The Small Bow Podcast

Mary HK Choi returns to the pod to discuss her extremely popular NY Mag essay about her adult autism diagnosis. We also discuss social anxiety, self-forgiveness in the aftermath of both our father’s deaths, and Mary’s practice of using a post-it note to remind her to “go say hello” to other people in social situations and not to isolate. Some of this conversation is an update to Mary's last time on the show. If you like this, check out S1 E15 "Suffer the Adult Children". Find more of us at thesmallbow.com/podcast. In this Episode: 00:00:00 Top of Show The Essay 00:02:50 Mary’s essay, public response 00:06:29 Perceptions of autism, personal and professional challenges 00:15:27 What didn’t make the article, self-diagnosis and resources, https://embrace-autism.com/ In Relationships 00:27:07 Self-compassion, communicating needs, growing into things 00:34:18 Relationship to eating, food, autistically feeling your body 00:37:30 No Surprises Club, Julianne hello’s A.J. Parents and Parenting 00:42:27 Addressing the past, Ozzy vs Dr. Drew 00:50:07 Father-child relationships, Hungry Girls Forever, breaking cycles 00:55:10 Unsubscribe from your 11yo, Looking back without anger, old-boy dads 00:59:12 Reevaluating memories, choosing to have a relationship, saying goodbye 01:02:59 Asking what was my part? Being in our heads, “Don’t be like me” 01:13:49 A.J. geeks 01:15:00 Closing thoughts, our next super famous guest

The inimitable Peaceful John returns for our new season for another round of soothing lessons in reparenting ourselves. Today we talk about the difference between deserving and entitlement. Do you know the difference? Neither did we.

We reconnect with comedian Megan Koester and learn all about her (new) sobriety and how she’s finally excavating some long-buried family trauma. After multiple EMDR sessions, she’s learning how to grieve. But is she less funny now?

Emily Gould is a writer from New York Magazine. This Valentine's Day, The Cut published Emily's essay "The Lure of Divorce." Between the two, Emily was coming to grips with a mental breakdown. We talk about her bipolar diagnosis and the way back into herself and into her marriage. It gets real!

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Our last episode of Season 1, with our guest Swamp Dogg. Swamp’s the musical and spiritual inspiration for RGS. Today we talk about success, friendship, happiness, Johnny Knoxville, and all the highs and lows of his 70-year career. We also have New York Times wonder-journo David Marchese on to add some credibility to our show. Last episode! Let’s get it.

This episode is about the internet, specifically “Emotional Sobriety and the Internet,” which is something I’ve struggled with for close to 20 years. Should I just log off forever, throw my iPhone into the river, and walk away? We talk with journalist Karen Ho, AKA “The Doomscroll Lady,” about the surreality of her own Twitter fame. Plus, some listeners call in and tell us some of their online behaviors that cause them the most shame. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we talk with Dave Holmes, former MTV VJ and host of Waiting for Impact, about what it’s like to get your dream job but still struggle with all the same real world insecurities. Plus, Dave tells us how he’s managed to stay decent in an industry which doesn’t traditionally reward nice people. Do you have a toxic internet behavior – trolling, stalking exes, compulsively buying shoelaces? Tell us about it in a voice memo up to 50 seconds, and send it to [email protected]. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we talk with with meditation teacher James Baraz about the benefits of sitting one hour per day. But how is possible to do that when the world is on fire? Plagues! Insurrections! 90-Day Fiance! But also: being stuck in quarantine with three toddlers jumping around naked and smacking you in the face. Guess what– it doesn’t have to make you crazy. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

COVID, dinos, meditation... A little update. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is this your first New Year’s Eve sober? Amazing! Nice job! But…you may feel lousy, too. This is an episode dedicated to you. Keep going–it gets better. Plus, we have Swamp Dogg doing Auld Lang Syne. Happy New Year! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it mean to detach? And how can you do it without cruelty—when parents are dying? Today we interview Mary H.K. Choi about how she’s navigating the People Progams and trying to find a path toward reconciliation with her immigrant parents. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What is strength anyway? How do you be new? Today we talk with journalist and strong person Casey Johnston about some of the hang-ups many of us have about entering a gym for the first time. Plus, she gives me advice about one of the most mortifying moments of my life. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Don’t spend this Thanksgiving dwelling on the past. Gratitude is possible – even if you’re haunted. Peaceful John gives a master class on how to trudge through grief with dignity. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On our second Pretty Good Shares, we talk to writer, producer Claudia Lonow. We challenged ourselves to do a nightly inventory of our great and not-so-great behaviors for a whole week. The results were...mixed. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jenn Sterger had a promising career in sports media until her life was blown up by an NFL sexting scandal she never wanted public. This is the story of two people whose lives were changed in different ways by the same big story, and the wild twist of fate that helped them both move forward. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Holly Whitaker guests on the first Pretty Good Shares, a series of B-side conversations about whatever's been on our minds. This time it's Coffee Dad, self worth, and trying to love the part of you with the knife. And yeah, that's some new music. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we talk with writer and philosophy professor Clancy Martin about what to do about those damn suicidal thoughts. Who to call. How to act – how to survive. Warning: suicide stuff. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Edith Zimmerman was a successful writer and blog editor who quit everything and dropped off the internet for three years while she figured out what she wanted to do with her life. She decided to stop drinking and start drawing. Her first year sober was the official start of her second act as an illustrator, and her comic, "My First Year Sober" became a huge hit. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Steve Wilson’s heart-tugging sobriety story begins in the bowels of Brooklyn’s bar scene and takes a sharp U-turn into the swamps of Florida. Steve transformed himself from a drunken madman who suffered one too many nervous breakdowns into a guy who runs moonlight marathons in the backwoods of Tallahassee. He’s figured it all out! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As a sober companion, Joe Schrank has worked with countless clients – infamous and wealthy – but he became closest to comedian Greg Giraldo. For years Joe tried to help Greg with his drug and alcohol issues, but the relationship became more personal than professional over time. Then Greg died and Joe has never been the same. And he’s learned what you can’t do for someone else. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Writer and comedian Megan Koester lowers us into her deep dark well – from being an LA lab rat to pay for booze to debilitating depression, to financial desperation, professional rejections. Honestly, outside of the lab rat thing not much has changed. But she’s happy now! Somehow she’s happy, and she loves helping people. Being an jerk doesn't get you very far. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dave from Dopey regales us with a twisted tale of depravity and redemption, where our hairy-legged heroin hero dresses as Big Bird for a children’s birthday party and proceeds to almost ruin it. But that's all behind him now. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Writer Cord Jefferson enters therapy, looks inside, doesn’t like it, sticks with it, gets some relief, and wins an Emmy. Then he freaks out during his acceptance speech and thanks his therapist. Progress! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Author James Frey walks us through the ashes of A Million Little Pieces, Oprah’s concerned phone call, and wisdom from the Hells Angels, in the search for the truth. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Writer & former Jezebel editor Emma Carmichael talks about how we got here after the year everything bad happened – the trial, the job, the bridges... Oh, and the race cars. Wouldn’t anyone want what she has? Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Really Good Shares is a show about people talking about how they made it through hard things and got better because of it. Maybe some of this will help you get better too. And don’t forget Swamp Dogg. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.