Three Bean Salad

The beans are back! A bumper episode to kick off the new series. Lots to cover. And Samuel steers the beans towards the topic of assassinations which absolutely classic Samuel frankly. Knuckle down and let’s get through this together people.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

To round off series whatever it is Isabella feeds surfin' into the bean machine in the hope of crystal clear, effluent-free lukewarm banter. Will the beans turtle roll some ankle slappers? Or will they hang ten on a shubie’s mushburger? Why not tombstone a paddlepuss and find out?Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod

Definitely a cursed episode this one. No one’s fault. Worth knowing going in though. If you’re brave enough to take the plunge you’ll discover that Rowan had the beans grapple with the Trojan War and you’ll probably say to yourself “That shouldn’t present a problem to the beans although I bet they end up being a bit reductive about calzones” and you’d be right.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod

Muriel from Illinois has the beans discuss The Higgs Boson/Particles this week. Listeners might be concerned the beans are entering knowledge-gap territory here but it turns out between them they average 2 ⅔ science GCSEs a piece*.*grades attained unavailable and what do they mean anyway really???Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod

Thank goodness one of the beans is a jewel-encrusted member of London’s glitterati because this week’s topic, thanks to Catherine of Bremen, is fashion. What do your chinos say about you? What do you say about your chinos? And what would your chinos say about what you’d said about them if they’d overheard it? All questions the beans are unable to answer for you of course but while you’re working them over why not strike a pose and tune into the lukewarm banter based podcast du jour.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod

It’s widely accepted that if Elvis Presley were alive today he would have made a really decent podcaster. Where better then to discuss his life and legacy than on a podcast which, at the time of writing, is ranked as Finland’s 245th most popular sleep aid? Thanks to Dan (presumably of Bremen) for feeding The King into the bean machine.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod

The topic of orange is wmg’s gift to the beans this week and you can bet your bottom dollar the beans don’t just squeeze every last drop of chat juice out of it. No siree! They candy the peel, compost the pith and pulverise the pips to extract linoleic acid which could be used in the production of organic varnishes for example (metaphorically).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod

Popo (THE Popo?????) decides the beans ought to discuss pencils this week. Henry manages to crowbar in Andie MacDowell (surprise, surprise), congressional hearings get a mention as do several Roberts and Benjamin shares a top tip for increasing your household acreage without planning permission.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTo buy streaming tickets for our upcoming live shows:Saturday 16th September 2023, 7pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29411/29415Sunday 17th September 2023, 2pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29666/29667Sunday 17th September 2023, 4.30pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29412/29416Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod

The beans are back and Sean of Exeter has given them the topic of beer, the cheeky old rascal!!!!! As luck would have it the beans just so happen to know one end of a pint from the other cor bloomin’ heck don’t they just the bloody legends so don’t be surprised if the banter isn’t just served lukewarm but has a ruddy lemonade top to boot weh hey!!!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTo buy streaming tickets for our upcoming live shows:Saturday 16th September 2023, 7pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29411/29415Sunday 17th September 2023, 2pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29666/29667Sunday 17th September 2023, 4.30pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29412/29416Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.Tickets to stream our upcoming live shows:Saturday 16th Sept, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29411/29415Sunday 17th Sept, 2pm https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29666/29667Sunday 17th Sept, 4.30pm https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29412/29416

It’s the last episode of the season so thank goodness Gavin (of Bremen most likely) furnished the beans with the humdinger zeitgiest chat-nip topic that is…oats! The beans lurch from the grain-of-now to trouser physics and back again all for YOUR listening pleasure. Summer good and summer true dear friends. Three Bean Salad shall return at Septembertide.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

The beans have to get to grips with urban legends this week thanks to Tabby from Edinburgh. But before that Henry tells an anecdote so long that it begins to develop its own atmosphere and gravity. Finally they get stuck into urban legends and it gets scatalogical IMMEDIATELY for which Tabby surely has to take some of the blame. In fact large chunks of the episode are pretty unpalatable so please don’t listen to it anywhere near an impressionable child or unripe AI.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Ben from Cardiff (WE KNOW RIGHT???!!!) submits the topic of whales and the Beans waste no time getting into some radical new theories of aquatic taxonomy and evolution. If you’re wondering whether or not they’re qualified to handle that stuff let’s not forgot that Mike’s got a biology A-level, Ben lives a mere 4 hour drive away from the Rhyl SeaQuarium and Henry can draw a ruddy good haddock. This episode also contains a dose of the Old Testament which never did anybody any harm.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Megan from Bremen sends beans a-yappin’ about cults this week. It proves to be an episode packed with jaw-dropping revelations, not least of which is Henry’s confession to a major personal creed-shift.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

How did scientists explain theories of time travel to laypeople before the invention of paper napkins? This is just one of the many questions surrounding this week’s topic of time travel (courtesy of Ben of Horsham) that the Beans simply don’t touch. Talc makes an appearance though. Content warning: contains audio of the podcast’s first partial nude.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

It takes every ounce of the beans’ strength to keep the banter lukewarm this week as they take on Phil of Baltimore’s inherently hot topic of volcanoes during the most violent heat wave the British Isles have ever seen. Does heat melt away their satirical fangs? No! (Listen if you dare, Tony Blair!) Does it stop them from catching up with what Silvio Berlusconi was up to in 2006? No way! Do the energy levels audibly drop towards the end of the episode? Arguably.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

To Ben’s horror, the theme this week, thanks to Dedan-Jah Jonker the rheumatic Dutchman, is his bête noire: tea. To make things worse for poor, sweet, bean-machine laden Ben, this episode also finds him forced to confront his most recent near death experience at the hands of a certain type of central European bastard the guide books don’t warn you about.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Hazel of Bremen throws lukewarm caution to the wind and has the beans discuss FIRE! Some sage words on friendship (and eyebrow) management are included and it will come as no surprise that Henry’s employment history is once more in the mix.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

Without a care in the world, Zachary of Bremen tosses the spine-chilling topic of “The Essence of Fear” into the bean machine quiver and expects the beans to just deal with it once it’s fired out. Of course - they do. They dive deep. Gossamer deep. Listen only with extreme caution (one ear?). Also contains a forbidden jingle.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

This week the Bean Machine, having been pre-loaded by Luke (of Bremen?), spits out the topic of teachers. It’s time for the beans to think about how many Alsatians is too many Alsatians. Also the dear listeners are called upon to help solve a cereal based codger mystery.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

This week’s topic comes from none other than Phillip Kerrigan of Kerrigan’s mustard. His choice: dentists. It’s a thorny one, sure, but that doesn’t put off the beans. They chat hard and true and, arguably at the top of their podcasting game, find a way to incorporate crabs. This episode is dedicated to the late, wonderfully funny and much missed comedian Gareth Richards.Gareth's website: http://www.garethrichards.net/Gareth's EP: https://garethrichards.bandcamp.com/album/these-songs-could-be-used-in-adverts-epJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Neil (presumably of Bremen) offers up the topic of TV crime shows. At least one of the beans is like a pig in the proverbial with such a fearsomely strong topic but nevertheless the beans do make time to touch upon French impressionism, infini-hills and aquatic apex predators. Also contains hot new intel on a drop-dead decent storage solution.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday March and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of human rights, the will of the moon and natural justice)

Sarah of Bremen pressgangs the beans into chatting all things pirates this week. With a fair wind at the stern they sail through the alphabet and the landlocked city of Nottingham and have time to spare to drop the chat anchor into the depths of what happens when a potato is left to its own devices.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTickets to our live show on 30th April 2023 at Machynlleth Comedy Festival: https://machcomedyfest.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/shows/873644688Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Gemma in Bromley has the beans wrap their chops around ice-cream this week and by gum are the beans happy about it. This may be the most on-topic episode of the podcast so far although there is time to squeeze in hairy omelettes, creamy cream and a trip down memory lane with Lou from Neighbours.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTickets to our live show on 30th April 2023 at Machynlleth Comedy Festival: https://machcomedyfest.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/shows/873644688Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

This week your old friend Neil (of Bremen) sends the bean chat to the magisterial tundra of the Arctic. Nozzles, aisle seats and the future of powder all come into play. Also this is a tremendous episode for anyone hoping to hone their spatial awareness or sense of direction which, let’s be honest, is something very few other podcasts are offering right now.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Michael of Bremen gets the chat ball rolling in this brand new series by suggesting this week’s topic of zeppelins. Mechanised frogs, hamperisation and of course buououououoys all play a vital part. Also the beans thwart a possible attempt at an AI world takeover (or unwittingly enable it - hard to tell at the time of writing).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Take yourself back to December 2021/January 2022 and enjoy this compilation of highlights from our third series. From coffee shop toilets to a terrible banana.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March) but if you want extra bonus episodes you can sign up at our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad

What’s that? A crossover ep? Has the world turned upside down? No. Behold! What lies in store is an exclusive, once in a lifetime piece of podcasting as Three Bean Salad get sent their topic of the week by none other than The Chatatar Podcast - the world’s foremost source of Avatar based lukewarm banter. That topic? “Avatar 2: The Way Of Water”. What else.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

The Loch Ness Monster is Harvey’s idea of a strong topic for the beans this week. Can they avoid offensively poor Scottish accents? Possibly. Will Helen Hunt come up? Probably. Will a fictional character played by a volleyball dominate the conversation? You betcha!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Matt from The Cheese Deli sets thrusters to lukewarm and launches the beans towards the topic of the Moon this week. Expect solid Louis Armstrong chat, Connect 4, a hearty to nod to Liam Neeson and of course, more hot and fresh reaction to the second movie in the Avatar franchise.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Rebecca Abrey’s son (of Bremen) has Rebecca Abrey get us to talk about dogs and by golly heck but don’t we just do that. The lukewarm, canine banter is appropriately seasoned with paprika, subaquatic telepathy and a hot take on the cultural event of the millennium.Tickets for Mike Wozniak's tour can be found here: https://littlewander.co.uk/show/mike-wozniak-zusa/Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Lynsey of Bremen offers up crisps to get the beans juices flowing. As per there’s heavyweight chat with attention to detail so expect to hear about taxonomic rank, golden staircases (divine) and the worst possible situation from which to mount a revolution.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Forests is this week’s lukewarm topic for which Rowan of Bremen is responsible and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Henry blindsides the Beans with a revelation about his foresting past, Benjamin is exposed as a ruthless negotiator and Mike is forced into discovering a skill he never knew he had (albeit one that could land him in in hot water). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

It’s Ryan from Bremen’s turn to direct the bean chat and he has them get busy on board games.Tim Rice pops up of course. There’s a tiny knight’s helmet and a hot tip for those hoping to thrive socially in any suburban cul-de-sac. All this AND a rare audio visit to the toilets in the Barbican Centre.

Welcome back to Season/Series 7 (we think) of Three Bean Salad and what an opener the beans have for you as Michael from Bremen proposes the topic of animal husbandry. Expect a deeper understanding of little Christmas trees that dangle off rearview mirrors, an explanation of the principle use of passata and a rare insight into the life of Joanna Lumley.

Take yourself back to August/September 2021 and enjoy this compilation of highlights from our second series. From King Kong to Amelia Earhart.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December), but if you want to extra bonus content you can sign up at our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad

This week’s topic, courtesy of “Your Worst Nightmare” is glass. Having comprehensively and definitively covered the science of glass in the deep bean past the beans find time to get entrepreneurial (watch this space, dog owners), satirical (watch out, The Man) as well as sorting out their pension plans. They even manage to squeeze in a smidge of Gérard Depardieu for good measure. A bumper crop for the last episode of this season. The beans shall return in December. In the meantime, for heaven’s sake, don’t sit on your own arse.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

In what would probably the worst episode ever for a brand new listener to sample the show fresh, Phillip Kerrigan of Kerrigan’s Mustard gets his Bean Machine double dip and has the beans discuss mail. What follows is a feast for veteran ears but more of a sick bag for novices as the beans get into rat poison, Bonjamin and, of course, ham.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

This week in Three Bean Salad starring Henry Paker, Mike Wozniak, Benjamin Partridge, Neil of Bremen suggests Henry Paker and co tackle a subject close to Henry Paker et al’s heart - sandwiches. Included in this episode of Three Bean Henry Salad Paker with Henry Paker: Henry Paker ably interrogates second fiddle Benjamin Partridge on economical sandwich sourcing, Henry Paker discusses Mike “podcast linesman” Wozniak’s thoughts on sandwiches for him and Henry Paker tells a pakeresque story from the past of Henry Paker featuring Henry Paker.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Jen mines her own dreams this week to provide the beans with the topic of going to Disney World and not wanting to be dressed up as a ruffian. Silk worms get a shout out early doors, before the beans glide through Gary Lineker, glance briefly over Bulgarian politics and end up somewhere in the region of The Fonz. Enjoy but remember: you can’t sit on your own arse.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

The topic this week is no topic owing to an excess of intro prattling which the Bean Machine was unable to cope with. Did Henry forget to clean the Bean Machine slough-sump? Did Mike fail to de-scale the low-pressure waffle sprocket? Has Ben been at the raw prawns again? Or maybe rats got in. In time we may have answers for you but in the meantime here’s a hamless ham sandwich of a podcast episode to help you get to sleep.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpodFeat. "Shop Jazz" by https://freesound.org/people/Migfus20

Paul from Widnes (bot status unconfirmed) serves up the topic of Artificial Intelligence for the beans this week. Sure, to begin with they simply respond by making a series of vague futuristic noises, they’re only flesh and blood (confirmed), but soon enough they get busy and deliberate crab newspapers, an unusual use of hair conditioner and the truth about the Netherlands.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Steph of London isn’t shy about getting the beans to tackle hats and tackle hats they do. For the sake of completeness they incorporate oral tomato snooker, pencil sharpeners and Dobermann puppies. Also expect to hear a hot, fresh exclusive about Ben’s upcoming rebranding.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLivestream tickets for our live show on Saturday 17th Sept: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-three-bean-salad/Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

Away we go for Season 6 which begins with the topic of teeth as suggested by Josh of Bremen. Tune in for tales of sea snakes, how close the world came to seeing its first coin-operated man and why you should be suspicious of anything that costs £78.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLivestream tickets for our show in September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-three-bean-salad/Get in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September), but if you want to listen to extra bonus content you can sign up at our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad