The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley

In this episode, Ben explores a common frustration for leaders: teams or individuals who seem stuck and unable to make progress. He explains that "spinning your wheels" often comes down to a combination of factors rather than a single cause. Key issues include a lack of time and capacity, unclear direction or priorities, fear of accountability, and missing skills or knowledge needed to complete the work. When leaders fail to clearly state priorities, teams often default to business‑as‑usual tasks instead of tackling new initiatives. Ben also highlights how some team members wait for explicit permission to step up and take responsibility. By clearly defining priorities, granting permission, and providing the necessary support and skills, leaders can help teams move from stalled discussions to real progress. Resources mentioned in this episode: Work with Ben - Get in touch here.

In this episode, Ben discusses why induction (or onboarding) is more important than many leaders realise. While it can seem like a dry administrative task, it creates the first impression a new employee has of the team or organisation, and that impression can influence how connected and motivated they feel. Ben shares a personal story about a poor onboarding experience where nobody seemed prepared for his arrival, leaving a lasting negative impression. From there, he outlines several ways leaders can improve induction. These include creating a structured and repeatable process, helping new starters build connections with colleagues, introducing familiarity with the workplace and its people, and providing the right balance of early work so the new person feels useful without being overwhelmed. He also emphasises the importance of managers personally investing time in the induction process to help new employees feel welcomed and valued. Resources mentioned in this episode: SCARF model of motivation. Work with Ben 1:1.

In this episode, Ben argues that while there is rarely a true "silver bullet" in leadership, respect comes close when dealing with difficult team members. Respect involves fairness, listening to the other person's perspective, and involving them in decision-making about solutions. He explains that respect must go both ways, and that leaders must also ensure they are respected. When respect is absent, issues often escalate into formal performance management. Ben also encourages leaders to focus on what they can control in emotionally charged situations. Resources mentioned in this episode: Article: Taking a Coaching Approach with Less Telling and More Asking Work with Ben 1 on 1: Leadership coaching.

In this episode, Ben unpacks the concept of authentic leadership and simplifies it into practical action. Rather than trying to "bring your whole self to work," he suggests selectively bringing the most useful parts of yourself in a professional context. He introduces the leadership shield exercise, where leaders define four "being" qualities they want to embody at work. Ben also emphasises understanding personal values, developing self-awareness through feedback, and using 360 feedback processes to identify blind spots. Authentic leadership, he argues, builds trust and reduces stress because you are not pretending to be someone else. Resources mentioned in this episode: Understand your values online course Work with Ben 1 on 1 – leadership coaching.

Ben discusses how thoughtful leaders can survive and succeed in difficult workplace environments. Drawing on his own experience, he explains why some strong leaders may opt out of senior roles due to toxic cultures, and why that's a loss for organisations. Key strategies include knowing what you are getting from your current role, clarifying your personal values, connecting to a sense of purpose, and building a trusted support network. Ben also shares the example of rugby referee Hollie Davidson and reflects on how difficult environments can filter out capable people. Resources mentioned in this episode: Understand your values online course Work with Ben: Leadership coaching.

In this episode, Ben explores Herzberg's Motivator Hygiene Theory and explains how leaders can use it to better understand team motivation. This is an older theory, but recently it has been re-examined with further research studies which tend to confirm it is still quite a valid way to think about motivation. Hygiene factors such as salary, a safe workplace, policies and procedures create a baseline for motivation, but do not generate high engagement on their own. Motivators such as interesting work, recognition, appreciation, development opportunities and purpose drive higher levels of intrinsic motivation and discretionary effort. Ben explains the importance of ensuring hygiene factors are in place, while also focusing on individual motivators that managers can influence directly. He also discusses refreshed research that continues to support the two-factor structure in modern workplaces. Resources mentioned in this episode: Herzberg's Motivator Hygiene (Two-Factor) Theory Some refreshed research on the two-factor model: Paper 1, Paper 2, Paper 3. Work with Ben 1 on 1.

Ben shares four ways to convince yourself to do hard things when leadership demands it. He explains how considering consequences, reflecting on identity, treating challenges as learning experiences, and asking what a good leader would do can increase motivation. The episode connects these techniques to motivation theory, including towards and away-from motivation, and encourages leaders to act even when discomfort is present. Resources mentioned in this episode: Towards and away-from motivation Leadership coaching: work with Ben.

In this episode, Ben addresses the tension between ambition and burnout for thoughtful leaders. He explains why ambition matters and why sustainable habits are essential for long-term success. Drawing on his own routines, he covers healthy habits such as meditation, exercise, sleep, and nutrition, as well as the concept of restorative niches from Brian Little's work. Ben also challenges rigid ideas of work-life balance, suggesting flexibility and long-term thinking instead. Resources mentioned in this episode: Restorative niches (Brian Little) Work with Ben: Coaching.

Ben explores the idea that resistance is often a sign you should lean in rather than avoid. He explains how the brain's threat response drives avoidance and how social threats can feel as real as physical ones. Using a personal story about working with a difficult colleague, Ben shows how pushing through discomfort can build capability, even if the outcome isn't perfect. He also discusses research on the anterior mid-cingulate cortex and how doing hard things strengthens your ability to do more hard things in the future. Resources mentioned in this episode: SCARF model (David Rock) Anterior mid-cingulate cortex research Work with Ben: Coaching.

In this episode, Ben reflects on four of the most important things he did for his career and what thoughtful leaders can learn from them. He explains how mindfulness helped him manage frustration and build emotional regulation over time, why joining Toastmasters reduced his fear of public speaking, and how listening to informal mentors shaped key career decisions. Ben also shares how studying for an MBA while working full time built discipline, healthy habits, and ultimately created the space to start Thoughtful Leader. The episode encourages leaders to work on themselves so they are better equipped to handle whatever challenges arise. Resources mentioned in this episode: Headspace app Waking Up app – Sam Harris Toastmasters International Work with Ben: Coaching.

In this episode, Ben breaks down the concept of ghostworking (which is really modern-day presenteeism) and explains why it's usually a commitment issue rather than laziness. He draws on motivation theory, including hygiene factors and intrinsic motivation, and shares practical ways to rebuild commitment through connection, purpose, responsibility, and fairness. The focus of this episode is on addressing root causes rather than defaulting to control or punishment. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.

In this episode, Ben explores whether personal values can be changed and what to do when they seem to hold you back. He explains that while values are relatively stable, we can adapt our behaviour regardless of what our values are. Through examples of conflicting values like ease versus growth, he shows how leaders can consciously choose which values to prioritise in different situations. This episode offers reflection questions to help identify your own values and use them more intentionally. Resources mentioned in this episode: Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values course Thoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.

This episode tackles a common leadership dilemma: how long to wait before enforcing consequences for poor performance or behaviour. Ben walks through a practical decision-making process, starting with curiosity and feedback, then moving to support, clarity, and finally consequences if behaviour doesn't change. He discusses the importance of stakeholder alignment, realistic follow-through, and why avoiding consequences can undermine trust and motivation across the team. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.

In this episode, Ben explores how deeply held beliefs shape behaviour and can quietly limit leadership confidence. Using personal stories about fitness, public speaking, and career choices, he illustrates how untested assumptions can become self-imposed barriers. Ben explains the difference between fixed and growth mindsets, the role of self-talk, and how beliefs often become baked into identity. He encourages leaders to notice when they say "I can't do that" and get curious about whether those beliefs are actually true. Resources mentioned in this episode: Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values course. Thoughtful Leader Coaching.

In this short and sweet episode, Ben farewells 2025, says Thank You and talks a little bit about how principles (rather than goals) can help you set intentions about how you want 2026 to go. Thanks for listening in 2025, and Ben will be back around mid-January 2026.

Supporting your people doesn't have to be complicated. In this episode, Ben shares four key reminders leaders often forget. He explains why these fundamentals matter more than dramatic leadership techniques and how thoughtful leaders can use them to build trust and stability. Ben draws from coaching conversations and real workplace examples to help you support your team with confidence. Resources mentioned in this episode: How to Lead Effectively as a People Pleaser Make the Most of Motivation Models in Your Team Too Busy at Work? Try These Five Things Gallup StrengthsFinder assessment PRINT Assessment 16Personalities.com Episode 130: One-on-one Meetings Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1:1.

In this episode, Ben introduces a straightforward model to help leaders give challenging feedback in a way that hopefully helps the receiver get on board with it. He explains each of the parts of the model and shares practical examples to show how the model works in real conversations. Ben also talks about common mistakes thoughtful leaders make, like softening the message too much or delaying feedback out of discomfort. The episode links closely to The Useful Feedback Journal, which helps leaders process feedback they receive and builds their confidence in asking for feedback. Resources mentioned in this episode: The Useful Feedback Journal - get your copy today. Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1:1.

Many new leaders struggle when moving from individual contributor to leadership. In this episode, Ben breaks down why the transition feels so difficult, especially for thoughtful, high-performing people. He covers key mindset shifts including letting go of control, redefining success, prioritising relationships over tasks, and stepping into visibility even when it feels uncomfortable. Ben also shares stories from coaching clients who found leadership hard because they still identified as "doers", not leaders. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1:1.

In this episode, Ben explores whether it's possible to stay authentic while also adapting your leadership style. Drawing on coaching conversations and personality models like DISC and OCEAN, he explains why adaptability doesn't mean "changing who you are". Instead, adjusting your behaviour to meet the needs of different situations is both necessary and can still be genuine. Ben shares real examples from his facilitation and project management work, showing how leaders can honour their natural traits while flexing their approach when required. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching Kerri Price - facilitation training.

In this episode, Ben talks about the importance of balance in leadership: knowing when to step in and when to step back. He discusses common traps, like micromanaging or being overly hands-off, and helps leaders identify their "sweet spot" where they can provide enough guidance without stifling independence. Ben offers practical reflection questions and strategies to help you stay balanced, effective, and confident as a thoughtful leader. Resources: Work with Ben: Thoughtful Leader Coaching.

In this episode, Ben introduces The Useful Feedback Journal, a digital tool designed to help leaders process, accept, or reject feedback thoughtfully. Drawing from his own painful experience receiving harsh feedback after a workshop, Ben explains how the journal guides you through four stages – Retreat, Reflect, Extract, and Act – to turn feedback into growth rather than frustration. He also shares success stories from pilot users and outlines how journaling can help you track patterns and improve your response to feedback over time. Resources mentioned in this episode: The Useful Feedback Journal Thoughtful Leader Coaching.

In this episode, Ben explores a common leadership dilemma: how open should you really be with your team? While transparency builds trust, oversharing can create confusion or discomfort. Ben offers practical advice for finding the right balance between honesty and professionalism. He discusses when to share challenges and when to protect your team from unnecessary stress, helping thoughtful leaders navigate openness with self-awareness and confidence. Resources: Brené Brown's website: https://brenebrown.com/ Work with Ben 1:1 – Coaching for thoughtful leaders.

In this episode, Ben explains how knowing your personal values helps you lead with confidence. He shares how values act as a foundation, keeping you steady when challenges arise. Ben reflects on his own experiences and discusses how understanding your values can help you make decisions, handle pressure, and stop second-guessing yourself. He also introduces his small-group Values Discovery Sessions, designed to help leaders uncover their core values and use them to lead more authentically. Spaces are limited to 8 people, so book your spot now using this link: >>> Click here to book your place in an upcoming Values Discovery Session.

For the 300th episode, Ben tackles one of the most common challenges thoughtful leaders face: dealing with strong personalities at work. These colleagues may be direct, dominant, or results-focused - all traits that can feel intimidating or frustrating. Ben shares five practical tips, from avoiding direct confrontation to preparing well for interactions, so thoughtful leaders can hold their ground without trying to overcompensate or act like someone else. He reminds us that strong personalities aren't bad, just different, and that with the right strategies, you can work alongside them effectively while staying true to your own leadership style. Resources mentioned in this episode: Article: Five Tips for Quiet Leaders. Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1 on 1.

AI tools like ChatGPT are everywhere, but what does that mean for thoughtful leaders? In this episode, Ben shares personal examples of using AI for marketing, podcasting, and even gardening - but he also issues a word of caution. Over-reliance on AI risks "deskilling" teams by removing valuable opportunities for learning and mentoring. Drawing on examples from law and medicine, he shows how bypassing junior staff development can have long-term consequences. Leaders can embrace AI, but must balance efficiency with the need to grow capable, confident teams. Resources mentioned in this episode: Book: The Skill Code by Matt Beane Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1 on 1.

Adapting your leadership style is essential but if you're not careful, it can feel exhausting. In this episode, Ben explains how to shift your style to suit different situations - whether it's being more direct in a crisis or more outgoing when networking, while keeping it sustainable. He draws on personality psychology research, including insights from Brian Little's work on "personal projects," to help leaders recognise when it's worth stretching themselves and when to restore their energy. The goal: flexible, people-focused leadership that won't compromise your wellbeing. Resources mentioned in this episode: Brian Little – Blog and information on Personal Projects. Brian Little – TED Talk - "who are you really?" Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values – online course Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1 on 1.

In this episode, Ben explores why stability is such a powerful leadership trait. Drawing from his coaching and training experiences, he highlights how inconsistency erodes trust and creates uncertainty in teams. Ben shares his own routines, such as exercise, mindfulness, morning reading, and small rituals that help him maintain calm, dependable leadership, even under stress. He emphasises that your team needs to rely on you regardless of circumstances, and building stability through consistent habits is one of the best ways to lead with confidence. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching: Work with Ben 1 on 1. The Useful Thinking Journal.

In this episode, we look at a common challenge for thoughtful leaders – taking too much responsibility for other people's problems. Reflection and self-awareness are powerful strengths. But when reflection turns into overthinking and self-criticism, leaders can start to "own" problems that aren't really theirs to solve. I explore why thoughtful leaders are prone to this, how it increases stress and disempowers both you and your team, and what you can do to set healthy boundaries. You'll also hear why accountability must stay with the person who owns the issue, not with you as the leader. Resources mentioned in this episode: The Useful Thinking Journal – a helpful tool for reflection without slipping into unhelpful self-blame. Episode 259 – Why Leaders Should Have a Reflective Practice Article: When Team Members Won't Take Accountability Leadership Coaching with Ben.

What happens when poor behaviour or performance goes unchecked at work? In this episode, I cover the risks of working in a consequence-free environment, where team members face no real impact for their actions. I share why "trying everything" often fails without accountability, and why feedback, formal warnings, or performance improvement plans can all be necessary tools. Consequences aren't about punishment – they're about giving people a reason to change, and creating fairness for the whole team. Resources mentioned in this episode: Team Accountability Builder Course Article: 6 Steps to Deal With Behaviour Issues in Your Team Leadership Coaching with Ben

A client once asked me a great question: "If my values are already part of who I am, why do I need to understand them better?" In this episode, I unpack the answer. Your values are always shaping your leadership, but when you understand them clearly, you can see what situations will help you thrive, and which will leave you drained or frustrated. With this awareness, you can prepare for challenges, choose the right environments, and stay true to what matters most. Resources mentioned in this episode: Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values (Online Course) Leadership Coaching with Ben

Leadership credibility isn't built overnight, and there are no tricks that you can use to be respected in meetings or other forums at work. In this episode, I talk about the real groundwork which often happens before you need people to listen to you. That's all about building trust and credibility with your key stakeholders. I share how to identify who your most important stakeholders are, how to map their influence and interest, and how to grow strong relationships over time. This groundwork makes it easier to be heard and respected, no matter your leadership style. Resources mentioned in this episode: Stakeholder Management Tips for the Everyday Leader (Article) Episode: Why Leaders Must Set Boundaries at Work Leadership Coaching with Ben