The Topical

The world is a safer place today. Hear what went into the unprecedented, unilateral agreement to obliterate the 7,000-square-mile island. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear what led DEA agents to seize and destroy more than 16,000 pounds of the dank sticky-icky. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why an increasing number of people around the country are now waiting until their late 40s, even 50s, to jump into an additional secret marriage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear how NASA’s latest partnership with the private sector could help the moon look 10 years younger with a natural, age-defying skin regimen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Find out if Lord, God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, will face any prison time for this reckless act. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The A.I. research team at MIT is hailing it as a breakthrough in their field that will finally allow them to kick back and relax a little bit. We have the latest on what the now-sentient robotic life forms have planned next. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And he’s not wearing a shirt. Oh, yeah. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why zoologists are calling the big cat’s act of mutual oral sex a major breakthrough in the field of animal behavior. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why, according to a new Duke University study, being a decent parent is actually incredibly easy —and if you find it to be at all difficult, you’re probably doing it wrong. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear how those who fabricated a bachelor’s degree also tended to have better test scores, less student debt, and an additional graduate degree from a prestigious Ivy League school. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Plus, OPR takes a look at the conspiracy theory surrounding NASA’s storied Apollo program. Is it possible that Neil Armstrong’s moon orgasm was faked? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

OPR Weather Correspondent Kenneth Neeley is live from the Gulf Coast, explaining how Hurricane Laura’s path of destruction serves as God’s punishment for all his wicked acts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear how a worsening humanitarian crisis is forcing film enthusiasts to risk everything, all just for the chance to see an early screening of Christopher Nolan’s latest blockbuster. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear how an increasing number of Covid-19 cases has prompted L.A. mayor Eric Garcetti to respond with a city-wide “Designated Downer” program, designed to totally kill the vibe at parties with more than 10 people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why ExxonMobil believes their new initiative will have minimal environmental impacts and provide Americans with clean, affordable fuel. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A random act of violence or something more sinister? Hear what police are saying about this anaphylactic tragedy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From outdoor enthusiasts to casual walkers, hear why CorpseMatch is a must-have for all nature explorers who regularly stumble across the rotting carcasses of the misfortunate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We have the latest on this massive shakeup at the DNC. Hear how Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard was able to claim the nomination despite dropping out of the race nearly six months ago. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why income inequality between the charmingly named pets of rich people and impoverished Americans is growing larger than ever before. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We have the latest on the new bill that would allow any citizen of a foreign nation to immigrate to the U.S. as long as their piano-playing is superb enough to make Citizen and Immigration officials openly weep. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if Trump loses but refuses to accept the election results? That’s the question on the minds of Democrats today, who say they’d be willing to go so far as coordinating a day where they all wear the same pin in order to hold the president accountable. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s long been considered a cornerstone of Shakespeare’s work, but mounting historical evidence says he may not have actually been responsible for the 1995 neo-noir mystery film. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Covid-19. Police brutality. The 2020 presidential election. And on top of all that, snakes. Hear why sometimes it feels like Americans just can’t catch a break. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The popular social media app is in hot water after some dangerously sincere videos. Hear how the company is backtracking today after having their platform flooded with millions of videos featuring insufferable high school drama club students. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We have the latest on the coughs, hisses, hard swallows, lip smacks, and phlegmy throat clearings at the forefront of each campaign. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear how this woman was able to fend off her would-be assailants, and what you should watch out for if you hear sirens headed your way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The scientific community is calling the monumental mission a crucial step forward toward better understanding how species react to being deposited into the sun’s 27 million-degree plasma core. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

OPR has the latest in this ongoing “turf war” between the Chicago Police Department and Homeland Security. Can the two sides find a way to brutalize citizens together? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear more about the benefits of investing in an awe-inspiring pearl to tenderly caress while whispering, “Yes, my sweet,” to it every night. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The American people held a press conference today to announce that, while they appreciate the strides brands have made toward inclusivity over the years, they kind of got it already, okay? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why residents of Bedford, VA believe now is the right time to change the name of the 14-foot-tall Confederate statue. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Police in Franklin Country, IL have called off their search for missing 12-year-old Brittany Morel after reeling in what they believe to be at least a 20-pounder, which would make it the largest bass ever hooked on Rend Lake. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear how Carter managed to pull off the amazing feat during an official PBA-certified game two weeks ago, earning his face a coveted spot on the massive stone structure. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

They want to make cool toys for big kids, like video games and airsoft guns. But is the company best known for making rattles and corn poppers mature enough to make the leap? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The NOAA is ordering all tropical cyclones to storm in place for a minimum of 14 days before moving on to destroy other parts of the country. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

OPR has the latest on the One Percent’s shining commitment to oppress the powerless, even in the face of economic uncertainty during the pandemic. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

More couples are being forced to move in with other family members to cut costs, but how is it affecting their sex life? Hear how residing along the putrefying remains of Mother can result in a noticeable down turn in your desire to get it on with your partner. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In the wake of an unprecedented health crisis and mass protests against police brutality, all eyes are on local government officials to keep our communities safe. Hear just how sick and tired mayors across the country are getting of having every little decision they make be held under a goddamn magnifying glass. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Confederate monuments continue to be dismantled across the country, but not without some resistance. Hear how one armed group of counter-protestors—dubbed the Jellystone Militia—are standing by to protect a sculpture of their favorite cartoon bear. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says they’ve discovered evidence of these disease vectors in nearly every city in the nation. Hear just how horrified they were to learn of the existence of these germ-infested public wells of moisture. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It may not be the Running Of The Bulls tradition everyone knows and loves, but festival organizers in Pamplona, Spain are confident this year’s modifications will still be enjoyable to thrill-seekers around the globe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Climate scientists have long confirmed that the fast melting of glaciers in the Arctic Sea can be attributed to greenhouse gases, but many admitted today that this guy Todd isn’t exactly making the problem any better. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you as prepared as you should be for a natural disaster? Researchers have found that less than 10% of Americans have emergency plans in place for the moment the Earth is scorched to its rocky core and vaporized in the blink of an eye. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear how the IRS is looking to “cut out the middleman” by allowing taxpayers to send their money directly to billionaires like Larry Page, Jamie Dimon, or the Walton family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nearly 400,000 of the traffic signs have gone up around the state in an effort to alert motorists when it is appropriate to drive like a complete bat out of hell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Authorities say the prisoner was attempting to escape the confines of the 432-acre complex by getting lost in the fantastical world of Robin Hobb’s “The Farseer Trilogy.” Hear what steps are being taken by prison officials to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Plus, a new presidential poll shows each candidate’s name, followed by a number, then a percentage sign. But what do they mean? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

OPR sits down with several former undercover agents who were mocked for their looks, their bad clothes, and the fact that they were all virgins. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Authorities in Carson City are calling it one of the most underwhelming serial killers the city has ever seen, and are hoping to put an end to this chilling, yet uncreative rampage before the murderer strikes again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Could these huge electric cubes that citygoes can drag, push, or roll with them to their destination be the future of transportation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices