The Weird Tales Podcast

In which our heroes do some bad sewing. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rcBbYU5YEEuGcTkvF80oS9gaQjUgWwmK/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our heroes begin their investigation Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AekViU22H27zPS41QMQMsPExF8GfDZ6W/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our heroes hear a family history Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KrzTel7JZxSixhr5CnT5uchrttM5_US1/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our hero follows directions

In which our hero goes to a meeting

In which our hero runs some tests

In which our hero plays a game

In which our hero has... moments.

In which our hero locks himself in a room

In which our heroes ask for help

In which our hero makes a promise

I'm a dummy. There's nothing more to say. I'm a dumb. Dummy.

Tangents: Our heroes’s religious history, Weird Al’s innuendo, Lindsey Stirling, O Holy Crap, Mike’s own little personal Mandela Effect, Garett’s Toys R Us life, Frank Sinatra can save anything, Feel free to click on the links below, but you’ll spoil the episode by seeing our lists. But, these are show notes, not cops, so you can’t be stopped if you really want to. Mike’s Top Ten: 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AN_R4pR1hck 2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBSyByHtvoY 3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlaBn4v2e1c 4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ6LIS6m8qE 5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uZnbzTG1jY 6. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nlZN570YFM 7. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGVNzgUxE-g 8. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmddeUJJEuU 9. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmumgxAfTwA 10. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-W2Bkz_Rno Garret’s top ten: 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJPc7esgvsA 2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmddeUJJEuU 3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8NcQzMQN_U 4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_xq3Bj_tas 5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtgGBgpNcIo 6. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfws2Y8BN2k 7. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJw-ey1DPRA 8. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6zypc_LhnM 9. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI6SjsTjwXU 10. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FJU4GrXztE Honorable Mentions Marshmallow World, by Steam Powered Giraffe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hltEVBnakxs You’re a Mean One, Mr Grinch, by Thurl Ravenscroft https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGSneujgGT8 The Nutcracker Suite, by Tschaikovsky, specifically The Russian Dance https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hMjxnwig0o The Nutcracker Suite, by Tschaikovsky, specifically The Dance of the Flowers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZIZ6cO7VHE Stock Up On Joy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXXPIk4v6aw It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Fishmen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tTHn2tHhcI O Holy Crap https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvGX2Ta-1Q4 One More Sleep (Robin’s Version) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_OPIxB_CE4 All I Want For Christmas Is You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY All I Want For Christmas Is You (Toad’s Version) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RtI5UEZlzU Dominic the Donkey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca5wXojemRM Do They Know It’s Christmas (seriously, though, DON’T LISTEN TO THIS SONG. IT’S TERRIBLE.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3fSknbR7Y4 Christmas Shoes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYiM3_EzAi8 An Old Fashioned Christmas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DguvASLTmTI David Hasselhoff’s Hooked on a Feeling https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQVlVHsFF8

In which our hero goes to church. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ADdT9dUzDiIeH0Oi3HIAY7erukjwkh25/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our hero recounts the history lesson from last week and then FINALLY the story starts. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HPwerLhtliVxRm20TFS22BQ5UEPr6qgR/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our hero complains about receiving an extensive history lecture, then gives us an extensive history lecture. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bn2d0ZwtqAS2Oe_ZlLMtEu0WBWsinluy/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which two of the goodest boys are the best boys. The protagonists of this story are two dogs, but nothing bad happens to them, so listen without anxiety. The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our hero does a task with the bloodymindedness of a star ship captain. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1USZ92Ksb7DqrMQQ53TuvcUCMFhNgu_5a/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our hero spends way too much time and effort for a story he really should know better than to inquire about. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PbY8gaBf750U0XlYFpIBUpnHzpV68c0D/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our hero commits all sorts of crimes, misdemeanors, and atrocities, which would get him executed or imprisoned in any country in the world, but here, gets to marry a princess, cause that's how these things work, and he's totally ungrateful, cause he's kind of an idiot.

In which our hero champs and stamps, and then stands still. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZeBxSrb4HyCBJV82K_SUuo0BBf35oUpU/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our hero learns to NEVER trust a blood sausage.

In which our hero marries a perfectly terrible person.

In which our hero Pet Semataries his beloved

In which our heroines do what all good children do: Shave a dwarf bald and then stand by as a bear kills him.

In which our heroine demonstrates that you should NEVER Robinson Crusoe a story without a damn good way to end it, which Robinson Crusoe absolutely DOES NOT DO CAUSE ITS A CRAP BOOK.

In which our hero finally learns his lesson.

In which our hero gets the authorities to roust out a bunch of unhoused people from their home where they were sleeping soundly, not bothering anyone, cause he's a total complete, unrepentant asshole. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xnvevABp-5FjZkZD2kO14PmSNEpn8t6v/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

Be nice to your elders, kids, or you'll be stuck with a frog on your face FOREVER.

In which our heroes have to deal with an unreasonable father.

In which our heroines plays the name game.

In which our heroine just absolutely REFUSES to stand up for herself.

In which our heroine asks for a head with hair. Long, beautiful hair. Shining, golden, flaxen, waxen.

In which our heroine goes hippie, and we get the most abrupt nonsensical ending to a story.

In which our hero mercilessly destroys a man's life, but for a good reason.

In which our hero is just a huge, raging, unrepentantly terrible, asshole. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/18nMuLcaSH9DAA-8ZCSUe_chUmeCVASkN/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our heroes lament a lost child.

In which our heroes HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER THIS IS THE MOST MESSED UP STORY YOU WILL EVER HEAR AND IT WAS MEANT FOR KIDS WHAT IN THE BLUE HELLS WAS GOING ON IN GERMANY

In which a turn up has very little to do with anything, and in which a rich man is, predictably, an asshole to everyone he meets.

In which our heroine learns to take extra care with strangers, even flowers have their dangers, and though scary is exciting, nice is different from good.

In which everyone just needs to CHILL OUT AND BE HAPPY WITH THEIR LOT IN LIFE AND QUIT TRYING TO SHAKE UP THE STATUS QUO OKAY?

In which our hero makes a name for himself.

In which our heroine, does what mothers do best: makes sacrifices to ensure her kids have the BEST life.

In which our heroes have a nice, quiet, little storytime. Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1j3vXMgvxls3jdRu4HhwPb5_5yLAwdCp5/view?usp=sharing The Colin Malatrat Museum of Curious Oddities and Strange Antiquities: https://www.amazon.com/Malatrat-Curious-Oddities-Strange-Antiquities/dp/B0BJ4MMW1N Podcast artwork by Ruth Anna Evans (https://twitter.com/ruthannaevans) Please consider supporting the following: Sister Song https://sistersong.nationbuilder.com/donate The Afiya Center https://theafiyacenter.org/donate SPARK: Reproductive Justice NOW http://sparkrj.org/donate/ Center for Reproductive Rights https://reproductiverights.org/take-action-abortion-is-essential/

In which our hero has just the best life that any kid has ever wanted, or dared to dream.

In which our heroes just do some random stuff and then disappear.

In which our heroine gets a serious case of the vapors.

In which our hero's father learns that you can be a selfish, petty, cruel father, and still get all the gold and jewels in the world when your son marries rich, because what the hell even is justice?

In which our heroes learn that violence is not the answer. Violence is the question. The answer... is yes.