience is that the same parts of the brain that process pleasure also process pain, and they work like opposite sides of a seesaw or a balance. In Anna’s book Dopamine Nation you’ll find some great illustrations which demonstrate the pleasure-pain balance and which feature little pain gremlins hopping on and off the see saw! There are 3 rules governing this balance Rule no 1. The brain will always seek homeostasis as the neutral position Rule no 2. Repeated exposure to alcohol can result in a chronic dopamine deficit - which is in fact the definition of addiction Rule no 3. The brain remembers addictive behaviours which means that a single exposure can result in relapse –that’s why moderation never works once we’ve crossed the line into dependence To quit drinking Anna recommends beginning with a dopamine fast, a 30-day period of abstaining which will allow the brain to restore homeostasis. The first 10-14 days will be spent in withdrawal so will be difficult but that difficult stage is going to pass so The key is to keep going – rather than stopping and starting which just means doings that really difficult bit again and again! Genetic vulnerability plays a role in addiction, - An alcoholic parent means you’re 4 times as likely to develop a dependence But remember that "genetics may be the gun but your lifestyle is the trigger" – you can break the generational pattern Our brains were wired for survival in a world of scarcity but they don’t fit quite so well in this modern world of abundance… and that’s why so many people become addicted Anna recommends engaging in what she calls hard things, like exercise or cold water immersion, which can indirectly increase dopamine levels and provide a sense of reward. For example regular gym sessions will trigger the feel-good neurotransmitters I asked Anna why support groups work so well and she explained that the genuine connections in recovery communities release both dopamine and oxytocin so If you’re looking for a recovery community to keep your dopamine flowing as you tackle this journey then just go to ts.com and click on join our tribe We also discussed the early sobriety blues – that low mood that can strike a few months into sobriety I certainly went through a period of feeling very low and uninspired in early sobriety – plenty of time on my hands but no idea what to do with it - a period I referred to as the void Anna says that tolerating the void is an important part of the human experience which can lead to bursts of creativity – that certainly happened in my case but certainly it took a while We now advise Tribe Members to get a project if they get the early sobriety blues – something to keep the mind busy and engaged - rather than sitting around waiting for happiness to strike! In fact we discussed the unrealistic societal expections to be happy all the time – these expectations can lead to people to believe that they are sick if they’re not happy This reminded me of my conversation with neuroscientist Staci Danford who believes that unhappiness is our default and that happiness is a learned skill – a link to that podcast is here As Anna said we have to recognise that life is full of pain and to be alive means sometimes we have to suffer I explained that at Tribe Sober we try to focus on what we gain in recovery, rather than what we lose – a reframe that Anna agreed is essential for success One of her tips for managing cravings was to intentionally engage in activities that press on the pain side of the balance. - that made me think of one of our members who used to take a cold shower every time she got a craving – I used to think that was a bit strange but in fact she was doing exactly the right thing! Those of us who have drunk heavily for decades may have damaged parts of our brains but in recovery we are rewiring the brain so new neural pathways are developing around those areas We agreed that a relapse is not the end of the world as so much learning will have taken place during our recovery – the key of course is to get right back on track as quickly as possible To learn more about Dr. Anna Lembke, you can read her book "Dopamine Nation" and explore her other publications, including "The Drug Dealer M. D." More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored

We run our live Group Masterclass just four times a year and are often asked to provide a recording.... so we've done it! The Masterclass recording is available now. The 3 hour Masterclass recording is split up into digestible sections and includes written exercises. Our Masterclass Intensive online course is a deep dive into this fascinating topic - 7 detailed modules to work through at your own pace. Intro session with Janet , Midcourse review with Sue and a coaching session with our Coach Lynette at the end. More info about our courses here. In this episode:- During this solo podcast I'm giving you a flavour of our Masterclass with a tour of our Toolkit tried and trusted toolkit - here are the 15 tools! CONNECT with other people on the same path because connection is the opposite of addiction – if youre not yet in tribe sober then please go to our tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” for more info EXERCISE get moving – you may feel flat when you quit drinking so trigger your endorphins with exercise – at least an hour a day GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE – no more numbing out your feelings, personal growth and emotional maturity will come from that discomfort CHANGE YOUR MINDSET –remember this journey is not about willpower – its about changing your thinking about drinking – tackle your limiting beliefs around alcohol and your desire to drink will diminish VISUALISE – if you are tempting to drink just play the movie forward – what will happen if you have that drink you are longing for – you will enjoy it but what happens next? Play the movie forward, you know the ending isn’t pretty! KNOWLEDGE IS POWER so learn everything you can – listen to podcasts, read the quitlit, take our Masterclass – the more you learn about the toxic effects of alcohol the less you will feel like drinking it! BE ACCOUNTABILE – Tribe Sober members are in accountability groups according to their length of sobriety and we have a weekly check in at the Zoom Café. Write a Goodbye to Alcohol letter or start a blog. FIND A PROJECT – the early sobriety blues may hit after a few months – to combat your low mood you need a project to keep your happy brain chemicals triggered. Start exploring projects so you can dive into it if you are hit by a low mood. KEEP A JOURNAL – write your why list in the front – your why list will keep you motivated on track. Use your why list to identify your triggers, process your emotions, record the benefits you are experience and to track your progress. BE PREPARED – try lots of Alcohol Free drinks until you find your favourite. Fill your fridge with alcohol free drinks. Play the movie forward when you socialise – what will you drink and what reason will you give for not drinking! TRACK YOUR PROGRESS – every time we mark off a day as alcohol free we’ll get a dopamine hit – Tribe Sobers Annual Tracker is brilliant for keeping perspective and watching your progress. If you’d like one of our trackers just email Sue [email protected] STAY BUSY – when you quit drinking you’ll have time on your hands so plan how you will use that time. Try out new activities and interests, start looking for that project – don’t just sit around wishing you could drink and waiting for FOMO to strike! BE READY FOR TRIGGERS! – when you get a craving to drink take a pause and breathe… the Power is in the Pause – be curious about the trigger and then get our your journal - analyse WHY you got a craving – write about it in your journal and decide how you will deal with it next time. DO THE WORK – Prioritise your sobriety – your recovery will be the foundation on which you can build the rest of your life. Make it your focus for 3 – 6 months – do the work and your reward will be a healthier and happier future. FIND YOUR PURPOSE – once we stop drinking we reconnect with who we are and what we really want to do with our lives. We’re not put on earth to be happy 24/7 – we’re put on earth to find meaning and purpose. More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikT

Nicci Cloete is a coach, a facilitator, a mindfulness and yoga teacher. She’s also been in recovery for ten years In this episode:- Nicci experienced trauma in her early teens when her family had a home invasion – she was raped at the age of 13 She had medical and legal support but this was in the 80’s and there was no attention paid to the mental health impact. A few days off and then Nicci was expected to return to school and carry on. She turned to alcohol – stealing booze out of her parents wine cabinet – helped her to numb her pain and cope with the difficult emotions and the flashbacks – of course she had PTSD although it wasn’t diagnosed. In the morning Nicci would grab a bottle of wine and drink it before going to school, arriving drunk at school. She was developing the skill of drinking undercover and nobody called her out on it. In spite of the drinking she kept up with her schoolwork, became head of house and got the grades she needed to go to university Once she got to university there was no longer any need to be secretive as everybody drank although she did notice that not everybody drank like she did, not everybody was having blackouts After graduating Nicci went to London and worked in recruitment – very much a work hard play hard culture. Working from 7am to 7pm and then going to the pub to get hammered with her colleagues. Still suffering from blackouts and sometimes not remembering how she got home When she moved into a flat with a guy and his fiancé she did a lot of drinking on her own when she was in her room. The next morning she would emerge from her solitary binge perfectly groomed, looking like she had it all together. We agreed that it takes a huge amount of energy to keep the show on the road – to hold down a responsible job with a crashing hangover. Nicci moved to California where her wine habit continued Yoga had always been an important part of Nicci’s life and she was alternating between doing yoga and drinking her wine. When she returned to South Africa she was thrilled to discover that she was pregnant and immediately stopped drinking….for the first time in 20 years… And it wasn’t difficult at all! However once her babies had finished breastfeeding she started drinking again and got into the mommyjuice scene Once her children were sleeping she would dive into the wine Every morning she would wake up and vow not to drink that night but of course her resolution would always crumble She was in the groundhog day of daily drinking Like many of us Nicci would be able to drink normally at social events but once she got home she would carry on drinking on her own. Nicci’s turning point came one New Years Eve when she announced to her husband that she would be doing a Dry January… she got drunk on New Years Eve The next morning her husband announced that he would be taking their children away if she didn’t quit. That was her wake up call She went to a GP who was very straight with her –telling her that the alcohol would destroy her if she didn’t take control Nicci came out with a great analogy about moderation – trying to moderate when you’re an alcoholic is like getting into a boxing ring where you are going to get knocked o ut every time. You can duck and dive and try to avoid getting hit but at some stage you’ll get the sucker punch. The only way to avoid this is not to step into the ring in the first place! Nicci got some help and did the work – she realised that she would have to lift the veil and see that her marriage was unfulfilling, that motherhood was hard and that she would have to face up and process the demons from her childhood trauma. We talked about how our emotional maturity stalls when we start to drink heavily Sitting with our feelings is the hard thing – the mature adult hard stuff which we must do One of the things that really helped Nicci was being aware of the Recovey Timeline – as she said there are many variations of this but as a rule of thumb:- 0-15 days in withdrawal 15-45 pink cloud with dopamine levels spiking 45 to 90 days + the wall which is when a low mood might strike Beyond 90 days you start regularising your neurotransmitters and things begin to feel manageable We both agreed on the crazy system in some rehabs where they keep you in for a few weeks and then discharge you just as you hit the wall… Nicki shared that people often tell her that she is so strong for quitting alcohol….. but as she said the life of a functioning alcoholic is also hard – keeping the show on the road with a stonking hangover! Coping with an ever increasing dependence and all the health issues that come along with alcohol That’s hard! So it’s a matter of choosing your hard…yes it’s hard to be sober for those first 90 days but if you stick at it your life will start changing in such a positive way as you become healthier and happier Nicci is passionate about coaching and loves the fact that we all have the answers within us As a coach her role is to help her client tap into t

My guest today is Brendon Watt who overcame his alcoholism to become a worldwide speaker, best-selling author and facilitator In this episode:- Brendon grew up in Australia, within an unstable family and a lot of abuse. His father had a formula for what a man should be, emphasizing the importance of being tough and having a trade. Brendon tried to conform to these expectations by working in construction but by his late 20’s he was totally depressed. By trying to gain his fathers love and respect he lost himself and knew the life he was leading was not the right life for him By chance he discovered a technique called Access Consciousness and decided to give it a try Brendon booked a session and spent an hour and a half sobbing as he released his buried emotions He was so inspired by the Access Consciousness process that he trained to be a facilitator and began to make some positive changes in his life However he was still struggling with alcohol, which he saw as his “back door” – his escape This made me think of Glennon Doyle who talks about using alcohol as the “easy button” to avoid emotional discomfort Like so many of us Brendon spent years trying (and failing) to cut down on his drinking – trapped in an endless cycle of stopping and starting Brendon eventually hit rock bottom and decided to go to AA Although he was terrified of losing his back door escape he persevered He attended lots of AA meetings, and worked with a sponsor. He realised that he was going to have to go through some painful stuff, including stuff from his childhood that was very difficult to face… He realised that going through this pain would result in personal growth He did the work and gradually his life began to change We agreed that the journey to sobriety is a process that leads to freedom and a more authentic life. We also agreed that getting sober was just 10% of the journey but that it was the essential part – without sobriety we cannot tackle the rest of the work and learn to thrive When we quit drinking we need to take responsibility for our happiness – we can no longer rely on alcohol for those chemical highs Happiness is a learned skill and if you want to learn how to keep your happy brain chemicals firing then listen to last weeks podcast with neuroscientist Staci Danford Sobriety also enables us to consider other parts of our life.. are we eating healthily, does our exercise plan need stepping up… are we in the right job, the right relationship? If you need some help to look at your life and decide what needs changing then check out Glennon Doyles book and journal – called Untamed – some great triggers for those big scary questions in there! When I first realised that I would have to quit drinking I saw sobriety as a punishment but Brendan and I both agreed that in reality sobriety is a gift The journey to sobriety allows individuals to deconstruct their lives and build them anew, something regular drinkers may not experience. At Tribe Sober we recommend a book by Laura McCowen – the title is "We are the Luckiest" which says it all really Another quit lit book title that says it all is "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" by Catherine Gray Our conversation touched on the importance of honesty, integrity, and Brendon gave us a great example of catching himself in a lie – realising that when he was drinking the lies would come automatically We discussed the misconception that external sources, such as money or substances, can create happiness. Brendon used to think that when he had a certain amount in his bank account he would be happy – he got there but it didn’t make him happy! Brendan described his work with Access Consciousness, a program that empowers individuals to find the answers within themselves and discover their strengths. He highlighted the importance of people acknowledging their unique gifts and the potential for change. You can find out more about brendon via his website brendonwatt.com More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram Thank you for listening! Till Ne

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Staci Danford - this is the second time she has been on the podcast - you can have a listen to our previous conversation here. Staci is a neuroscientist who loves working with the sober community. In this episode she shares some really practical and useful information about our brain. In this Episode Staci’s husband walked out on her just before her 50th birthday – she was devastated at the time but now the years have passed she is able to look back and see that event as a catalyst for change… a real Wake Up Call Realising that she must take responsibility for her own happiness she went to grad school to study neuroscience Staci has no issues with alcohol but her father was an alcoholic – the whole family had tried to convince him to stop for years but only when he decided to stop himself did it work.. We talked about rehab and Staci explained that the success rate is a shockingly low 13.8% She explained that our brain tricks us into thinking that alcohol is making us happy but in fact it is a depressant – if you’ve been drinking for years then the alcohol will have altered the balance of your brain which is why you become increasingly dependent. When we understand how our brains work we can work with it – and that’s when the magic will happen – a great analogy is to think of how we use our computers – we work with programs that are installed in our computers – not against them! Understanding our brains means that we can understand ourselves better and see what we are gaining by ditching the drink – we need to create a “pattern interruptor” We mustn’t try to alter multiple habits at the same time – far better to focus on just the one Here at Tribe Sober we say “Just chase one rabbit at a time – if you chase several the chances are that they will all escape!” Staci advises that we focus on our successes “today I resisted a drink” and don’t look too far into the future (or avoid the F word as we say at Tribe Sober!) If you listened to Tribe Sober podcast episode 55 which was called “The Happy Brain” with Loretta Breuning, you may remember that she recommended setting an overall goal and dividing it up into smaller goals – this will keep our happy chemicals flowing as just aiming for a mini goal will trigger dopamine and of course we’ll feel good when we reach it. Staci is in agreement with Loretta and used the marathon analogy – if we sign up for a marathon we don’t immediately go out and try to run 26 miles – we design a training program and divide it into daily sessions – running a bit further every day.. You can find a great example of this on Episode 15 of the Tribe Sober podcast with one of our Sober Springers Kai – he did SS, achieved 66 AF days, then aimed for 100days, then 6 months, then a year – and now 3 years later he still hasn’t had a drink – but still doesn’t say its forever! Staci explained how our primitive lizard brain will go on autopilot unless we intervene – she calls her Lizard Brain Earl and calls him out if he tries to hijack her behaviour! She confirmed that our 66 day Sober Spring Challenge is long enough to create a new neural pathway to change our drinking patterns She also said that the “secret sauce” of Sober Spring was the community support We discussed the fact that our “drinking neural pathway will always be with us (if we’ve been drinking for years) – and that its easy to reactivate if we start trying to “moderate” after a period of sobriety. Staci loves our Goodbye to Alcohol letters and suggests reading them regularly to remind ourselves how bad the drinking got! She came up with a list of quick tips to boost our happy chemicals We start our annual 66 day challenge in September - called Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be Sober Autumn as well Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We r

My guest this week is Kathryn Elliott who has been interviewed for a previous podcast focussing on Binge Drinking Kathryn and I were both heavy drinkers…. and we’ve both had breast cancer These days we are both sober… and passionate about empowering other women with the knowledge they need about the link between alcohol and breast cancer. Knowledge which will make them think twice next time they think about having a drink. In this episode:- We talked about binge drinking which many of us get into when we are teenagers… and then keep the habit going until we are much older For example Kathryn was a binge drinker from the age of 15 to 46! Through her work as an alcohol mindset coach she has discovered that binge drinkers share similar traits:- A) Started binge drinking at an early age B) Celebrated by their peers and society for this behaviour C) Their binge drinking not perceived as a problem… more a rite of passage We agreed that many people are unaware of the definition of binge drinking – they tend to think it’s about the kids knocking back 15 tequila shots in a nightclub but in reality it’s more likely to be an older woman sitting at home alone drinking a bottle of wine. So to be clear the definition of a binge is 4 standard drinks on one occasion for a woman and 5 for a man If we are binge drinking on a regular basis our liver will not get adequate time to recover – which is why low risk guidelines suggest going alcohol free for several days a week Kathryn explained the psychological profile of a binge drinker - a fast drinker, without an off switch, often blacking out and unable to get control of it over many years in spite of setting rules. We also agreed that willpower was ineffective when trying to control binge drinking – so many of us have tried "the rules" – I’m only having 2 glasses of wine tonight etc but once the first glass is drunk all the bets are off! The only thing that will work is a mindshift, working on our limiting beliefs so we can see alcohol for the poison that it is Kathryn and I are both breast cancer thrivers and we were equally shocked with our diagnosis - neither of us had any idea that there was a link between alcohol and breast cancer Kathryn began to do her own research into the link and was shocked by what she found… also shocked as she realised that this was never a topic of conversation with her friends nor had she ever seen a health campaign highlighting this She was also shocked to discover that even low to moderate amounts of alcohol will increase our risk of breast cancer Just 3 standard glasses of wine a week can increase the breast cancer risk by 15% Each additional drink will add another 10% to that risk During her research Kathryn came across an American campaign called "Drink Less for your Breasts" which was impressive and had so much information The research was showing patterns… links between early binge drinking habits that could show up as breast cancer later i Both Kathryn and I had estrogen driven breast cancer – and alcohol does increase the amount of estrogen in the system We agreed that the lifestyle choice to be alcohol free that we have both taken feels empowering… We can’t guarantee that we’ll never get a recurrence of our cancers but we can be confident that we are doing everything we can to avoid it So Kathryn and I chatted about our binge drinking and our breast cancers and then moved onto our third topic which is educating corporates about the health risks of alcohol Kathryn is running seminars for leaders and employees in workplaces to help them understand how alcohol impacts their emotional, mental and physical health. I think this kind of initiative is well overdue and certainly would have welcomed it during my corporate career which involved a work hard/play hard culture! A lot of Kathryn’s clients are executives who’ve had alcohol issues which had either been enabled through the workplace or had been completely ignored. That prompted Kathryn to go into workplaces and approach the topic of alcohol, bringing it into a conversation about, wellness, mental health and productivity. Such a brilliant way to start an ongoing dialogue about the subject She gives practical tips about taking a break from alcohol and mindful drinking as well Kathryn also shares her personal story which a lot of people can relate to She currently promoting a "Sip Smart" campaign for the festive season so do contact her if you think your workplace would benefit from more awareness around this topic Workplaces are also getting more diverse which means a lot of employees don’t drink so events need to be inclusive and offer a wide range of non alcoholic drinks as well I asked Kathryn whether it had been a hard sell to convince companies to let their staff watch her talks and webinars She explained that so long as she’s not telling people they drink too much and/or they must quit the management are quite comfortable with her just sharing information A lot of the people she ta

My guest today is an extraordinary young man – his parents were both heroin addicts and he became an addict himself. His rock bottom included jailtime, homelessness and self mutilation. In the episode Both of Jared’s parents were drug addicts but although life was chaotic they did manage to parent Jared until they got arrested when he was 12 years old Then he went to live with his aunt who “rescued” him as he put it Sadly his mother died of her heroin addiction when he was 14 years old which led to him using alcohol to cope with the pain of losing her Jared describes himself as a “functioning alcoholic” from the age of 15 years old At the age of 18 he started using Oxycontin as he was very against heroin due to his parents' experience He didn’t know what Oxycontin was but it was a pill made by a pharmaceutical company so he assumed it was safe He quickly became addicted and discovered that its very similar to heroin and in fact he switched to heroin Whereas alcohol had helped him feel more confident and enable him to socialise heroin completely numbed his feelings As he says cocaine or acid can amplify emotions whereas with heroin he felt he was purchasing 12 hours of oblivion Jared continued to use heroin but as he puts it “ the effects diminished as the consequences increased” These consequences included selling his possessions to get heroin and by the age of 22 he was homeless and living on skid row Heroin was still effective in completely numbing him from reality – the reality that he was homeless, penniless and without a family member to turn to… However by the age of 25 reality was getting through so he began taking multiple drugs to block it out The consequences got more serious and he ended up spending time in jail and suffering serious health problems He would black out and wake up with injuries – once he lost a toe, another time he woke up with a serious facial injury That was when he finally decided to consider the idea of getting clean He managed to get sober via a state funded rehab where he lived for four months There are only four state funded rehabs in California and many more for profit rehabs On the subject of rehabs Jared gave us some shocking information about corruption in the rehab industry, Quote from one of Jareds article “the rehab industry has become nothing more than a glorified insurance scam with a terrible success rate… ..despite making billions upon billions of dollars Can you imagine paying $30,000 for something that doesn’t work 90% of the time? Yet new rehabs are popping up almost daily with no sign of slowing” When Jared got clean he longed for tangible things, he wanted a job and somewhere to live… he had no idea of the intangible benefits that would come his way – a sense of self worth, the ability to love himself and the joy that comes from helping others Apart from helping others to get clean Jared is influencing policy decisions and feels there is currently a political will to change the current situation People and companies are leaving California which is reducing tax income, forcing politicians to come up with solutions That’s why he feels that politicians are open to dialogue with someone like him… someone who understands addiction and homelessness from the inside Jared has plenty of ideas to bring about social change which he writes about in his book the Crooked Smile which will be published in 2024 His articles can be read via Substack, he is on TW @jaredklickstein and his email is…[email protected] More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed r

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year. Registration for the current program is open until 13th October - more info here. We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention In this episode:- I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle The Breaking Free program has four components… Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation… The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom. Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session. By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:- The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead. While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace. You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key…. Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it! The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future. The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support. You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call with me so that I can hear your story and give you some personal guidance My colleague Sue will catch up with you midway through the course to get a progress report and Last but not least you can book a session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love.. Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives…. All of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass. While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands…. As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time! Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open until 13th October - more info here. More Info Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

My guest today is Recovering Attorney Lily Lily was my guest on the episode which came out on May 6th – its already had 2,000 downloads and we had some great feedback from that one – if you missed it then have a listen to Lily sharing her story here Lily is a coach these days and one of the things that she helps people with is Relationship Coaching so today we’re going to focus on Sober Dating If your romantic relationships have always been lubricated with alcohol then this could be a skill you’ll need in your toolkit as you build your alcohol free life In this episode:- Lily’s full drinking story can be found on our previous episode which came out in May but she gave us a summary She began her drinking career as a teenager and it continued during her legal career. She became a daily drinker, frequently drinking alone and experiencing blackouts At 37 she reached rock bottom – in fact as she says in her previous interview she had a series of rock bottoms, one of which involved drinking alone in her apartment all weekend She felt hopeless, useless and miserable and finally reached out for some help Reaching out for help is actually the hardest step of all - so if you’re worried about your drinking then reach out to tribe sober today – just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe and we’ll show you how to quit drinking and build an alcohol free life you love So Lily got sober in 2018 and she’s been sober ever since – if you want to hear how she did it catch the previous episode As we switched to talking about relationships Lily explained that she’d been shy as a child so as a teenager alcohol helped her to fit in – to feel part of things It helped her to feel prettier, funnier and more vivacious, especially around men As she got older alcohol would always be a major player in her relationships She would drink before the date… which often took place in a bar If her dates didn’t drink like she did then that could be a problem Lily believed that alcohol made everything a bit brighter, a bit easier and less awkward – she just couldn’t imagine her life without it She certainly couldn’t imagine dating without it! During her first year of sobriety she didn’t date at all She believed the advice she had heard about focusing on sobriety and avoiding any major life changes during that first year. Major life changes like changing jobs, moving house and of course starting a new relationship Lily had to focus on learning to love and look after herself before she would be in an emotional state to look after someone else She had the insight that she had been using men a bit like she’s been using alcohol – the highs of a new relationship giving her a dopamine hit and making her feel good just like alcohol did As Lily moved into her second year of sobriety she went on her first sober date She knew the guy, they both liked and respected each other and they had things in common Although that relationship didn’t develop into anything serious Lily felt proud of herself – proud that she had shown up as a very different person By this point she felt so much clearer about who she was, what she wanted and what kind of person she was looking for We talked about the risk of relationships between people in recovery and how they can crash and burn The common struggle may create a bond which means you feel that you’ve found your soulmate but it makes sense for you both to get that year of sobriety first to avoid any risk of relapse We talked about the dangers of cross addiction and how we can transfer our love affair with alcohol to food or shopping or sex I asked Lily how a sober person should start looking for a new relationship once they had completed their first alcohol free year Apparently there are sober dating apps/websites – in fact a quick google search came up with a list of 8 sober dating apps which I’ll add to the shownotes https://resurgencebehavioralhealth.com/blog/8-best-sober-apps-for-people-in-recovery/ Although Lily met some good people via dating apps when she was drinking these days she feels more comfortable getting to know people first via a shared interest or through friends We talked about the best way for sober people to use the regular dating apps and agreed that it’s far better to disclose that you don’t drink alcohol in your profile – even if you get fewer matches it’s far better to know in advance that your sobriety may be a problem for some people! The people who don’t match with you because of your sobriety are very likely to have a drinking problem themselves so they would not be right for you anyway! First dates very often involve sitting across from each other eating and drinking but as Lily says an experiential date will take a lot of the pressure off – taking a walk, going to a dog park, going out for breakfast One of her best first dates was a trip to a museum I asked Lily what she had learned from her experience of sober dating She’s learned to listen to her intuition – that gut feeling that tells h

Belle got sober back in 2012 and was one of the first people in the Sober Space, one of the first to share her own story and to try and help others to make a change… In this episode:- Belle was not interested in alcohol as a teenager, she’d actually noticed what it did to people and didn’t like what she saw As she got into her twenties she started to drink the odd beer Interestingly she would never buy a six pack – somehow she knew it was a better idea to buy a single beer at a time Way before she had developed any level of dependence she recognized that alcohol “spoke to her” as she put it… A decade later her consumption stepped up until she was drinking four or five times a week, three or four drinks at a time As she hit 30 she was finding it harder to moderate She started taking AF beers to social events and alternating between her alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks A decade later she decided that she needed to take a break from alcohol to prove that she wasn’t an alcoholic In her late 30’s Belle got married and felt she had a “partner in crime” as she put it Drinking wine with dinner at home and ordering a bottle when they were out didn’t seem at all excessive They would order wine by the case and it felt very “grown up” and sophisticated Belle’s husband drank the same amounts that she did but in fact he didn’t think about alcohol in the same way that she did This realization actually didn’t surface until she quit when she realized that he could take it or leave it – he was a “normie” as she puts it Belle was used to taking a few days off the booze now and then when her workload got heavy or she had to get up early but when she decided to quit for a month she only got to 7 days That was when it hit her that she might have a problem Her second attempt at taking a month off alcohol also failed so she decided she had to approach this differently A friend of hers sent her an anonymous blog from someone who was trying to quit Belle loved the idea of blogging… and getting responses from people who were on the same path She created a blog on wordpress and posted her first entry She got an encouraging response the next day and found it “surprisingly helpful” People were giving her advice and confirming that yes those first couple of weeks were hard and suddenly she realized she wasn’t alone There was actually a roadmap to this sobriety journey! Back in 2012 there were no real alternatives to AA or rehab She had never felt “bad enough” for those options so imagined she would just have to struggle along as a grey area drinker Her blog was such a revelation that she wasn’t alone in this and that there were other people out there who she could connect with She blogged for a year and then started to offer online support via daily emails I asked Belle for her personal benefits of sobriety and she listed sleep, being able to count on herself and feeling proud of herself – for making such a big change with a ripple effect. Her anxiety and irritability reduced and overall she was surprised at the positive impact this change had made to her life She remains unconcerned about questions about her alcohol free lifestyle as she feels that people are actually not that interested If asked she just says “I’m not drinking these days as it was affecting my sleep” and finds that nobody ever takes it further… In 2016 she wrote a book called Tired of Thinking about Drinking which was the name of her blog If you’re familiar with Belle’s work then you will know all about Wolfie – that was the name she gave the voice in her head urging her to drink I loved Belle’s analogy about the toddler in the supermarket yelling for a donut…. If you give him a donut he will just repeat that behaviour next time… The trick of course is to deny the donut that first time and even though it might get noisy and embarrassing in the supermarket the child is unlikely to repeat the behaviour as it didn’t work So we have learn to say no to Wolfie – say no to that voice in our head telling us we can have a drink! So what can we learn from Belles inspiring story…? Just like Belle so many of us try to take a short break to prove we are not alcoholic! I think that accounts for the popularity of Dry January… most people can grit their teeth and white knuckle it through 30 days using willpower alone but of course making a permanent change is about changing our mindset So many of us realise that we do have a problem with alcohol when we try to take a break and find it really hard – that’s why it’s so important to take regular breaks Belle uses the analogy of underwater swimming, as she says we can hold our breath but we'll only get so far…without tools, strategies and support it's going to be hard for many people to clock up more than 7-9 alcohol free days We agreed that a 30 day break is just not long enough to learn anything or to experience any real benefits – that’s why we offer our 66 day Challenge which you can start anyday in September – just go the tribesobe

My guest today is Kirsty Mulcahy from Soberbuzz Scotland Her work is focussed on supporting people to go alcohol free – she also coaches people who are sober and are asking themselves what comes next… In this episode:- Kirsty started drinking at the age of 14 The first night she drank she ended up in hospital having her stomach pumped That one weekend changed the trajectory of Kirsty's schooling Previously she’s loved school and was doing well but after the stomach pumping incident she hung out with the people she’d been drinking with – she needed to “fit in” We agreed that even when we get older we still have the need to fit in and one of the fears of quitting is around out identity – who will we be if we don’t drink! Who will my people be? We agreed that we are both blessed to be working in the recovery community where we have found our people and get purpose from helping people to change their lives Kirsty left school early and went to leave abroad at the age of 17 She drank heavily and took recreational drugs until she was 21 Returning to the UK she had the intention of returning to live overseas but she fell in love and had a child At the age of 27 she separated from her partner and became a single mom That’s when she realized that she had a problem with alcohol…although she didn’t stop until she was 41 14 years of knowing but not changing.. 14 years of thinking this isn’t right but feeling trapped because she had no idea HOW to make a change I so identify with this and in fact the average time that someone takes from the realization that they have a problem and doing something about it is 11 years So if you are in that place of knowing that you have a problem but feeling trapped please reach out today… there is help available, go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe! Apart from not knowing how to quit drinking Kirsty's whole identify was wrapped up in being the party girl There was also a dark side to the partying which was when she drank alone When Kirstys mom died suddenly she was 33 and her drinking became heavier She had no sober people in her life, no role models showing her that an alcohol free life was possible She had been to an AA meeting in her 20’s but was unable to relate to the people she found there Apart from the shock of losing her mom Kirsty had to cope with a lot of extra responsibility and she no longer had childcare for when she went to work She had no coping mechanisms so turned to alcohol Kirsty tried putting various rules in place around her drinking but ended up breaking them She had lots of “rock bottoms” but found herself moving the goalposts For example she thought that if she ever woke up in a strangers house the morning after she would quit But she did…and she didn’t quit One of the things that prevented her from getting help was the shame… she just didn’t want to tell anyone how bad it had got Another factor that kept her trapped was the thought that people would realise that she had a problem if we stopped When we give up smoking we get congratulated but when we give up drinking we just get lots of awkward questions! Like many of us Kirsty was high functioning and managed to hold down a job and maintain her parenting role.. She also poured huge energy into keeping everybody happy so that no-one questioned what was going on in her life Without her mom to look out for her Kirsty felt very alone… there was nobody close to her to see just how bad her drinking had got…nobody to advise her Her final rock bottom came in December 2017 when she woke up surrounded by empty bottles and drug paraphernalia… She got on her knees and asked for help… She couldn’t do this anymore… If YOU ever wake up feeling exhausted and hungover… and decide you can’t do this anymore please embrace that moment, it’s your turning point so don’t ignore it, reach out for some help Kirsty reached out for some help that day.. she signed herself into a crisis centre When she returned home she went cold turkey This was a big risk – when she saw a doctor she told her she could have died… after drinking 2-3 bottles of wine plus spirits a day she actually needed a medical detox Thankfully Kirsty did survive although she describes her detox as “hell” As she clocked up some alcohol free time she began to realise that it was not drugs or alcohol that she craved… it was love… When we ditch the booze and go alcohol free we learn how to love ourselves again It starts with the pride we feel as we achieve some sober time and stay on track Kirsty had to figure out how to care for herself She went to bed straight after dinner to avoid thinking about drinking, she drank lots of water, she ate well, she began to be truthful with her friends and she began a journaling and gratitude practice She took it hour by hour in those early days and it began to stick The more time that passed since her last drink the more space she got in her mind She got space to reflect on what she really needed A beautiful space as she calls it F

In this episode I interview an important member of our Tribe Sober team - Jane Rivera. She came along to a workshop in 2016, ditched the drink and remains a valued Tribe member, inspiring others to change their relationship with alcohol. In this Episode Jane tells her how her mindset has gone from "wanting to die" to "can't get enough of life" She was introduced to alcohol at an early age as her parents bought a pub in the UK She moved to Joburg as a teenager but struggled to settle and went off the rails A happy marriage and two beautiful children still didn't stop her from hitting the wine Jane finally realised that she would have to make a change when she felt her husband and kids pulling away from her She heard Janet on the radio and booked a workshop She left the workshop thinking she would stay alcohol free for a while and then start drinking moderately These workshops are now called Kickstart Masterclass and are available via Zoom - more info here After a few months of AF living Jane was feeling great and accepted that she would never be able to have "just one glass" She now loves her AF life, is close to her family again - and loves helping people in our community She has recently relocated to Norway - an adventure she could never have coped with back in her drinking days! More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

So my guests today are Dave & Susan Kenney - they believe that understanding the brain is the key to recovery and are the pioneers of Actualised Recovery – an approach which combines neuroscience, psychology and lifestyle medicine. After running their own residential recovery program for a decade they have now pivoted to training recovery coaches. In this episode:- At school Dave had excelled at sport but had struggled academically leading to him being called “lazy” Now that he understands so much more about the brain he sees that as a sign of his brain not working properly as he really wanted to do well.. and in fact believes that all children and adults want to do well He got into university on a sports scholarship and became an educator In 2008 as educators Dave & Susan noticed many kids struggling socially, academically and with addiction Although back then they knew nothing about the brain and hadn’t even heard of neuroplasticity they started to wonder whether it was possible to change a brain They came across the work of a neuro psychologist called Daniel Amen – He had published a book called “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life” The book is about neuroplasticity which is our ability to rewire our brains Dave explained the concept that the brain drives behaviour – a concept which has been fundamental to their work and which they decided to apply to the world of recovery and The brain drives our patterns, our cravings and our choices so if we change our brains we can change our behaviour Dave explained that he sees the brain as the hardware of a computer and it’s no good addressing the software if the hardware is faulty So meditation, CBT or any other kind of therapy is not going to work if the brain is not working properly Dave came up with the analogy that trauma can be likened to a virus on a computer … causing our brains to dysfunction He also made the point that not everybody becomes addicted to alcohol – the people who do get addicted have a brain which is chemically predisposed to getting relief from alcohol If we impact and change the brain we can enable the person to create better habits and change their behaviours The catalyst for applying their knowledge to the recovery world was hearing about a friend who had lost her son to suicide which galvanized them into setting up their own recovery centre for 12 years they ran a private residential recovery program based on this Brain First approach – helping thousands of people and living on campus themselves Dave would interview patients on arrival and ask them what they would choose if he could give them anything – nine out of ten said happiness We discussed the futility of chasing short term goals to be happy – whether that’s a shot of tequila or a new car Dave shared his favourite word with us with is:- Eudomonia: which is living a life of long term values – the premise being that happiness and wellbeing come from how we live our lives rather than the pursuit of material wealth or power For Susan the definition of happiness is a life led with purpose Their approach fits with Maslows hierarchy which has purpose and self actualization at the top but physiological needs at the foundations – Susan explained that most patients would be dehydrated on arrival so no amount of therapy was going to work until that was put right They would work on basic health and then the therapies and treatments could come in There was an essential family component to their recovery program which often involved coaching the family how to agree boundaries rather than making threats We talked of the importance of changing patterns in early recovery..- you can’t just take away the alcohol and carry on with the same behaviour… So many of our patterns involve coupling various activities with alcohol – for example cooking dinner while sipping a glass of wine – we have to work on replacing this habit until we can cook happily without the wine “The more a neuron fires the stronger it wires” in other words our new habits will get stronger over time Dave & Susan closed their clinic when Covid hit and have now pivoted into training recovery coaches – using all the knowledge they built up working in their clinic over the years Dave's definition of recovery coaching is simply to enable people to live their limitless lives They have an internationally certified Recovery Coaching program – an 8 week online program Unlike many programs they don’t believe that a recovery coach needs to have gone through their own struggles to be a good coach The rationale being that coaching is about asking the right questions and listening deeply to the answers rather than sharing our own stories One of their students made the interesting point that people should be trained in recovery coaching before life coaching as understanding the brain and why people do what they do should be the foundation for the kind of goal setting that a life coach would do… Susan & David are both graduates of

Even though we offer our members a lot of support already we’re always on the look out for new benefits. So these days apart from yoga, meditation, coaching, hypnotherapy, art therapy and accountability groups we can offer our members a functional medicine coach. A Functional Medicine Coach can help us with the transition between drinking a building a healthy lifestyle. We all know vaguely what we need to do to be healthy but a Health Coach will personalise that plan for you and then ensure that you put it into action! So Tribe Sober’s new Functional Health Coach is called Laura Gujadhur We began by clarifying the difference between functional medicine and conventional medicine. Laura explained that conventional medicine is disease management and treatment of symptoms whereas Functional medicine looks at the root cause of disease An example would be going to a conventional doctor with a rash – that doctor would be unlikely to ask you about your diet, your stress levels and whether you’ve had allergy tests -he would probably give you a cream to calm down the rash but he wouldn’t have got to the root cause of whats going on So functional medicine looks at the root cause of disease and illness and starts from there Conventional medicine is something we resort to when we are already sick Whereas functional medicine encourages you to work on your health so that you don’t develop chronic diseases… You become the architect of your own health Laura’s interest in health and wellness began about 5 years ago when she quit drinking A member of her family was diagnosed with depression and immediately put on anti-depressants which didn’t sit well with Laura About that time she had stumbled across a book called The Ultra Mind Solution by Dr Mark Hyman In this book he explains that when he heals someone’s gut and sorts out the imflammation the cognitive function improves and depression and anxiety go away As an ex nurse married to a doctor this came as a revelation to Laura – they never learned anything like this in medical school Laura decided to approach functional medicine in the same way that she had approached sobriety – she would read everything she could get her hands on After all Annie Grace’s book “The Naked Mind” had been such an eye opener for her and made her realise that Big Alcohol are inundating us with false messaging Her research into Functional Medicine made her realise that conventional medicine was simply driven by Big Pharma and that she had been naïve not to question it during her medical training and career. Laura’s decision to quit drinking for a month came after a party when she woke up with a hangover and thought…enough She white knuckled her way through the month and used the time that she saved (by not drinking) to read everything she could. Her belief systems around drinking had already been overturned by The Naked Mind and she realized that she couldn’t go back to drinking Laura threw the book at her sobriety and like so many others who have succeeded she treated it like a job. She told her husband she wouldn't be entertaining or going anywhere for three months as she wanted to concentrate on her reading. We all learn differently so it can be helpful to reflect on our personal learning style as we approach the difficult task of giving up alcohol and learning to navigate society without it. There are 4 distinct learning styles identified by Honey & Mumford in 1986. Activist Theorist Pragmatist Reflector So we all learn how to navigate our alcohol free journey in our own way and shouldn’t be comparing our progress with others… just keep trying and it will come together. Back to Laura. What I found interesting was the fact that once she’d done all her research and reading she was absolutely ready to make a firm decision and her mantra was:- "Never Question the Decision" I think that’s such a helpful strategy which will stand her in good stead if she has a craving or is under pressure from others to drinking… She approached her sobriety with the same gusto and enthusiasm that she used to approach her drinking- focusing on what she was gaining rather than losing by leading an alcohol free lifestyle. However Laura did go into full blown sugar addiction when she quit drinking and wishes that she’d had a functional health coach teach her how to transition which would have resulted in her feeling a lot better sooner. These days Laura is qualified as Functional Health Coach. She talked about the 4 pillars of health Diet/Exercise/Stress Reduction and Sleep and emphasized that a Health Coach could ease the transition into the alcohol free lifestyle and help to avoid a cross addiction. As she said we all know broadly what we should be doing to stay healthy but the value of a health coach is that she will ensure that you implement and stick to the right eating plan and exercise regime. We agreed that coaching is super valuable to keep people on track - especially for women. Laura feels that many women t

My guest this week is Tribe member Suzanna Poroski - a dance, a choreographer, a singer and a piano player! She's recently celebrated her first Soberversary so I began our conversation by her to introduce herself In this episode:- Suzanna’s first experience of alcohol was at the age of 14 when she got into her father’s brandy Rather than being repulsed by the taste of it she actually drank it until she blacked out As Suzanna said enthusiasm for alcohol after the very first drink is a warning sign of possible problems in the future She also remembers leaving school at lunchtime to drink beers at a friend’s house Her father was a drinker and her parents divorced when she was 13 - Suzanna left home at an early age Fiercely independent with an obsessive need to be liked she would go drinking with her friends in bars at the age of 16 – then bring people back to her place for drinks Drinking and driving was normalized in her friendship group Suzanna worked as a choreographer at Club Med in Bermuda and created a rule around her drinking She would only drink every second night – just like the teenage drinking, making rules around our drinking are a sign of dependence Suzanna describes Club Med as a breeding ground for alcoholics - when she left at the age of 30 she assumed that her drinking patterns would go back to "normal" As a child of an alcoholic Suzanna was familiar with the 12 steps from her Alateen meetings so when her own drinking started to escalate she went to AA As a dancer she was under huge pressure to stay slim so also struggled with her eating patterns so she went to Overeaters Anonymous as well! She did achieve period of sobriety via AA but also had some bad drinking episodes Like the time she was driving a rented car and woke up after a blackout with no memory of where she’d parked the car Or the time when she was so shaken by a drunk driving episode that she had to sleep with the lights and tv on for fear of lying in the dark and going into her own head as she puts it – the “bad neighbourhood” I think she called it! She was in New York on 9/11 so although she wasn’t directly affected just like the rest of the world she was shocked and horrified Suzanna lost her job as a result of 9/11 which meant she could stay in her apartment – eating drinking and watching Netflix – trying to numb her feelings She got to a point where the drinking just wasn’t working anymore so she managed quite lengthy spells of sobriety but always went back to drinking In 2014 she lost her business so once more turned to Netflix, drinking and food to cope She did manage to quit drinking but replaced it with an obsessive running routine – 5 miles a day and only missing a few days in 17 months She managed almost 3 years in sobriety with AA and then had a slip up… At Tribe Sober we often talk about “uncoupling positive experiences from alcohol” – the classic one here in South Africa is “I can’t enjoy the sunset without a glass of wine” – of course we have to replace those patterns with more healthy habits like “watching the sunset with an alcohol free drink”! So back to Suzanna’s slip up – she’d cleaned the house, done her hair and make up and was waiting for some guests to arrive – everything was good and she felt an irrational urge to celebrate with a drink that had been left over from a previous party… That’s when she started to wonder if AA was no longer working for her She dived into the quitlit and started to explore different approaches At the same time she felt her body was no longer tolerating alcohol like it used to… and giving her physical feedback that life would be better sober She still had a mental struggle going on, the cognitive dissonance that so many of us are familiar with – our conscious mind telling us to quit and being challenged by our subconscious beliefs that we need alcohol to enjoy our lives At Tribe Sober we talk about our “Not This” moment Suzanna had her "Not This" moment when she was walking along a beautiful beach but rather than basking in the beauty of her surroundings her mind was occupied with finding a little bar where she could drink her wine This made her so angry she decided she was done As she said “alcohol is insidious – the way it slowly becomes your everything” Suzanna talked about the Tipping Point that we get to when we’ve been trying to quit drinking for years and then one day something shifts and everything falls into place All the Sober Stretches you’ve done, all the quitlit you’ve read, all the conversations come together and bring about a shift.. We hear this a lot at Tribe Sober and as Suzanna said it’s the reason why we must never stop trying – it will work in the end I love what she said about her personal Tipping Point “it came in quietly, I didn’t tell anybody, I just knew…and I felt a quiet strength” Suzanna discovered Tribe Sober via this podcast As a result of the podcast she emailed me for the pdf of our Annual Tracker – if you’d like an Annual Tracker just email membe

My guest this week is Annie McDonnell - an Australian executive with a difficult start in life followed by a 20 years career in the wine industry. These days she's thriving in her alcohol free life and inspiring others as a Sober Coach. In this episode:- Annie’s father had a drinking problem and her parents had a difficult marriage – in fact her mother left the home when Annie has just 14 Unsurprisingly Annie felt angry and abandoned and it was about this time that she discovered that alcohol which became her best friend Unsure of her career ambitions Annie chose random subjects to study at university – one of them being Viniculture which she loved She went on to join Australia's burgeoning wine industry and loved her job Of course she got to hang out with her best friend alcohol every day and a tasting at a 9am sales meeting was not unusual! Annie enjoyed this lifestyle throughout her 20’s and 30’s but in her 40’s she crashed and burned She’d known that she had a problem with alcohol for years but just couldn’t imagine life without alcohol I was the same and we agreed that it was the fear of life without our best friend alcohol that keeps us trapped I sometimes wish I had a time machine that I could put some of our new members in – those people who are struggling – scoring a few alcohol free days and then giving in to a craving.. In early sobriety its impossible to imagine just how different your life will be if you make this change Annie came up with a great analogy about rocks – she said that when you are drinking it feels like you are carrying a backpack of rocks and when you stop you put it down….and life feels so much better, so much lighter you marvel at how wrong you were to fear alcohol free living It does take a few months of hard work but then you are free and your life starts to evolve in the most extraordinary ways so people need to have faith just like my favourite MLK quote Take the first step on the staircase even if you cant see the top – if you're ready to take that first step just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” and we’ll take care of the rest! Annie described her “not this” moment which came in her mid forties as a result of severe anxiety which had left her unable to drive, unable to see people or even to lift a spoon to eat some soup.. "Not this" moments come to us when we are at rock bottom, we know we just can’t do this anymore Annie signed up for a 100 day challenge and felt great relief that she didn’t have to think about her drinking for 100 days That’s a great attitude to go into a challenge with – we have our annual 66 day challenge starting on 1st September so if you’d like to join that just go to the homepage of tribesober.com Annie and I talked about the power that we begin to feel as we become more aligned with who we really are in sobriety – we take control and no longer feel that things are just “happening” to us Like many of us who have been sober for a few years Annie felt pulled towards helping others so she trained as a Sobriety Coach and we talked about the Sacred Walk experience that she offers You can find Annie at her website powerfullysober.com, on LinkendIn of via email [email protected] More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected]. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE. PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Jeff Graham founded the Bac2Zero sobriety group. Like many of us in the recovery space Jeff’s initial sobriety goal was simply to quit drinking. As he recovered his health, energy and creativity he decided he wanted to help others to do the same. He describes sobriety as freedom – freedom from a world that was once filled with dread, regret and fear. Although his goal started out simply as one of abstinence, his life has since grown into a life filled with dreams, hope and happiness. In this Episode Jeff enjoyed his first beer at the age of 16, it wasn’t so much the buzz he enjoyed as the status – he felt like he “fitted in”. Much as he enjoyed the social side of drinking he also discovered that he loved to drink alone – he would come home from a night out and have some drinks on his own – he felt like he needed some “Jeff time” as he put it Many of us are like this – and even in sobriety some of us can still get triggered when we get home from a social event – even when we were drinking AF drinks! I would work hard to behave myself at a social event and then down a bottle of wine when I got home! Jeff was into beer and from the age of 23 and was drinking a case of beer a day – of course his friends were all drinkers His parents were both alcoholics and that’s why he was drawn to beer rather than spirits – he thought it was “better” – but of course it’s all ethanol! He started hiding his beers in the garage – so his wife and kids had no idea how much he was drinking or quite how bad it had got Someone asked him recently if sobriety was “hard” – it made him reflect on just how “hard” it was to be a functioning alcoholic – how hard it was to hold everything together. He got to the point when he knew he would have to cut down but he couldn’t face it – so he just started hiding his drinks more effectively! We talked about the buzz and how us drinkers love to maintain the buzz – in fact recent research has shown that the buzz only lasts for 20 minutes and then we carry on drinking to top it up After some beers Jeff would not go back to “normal” – he would feel lower than normal and reach for the beer to compensate He was starting to drink earlier in the day but always telling himself that “tomorrow” would be different. Eventually he ran out of lies – admitted defeat and booked himself into rehab for a week He needed this stay in rehab to draw a line under his drinking and to make a statement to his friends and family that he wanted to make a change We find that many of the people who come to our workshops are able to make use of the tools and community to draw that line under their drinking habits and to make a change Jeff needed the accountability that came with rehab – he just couldn’t do this alone He didn’t actually learn much in rehab but he did a lot of self-reflection and of course met other people with the same problems When he was sharing his story he heard himself saying things that he hadn’t really registered before – that happens at our workshops – people get emotional when they share because they only realise just how unhappy alcohol has been making them when they tell their story out loud. Three months out of rehab he had a relapse – he wanted a reward, a last “hurrah” as he put it That did indicate that he still had work to do on his mindset – if we still see alcohol as a reward then it means it will always be hard to resist and we will suffer from FOMO Once we see alcohol for the addictive toxin it really is we will lose our desire for it which is the key to sustaining our sobriety After his relapse Jeff took his recovery more seriously – he started to listen more and began journaling to process his thoughts and emotions. He feels that it’s really important to get the negative thoughts on paper so then we can analyse them – it’s all part of being honest with ourselves. Of course when he stopped drinking he had to find other things to do – he learned that he couldn’t just wait until he had a craving and then find something else to do – he had to plan it in advance Jeff learned that he needed a schedule of activities and I think that’s great advice Try lots of different things and keep yourself busy until you find a routine that really works for you As he says it’s no good telling him to call someone if he gets a craving – it’s too late by then! Like myself he loves talking to people in recovery and getting new insights We talked about discovering purpose and the way we have both found more purpose in our lives from running sobriety groups – he set up Bac2Zero to inspire others on the journey Interviewing people for Bac2Zero keeps his schedule busy! He has some great analogies – sobriety is like a haunted house – scary to enter alone but can even be fun if you are with someone else! And the traffic lights! - sobriety is not a red traffic light! It’s a green light to freedom, health and happiness – yes there may be a while stopped at the amber light going through an adjustment period but the green l

If I had to describe a typical Tribe member then I would pick a lady in her 40’s or 50’s – successful career woman with a family. Noody would dream that this lady had a problem with alcohol but in fact she’s been worried about her drinking for years. My podcast guest this week pretty much fits that profile...Tribe member Claire B In this Episode: Claire's parents didn’t drink much so her first experience of drinking was as a teenager – 18th birthday parties – vodkas and a sweet concentrated orange juice was her drink As she says she went straight for the hard stuff but of course had to add sweetened orange juice to make it palatable just as I did with my whisky and coke As a trainee nurse Claire would drink when she went out but would never drink alone and it was not problematic in those days In her early 20’s Claire moved from the UK to SA and was struck by the drinking culture – wine at lunchtime and in fact she celebrated her first birthday in SA with a champagne breakfasts! She embraced this culture and thought it was great! The first time she began to worry about her drinking was in her late 20’s when she came home from a very boozy lunch and found herself wanting to have another glass of wine That became a habit for Claire – going out for drinks and then carrying on the party alone when she got home She realised that like so many of us she didn’t have an “off” button –that’s definitely a red flag… as is drinking alone Other warning signs are – regularly drinking more than the low risk limits which are just one and a half bottles of wine a week, trying (and failing) to cut down, again and again - …..also when all your social activities revolve around alcohol etc I asked Claire if she tried to cut down or set rules for her drinking – she explained that she wanted someone else to set rules for her – she was actually looking for a reason to stop drinking She thought she’d found one when she relocated to China as she wasn’t expecting alcohol to be so readily available and she remembered welcoming that situation However she found that alcohol was available and in fact she drank a lot during her 3 years there She found herself engineering situations where she could drink and as she said the subject took up “a lot of her bandwidth” People often ask me if they are drinking too much – I explain that if they are thinking about it, even if it’s a niggling thought at the back of their mind…. Then that’s probably a sign that they should take action, even if they are not drinking huge amounts Quite simply if it’s on your mind.. you’ll be happier without it! Those of us who’ve spent years trying and failing to moderate know only too well that it takes up far too much mental space – and when we get sober we can find peace Claire tried the odd alcohol free challenge but found the thought of quitting drinking for ever extremely scary She began to feel that there were 2 Claires – the sensible one and the other one who was egging her on to drink more Many of us experience this inner struggle between our rational conscious mind and our subconscious which is holding limiting beliefs about alcohol Limiting beliefs like “we can’t have fun, relax or socialize” without it Beliefs which are the result of decades of exposure to marketing and peer pressure convincing us that alcohol is essential to a happy life! Claire and I both drank for decades and agreed that our neural pathways for drinking were more like Superhighways than pathways! When we start to build our alcohol free life we are looking to replace that Superhighway with an alcohol free pathway which will in turn become a Superhighway if we stick at our sobriety and continue to do that work Claire came up with a lovely analogy that her sobriety was like a garden…and just like a garden is never finished and it takes work – just like her sobriety If someone asks her advice about a family member who might be drinking too much she’s not afraid to point out red flags I so agree with her that we should speak openly rather than just say “oh I’m sure they are fine” which is the usual response from people That’s why I’m so grateful to Tribe members like Claire and others who have come on this podcast to share their stories It means people can hear that having a problem with alcohol does not mean that we are like the homeless tramp which society likes to portray as the alcoholic They can hear that people with a problem are just like them.. and more importantly that it is possible to make a change and to be so much happier and healthier without alcohol Claire is quite sporty and as she got into her late 40’s and 50’s she would often take a break from alcohol for a few weeks to prepare for a race…but always went back to drinking One day she heard me talking on the radio about our Sober Spring – a 66 day challenge we do every year It appealed to her because she loves a Challenge So she signed up but was not really planning to participate in the chatgroups but then she realized that s

My guest this week is narrative therapist Tessa Freeman. Narrative Therapy is very much in line with our approach at Tribe Sober - because it’s about separating a person from their problem It’s about ditching the guilt and shame along with the alcohol I’s about enabling people to realise that they should not label themselves or see themselves as broken or the problem or powerless Tessa and I have both had a lot of experience of working with groups and agreed that the magic of community is that we can gradually replace our addiction with connection. In this episode When Tessa lost her father she needed support so had some narrative therapy This piqued her interest to such an extent that she decided to train as a narrative therapist herself She is now a Narrative Therapist specializing in addiction Tessa explained that (a bit like coaching) narrative therapy is based on the fact that the client is the expert and the therapist walks alongside them (rather than in front of them) When working with alcohol dependent clients Tessa will always separate the problem from the person which will reduce any feelings of shame We agreed that addiction can be very isolating but once we join a group we realise that we are not the only one and we feel so much better – eventually connection with the group begins to take the place of the addiction At Tribe Sober we encourage our members to write a “Goodbye to Alcohol Letter” and you can see some examples on tribesober.com under the podcasts, blogs and more menu Tessa also uses an analogy explaining that if two women who had been in an abusive relationship with the same man were to meet – they would have an instant bond and realise the damage that relationship had caused. That makes me think of that beautiful quote by CS Lewis “friendship is born in the moment when one person says to another “you too? – I thought I was the only one” When I first started working in this field 7 years ago I was amazed by the bond I could see developing so quickly between our members – complete strangers from all over the world but their common experience enables them to be vulnerable and open with each other We talked about the shares that take place at the beginning of each of our Tribe Sober workshops – when each participant will share just how unhappy alcohol has been making them – these shares demonstrate the power of story telling…. Story telling is of course the foundation of narrative therapy and Tessa explained that we make sense of our lives by the stories we tell ourselves…. And when we share our stories we are bearing our souls and showing who we really are….and also demonstrating the power of vulnerability We talked about the many false narratives in the public domain and Tessa gave us the example of her friend explaining that if Tessa wanted to have children she would have to have to start drinking because – as her friend put it:- "It takes a vineyard to raise a child" These kind of stories are so common that eventually we internalize them and look for confirmation bias to convince ourselves they are true This way they become limiting beliefs Which are shared by our friends and that’s how a global trend like “mommyjuice” is born I asked Tessa to explain how she would use narrative therapy to overturn this belief that her friend was holding The belief that it takes a vineyard to raise a child Her approach would be to deconstruct the belief ie to stay curious about it and to challenge it Tessa would take her friend back to a time before she drank when she didn’t hold this belief She would ask her to think about who she is without alcohol Tessa would help her friend to externalize her story by searching for good stories – a period in her friend's life when alcohol was not present She would also remind her that in fact she parents for most of the day without alcohol and she would help her to explore alternative ways of reducing the stress and then to co-author a new belief which would alter her friends identity It’s so important to remember that you are never the problem, rather you are the person with a problem Focussing on the clients strengths make it easier to separate them from the problem It’s about building and strengthening the alternative stories we can hold about ourselves Many of us who were/are alcohol dependent have low self esteem from all those years of trying (and failing) to cut down or quit so focusing on our strengths will help to rebuild our feelings of self worth. I often say that the path to sobriety is about learning to love and nurture ourselves again, about learning to put ourselves first rather than last! I asked Tessa what she had learned during her time working in the addiction field She told me that when she started her job she was expecting to be working with a lot of homeless or unemployed people so it was a big surprise that most of her clients were high functioning with good careers. That’s when she realized that addiction was not a rarity – in fact it had