The Worst Bestsellers

  Kait and Renata were left unattended and their love tanks were running pretty low, so they turned to The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman. This one has been kicking around since 1992, and you know what? Some parts of it were not that bad. Unfortunately, there are also…other parts of it. Listen to this one on your way to your next softball game or funeral! Readers advisory: Here. Candy pairing: Kait says M&Ms, Renata says Skittles (with green apple flavor). Footnotes: What’s Your Love Language Quiz? “The Creator Of The 5 Love Languages Is A Homophobe And This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” by Kristen Mae “There’s No Escaping the Five Love Languages” by Katie Heaney The Gottman Institute on Same-Sex Couples “Tucker Carlson complains new M&M’s mascots are ‘less sexy'” by Grayson Quay This American Life Episode #291 – Reunited (And It Feels So Good) Coming up next: The Kissing Booth by Beth Reekles.

Nora Roberts Month continues with a gracious Southern-style housecall from Heidi and Emily, the cohosts of the Nora Roberts podcast Romancing the Shelf. For this podcast crossover event, we discussed Nora’s 1991 thriller Carnal Innocence. It’s the story of a serial killer in a small Southern town and aspects of it have not aged well. Listen now to find out how to sign up for a true crime LARP! Content warning: This book and our discussion of it includes sexual assault, murder, child abuse, racism, and hate crimes. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Romancing the Shelf: Carnal Innocence Romancing the Shelf on Instagram Worst Bestsellers Episode #169 – Divine Evil Coming up next: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

We’re once again starting the year with a visit from our Nora Roberts expert, Christine. This time we read Brazen Virtue, a murder mystery-romance novel from 1988 that has been mystifyingly adapted into a 2022 Netflix original movie. This episode costs $1.99 per minute to listen to via long-distance phone call. Content warning: This book and our discussion of it includes rape and murder. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: A Statement from Nora Roberts Re: Alyssa Milano “Nora Roberts defends Alyssa Milano’s casting in adaptation of Brazen Virtue” by Maureen Lee Lenker “Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Finale Fails to Reckon with Its Pro-cop Legacy” by s.e. smith Coming up next: Carnal Innocence by Nora Roberts.

Another year has come and gone, and Kait and Renata are here to make lemonade out of the lemons of 2021. We each picked our top 6 books of the year and discussed some other highlights of the year. Footnotes: The Boston Globe’s Best Books of 2021, featuring Renata’s picks for best middle grade and young adult novels Taylor Swift Legends of Tomorrow Ted Lasso The West Wing Fast & Furious: Highway Heist Game Wingspan   Coming up next: A January hiatus. Happy New Year! We’ll see you in February! Kait’s Top 6 Best 6.) The Taking of Jake Livingston by Ryan Douglass (Amazon | Bookshop) 5.) The Valley and the Flood by Rebecca Mahoney (Amazon | Bookshop) 4.) The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun (Amazon | Bookshop) 3.) The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones (Amazon | Bookshop) 2.) Rules for Vanishing (& Our Last Echoes) by Kate Alice Marshall (Amazon | Bookshop) 1.) The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher (Amazon | Bookshop)   Renata’s Top 6 Best 6.) Slaughterhouse-Five: The Graphic Novel by Kurt Vonnegut, Ryan North, and Albert Monteys (Amazon | Bookshop) 5.) The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green (Amazon | Bookshop) 4.) A Little Devil in America by Hanif Abdurraqib (Amazon | Bookshop) 3.) The Warmth of Other Suns (& Caste) by Isabel Wilkerson (Amazon | Bookshop) 2.) Tacky by Rax King (Amazon | Bookshop) 1.) White Magic by Elissa Washuta (Amazon | Bookshop)   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Our beloved patrons voted on a book for us to read, and they chose The President is Missing by James Patterson and Bill Clinton. We still love them, and we also love returning guest Carrie for reading this book even though she didn’t have to. Listen now before some terrorists delete the entire internet! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Unclear and Present Danger podcast Coming up next: Bests of 2021.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)  

All we want for Christmas is…another celebrity memoir, and Mariah Claus delivered. We read The Meaning of Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey with Michaela Angela Davis and enjoyed our visit to Mariah’s realm. Listen to this episode on your way to visit your lambily! Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains non-graphic discussions of child neglect, domestic abuse, and racism. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Mariah Carey Explains Why She Tweeted That “Thanksgiving Is Cancelled” by Bianca Betancourt “This Throwback Photo Of Mariah Carey & Will Smith Will Give You All The ’90s Feels” by Brad Witter “This Video Of Mariah Carey Communicating With A Dolphin Has Over 30,000 Retweets, Like She Is Actually Speaking Dolphin” by Matt Stopera “The Summer That ‘I Don’t Know Her’ Became the Most Crushing Celebrity Shade” by Kenzie Bryant Mariah Carey’s Ice Cream Meltdown on TRL Mariah Carey’s Weddings in Photos “Mariah Carey smashes pumpkins to kick off Christmas season: ‘It’s time'” by Nick Romano “27 Burning Questions About Mariah Carey’s New McDonald’s Ad” by Dave Holmes How Did This Get Made #94 – Glitter Coming up next: The President Is Missing by James Patterson and Bill Clinton.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Hold on, Mariah, it’s still spooky season around here for a few more days. We read Yours Cruelly, Elvira by Cassandra Peterson and had a scary-good time getting to know the Mistress of the Dark (and her girlfriend)! Listen to this podcast while updating your list of enemies. Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains non-graphic discussions of child abuse, sexual assault, miscarriages, and old-fashioned light misogyny and racism. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Meet Teresa Wierson, Elvira’s Girlfriend of 19 Years” by Raffy Ermac “Elvira: Tom Jones took my virginity, I needed stitches, and he ditched me” on CeleBitchy Coming up next: The Meaning of Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

After reading Go Ask Alice last year, we were still left with some lingering questions about issues facing teens. Like, drugs are bad, but what about doing occult rituals? Are they okay if you’re only using them to win high school debate tournaments? To find out, we read another book from Beatrice Sparks’ Anonymous Diaries series, Jay’s Journal. Join us for another spine-tingling episode with our beloved former editor Becca! Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains non-graphic discussions of death by suicide, animal abuse, drug use, sexual assault, and a lot of confusing cultural appropriation. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 163 – Go Ask Alice “Teen Death Diary” by Ben Dieterle Alden’s Brother’s Amazon Review of Jay’s Journal Grady Hendrix on Jay’s Journal Coming up next: Yours Cruelly, Elvira by Cassandra Peterson.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We were joined by our Caftan Club sisters, Grace and Ashley, to discuss a bestseller that was so bad it had to be removed from publication: Michelle Remembers by Michelle Smith and Lawrence Pazder. The book represents irresponsible therapeutic practices as well as irresponsible journalism, but at least it’s also uncomfortably horny! Listen while assembling your 13-piece evil bench from evil Ikea. Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains non-graphic discussions of miscarriage, child abuse, animal abuse, sexual assault, and a lot of generally gross stuff. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: You’re Wrong About: Michelle Remembers. The Shrink Next Door podcast “The destructive conspiracy theory that Victoria unleashed upon the world” by Jen Gerson “The Real Victims of Satanic Ritual Abuse” by Linda Rodriguez McRobbie “Real ‘Sybil’ Admits Multiple Personalities Were Fake” by Lynn Neary Coming up next: Jay’s Journal by Anonymous.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  This is our seventh anniversary episode! We’ve been podcasting for much longer than the titular character of The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner has been a vampire. We’d been putting off reading this Twilight novella because we suspected there wouldn’t be too much to talk about, and well, we were kinda right. Still, we had a great time talking to our all-time most frequent guest Carrie again. Plus, we experienced some of the Friendship Challenges from the Twilight: Eclipse card game, and I think it’s safe to say we all grew from the experience. Listen to this episode while politely petitioning Stephenie Meyer to write another book! #WheresFred Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: When this novella was released in 2010, Stephenie Meyer pledged $1 from the sale of each copy to go towards earthquake relief in Haiti, and ended up donating a total of $1.5 million. As there was another earthquake in Haiti, and inspired by SMeyer’s charitable example, this month we donated $150 of our Patreon proceeds to Partners in Health, an NGO that does a lot of good work in Haiti and elsewhere. Stephenie Meyer’s ‘Bree Tanner’ Raises $1.5 Million for Red Cross by Amy Wilkinson “Haiti quake revives anger over aid response to past disasters” by Laura Gottesdiener and Dave Graham Quileute Move to Higher Ground Worst Bestsellers Drinking Game Episode 158 – Midnight Sun Episode 133 – The Host Episode 107 – 4th Anniversary Twilight Spectacular Episode 82 – Breaking Dawn Episode 40 – Twilight Life and Death Episode 31 – New Moon Episode 01 – Twilight Coming up next: Michelle Remembers by Lawrence Pazder & Michelle Smith.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’ve read a lot of popular books over the years, but this episode might be the one most likely to make men on the internet yell at us. Oh well! We’ve already read The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Lynn Varley and there’s no turning back now. Phillip Mottaz, author of The Murderous Haircut of the Mayor of Bel Air, joined us at the local dump to discuss this extremely influential–perhaps too influential–Batman graphic novel. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Squirrel Girl on Dump Teens Bruno on the Batman Wiki “What was the conflict between Green Arrow and Superman that lead him to lose his hand?” on Quora “Frank Miller: ‘I wasn’t thinking clearly when I said those things'” by Sam Thielman Coming up next: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Flashback Summer is over, and yet we’re still talking about a TV show that ended almost 20 years ago. We were joined by Buffy enthusiast Talia to discuss Slayer by Kiersten White, a YA book set in the world of a TV show that ended before today’s teens were born. It’s a publishing choice that confuses us, but hey–the book itself is pretty good! Listen to this episode to get your blood pumping before vampire fight club. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Gwendolyn Post on the Buffy Wiki Merrick on the Buffy Wiki “Kiersten White answers all your burning ‘Slayer’ questions” by Karen Rought Coming up next: The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Lynn Varley.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  Flashback Summer has moved past our time with the Baby-Sitters Club to revisit another enterprising teen girl, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We read a vintage Buffy tie-in novel, Halloween Rain by Christopher Golden and Nancy Holder, with our guest THE Meredith Goldstein, the Boston Globe’s Love Letters columnist and author of books like Things That Grow and Can’t Help Myself. This book may contradict established Buffy canon, but at least it also has some very dated pop culture references in it! Play this episode over the sound system at the Bronze. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Sunnydale Mall on the Buffyverse wiki Slayerfest 98 podcast “Mandolin Rain” by Bruce Hornsby “Nightmare Before Christmas‘ Sally Gets to Shine in a New YA Novel From Shea Ernshaw” by James Whitbrook Coming up next: Slayer by Kiersten White.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  The Baby-Sitters Club’s worst nightmare was a dream come true for us, as Courtney Summers, best-bestselling author of books like The Project and Sadie, joined us to discuss The Baby-Sitters Club Super Mystery #2: Baby-Sitters Beware by Ann M. Martin. Courtney identified this title as a formative book for her, and you simply can’t argue with the results that have come from this foundation. Listen to this in the station wagon on your way to Shadow Lake! Readers advisory: Here. Number of stars: Ten ********** Footnotes: Nola Thacker on the BSC Wiki Michelle Kwan Presents Skating Dreams series Coming up next: Halloween Rain (Buffy the Vampire Slayer series) by Christopher Golden and Nancy Holder.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

This Flashback Summer episode found Kait & Renata home alone, no cool teen baby-sitter nor responsible adult around to monitor their bedtime. Things got a little loopy. You’ve been warned. We read several books from the Baby-Sitters Little Sister series: Karen’s Plane Trip, Karen’s Witch, Karen’s Ghost, and Karen’s Kittykat Club, all “by” Ann M. Martin. We made zero jokes about “Karens,” because Karen Brewer transcends that cliche and would only ask to talk to your manager if she thought your manager might know a good scary story. Listen to this episode to briefly distract yourself from the horrors of climate change! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Life Lessons We Learned from Baby-Sitters Little Sister Coming up next: The Baby-Sitters Club Super Mystery #2: Baby-Sitters Beware by Ann M. Martin.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We read Baby-Sitters Club #7, Claudia and Mean Janine and Baby-Sitters Club #40, Claudia and the Middle School Mystery, both by Ann M. Martin. We were thrilled to spend more time with the coolest kid in Stoneybrook, and especially thrilled to discuss her with Susan Tan, author of the Cilla Lee-Jenkins books. Listen to this episode while hiding junk food and Nancy Drew novels around your bedroom! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “‘The Claudia Kishi Club’ is a love letter to the beloved ‘Baby-Sitters Club’ character” by Yi-Jin Yu “Claudia and the Baby-Sitters Club Books We Really Needed” “An Ode to Claudia Kishi, the Coolest Kid in ‘The Baby-Sitters Club'” by Bettina Makalinta “Seventh-Grade Style Icon Claudia Kishi’s Baby-Sitters Club Outfits, Ranked” by Maggie Fremont Coming up next: Karen’s Plane Trip by Ann M. Martin.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’re putting the “summer” in Flashback Summer by going to camp with our friends, the Baby-Sitters Club (and also our friend literary agent Amy Stern). We read Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #2: Baby-sitters’ Summer Vacation and Baby-Sitters Club Friends Forever Super Special #1: Everything Changes, both by Ann M. Martin. We loved revisiting these books, but we’re not sure we’d send any children to visit Camp Mohawk. Listen to this episode while researching the summer camp accreditation process! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “How The Baby-Sitters Club Made Social Justice Fun for Tweens” by Ashley Fetters “These 19 Institutions Are the Best Summer Camps in the Country” by Nadine Jolie Courtney Coming up next: Claudia and Mean Janine by Ann M. Martin.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’re kicking off Flashback Summer by going to a galaxy far, far away and a long time ago. We read the non-canonical Star Wars Legends novel The Courtship of Princess Leia by Dave Wolverton with Star Wars Enthusiast Zayne. If you’re a Star Wars fan of a certain vintage, you might be grimacing with recognition here. If you haven’t heard of this book, you might be thinking it would be nice to see Han and Leia’s courtship and marriage. Unfortunately: it isn’t. It isn’t nice at all. If you ask your 3PO unit nicely, perhaps they will play this episode over their speakers for you. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Star Wars Legends “Who Gets To Be ‘Hapa’?” by Akemi Johnson Coming up next: Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #2: Baby-sitters’ Summer Vacation! by Ann M. Martin.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  We wanted to bring some girl power to Celebrity Memoir May, so returning guest Sophi joined us to read No Walls And The Recurring Dream by Ani DiFranco. If you”re thinking that that title is a little wordy and incoherent, you have a good idea of what the book is like. Listen to hear three long-time Ani DiFranco fans learn that you should never meet your heroes, or read their memoirs. Content warning: This book contains descriptions of child neglect and sexual assault. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Ani DiFranco Is ‘Remarkably Unapologetic’ About Slave Plantation Retreat” by Mallika Rao Ani DiFranco Is Tired of Talking About Herself (So Here She Goes Again) by Rich Juzwiak Women’s Festival Must Choose Between Indigo Girls and the Transgender Ban New PSA Examines Experiences of Transgender Survivors with a Message that RAINN is Here for Everyone ‘The Rock’ buys a scoop of Portland ice cream — Dwayne Johnson takes a stake in Salt & Straw by Mike Rogoway Coming up next: The Courtship of Princess Leia by Dave Wolverton.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Alright, alright, alright! Even though time is a flat circle, we’re celebrating Celebrity Memoir May and we’re starting the party with Matthew McConaughey’s book Greenlights. The most surprising part about this book was how much we sincerely enjoyed it. The second most surprising part about this book was all the wet dreams. Seriously, this book was wild and we hope that you will listen to it! Content warning: This book contains descriptions of child abuse. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Matthew McConaughey Made His Debut on an Old Unsolved Mysteries Episode” by Adrianna Freedman “Matthew McConaughey may be a viable candidate for Texas governor” by Robert T. Garrett and Gromer Jeffers Jr. The just keep livin foundation Matthew McConaughey Peace Corps PSA Matthew McConaughey & Camila Alves at Carnaval (this is NOT the photo Renata describes in the podcast but I cannot find it online!!! use your imagination to get the rest) Coming up next: No Walls and the Recurring Dream by Ani DiFranco.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We learned so much from discussing Rachel Hollis’s book Girl, Wash Your Face with Margaret H. Willison (of Two Bossy Dames, Appointment Television, and NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour) that we simply had to reunite to discuss her latest book, Didn’t See That Coming. Brace yourself for the most shocking revelation: this book made us cry. Our friends at Porter Square Books hosted us for this virtual live show! If you watched it on Crowdcast: thank you so much for joining us! This is just the audio from that event for those of you who prefer not to see our faces. (The video is still archived and you can watch it here if you’d like.) Content warning: This book contains discussion of suicide. Note: This episode was recorded before Rachel’s whole “comparing herself to Harriet Tubman” thing. Readers advisory: Here (via Porter Square Books). Footnotes: Episode 144 – Girl, Wash Your Face Coming up next: Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

It’s been a scary year, so we returned to the loving embrace of Our Lady Nora Roberts. Even though her 1992 novel Divine Evil is about a Satanic cult, we still felt safe in the small town of Emmitsboro, especially with our returning guest, Christine. Listen to this podcast on the long drive back to your charming hometown from the Big City. Content warning: This book contains sexual assault, murder, and potential suicide. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: You’re Wrong About: The Satanic Panic You’re Wrong About Book Club: Michelle Remembers American Hysteria: The Satanic Panic Coming up next: Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  We teamed up with Anna and Alene of the Bellwether Friends again! We reconvened the Worst Best Friends to discuss the important topic of Bridgerton. Not the Netflix series, but one of the books that inspired it–The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. Unfortunately, the book is neither as horny nor as diverse as the series, but we persevered. Listen to this episode to drown out the sound of your seven siblings squabbling! Announcement: Worst Bestsellers is doing a live virtual show hosted by Porter Square Books with special guest Margaret H. Willison! It will be Wednesday, March 31st at 8PM ET. And it’s free! Sign up here. Content warning: This book contains child abuse and dubious sexual consent. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Bridgerton‘s Controversial Sex Scene Needs a Trigger Warning” by McKenzie Jean-Philippe “Bridgerton Has a Lot to Learn About Consent, and So Does Everyone Else” by Princess Weekes “Phoebe Dynevor Responded to All the People Talking About Her Neck on Bridgerton” by Elizabeth Logan “How Bridgerton Officially Became Netflix’s Biggest Hit Ever” by Joanna Robinson Coming up next: Divine Evil by Nora Roberts.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Announcement: On Wednesday, March 31st at 8PM Eastern, we’ll be doing a virtual live show presented by Porter Square Books! Our very special guest Margaret H. Willison will join us to discuss Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis (aka Girl, Wash Your Divorce). The event is free and will be recorded and archived if you can’t make it on the 31st. Register here!  

  Remember the Left Behind series? Did you know it also had a middle grade spinoff series about what would happen to the ungodly children who were left behind when their parents were Raptured? Well: it did, and we read book #1, The Vanishings by Jerry B. Jenkins & Tim LaHaye, along with our sisters in our cult club, Ashley and Grace. Listen now if you want to be saved! Announcement: Worst Bestsellers is doing a live virtual show hosted by Porter Square Books with special guest Margaret H. Willison! It will be Wednesday, March 31st at 8PM ET. And it’s free! Sign up here. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Parcast Cults podcast American Hysteria podcast Oh No Ross and Carrie podcast “The Trials of the Tribulation” by Michael Joseph Gross “Let’s Punk the Rapture” by Mat Honan Coming up next: The Duke & I (Bridgerton) by Julia Quinn.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  You’re not dreaming–we did read a bestseller that’s widely considered to be “good,” The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler. We teamed up with Amanda and Geoffrey from the podcast Dirt Cheap to investigate: is it actually a good book? Who is the murderer? Where can a guy find some good pornographic material in this town? Listen to this episode on your next stakeout! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Dirt Cheap Wolverine: The Long Night podcast Coming up next: The Vanishings (Left Behind: The Kids #1) by Jerry B. Jenkins & Tim LaHaye.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’re back from our hiatus! We spent the off-season training hard so we’d be better at *checks notes* Exy, the cool co-ed sport favored by characters in The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic. We were joined by Rachel and Adrienne of the podcast After Adult to read the first novel by this self-published superstar. Listen to this episode while doing your fake sports warmups. Good hustle! Content warnings: This book contains child abuse, sexual assault, stigmatization of mental health care, and violence. Our discussion of it touches on these topics though not in graphic detail. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: After Adult: Talking Fanfic with Worst Bestsellers Fanfiction 101 “Sports-Themed Queer YA Series an Indie Hit” by Jennifer McCartney Boys In Our Books Q&A With Nora Sakavic The Foxhole Court on Smashwords Candy pairing: Adrienne says Japanese rice cracker candy, Kait says Raven’s Revenge, Rachel says candy cigarettes, Renata says a candy prepared by Bitterblue’s Graced chef for her nemesis. Coming up next: The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

In more precedented years, we’ve picked our favorite and least favorite books that we read each year outside of the podcast. But in 2020, we were too busy just trying to get through the year to do much recreational reading. Instead, Kait and Renata convened to discuss the top ten things that helped each of them make it through this year. Tune in to hear us discuss all of these things, and keep reading to see links and pictures! Note: after this episode, we’re taking a short hiatus to attempt to recover from 2020. We’ll be back in February 2021! Kait’s Top Ten 2020 All-Stars 10) Gem painting PaintGem Paint With Diamonds 9) Blackbird Doughnuts 8) Stardew Valley Who Is The Most Eligible Bachelor in Stardew Valley? 7) Jackbox Games Trivia Murder Party Tee-KO Drawful Quiplash 6) Murder shows My Favorite Murder Unsolved Mysteries Vanity Fair Confidential People Magazine Investigates Law and Order: Criminal Intent Criminal Minds 5) The Magnus Archives AO3 works in Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives) 4) Animal Crossing ‘Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ Is the Game We All Need Right Now Why Animal Crossing Is the Game for the Coronavirus Moment 3) Barclay/Indrid AO3 works in Barclay/Indrid Cold (The Adventure Zone) grace coming out of the void The Adventure Zone: Amnesty Why My TAZ Amnesty Ship is Superior to Griffin’s 2) The McElroys The Empty Bowl Sawbones MBaMBaM Animations 1) My nephew   Renata’s Top Ten 2020 All-Stars 10) Old Wii Fitness games Gold’s Gym Cardio Workout Just Dance 2 Get Fit With Mel B 9) Baby Yoda Werner Herzog Was Brought to Tears by Baby Yoda 8) Lady pop stars Taylor Swift – Folklore (and Evermore!) Kesha – High Road Lady Gaga – Chromatica Ariana Grande – Positions 7) Snail mail 6) Who Weekly 5) The Golden Girls Why Gay Men Still Love “The Golden Girls” 4) Greb Comics 3) DC Comics shows Legends of Tomorrow CW Hire Me To Promote Your Shows Please Chosen One Of The Day: Beebo, Your Lord And Master How Legends of Tomorrow Is Subverting Toxic Masculinity At Every Turn Harley Quinn Harley Quinn EPs Talk The Evolution of HarlIvy and Plans For Season 3 Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are Finally Getting the On-Screen Romance They Deserve in DC Universe’s Animated Series Gotham https://twitter.com/renatasnacks/status/1296581572494336000   The Harley Quinn show reading its target comic book bro fandom for absolute filth. pic.twitter.com/OQrwEyA0T7 — find tyler huckabee on bluesky (@TylerHuckabee) February 22, 2020 2) Animal Crossing 1) Animals generally, Duarte specifically Bodega Cats of Instagram RuPaw’s Drag Race Gary the Cat Kitten Academy Manggo the Cat Cincinnati Zoo (feat Fiona the Hippo) Baby Chip and Mama Latke Possum Every Hour And every Best Listener who’s shared pictures of their pets listening to Duarte’s Corner 😻 PS: my Top Ten Best Books of 2020 are on the blog! And the Boston Globe’s Best Books of 2020, including my picks for MG and YA books, are here!

  Per the request of our wonderful Patreon patrons, our editor Becca joined us to discuss the anti-drug cautionary tale Go Ask Alice by Anonymous (aka Beatrice Sparks). Reading it in 2020, we’re not sure what’s harder to believe: that this ever deterred anyone from using drugs, or that anyone ever believed it was actually the diary of a human teenager. We’re grateful to our patrons for supporting us, and just as grateful that we’ve never been invited to any parties where someone slipped LSD into our soda. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Paul F. Tompkins – “Go Ask Alice” “Lines From Go Ask Alice That, In Hindsight, Should Have Tipped Me Off That This Was Not A True Story” by Daniel Lavery “The Book That Defined My Teen Anxiety Turned Out to Be a Lie” by Sloane Tanen “A Queer Reading of Go Ask Alice” by Frankie Thomas Amazon review of Go Ask Alice by the author of Drugs Make You Un-Smarter Candy pairing: Becca says any candy that isn’t secretly acid, Kait says pot gummies, Renata says orange yeast rolls. Coming up next: Bests of 2020.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Like a newborn vampire, we’re always thirsty for more supernatural teen drama around here. We turned to a finely-aged vintage, The Awakening (Vampire Diaries #1) by L. J. Smith, and we were thrilled to be joined by Lily Sparks (@lilyroro), author of non-vampire, but still high stakes, YA novel Teen Killers Club. Join us as we extoll all the ways L. J. Smith’s teen vampires are cooler than Stephenie Meyer’s teen vampires, including the best take on a love triangle we’ve ever seen in our storied history. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Carmilla (YouTube series) “Italy’s annual calcio storico tournament — part football, part MMA — is a brutal sight to behold” by Paolo Bandini Candy pairing: Kait says Hershey’s Special Dark Kisses, Lily says a vanished spicy-sour candy of her youth, Renata says mini Milky Way Midnights. Coming up next: Go Ask Alice by Anonymous.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We read a semi-fictional, semi-self-published, completely bonkers book about the inner workings of the reality show Model Muse which is, of course, legally distinct from the long-running reality show America’s Next Top Model. Bestselling author and ANTM superfan Mackenzi Lee joined us to discuss The Wig, The Bitch, And The Meltdown by Jay Manuel. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 161.5 – Extra Video Footage of Kait, Renata, and Mackenzi discussing The Wig, The Bitch, And The Meltdown “The real reason Jay Manuel from ‘ANTM’ made his debut novel fiction, not a memoir” by KC Ifeanyi “Jay Manuel’s Truth is Out There” by Rich Juzwiak “Jay Manuel’s satirical ‘America’s Next Top Model’ novel angers Tyra Banks’ by Carlos Greer “Tyra Banks Was ‘Hurt’ After Hearing About Jay Manuel’s Novel Inspired by ‘America’s Next Top Model’” by Meredith Nardino “The 15 Craziest Tyra Banks Moments on America’s Next Top Model” by Kelsea Stahler “The real reason why Jay Manuel left America’s Next Top Model” by Brent Furdyk ‘Tyra Banks Wouldn’t Have Made It If Her Mom Didn’t Support Her Booty in ‘Any Shape or Form'” by Stephanie Eckardt Pod Ledom Podcast Coming up next: The Awakening (Vampire Diaries #1) by L.J. Smith.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.) Audio Player

It’s spooky season, so we revisited a classic of our childhoods: Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn. It was a nice change of pace to read a competently-written book, so we had to spend most of our time raging against the poor parenting on display in this book. Our guest Rebecca Mahoney (@cafecliche)’s debut novel, The Valley and the Flood, comes out in February 2021, so listen to this episode while pre-ordering your copy! PS: Sorry for some extra sound issues on this episode. It was a ghost probably? Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Wait Till Helen Comes movie trailer Candy Pairing: Kait says a candy apple, Rebecca says Tootsie Roll pops, Renata says sour apple Jolly Ranchers. Coming up next: The Wig, The Bitch, and The Meltdown by Jay Manuel.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We read The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking For Love on Reality TV by Colton Underwood with our special guest Rebecca Kim Wells (@RebeccaWriting), Bachelor fan and the author of Shatter The Sky and Storm The Earth. If you didn’t already know (or guess from the title), Colton was a contestant on The Bachelorette and later a Bachelor who famously told the world via reality television that he was a 26-year-old virgin. Colton brought a lot of baggage to the Bachelor mansion so we have much to unpack! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 04 – I Didn’t Come Here To Make Friends Episode 04.5 – I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends, Part 2 All The Pretty Pandas “Cassie Randolph Says COVID-19 Had ‘Nothing to Do with’ Colton Underwood Split” by Robyn Merrett “Colton Underwood Denies Cassie Randolph’s Accusations That the Former Bachelor Is Trying to ‘Monetize’ Their Split” by Sarah Hearon “Bachelor’s Colton Underwood Explains Where He Stands With Ex Cassie Randolph, the Truth About the New Chapter” by Johnni Macke “Cassie Randolph Files for Restraining Order Against Colton Underwood 3 Months After Split” by Erin Crabtree “Meet Alex Dillon, the Boston woman who dressed as a sloth on ‘The Bachelor’” by Kevin Slane “The 15 Best Looks From Colton’s ‘The Bachelor’ Season Premiere Are So Damn Cute” by Theresa Massony Candy Pairing: Kait says fundraiser candy for a football team, Rebecca says Three Musketeers, Renata says the cherry on top of a Steak N Shake milkshake. Coming up next: Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

There’s a lot that’s bad about 2020, but hey, we’ve made it to our 6th anniversary! We are feeling extremely #blessed that Stephenie Meyer saw fit to release Midnight Sun just in time for this momentous occasion. Even so, we indulged in some day drinking with our very first guest Carrie to get through this book. We’re planning to record a sober Q&A follow-up episode, so if you have questions about the book that were left unanswered by our tangent-filled episode, please email them to us at worstbestsellers at gmail dot com. Thanks for listening to us for six years (?!) Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: In a small effort to give back to the real people whose culture Stephenie Meyer appropriated as part of her saga, we donated $76.98 out of our @Patreon funds, the amount we spent on 3 copies of MIDNIGHT SUN, to the Quileute Tribal Council’s fund. https://t.co/ktT2ylkhkJ pic.twitter.com/jyBpvdYNmn — Worst Bestsellers (@worstbestseller) August 14, 2020 Quileute Move to Higher Ground Worst Bestsellers Drinking Game Episode 133 – The Host Episode 107 – 4th Anniversary Twilight Spectacular Episode 82 – Breaking Dawn Episode 40 – Twilight Life and Death Episode 31 – New Moon Episode 01 – Twilight Griffin and David Present The Phantom Podcast The Batman Teaser Trailer Team Alice Fanart Candy Pairing: Carrie says candy corn pumpkins, Kait says Twilight-branded Sweethearts, Renata says green apple Skittles. Coming up next: The First Time by Colton Underwood.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)    

Think of the saddest thing you can imagine. No, sadder. Make it fifty times sadder. Okay, you are in the vicinity of comprehending the levels of tragedy porn Wally Lamb has packed into his novel I Know This Much Is True. Because life in 2020 wasn’t already sad enough, and because some of us love Mark Ruffalo, we brought Arielle back to discuss this peak 90s Oprah’s Book Club pick. Content warnings for just about every imaginable potential trigger. We are serious! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “‘This will happen’: Mark Ruffalo moved mountains to make HBO’s new Emmy hopeful” by Meredith Blake “Why I Almost Stopped Watching ‘I Know This Much Is True’ After the First Episode” by Rebecca Chamaa Oprah’s Book Club: The Complete List Candy Pairing: Arielle says Torrone, Kait says your favorite candy that’s been stomped into the dirt, Renata says generic fundraiser candy. Coming up next: Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Did you ever wonder what Special Agent Dana Scully was like as a teenager? Did you assume she was probably really into taking classes at her small town’s extremely popular New Age shop? No? Well, she was, and meanwhile also the government was doing some kind of shadowy experiments with unknown goals. That’s according to The X-Files Origins: Devil’s Advocate, an X-Files YA prequel novel by Jonathan Maberry. We’re confused as to why this book was published in 2017, but since it was, we read it with Kait’s True Believer cousin, writer Nicole DeGennaro. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “X-Files Origins: Inside The Mind of Young Fox Mulder With Author Kami Garcia” by Chris Longo “X-Files Origins: Author Jonathan Maberry on Young Dana Scully’s Path To Belief” by Chris Longo The Montauk Project on Wikipedia The Adventure Zone: Amnesty This chocolate-covered Brussels sprouts prank is pure evil genius Fanfiction 101 Candy Pairing: Kait says some dirt, Nicole says Mit-Mats (knock off Kit-Kats), Renata says carob chip cookies. Coming up next: I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Flashback Summer 2020 draws to an end with a return to the 90s, which contains within it a return to the 1940s. Our mysterious guest M joined us to read Ground Zero by Kevin J. Anderson, an X-Files tie-in novel. Come along with us on an X-File unbound by the production costs of a weekly television show, as Mulder and Scully suddenly gain the jurisdiction to investigate nuclear ghosts in glamorous locations like Hawaii, the Marshall Islands, and New Mexico. Be advised, it’s going to take awhile to download this episode over the dialup connection from your clunky government-issue laptop. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “How the Owl Bar’s Green Chile Cheeseburgers Fueled the Atom Bomb Scientists” by Robyn Lee Fanfiction 101 Candy Pairing: Kait says Dunkaroos, M says malted milk balls, Renata says sunflower seeds. Coming up next: The X-Files Origins: Devil’s Advocate by Jonathan Maberry.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

In an extremely exciting Flashback Summer, we were joined by S. Jae-Jones (aka JJ, aka the New York Times-bestselling author of Wintersong and Shadowsong) to read Redwall by Brian Jacques! Well, it was exciting to talk to JJ. The book itself was…less exciting, although it did raise some questions about how the food chain works in the world of Redwall. Listen on your next journey by horse cart–quickly, before horses get redacted! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Redwall FAQ Definitive Redwall Body Count A Complete Redwall Feast Adapted For Your Kitchen Overdue #307 – Redwall XKCD #370 – Redwall Candy Pairing: JJ says candied chestnuts, Kait says trail mix, Renata says #herbs. Coming up next: The X-Files: Ground Zero by Kevin J. Anderson.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Maybe it would be easier to practice social distancing if you knew that someone could literally freeze you solid with a single touch? It’s a theory worth exploring, as our pandemic edition of Flashback Summer continues with Freeze Tag, a Point Horror title by the 90s queen of teen thrillers, Caroline B. Cooney. With our guest Trina (@TrinaMareena) we dug into the story of the ultimate ice queen, and made an important stop along the way to discuss the relative fanciness of Pizza Hut. Stay frosty! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Point Horror: 25 years on, let us praise a forgotten ’90s craze” by Beth Rodgers “HBO Max to Develop Anthology Series Based on ‘Point Horror’ Books” by Joe Otterson Don’t Point That Horror at Me podcast The Devil’s Elbow (Point Horror recaps) Candy Pairing: Kait says a Popsicle, Renata says a packet of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, Trina says frozen gummy bears. Coming up next: Redwall by Brian Jacques.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Say hello to your friends! As Flashback Summer continues, we revisited the small, child-friendly town of Stoneybrook. We read Mallory and the Trouble With Twins by Ann M. Martin with returning guest Liz. Join us on a walk around the mall (remember malls?), where we discuss ear piercing, afterschool snacks, and the moral fortitude it takes to identify as a Mallory. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode #53 – Baby-Sitters Club Book Recommendations Based On Your Favorite Babysitters From The Baby-Sitters Club by Alison Doherty Robin Sparkles – Let’s All Go To the Mall Cobie Smulders – Let’s All Stay at Home The Baby-Sitters Club Is a Welcome Surprise and Utter Delight By Kathryn VanArendonk Candy Pairing: Kait says candy buttons, Liz says a Twix, Renata says a mall pretzel. Coming up next: Freeze Tag by Caroline B. Cooney.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Flashback Summer is off to the races! Well, kind of. We eventually got to the races after a long slog through the wilderness. We read The Black Stallion Revolts by Walter Farley with returning guest Carrie. It’s the classic story of a horse and a horse boy. And a crime boy. Well, we’re still waiting for the fingerprint analysis to exonerate the crime boy. Listening to this episode might just cure your amnesia! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode #75 – The Saddle Club I Don’t Even Own a Television #156 – The Danger (Dick Francis series) Blank Check: War Horse “When Aliens Join Your Horse Fantasy: Walter Farley’s The Island Stallion Races” by Judith Tarr Animal House horse scene Cat trots like a horse Candy Pairing: Carrie says spice drops, Kait says oats, Renata says GORP. Coming up next: Mallory and the Trouble With Twins by Ann M. Martin.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.) Audio Player

It’s our 150th episode, and to kick off our 4th Flashback Summer, we asked to hear from you, our listeners. We loved hearing about everyone’s childhood favorite books and sharing a little bit about ours. Thanks: to Andrew and Craig of Overdue, Alan, Red, JJ (aka S. Jae-Jones, author of Wintersong and other books), Ashley R., Liz J., Genevieve, Devin, Kathryn and Melissa of Truer Words, Madelyn, Lucy, Nora, Imogen, Joyce, Hallie, Sarah Mirk (author of Guantanamo Voices and other books), April, Megan, Ashley K., Meredith Goldstein (Love Letters columnist and author of Chemistry Lessons and other books), Danielle, Meagan, Liz H., Courtney Summers (author of Sadie and other books), Celia, Emma, Rebecca Mahoney (author of The Valley and the Flood), Jess, Josie, Payge, Laura, Ben, Kellie, and Collision & J.W. of I Don’t Even Own a Television for their contributions, and extra thanks to our editor Becca for putting all of these clips together! And thanks to all of you for listening! Congratulations: to our Flashback Summer raffle winners: Emma, Josie, Joyce, and Madelynn! Notes: This episode was recorded and assembled weeks ago and contains no references to current events. But we would like to take a moment here to affirm that Black Lives Matter. Full list of titles referenced in this episode below this cut:   Chronicles of Prydain series by Lloyd Alexander (Amazon | Bookshop) Young Jedi Knights series by Kevin J. Anderson & Rebecca Moesta (Amazon | Bookshop) Watership Down by Richard Adams (Amazon | Bookshop) The Wainscott Weasel by Tor Seidler (Amazon | Bookshop) Redwall by Brian Jacques (Amazon | Bookshop) Sunfire series by Candice Ransom et al (Amazon | Bookshop) The Mouse and His Child by Russell Hoban (Amazon | Bookshop) Rinkitink in Oz by L. Frank Baum (Amazon | Bookshop) A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L’Engle (Amazon | Bookshop) The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett (Amazon | Bookshop) Daddy-Long-Legs by Jean Webster (Amazon | Bookshop) A Porcupine Named Fluffy by Helen Lester (Amazon | Bookshop) My Father’s Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett (Amazon | Bookshop) Carbonel: The King of Cats by Barbara Sleigh (Amazon | Bookshop) Humor, Horror, and the Supernatural by Saki (Amazon | Bookshop) The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall (Amazon | Bookshop) The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton (Amazon | Bookshop) The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien (Amazon | Bookshop) Amelia’s Notebook by Marissa Moss (Amazon | Bookshop) Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls (Amazon | Bookshop) The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin (Amazon | Bookshop) Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (Amazon | Bookshop) Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (Amazon | Bookshop) Just a Summer Romance by Ann M. Martin (Amazon | Bookshop) Baby-sitters Club #21: Mallory and the Trouble with Twins by Ann M. Martin (Amazon | Bookshop) Baby-sitters Super Mystery #2: Babysitters Beware by Ann M. Martin (Amazon | Bookshop) The Great Green Notebook of Katie Roberts by Amy Hest & Sonja Lamut (Amazon | Bookshop) Animorphs series by K.A. Applegate (Amazon | Bookshop) The Dollhouse Murders by Betty Ren Wright (Amazon | Bookshop) The Moorchild by Eloise McGraw (Amazon | Bookshop) Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden (Amazon | Bookshop) A-Z Mystery series by Ron Roy (Amazon | Bookshop) The Girl with the Silver Eyes by Willow Davis Roberts (Amazon | Bookshop) Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld (Amazon | Bookshop) Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine (Amazon | Bookshop) Tales from the Vulgar Unicorn edited by Robert Lynn Asprin (Amazon | Bookshop) The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (Amazon | Bookshop)

Bad news: A Werewolf in Riverdale by Caleb Roehrig is not a tie-in to the CW show Riverdale, but rather to the town of Riverdale from the Archie comics. Well–from the Archie Horror comics. Good news: we once again teamed up with J. and Collision from I Don’t Even Own a Television to tackle the big questions raised by this novel, most importantly: did you know that Jughead’s little hat is called a “whoopee cap,” and when Jughead transforms into a werewolf, does he still wear his whoopee cap? Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “The Weird History of Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa” by Avery Kaplan “A Feud in Wolf-Kink Erotica Raises a Deep Legal Question” by Alexandra Alter I Don’t Even Own a Television #146 – The Day Before (Riverdale prequel novel) I Don’t Even Own a Television #157 – Resident Evil II: Caliban Cove (featuring Kait & Renata) Candy Pairing: Collision says a Hershey bar when he expected a Mr. Goodbar, Jay says Laffy Taffy, Kait says cold French fries, Renata says a hamburger when she ordered a milkshake. Coming up next: Flashback Summer Super-Special Edition!   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We like X-Men. Our guest Anna (@lcarslibrarian) likes Star Trek. So we thought it would be fun to read the Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men crossover novel Planet X by Michael Jan Friedman. But it turns out that this exhausting crossover novel spends most of its time focused on a new character who isn’t particularly connected to either franchise. Set your phasers for “none” and don’t read this book! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 49 – X-Men: X-Cutioner’s Song Episode 50 – X-Men 3: The Last Stand Tsunkatse (Star Trek Voyager episode feat Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) Candy Pairing: Anna says earl grey macarons, Kait says X-Men ice cream, Renata says mixed Jelly Bellies. Coming up next: A Werewolf in Riverdale by Caleb Roehrig.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

When the going gets tough, the tough get to reading cozy cat mysteries. We read The Fast and the Furriest by Sofie Ryan, the story of a small coastal town plagued with murder and antiquers. Our opinions were split–Renata liked the cat but not the murder, Kait liked the murder but not the cat, and Duarte just hopes that feline detectives are paid a fair wage. Listen to this episode at a safe social distance from any murderers and/or antiquers! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Flashback Summer Featuring…You? “Crime-Solving Cats And Cozy Mysteries Are A Publishing Juggernaut” by Hillary Kelly Candy Pairing: Kait says a cup of tea, Renata says Annie’s fruit snacks. Coming up next: Planet X by Michael Jan Friedman.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Katharine McGee’s novel American Royals dares to ask: what if the United States had a royal family? And what if the modern-day American royal children were a little bit horny? The Bellwether Friends, Anna and Alene, joined us to discuss this book’s baffling structure, insufficient world-building, and potential Wawa sponsorship. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Bellwether Friends #113 – ABBAsode Royal Romance: 13 Stories Of Everyday People Who Fall In Love With Royalty by Ann Foster Red Fox James on Wikipedia Candy Pairing: Alene says Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (from Wawa), Anna says a Disney Princess Candy Fan, Kait says old timey penny candy, Renata says a caramel apple. Coming up next: The Fast and the Furriest by Sofie Ryan.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’ve been reading too much frivolous lady fiction around here, so we had to make time to read a Serious Book by an Important White Man. Our guest Amy used her human skills of persuasion to get us to read Machines Like Me by Ian McEwan, Finally, someone has dared to ask the questions: what if robots could have emotions and also working penises and also what if the UK had lost the Falklands War? Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Archana and Chandni” by Iona Datt Sharma “Ian McEwan: ‘Who’s Going to Write the Algorithm for the Little White Lie?'” by Tim Adams “In McEwan’s Latest, The ‘Machine’ Is Too Much Like You” by Heller McCalpin Candy Pairing: Amy says Fry’s Turkish Delight, Kait says a potato battery, Renata says Mystery Airheads. Coming up next: American Royals by Katharine McGee.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Hey girl, guess what? Your life could be way better than it is right now if you just believed in yourself and also married a high-up Disney executive! Definitely mostly the first thing though. We were joined by Margaret H. Willison (1/2 of Two Bossy Dames, 1/3 of Appointment Television, and one of Pop Culture Happy Hour‘s 4th chairs) to discuss Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, a Christian self-help book that misleadingly contained no skin care advice whatsoever. Readers advisory: Here. Transcript: Here. Footnotes: Rachel Hollis on Jen Hatmaker Rosie Perez on Bullseye Girl, Wash Your Face on By the Book Candy Pairing: Kait says an Oreo while crying, Margaret says leftover Christmas candy, Renata says a cheese plate. Coming up next: Machines Like Me by Ian McEwan.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  We invited Rebecca Mahoney, co-writer of The Bridge podcast and author of the upcoming YA novel The Valley and the Flood, to be a guest on our new podcast, My Least Favorite Murder. We read novelist Patricia Cornwell’s ambitiously-titled true crime book Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper–Case Closed. Listen now to hear more than you ever wanted to know about a famous painter’s penis! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: A new Ripper mystery: Why Patricia Cornwell won’t stop hunting him by Mary Wakefield “Whitechapel mural will celebrate the lives of Jack the Ripper’s victims” by Alison Flood “Historian speaks of ‘constant trolling’ over Jack the Ripper book” by Mark Brown Sawbones #151 – The Royal Fistula Fad Sawbones #245 – Medical Illustration Bear Brook podcast The Fall Line podcast In the Dark podcast Candy Pairing: Kait says gruel, Rebecca says bachelorette party penis pops, Renata says ginger chews. Coming up next: Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

  As a belated Valentine to ourselves, we invited our friend Angie Manfredi (@MissKubelik), editor of The Other F-Word, back on the show to read a Best Bestseller. We read Scythe by Neal Shusterman, a twisty YA utopia-ish where death is optional and the cloud is your friend. This episode does contain full spoilers for a book that we sincerely recommend reading, so maybe hold off on listening if you’ve been meaning to read Scythe? Or listen to the episode now–in the age of mortality, life is short. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Angie sent me this clip from an interview with Neal Shusterman before we recorded but the actual article seems to have disappeared from the internet??? Four Questions for Neal Shusterman Candy Pairing: Angie says whatever candy you like best, Kait says a box of chocolates with one poisoned one, Renata says Dippin Dots. Coming up next: Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper–Case Closed by Patricia Cornwell.   * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)